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The Complete Fawlty Towers
The complete and unexpurgated scripts of one of the most celebrated comedy series ever. Published in its entirety for the first time and illustrated with a host of hilarious photographs, The Complete Fawlty Towers will appeal to the millions of fans who have suffered through endless PBS fundraisers waiting for the next episode -- and anyone who has survived a package holiday tour.
Fawlty Towers is the hotel of every traveler's nightmare. Basil Fawlty -- ill-tempered, henpecked, and conniving -- tries in vain to be master of his house under the disapproving and ever-watchful eye of his wife, Sybil. The hotel offers service by Manuel, the incompetent Spanish waiter whose feeble grasp of English makes for hilarious misunderstandings, and Polly, the unflappable chambermaid who is Fawlty Towers' only sane employee. Meals are scorched in the kitchen while adulterers consort upstairs and chaos reigns all around. For countless fans, Fawlty Towers is the best-loved bad hotel in the world, and with publication of The Complete Fawlty Towers they will all have a chance to relive its outrageous awfulness.
Fawlty Towers is the hotel of every traveler's nightmare. Basil Fawlty -- ill-tempered, henpecked, and conniving -- tries in vain to be master of his house under the disapproving and ever-watchful eye of his wife, Sybil. The hotel offers service by Manuel, the incompetent Spanish waiter whose feeble grasp of English makes for hilarious misunderstandings, and Polly, the unflappable chambermaid who is Fawlty Towers' only sane employee. Meals are scorched in the kitchen while adulterers consort upstairs and chaos reigns all around. For countless fans, Fawlty Towers is the best-loved bad hotel in the world, and with publication of The Complete Fawlty Towers they will all have a chance to relive its outrageous awfulness.
333 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1977
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1061 people want to read
About the author
John Cleese
117 books572 followersJohn Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, writer, film producer, and singer.
Cleese is probably best known for his various roles in the British comedy Monty Python's Flying Circus, his role as Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers and his various roles in the British comedy The Frost Report. He also played the role of Archie Leach in the American / British comedy film A Fish Called Wanda.
Cleese is probably best known for his various roles in the British comedy Monty Python's Flying Circus, his role as Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers and his various roles in the British comedy The Frost Report. He also played the role of Archie Leach in the American / British comedy film A Fish Called Wanda.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
March 14, 2022
The Major Very attractive little feller . . . what is it?
Mrs Chase He’s a little Chitzu.
The Major Is he really? . . . Oh dear, dear, dear. What breed is it?
Mrs Chase Well, they’re lap dogs aren’t they
The Major A Lapp dog? Oh, hard to imagine him stalking a reindeer, what?
Mrs Chase He’s a little Chitzu.
The Major Is he really? . . . Oh dear, dear, dear. What breed is it?
Mrs Chase Well, they’re lap dogs aren’t they
The Major A Lapp dog? Oh, hard to imagine him stalking a reindeer, what?
October 25, 2010
Update
I have just enough time, I think, to do this while the water is heating up. I say this with no expectation.
So, I'm lying in bed this morning licking something to make it stiff - this has to be done perfectly, no dribbling, that would spoilt the effect - and then when it is ready you want to slide it in and this has to be gentle. You want to coax it in, you don't want to lose that hardness you just got exactly how you wanted it. And most definitely you don't want to lose your temper, that won't work at all.
So, you have the needle and you have the thread and you are being gentle and coaxing, honestly you are and you aren't going to lose your temper, you know that doesn't work. But as usual it isn't working. You can't get the fucking thread in the fucking, fucking needle and you are going to kill the needle. That's it, mind made up, you are going to fucking kill it. Please don't tell me the needle is inert and can't be killed, I don't fucking care. The needle is going to die.
No. Even better. I'm going to take it down to breakfast and I'm going to stab it in the bacon and until it has eaten every last bit of the fucking bacon it is staying there. Please don't tell me needles can't eat bacon, just don't. This needle clearly has a mind of its own and it is going to eat the fucking bacon. Or die. The choice is its.
If you are wondering, this is as good as it gets, sewing for me.
Goes to shower. Burning hot water, can't stand near it. That'd be right.
-------------------
As I write I am sitting in a most peculiar hotel room. The hot water is clearly trying its damnedest to be more than luke warm, but not a chance. There is a big hole in the window - I'm waiting for a technician to come and examine both it and the water.
Breakfast. Well. I don't know if I'm just having the unluckiest run, but is the English breakfast not the most dreadful thing? I'm at a 4 star hotel, I ate a mouthful of sausage and quickly decided to abandon it altogether. But then I tasted the bacon and the bacon gave me a new appreciation of the sausage. Not that I ate more of it, but with a gun to my head and given the choice I would have smiled winsomely at the sausage. I would have wraggled my finger at it and told it to come this way.
So, now the technician is here. Everybody working in this hotel is East European except for a horrible Englishman who bosses them all about. They have no agency to be nice. In fact the receptionist has been so nice to me twice so far that we are both fearful she is going to lose her job.
It turns out, in addition to there being a large hole in the window, the heating in the hotel is only turned on certain times of the day. P-leassse don't tell me it's a green policy, I don't believe it. I'm going to fucken freeze to death.
Last Saturday I also stayed in a 4 star hotel and it was a Rolls Royce. As nice a hotel as I've ever stayed at. Doesn't this make you wonder about the goodreads star system?
Well, while I've been writing, the technician has plugged up the hole in the window, turned on the heating, though since management decides when to let it through to the room this isn't exciting me greatly. He suggests that if I have my showers in the evening or the crack of dawn they will be warmer....I'm coming around to the concept that I have to shiver through my showers. But wait - dashes into bathroom for cosy chat with technician. Anything you do in this bathroom is cosy, so don't read anything into that please.
Ah. If you run the shower for 15 minutes before climbing in - I know, I know, I have occasionally been known to exaggerate a tad but these are the very words of the technician - it does get warmer. Probably not warm enough, but warmer.
Geez, is this hard for a person from the South of Australia to do. Our legal showers have been 2 minutes for some years due to our ongoing drought conditions. To watch 15 minutes of water go down the tubes in order to get a comfortable shower is difficult indeed.
I find it hard to believe that I'm over the worse. Expect another installment please.
I have just enough time, I think, to do this while the water is heating up. I say this with no expectation.
So, I'm lying in bed this morning licking something to make it stiff - this has to be done perfectly, no dribbling, that would spoilt the effect - and then when it is ready you want to slide it in and this has to be gentle. You want to coax it in, you don't want to lose that hardness you just got exactly how you wanted it. And most definitely you don't want to lose your temper, that won't work at all.
So, you have the needle and you have the thread and you are being gentle and coaxing, honestly you are and you aren't going to lose your temper, you know that doesn't work. But as usual it isn't working. You can't get the fucking thread in the fucking, fucking needle and you are going to kill the needle. That's it, mind made up, you are going to fucking kill it. Please don't tell me the needle is inert and can't be killed, I don't fucking care. The needle is going to die.
No. Even better. I'm going to take it down to breakfast and I'm going to stab it in the bacon and until it has eaten every last bit of the fucking bacon it is staying there. Please don't tell me needles can't eat bacon, just don't. This needle clearly has a mind of its own and it is going to eat the fucking bacon. Or die. The choice is its.
If you are wondering, this is as good as it gets, sewing for me.
Goes to shower. Burning hot water, can't stand near it. That'd be right.
-------------------
As I write I am sitting in a most peculiar hotel room. The hot water is clearly trying its damnedest to be more than luke warm, but not a chance. There is a big hole in the window - I'm waiting for a technician to come and examine both it and the water.
Breakfast. Well. I don't know if I'm just having the unluckiest run, but is the English breakfast not the most dreadful thing? I'm at a 4 star hotel, I ate a mouthful of sausage and quickly decided to abandon it altogether. But then I tasted the bacon and the bacon gave me a new appreciation of the sausage. Not that I ate more of it, but with a gun to my head and given the choice I would have smiled winsomely at the sausage. I would have wraggled my finger at it and told it to come this way.
So, now the technician is here. Everybody working in this hotel is East European except for a horrible Englishman who bosses them all about. They have no agency to be nice. In fact the receptionist has been so nice to me twice so far that we are both fearful she is going to lose her job.
It turns out, in addition to there being a large hole in the window, the heating in the hotel is only turned on certain times of the day. P-leassse don't tell me it's a green policy, I don't believe it. I'm going to fucken freeze to death.
Last Saturday I also stayed in a 4 star hotel and it was a Rolls Royce. As nice a hotel as I've ever stayed at. Doesn't this make you wonder about the goodreads star system?
Well, while I've been writing, the technician has plugged up the hole in the window, turned on the heating, though since management decides when to let it through to the room this isn't exciting me greatly. He suggests that if I have my showers in the evening or the crack of dawn they will be warmer....I'm coming around to the concept that I have to shiver through my showers. But wait - dashes into bathroom for cosy chat with technician. Anything you do in this bathroom is cosy, so don't read anything into that please.
Ah. If you run the shower for 15 minutes before climbing in - I know, I know, I have occasionally been known to exaggerate a tad but these are the very words of the technician - it does get warmer. Probably not warm enough, but warmer.
Geez, is this hard for a person from the South of Australia to do. Our legal showers have been 2 minutes for some years due to our ongoing drought conditions. To watch 15 minutes of water go down the tubes in order to get a comfortable shower is difficult indeed.
I find it hard to believe that I'm over the worse. Expect another installment please.
January 22, 2008
The only thing better than watching this Brit train-wreck of a comedy series is savoring its demented wordplay in book form.
March 19, 2014
Fawlty Towers is one of my favorite TV series. In my mind it's among the greatest British comedy series ever made. Basil Fawlty runs such a completely awful hotel that watching it is pure pleasure, especially because one isn't actually a guest there.
When I came across this book I hadn't seen the show for a number of years, so I bought it to revisit the establishment that had brought me so much enjoyment years before. And for the first time Fawlty Towers failed to amuse me. It's all there, all the words from the show, nothing beyond that, but that should have been enough. It just didn't bring me any laughter.
This bugged me so much that I went out and bought the TV series on DVD, and watched it. And I found out what I already knew, this series is terribly funny. I have no idea why I didn't laugh reading the book, maybe I just need the great performances to laugh at it. So I'm keeping the book, but rather than reading it again, I'll watch the DVD when I want to visit Fawlty Tower.
When I came across this book I hadn't seen the show for a number of years, so I bought it to revisit the establishment that had brought me so much enjoyment years before. And for the first time Fawlty Towers failed to amuse me. It's all there, all the words from the show, nothing beyond that, but that should have been enough. It just didn't bring me any laughter.
This bugged me so much that I went out and bought the TV series on DVD, and watched it. And I found out what I already knew, this series is terribly funny. I have no idea why I didn't laugh reading the book, maybe I just need the great performances to laugh at it. So I'm keeping the book, but rather than reading it again, I'll watch the DVD when I want to visit Fawlty Tower.
April 7, 2017
It was fun to read the scripts, they are just as funny on paper, and they brought back memories of watching the show with my sister. The only thing missing are the opening hotel signs that begin each episode. Instead of reading the name Fawlty Towers, the hotel sign might read Farty Towels or Flowery Twats, or some other variation of the hotel name. That was part of the twisted charm of the show. Now I need to get a hold of some Blackadder scripts…..
March 28, 2019
Running a hotel isn't easy. Especially when you can't get the staff... or the right calibre of guests.
Basil Fawlty manages his hotel with as much charm as he can muster. Unfortunately, he can't muster much.
'Fawlty Towers' is one of the shining stars of British comedy. Cleese and Booth's pacing, style and remarkable wit make this a timeless classic.
Basil Fawlty manages his hotel with as much charm as he can muster. Unfortunately, he can't muster much.
'Fawlty Towers' is one of the shining stars of British comedy. Cleese and Booth's pacing, style and remarkable wit make this a timeless classic.
June 3, 2008
Nothing ever was, is, or ever will be this funny again.
Favorite moment: Manuel (lying on the floor): "Is alright - I die here."
Favorite moment: Manuel (lying on the floor): "Is alright - I die here."
July 24, 2022
I didn’t know the BBC did radio versions of their classic TV shows until I ran across this. It’s a soundtrack of the original episodes of the TV show. It’s not a new version; it’s an edited version of the original soundtrack recording. The actors aren’t reprising their roles, though the soundtracks have been edited for radio. Here, for the visual parts of the show, Andrew Sachs narrates them, in the character of Manuel. It’s brilliant. This is a show I know very well, and getting to listen to it as a radio show was a delight. Long car rides are all the more enjoyable with the antics of Fawlty Towers to listen to.
August 10, 2014
I enjoyed reading the scripts just as much as I did watching the series. I was thrilled to learn that this book even existed (thanks, Patrick)and just had to add to my collection. I especially loved reading the script to my favorite episode, The Germans. How Cleese managed to pack in so much activity and humor in about a 22 min show is beyond me - pure genius!
April 3, 2024
Loved the program when I watched it & did have soundtrack of a few episodes when I was young. Although I know the Mrs Richards episode off by heart it still makes me laugh out loud. On audiobook John Cleese does talk about his inspirations for the episode & Andrew Sachs does give commentary to explain certain parts but there are a number of visual jokes that are not explained which are better if you know the episode but if you do not get the little joke it is not very important.
October 21, 2011
So my daily poetry initiative has proven itself a mixed grocery bag of the fruitful, the fruitless, and the oftentimes downright fruity.
Entirely proud I am of my latest creation, The Last Rose of Summer , whereby I deftly illustrate my foray into the medical condition known as puppy love by introducing one Elizabeth Schoolbred, now deceased, a former tomboy that I once had the pleasure to size up for quality footwear consideration near a romantic cottage in Morris Bay.
As I was only part-time at the quality footwear outlet I looked upon the career girl Elizabeth with envy due to her obtainment of company-provided healthcare. Additionally, I took the time, energy, and effort to sincerely note that Elizabeth had a hairstyle that suited her.
None of these mentionables are contained within my poem, however, because my medium is that of entirely unreadable two-line stanzas with no more than five unique phonic sounds per line. So consider this information I've just blessed you with a me-to-you VH1-like brand of Behind the Scenes -type gleaning.
Poetry is certainly easy for me under these pristine conditions [see entire paragraph before this sentence], and I can now wholeheartedly state emphatically to this entire United Nation that I obviously do not perform my best work under duress because, as memory serves, I was in a special type of bliss during these aforementioned events.
Entirely proud I am of my latest creation, The Last Rose of Summer , whereby I deftly illustrate my foray into the medical condition known as puppy love by introducing one Elizabeth Schoolbred, now deceased, a former tomboy that I once had the pleasure to size up for quality footwear consideration near a romantic cottage in Morris Bay.
As I was only part-time at the quality footwear outlet I looked upon the career girl Elizabeth with envy due to her obtainment of company-provided healthcare. Additionally, I took the time, energy, and effort to sincerely note that Elizabeth had a hairstyle that suited her.
None of these mentionables are contained within my poem, however, because my medium is that of entirely unreadable two-line stanzas with no more than five unique phonic sounds per line. So consider this information I've just blessed you with a me-to-you VH1-like brand of Behind the Scenes -type gleaning.
Poetry is certainly easy for me under these pristine conditions [see entire paragraph before this sentence], and I can now wholeheartedly state emphatically to this entire United Nation that I obviously do not perform my best work under duress because, as memory serves, I was in a special type of bliss during these aforementioned events.
December 4, 2017
You probably have to have seen the series to appreciate reading the scripts. John Cleese's sarcastic retorts and slow burns are better seen than read.
November 8, 2017
I only half-liked Fawlty Towers when watching it. I thought that it might be something in the language barrier (not being a mother-tounge English speaker myself), or maybe a cultural understanding that is needed. The book didn't make it better. At some parts I just got annoyed as the comedy tried to force itself upon me - at such times when Fawlty (it's usually him) chooses to make an absolutely idiotic and illogical choice, one that most people won't do, and then the consequences become unavoidable and somewhat-comic. That really irritated me, when watching and when reading.
November 28, 2025
Fawlty Towers is de grappigste serie die ik ooit op TV heb gezien. Als tiener viel ik geregeld uit de zetel, rollend over de grond en tranen huilend van het lachen. De meeste afleveringen heb ik nu 10 à 20 keer gezien, en nu, op gevorderde leeftijd, blijf ik wel in mijn zetel zitten, maar lachen moet ik nog steeds. Je moet het natuurlijk eigenlijk zien op het scherm, maar deze geschreven tekst laat je de laatste finesses en de genialiteit nog eens herbeleven. Onovertroffen op 50 jaar TV.
March 1, 2023
Highly entertaining radio adaption of the classic sitcom. I can't remember how many times I laughed out loud during it I really enjoyed the introductions to each episode by John Cleese. It gave a bit of an insight into each episode and was very funny.
January 29, 2008
Hilarious - the scripts from the TV series - just takes you right back there!
April 3, 2008
This book contains the script for every episode of Fawlty Towers. Even reading them makes me laugh out loud!
March 24, 2012
Just as good as the television series. Knocked off a star because Cleese's expressions don't work in book form.
May 26, 2012
Exquisitely crafted television.
October 19, 2017
well written scripts; good bones for the performances
November 18, 2017
I loved Fawlty Towers back in the day, but it doesn't seem to have held up for me.
June 23, 2022
I’ve seen the comedy of faulty towers manny times and now I’ve had the chance to read this script book, at times I got the voice of victor Meldrew in my head when I read the mr faulty parts and they do seem to be quite similar as characters.
I’ve not long finished reading the one food in the grave book I found that one much more entertaining than this book.
Faulty towers is much better on screen, I don’t think it’s overly exciting as a book.
I’ve not long finished reading the one food in the grave book I found that one much more entertaining than this book.
Faulty towers is much better on screen, I don’t think it’s overly exciting as a book.
January 9, 2025
I enjoyed reading the scripts just as much as I did watching the series. I was thrilled to learn that this book even existed (thanks, Patrick)and just had to add to my collection. I especially loved reading the script to my favorite episode, The Germans. How Cleese managed to pack in so much activity and humor in about a 22 min show is beyond me - pure genius!
January 17, 2018
I love Fawlty Towers (5 stars) but reading the dialogue in a book is not very funny at all.
May 24, 2018
Wonderful to listen to - laugh out loud in lots of places.
March 6, 2019
I've been a fan of the series for many years. Reading this was great, I could see and hear everything just as it was in the shows.
November 4, 2019
#143 of 150 books pledged to read during 2019.
December 17, 2019
legendary....natch!
June 24, 2020
Excellent scripts! Wish there had been more episodes
May 12, 2025
Because so much of the comedy depends on seeing the comics interact, the scripts of the shows read less amusing than the action would show. I can imagine some of it and enjoyed the laughs.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews