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Accidental Hitman: Laugh out loud comedy thriller
"The first person I ever killed was my best friend..."
Tom White is an unassuming guy with a crappy job and no prospects to speak of. When his neighbour starts throwing parties at all hours Tom - who’s no fan of confrontation - takes a different route entirely. He commits murder.
But Tom's no criminal mastermind and his dark actions hurl him into an underworld in which he learns that he is rather good at his new found talent but totally out of his depth. Flying by the seat of his pants, Tom muddles his way through his new career, balancing the needs of his underworld bosses, his unknowing girlfriend and his knowing-too-much best friend who shares Tom’s macabre moral compass.
Added into the mix are Tom’s new associates - two scary gangsters who could have walked straight off the set of a Guy Ritchie film, and the mysterious and impossibly sexy Stephanie, who is hiding more than her drop-dead smile reveals.
Accidental Hitman is as heavy on humour as it is on thrills. Generous doses of laugh out loud comedy usher in the storyline which takes on a life – or perhaps death - of its own. As the corpses start to mount and two rival police forces aim to spoil Tom’s game of murder by numbers, it all gets a bit more serious.
Praise for Accidental
This is a selection of the unsolicited tweets the author was delighted to receive from total @garethtorri hey mate just finished accidental hitman! Awesome book! Couldn’t put it down! Just wanted to let u know! Well done
@sirjs hi. Just finished reading your book. Couldn’t put it down—it was that good!
@timscholesjones Just finished accidental hitman. Couldn't put it down. Can see it being a blockbuster. Maybe a mix of snatch and fight club.
@BirleySmash just finished Accidental Hitman. Fantastic book, really well written and I laughed out loud on the tube a few times. 10/10 thanks
@madbrad84 Just finished your book "the accidental hit man". A fantastic read and had me gripped and belly laughing as well. Great work!
@scottbootland Just finished reading accidental hitman and I loved it. now I'll actually have to do some work during the day instead of reading!
@drewjayjohnson I've just finished reading Accidental Hitman and it's become my new favourite book. Currently on Apocalypse Soup Kitchen!
@wossiejossie just finished Accidental Hitman, I really enjoyed it. Really liked Tom, reminded me of someone I know. 10/10
@stephen_beck I had finished your book today, well done you it was fantastic!
Tom White is an unassuming guy with a crappy job and no prospects to speak of. When his neighbour starts throwing parties at all hours Tom - who’s no fan of confrontation - takes a different route entirely. He commits murder.
But Tom's no criminal mastermind and his dark actions hurl him into an underworld in which he learns that he is rather good at his new found talent but totally out of his depth. Flying by the seat of his pants, Tom muddles his way through his new career, balancing the needs of his underworld bosses, his unknowing girlfriend and his knowing-too-much best friend who shares Tom’s macabre moral compass.
Added into the mix are Tom’s new associates - two scary gangsters who could have walked straight off the set of a Guy Ritchie film, and the mysterious and impossibly sexy Stephanie, who is hiding more than her drop-dead smile reveals.
Accidental Hitman is as heavy on humour as it is on thrills. Generous doses of laugh out loud comedy usher in the storyline which takes on a life – or perhaps death - of its own. As the corpses start to mount and two rival police forces aim to spoil Tom’s game of murder by numbers, it all gets a bit more serious.
Praise for Accidental
This is a selection of the unsolicited tweets the author was delighted to receive from total @garethtorri hey mate just finished accidental hitman! Awesome book! Couldn’t put it down! Just wanted to let u know! Well done
@sirjs hi. Just finished reading your book. Couldn’t put it down—it was that good!
@timscholesjones Just finished accidental hitman. Couldn't put it down. Can see it being a blockbuster. Maybe a mix of snatch and fight club.
@BirleySmash just finished Accidental Hitman. Fantastic book, really well written and I laughed out loud on the tube a few times. 10/10 thanks
@madbrad84 Just finished your book "the accidental hit man". A fantastic read and had me gripped and belly laughing as well. Great work!
@scottbootland Just finished reading accidental hitman and I loved it. now I'll actually have to do some work during the day instead of reading!
@drewjayjohnson I've just finished reading Accidental Hitman and it's become my new favourite book. Currently on Apocalypse Soup Kitchen!
@wossiejossie just finished Accidental Hitman, I really enjoyed it. Really liked Tom, reminded me of someone I know. 10/10
@stephen_beck I had finished your book today, well done you it was fantastic!
401 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 13, 2011
About the author
A.W. Wilson
10 books19 followersA.W. Wilson writes books for people who like laughing at things they probably shouldn't. He combines pacy, compelling plots with irreverent, observational, and sometimes quite silly comedy, enjoying seeing how his characters get on in dangerous, intriguing and absurd situations.
He has recently been inspired by a good friend to update and relaunch his first novel, Accidental Hitman, as the first volume of a series. He's delighted with the refreshed version and with the progress on the sequel.
He's also the author of Christ, Man!, a satirical retelling of biblical events through the very human eyes of Jesus' best mate. It's not meant to offend but this one is best avoided by readers who may be sensitive to provocative humour.
When not writing, he can be found with a book in his hand, or walking around his adopted home town of London, finding inspiration for his next chapter, and trying to avoid the temptation of all the pubs he passes.
He has recently been inspired by a good friend to update and relaunch his first novel, Accidental Hitman, as the first volume of a series. He's delighted with the refreshed version and with the progress on the sequel.
He's also the author of Christ, Man!, a satirical retelling of biblical events through the very human eyes of Jesus' best mate. It's not meant to offend but this one is best avoided by readers who may be sensitive to provocative humour.
When not writing, he can be found with a book in his hand, or walking around his adopted home town of London, finding inspiration for his next chapter, and trying to avoid the temptation of all the pubs he passes.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
January 9, 2015
As the title suggests this is the story of a normal guy, Tom White (well I say normal but..) who accidentally becomes embroiled Gangsterdom in southern England and becomes a Hitman, (along with his eager pal Colin). Led by the pure greed of the lovely cash packages delivered at first by two very shady gangsters, Cheese and Frank, and later by the beautiful and mysterious Stephanie, our heroes set about murdering whoever they are asked to despite the absurd obstacles and circumstances that his paymasters demand. (fancy dress parties, paintball parties).
The book was a joy to read for me, written in a relatively simple style, no pretentiousness, no writers ego obstructing a good story..every page genuinely produced a smile with either subtle humour or outright macabre slapstick. Add into the mix a love interest (the Luscious lipped Laura) that added value to the story and gave our hero a conscience and some emotional dilemma's to contend with and we have a classic funny murder story in the vein of Tim Dorsy or even Ryan Bracha..there was no pressure on the reader to become moralistic about the killings of seemingly innocent folk as there was the exact right amount of humour to let you just roll along and enjoy the blood letting. Its not at all gory or gratuitous but has an edge that keeps you up those extra minutes or hours till your eyes start to drop.
Highly recommended. I will be seeking out more books from A.W. Wilson
The book was a joy to read for me, written in a relatively simple style, no pretentiousness, no writers ego obstructing a good story..every page genuinely produced a smile with either subtle humour or outright macabre slapstick. Add into the mix a love interest (the Luscious lipped Laura) that added value to the story and gave our hero a conscience and some emotional dilemma's to contend with and we have a classic funny murder story in the vein of Tim Dorsy or even Ryan Bracha..there was no pressure on the reader to become moralistic about the killings of seemingly innocent folk as there was the exact right amount of humour to let you just roll along and enjoy the blood letting. Its not at all gory or gratuitous but has an edge that keeps you up those extra minutes or hours till your eyes start to drop.
Highly recommended. I will be seeking out more books from A.W. Wilson
January 13, 2023
Title got me on this one. From the first page it was uh oh what have I gotten myself into. There's nothing accidental with Tom. He might've been misunderstood by Frank and Cheese, but he was all in from the start. The first was possibly an accident, everything that followed was to cover his tracks, for work or because they were annoying.
Tom wasn't a complex character, he knew what he liked and what he didn't like, deciding to deal with things in his own way. At one point I thought he was going to off Rosie or the staff and maybe the kid. He wasn't a likeable character and this story was going one of two ways, death or job security. How he got the girl and the best friend back I have no idea. It was interesting but did dip in places.
Tom wasn't a complex character, he knew what he liked and what he didn't like, deciding to deal with things in his own way. At one point I thought he was going to off Rosie or the staff and maybe the kid. He wasn't a likeable character and this story was going one of two ways, death or job security. How he got the girl and the best friend back I have no idea. It was interesting but did dip in places.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2012
I highly recommend this very funny novel with it's brilliant characters. I enjoyed going along for the ride, and the protagonists perspective on life and people was hilarious. I can't wait to read more by AW Wilson.
August 7, 2014
This was not my cup of tea at all. I liked the premise, but the main character Tom was utterly unlikeable and the book, in my opinion, was more suited to men probably. And men whose usual reading material didn't stretch much further than Heat magazine.Awful. 4/10
December 12, 2012
Superb book, I really enjoyed this dark thriller that certainly had a comic element, as I was reading it I was trying to picture who who play the characters if this was made into a movie.
May 27, 2016
Not a great work of literature but an enjoyable enough read.
September 24, 2017
Great laugh out loud book, couldn’t put it down.
October 4, 2017
This really is a different book! The style is unusual as is the subject. It is not often that the story is written by the murderer and almost entirely in dialogue. Once I'd got used to the writing style I found the book to be quite entertaining. If you enjoy crime stories then you should give this try.
April 24, 2018
Rye twist on a dark subject.
Well crafted story that intertwined everyday life with abnormal, psychopathic behaviour which disturbed me in that it demonstrated how thin the line can be between normal existence and the dark side. The happy ending was an unexpected direction. I would highly recommend.
Well crafted story that intertwined everyday life with abnormal, psychopathic behaviour which disturbed me in that it demonstrated how thin the line can be between normal existence and the dark side. The happy ending was an unexpected direction. I would highly recommend.
December 23, 2019
Not what I expected.....
Far better!
Kind of a murder mystery when you know who the murderer is! The book was really well written and kept me engaged until the end. I loved the different characters and the intrigue throughout the story as it unfolded.
A fab little story that I really enjoyed
Far better!
Kind of a murder mystery when you know who the murderer is! The book was really well written and kept me engaged until the end. I loved the different characters and the intrigue throughout the story as it unfolded.
A fab little story that I really enjoyed
September 19, 2020
I'm a fan of crime comedy normally but this is a very poorly executed effort.....the main character has zero redeeming features, the character motivations are bizarre, the language is coarse and the plot is complete rubbish. I skimmed the final third to be honest but don't feel like I missed out on anything. Oh and my personal pet hate.....huge chunks of text in italics for no apparent reason
June 4, 2018
Funny
Fantastic laugh out loud funny. Really enjoyed this story and found myself laughing out loud although the humorous aspect gets a little lost by the end it it still a thoroughly great read.
Fantastic laugh out loud funny. Really enjoyed this story and found myself laughing out loud although the humorous aspect gets a little lost by the end it it still a thoroughly great read.
June 4, 2018
I was crying laughing within 10 minutes of starting this book! Somewhat rude in places, with strong language throughout, it totally appealed to my black sense of humour. Loved it.
September 4, 2018
Simple light reading, only book I’ve read that I have constantly laughed aloud whilst reading. Have recommended it to many friends who have shared the same thoughts as I.
December 28, 2018
Quite funny but not a good as christ man
April 23, 2019
Very funny
Black comedy. It does make you laugh out loud this book with a great story line. You can help but like Thomas even though he loves to kill people!
Black comedy. It does make you laugh out loud this book with a great story line. You can help but like Thomas even though he loves to kill people!
June 17, 2026
Loved this book. A rattllng good story, told with great humour.
July 29, 2013
Murdering an annoying neighbour is a fascinating premise that draws you straight into the book. This book is a dark comedy told in a memoir-like way of Tom’s antics as his neighbour’s murder throws him deep into the criminal underworld. I particularly enjoyed the easy-to-read, conversational style of the book and how the story was not glamorised. It really is the story of the guy next door, so you can picture yourself in Tom’s shoes and really believe in the scrapes he finds himself in. There are laugh-out-loud moments from beginning to end, so be ready for the questioning looks you will no doubt receive from anyone nearby.
October 24, 2016
Thought it would be rubbish, but i was totally wrong!
As the title says, I was bored, flicking through the cheaper books on Amazon, saw this and a few others and downloaded a sample, just for shits and giggles!
Anyhow, read the sample, was so enthused by it I thought let's buy this its less than £2 give it a try
Really is good, the only bit I didn't like was the italicised pages, yes I know they are arty farty bits of in head type talky stuff but on a kindle they can be a bit hard to read
Well that's me, now going to download your next book!
Hope that one is as good as this
As the title says, I was bored, flicking through the cheaper books on Amazon, saw this and a few others and downloaded a sample, just for shits and giggles!
Anyhow, read the sample, was so enthused by it I thought let's buy this its less than £2 give it a try
Really is good, the only bit I didn't like was the italicised pages, yes I know they are arty farty bits of in head type talky stuff but on a kindle they can be a bit hard to read
Well that's me, now going to download your next book!
Hope that one is as good as this
May 7, 2016
I loved this book right up until the end which kinda let me down a bit, characters who became important in the last chapters were introduced by letting them speak in first person randomly from about 2/3 of the way through but these snapshots weren't enough for them to stick in my head. This caused me to become a bit confused. I do however read whilst in bed so it could be entirely my fault.
Well written and excellently funny, I recommend Christ Man! By the same author and will continue to read his output.
Well written and excellently funny, I recommend Christ Man! By the same author and will continue to read his output.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2014
After a very good start with plenty of humour although things tailed off slightly after half way. The funnies were coming thick and fast in the first half so probably difficult to sustain.
That said it was a good read which had you wondering how he was going to get out of the situation he was in especially with the police breathing down his neck.
A slight twist (if not rushed) ending in comparison to the rest of the book but enjoyable all the same.
That said it was a good read which had you wondering how he was going to get out of the situation he was in especially with the police breathing down his neck.
A slight twist (if not rushed) ending in comparison to the rest of the book but enjoyable all the same.
November 20, 2012
Fantastic book, really enjoyed it. I can't think of any debut novels I've read recently that come anywhere close to beating this! It had me laughing out loud a couple of times on the train on the way home from work - that's definitely a first!
Credit to the author for his work - I'll be checking out his other short story books now.
Credit to the author for his work - I'll be checking out his other short story books now.
June 23, 2014
Great comedy thriller. Good layering of characters. Great pacing. Only criticism was that I found the author's style of switching to different characters really confusing until I'd got into the style. I would compare to a fledgling Bateman who has great potential regarding story lines plots suspense and noir humour.
December 5, 2012
This is a really weird book and it doesn't have the polish of a professionally written book, but I couldn't put it down.
The subject is such a macabre and unusual one, its like driving past a car accident and trying not to look at the damage
to the vehicles. Compulsive and magnetic.
The subject is such a macabre and unusual one, its like driving past a car accident and trying not to look at the damage
to the vehicles. Compulsive and magnetic.
June 27, 2014
Enjoyable romp which I treated as a bit of a black comedy - not sure if it is supposed to be.
Lots of coincidence and easy steps but the overall effect was fun. No spoilers here but if you like a twist from the first person perspective on being a hitman then it's fun.
Lots of coincidence and easy steps but the overall effect was fun. No spoilers here but if you like a twist from the first person perspective on being a hitman then it's fun.
August 15, 2015
Brilliant if somewhat unlikley premise about a man becoming a professional hitman by accident. Excellent dark humour written in a light, conversational style but spoiled by a number of spelling errors. That said, it made me laugh and I'll be reading more from A.W Wilson.
November 9, 2012
loved this book.laugh out loud all the way
January 20, 2015
A Funny, Tense, Brilliant Read! I Loved It!
May 18, 2015
Interesting concept, & full of interesting turns, but unfortunately the writing style is poor - and that overrides everything else
September 11, 2015
Started strong...faded very noticeably.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews