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426 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 25, 2015
“She’s tall with a broad frame, and is built sort of like a female linebacker. Her artificially straightened black hair is always pulled back into a severe bun, but now that bun has mostly come unraveled.”
“If someone told me I was looking at a man’s abdomen… well, it would be surprising because men don’t usually get pregnant, but the hair pattern is consistent with that.
I’m trying really hard not to react to Marissa’s bushiness, but I guess my face gives me away. I have an awful poker face. “I was going to get waxed this weekend,” she says defensively.
“I checked her about an hour ago,” Holly says. “And it wasn’t easy. I needed a pair of hedge clippers to get in there.”
Jill laughs. “I know! It’s like the Amazon jungle or something. I thought I was going to have to page Emily to bring in a rope to rescue me when I did her exam.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Marissa. I feel incredibly sympathetic to what she’s going through right now. But man, she is really hairy right now. The Amazon jungle is a pretty accurate description. “I think I found a few new life forms in there,” I chip in. “I had to fight them off with the speculum.”
Holly dissolves into giggles. “Oh my God, as soon as I get home I am going to make an appointment to get myself waxed. There is no way I’m getting delivered with an Afro down there.”
The three of us are stifling laughter at this point. I don’t know why, but there’s something about a lot of hair that is just really, really funny. I almost don’t hear the loud muttering coming from my right side.
“This woman is seriously ill and her baby is in danger, and you’re sitting here making fun of a little bit of hair.”
“Listen,” I say as I straighten up and peel off my gloves, “if there’s anything you need… food, drink, toiletries…” I think again of the conversation this morning and add in a quiet voice: “Nair…”
“Ms. Watson is here for a repeat C-section. Not to be crass or anything, but Ms. Watson is huge. I genuinely think that this woman is the most obese woman I have ever done a C-section on.”
“When you hear crazy stories about women who don’t realize they’re pregnant until the day they deliver, it’s more believable when you see a woman like this.”
“know we have to do it, but I still have misgivings. I’m not going to march off and tell Jack Sprat about it, but maybe I can make Ms. Watson see reason.
“Are you sure you still want your tubes tied?” I ask Ms. Watson, who is chatting with the nurse about her baby on the other side of the curtain.
Dr. Buckman looks up at me sharply. It’s definitely not standard practice to question patients on their surgery right in the middle of it. “Of course I do!” Ms. Watson says, as if this is the dumbest question she’s ever heard. And it very well might be.
“I just thought,” I babble on, despite a voice in the back of my head telling me to shut the hell up, “maybe you talked to your fiancé and changed your mind. I mean, if you want to talk to him about it first…”