Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior

by Kimberly Wagner

Do you ever get the idea that being a godly wife means you need to be a mousy doormat? Be as unnoticeable as a doorknob? Or have a personality transplant?

"Fierce The Power of a Soft Warrior, "smashes that idea. No matter whether you're an extrovert or more introverted-Kimberly Wagner believes women are created to be a compelling force.

You may not see yourself as beautifully fierce or even slightly strong, but what if God has placed a powerful fierceness within you, within every woman? Kim admits her fierceness became a source of conflict in her marriage, but the relationship dynamic totally changed when she discovered her fierce strengths could be used to encourage and inspire her husband. She invites you to come alongside as she takes an honest look at a destructive relationship dynamic and casts a vision for the transformation God can bring to troubled marriages.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living, Womens

287 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2012

About the author

Kimberly Wagner is the author of Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior. Spreading God’s glory is Kim’s deepest passion. Her desire for women to connect with Christ is woven through everything she writes and every message she delivers. You can read her daily blog at kimberlywagner.org, where she encourages women to be students of the Word. Kim is a frequent guest on the Revive Our Hearts radio program, as well as a regular contributor to the True Woman blog. She is married to her favorite pastor, LeRoy Wagner, and they enjoy hanging out with their adult children and growing tribe of grandchildren.

Reviews

[Maddly Peculiar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Okay, so admittedly I bought this book online and wasn’t totally clear on what I was getting. I thought I was getting a book about fierce women who stood up to the devil and the world to fight for our God. Women like Saint Joan of Arc, Mary Magdalene, and Mary Mother of God would be showcased and admired for their fierce beauty. What I got was a step by step guide on how to shirk yourself down to be the perfect bite size for your meek husband. I don’t think this is a good Christian book nor would I look to this book for marriage advice. Or womanly advice. Or even a sweet tea recipe.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads' First Reads giveaway*

The gist:
Kimberly Wagner uses her story as a platform to show God's power to bring hope and healing to any marriage in desperation. Though her own marriage was once marked by loneliness and bitterness, she speaks with authority about how God has revived her marriage to show His glory.

What I liked:
I really loved the format of the book. It was an easy read in the sense that I didn't have to put on my "theology hat" to comprehend what she was saying. However, there was also great depth, especially with the "Heart Issues" at the end of each chapter that drove readers to the ultimate source of hope and truth: The Word of God. Kimberly Wagner intermingled her own testimony with truth from Scripture, and the result was like having a conversation with a good friend who has soaked in God's presence.
I also appreciated the wide range of issues Wagner covered, from homosexuality, to feminism, to spousal abuse. She provided perspective to her story without getting bogged down in academic language.

What I didn't:
My only critique is minuscule, but I really don't think the title fits the book. The first chapter talks about how being a fierce woman can be either good or bad, but throughout the book any time the term "fierce woman" is used, it is followed by the description of a "soft warrior." In other words, being a "soft warrior" seemed to be more of the goal than being a "fierce woman." The title should have been flipped, in my opinion.

I value this book as a resource for any marriage, especially for women who long to honor God with their relationship to their husband but don't know where to begin. Kimberly Wagner's honesty and her unwavering faith in God will bring hope nothing else can!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did give 3 stars as this book may be helpful to some, perhaps a counseling tool for others.
This book has a target audience, but I did struggle with many parts of it. It wasn't what she said, but some of the conclusions she came to and the premises used to get there.
Part of what should have been considered are the age of the person, cultural aspects (i.e. the "why" of wearing a white wedding gown, not all cultures wear white), and the concept of collaboration, to name a few.
Reading other reviews someone mentioned changing the title ~ I would agree. There can be strength in being a fierce woman, one just needs to learn how to be this way and consider how the treatment of others is important as a reflection of the love that should be shown to all, especially one's spouse.

[Lena King · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to steel myself to read this book - not another book on how to be a better wife and mother!
I have been looking for a thoroughly biblical book on women, which allowed women to be varied and strong, this book does that. I was also looking for a book that used a wealth of biblical passages, and not just the well known "women's verses", to train, guide, encourage and correct women seeking to live right before God. Again, this book does that. Thirdly, I hoped for a book that didn't appear to be saying that if your husband wasn't stepping up to the mark you were probably to blame. Unfortunately for me, although Wagner repeats on a few occasions that she's not saying "it's all your fault" it certainly feels like she's saying that it is. Perhaps I'm over sensitive. Another concern for me about the book was that the author rather stereotyped men into all actually wanting to be like Pa from Little House on the Prairie! Real action men, hunting, fixing, working big machines.
That said, I really appreciated the bible studies at the end of each chapter and some of the real life stories were moving and challenging. Wagner doesn't skirt around the pain and mess of life.
I would recommend this book but perhaps I'd suggest starting at the end! Just read chapters 10, 11 and 12 prayerfully then see if you're up to reading the rest, from the beginning.

[Susanne Huizing · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I read this 30 years ago. So much wisdom that reminds us of why we get married and the joy in fighting for each other. Love is a daily recommitment that needs to be fiercely protected.

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life-changing book. Highly recommend.

[Angelyn Vaughan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is full of unflinching truth, for which it probably deserves at least 4 stars. But I didn't realize that it would be solely focused on marriage and evolve into the kind of book I've already practically memorized. It strayed from dealing specifically with "fierce" women to addressing marriage in general. I was hoping for more guidance to deal with coworkers, friends, church members, and even strangers with grace to temper my fierceness, but almost all of the content of this book applies only to a marriage relationship. Also, I was hoping for a more complete look at how my sometimes ugly "fierceness" can be channeled toward God's glory. I can think of some very fierce women, both married and single, whose fierceness was instrumental in God's plan for their lives (like Amy Carmichael and Elisabeth Elliott). I wish the book had taken a turn in this direction. Or had an entirely different title so I could know what to expect. Also, Wagner writes with solid theology, but her arguments and explanations for complimentarian, heterosexual marriage are fairly circuitous and would be unconvincing and hard to follow for a non-Christian or a new convert. Still, it's full of convicting truth and practical guidance for any married woman.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet book full of rich encouragement on how to biblically and practically love our husbands well and live as a soft warrior in a culture that tells us to find our identity in our fierceness, independence, and self-centered agendas. We speak our minds and justify our self-pity, and shape our men into our image, our box. We've redefined the 'helper' role. Kim says, "We girls love the helper role! That's what gives me permission to whip my man into shape!"

I loved her definition: "the truly beautifully fierce woman has an otherworldly strength derived from a source beyond herself. She's plunged fully to the forgiveness and love of Christ, and He holds her heart so completely that's she's reached true contentment. Her identity is forged through abiding in Him, and her courage is displayed by her commitment to Him and His cause." Now that's something I should read every morning that I might live passionately for God's glory in all things!

There's something greater happening here in my marriage then just me and my happiness. It's a picture of the how the infinite God has wed the finite, His bride, the church. "Marriage is God's platform that displays to the watching world a physical picture of a spiritual reality. Marriage is God's personal symbol and signature."

[Leah Good · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do you voice needs, concerns, hopes, and suggestions in a way that builds people up rather than tear them down? That's what this book is about. The author focuses on the importance of wives using their influence in a way that positively influences their husbands instead of convincing him that she considers him to be a failure.

The title made me hope this book was going to focus more on how women with more type A, aggressive personalities can use their fierceness for God's glory. It turned out to be more of a marriage-help book. Oh well.

Overall, I didn't agree with everything Wagner had to say, but I appreciated many of her points. It was really interesting listening to this book alongside some of the recent Uniquely Woman podcasts about "Things the Bible Doesn't Say About Women." It was interesting to see where they agreed and where the opinions were counterpoints to one another.

[Shola · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book for women on relationship......informing , researched and inspired by the spirit God. This book will convict you, no matter how long you have been married. Every woman should read this book , either you are in marital Bliss or Blizzard. One can learn from her personal experience and also from her years in ministry....No sugar coating!!, she gives you the truth in chunks....you have to pause to digest.

[Amelia McCall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of books about marriage, but this one affected me more deeply than any I have read. I felt it was written specifically to me.

[Alia Etter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stars: 4.5

Thoughts:
Growing up my family had a joke: “God gave us a household of natural leaders and then made them all women so they would have to learn to submit”. This was said in good fun, but for a long time I have wrestled with understanding of why God would give me a strong personality and then put me in situations where I felt like I had to make that part of me invisible if I wanted to be godly enough. Reading this book felt like freedom from that belief. Wagner holds the same views as I do on gender roles within the church, but she doesn’t believe that women have to make themselves small to walk in godliness. She embraces femininity while not sacrificing the way that God made her. She shows both the way in which God is glorified in the fierce personalities, but also warns against weaponizing that characteristic against the people in our lives.

Age Recommendation: 17+

Notable Quotes:

I am including the below quote from the appendix because if all you get from the book is the below, I think it can be so helpful as a guide:

Characteristics of a destructive fierce woman
1. She has established herself as her own authority, her identity flows from the faulty perception that she’s in charge of her life and her independence is her highest value
2. She’s always pulled by the lure of more, her desires are never satisfied
3. She’s unaware that ingratitude, pride, and fear are the driving components of her life
4. She’s passionate about things that matter to her, she lives with a self centered agenda
5. She longs for love and affection, but can come out swinging if rejected
6. She goes to battle often, mistaking her belligerence for heroism
7. She grabs for power and no one and nothing prevents her from getting her way
8. She uses her strength to bully others. She may not recognize it as bullying but her continual criticisms, negative perspectives, and harsh tones are like acid
9. She’s harsh and blunt in her honesty, and proud of it
10. She is often involved in conflicts with others
11. She may claim God’s word is her ultimate authority, but her study is merely academic—it doesn’t affect how she treats others
12. She usually has no trouble confronting, but her motive is for personal gain or comfort and her reproach is demeaning
13. She walks in arrogance and pride but is blind to her lack of humility. She views meek behavior as a sign of weakness. She sincerely believes her personal conflicts stem from others ineptness, lack of spirituality, or inferior behavior
14. She craves power over others and has mastered the art of controlling them through subtle manipulation
15. Although she may not admit it, her life is devoted to selfish pursuit. She’s only satisfied when she gets her own way—she’s unhappy with anything less

Characteristics of a beautifully fierce woman
1. Her identity and value are rooted in her relationship with Christ rather than a relationship with a man
2. She’s filled with gratitude for God’s good gifts, her heart is ruled by the peace of contentment
3. She courageously faces her fears rather than running or hiding in shame
4. She’s passionate about things that matter rather than living for the trivial
5. She loves God and others, she’s more focused on giving love than getting love
6. She’s willing to battle for a worthy cause rather than shrinking in defeat
7. She grabs the hem of God’s will and doesn’t let go
8. She protects and defends the helpless rather than suing her strength to bully others—she’s is known as a sincere encourager
9. She is honest, but kind
10. Others feel comfortable in seeking her counsel
11. She embraces God’s word as her ultimate authority rather than being swayed by the voices of the culture
12. She faithfully confronts by speaking truth in love rather than enabling sin by keeping silent
13. She walks in confidence and humility that flow from her recognition of Christ’s work of grace in her life
14. She has the power to influence and inspire because she lives under the Spirit’s control
15. Her life is lived all out for God’s glory, rather than the smallness of self

[Ryan Rench · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm married to a good version of a fierce woman, but counsel a lot of the not-so-good kind! This book is excellent to help ladies influence their home THROUGH their ferocity! :) This is the story of one lady, so it may not apply to everyone, but I still believe the principles can be good for every marriage. It's got great tips for every seemingly hopeless marriage situation. It's not framed as though every marriage problem is the fierce woman's fault, but it does tell the story of how once SHE changed, her marriage changed.
I genuinely want to help fierce women, not pile on them, and this is a great help toward that.

[Jennifer Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely one to revisit. For someone with a strong personality, I found it very helpful.

[Morgan Farr · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to start by saying that I bought this book REALLY wanting to like it. My husband read the companion book Men Who Love Fierce Women: The Power of Servant Leadership first and he LOVED it. Since Fierce Women had the stamp from The True Woman Movement I assumed that this book would be as good as the others in that collection.
Sadly I was mistaken.

This book is not a guide for women on how to be both strong and Christians at the same time. This is a marriage book geared towards softening a woman's personality and wiring to be less confrontational. While it may be titled Fierce Women, this book is all about becoming softer and less abrasive to people around you, specifically your spouse.

The portion of this book dealing with a husband's unrepentant sin just really put me off.

On page 224 after saying that it is ok to confront sin in your marriage, Wagner then follows that statement up with, "If you release expectations and find joy in your relationship with Christ, you will reach a level of surrender that provides contentment no matter what your husband chooses."

Those two statements counteract one another. How can you release expectations and confront sin at the same time? If you have no expectations then you cannot expect someone to stop sinning.

This to me is slinging a bunch of buzz phrases together about a topic that is sensitive and demands clear instruction and biblical discernment not platitudes that you would find on a a coffee mug.

This book doesn't address fierceness in terms of anything but as a wife. It is almost like this book was written in anticipation of the second book about loving fierce women. It smacks of the idea that a woman exists only in relation to her husband. In light of that, I have to give this book 2 stars. It is theologically sound and it is well written but that is about it. I would have liked to see a guide on how to be a fierce woman in other situations: work, school, with family, in positions of authority, volunteering, and the like. Women are multidimensional, even strong women in the Christian faith.

[Christiana Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book generally thoughtful, and I appreciated several of Wagner's insights on biblical truths and how those tend to play out in our lives. This book is definitely written for married, christian women, and I don't think that people outside of the target audience will find it particularly helpful. As a single woman, I can get creative and see how the general principles she is talking about apply to my life, but a significant portion of the book is focused on applications specifically in the context of marriage.

Can this book be useful for a single woman hoping to get married some day or preparing for marriage? I would say yes, but I've personally found other books that covered similar ideas without needing to wade through so much that didn't relate well to my life. Many of the truths she is writing about are overarching, and I like the concept of good, God-honoring fierceness in women and wrestling with how that fits with other biblical instruction on womanhood/marriage, but her writing is very season/role specific.

The most helpful/enjoyable part for me was her examination of how ingratitude, pride, and fear together can affect women and turn fierceness into a destructive force. Although much of writing about this was focused within the context of marriage, it was clear how these emotions compound each other in our relationship with the Lord. My main criticism of the content is that there were places where she presented opinions that seemed extremely culture-specific as though they were objective truth. Some of these could have been remedied by more in-depth biblical exegesis and explanation, while others seemed completely culturally based and outside of clear scriptural instruction.

*I read this as part of my 2017 Reading Challenge for the category "A book targeted at your gender"

[Ashley Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I had hoped for.

I'm one of the few who didn't think this book blew them out of the water. I was disappointed that this book focused only on marriage (not even dating relationships) and didn't provide other guidance on how to be a "soft warrior" in other areas of life. Although I can appreciate her open vulnerability about the struggles in her own marriage, I struggled to see the connection for how these principles can be useful in my happy relationship except as huge (and necessary) BEWARE signs of what could happen. I struggled a little as well with a common thread that women may be to blame for a husband's "shortcomings". My partner loves to watch his sports... he could watch them for hours a day. Does his way to unwind after a long day directly correlate with my "pushy" personailty? Not at all because I like to read it knit. Although the intention of this book is obviously targeted to a specific audience, it didn't captivated in the ways I had hoped. Mainly, in how to embrace my God-given fierceness to do his good and not try to save a marriage that I'm not already drowning in.

[Angelise Schrader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed something for me. I always thought "Christian woman" had to be these soft doormats. What do I do with my fierce and fiery personality? And then I ran into this book. #Gamechanger

God made you strong, sister. But fire can be dangerous when left without borders. But fire within structured bounds, it's powerful enough to sustain the warmth needed for life and sustenance. Even as He calls you to walk in submission with His structure (yes I said the s word!), He calls you to be all He created you to be. He knows that even in this imperfect world, you can experience the fullness of life that He designed. But you have to do it His way and not yours. When we learn to submit the strength He has placed in us to His beautiful design, we will experience the dynamic strength found in a woman who walks in alignment with God. It's about learning the power of a soft warrior!

[Amy Bakke · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m not saying she has no good points but man should just be titled how to not be a bitch. I’m sure there are women that need to hear this but most of the women I know need to have better boundaries and quit being such doormats. I found most of her points pretty pedestrian, also her take in the whole garden if eden thing, pretty sure she wasn’t there so why does she assume that Eve was rebellious and purposely tempting her husband rather than being hoodwinked. Pretty sure he was standing right there, why didn’t he say anything?

Also I am so sick of hearing how all women want to control and manipulate. Really? Most women want to feel safe. The primary reason that I see for manipulation is fear and feeling unsafe. Usually as a result of a abuse or lack of trust due to abuse.



Though she does follow McArthur so no surprises there

Blah. Not everyone is Brene Brown

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

If God wanted women to only be demure creatures, why did He create strong-willed women? This is a question I have lived with for most of my life, without answers.

I read this book based on a friend’s recommendation—as a fellow strong-willed woman—and I’m glad I did. It didn’t address every nuance I had hoped for, and I didn’t find every point particularly helpful, but it wasn’t a waste of my time.

In this book, Kimberley Wagner discusses the struggle of being a bold and leadership-oriented woman in Christian circles, and she unveils her own journey toward growing in grace. While I disagreed with some of her conclusions, this book forced me to consider some questions I had previously avoided.

Overall, an interesting read—one that required both humility and discernment.

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not for the faint of heart. This is an incredible book that pulls no punches. Very challenging and potentially life changing. She is honest and I think absolutley truthfull about biblical womanhood and backs it all up with scripture. My Ladies group did this as a study. Inspired great conversation and even a few debates. The questions at the end of each chapter are worthwhile on your own or in a group. I highly recommend this book.

[Ashley Bigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was easy to read and understand, but very challenging. The author's points are Biblically sound and she speaks from personal experience on how these principles have changed her life. I would recommend this book to any Christian woman who wants to grow in Christ and wants her marriage to be God-honoring.

[Shouna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope

I feel like this book wasn’t about being fierce. It was about changing most things about yourself to be a good wife, mother, friend, etc.

[Bethany Beasley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Immorality springs from an idolatrous heart... it is the heart seeking satisfaction in places other than in Christ.

"Love is our primary ‘affection,'
the fountain of all our other heart experiences." JONATHAN EDWARDS

humility's view of self is eclipsed by a right view of God. In reality, humility has little to do with how I see myself but has everything to do with how I see God.

CSLewis “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless —it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetra-ble, irredeemable.”

The pursuit of love can only come by traveling the road of humility. Love is not self-seeking, thus love must be birthed through humility. At the bowing of the head, the humbling of the heart, grace finds entrance. And grace empowers a fierce woman to truly love.

If I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love."
— AMY CARMICHAEL

Going to the cross and focusing on the forgiveness I've been shown by a sinless Savior gives me the only perspective for understanding and offering forgiveness.

Questions to Loosen Your Grip:
- * Is this temporary or eternal?
Will this really matter a month from now, a year from now, in eternity?
* Who is benefitted by my hanging on to this?
What is the worst that can happen if I let this go?
* Am I operating in fear or in faith by holding on to this?
Will holding on to this be harmful to my walk with God? To our marriage?
* Is holding on to this worth the potential of crushing my husband's spirit?
* When I stand before God one day, will He commend me for keeping a death grip on this?

Contentment flows from a heart that's settled the three most important truths of life:
* God is God. He is sovereign and working all things out according to His plan.
*God is good. I can trust His provision, His plans, and His personal work in my life because He is trustworthy.
* God is worthy of all my worship. He is my greatest treasure. He is where my heart is; all my deepest longings are fulfilled in Him. He is my complete sufficiency and who I most value.


I can find joy in the daily moments of my life, knowing each one is a gift from the Father and worthy of my gratitude.

Although the house was basically the same when I left as when we moved in, my heart wasn't. My heart was changed. The flea house served as a refining tool to take me to a deeper level of surrender and eventually contentment.

Contentment is surrender's sweet spot. It's rooted in peace and its reward is joy. Contentment is gratitude's fuel. Contentment flows from a heart that says, "Yes, Lord"

According to a recent CNN article, eighteen- to thirty-four-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than twelve- to seventeen-year-old boys.

"It was as if they were not making marriage, but being made by it, and, while it held them, time and their lives flowed over them, like swift water over stones, rubbing them together, grinding off their edges, making them fit together, fit to be together, in the only way that fragments can be rejoined."
— WENDELL BARRY

Prayerfully read through Ephesians 3.
Four times (depending on your translation) Paul uses the word "mystery” referring to the hidden work of the gospel that God is now revealing. According to verse 10, God is putting this amazing mystery on display for the angels to see what He's hidden for ages. They've longed to see and discover this mystery (1 Peter 1:12).

Paul's heart was fully captured by Christ. He'd settled the issue of ownership long before his imprisonment. He was Christ's bondslave, and in this position of slave—because he was submitted entirely to God's authority-Paul was actually in the greatest position of influence possible.


let's look at three "exchanges" that take place as recorded in Romans 1.
- Exchanging: the glory of immortal God for images resembling mortal man (vv. 22-23): "Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
-Exchanging: the truth about God for a lie (v. 25): "They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever!"
-Exchanging: natural sexual relations for unnatural sexual relations (vv. 26-27): "For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another."

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I would recommend this book and found it to have a lot of good content. However, I was not a fan of the audiobook reader and I don't like the author's flowery type speech. I am nota girl who grew up pining for my wedding day and I get really annoyed with the numerous christian women's books (this one included) that paint a broad stroke picture of women as pining for a prince and detailing their wedding since childhood. I agree with the Biblical standards for marriage but not the flowery sentiments added on. This book was eye opening and convicting and I am adding it to my list of recommended reads, but with a preface. ( I might add that I don't even like the Title.) I do really like the points she brings up, the fact that she uses real stories from real lives and the overall message of fixing oneself rather than trying to fix your spouse. With all that being said, please do read it. I think it would be good for all women to read if they can sift through some of the fluff parts and get to the meat. p.s. This book is basically for women who are married, it might be useful for those just before getting married but the topic is marriage. I'm adding this note because I don't think the front of the book communicates that very well. This isn't about being a fierce woman or whatever in general, it is specific to marriage. Again, not a good title.

[Caila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know why I’m always so amazed when I read nonfiction Christian novels! I love them almost every time, and this is no exception! Even though I am not married, I have read so many amazing stories in this book about what a godly marriage should be. I see myself in so many of the authors stories and it’s comforting to know that I am not alone in my thinking and actions, however scary those thoughts and actions are. It’s also comforting to know that God’s grace and love saves me from those sinful ways and he has a clear path for my relationship! I already feel a difference in my relationship with my bf and with God through all of the helpful guidance and words of encouragement that Kimberly gives in this book! I highly recommend this book for any married woman out there that is seeking a real change in their marriage! Kimberly does an amazing job explaining that the first step in fixing your marriage or increasing your marriage starts with your relationship with God and is followed with your attitude towards your husband! I will definitely be repeating this book in my first year of marriage! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Andriana Lis · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Fierce Women discusses how ingratitude and pride can be destructive in marriage. There are some good principles and helpful reminders about contentment, humility, empathy, gratitude, and peace. However, since I listened to this audiobook for a church book club, a lot of the information wasn’t new to me or personally relevant.

The tone felt more negative than I expected, and many of the examples didn’t apply to my marriage or personality. I’m imperfect (of course) and there were good reminders, but I’m naturally very empathetic, and my husband and I have an emotionally and spiritually healthy marriage, so I don’t think I was the intended audience. Some of the author’s stances and examples of never leaving a marriage also seemed extreme and biblically questionable (in cases of sexual immorality and physical abuse).

Overall, I appreciate the intention behind the book and the principles it reinforces, but I didn’t get much out of it. I can definitely see this book being more helpful and impactful for someone dealing with tension or unhealthy patterns in their marriage (ex: anger or control issues).

[Sonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read the book, I found myself pausing quite frequently to reflect on the topics brought up. There were many moments when I would share what I read with my husband, and we'd discuss how it pertains to our marriage, so that was a great effect of this book. I believe the lessons I've taken from this book can not only be applied to my relationship with my husband, but with other relationships as well.

There were some conclusions in the book that I felt weren't fully explained. There would be scripture, her interpretation of the scripture, and then her conclusion, but I felt like there was still a gap in the logic. Maybe it's because some of those logical leaps are so obvious to her, but for me I still am ruminating on things.

Overall, the fact that I'm still thinking about the book means that it was thought-provoking and a great tool to help me think about my relationship with God, with my husband, and with others.

[Emily Kidd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately...I'm single. This is unfortunate for numerous reasons, one of them being this book was aimed at married women! Haha. At least God's truths are applicable to everyone, some are just harder (or impossible!) to practice in current conditions, i.e. I can't submit to my husband bc I don't have one, but I CAN submit to the Bible's authority. So this book was still worth the read.

My advice: don't breeze through it. Pause and consider what Wagner is saying (Selah?), and then once you've wrestled (and hopefully agreed!) with whatever she's explaining, soak it in and prepare to live it out. She addresses hard truths but in a gentle, Christ-seeking manner enriched with personal experiences and accounts of subsequent growth. Well done.

Note: This book reminded me in severe ways of the book Captivating by Stasi Elderidge.
Note2: Read this again after you are married!

[Alice Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as a result of hearing the author on the radio. The term "fierce" is used to describe a strong woman who is willing to take on whatever is put before her and doesn't shy away from a difficult task or trouble. It is not a negative term. However, according to the author, some fierce women have not learned to function in their marriages the way God desires. The book teaches from the author's experience how to be a "soft warrior." This involves doing things God's way, which is described in the book. For a woman struggling with unmet expectations in her marriage, this book is valuable as a lesson or reminder in how to be the wife God blesses. This is the book's primary goal, but does address in a small way what to do if the husband is abusive or fails to fulfill his biblical role to "love his wife as Christ loves the church."