Ar jis yra tas Tikrasis?

by Mira Kirshenbaum, Laima Gylienė (Translator)

Ar norėtumėte turėti stiklinį rutulį, kuris parodytų, ar Jūsų vaikinas yra tas Tikrasis? Tikriausiai pavargote draugaudama su vaikinais, kurie Jums netinka? Jūs ne viena tokia. Daug merginų santykiuose su vaikinais priima netinkamus sprendimus ir įsipareigoja tiems, kurie nepadaro jų laimingų. Laikykite, kad dabar tokį stiklinį rutulį jau turite. Šioje knygoje plačiai pasaulyje žinoma žmonių santykių ekspertė ir bestselerių autorė Mira Kirshenbaum nagrinėja labai svarbų klausimą, į kurį daugumai merginų tenka atsakyti: „Ar tai tas vaikinas, kuriam turėčiau įsipareigoti?“

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help, Adult, Psychology

234 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Is he Mr. Right? I think the first chapter of this, with the five dimensions, is really worth a true five stars. So it does speak to how dragged out and progressively more pointless the rest was that 40% of those stars were knocked off. But the first chapter is fantastic.

[Scout Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me a long time to read. That was not because it was hard to get through, but I started reading a bunch of other books, and at about the 180 page mark I did not want the book to end! I wanted to retain what the author had written and not finish the book and forget 90% of it months later (as happens when you read a ton of books, especially on the same subject area).

The absolute best part of this book is the five dimensions of chemistry. The author says, if you don't have even ONE of the five dimensions - run, not walk, out of the relationship.

Reasons why this didn't get five stars:
a) The author can be incredibly judgmental at times. Not something I want to see in a relationship/self-help book.
Also, I feel, if the book were written in reverse, women might be offended by some of the language used. (It's not the same thing obviously, but generally this isn't a good sign).

b) The author encourages rejecting a ton of guys (which is fine), but by the end I'm left wondering... where does a guy like what the author says is out there exist? You have to have all the five dimensions of chemistry with him, he has to be ambitious, not have a bunch of annoying (to you) habits, etc. etc.... like what? WHERE IS HE

I have to go through my bookmarked pages so full review will be coming when I have time to do that.

[Skaistė Girtienė · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kartais norisi paskaityti kokią knygą apie santykius, smalsu, ką ten tokio pateiks, kiek tai bus nauja ar įdomu. O šios pavadinimas toks skambus, intriguojantis. Skaičiau prieš keletą metų, bet jau buvau primiršusi, apie ką rašo, tad nusprendžiau perskaityti dar kartą. Galbūt didesnį įspūdį paliko skaitant pirmą kartą, tačiau ir dabar man tai viena įdomiausių knygų apie santykius, kokią teko skaityti. Įdomus autorės aiškinimas, kas yra ta trauka ar chemija ir kokios jų sudedamosios dalys, bei aptarimas, kokie dalykai svarbūs santykiuose, kas gali jiems turėti įtakos, apie santykių etapus ir kas kiekviename iš jų svarbu.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I read this book my Freshman year of college because I kept finding myself dating guys that were not the best for me. This was a really good book to read to understand what types of things you should think about to truly determine if you have chemistry worthy of marriage or if it is just chemistry that is good for dating the guy for a period of time. The book challenges you to not settle and to truly look at all of the dimensions of chemistry to determine whether you are ready to commit. I'd say it's a good book, but it does drag on. I think the First few paragraphs were the only absolute necessary ones.

[McKenna White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thrifted this book lol. Definitely entertaining. I think Mira did a great job at showing what the 5 really important components are to have a successful marriage/relationship. These really resonated with me and I loved her style of writing. I’ve noticed these sort of books do get repetitive & that is the only downside in my opinion. Sorta outdated though.

[Amberly Geoghegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The elusive chemistry, and why it's so important, defined! You'll learn if you have or if you don't and how it can -and can't - change over time, based on decades of research. I wish I had read this book years ago and would recommend it for every woman (and man!).

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haha! Yeah I read this. Thank you to my BFF Megan for suggesting it to me. She is right, the advice works for both genders.

[Juste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Šitą knygą pasiėmiau į rankas svečiuodamasi pas mamą. Vien dėl pavadinimo buvo smalsu, kas čia per rašliava. Tikėjausi, kad knyga bus visai nevykusi. Bet tik pradėjus skaityti ją ji labai užkabino. Knygoje rašoma apie trauką ir penkis jos elementus. Bet kalbama ne tik apie fizinę trauką. Autorė labai aiškiai išdėsto informaciją or pavyzdžius ir knygą labai gerai skaitosi. Manau šią knygą turėtų perskaityti kiekviena moteris prieš pradedanti vystyti santykius ir visos jau esančios santykiuose. Labai gera ir vertinga knygą.


"Svarbiausias kriterijus ieškant to Tikrojo turėtų būti trauka. Jei perkant namą svarbiausias dalykas yra vieta, vieta ir dar karta vieta, tai poros santykiuose sėkmę lemia ne kas kitas, o trauka. " 22psl.

"Kol vienas kitam neatsiskleisite kaip realūs žmonės realios kasdienybės fone, tol patvirtinti, kad abipusė trauka yra tokia stipri, kaip jūs manote, negalėsite." 45psl.

"Pasitikėjimas yra viena iš būtinų traukos atsiradimo sąlygų." 105 psl.

"Kaip galite matyti, koks jis yra iš tikrųių, jeigu neparodote tikrosios savęs?" 178psl.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know what? This is a great book. I am a fan of self help books but generally books about how to do your relationship or snag a man make my blood curdle. This book does something most books of its genre do not: it doesn't blame women for everything related to love and relationships. Instead, it uses a pretty logical system for evaluating how you know if you've found a life-long partner. The first part of the book digs into the actual types of chemistry but the rest of it goes into more detail about when to do the evaluation (not in the honeymoon phase) and all the lies we tell ourselves when we want to experience love (he'll change!). She also does a good job talking about when a woman might not be ready for a relationship. It's an easily digestible book and the only other relationship book I would ever cite, save for the 5 languages of love.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book if you are dating and want guidaince on using your judgment.

[Leticia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Has interesting questions every person should consider before committing.

[Modesta Janavičiūtė]

Added it