Men Are Better Than Women

by Dick Masterson

Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 8, 2008

About the author

Self proclaimed chauvinist became famous after a appearance on the Dr. Phil show.

Currently he is raising money for a "men are better than women" billboard

Reviews

[emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

written by a man named dick thus one star

[✨sofia✨ · Rating 1 out of 5]

lmao ur name might be dick but you obviously have nothing to show for it

(no I actually didn’t read this…women can’t read right?)

[khadeja · Rating 1 out of 5]

TW‼️ pedophilia and beastiality

"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦? 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘳."

………… 🧍‍♀️

𝟰 𝗠𝗲𝗻 𝗚𝗮𝗻𝗴-𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗱, 𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗔𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝘇𝗮𝗿𝗱 - vice.com

𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻 𝗠𝗮𝗻 𝗖𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝟱𝟴 𝗧𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝘆𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗢𝗳 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗧𝗼 𝟯𝟱 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 - cbs news

𝗠𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 '𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗱' 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗜 𝗷𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱 - bbc news

𝗠𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗲𝘅 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝘁𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗿𝗺 - southwestfarmer.co.uk

“𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝗱’𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗸𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘄𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘆’𝘀 𝘃𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮.” - peta.org

𝗣𝘂𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝟱 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻 - usatoday.com

𝗠𝗮𝗻 𝗖𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗗𝗼𝗴𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗵𝗶, 𝗔𝗿𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 - ndtv.com

"𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥, 𝘐 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘴."

and i mean, dont be so quick to say that all men hate cats. you never know ;)

“𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙏𝙪𝙗𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙚 𝘿𝙖𝙬𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝘿𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝘼𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙖𝙩.”

FULL FULL REVIEW TO COME

[niyya نية · Rating 1 out of 5]

Of course his name is Dick. Short for Dickhead, I assume?

[Danielle]

I wasn't able to actually read this book due to my tiny lady-brain, but I enjoyed staring at the words with the hopes of gleaning even the smallest amount of man-spiration. Plus, carrying around this book sent a clear message to those around me and infused me with a sense of superiority over others of my kind. Thanks, Dick!

[Sha · Rating 1 out of 5]

//has a headache because the term "satire" has been abused to hell and back

THIS IS NOT SATIRE.

This is another one of those godawful "hey I can use humor to say anything I want without considering the long-term effects this in the minds of a population eager to take my words literally" things.

The author is either deliberately trolling his supposedly intended audience or has no earthly idea how counterproductive a 'parody' like this can be. Either way, I have that fucking headache.

Edit: 17 Jan 2022

1. I had the misfortune of coming across this book again and glancing through it again because I remembered being really irritated and wondered if I was overreacting. I am pleased (or is it displeased?) to report that no, I was not overreacting. It really is that bad. Arguably worse, since dog whistle politics have been on the rise and this is somehow even more aggressively infuriating than it was the last time I saw it.

2. I will admit that the sheer ridiculousness is sometimes funny, but it's nowhere near funny enough to counter the genuinely harmful implications. Neither is he deft enough to punch up while seeming to punch down- what you see is what you get.

3. What you get is also many slimy creatures coming out of the woodwork going "this is all true, but most people are just too wimpy to admit it" in the reviews. Which just goes to show that Mr. Dick has failed as a satirist but succeeded as an asshole. I hope for his sake that the assholery was the aim, but I'm honestly beyond caring at this point.

[em ✧ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn’t read this book, I just felt like giving it 1 star for funsies 😍 have a terrible day Dick 🙂

[sofi🎀🧸 billie eilish’s version~winter vibes🧸 · Rating 1 out of 5]

women are better because we manage to survive and not go insane in a world where there are books like this published and it doesnt have super low ratings.

how does gender affect superiority? i think it would make women better since we make children but what do i know im just a “stupid girl with a tiny brain”.

[soph ₊˚ෆ (semi-ia) 🍉 · Rating 1 out of 5]

boo, hiss, bleh, kill-it-with-fire, do-not-pass-go type shit 💔

rtc once i'm done bleaching my eyeballs because wtaf 🥀 i'm really trying to remember this is satire and view it as such, but i'm having a hard time sticking my head that far up my ass. would not recommend reading unless your doctor is urging you to increase your blood pressure, full review to come <3

[Sophia · Rating 1 out of 5]

id give this -infinity stars if i could.

let me just explain to those who do not understand. this is not satire. the moment this book was published, even written it stooped being satire. probably never was.

for 260 pages, dick, the author, just rants about why men are better than woman etc etc for no other reason except 'I said so'. a very dick move. pun intended.

i am angry, for very obvious reasons. ok so people can think what they want. you can't just publish a book about those thoughts if it discriminates basically half the population.

once again, before i go back to screaming in rage, THIS IS NOT SATIRE.

thank you.

[Saranya ⋆☕︎ ˖ [hibernating] · Rating 1 out of 5]

Okay.
So I am never going to read this book. EVER!

Just look at the title of the book. And then look at the author's name!- D***

I have no clue how could anyone write a book titled this and how could anyone publish this!
MISOGYNISTIC DUMBO!

(-infinity/10)

[bookgirlyyy · Rating 1 out of 5]

mr. dick needs to get a reality check bc this chick is just a pick me who can't even stick to morals and is very very sick

(Yes I did try to make that rhyme)

[Liv {Semi ia⋅˚୨୧} · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rating this in hopes the rating goes down 👏 wdym a book written by dick has an average of 3 stars?

I think he wrote this book about all of dude kind’s insecurities. Including their lack of literacy. Go get a therapist dick deal with your issues. You aren’t funny. I pity the woman who birthed you. Have an AWFUL day 🙂

[Brittany · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book I've read. Regrettably. It's one of two books that made me question my dedication to finishing every book I've started.

Apparently this book is satirical. Satire of what, I'm not exactly sure.

There's that saying - "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." So even supposing this book is satirical, when looking for a pdf of this book, the top post was to a MGTOW post with a comment that "Any book that goes against gynocentrism and feminism with the purpose of empowering men qualifies [as MGTOW material]" and upon reading the profiles of some people here who gave the book five stars, I found one individual who liked some quotes from Anders Breivik, which tells me everything I need to know about whom this type of book appeals to, while simultaneously highlighting the dangers of saying hateful shit and cowering behind the idea of "It's just a joke".

But props to the one chapter titled "WOMEN: ARE THEY SMARTER THAN HORSES?" because I legitimately could not come up with something as asinine as that if I tried.

[⭑&#x13083; mia [semi-hiatus] · Rating 1 out of 5]

so i read through most of the reviews. what a shitty place this world has become. and men still wonder why we choose the bear?

[Dreamcatcher (HIATUS) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Given that the author name is Dick Masterson, this is clearly meant to be satire. The thing is, this is a rather pathetic attempt at satire.

I don't think the author knows what satire actually means. This was pointless, did not provide any social commentary, did not criticise anything, and it sure as hell wasn't humorous. You can't write whatever you want and hide behind the label of satire hoping that people don't call you out. Satire when written well is golden, but it is the easiest genre to mess up.

200 pages of pure misogyny and writing devoid of any substance. That's all this is. It's not even bad satire, it's just incoherent ramblings. Can't believe I suffered overnight just to read it and see what's so witty inside that is worth the five stars reviews.

[Lily · Rating 1 out of 5]

A soporific force-fed to us by a toothless grandpa inebriated with too much sherry, fraught with frustration - and insecurity. Otherwise why does Mr. Dick M have to dazzle us with the name of Mr. Cage before we even begin to read the book? Is he telling us that his words and opinions are worthless without their having been read by a celebrity? And take heed. It was READ by Mr. C; it does NOT say he LIKED it.

Oh no, I'm not being personal. Everyone is entitled to his opinions, even if I do not agree with Mr.D's. I'm here solely to comment on his work.

It's banal to "man"nipulate the English language by prefixing every word with "man". That's just "man"gling it. See? There are words that start with "man" naturally, all by their little selves. And I suppose "The Style of the Never-Ending Appendix" is meant to make the whole thing look like a political manifesto. Alas. Without substance, it is only never-ending, period. A senseless grumble without even the merit of being venomous, which I surmise is what Mr.D aspires to.

Mr.Max Tucker has no affection for women either, but at least his book is nothing like Mr.D's self-congratulatory squawk in the ear. There is form and function, and he shows us faces and places, to keep us from falling asleep. Surprise! They do that in books? Under the deluded dream he's articulate and dynamic, Mr,D repetitively drones on the same subject with as many paltry ideas as he can gather. Not many, apparently. But Mr. D did make one grand achievement. He succeeded in droning a squawk.

[JHHK JHHK · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've exchanged quite a few emails with Dick (our books share the same demo and sell together) and I can tell you he's a stand up guy. There's a huge difference between the man and the author/character he role-plays. That said, M>W is not for everyone, and reads best if you keep your frame of reference in check. But if you like brutal satire, give it a chance...

[Churro &#x1fab7; · Rating 1 out of 5]

What would your mom say? Because you wouldn’t be here without her so…

[gia · Rating 1 out of 5]

── 0 stars ✶

⋆. ̊ i know what you are
every man enjoying this book is most definitely homosexual. not that thats a bad thing, but they are only finding joy in this book as it makes them feel superior to the women who have deprived them of attention and love, and have therefore, turned to men for the affection they lack. 'you are what you love' so i guess dick is really living up to his name. i think we are throwing the term 'satire' around too much and it has lost its meaning. its like saying 'i have dark humor its just a joke!' that literally tells me you like to make racist, sexist, misogynistic and/or homophobic jokes and not get in trouble 💔 it isnt satire when it becomes genuinely offensive what is wrong with yall. keep rating this 1 star so the rating goes down! i may also just be a hater 😼 in the wise words of sandra bullock, his ego is THIS BIG and his package is this big #staywoke


(please let this gif work 🙏)

[Victor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book obviously shouldn't be taken seriously.(specialy the women). But this book made me laugh so hard that I almost choked on a piece of tortilla I was eating while reading this book in the toilet. It is mysoginstic, sexist and hilarious...just how I like my books. And, truthfully...some of the things he says are true. Sorry ladies. truth hurts. Doesn't it?

[audrey (completely gone rn) · Rating 1 out of 5]

"exhaustive man research" like what, staring at yourself and your dick (pun intended) in the mirror and thinking about how manly you are?

[ophelia ⋆˚࿔ · Rating 1 out of 5]

His name being dick is very fitting

(And no I did not and never will read this)

[Paul · Rating 1 out of 5]

A terrible read. I thought it might be mildly humorous, but no, its a 253 page rant on why he hates women. Yes I know it's intended as satire, I get that, but its still (at least to me) not that funny. The book just goes on and on, rant after rant, I seriously struggled to finish it.

[Hannah Hurt · Rating 1 out of 5]

haven’t read it but i think this speaks for itself

[emerson౨ৎ ( matching pfp with gems and cortlan! ) · Rating 1 out of 5]

i’m a hater🥰 leave the women alone ik ur writing this js to feel okay about ur name, but hunny. go to heck women run the world

[JJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Factual.

[ೃ࿔ amarah •new bio•༄ · Rating 1 out of 5]

-1 ⭐️

haven’t read it. never plan too. like, fucking ever

TELL ME WHY A BOOK LIKE THIS GETS PUBLISHED. like genuinely 😧🫩

nah those who gave this anything above 1 star can go to hell. hope you have all female children.

girls rule, boys drool, or some shit like that. GENDER EQUALITY WHOO 💃

buh bye twins ✌🏽

(edit: i read the five stars review and i get that this books is supposed to be satire or smth, but that doesn’t make it right AT ALL. also apparently the dick who wrote this book [see what i did there 😉] is raising money for a billboard for this book… this world is so fucking weird man 🤦🏽‍♀️)

[ash ³³ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ]

nightwing i'm sorry he's disrespecting your name like that dude 🥀🥺 dick grayson would NEVER

[McKenzie (taken&#x1f92d;) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Haven’t read it but ummm… no