Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs: A Woman's Guide to Beauty Through Plastic Surgery

by Joan Rivers, Valerie Frankel

Red-carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar Joan Rivers is uniquely qualified to talk about plastic surgery -- because she's one of the few celebrities unafraid to admit to the world what she's "had done" to keep looking so great. Now, in this no-holds-barred book, she gives women straight-talking advice on better living through looking better.

Joan Rivers' abiding life philosophy is simple: in the appearance-centric society of the twenty-first century, beauty is key -- especially where men are concerned. Men like pretty women. And so, getting something lifted, tightened, adjusted, or removed is as fundamental as wearing makeup or using hair conditioner; it's become something we do to make ourselves look better. Now, for any woman considering her options, Joan Rivers takes the mystery out of cosmetic surgery with a practical overview, aided and informed by the country's top plastic surgeons, of almost every single cosmetic procedure legally performed in America today. She takes readers step-by-step through these entire processes, from fi nding the right doctor to the bruising truth about recovery and the facts about cosmetic surgery's very real risks.

But don't worry -- there's dish, too. Filled with Rivers' personal anecdotes about life under the knife, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs is also rife with Hollywood gossip about who's done what and how often. Part comic musing, part bitch-fest, and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman's right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of all to be happy -- not only with who she is, but who she wants to be. Throughout the book, Joan Rivers is right there, guiding and encouraging with no apologies, no excuses, and absolutely no shame. Take it from the woman who enjoys having it all -- done.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Biography, Comedy, Audiobook, Memoir

316 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Joan Rivers (born Joan Sandra Molinsky) was an American comedian, actress, talk show host, businesswoman, and celebrity. She was known for her brash manner and loud, raspy voice with a heavy metropolitan New York accent. Rivers was the National Chairwoman of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and is a board member of God's Love We Deliver. Like the ground-breaking Phyllis Diller, Rivers' act relied heavily on poking fun at herself. A typical Rivers joke about her unattractiveness: "I used to stand by the side of the road with a sign: 'Last girl before freeway.'"

Reviews

[Jane Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

For Joan Rivers, plastic surgery is revenge.

In one of the best documentaries of 2010, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, we’re given access to a woman who seems to say, “I need you to love me, but I hate you for my neediness.” It makes her compelling and repelling, although it doesn’t explain how she can call her daughter the C-word in a joke.

Perhaps the answer is in her book, Men Are Stupid…And They Lke Big Boobs. Unfortunately, the library’s only copy came with LARGE PRINT, so my eyes dilated the entire time I skimmed the book, and not just while reading about boob job complications.

Having worked in a plastic surgeon’s office, I found Joan’s medical info to be accurate. The only thing I would add is that it is nearly impossible to find a good plastic surgeon. They all have weaknesses, and they aren’t going to tell you what they are. Those glowing Yelp reviews are probably written by their staff (duh) and spouse. It takes 10,000 hours to be good at something, but they may have done that lipo procedure only 10 times.

Anyway, there was no Joan in the book, and that points out her life’s mission: She wants to be needed, to be an instructional guide on how to say what you really think, and look how you really should have been naturally. By exposing all of her falsenss, Joan absolves her guilt and can live extravagantly, but she can’t help herself – she’s riddled with anger at every injustice and stupidity. Like men and their obsession for boobs.

Joan is mistaken. Living well is not the best revenge; living happy is. And when she’s with her daughter in the movie, there’s little happiness. An anger rises off Joan that her daughter is smoking and not preserving her looks, and all of Joan’s hard work might have been a waste. Just like her marriage to Edgar, the man who committed suicide and left her with debts. Just like her play that wasn’t a hit, and her sterile acting career. All that effort, for what…..it’s not just men who are stupid.

[Terri Palermo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not one for plastic surgery really....heck, I don't even wear makeup. I'm kind of a "what you see is what you get" kinda girl. This book really surprised me. I was never a fan of Joan Rivers but I gotta say I really like the way she put this book together. Under a very funny layer of humor is some straight-forward, serious advice and facts about every kind of plastic surgery available. An interesting and illuminating read even for those who would never consider plastic surgery.

[Anna Kļaviņa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I blame my boyfriend who looks for the worst nonfiction books he can find and brings them home. That's his hobby- to read bad books. And that's the reason why I ended reading this book.

I don't know who is this woman and because of that I'm not her fan or hater.

In this book Rivers tells about her plastic surgeries and makes excuses why she has done it but mostly she gives advices about plastic surgeries. I don't think it is a shameful thing to consider/do a plastic surgery, but ,honey, don't blame men and don't tell me that Rivers or any other person that has too much plastic surgeries looks great, because that's rubbish!


Here is a link http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/... that first come up when I googled plastic surgeries gone wrong. And these are only pictures of celebrities (Rivers included) whose operations are not gone terribly wrong they are not left disabled, disfigured or dead.

Rivers ties to be funny in this book however to me she sounds as a bitter woman who has a low self esteem and that makes this book depressing.

In my opinion, Rivers is a victim of our society that is afraid to age and demands, especially, from the women to look "perfect". However it doesn't excuse her of being sexist and narrow minded.

The only good thing, is that I learned from this book, that the most important is how the person feels about themselves if they don't like themselves even 700+ cosmetic surgeries wouldn't be able to make the person happy.

[BiblioGrrl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, ascerbic, smart. She holds no punches. Joan Rivers, we need more of you!

[Christine · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you're curious to what Joan's had done--how many times--and when--then her primer on plastic surgery is for you. Also, if you'd like to convince someone NOT to go under the knife, she provides good reasons not to do so, as well as gruesome descriptions of all the gory details. Wonder what some of your favorite stars had done? Find it on these pages. Since I found this book at the thrift store, my curiosity about Joan was satisfied for a small price!

[Amy the book-bat · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you want to learn more about plastic surgery, this book id for you. If you are looking for humor, there is some, but it is plastic surgery related. Interesting, but sometimes repetitive

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Co-written with a cosmetic surgeon, this book should be the Bible for anyone considering professional assistance in looking better or younger. This is NOT limited to plastic surgery but covers peels, lasers, injectables and other appearance enhancers.

The book is divided into body sections and then discusses the least radical fix, moving to the most radical. The standard format - what the procedure is for, how much it will cost, etc., - is very easy to follow. I particularly appreciate the sections that tell you how much it will hurt.

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was just going to be jokes but I actually learned a lot about plastic surgery. How weird!

[Rubay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never thought physical beauty can bypass inner beauty for a few. Indeed, looking at the size of the market, we need to ask ourselves a question - Do we really need to go under the knife to enjoy our lives? Well, certainly not. While the book nicely outlines the physiological reasons behind women's decision to go under the knife, interestingly men are not left behind when it comes to plastic surgery.

I have personally seen people in their early '30s and 40's opting for nose jobs, permanent hair removal, hair transplantations, and many more.

While I strongly believe the decision depends on individuals and I do respect their decisions, one needs to understand there may be long-term side effects apart from huge financial investments. Some of the surgeries need special attention even after years and most of them have a shelf life.
Just go through the trusted journals and take an informed decision if you are really keen to experiment with plastics. Incase you need more information, here are few -

1. https://www.healthline.com/health/mos...
2. https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medica...
3. https://www.beautyglimpse.com/olga-ba...
4. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/healt...

[Dawson Cole]

LISTEN.
at the library the other day I was in the religion section looking for a book about the question of Hell. for some reason that can only be explained as divine intervention, this book was placed directly next to it. I had no choice but to check it out too.
it is the truest expression of camp I have ever encountered in my entire life. I kept expecting it to be a joke, but it's not! This is an unironic survival guide to the dos-and-donts of plastic surgery, and it is a treasure.
please get this book and read it out loud to your friends. I promise you will laugh so hard that your stomach will burn.

[Mikki Paterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved every page. Ms Rivers is possibly the best comic the world has seen... Factual too, great research and advice. I also share her "no filter, foot in mouth" , humour. Miss you, Ms River's ❤️

Ms Rivers is possibly the best comic the world has seen... Factual too, great research and advice. I also share her "no filter, foot in mouth" , humour. Miss you, Ms River's ❤️

[Albina228]

Plastic surgery is a useful thing if you want to have a beautiful body and look great. My friend did certain procedures for herself, and I can say that the result was simply stunning. The experts at victoriakliniken make your body look like a Greek god.

[Jenelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Loved Joan Rivers humor, but I can't hardly believe she went through all those surgeries...Big NO NO for me. The book was very edifying and convinced me "I would rather just be me". God Rest Her Soul, such a tragedy and loss, there is not enough laughter in this world, she gave much.

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finally got around to reading this. Joan has her classic funny lines, but sad to read about her experiences with cosmetic surgeries after losing her.

[Emma Stevens · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting and kinda funny. I didn't know anything about plastic surgery, kinda cool to hear how the procedures are done. I wouldn't necessarily suggest it though.

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected. It’s really a cosmetic surgery guidebook but she’s still funny and you learn some stuff!

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't remember if I liked this.

[Sarah Hoppes · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got this book on kindle because "Enter Talking" wasn't available. It had a different cover, so I had no clue it's basically a plastic surgery how-to.

I hated this book so much, but I read the whole thing anyway. It's broken into the different parts of the body you could have surgically altered, with all the reasons you would want to do so (mostly to land a man, and because no one takes ugly women seriously), and all the grisly detail on how the operations are done.

There is zero acknowledgement that plastic surgery isn't for everyone, or even that her fascination with plastic surgery might have gone a bit too far.

If you're considering going under the knife, this is actually a good resource. She tells you everything (more than I ever wanted to know!) about plastic surgery: how it's done, how long each procedure lasts, what it costs, recovery time, and how to vet potential doctors before making a selection.

Even though I HATED the message behind it, I still have to admit Joan has a great sense of rhythm and snappy word choice. Case in point: "You could be the first woman astronaut, a professor at Harvard, a mother of ten, or the czarina of good deeds for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, but visible acne scars, broken capillaries, age spots, and blemishes will make you look like a syphilitic prostitute from pre-revolution Paris."

If you're thinking of reading this book because you appreciate Joan Rivers as the comedy pioneer she was, you'd be much better of just watching "Piece of Work" and skipping this book altogether.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up in a used book store because I saw Joan Rivers and thought it would be good for a laugh. After getting home I realized it was about plastic surgery which didn't really interest me so it's been sitting on a shelf for ages. I have to say I'm glad I decided to finally read it. It has all of Rivers' trademark humor and talked about types of plastic surgery that I didn't even know existed. I found it interesting. More than just humor, it appears to be really well-researched and for people considering plastic surgery I think it could be helpful even if it is a few years old. She goes in to great detail in some of the procedures so it isn't for the queasy...or you can just skip those parts. Also, it is Joan Rivers so it's not politically correct. People are made fun of and there's lots of talk about issues relating to sex - the name of the book should make that pretty obvious.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Different from what I expected...I thought it was going to be a ride of constant laughs. Aside from the typical snarky joke from Joan, it was basically an encyclopedia for plastic surgery options. I am not interested in having plastic surgery done, but I found myself enlightened when learning about all of the procedures, methods, and even the botched jobs done on celebs. Joan has such a delicate way of sharing that last bit with you. Ha! I never knew how many ways you can get a butt lift or face lift! There were some very funny parts like the butt, boob, and vagina theories. So even though I am not into plastic surgery, I hereby declare myself a plastic surgery guru after listening to this one. Go figure!

[Stefanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this audiobook from the library because in the wake of Joan Rivers's death, I wanted to hear her voice. I'm probably the least likely person ever to have plastic surgery because (sorry world!) I really don't care enough about my appearance to ever go under the knife, get injected with things, etc. The book is certainly filled with candid and in-depth (no pun intended) information about plastic surgery, and I learned a lot. Rivers does not hold back on the detail, although she is encouraging. It's eerie to hear her say, over and over again, that a possible result of surgery (i.e., the kinds of procedures involving general anesthesia) could be death.

[Ms. Tongate, TLC Librarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed hearing Joan's voice as I read. I'm not going to be doing any of the surgeries on a teacher budget, but now I'm more informed and sick to my stomach! Who knew some of these procedures even existed! No wonder my friends in CA look different from folks in Burnside, Ky! If you ever decide to go under the knife, read this book.

"I'll say it 50 times: from cars to shoes to surgeons, you get what you pay for. If you go for the bargain, you might have to have a 2nd or 3rd surgery to fix the original mistakes, and that could cost more than if you paid the higher sum in the first place."

No moisture=dryness
Dryness=wrinkles

[Andie Treitschke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is awesome. I do not know why people hate it. If you want to know more about plastic surgery it's the way to go..everything said by the person who had many many many procedures. Of course it's not a medical guide. It does not force you to have any kind of surgeries. Hey! it even says it's sometimes dangerous and risky to your life if performed incorrectly or by someone who should treat your uterus not the face... all with typical JR humour .. I really enjoyed it few years ago ... 5/5

[Steven Milian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this on audio and would listen to Joan read anything. Unfortunately I didn't realize this was truly about detailed advice and info about plastic surgery options and surgeries. It's well written and very informative, very descriptive. So not my cup of tea but I enjoyed Joan reading it to me. I would not have read it in book form tho.

[georgia · Rating 2 out of 5]

2009 304 pages

a primer for anyone wanting anything done to them self with directions for doctor questions, costs, and a variety of ways to make the change happen. She does have some humor, mainly at her self, names names of people who have plastic enhancements and pokes fun at everyone. 2 -1/2 actually.

not into plastic surgery as detailed as this book was

[Connie Pollock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was hoping for more humor. Didn't expect it to be informative? Wow, makes a person go ick, ick, ick about what goes on with plastic surgery. I think I'll stick to my old lady face lotions! Sort of eery reading about Joan suggesting that people research their doctors in light of what's happened. Oh, Joan, how I miss you, you crazy old bat :(

[Jasmine Langdon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not an advocate of plastic surgery so this book took me over 2 months to read. I liked it nevertheless. Joan Rivers makes it a funny and informative read.

I'm still never getting surgery! Joan talks about non surgical procedures too.

It's very descriptive.

The things we do for men! Oh ok for ourselves too!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

i picked this up because i liked the title, and i like valerie frankel who co-wrote it, but i really have no interest in plastic surgery (at least presently) but if you do, this is informative. it's also funny and truthful and gives you all kinds of options if you like knives!

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was truly about the different plastic surgeries and how it’s done. It was darn funny AND informative. Only Joan Rivers could make a topic like this interesting and amusing. She did it so well I started thinking what I’d fix. That is if had I the money.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joan had me laughing loudly thru the whole book. If I ever wanted plastic surgery this book would tell me everything I needed to know. She is so honest & thorough with all of the details. The good,the bad and the ugly.