Well, so much for the ridiculous silliness Van Lente used in Marvel Zombies 3! In place of that, we get a convoluted story during which I was trying desperately to understand anything. So, after Marvel Zombies 3, Zombie Deadpool's head disappeared with some Marvel Universe zombie named Simon Garth. I don't remember this being mentioned in Marvel Zombies 3 (which I read two days ago), so the setup from the outset was hard to grasp. Also, there are straight-up no built-in goals for any character. Deadpool and Garth and just walking around. They have no purpose. Then a team of monsters, led by Morbius the Living Vampire, set out to track them down. So, their goal is to find some aimless zombies that are not doing anything. Good start.
Once the "story" starts to progress, I just kind of had to turn my brain off. Van Lente jumps from scene to scene with no rhyme or reason. Characters just show up in new places and stuff happens without explanation. Even though there is no indication of how Morbius's team is tracking the zombies, they still manage to find them repeatedly. The Hood shows up and does some extremely out-of-character stuff that his team even blatantly says is out-of-character, but he's just like "Forget about it." There's some insane plot development where the zombie virus turns into a cloud? And then that cloud sometimes kills people, sometimes just turns them into zombies, and sometimes creates new super zombies? It can seemingly do anything. I felt drunk the entire time I was reading this, like I was missing something my brain just couldn't process, but I think Van Lente just forgot to explain anything that was going on. It's kind of important in a story to give context and stakes, and this bullshit just doesn't have any of that.
Somehow the good guys win and that's that. I don't even really understand what they did to win, this thing is so all over the place. Ugh, it's making me frustrated even thinking about it.
Finish this off with the absolute dumbest zombie story I've ever read, included as a "bonus" to explain the origin of the Simon Garth "character" (he's just a lifeless zombie). Written by Stan Lee and Steve Gerber in 1973, this thing feels so dated it's actually a little upsetting. It's a little racist (a scheming conniver is named "Gyps"), it's super duper sexist (women are idiots who just want to take their clothes off and can only function if men tell them what to do), and to top it all off, it's WAY BORING. I don't think Gerber or Lee even tried to write a story here. A horrible asshole gets murdered, then resurrected by his voodoo secretary who is secretly in love with him (sure). He rises from the grave, fully decomposed (he died moments ago), and is now a zombie who has to do the bidding of anyone who holds a sacred amulet. Only, he constantly defies the people who have the amulet, so they ignore their own setup within seconds of creating it? Then he just kind of wanders around and encounters/kills people we are led to believe are terrible (mostly due to the fact that they all scream at their wives or something).
Only, that doesn't even really hold up? There's a hunter, who's shown to be abusive to his dogs. He's a miserable old shit and keeps yelling at them (yelling is the way people are shown to be bad here, exclusively). So, he sicks them on the zombie when it shows up, but the zombie just kills the dogs? And this is presented as if it is a moral lesson? What? This would be like teaching a sweatshop worker to appreciate his employees more by killing a bunch of them. Idiotic.
Anyway, I hated this entire thing and will be throwing it into the garbage as hard as I can.