What do you think?
Rate this book
7-Minute Marriage Solution, The: 7 Things to Start! 7 Things to Stop! 7 Minutes That Matter Most!
Can 7 Minutes Make a Difference?
If you're thinking the 7-minute solution to a happier marriage sounds far too simplistic, even a bit crazy, we dare you to read this book. It will revolutionize your marriage!
THE THREE 7s IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Drawing from an extensive national survey of more than 1,300 men and women, best-selling author Stephen Arterburn first reveals 7 things you must stop doing that damage your marriage. Second, he presents 7 positive things you must start doing to build a great marriage. But most important: he tells you what to do if your spouse is not willing to do anything. As Arterburn explores those behaviors with real-life stories and biblical insight, you will discover fresh ideas and greater motivation to make your marriage thrive.
Finally, Arterburn reveals a final 7 that brings you to the heart of the matter! The 7 minutes that will matter most for any couple, no matter whether you're just thinking of getting married or have been together for many years. Once you get it, you'll never question the 7-minute marriage solution!
*** Includes a study guide and links in each chapter to additional online teaching videos.
If you're thinking the 7-minute solution to a happier marriage sounds far too simplistic, even a bit crazy, we dare you to read this book. It will revolutionize your marriage!
THE THREE 7s IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Drawing from an extensive national survey of more than 1,300 men and women, best-selling author Stephen Arterburn first reveals 7 things you must stop doing that damage your marriage. Second, he presents 7 positive things you must start doing to build a great marriage. But most important: he tells you what to do if your spouse is not willing to do anything. As Arterburn explores those behaviors with real-life stories and biblical insight, you will discover fresh ideas and greater motivation to make your marriage thrive.
Finally, Arterburn reveals a final 7 that brings you to the heart of the matter! The 7 minutes that will matter most for any couple, no matter whether you're just thinking of getting married or have been together for many years. Once you get it, you'll never question the 7-minute marriage solution!
*** Includes a study guide and links in each chapter to additional online teaching videos.
236 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 18, 2012
60 people are currently reading
104 people want to read
About the author
Stephen F. Arterburn
257 books154 followersStephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 22, 2013
I received this book for review from the publisher via Netgalley.
Considering that lately I primarily read Sci-Fi and Fantasy, as well as a good slathering of young adult fiction, this was a bit of a change for me. However, I am a married woman - 13 years, it is my second crack at it (marriage i mean) and while not a fan of too many self-help scenarios, I do believe in understanding the psychology of a relationship - so, why not ... I am in favour of anything that will help both of us reinforce the good things, and diminish the challenges of a modern marriage.
The book is pretty easy to read and has a lot of parable-type stories in it, to illustrate certain behaviours and modes of thinking. It is definitely focused on Christian ideals of marriage - but not to the exclusion of non-Christians. The principles of respect and fidelity should be found in any marriage, and strategies to support these fundamentals hold true, even sans a faith-based commitment.
All in all a good book with some practical advice in it. Some of it repetitive, some of it a little too soaked in dogma, but, overall, a reasonably practical guide to examining the challenges of a modern western marriage in the 21st century.
Considering that lately I primarily read Sci-Fi and Fantasy, as well as a good slathering of young adult fiction, this was a bit of a change for me. However, I am a married woman - 13 years, it is my second crack at it (marriage i mean) and while not a fan of too many self-help scenarios, I do believe in understanding the psychology of a relationship - so, why not ... I am in favour of anything that will help both of us reinforce the good things, and diminish the challenges of a modern marriage.
The book is pretty easy to read and has a lot of parable-type stories in it, to illustrate certain behaviours and modes of thinking. It is definitely focused on Christian ideals of marriage - but not to the exclusion of non-Christians. The principles of respect and fidelity should be found in any marriage, and strategies to support these fundamentals hold true, even sans a faith-based commitment.
All in all a good book with some practical advice in it. Some of it repetitive, some of it a little too soaked in dogma, but, overall, a reasonably practical guide to examining the challenges of a modern western marriage in the 21st century.
September 23, 2013
Minor point, but I think this book does George C Marshall's first wife a disservice and tells a lie. It states that a medical condition prevented her from having sex, a fact that she hid from George until marriage. This makes her sound horrible. The problem was a heart condition that made having children unwise. Childbirth would probably have killed her. So in 1901, when they were married, that would mean no intercourse. But they could do other affectionate things. What man wants to kill his wife in childbirth? So the author doesn't exactly show respect here, does he?
The chapter on respect is excellent. even if the author doesn't live by it.
There is certainly at lot of the author patting himself on the back.
The chapter on respect is excellent. even if the author doesn't live by it.
There is certainly at lot of the author patting himself on the back.
March 15, 2024
MY Joy is back to me
after a very long time which i and my ex
separated since i was alone my life change ,
every thing about me change a friend of
mine gave me an email address told me that
this was the email address she contacted
when she was in the same problem so i
contacted the email i got a reply he ask me
to send him my number so i did he was a
man call Dr Sarki . he is a spell caster he
casted a spell for me and told me that
within two day that my ex we be back for
good within that two days my ex was back,
i and my ex just got married
Dr Sarki
http://happinessgivelonglife.weebly.com
after a very long time which i and my ex
separated since i was alone my life change ,
every thing about me change a friend of
mine gave me an email address told me that
this was the email address she contacted
when she was in the same problem so i
contacted the email i got a reply he ask me
to send him my number so i did he was a
man call Dr Sarki . he is a spell caster he
casted a spell for me and told me that
within two day that my ex we be back for
good within that two days my ex was back,
i and my ex just got married
Dr Sarki
http://happinessgivelonglife.weebly.com
November 21, 2018
Another great read that helped me with my marriage. It helped me realize that my husband and I were both Alpha personalities and didn't want to compromise in situations. With Spiritual guidance and Counseling, I prayed and realized that I needed to work on me and allow him to work on him. After a few years (3 years) I realized that we were never equally Yoked and reading this book pointed that out to me. Great read!
September 3, 2020
JFC. Does my library have ANY books on marriage that aren’t Christianity-based?! This is ridiculous. All i want are some tools to try to save my marriage without hearing about god constantly.
December 30, 2014
7-Minute Marriage Solution, The: 7 Things to Start! 7 Things to Stop! 7 Minutes That Matter Most!
The book is divided into two sections, Seven Things to Stop and Seven Things to Start (pdf list). My wife and I read through this and did not watch the videos linked at the beginning of each chapter; we also did not notice the study guide at the end of the book, which takes you through two parallel chapters a session (one thing to stop, one thing to start) with discussion questions. Looking at Arterburn's website, there appears to be a host of videos with answers to commonly asked questions if you sign up.
My wife and I read through books on marriage regularly, and I think this one didn't really stand out as stellar for either of us. There are good principles that are found in most Christian books on marriage but much of the book is annoyingly repetitive. Spoiler alert: The 7-Minute aspect is not mentioned until the conclusion of the book, and it's making sure you do a (minimum) 7-minute devotional with your spouse every day. Scripture, meditation, discussion, and prayer. I'm not sure why he didn't include that at the beginning of the book, or in the chapters on what to begin doing if it's the most important thing. If you are looking for a simple book/study to do with your spouse or small group, then this one is simple enough; I'm just not sure it's worth paying much for. I'm pretty sure we would both rank put Love and Respect above this book in the recommended reading order, and I might also recommend Fun Loving You as the second half of this book focuses on proactive activities to express grace and focus on joy. Honestly, the best marriage book I read this year was the Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. That is a non-Christian look at a husband and wife trying to pursue real friendship, give up their expectations, and flesh out much of what is written in 7-Minute Marriage.
I personally appreciated the reminder in the book to "accept and celebrate the differences" between my wife and myself (p. 15). This point is reiterated in a few chapters, but it mostly relates back to "stop clinging to unrealistic expectations" (chapter 1), "stop trying to change your mate" (chapter 4), "start showing respect no matter what" (chapter 14).
Somewhat related, the most difficult advice for me was in not giving advice or pretending advice isn't criticism:
"Unsolicited advice comes from the same bag of unworkable tricks as criticism" (p. 45).
I struggle with this one because in the working world we have to do job evaluations. We need the critiques and advice of others we trust to improve our performance. I need to know if I'm doing something unacceptable or if someone thinks I could improve X by doing Y. That's more difficult in marriage, where men tend to want to "fix" problems or women entered the marriage dreaming of how they would change their mate. "When you married you stood at the altar, not the alter" (p. 44). "Rather than pray for God to change your spouse, pray that God would give you the supernatural ability to be more accepting of your spouse" (p. 49).
I enjoyed the chapter on anger. Anger is a symptom of entitlement, we get angry because the world isn't exactly as we want it. "Anger comes from having your expectations dashed, your standards violated, your wants unmet, or your desires frustrated. Your little castle of self is not to be breached" (p. 54). "The antidote to anger is humility" (p. 66). My wife and I have come to terms with working through our anger before discussing root causes and solutions later. Perhaps this book will help you do the same.
Kindness is also extremely important, as explained in the book. If you're more courteous than your overbearing boss and your annoying co-workers at work than you are with your family, then something is wrong. "As Christians we are called to treat each other with love, patience, and kindness. This call is meaningless if you treat the other with love and kindness only when you feel like it" (p. 57).
There are chapters on dealing with money and loving through past hurts, sins, and addictions. Oddly missing are points about the role of the church and the importance of support of and accountability to other Christian couples.
In all, I give this book 3 stars. Good, not great.
The book is divided into two sections, Seven Things to Stop and Seven Things to Start (pdf list). My wife and I read through this and did not watch the videos linked at the beginning of each chapter; we also did not notice the study guide at the end of the book, which takes you through two parallel chapters a session (one thing to stop, one thing to start) with discussion questions. Looking at Arterburn's website, there appears to be a host of videos with answers to commonly asked questions if you sign up.
My wife and I read through books on marriage regularly, and I think this one didn't really stand out as stellar for either of us. There are good principles that are found in most Christian books on marriage but much of the book is annoyingly repetitive. Spoiler alert: The 7-Minute aspect is not mentioned until the conclusion of the book, and it's making sure you do a (minimum) 7-minute devotional with your spouse every day. Scripture, meditation, discussion, and prayer. I'm not sure why he didn't include that at the beginning of the book, or in the chapters on what to begin doing if it's the most important thing. If you are looking for a simple book/study to do with your spouse or small group, then this one is simple enough; I'm just not sure it's worth paying much for. I'm pretty sure we would both rank put Love and Respect above this book in the recommended reading order, and I might also recommend Fun Loving You as the second half of this book focuses on proactive activities to express grace and focus on joy. Honestly, the best marriage book I read this year was the Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. That is a non-Christian look at a husband and wife trying to pursue real friendship, give up their expectations, and flesh out much of what is written in 7-Minute Marriage.
I personally appreciated the reminder in the book to "accept and celebrate the differences" between my wife and myself (p. 15). This point is reiterated in a few chapters, but it mostly relates back to "stop clinging to unrealistic expectations" (chapter 1), "stop trying to change your mate" (chapter 4), "start showing respect no matter what" (chapter 14).
Somewhat related, the most difficult advice for me was in not giving advice or pretending advice isn't criticism:
"Unsolicited advice comes from the same bag of unworkable tricks as criticism" (p. 45).
I struggle with this one because in the working world we have to do job evaluations. We need the critiques and advice of others we trust to improve our performance. I need to know if I'm doing something unacceptable or if someone thinks I could improve X by doing Y. That's more difficult in marriage, where men tend to want to "fix" problems or women entered the marriage dreaming of how they would change their mate. "When you married you stood at the altar, not the alter" (p. 44). "Rather than pray for God to change your spouse, pray that God would give you the supernatural ability to be more accepting of your spouse" (p. 49).
I enjoyed the chapter on anger. Anger is a symptom of entitlement, we get angry because the world isn't exactly as we want it. "Anger comes from having your expectations dashed, your standards violated, your wants unmet, or your desires frustrated. Your little castle of self is not to be breached" (p. 54). "The antidote to anger is humility" (p. 66). My wife and I have come to terms with working through our anger before discussing root causes and solutions later. Perhaps this book will help you do the same.
Kindness is also extremely important, as explained in the book. If you're more courteous than your overbearing boss and your annoying co-workers at work than you are with your family, then something is wrong. "As Christians we are called to treat each other with love, patience, and kindness. This call is meaningless if you treat the other with love and kindness only when you feel like it" (p. 57).
There are chapters on dealing with money and loving through past hurts, sins, and addictions. Oddly missing are points about the role of the church and the importance of support of and accountability to other Christian couples.
In all, I give this book 3 stars. Good, not great.
did-not-finish
May 16, 2013I received this book for review from the publisher via Netgalley.
Considering that I primarily read Young Adult Fiction, the fact that I requested an Adult Nonfiction book from Netgalley may seem a little strange. However, I like to read all sorts of things, and I am a married woman. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, and we have our ups and downs. We are not on the brink of divorce, but we are also certainly not perfect. I thought that The 7-Minute Marriage Solution sounded like a good read, something that would help make our marriage better and stronger, and I went into it with high expectations.
Unfortunately, it just wasn’t the book for me. First, the blurb on the front talks about “Scientific Research”, but I felt a lot of it came from Christianity. I do believe in God, and I would technically classify myself as a Christian (I guess), but I’m not very religious, and even if I were, I didn’t go into this book looking for or expecting a highly Christian approach.
I will admit that I only made it to 33%. I didn’t even finish the section on 7 Behaviors to Stop. Okay, so at 224 pages, 33% is approximately 75 pages. That’s not much for the most part, but I felt like it dragged. I kept reading sections over and over and was just confused. Most importantly, I felt like what I did read didn’t deliver on its promises. For example, one of the 7 behaviors to stop is having unrealistic expectations of your partner. I don’t know about you, but for me, this was a no-brainer. Obviously, having unrealistic expectations is not healthy for your relationship. However, I didn’t feel like Arterburn gave any solid advice on how to do some of the things he was suggesting. When things are easier said than done, they don’t really help.
I didn’t hate The 7-Minute Marriage Solution, and in fact, I may go back and skim certain sections if I feel they apply to me or my marriage, but it just wasn’t a book that I could sit down and read cover-to-cover.
Considering that I primarily read Young Adult Fiction, the fact that I requested an Adult Nonfiction book from Netgalley may seem a little strange. However, I like to read all sorts of things, and I am a married woman. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, and we have our ups and downs. We are not on the brink of divorce, but we are also certainly not perfect. I thought that The 7-Minute Marriage Solution sounded like a good read, something that would help make our marriage better and stronger, and I went into it with high expectations.
Unfortunately, it just wasn’t the book for me. First, the blurb on the front talks about “Scientific Research”, but I felt a lot of it came from Christianity. I do believe in God, and I would technically classify myself as a Christian (I guess), but I’m not very religious, and even if I were, I didn’t go into this book looking for or expecting a highly Christian approach.
I will admit that I only made it to 33%. I didn’t even finish the section on 7 Behaviors to Stop. Okay, so at 224 pages, 33% is approximately 75 pages. That’s not much for the most part, but I felt like it dragged. I kept reading sections over and over and was just confused. Most importantly, I felt like what I did read didn’t deliver on its promises. For example, one of the 7 behaviors to stop is having unrealistic expectations of your partner. I don’t know about you, but for me, this was a no-brainer. Obviously, having unrealistic expectations is not healthy for your relationship. However, I didn’t feel like Arterburn gave any solid advice on how to do some of the things he was suggesting. When things are easier said than done, they don’t really help.
I didn’t hate The 7-Minute Marriage Solution, and in fact, I may go back and skim certain sections if I feel they apply to me or my marriage, but it just wasn’t a book that I could sit down and read cover-to-cover.
December 31, 2014
This book would be good for newlyweds who are still getting their feet under them, since it presents things in a clear and simple way. However, since my husband and I have been married for 10 years and have read a lot of marriage books together, there was nothing new in this for us, and it was honestly hard to finish because it felt like a waste of time. I did not like the way the book was organized, leaving the "most important" part until the very last chapter and making it feel like a sales pitch for their own products. So in general I felt like this book presented the truth in a way that was easy to understand - there was very little I completely disagreed with. However, it left a lot out, and I would only recommend it as a beginner's manual.
June 24, 2013
I liked it, good advice for all married couples.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews