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The Negotiator: My Life at the Heart of the Hostage Trade
Ben Lopez spends his life traveling the world, bartering with people who value money over life. Working for governments, law enforcement agencies, multinational corporations and private clients, Ben is an expert K&R (Kidnap and Ransom) consultant, supplying professional kidnap-negotiation services. He can be called out to anywhere in the world within twenty-four-hour notice to set up and command the negotiator's cell, bargaining with religious fanatics, hardened criminals, and other desperate people in order to save the lives of their captives. Alongside a shadowy team of former spies and special operatives, his arsenal of psychological techniques is just as powerful as brute force. He'll spend as long as is necessary to get the job done. And then he'll disappear.This extraordinary book reads like a thriller—but for those involved in the stories within it, the drama and the tension are very real.
321 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 21, 2011
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166 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
September 30, 2015
This book by Ben Lopez tells about his crazy vocation as a hostage negotiator, flying all over the world to haggle with kidnappers, and dealing with distraught families. Filled with horrific stories of people who are kidnapped, and trying to follow a time tested strategy to keep them alive, while dealing with people who care only about money, not sure who can be trusted among the remaining friends and family. A thrilling and eye-opening tale about what happens after the person is gone.
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July 20, 2016===== ===== ===== Review verison submitted as a writing sample for a local newspaper in April 2014 (which prompted a rejection within the hour, teehee!)
The following is a book review for "The Negotiator" by Ben Lopez, a 2011 memoir.
This is an engaging memoir of an adrenaline junkie who talks for a living. I would give this book a 4-star rating if they cut the fillers in the latter half and turned it into a 200-pager.
Ben Lopez (nom de plume) is a mentalist. From the first half of the book, our author comes off like a cocky wise guy who suffers from high self esteem. He'd tirelessly remind you of his 6'5" statue, his 5-star meals, and his rapacious ambitions (marrying up, ingratiating himself to Russian moguls, chasing the big dollar, yada, yada, yada...) But the second half is all anti-climax and is best summed up in his own words: "Most negotiators are paunchy, middle-aged guys with a house in the country and a legacy of strained personal relationships (p.81)". You won't get your "negotiator fix" in his dyspeptic downfall, even though the final Somali chapter is well worth the slogging.
I still like this book, because despite being chauvinistic and somewhat spiteful of the underclass, our author keeps his audience thoroughly engaged, with straight talk and entertaining metaphors like "time passed like kidney stones (p.214)". I learned the history of professional negotiation teams that began with NYPD; the beginnings of K&R (kidnap & ransom) insurance; the five major types of kidnappers: avoidant types, paranoids, anti-socials, religious types and plain thugs; the psychological process to justify a kill (p.109-111); and the danger of "falling in" when the negotiator begins to adopt the perp's world view (p.201).
This is a fast read. He made light the business of kidnapping despite its ruthless nature. Pity his reading prowess in the 6th grade never made him an empathetic writer.
Perhaps one glaring omission would be a fair assessment on the merits of police involvement in a K&R situation. He had stressed that law enforcement serves dual goals: to catch the bad guys as much as to get the hostage(s) back; while he, the negotiator, only serves to bring back the hostage -- implying that a hired negotiator is better for the victim. But as we saw in his case studies, that wasn't true when the negotiator is paid for by your K&R insurance. He had left the hostage in the hands of their kidnappers a few days longer while he bargained for a lower ransom! He too, serves dual purposes: to bid down the ransom as well as to bring home the hostage.
To call the police or not to call the police? This book won't shed light on your conundrum -- perhaps a small conflict of interest with how "Ben" makes a living? But read the book for its unique insights. Few people in the world can lay claim to insider knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
My recommendation: if you have time for only one story, go for the Karachi case.
Case studies by chapter:
1 Brazil
2-3 author's biography
4 Mexico City
5-8 Karachi, Pakistan (p.97 - 148)
9-10 Kandahar, Afghanistan 2006: hostage escaped!
11-15 England 2006, siege not negotiation, author a mere bit part with the Scotland Yard: total snooze fest
16 Argentina: it's a sad marriage when your spouse would rather you never return
17-18 Southern Italy: duller than a Kardashian reunion
19 Somali pirates 2009
Some illustrative quotes from the book:
“Latin America taught me a lot. It's a market leader in kidnap." p.83
"Suddenly going all Jack Bauer .. wouldn't change anything ..Violence must always be the last resort in K & R, not the first." p.156, 160
"It's like getting your girlfriend pregnant, you can't unscrew her." p.192
"Goosebumps popped up and down my arms... This, truly, was what I was born to do." p.193
"The Bronx was a legendary shitty neighbourhood, host to some of the lowest of NY's low life." p.201
"Time passed like kidney stones." p.214
"If I knew I was going to be kidnapped tomorrow, I'd catch a plane to Somalia tonight." p.287
===== ===== ===== Original Review (Oct 2012 ?)
This is an engaging memoir of an adrenaline junkie who talks for a living. I'd give this book a 4-star rating if they cut the fillers in the latter 1/2 and turned this into a 200-pager.
Ben Lopez (nom de plume) is a mentalist. In the first 1/2, our author sounds like a cocky wise guy who suffers from high self esteem. He'd tirelessly remind you of his 6'5" statue, his 5-star meals and his relentless ambition to move up in the world (marrying up, pursuing big $$, kissing up to Russian moguls, yada, yada, yada...) But the second 1/2 was all anti-climax and is best summed up in his own words: "Most negotiators are paunchy, middle-aged guys with a house in the country and a legacy of strained personal relationships (p.81)". You won't get your "negotiator fix" in this 1/2 of the book even tho the Somali chapter made it worthwhile.
I still like this book, because despite being chauvinistic and somewhat spiteful of the underclass, he keeps his audience engaged with straight talk and metaphors like "time passed like kidney stones". I learned the history of professional negotiation teams that began with NYPD; the beginnings of K&R insurance; the various types of kidnappers: avoidant types, paranoids, anti-socials, religious types and plain thugs; the psychological process to justify a kill (p.109-111); and the danger of "falling in" when the shrink begins to adopt the perp's world view (p.201).
This is a fast read. He made light the business of kidnapping despite its ruthless nature. Pity his reading prowess in the 6th grade never manifested in his writing.
Perhaps one glaring omission would be the pros and cons of police involvement in a K&R situation. He had stressed that law enforcement serves dual goals: to catch the bad guys as much as to get the hostage(s) back; while he, the negotiator, only serves to bring back the hostage -- implying that a hired negotiator is better for the victim. But as we saw in his case studies, that wasn't true when the negotiator is paid for by your K&R insurance. He'd leave the hostage in the hands of their kidnappers a few days longer while he bargained for a lower ransom. He too, serves dual purposes: to reduce the ransom as well as to bring home the hostage.
To call the police or not to call the police? This book won't give you a straight answer -- a small conflict of interest with how "Ben" makes a living? But read it for its unique insights. Few people in the world can lay claim to insider knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
My recommendation: if you have time for only 1 story, go for the Karachi case.
Case studies by chapter:
1 Brazil
2-3 author's biography
4 Mexico City
5-8 Karachi, Pakistan (p.97 - 148)
9-10 Kandahar, Afghanistan 2006: hostage escaped!
11-15 England 2006, siege not kidnap, only a bit part with Scotland Yard: total snooze fest
16 Argentina: it's a sad marriage when your spouse'd rather you never return
17-18 Southern Italy: duller than a Kardashian reunion
19 Somali pirates 2009
-----
Illustrative quotes:
“Latin America taught me a lot. It's a market leader in kidnap." p.83
"Suddenly going all Jack Bauer .. wouldn't change anything ..Violence must always be the last resort in K & R, not the first." p.156, 160
"It's like getting your girlfriend pregnant, you can't unscrew her." p.192
"Goosebumps popped up and down my arms... This, truly, was what I was born to do." p.193
"The Bronx was a legendary shitty neighbourhood, host to some of the lowest of NY's low life." p.201
"Time passed like kidney stones." p.214
"If I knew I was gonna be kidnapped tomorrow, I'd catch a plane to Somalia tonight." p.287
Some stats about the world we live in:
As for the mysterious "Ben", perhaps you could look for a hard-drinking paunchy guy, or someone who fits this profile?
cocky white male, 6-5", mid 40's to low 50's
Cuban mom, American dad who worked for IMF
lived in Venezuela mid-teens to early 20's (1975-early 80's)
PhD Psy, practiced a year in Brooklyn, NY
met wife late 1990's, married up then divorced.
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preview:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Negotiator-li...
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In movies, "A Hijacking" is a 2012 Danish fiction that spells out some of the negotiation techniques in Lopez's book.
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Kidnapping? Or "tourist safari"? Egypt’s Bedouin negotiates with their govt (2012):
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/p...
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A House in the Sky
The Price of Life
These are 2 first person accounts for the same Aug 2008 Somalia kidnapping, from the prospective of each kidnapped victim. Canadian waitress turned freelance "journalist" Amanda Lindhout and an Aussie photog were kept for 15 months, beaten and starved, Lindhout gang-raped, and rumored to have given birth to a child in captivity.
Questions were raised pertaining the purpose/motive of the couple's (former lovers) trip.
I can't help but recall our negotiator's (Lopez is probably a false name) description of Somalia from his 2009 experience. Page 130 in Lindhout's memoir concurs that they are a very social and communicative clan.
They say that the Aussie's account The Price of Life retells much of the negotiation process.
November 24, 2012
Started off a bit slow but after the explanation about the rubber chicken I was hooked! Great read I would just have liked a little bit more at the end as he was explaining about the kidnapper side of the business! Well worth a read to learn about the shadowy world of hostage negotiation!
August 29, 2019
This is a behind-the-scenes look at the world where people base their livelihoods on kidnappings, and their political agenda on what they can achieve from putting pressure on those in power through negotiating using human beings as their currency.
It's hardcore and no-nonsense in tone, relating real cases with names and identities changed to protect both victims and the people who operate behind the scenes to secure their safe release and return to their loved ones.
Simple in its story telling style, it resembles that of an action movie in book-form.
It's hardcore and no-nonsense in tone, relating real cases with names and identities changed to protect both victims and the people who operate behind the scenes to secure their safe release and return to their loved ones.
Simple in its story telling style, it resembles that of an action movie in book-form.
March 14, 2021
Written under a pseudonym, I found this work of interest. If one has watched the two season, three episodes each, series 'Kidnap and Ransom', then one has watched many reenactments of similar occurrences depicted in this work. Read for personal research. This work is also a good addition to any collection for the researcher and enthusiast and its contents may prove helpful and inspiring for some.
Things to remember:
If governments (police, military, CIA, FBI...) get involved, hostages get killed.
Never let the media know anything!
Things to remember:
If governments (police, military, CIA, FBI...) get involved, hostages get killed.
Never let the media know anything!
August 30, 2025
easy written and gives an insight in what comes about in kidnapping and what has driven the author to choose this line of work. Towards the latter chapters I found myself less engaged in reading. Some cases were full of diversions to other anekdotes. Also not always the author's role was clear, and those cases seemed like to be in place to spice up the story, but for me failed in that respect.
Nonetheless, an interesting read
Nonetheless, an interesting read
July 21, 2022
The book is an okay read. To me, it was a compilation of short kidnapping stories with an underlying theme of the authors life and what it's like to be a negotiator. It's not particularly educational like split the difference. Would recommend if you like the genre. But I don't think anyone would read it twice
September 18, 2020
Not what I was expecting its a very interesting book to read on the hostage negotiation side of things, but I was expecting it to be a story not a book about the process.
August 18, 2023
An engaging read of the inner working of hostage negotiations - the trials, tribulations and exhaustive efforts to releease the hostage
April 24, 2021
I’ve read this book in Dutch and I love it. It is highly informative and well written. The stories are easy to read. I finished the book in three days. The pacing of the chapters is great. Ben Lopez does a good job of shedding light on a phenomenon that most of us thankfully have no clue about.
February 24, 2013
Mr Lopez (not his real name) is a psychological consultant working for Kidnap & Ransom victims across the world. In films when you see the professionals setup the tape-recorder and start listening into the conversations this is what Lopez does in real life.
In this book it should be little surprise that Lopez tells many kidnap than are both heart-wrenching and pounding at once, including Somali pirates, the Taliban and Lopez's part in a well-publicised local stand-off. In terms of his history and personal life, I wouldn't say his background work in a secure ward or failed marriage are particularly compelling, but his it is interesting to understand how he came to be in the biz, and the brief personal tales remind us Lopez is a mere mortal and adds a personal touch.
There is a slight frustration in that Lopez simply cannot reveal all the ins and outs of the hostage trade, it would be incredibly counter-productive to provide would-be kidnappers with a guide to success. To make up for this Lopez provides startling sometimes confronting insight into the horrible process of kidnapping. He unapologetically states his purpose as getting victims back to their families, and keeping the kidnappers in one piece. Pointing out that heroic movie-like military interventions result in high risk of death for everyone involved.
While this book won't blow your mind, I recommend it for anyone who wants insight into a dangerous feature of the world and a few real life tales to keep you awake at night.
In this book it should be little surprise that Lopez tells many kidnap than are both heart-wrenching and pounding at once, including Somali pirates, the Taliban and Lopez's part in a well-publicised local stand-off. In terms of his history and personal life, I wouldn't say his background work in a secure ward or failed marriage are particularly compelling, but his it is interesting to understand how he came to be in the biz, and the brief personal tales remind us Lopez is a mere mortal and adds a personal touch.
There is a slight frustration in that Lopez simply cannot reveal all the ins and outs of the hostage trade, it would be incredibly counter-productive to provide would-be kidnappers with a guide to success. To make up for this Lopez provides startling sometimes confronting insight into the horrible process of kidnapping. He unapologetically states his purpose as getting victims back to their families, and keeping the kidnappers in one piece. Pointing out that heroic movie-like military interventions result in high risk of death for everyone involved.
While this book won't blow your mind, I recommend it for anyone who wants insight into a dangerous feature of the world and a few real life tales to keep you awake at night.
December 20, 2022
Has some slow parts, overall very interesting
August 17, 2020
Love this book even though it was not what I expected. I thought it would be like police and FBI negotiators who try to bring hostage or siege incidents to a peaceful resolution. This man with a background in psychology works for insurance companies whose clients have kidnap insurance. He steps in to negotiate the (usually) monetary terms for release. Unless it is politically or ideologically motivated, kidnapping, he says, is a business and negotiating is at the heart of any business transaction. He uses his psychology background, life experience, and knowledge of kidnapper techniques and mindsets, to arrange hostage releases. He also counsels all those affected by the kidnapping on how to work together towards the release and how to deal with the stresses, before, during and after the incident. From South American cartels to Somalian pirates, he presents a fascinating subject.
March 14, 2021
Written under a pseudonym, I found this work of interest. If one has watched the two season, three episodes each, series 'Kidnap and Ransom', then one has watched many reenactments of similar occurrences depicted in this work. Read for personal research. This work is also a good addition to any collection for the researcher and enthusiast and its contents may prove helpful and inspiring for some.
Things to remember:
If governments (police, military, CIA, FBI...) get involved, hostages get killed.
Never let the media know anything!
Things to remember:
If governments (police, military, CIA, FBI...) get involved, hostages get killed.
Never let the media know anything!
May 1, 2013
It kind of comes off as "hey look at me", but the overall breakdown of the methodology behind kidnap negotiating tactics is definitely interesting. There was a story at the end of the book that I felt like his setup at the beginning of the chapter drastically oversold the final outcome of the story. It was interesting, but not outstanding.
June 4, 2013
I can't even believe this book was written, it's so poorly done. What I can imagine is the author going to an agent or a publisher and saying, "I've got this great idea..." and selling them on it. Negotiating for kidnap victims is already a slimey trade. Having to read about it leaves you feeling tainted.
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January 4, 2012Not my thing...I was expecting Samual Jackson in "The Negotiator", but as is usually the case, real life is not as exciting as the movies! No diss to Ben Lopez...I have no doubt his life is very exciting, but not so much his writing style. Husband read it and enjoyed it though!
July 2, 2015
This book needs a good editing.
The book rambled, good information and very interesting, it was hard to buy into the idea of him as soon a good negotiator when he portrayed himself as a lousy human being.
The book rambled, good information and very interesting, it was hard to buy into the idea of him as soon a good negotiator when he portrayed himself as a lousy human being.
July 25, 2015
Captivating!
This book kept me turning the pages! It also made me even more appreciative of living in the U.S. We are not a perfect country, but we have the best country in the world!
This book kept me turning the pages! It also made me even more appreciative of living in the U.S. We are not a perfect country, but we have the best country in the world!
July 7, 2018
Started off well, but a real struggle from half way point onwards. The author makes references to past examples of kidnaps and hostage taking but gives no further explanation leaving the reader slightly confused.
October 27, 2012
Great book! Action! Action! Action! And all true! Well written and fun to read.
January 27, 2014
Great read for anyone interested in the k & r trade
May 5, 2015
Een goed boek met een klare kijk op ontvoeringen en de afhandeling ervan. Je merkt dat de schrijver een pro is in de materie en dit neer pent aan real cases zonder echt technisch te worden.
April 29, 2015
An in-depth and remarkably insightful view of a feared and poorly understood industry.
December 5, 2012
I read this so you don't have to bother with it. The definition of taking one for the team.
August 1, 2013
See Rock's review. I couldn't have said it better.
August 14, 2013
Out of the ordinary read for me. Non-fiction. Very, very interesting.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews