The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are

by Daniel J. Siegel

This bestselling book put the field of interpersonal neurobiology on the map for many tens of thousands of readers. Daniel J. Siegel goes beyond the nature and nurture divisions that traditionally have constrained much of our thinking about development, exploring the role of interpersonal relationships in forging key connections in the brain. He presents a groundbreaking new way of thinking about the emergence of the human mind and the process by which each of us becomes a feeling, thinking, remembering individual. Illuminating how and why neurobiology matters, this book is essential reading for clinicians, educators, researchers, and students interested in promoting healthy development and resilience. New to This Edition Incorporates significant scientific and technical advances. Expanded discussions of cutting-edge topics, including neuroplasticity, epigenetics, mindfulness, and the neural correlates of consciousness. Useful pedagogical features pull-outs, diagrams, and a glossary. Epilogue on domains of integration--specific pathways to well-being and therapeutic change.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Parenting, Neuroscience, Science, Counselling, Self Help

607 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is an internationally acclaimed author, award-winning educator, and child psychiatrist. Dr. Siegel received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also serves as a co-investigator at the Center for Culture, Brain, and Development, and is a founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center. In addition, Dr. Siegel is the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute.

Dr. Siegel has the unique ability to convey complicated scientific concepts in a concise and comprehensible way that all readers can enjoy. He has become known for his research in Interpersonal Neurobiology – an interdisciplinary view that creates a framework for the understanding of our subjective and interpersonal lives. In his most recent works, Dr. Siegel explores how mindfulness practices can aid the process of interpersonal and intrapersonal attunement, leading to personal growth and well-being.

Published author of several highly acclaimed works, Dr. Siegel’s books include the New York Times’ bestseller “Brainstorm”, along with "Mindsight," "The Developing Mind," "The Mindful Brain," "The Mindful Therapist," in addition to co-authoring "Parenting From the Inside Out," with Mary Hartzell and "The Whole-Brain Child," with Tina Bryson. He is also the Founding Editor of the Norton Professional Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology, which includes "Healing Trauma," "The Power of Emotion," and "Trauma and the Body." Dr. Siegel currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife.

For more information on Dr. Siegel's work, please visit DrDanSiegel.com.

Reviews

[Jana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this as part of a graduate program and found it absolutely fascinating. This is NOT one of those silly self-help books but a transformative wealth of knowledge that explains how the physical structure of the brain is altered and organized by our significant relationships.

I consider it one of the most important books I've read. It helped me deepen my insights regarding familial relationships, but it also helped me to be a more compassionate partner and friend.

[JA · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book! I came to know Daniel Siegel through the Whole-Brain Child where I was fascinated with his passion in discussing brain development. Following this, I read Mindsight and became drawn to the development of the brain even more. Having read the Whole-Brain.. and Mindsight provided excellent introduction to the more technical and in depth discussions in the Developing Mind.

The Developing Mind have helped me understand aspects of myself better (i.e. why I am the way I am). It also indirectly provided answers to some questions I've had about myself. This process has enabled me to have greater clarity on what I'd like to achieve personally. (Of course, this does not mean that I was in limbo before reading the book. I'd like to think that I had clearer lens upon reading the book.) It is worth the effort to reflect on the things discussed in this book toward personal discovery. Understanding the physiological processes that goes behind brain and mind development and relationships provide an illuminating experience. It's that an excellent a book! My favourite chapters are Attachment, Emotion and Self Regulation. Reading these chapters (and the other chapters depending on your interests) are worth the time and effort. I know I'll be reading this book again.

Criticism - there are concepts that are repeated over and over. I understand that the author wants to provide a user-friendly book, so this could be the reason why a lot of these concepts are repeated across chapters and within chapters. Another criticism is the overselling of psychotherapy in the later part of the book as a way of earning a secure relationship. I thought overselling tainted somewhat the genuineness (only a little bit) of the book in that it became a marketing tool. The fact that the author is a psychotherapist should speak for itself. Frankly, I do not think there's a need for it.

Whilst I have the couple of criticisms above, these are only minor as compared to the value that this book provides. It's not an easy read, but truly worth the effort. I don't hesitate to give it five stars!! Thank you Daniel Siegel.

[Sarah Cupitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting read

Interpersonal neurobiology – or IPNB – presents the mind as an embodied and relational phenomenon shaped by the nervous system throughout the body and by the exchanges we share with others

notes:
- In IPNB, the mind is described as an emergent, self-organizing process.This means it isn’t a fixed “thing” so much as an ongoing activity that regulates energy and information as they move through our neural circuits, sensory pathways, and interpersonal interactions
- well-being depends on integration
- a pattern of functioning that’s flexible, adaptive, coherent, energized, and stable – the “FACES” qualities that signal harmony in a developing or mature mind.
- High integration is often accompanied by positive emotional states.When differentiation and linkage work in concert, our emotional experience feels fluid and expansive – anything feels possible.Conversely, negative emotions frequently follow a state of low integration, in which either differentiation or linkage dominates, and our system swings toward the extreme of chaos or rigidity, or a disconcerting oscillation between the two.Either way, little feels possible here
- This is where the prefrontal cortex plays a starring role.As one of the most integrative regions of the brain, the prefrontal cortex synthesizes input from the cortex, brainstem, limbic circuits, sensations of the body, and even external environmental and social cues.With all these streams connected, our minds gain a critical capacity: response flexibility.Instead of reacting on autopilot, response flexibility means we can pause, reflect, and choose adaptive responses
-
The Developing Mind
Life presents us with endless opportunities to reflect on who we are, why we react the way we do, and how our relationships influence our inner world – yet most of this seems beyond our comprehension.We sense emotions rising and falling, habits pulling us toward default responses, and moments of connection lifting or deflating us, but the underlying mechanisms often remain mysterious.Having a framework to better understand the mind can foster a profound sense of empowerment, and interpersonal neurobiology is one such means. What makes the interpersonal neurobiology perspective especially useful is how practical it is.
Instead of treating the mind as something abstract or unreachable, it shows us how our feelings, thoughts, choices, and sense of identity emerge from processes at work in our bodies and interactions.Whether you’re curious about your emotional patterns, interested in how your childhood affects you today, or eager to strengthen your relationships, an interpersonal neurobiology lens synthesizes the latest science across disciplines in a way that feels both intuitive and accessible. In this Blink, you’ll learn how the mind emerges from the flow of energy and information; how emotions and emotion regulation reveal the mind’s embodied nature; how relationships continually shape neural development; how consciousness creates space for choice and intentional change; and how identity arises as a dynamic, unfolding process shaped across time and connection.
The idea of “the mind” can feel very abstract.Viewed through the lens of interpersonal neurobiology, however, we can come to see it more concretely: a dynamic process that continually emerges from the flow of energy and information within us and between us.Interpersonal neurobiology – or IPNB – presents the mind as an embodied and relational phenomenon shaped by the nervous system throughout the body and by the exchanges we share with others.This contrasts with the common conception of the mind being confined to the skull and entirely individual.
Such a perspective encourages a more holistic – and accurate – way of understanding how biology, experience, and connection all work together to shape who we are.In IPNB, the mind is described as an emergent, self-organizing process.This means it isn’t a fixed “thing” so much as an ongoing activity that regulates energy and information as they move through our neural circuits, sensory pathways, and interpersonal interactions.Here, energy signifies change; for example, the electrochemical firing between neurons, wavelengths of light hitting the eyes, or vibrations of sound entering the ears.Information arises as patterns in this energy, or “energy in formation,” to which we attach symbolic meaning.A key insight in the IPNB framework is that well-being depends on integration.
Integration occurs when our system supports both differentiation – allowing its parts to specialize and maintain their uniqueness – and linkage – enabling those parts to connect in supportive, reciprocal ways.When in balance, our system self-organizes toward an optimal complexity and vitality.The result is a pattern of functioning that’s flexible, adaptive, coherent, energized, and stable – the “FACES” qualities that signal harmony in a developing or mature mind.Conversely, when out of balance, our system veers toward chaos, rigidity, or a mix of the two.Using the analogy of a choir, chaos can be thought of as the equivalent of every chorister singing a different note, paying no attention to the notes of those around them.Rigidity, on the other hand, would be analogous to every chorister singing the same note, with no harmonization amongst the group.
Both reflect a disruption to the system’s ability to differentiate while maintaining linkage.Such breakdowns can stem from several sources, such as genetic vulnerabilities, infections, or the profound impact of early experiences such as neglect or adverse childhood events.Across clinical psychiatric conditions, however, the common thread is some degree of impaired integration that limits the system’s capacity to adapt, grow, and maintain coherence.By entertaining the conceptualization of mind IPNB offers, we can start to see how our personal and interpersonal well-being depends on the dance between differentiation and linkage, and how this dynamic process extends out to influence every moment of our inner and outer lives.
As mentioned in the previous section, interpersonal neurobiology presents the mind as an embodied phenomenon – not just an entity analogous to the brain.Through this lens, the mind is conceived to draw its texture and tone from the shifting patterns of energy and information coursing through the entire nervous system, especially as those shifts shape and are shaped by emotion.Emotion can be understood as a moment-by-moment reflection of changes in integration.Anything but random, emotions arise as a result of our finely attuned relationships to both our inner and outer landscapes.
High integration is often accompanied by positive emotional states.When differentiation and linkage work in concert, our emotional experience feels fluid and expansive – anything feels possible.Conversely, negative emotions frequently follow a state of low integration, in which either differentiation or linkage dominates, and our system swings toward the extreme of chaos or rigidity, or a disconcerting oscillation between the two.Either way, little feels possible here.In this way, IPNB sees emotions as invaluable signals of how well our system is maintaining coherence across its many layers.Because emotions are rooted in the body’s integrative processes, the ability to regulate them depends on helping our system return to a state of balance.
This is where the prefrontal cortex plays a starring role.As one of the most integrative regions of the brain, the prefrontal cortex synthesizes input from the cortex, brainstem, limbic circuits, sensations of the body, and even external environmental and social cues.With all these streams connected, our minds gain a critical capacity: response flexibility.Instead of reacting on autopilot, response flexibility means we can pause, reflect, and choose adaptive responses.Effective emotion regulation keeps our experience within a workable range, referred to as our “window of tolerance.” Within this window, we can engage with life – even the challenging moments – without tipping into overwhelm or shutting down.
Prefrontal circuits help maintain this range by allowing us to reframe events and interactions.However, when integration is impaired, and our system moves outside its window, those regulatory circuits quickly go offline.In an instant, we can be pulled toward instinctive rigid or chaotic reactions that can feel as though they sweep us up before we know it.Viewing the mind as fully embodied presents our emotional life not as random, isolated mental events, but as responsive, receptive processes.As we’ll explore further, such a perspective can offer a great sense of empowerment as we dive deeper into the nature of our minds.
In addition to portraying the mind as embodied, interpersonal neurobiology portrays the mind as relational
- Who we are becomes inseparable from the quality of the relationships that surround us.A central driver of healthy development is secure attachment, which rests on collaborative, compassionate, and contingent communication
- early relational experiences don’t stop there.They’re also responsible for the development of our mindsight, which is the critical capacity to perceive the inner landscape of oneself and others.Well-developed mindsight enables us to tap into empathy for others and self-regulate as appropriate.Underdeveloped mindsight may mean we find it harder to appreciate other people’s perspectives and, perhaps, even our own
- IPNB presents the “three-P framework,” consisting of the plane, plateaus, and peaks. When our awareness is resting in its purest state, this framework would say we’re experiencing the “plane of possibility” – a metaphorical space of expansiveness where limitless potential responses to a given stimulus exist.In the plane of possibility, our mind is untethered to our usual habits and routines.Theoretically, we could respond in an infinite number of ways. Most of the time, however, our responses don’t arise from the completely pure awareness of the plane of possibility.Instead, we often start from our habits and routines – the nonconscious reactions that, over time, have become automatic patterns.
- The three-P framework refers to these as “plateaus,” and they incline us toward our default responses.While plateaus can serve us, offering us time- and energy-saving shortcuts, they can also stymie us, limiting our responses and narrowing our internal landscape.The final “p” in this framework, “peaks,” represents the actualized outcome – the thought, emotion, or action – that results in response to the given stimulus.
- By intentionally lowering ourselves down onto the plane of possibility, our minds can choose responses that break away from the patterns carved by our past experiences.In this way, IPNB conceives of consciousness in a refreshingly concrete way: as an influential agent of change that enables us to process energy and information with more intentionality and less impulsivity
- the self functions less like a noun and more like a verb – an active, ever-shifting process composed of multiple specialized self-states.These specialized states emerge and recede depending on the context in which we find ourselves.We might tap into an analytical self at work and an adventurous self after hours.Each has its own neural profile and emotional tone
- Identity isn’t just who we are alone; it’s also who we are with others
- When we reflect on our history, interpret it, and place it within a broader arc, we engage the mind’s self-organizing capacity.Memories, emotions, and self-states that could otherwise feel disjointed can coalesce to form a coherent whole – yet another way in which we can support integration of our embodied and relational mind.

[SCARABOOKS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lo studio della mente umana è una delle frontiere della ricerca da cui possiamo aspettarci progressi che possono davvero cambiare la nostra vita. Questo saggio ci fa camminare lungo quella frontiera.
Una lettura impegnativa, certo, ma tutt'altro che inaccessibile al non professionista, che sia amatore della materia o che sia praticante del “conosci te stesso”. D'altronde, guardare da vicino i meccanismi della memoria, delle emozioni e capire come il cervello relazioni e si integri col corpo e con l’esterno è cosa di straordinaria suggestione.
Ho trovato per esempio non solo illuminante, ma anche molto coinvolgente la classificazione dei vari tipi di “attaccamento” (sani e patogeni) con cui il bambino si lega alle figure genitoriali nei primi mesi di vita e da cui discende la spiegazione di tanta parte del nostro modo d’essere, delle nostre debolezze e attitudini. O anche la definizione del ruolo centrale e decisivo delle emozioni nel lavoro del cervello.
Leggendo, pensavo a come in fondo lo studio della mente stia percorrendo le stesse strade che fino a poco più di un secolo fa erano accessibili solo attraverso l'intelligenza deduttiva del filosofo o la sensibilità intuitiva del poeta o la sapienza con cui il narratore dà nome alle cose, le descrive.
Non si può non provare stupore e persino commozione nello scoprire attraverso le neuroscienze che spesso non si erano sbagliati nel'analizzare gli uomini e le donne, i loro pensieri, il senso e la ragione delle loro azioni. Trovo straordinario che cause ed effetti scientificamente comprovati siano in accordo con quel che abbiamo letto in certi versi, saggi o racconti. Che è un bel modo anche di confermarci quanto siano geniali certi autori e preziosi certi libri.
Insomma, ci si può emozionare anche leggendo un rigoroso e metodico saggio scientifico.
Chi me lo ha regalato ne era ben consapevole. Anche per questo, il mio è un grazie grande grande.

[Maureen Moriarty · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a leadership coach and trainer, I specialize in emotional intelligence. This book is a must for anyone who wants to understand the human mind and the link between our childhood upbringing, social relationships and brain science (neurobiology) with emotional intelligence (a lack of is the number one cause for career derailment for professionals). It's also important for educators and parents of very young children to understand more about how their actions (how they attend to their child's emotional world-"attachment" theory) will greatly determine their child's emotional intelligence patterns as adults. To Siegel's credit he has taken something that is highly academic,complex, scientific and technical and attempted to put it into language that most of us can relate to--he has done so with some success (though be fair warned parts of this book still read like a scientific text book). However much of it is readable and it is full of fascinating research and understanding about the subject of emotional intelligence and how our brains work. Not a light read! I find it best to read in chapters and ponder it for a while.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very dense and challenging book but fascinating about how the brain develops in response to interpersonal interaction - even in infancy. It talks about how we connect the right brain and the left brain through making mental connections which occur as we have meaningful and attuned experiences with the significant people in our lives. The study of neurobiology is exciting because it helps us understand that responses to traumatic events - or deeply emotionally satisfying events aren't just at the feeling level - they're actually at the level of brain cell development. Siegel is an amazing lecturer - I've heard him present his stuff a couple of times - it's a lot easier to catch it all when you hear him in person. He wrote some more accessible books later on - specifically "Parenting from the Inside Out." His stuff is highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand the brain connections to interpersonal experience.

[Esmie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit simplistic. Siegel fixates heavily on pathology, especially in self-regulation and attachment, without giving the reader much insight about how his ideas about the mind apply in a more nuanced, less extreme way. Still an illuminating and interesting read.

[allyson King · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5. Very interesting. Heavy stuff, not easy to read especially if you dont have drink your first coffee. Took time to read but i did it and dont regret it. Daniel Siegel is brillant i love everything he writes.

[Chandana Watagodakumbura]

In "The Developing Mind, Third Edition: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are", the renowned author Dr Daniel Siegel highlights how healthy information and energy flow among minds, embodied brains and relationships leads to the well-being of individuals. Quite understandably, he reiterates that our minds essentially interact or exchange information and energy with the embodied brain (brain in the skull along with the neural systems in mainly the heart and gut) and extended relationships we have with others. Put differently, our minds are not restricted to the brain encased in the skull. Another admirable effort Dr Siegel put in is to find consilience between third-person/objective/scientific validations and first-person/direct experience data emerging from other sources such as contemplative practices. In this regard, this book, mainly based on the knowledge of interpersonal neurobiology, brings inputs from many disciplines together onto one platform.

Research on attachment theory, which mainly studies the relationships between infants/children and their caregivers, is a recurring topic of the book due to its strong influence on developing minds. Secure relationships with the caregiver are shown to significantly impact the minds, attitudes, ways of knowing and behaviours of infants/children later in life. Some of the negative impacts of insecure attachments can even cross the threshold to become traumatic experiences. However, we don't have to lose hope as Dr Siegel give many examples and descriptions of integrative therapeutic processes (of nine domains) that can be used throughout a lifetime to shift minds towards well-being. One of the book's central premises is that the integration/linkage of well-differentiated neural networks leads to well-being. Wheel of awareness is a tool widely used by Dr Siegel in his therapeutic practice. It combines several domains of integration into one practice. Complexity theory-based 3P framework is also used to describe the operations and mechanisms of the mind, embodied brain and relationships triad. Interestingly, some of these integrative processes or closely related ones are used in commonly used contemplative practices. For example, body-mind integration or body scans referred to in contemplative practices are forms of the vertical integration suggested in the book.

Two important domains of integrations discussed in the book are bilateral integration and interpersonal integration. In bilateral integration, appropriate processes and practices are used to integrate information and energy flow between the left and right brain hemispheres. Given that they have two distinct functions leading to two different ways of knowing/ representing information, this integration of complementary forms is of immense significance for an individual's well-being. The left hemisphere tends to process information and energy primarily in linear, logical and verbal means. In contrast, the right hemisphere plays a significant role in holistic, emotional and nonverbal (such as art forms and facial expressions) processing. Interpersonal integration relates to how an individual communicates with another to find resonance (and repair when rupture occurs). As highlighted above, the significant role played by infants’/children's attachment and healthy relationships established throughout life contributes immensely towards developing healthy minds.

As we would imagine, one of the critical drivers of information and energy flow is emotion, as highlighted by Dr Siegel. An emotion typically undergoes three phases. The first two phases of a state of initial orientation and appraisal and arousal process by the brain's value system are termed as the primary emotion. The differentiation of the components of the primary emotion into socially constructed and nameable categorical emotion (such as sadness, anger etc.) is the third phase. Integration of these information and energy flows of emotions towards well-being is achieved by the vital process of self-regulation. Put differently, emotions are considered as shifts in integration; thus, we may not categorise them as good or bad. They are messengers, and the responses we produce could bring good or bad results. By managing or self-regulating our emotions within a window of tolerance when they erupt, using practices also commonly suggested in emotional intelligence literature, we essentially get involved in information and energy integration processes. As part of self-regulating emotions, we will be introducing a time gap between the second and third phases of the emotion by holding primary emotion in awareness. Put differently, we stop being reactive to the primary emotion, which appears in the form of energy flows rather than information flow with meaning. These primary phases of emotion may create implicit memories with a contextual value that can be used for our learning and development throughout life.

Finally, Dr Siegel brings the book to an end by introducing the notion of Me + We = MWe. It highlights the notions of compassion, interconnectedness and appreciation of nature that we need to embrace to make the world sustainable and regenerative. With these competencies, enhanced as part of developing minds, we can create generative social fields of harmony. Emerging research suggests that quantum theories are increasingly pointing to the interconnectedness of all living beings while honouring macro-level Newtonian theories. The two realms are parts of the reality we live in instead of one or the other.

[Lizzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite psychology text

[Xun F · Rating 5 out of 5]

47 Insights on Personal Psychology, Motivated from Siegal’s The Developing Mind

Xun Shi
All Rights Reserved
2023-07-02

I give 5 stars to Siegal’s The Developing Mind. I love it, not because I read through it or it is perfect, but because I have acquired as many as 47 insights from reading only several highly-selected parts of the book.

My first insight is that a human should have his or her sort of dynamic identities as a personally psychological being.

My second insight is that working memory includes not only its transient existence, but also the mechanism to support its transient existence. Without the latter, the former might become problem.

My third insight is that personally psychological resonance is one of the major mechanisms for the growth of personal psychology.

My fourth insight is that tolerance mechanism is critical to adjust response, and so, secures suitable experiences for evolving personal psychology.

My fifth insight is the personally psychologically internal Congress. Its somatic House represents the different parts of body, and is responsible for distributing resources for taking care of them. And its psychological House represents the diverse aspects of personal psychology, and is responsible for their wellbeing and functions.

My sixth insight is that psychologically synthetic form, or simply, psychological moment, is defined as the highest performing times, should become the goal of every human individual to pursue.

My seventh insight is that the constitutionally generational gaps of personally developing psychology under Americanized global leadership in the coming future shall become bigger than in the recent past, because the constitutional liberty develops better, young generations have finer selections.

My eighth insight is that the personal psychology-reshaping hierarchy includes 9 secular levels, they are personal psychology, brain, body, home, socialization, society, nation, human world, nature; and 2 transcendent levels, supernatural world, and God’s world.

My nineth insight is that I define attention as a personally psychological capacity, it helps awareness purposefully connect with things for fun or doing the work of awareness. Where your attention is shall has a share to reshape you.

My tenth insight is that I define Me-Ta as the truthful relationship between a believer and God, the one and only.

My eleventh insight is that the building of consciousness includes body, the home of biological activities; awareness, the home of moods; soul, the home of emotions; mind, the home of rewards; will, the hierarchies of rewards; spirit, the home of profound purposes; and faith, the home of supreme purpose.

My twelfth insight is that there are ten levels from knowledge to what we do not know. They are Omniscience, supernaturally huge knowledge, constitutional knowledge, disciplinary knowledge, routine knowledge, question, the unknowing, unknowingness, unknown-ness, the unknowable.

My thirteenth insight is that there are 4 principles of national power action. Its first principle is that it must have at least politics and judiciary 2 branches. Its second principle is that it must be constitutional. Its third principle is that a power action has to best coordinate the situationally conditional knowledge mechanism. Its fourth principle is that the Supreme Court mechanism has the power of final saying about the interpretation of Constitution.

My fourteenth insight is that God’s constitution, supernatural experiment, and human-personally infrastructural and purposeful experiences together probably decide the epigenomic changes in the processes of developmental differentiation.

My fifteenth insight is that linkage as an alternative name of constitution for other things holistically coordinates the connections of individual units of a being.

My sixteenth insight is that there are 3 pairs 6 dimensions of any a sophisticated being. They are convergence, divergence; infrastructure, purpose; and vitality, and tranquillity.

My seventeenth insight is that any a sophisticated integration has top, hierarchy, landscape 3 levels, and a correctly long small path going through a big space easily making mistakes to any a strategic selection of the sophisticated integration.

My eighteenth insight is that quality growth of neural integration demands high quality of informational niche integration.

My 19th insight is that the quality of the being of faith has 5 levels, wellbeing in actuality, good being in small reality, kind being in direct reality, conscience-being including indirect reality, truthful being with the preparation for accepting the truth from the Spirit of truth.

My 20ieth insight is that a lot of human ideas need but lack further clarification, through which they might transcend their presently flawed comprehensions.

My 21st insight is that there is plasticity in many broad spheres, including big data, interpretation of everything, psychology, physiology, biology, genomics, creatively discovering evolution-designing, and so on.

My 22nd insight is that developing mind is only one aspect of personally developing psychology.

My 23rd insight is that necessity is relative and infrastructural, and serves the hierarchy of purpose. There is a hierarchy of necessity, the human world climbs from low levels to high levels for achieving greater hierarchy of purposes.

My 24th insight is that attachment for essential supports is a greatly significant aspect of personally developing psychology.

My 25th insight is that the personal mind of personal psychology is the first House of the personally inner Congress for the representation of the world and to represent it.

My 26th insight is that there is the hierarchy of secular belongings. And over the hierarchy of secular belongings, ultimately, in faith, the believers of God believe they belong to God.

My 27th insight is that Brain as the body of body is one of the inner Houses of the personally psychological Congress.

My 28th insight is that the physiologically general resonance of the biological body and its neural system forms the psychological landscape of awareness. Its focus on a vague-stimulation forms feeling, its focus on a clear stimulation forms sense, the resonance of senses forms sensation, ideas are the transcending or abstract or imaginative or anticipated resonances of sensations, and thinking is the logic resonance of sensations and ideas.

My 29th insight is that the internal regulation of wellbeing, function, and purpose along time has higher significance than across space. The latter serves the former.

My 30ieth insight is that the hierarchy of faith in this sequence, God, God’s constitution, God’s world; supernatural world; natural world, within which human world has been being creatively discovered. The sequence within the human world is human world, global constitution, countries, constitutions of respective countries, states, constitutions of respective states, individual citizens. In personal psychology, the hierarchy of faith is simply expressed as Me-Ta.

My 31st insight is that truthful living is lived through Me-Ta faith attachment.

My 32nd insight is that there is visual or linguistic stubbornness or dogma or even aesthetics making personal psychology over-attach the past. In such cases, moving forward is specifically difficult.

My 33rd insight is that constitutionally educational human relationships shall prevail.

My 34th insight is that constitutionally transcending human biology through constitutionally personal psychology shall become the first runner of human biology in farther human evolution.

My 35th insight is that human awareness lives on the very personal surface of God’s constitutionally creatively discovering consciousness through the supernatural experiment.

My 36th insight is that humanity shall go through the reductionism for comprehending certainty, but shall establish biologically creatively discovering evolutionism guided by the hierarchy of purposes to discretionarily explore diversely evolutionary directions.

My 37th insight is that the personally psychologically focused states are second to and guided by faith.

My 38th insight is that the next step of evolution of human brain might be that the neo-cortex evolves to become new neo-cortex guided by X-chromosome, and there might be a thin layer guided by Y-chromosome concisely refined from the present neo-cortex emerged to exist between and connect the old brain and the new neo-cortex and the limbic regions within the medial temporal lobes. In this evolutionary arrangement, the brain volume does not need to necessarily increase.

My 39th insight is that a mode of constitutionally personal psychology is to conveniently absorb and refine and select and promote data, and send them to the reproductive genome.

My 40ieth insight is that cognition is only through human awareness, but metacognition through all human experiences including dreams and sleep without recallable dreams. Metacognition is a thing we need to deal with very carefully, it might mainly serve the reproductive genome, but not exclude to serve for establishing the personally general framework of cognition.

My 41st insight is that the idealistically realistic potentiation had better not all be actualized, and the part of realization should be both situationally conditional and idealistically realistic.

My 42nd insight is that infrastructural establishments and experiences have conservative tendency.

My 43rd insight is that purposeful establishments and experiences have liberal tendency.

My 44th insight is that there are three levels of epigenesis, on zygote as conditions from beginning, on reproductive genome as exploration for reproductive possibilities and probabilities, and on somatic genome for diversely functional differentiations.

My 45th insight is that it is a big jump from constitutionally individual connections to individually constitutional connections. The latter shall generate profound tranquillity, but currently still there are many nations even without constitutionally suitably individual connections.

My 46th insight is that there are three levels of emotions, actual emotions without awaked reasons, real emotions with personally reasonable and describable psychology, and truthful emotions existed with examinable and comprehensible faith.

My 47th insight is that emotion regulation includes transforming their states, adjusting their strength, promoting their levels (actual, real, truthful), and changing their positions (potential, internal appearance, external appearance, linguistically recording form, aesthetically imitating form, and so on).



Farther Readings

1. Siegel, Daniel J. (2020). The Developing Mind, How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We are. New York, London: The Guilford Press.

2. Amazon.com: Xun Shi: Books, biography, log, audiobooks, Kindle

[Aran Chandran · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this dense book that bridges scientific findings in the fields of neuroscience, psychology and developmental studies, Dr Siegel either premeditatedly or fortuitously brings forth an emergence of spirituality. Either way, I’m all the better for it.

Each of the ten chapters of this book, could easily have been a book by itself. And I would probably take some time to read them again, slowly.

A warning though, there’s a Pandora’s box of relationship issues and trauma that you could uncover as you look back into your own life and lives of people close to you. On top of the understanding that the self may or may not be real, or it’s multi faceted and multi emerging. There’s just so many ways to reading this can mess you up or open your mind.

Ultimately it boils down to having love and compassion to all beings and we all are trying to live in this traumatic existence of life, together.

[Jung]

"The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are" by Daniel J. Siegel invites readers to rethink what the mind actually is and how it forms across a lifetime. Rather than treating the mind as an abstract, isolated entity housed solely in the brain, Siegel presents a framework that integrates neuroscience, psychology, attachment theory, and systems science. This perspective, known as interpersonal neurobiology, offers a practical and deeply human way of understanding why we feel, think, and behave as we do. It explains how our inner experiences emerge from the continuous interaction between our bodies, our brains, and our relationships, giving us a powerful lens for personal growth, emotional regulation, and deeper connection with others.

At the heart of interpersonal neurobiology is the idea that the mind is a dynamic process rather than a fixed object. The mind arises from the ongoing flow of energy and information within the nervous system and between people. Energy refers to movement and change, such as neural firing, bodily sensations, or sensory input, while information emerges from patterns within that energy that carry meaning. This process is both embodied and relational, shaped by what happens inside our bodies and by our interactions with the world around us. Seeing the mind this way dissolves the false divide between biology and experience, showing that who we are cannot be separated from how we connect.

A central principle running throughout the book is integration. Well-being depends on the capacity of a system to differentiate its parts while also linking them together in a flexible and balanced way. Differentiation allows each part of the system to maintain its unique role, while linkage enables communication and cooperation between those parts. When integration is strong, the mind naturally moves toward a state that is flexible, adaptive, coherent, energized, and stable. When integration is disrupted, the system drifts toward extremes of chaos or rigidity, or swings uncomfortably between the two. Many forms of emotional distress and psychological suffering can be understood as expressions of impaired integration rather than isolated pathologies.

Siegel emphasizes that the mind is fundamentally embodied. Our thoughts and emotions are not detached mental events but reflections of changes occurring throughout the entire nervous system, including the brain, body, and sensory pathways. Emotions arise as signals of how well our system is integrating its internal and external inputs. When integration is supported, emotional experiences tend to feel manageable and expansive. When integration falters, emotions can become overwhelming, numbing, or disorganizing. From this perspective, emotions are not problems to eliminate but valuable information about the state of the system.

The prefrontal cortex plays a crucial role in maintaining balance and regulation. This region integrates information from many parts of the brain and body, allowing us to pause before reacting, consider multiple perspectives, and choose responses intentionally. When the prefrontal cortex is functioning well, we remain within a 'window of tolerance,' where emotions are intense enough to be meaningful but not so extreme that they shut us down or take over. Stress, trauma, or relational misattunement can push us outside this window, causing reactive patterns to dominate. Understanding this process helps explain why people sometimes behave in ways that feel out of character or difficult to control.

Beyond embodiment, "The Developing Mind" places strong emphasis on the relational nature of mental development. Human brains are shaped through interaction, especially early in life when neural circuits are rapidly forming. Relationships leave lasting imprints on the nervous system. Attuned, responsive interactions foster neural integration, while experiences of neglect, inconsistency, or threat can disrupt it. Secure attachment emerges when caregivers consistently perceive and respond to a child’s internal states, allowing the child to feel understood and emotionally safe. This experience of being 'felt' lays the groundwork for emotional regulation, resilience, and a stable sense of self.

These early relational patterns also influence the development of mindsight, the capacity to perceive the inner experiences of oneself and others. Mindsight allows us to reflect on our own thoughts and feelings while also recognizing that others have their own inner worlds. Strong mindsight supports empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. When mindsight is underdeveloped, misunderstandings, emotional reactivity, and relational conflict become more likely. Siegel shows that mindsight is not fixed and can be strengthened through reflection, intentional relationships, and mindful awareness.

Consciousness plays a vital role in this process. Siegel describes awareness as the ability to observe experience rather than being swept away by it. Consciousness creates a pause between impulse and action, opening space for choice. Through a model that distinguishes between habitual patterns and open awareness, the book explains how much of daily life is driven by automatic responses shaped by past experiences. While these habits can be efficient, they can also limit flexibility. By cultivating awareness, individuals can access a broader range of possible responses, allowing for change even in long-established patterns.

Identity, from an interpersonal neurobiology perspective, is not a single, static entity but an evolving process. The self is composed of multiple self-states that emerge in different contexts, each with its own emotional tone and neural patterns. Psychological health does not require collapsing these states into a rigid definition of who we are, but integrating them into a coherent whole. Identity is shaped both internally and relationally, existing at the intersection of 'me' and 'we.' Feeling connected, valued, and understood by others is not optional but essential to the development of a healthy sense of self.

Narrative plays a powerful role in integrating identity across time. When individuals reflect on their past, make meaning of their experiences, and weave them into a coherent life story, they support integration within the mind. This process allows fragmented memories and emotions to come together in a way that promotes clarity and emotional balance. Through storytelling and reflection, people can reshape how their past influences their present and future, reinforcing the mind’s capacity for growth and self-organization.

In "The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are", Daniel J. Siegel ultimately presents a hopeful message. The mind is not fixed by genetics or early experience alone but remains open to change throughout life. By fostering integration within ourselves and in our relationships, we can strengthen emotional regulation, deepen connection, and cultivate a more flexible and coherent sense of identity. The book reframes personal development as an ongoing process shaped by awareness, embodiment, and relationship, reminding us that each moment of reflection and each attuned interaction contributes to the lifelong development of the mind.

[Teri Uktena · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book seems to be a good overview of current neurobiology findings and how the brain works as an integrated whole, but is mostly definitions. It suffers from a common assumption that there is a universal human, which appears to be middle class, European-American and male, and so all neurobiology should be judged from this baseline. The assumption leaves unexamined the nature of attachment in cultures where individualism is differently defined and counterbalanced with participation in family/community both of which are components which form identity. It also begs the question of whether or not these findings are true at all for other groups which have not been studied such as various minorities, indigenous peoples, those with generational trauma such as survivors of genocide and their families and so on.

[Louis]

I have been putting off reading this book for some time, even though I felt like I needed to read it. When I began reading it for a paper I was writing, I figured I would likely only read sections of it. But I got hooked. It is a bit repetitive at times (helpful if not familiar with neuropsychology) and, as most neuropsychology is for me, boring at times. Yet, I was surprised that the majority of it was quite interesting. I also was quite taken by how many of his positions really provide some interesting support for existential theory developed before most of the neuropsychological findings in this book had ever been explored. It certainly was worth the time and effort, and it did take more of both than most books I read.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Siegle is one of a handful of psychologists whose research centers on the interface between experience and mind...a functional explanation based solidly in neuroscience as to how the mind actually works, how experience shapes function. Tough sledding but well worth the effort. Quite literally a life changing book for me--opened up a whole new world I've been building on since.

[Ben Lamorte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for any student of psychology, pediatrician, pre-school teacher, and serious parent. Also read Parenting from the Inside Out...

This appears to be one of the best books on the topic of child development in the modern, post-attachment theory era.

[Nancy Garon · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible achievement - this book goes beyond the first and second edition, incorporating new ideas while adding to the already noteworthy review of research in multiple fields including neuroscience, psychotherapy and development. Well worth purchasing this third edition!

[Martina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly life-changing insights from the latest science, beautifully written and explained.

[André Borg · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started with formulating a slightly too negative review already halfway through the book since I was very frustrated with a few aspects of the book, however the final chapter left a deep impression and I am thoroughly glad I stuck through the book and finished it.

I'll say that the book was definitely a journey, since it's no short and easy read, and took me some time. I am grateful I brought it on my vacation since I first devoured two easy-to-read books and then only had this one for "entertainment" for the rest of the travels. I am thoroughly fascinated by neurobiology, and love reading about the mind in general, but seriously, sometimes Siegel made me doubt my interest.

The negative aspects of the writing is the endless loop of reiterating the same thoughts, over and over again. I sometimes felt like each chapter was written in isolation, and that the author simply jotted down his thoughts, without a clear plan of presentation prior to starting to write. Then, just releasing a book filled with independent chapters filled with ideas that could be boiled down to 200 pages instead of 500.

For example, using acronyms such as FACES frequently and every single time feeling the need to explain: Flexible, Adaptive, Coherent, Energised, Stable. I'm like yeah, I got it the first time. I understand the author repeats many aspects simply to imprint it in the mind of the reader, but it does get tiresome to read after a while. I prefer to rehearse important concepts myself, rather than forced rehearsal through reading the same thoughts, theories or whatever more times than I can count on two hands... Especially acronyms, but not only this, hearing that "The mind is fully embodied and relational, and regulates the flow of energy and information", for what felt like 1000 times made me go crazy almost. I understand the definition is useful, and central to the framework, and all that, but for the love of god: Define a term or concept ONCE, elaborate on it if you want to clarify it or make it more easily understandable, but please, don't force rehearsal of concepts through reiterating the same words over and over. If you mentioned it once, it's assumed knowledge going forward, and it's on ME, the reader, to make sure I can follow along. Trying to hold my hand throughout the book by restating a definition 100 times is just tiresome.

Either way, these negative aspects are what pull me all the way down to 3 stars for the book, despite it being amazingly ambitious, and thoroughly insightful and illuminating to how the mind works and develops.

I have found through this journey of reading this book that my view on the mind, and understanding of it had been transformed in major ways. The final chapter brought the succint summarization of the books central parts, and to be fair, I thought it was beautiful and made me pretty emotional. From finishing the final chapter and putting the book down I wanted to give it 5 stars, but that wouldn't be doing the past me justice, the one living in slight anguish and frustration.

To simply say that the book transformed my view of the mind wouldn't be fair without saying how. I'll give a few examples.

1. The Self as an isolated entity, is ultimately an illusion, for we are all deeply shaped by our ancestral history, the culture we grow up in, the interpersonal relationships we share. To say that the Self is a solo-Self, as the linguistic term implies is to do reality a disservice, and ultimately ourselves since we do not see our place as part of a beautiful whole, interconnected with nature, other people, our ancestry, and ultimately the future of everything by extension.
2. Mind as state-dependent, and ultimately as emotions being ever-present and the linking of various aspects of mind, the glue that creates and transforms.
3. State-dependent memory retrieval.
4. The differentiation and integration of the hemispheres. I had no idea about the differences between left-right hemispheres and how this interplays to create two modes of knowing, which can either be under or over-differentiated, and be relatively autonomous if not properly integrated. The right hemisphere is fast, and characterized by the nonverbal, timelessness, parallel processing, processing of sensations, images, being context-dependant and focused on the whole. The right hemisphere is thought to be connected with withdrawal, which makes intuitive sense considering it is fast at processing non-verbal signals, which can serve as fast indications of danger and the appropriate response of withdrawal. While the left-hemisphere is slow and characterized by the verbal, rational, time-bound and linear/sequential processing, focus of details. Left is more concerned with approach-related behavior, which makes sense with it being slow-processing, considering the potential peril.

[Lance Noel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a hard time deciding whether this should be 3 or 4 stars. A true rating of 3.5 stars I think is very warranted.

As you can see with other reviews, there are definitely parts of this book that are extremely powerful and educational. I learned a lot about interpersonal relationships, emotions, and how to apply these concepts to my parenting, which was what I was looking for. But there were definitely parts of this book that were lost on me (me being a parent with an interest in neuroscience and wanted a little more depth).

A lot of this book seems to be a debate on how to connect neuroscience to applied psychology, which I didn't really understand the context or importance of. Some times the neuroscience is glossed over assuming you are aware of it already (this may be partially a result of my amateur neuroscience interest and not a fault of the book). Other times it is insanely dense and difficult to read.

But there's also another problem with this book, in my opinion. Every now and then it shifts into non-scientific areas that I do not think add much. Siegel brings up generic notions of love, compassion, interconnectedness, as if to say "wouldn't things be better if we all loved each other?" I would have preferred a deeper dive into the neuroscience behind those concepts.

He also talks a lot about quantum mechanics, but I don't think that really helps his metaphor, and seems like a weird way to try to add credence to his theories. Overall, some really good stuff in here, but a dense, difficult read that meanders between hard science and weird tangents.

[Volo · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing synthesis of a broad set of key psychological themes; perhaps the most mature theoretical psychology book on the general features of psychological human growth I've had the fortune to read so far. As far as theory goes, which is only so far, the Developing Mind outlines and expands on what psychological health actually is. It is less a road map than a birdwatching tower on a forest hill.

At the same time, it's a peculiar book. The third edition of its kind, it revises and expands on a book which has heaped praise. The structure is idiosyncratic, frustratingly repetitive, and frankly, at times, dull and heavy. Siegel relies a lot on his own terminology, threading links to pretty much most of the interesting work done somewhere even remotely to the field clinical psychology. Due to the one-author style, it's not exactly a study book; or due to the associative leaping, an academic book; but nor is it a book I would unhesitantly recommend to a general reader without some prior interest in psychology. Why then the five stars: in the end it just is so damn validating to read lists of one's interests.

[Gregory Diehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a staunch individualist, I was somewhat skeptical of the initial premise of the book, that minds do not only consist of the inner workings of the brain and nervous system but also the relationships they form with other minds in what the author calls interpersonal neurobiology. Yet, despite not fully understanding all the neuroscience discussed, it is difficult to disagree with his conclusions about integration within minds and between them, including the nature of consciousness as an evolutionary means of differentiating between reality and representation in the mind. If logically extrapolated to the furthest degree, the conclusions of The Developing Mind have potentially vast implications for our species, ones that I think would make most people quite intimidated and uncomfortable.  

[Michael Sasson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author knows a whole lot about a whole lot. I think for someone who was appropriately curious about all the things explored here this should be a 5-star book. I just was less interested in the level of detail about the internal working of the human brain. I’m glad some people are so that theories about harm and healing are connected to collective scientific understanding of human biology (among other things) but I want to leave that part to others.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book because I wanted a better understanding of attachment theory. It turned out to be a life-changing book, as it opened my eyes to how interpersonal interactions changes minds, and lives. The book contains many concepts and clinical examples, and while those were easy to understand, the volume of material to comprehend was huge. The book felt like a fine wine - best to be savored slowly. The writing is enjoyable to read and concepts are explained thoroughly and clearly.

[Leonardo]

Neuroscientists observe that an infant’s brain is especially plastic, so that the attachment pattern may be viewed as a set of information, only partially accessible, correlated with neuronal connections.

Capabilities and Happiness p.240

[Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very dense and yet interesting take on how the mind works within itself and in relationship. It combines neurobiology and attachment theory in equal measure. Dr. Siegel uses simple language to explain very complex realities and processes and although you need to be alert to figure out the book it is accessible.

[Gary Borjesson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is rich in fascinating research and reflection. Siegel has a naturally integrative mind, which means the reader can rely on him to articulate the science clearly, and to think about its meaning and value in a therapeutic context. I've recommended his chapter on Attachment to practicing psychotherapists, for it offers a deep dive in (relatively) short compass. Highly recommended.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

The knowledge and information is dense, but worth the effort. Object relations and attachment theories explained via neurological development. In many ways this is the book I wish I could have written.

[Morten Greve · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid and comprehensive introduction to developmental psychology. At times Siegel gets a little repetitive and occasionally his writing style is quite convoluted but on the whole a fairly good read. Special emphasis on the clinical therapist-patient relationship.