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Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment
After many years of exploration, Diana Richardson found that the ancient practice of Tantra, with its unique, intelligent approach to sex, had the effect of enhancing intimacy and deepening love. Here she has adapted Tantra for modern Western lovers in a practical, sympathetic way. Tantric Sex can transform your experience into a more sensual, loving and fulfilling one.
260 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 9, 2003
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
January 26, 2011
I found this book to be kind of like a feminist (though not politically oriented) view of sex, even though I haven't really read much feminist critiques of sex. But, in general, the ideas presented in this book lead to, as well as come from an equal relationship; in this author's view sex is really a meeting of equals, or it ends up being unsatisfactory or at least unmindful for both, in the long run. i also found the book to be open to non-hetero sex, though it's been a while since I've read it so I could be a little off there. The most interesting thing about it is its critique of Western sex as being driven to achieve "climax" in a way that takes away from the present moment. Sex can be seen as a meditation upon love, a meditation about desire. Also, it is interesting to hear what she has to say about the role of the man as the one with the appendage, so to speak.
The author advocates an awareness of being "in" sex rather than "having" sex. I have also found the book to be full of insight into couples and their relationships. It is a really great book. Now, i noticed that it is nearly all women who list this book. Being a guy, I expect some guys to be a bit skeptical about it, but I liked it.
The author advocates an awareness of being "in" sex rather than "having" sex. I have also found the book to be full of insight into couples and their relationships. It is a really great book. Now, i noticed that it is nearly all women who list this book. Being a guy, I expect some guys to be a bit skeptical about it, but I liked it.
February 4, 2021
Yes, one star despite that there are some valuable points in the book about meeting each other, practicing and cherishing being present (especially together) and so on.
BUT, the heteronormativity in this book makes me crazy, just like a lot of other tantric literature and tantra gurus. I get it, it is a part of some tantric practices over time but still. It’s time to update tantra to be more inclusive of not just “man and woman as polarities” focusing on genitalia and not mainly on the heteronormative agenda.
Also, when the author started talking about how women are more fragile and emotional I had had it. Yes, many men are emotionally repressed and challenged but that is much about culture and society, which this book at least indirectly adds to.
If a book on tantra, read Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas or Tantric Sex - The Complete Guide... by Stephanie Misty instead for more inclusiveness, wider perspectives and more ease of use.
BUT, the heteronormativity in this book makes me crazy, just like a lot of other tantric literature and tantra gurus. I get it, it is a part of some tantric practices over time but still. It’s time to update tantra to be more inclusive of not just “man and woman as polarities” focusing on genitalia and not mainly on the heteronormative agenda.
Also, when the author started talking about how women are more fragile and emotional I had had it. Yes, many men are emotionally repressed and challenged but that is much about culture and society, which this book at least indirectly adds to.
If a book on tantra, read Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas or Tantric Sex - The Complete Guide... by Stephanie Misty instead for more inclusiveness, wider perspectives and more ease of use.
April 18, 2019
I really struggled making it through this book. I found it lacking in engaging or practical information, filled with sexist, gender-specific and unsupported generalizations or “insights” into human behaviour and sexuality. Combined with a very loose and “fluffy” writing style, if it were not for having to write a formal review for a course, I would have shelved it after the first chapter.
Ok, now that the criticism is out of the way, I should also comment on what I liked about the book. As a beginners guide to Tantric Sex, I think it both failed and succeeded in providing an easy-to-follow introduction to the topic, with some pretty simple and even fun exercises which couples can use to explore their own sexual and spiritual relationship. For many couples, the possibility of slowing things down, becoming aware of the moment and each other, looking into their partner’s eyes and not even thinking about jumping on top of the other for 10 minutes of sweat and humping until orgasm, is a very foreign concept. Once arousal begins in many of us, we tend to allow those evolutionarily determined instincts to mount and come, to take over until we do. Sure some lovers are more attentive and aware of their partner’s needs and desires, but so much of the sex practised by many couples is routine, physical and driven my orgasm rather than mindful conscious awareness. The Heart of Tantric Sex certainly challenges one to reconsider old habits and practices around sex and if you are already spiritually inclined and familiar with mindfulness, then Diana Richardson’s coverage of mindful and Tantric sex will certainly encourage you to introduce these spiritual practices in the bedroom.
I also found a number of chapters which certainly reinforced some of the Tantric sexual practices that I am moderately familiar with as well covering some of the well-known ground which can often lead to sexual dissatisfaction or even dysfunction in a relationship The chapters I enjoyed the most were; Awareness of Body and Mind; The Breath; Communication; Soft Penetration; Foreplay Afresh; Non-Ejaculation; and The Love Temple. But I must say that the MOST enjoyable part of the entire book and which was written better, more clearly and succinctly with little or no “fluff” was the very last chapter, the “Afterword”, which really should have come first in the book.
“Drop All Masks. Be true. Reveal your whole heart; be nude. Between two lovers there should not be any secrets, otherwise love is not. Drop all secrecy. It is politics; secrecy is politics. It should not be in love. You should not hide anything. Whatsoever arises in your heart should remain transparent to your beloved, and whatsoever arises in her heart should remain transparent to you. You should become two transparent beings to each other. By and by, you will see that through each other you are growing to a higher unity.” (Osho: Yoga, The Alpha and Omega, Vol.10)
Ok, now that the criticism is out of the way, I should also comment on what I liked about the book. As a beginners guide to Tantric Sex, I think it both failed and succeeded in providing an easy-to-follow introduction to the topic, with some pretty simple and even fun exercises which couples can use to explore their own sexual and spiritual relationship. For many couples, the possibility of slowing things down, becoming aware of the moment and each other, looking into their partner’s eyes and not even thinking about jumping on top of the other for 10 minutes of sweat and humping until orgasm, is a very foreign concept. Once arousal begins in many of us, we tend to allow those evolutionarily determined instincts to mount and come, to take over until we do. Sure some lovers are more attentive and aware of their partner’s needs and desires, but so much of the sex practised by many couples is routine, physical and driven my orgasm rather than mindful conscious awareness. The Heart of Tantric Sex certainly challenges one to reconsider old habits and practices around sex and if you are already spiritually inclined and familiar with mindfulness, then Diana Richardson’s coverage of mindful and Tantric sex will certainly encourage you to introduce these spiritual practices in the bedroom.
I also found a number of chapters which certainly reinforced some of the Tantric sexual practices that I am moderately familiar with as well covering some of the well-known ground which can often lead to sexual dissatisfaction or even dysfunction in a relationship The chapters I enjoyed the most were; Awareness of Body and Mind; The Breath; Communication; Soft Penetration; Foreplay Afresh; Non-Ejaculation; and The Love Temple. But I must say that the MOST enjoyable part of the entire book and which was written better, more clearly and succinctly with little or no “fluff” was the very last chapter, the “Afterword”, which really should have come first in the book.
“Drop All Masks. Be true. Reveal your whole heart; be nude. Between two lovers there should not be any secrets, otherwise love is not. Drop all secrecy. It is politics; secrecy is politics. It should not be in love. You should not hide anything. Whatsoever arises in your heart should remain transparent to your beloved, and whatsoever arises in her heart should remain transparent to you. You should become two transparent beings to each other. By and by, you will see that through each other you are growing to a higher unity.” (Osho: Yoga, The Alpha and Omega, Vol.10)
January 9, 2011
12.12.10: This book is so healing and full of love. The way it speaks about sex is what sex is meant to be.
October 10, 2021
When I realized that I had made love repeatedly, but still had no real understanding of how sexual energy functioned, I decided to begin a sincere exploration into the mysterious matter of sex. What motivated me in my exploration, and kept me going when I felt discouraged, was that here and there in my life were scattered moments of love that were glaringly different from the rest. When they occurred, time seemed to stop, become elastic, and the air, the space around me opened up to reveal a new dimension of sensual perception. It was as if I was suddenly truly alive and an inner body intelligence took over. I hadn't a clue how and why this happened but it gave me hope that there was something fundamental about sex that I had still to discover. Today, I know I am not alone.
While a couple may continue to love each other, the sexual attraction often dies and they stop expressing their love for each other in a physical way. Sooner or later they might even find themselves deciding to separate. And yet for us all the search for this expression of love goes on, generated by a deep longing that seldom goes away. After researching intensively for many years I discovered that it was the experience of Tantra, that of relaxing into the sex energy rather than putting pressure on it, which gave me what I had longed for intuitively throughout my life. It was like finding a series of keys, which opened door upon door. It was a process of uncovering age-old secrets about sexual energy that touched my spirit, bringing me to an unexpected inner peace.
I have a friend who was in a dilemma. In love with two women, he was utterly confused, in distress and agony over which one to choose. He went to a therapist, who asked him, "Who do you enjoy making love with more?" "Cathy," he said. "Then go with Cathy," was her advice. When my friend first told me this story, I was in the doldrums of a long relationship where sex had lost its joy and spark, and I didn't understand his therapist's answer. Now I do. I have learned that whenever sex is fulfilling, the chances of love and a joyful life together are greater. Sexual rapport creates possibilities for intimacy and honesty, and a bonding, loving union. Conversely, where there is dissatisfaction in sex, the seeds of discontent are sown, resentments, frustrations, and fears easily arise, and slowly the love and rapport between partners can break down, ultimately leading to separation.
That is why the two most important words in all languages are love and prayer. In love you become one with a single individual; in prayer you become one with the whole cosmos. And love and prayer are similar as far as their inner workings are concerned.
In inquiring into the phenomenon of orgasm, modern research reveals that an "average" sexually active person experiences orgasmic ecstasy for twenty seconds a week, ninety seconds a month, thus eighteen minutes a year.* And this is based on an orgasm lasting ten seconds. Even ten seconds can seem quite an achievement! So in fifty years of sexual activity we have the privilege of experiencing orgasmic ecstasy for about fifteen hours in total. This is astonishing (and distressing) when you consider how many times you make love and how much additional time is spent dreaming about it and agonizing over it!
Sex in its highest form has an element of the divine in it. It brings you to "here," to the divinity of the present moment where you feel gloriously at ease. Everything rests perfectly in place. It is an orgasmic biological ecstasy which arises out of the dynamic interplay of opposite forces, and which is food for the spirit.
The secret of Tantra, and its prime interest, is that sexual energy is encouraged to be retained in the body. It is not habitually released in orgasm or ejaculation. It remains within the body and is re-circulated, and through this we fulfill our orgasmic potential. In this the second half and ascending phase, sexual energy is given the opportunity to circulate back to its source in the brain, so as to revitalize and nourish the "master" glands (pineal and pituitary) in the body. These glands have a profound influence on health. Sexual activity is known to release many hormonal factors that positively affect body and attitude, and since ancient times sex has been associated with longevity and spiritual illumination. When sexual energy can be re-absorbed, recycled, sex becomes a revitalizing, energizing force. This is known as the spiritual or generative phase of sex, and here the genitals are viewed reverently as generative organs. Accessing this second phase of our sexual energy by allowing it to turn inward and upward, is the revelation of Tantra. It shows us that sex can be directed to create more life, not simply another life.
This spiritual phase of sexual energy arises as men and women learn to relax together during sex. This is contrary to the popular experience of sex as effort, an activity involving tensions and pressures. We believe that the more we do in sex, the more will happen and the greater the reward. We hardly think of taking it easy! What we don't realize is that genuine sexual ecstasy goes hand-in-hand with physical relaxation. The more we relax, the more we feel. In fact, ecstasy and tension are diametrically opposed; tension creates heat and restlessness while ecstasy arises from a coolness and an inner peace. Tension narrows and contracts, while relaxation opens and expands. Tension creates a peak, while relaxation creates a valley-Tension forces a release, while relaxation allows absorption. Relaxation is the whole ambience of Tantra. It means that when we relax down into our sexual energy, instead of building it up to a peak and then releasing it, the outcome will be more life energy and more love. In re-directing sexual energy through relaxation, we can turn it inward and upward, where it is automatically re-absorbed by the body and re-circulated. Tantra refers to this step as placing a foot on the first step of the inner ladder of growth. In time, a neglected energy pathway forges its way open in the core of the body, and we experience this from the genitals upward as a streaming electromagnetic current, a glorious golden light phenomenon. When we encourage the spiritual phase of sex instead of obstructing it as we do in our ignorance, lovemaking becomes a sacred experience filled with wonder.
How often have you said to your lover or yourself, "I want to make love. I just don't have the time." In a sense that is true, because satisfying sex requires time. However, when we do finally make love we are always in a hurry to get to the end part, the orgasm part. When we are striving toward that, we are ahead of ourselves. We are not really "here," we are not even really together. We are almost using each other and our every move or touch is oriented toward our goal. The orgasm has become the only means of fulfillment, and we feel that sex is not really sex unless we "come," unless there is a peak and release of energy.
This urgency for an orgasm operates unconsciously within us, almost like an automatic reflex, seeming to leave us little choice but to head for orgasm, as we usually do. This desire is so strong it seems to be absolutely instinctive, which makes it even harder for us to imagine there might be other ways of making love! And so we repeat ourselves in sex, looking for a certain fulfillment that we never seem to find.
The inward and upward swing of the sex energy required in Tantra happens as bodies and genitals relax, no longer compelled by orgasm, and that same energy spreads and expands deliciously through the body. Yet very few of us have had this experience because we simply get much too tense as we try to control and force the direction of the sex energy. When the same energy is free to move absolutely of its own accord, sex becomes a glorious mixture of rampant passion and sobering silence.
As soon as our level of sexual excitement reaches a certain point, the unconscious tension within each of us is triggered to form an urgent physical desire, which sets up a powerful craving for orgasm. With this forceful injection of tension, we swing automatically away from the here and now, working frantically toward an artificial climax created by a focus in the future. In fact we are not truly present in sex because we have gone in pursuit of a specific outcome. In this way sexual energy fails to be an empowering and moving force, but simply a pleasurable build up and corresponding discharge of tension. This sexual tension unfortunately seldom moves through or out of the body completely. Instead, it lives on as frustrated desire, accumulating with time and continually seeking release. It makes our genitals tough and insensitive while it makes us feel emotional, restless, lustful, or angry. When this accumulated tension is triggered, or thrust forward by sexual stimulation, it adds to the already disturbed energy in the sexual center.
When loving emphasis is placed upon her breasts prior to penetration, the readiness for sex is there, both physically and psychologically, and this is very important. The man will immediately sense that the woman is with him, on his side, moving in rhythmic unison. There will be a feeling of oneness with a deep bodily yes from her, and he won't have to fight for his love, or she struggle to give it. It is true sexual union. Making love in this way, utilizing polarity, begins the process of establishing a powerful energy field between and within two bodies. Bio-electricity flowing within this magnetic field follows a spiral path, and this explains why the movement of the famed serpent power—the kundalini energy, located at the base of the male spine—will be experienced as a forceful unfolding, jerking, rising snake. In complementary style, the root of the female kundalini energy lies not in the spinal base as mistakenly believed, but in the breasts.
Through being able to truly love and satisfy a woman in sex, which represents a man's deepest longing, he begins to feel himself more grounded, mature, responsible, loving, energetic. A genuine male authority and clarity arises. A woman in receiving and returning this love, begins to experience herself as innocent and sweet, the source of love and creation, and a delicate perfumed femininity arises.
In divine sexual union, the positive male pole penetrates the female negative, reaches upward, ultimately penetrating the heart. When this happens, a kind of golden interlocking effect occurs, the penis encased and absorbed gloriously within the heart. This is pure ecstasy!
In conventional sex we do not achieve this sensitivity or aliveness because we are usually not aware, not conscious of what is happening. We are simply doing it, often mechanically or habitually, and hopefully enjoying ourselves, but we are usually lost in the activity of it. In conscious sex we are attempting to be aware of what is happening at each moment, and through this we create the opportunity to have an enriching experience of love each time. This happens because we understand the real nature of sexual energy—that awareness transforms sex into love.
While making love a natural meditation arises. To most people, meditation implies being alone, sitting upright, still and unmoving, but this is only one form of meditation. The movements in sex need not be chaotic but restful. They can revolve around a core of stillness, as in ballet or tai chi or swimming. Contrary to popular belief, meditation can arise most easily during the sex act because its physically pleasurable intensity helps us, even forces us, into the experience of what is happening as it is happening.
When we speak of changing the way we make love, we find that awareness is at the core of it. It is a crucial key to lifting sex to a new height. The first step in awareness is that we must continuously pay attention to our bodies and become aware of precisely what we are doing and feeling as we make love. Slowly, slowly we become alert to each movement, each gesture, each breath. When we learn to watch everything that is happening inside of our bodies, and be with it, the very act of sex becomes our whole focus, or realm of perception. And the very phenomenon of being it and watching it, transforms it.
Sex offers us the opportunity to practice and intensify awareness in order to literally create the present moment. We learn to "be" more in sex, and to "do" less. Out of this the magical Tantric experience emerges. Suddenly when there is no goal, there is an injection of spontaneous and uninhibited life energy. The natural attraction between the penis and vagina is so strong, so full of life, it gives easy access to the present moment.
At the outset of lovemaking, when each person gives the time and attention to his or her own body first, by expanding their inside space, it is as if the air between the bodies that normally separates them actually comes alive, like a magnetic field. You become aware of the life in your own body which radiates outward to communicate with the body and presence of your lover right through the space between you.
To help us shed the tough layer of our insensitive uneducated past, Tantra suggests three ways that we can explore our sexuality to effectively cleanse or de-condition ourselves of unconscious sexual patterns which affect the quality of love in our lives. The Love Keys will assist you in this. The first is to challenge the habit of going for orgasms. Also notice that we are basically absent and ahead, and therefore relatively unconscious, when we do go for it. The second is to make a shift from doing to being in sex. Notice too that even if we are not interested in orgasm per se, we feel nonetheless driven to do something in order to have a sexual experience. The third is to restore our original genital sensitivity (magnetic intelligence) through relaxation and consciousness of the present moment.
The man breathes in through his heart and out of his penis. The woman breathes in through her vagina and out through her heart. Imagine the breath to be golden light as it moves around in a circle. This can be particularly beautiful when the lovers are sitting up together, the woman's legs embracing the pelvis of her man. This intimate exchange where the chest and breasts meet enhances the experience of polarity within the bodies.
In Tantra, we don't exactly concentrate on the genitals, we relax into them. Remember, it is an easy approach and not a forced or tense one. Instead we bring our awareness into them, and begin to get an inner sense and impression of them. This internal focus brings awareness into the sexual act and gradually builds consciousness into the penis or vagina. Imagining a fire or liquid warmth that fills the pelvic area, melting and softening the genitals, can be a helpful image. Our orientation is inward, and by holding the genitals in awareness, almost listening to them as we make love, we start to see and experience them, not ourselves, as the makers of love.
Tension in the anus is associated with insecurity, and men's fear of not getting or maintaining an erection. Tightening the anus will not allay the fear. It will distort a man's energy as he pushes his genitals and pelvic structure forward, so compressing his sexual experience by confining his genital consciousness. By relaxing the anus the whole floor of the pelvis will soften, the sexual energy can fall down and backward into the body so to speak, and he will feel more rooted in the base of the penis. I have heard this feeling described by men as making love from "behind" the penis, and many have found this to be a most significant Love Key, as it helped to increase sensitivity in the penis and prolong intercourse.
While a couple may continue to love each other, the sexual attraction often dies and they stop expressing their love for each other in a physical way. Sooner or later they might even find themselves deciding to separate. And yet for us all the search for this expression of love goes on, generated by a deep longing that seldom goes away. After researching intensively for many years I discovered that it was the experience of Tantra, that of relaxing into the sex energy rather than putting pressure on it, which gave me what I had longed for intuitively throughout my life. It was like finding a series of keys, which opened door upon door. It was a process of uncovering age-old secrets about sexual energy that touched my spirit, bringing me to an unexpected inner peace.
I have a friend who was in a dilemma. In love with two women, he was utterly confused, in distress and agony over which one to choose. He went to a therapist, who asked him, "Who do you enjoy making love with more?" "Cathy," he said. "Then go with Cathy," was her advice. When my friend first told me this story, I was in the doldrums of a long relationship where sex had lost its joy and spark, and I didn't understand his therapist's answer. Now I do. I have learned that whenever sex is fulfilling, the chances of love and a joyful life together are greater. Sexual rapport creates possibilities for intimacy and honesty, and a bonding, loving union. Conversely, where there is dissatisfaction in sex, the seeds of discontent are sown, resentments, frustrations, and fears easily arise, and slowly the love and rapport between partners can break down, ultimately leading to separation.
That is why the two most important words in all languages are love and prayer. In love you become one with a single individual; in prayer you become one with the whole cosmos. And love and prayer are similar as far as their inner workings are concerned.
In inquiring into the phenomenon of orgasm, modern research reveals that an "average" sexually active person experiences orgasmic ecstasy for twenty seconds a week, ninety seconds a month, thus eighteen minutes a year.* And this is based on an orgasm lasting ten seconds. Even ten seconds can seem quite an achievement! So in fifty years of sexual activity we have the privilege of experiencing orgasmic ecstasy for about fifteen hours in total. This is astonishing (and distressing) when you consider how many times you make love and how much additional time is spent dreaming about it and agonizing over it!
Sex in its highest form has an element of the divine in it. It brings you to "here," to the divinity of the present moment where you feel gloriously at ease. Everything rests perfectly in place. It is an orgasmic biological ecstasy which arises out of the dynamic interplay of opposite forces, and which is food for the spirit.
The secret of Tantra, and its prime interest, is that sexual energy is encouraged to be retained in the body. It is not habitually released in orgasm or ejaculation. It remains within the body and is re-circulated, and through this we fulfill our orgasmic potential. In this the second half and ascending phase, sexual energy is given the opportunity to circulate back to its source in the brain, so as to revitalize and nourish the "master" glands (pineal and pituitary) in the body. These glands have a profound influence on health. Sexual activity is known to release many hormonal factors that positively affect body and attitude, and since ancient times sex has been associated with longevity and spiritual illumination. When sexual energy can be re-absorbed, recycled, sex becomes a revitalizing, energizing force. This is known as the spiritual or generative phase of sex, and here the genitals are viewed reverently as generative organs. Accessing this second phase of our sexual energy by allowing it to turn inward and upward, is the revelation of Tantra. It shows us that sex can be directed to create more life, not simply another life.
This spiritual phase of sexual energy arises as men and women learn to relax together during sex. This is contrary to the popular experience of sex as effort, an activity involving tensions and pressures. We believe that the more we do in sex, the more will happen and the greater the reward. We hardly think of taking it easy! What we don't realize is that genuine sexual ecstasy goes hand-in-hand with physical relaxation. The more we relax, the more we feel. In fact, ecstasy and tension are diametrically opposed; tension creates heat and restlessness while ecstasy arises from a coolness and an inner peace. Tension narrows and contracts, while relaxation opens and expands. Tension creates a peak, while relaxation creates a valley-Tension forces a release, while relaxation allows absorption. Relaxation is the whole ambience of Tantra. It means that when we relax down into our sexual energy, instead of building it up to a peak and then releasing it, the outcome will be more life energy and more love. In re-directing sexual energy through relaxation, we can turn it inward and upward, where it is automatically re-absorbed by the body and re-circulated. Tantra refers to this step as placing a foot on the first step of the inner ladder of growth. In time, a neglected energy pathway forges its way open in the core of the body, and we experience this from the genitals upward as a streaming electromagnetic current, a glorious golden light phenomenon. When we encourage the spiritual phase of sex instead of obstructing it as we do in our ignorance, lovemaking becomes a sacred experience filled with wonder.
How often have you said to your lover or yourself, "I want to make love. I just don't have the time." In a sense that is true, because satisfying sex requires time. However, when we do finally make love we are always in a hurry to get to the end part, the orgasm part. When we are striving toward that, we are ahead of ourselves. We are not really "here," we are not even really together. We are almost using each other and our every move or touch is oriented toward our goal. The orgasm has become the only means of fulfillment, and we feel that sex is not really sex unless we "come," unless there is a peak and release of energy.
This urgency for an orgasm operates unconsciously within us, almost like an automatic reflex, seeming to leave us little choice but to head for orgasm, as we usually do. This desire is so strong it seems to be absolutely instinctive, which makes it even harder for us to imagine there might be other ways of making love! And so we repeat ourselves in sex, looking for a certain fulfillment that we never seem to find.
The inward and upward swing of the sex energy required in Tantra happens as bodies and genitals relax, no longer compelled by orgasm, and that same energy spreads and expands deliciously through the body. Yet very few of us have had this experience because we simply get much too tense as we try to control and force the direction of the sex energy. When the same energy is free to move absolutely of its own accord, sex becomes a glorious mixture of rampant passion and sobering silence.
As soon as our level of sexual excitement reaches a certain point, the unconscious tension within each of us is triggered to form an urgent physical desire, which sets up a powerful craving for orgasm. With this forceful injection of tension, we swing automatically away from the here and now, working frantically toward an artificial climax created by a focus in the future. In fact we are not truly present in sex because we have gone in pursuit of a specific outcome. In this way sexual energy fails to be an empowering and moving force, but simply a pleasurable build up and corresponding discharge of tension. This sexual tension unfortunately seldom moves through or out of the body completely. Instead, it lives on as frustrated desire, accumulating with time and continually seeking release. It makes our genitals tough and insensitive while it makes us feel emotional, restless, lustful, or angry. When this accumulated tension is triggered, or thrust forward by sexual stimulation, it adds to the already disturbed energy in the sexual center.
When loving emphasis is placed upon her breasts prior to penetration, the readiness for sex is there, both physically and psychologically, and this is very important. The man will immediately sense that the woman is with him, on his side, moving in rhythmic unison. There will be a feeling of oneness with a deep bodily yes from her, and he won't have to fight for his love, or she struggle to give it. It is true sexual union. Making love in this way, utilizing polarity, begins the process of establishing a powerful energy field between and within two bodies. Bio-electricity flowing within this magnetic field follows a spiral path, and this explains why the movement of the famed serpent power—the kundalini energy, located at the base of the male spine—will be experienced as a forceful unfolding, jerking, rising snake. In complementary style, the root of the female kundalini energy lies not in the spinal base as mistakenly believed, but in the breasts.
Through being able to truly love and satisfy a woman in sex, which represents a man's deepest longing, he begins to feel himself more grounded, mature, responsible, loving, energetic. A genuine male authority and clarity arises. A woman in receiving and returning this love, begins to experience herself as innocent and sweet, the source of love and creation, and a delicate perfumed femininity arises.
In divine sexual union, the positive male pole penetrates the female negative, reaches upward, ultimately penetrating the heart. When this happens, a kind of golden interlocking effect occurs, the penis encased and absorbed gloriously within the heart. This is pure ecstasy!
In conventional sex we do not achieve this sensitivity or aliveness because we are usually not aware, not conscious of what is happening. We are simply doing it, often mechanically or habitually, and hopefully enjoying ourselves, but we are usually lost in the activity of it. In conscious sex we are attempting to be aware of what is happening at each moment, and through this we create the opportunity to have an enriching experience of love each time. This happens because we understand the real nature of sexual energy—that awareness transforms sex into love.
While making love a natural meditation arises. To most people, meditation implies being alone, sitting upright, still and unmoving, but this is only one form of meditation. The movements in sex need not be chaotic but restful. They can revolve around a core of stillness, as in ballet or tai chi or swimming. Contrary to popular belief, meditation can arise most easily during the sex act because its physically pleasurable intensity helps us, even forces us, into the experience of what is happening as it is happening.
When we speak of changing the way we make love, we find that awareness is at the core of it. It is a crucial key to lifting sex to a new height. The first step in awareness is that we must continuously pay attention to our bodies and become aware of precisely what we are doing and feeling as we make love. Slowly, slowly we become alert to each movement, each gesture, each breath. When we learn to watch everything that is happening inside of our bodies, and be with it, the very act of sex becomes our whole focus, or realm of perception. And the very phenomenon of being it and watching it, transforms it.
Sex offers us the opportunity to practice and intensify awareness in order to literally create the present moment. We learn to "be" more in sex, and to "do" less. Out of this the magical Tantric experience emerges. Suddenly when there is no goal, there is an injection of spontaneous and uninhibited life energy. The natural attraction between the penis and vagina is so strong, so full of life, it gives easy access to the present moment.
At the outset of lovemaking, when each person gives the time and attention to his or her own body first, by expanding their inside space, it is as if the air between the bodies that normally separates them actually comes alive, like a magnetic field. You become aware of the life in your own body which radiates outward to communicate with the body and presence of your lover right through the space between you.
To help us shed the tough layer of our insensitive uneducated past, Tantra suggests three ways that we can explore our sexuality to effectively cleanse or de-condition ourselves of unconscious sexual patterns which affect the quality of love in our lives. The Love Keys will assist you in this. The first is to challenge the habit of going for orgasms. Also notice that we are basically absent and ahead, and therefore relatively unconscious, when we do go for it. The second is to make a shift from doing to being in sex. Notice too that even if we are not interested in orgasm per se, we feel nonetheless driven to do something in order to have a sexual experience. The third is to restore our original genital sensitivity (magnetic intelligence) through relaxation and consciousness of the present moment.
The man breathes in through his heart and out of his penis. The woman breathes in through her vagina and out through her heart. Imagine the breath to be golden light as it moves around in a circle. This can be particularly beautiful when the lovers are sitting up together, the woman's legs embracing the pelvis of her man. This intimate exchange where the chest and breasts meet enhances the experience of polarity within the bodies.
In Tantra, we don't exactly concentrate on the genitals, we relax into them. Remember, it is an easy approach and not a forced or tense one. Instead we bring our awareness into them, and begin to get an inner sense and impression of them. This internal focus brings awareness into the sexual act and gradually builds consciousness into the penis or vagina. Imagining a fire or liquid warmth that fills the pelvic area, melting and softening the genitals, can be a helpful image. Our orientation is inward, and by holding the genitals in awareness, almost listening to them as we make love, we start to see and experience them, not ourselves, as the makers of love.
Tension in the anus is associated with insecurity, and men's fear of not getting or maintaining an erection. Tightening the anus will not allay the fear. It will distort a man's energy as he pushes his genitals and pelvic structure forward, so compressing his sexual experience by confining his genital consciousness. By relaxing the anus the whole floor of the pelvis will soften, the sexual energy can fall down and backward into the body so to speak, and he will feel more rooted in the base of the penis. I have heard this feeling described by men as making love from "behind" the penis, and many have found this to be a most significant Love Key, as it helped to increase sensitivity in the penis and prolong intercourse.
February 23, 2012
Absolutely amazing -- I love everything about this book!
When I read "the secret of Tantra is relaxation", I fell in love.
Obviously this goes beyond sex and into every aspect of life, relaxing into life and allowing yourself to simply be; the author approaches sex with a direct yet very open and vulnerable perspective -- bringing a beautiful innocence and joy into this all-too-often taboo topic (that feels a lot less taboo if we redefine how we understand sex and sexuality).
When I read "the secret of Tantra is relaxation", I fell in love.
Obviously this goes beyond sex and into every aspect of life, relaxing into life and allowing yourself to simply be; the author approaches sex with a direct yet very open and vulnerable perspective -- bringing a beautiful innocence and joy into this all-too-often taboo topic (that feels a lot less taboo if we redefine how we understand sex and sexuality).
October 5, 2022
Four stars because the subject is presented in thoughtful, direct ways and restores the purpose of intimacy as a connection rather than a performative action. This book is for a much, much younger person who has embarked on the intimacy journey or someone who married their high school sweetheart with virtually no experience outside of the one relationship. For them, I highly recommend the book.
Suffice to say, as a product of a 1970s/1980s NYC youth, the book offered nothing new, except for validating this 60yo “doing it right” the whole time. Still, revisiting the basics in all aspects of life hurts no one.
My complaint is that the practice seems specific towards straight couples, and men certainly don’t need to be instructed to prioritize their own pleasure first. Just sayin’. However, this book definitely offers insight into how men and women each experience intimacy and can benefit anyone whose s*x life has gone dark.
Suffice to say, as a product of a 1970s/1980s NYC youth, the book offered nothing new, except for validating this 60yo “doing it right” the whole time. Still, revisiting the basics in all aspects of life hurts no one.
My complaint is that the practice seems specific towards straight couples, and men certainly don’t need to be instructed to prioritize their own pleasure first. Just sayin’. However, this book definitely offers insight into how men and women each experience intimacy and can benefit anyone whose s*x life has gone dark.
March 1, 2021
This book did what it said on the tin. It told me the basics. I’m not sure I’m 100% convinced on all of it but nevertheless the information was there so I can’t criticise it for that. What I CAN criticise it for was the heteronormativity driven into the core of this book, the way the book flip-flops between being empowering one page to hideously sexist the next and the way the book loved to just REPEAT itself, I found myself skipping pages as all the ideas had already been spoken about in previous chapters. So in summary, good to teach you the basics and principles but I’d maybe go for a more modern and inclusive variation if you’re thinking about dipping your toe into the tantric lifestyle!
December 2, 2020
To be honest, I didn't know what the author was talking about half the time.
The writing came off as very preachy, and yet, at the same time, extremely vague... There were lots of anecdotes and vague pseudo-scientific allusions. For example, there is a lot of use of words like "polarity", "electricity", "magnetism", "lifeforce", etc., but they are used in contexts that, I would think, make little or no sense to the average person. There's a tacit "you know what I mean" tone to it all... but I really don't.
I did learn a thing or two about Tantra, I guess... but I could never recommend this as any sort of informative text.
The writing came off as very preachy, and yet, at the same time, extremely vague... There were lots of anecdotes and vague pseudo-scientific allusions. For example, there is a lot of use of words like "polarity", "electricity", "magnetism", "lifeforce", etc., but they are used in contexts that, I would think, make little or no sense to the average person. There's a tacit "you know what I mean" tone to it all... but I really don't.
I did learn a thing or two about Tantra, I guess... but I could never recommend this as any sort of informative text.
February 17, 2021
This book did such a fantastic job at explaining the divine energies between men and women, and what to do with it in making love. I can see why people think this book comes off as a more feminine approach, but I have to disagree. The book explores both sexes committing themselves to their true being, which is both male and female connecting. Having key concepts with tips and advice on how to connect greater was very helpful. I plan to read this book again and again since it is just interesting and eyeopening.
March 20, 2020
One of the finest books on this shelf—fine as opposed to crude. This one gets better with time. Diana Richardson's insights are profound, and quite different to any other book on the subject. From fascinating revelations on the body's polarity, to some marvelous things couples can try, and even a delicious ceremony, this book is shot through with great sensitivity, humanity and feeling. And deep understanding.
June 3, 2024
lol ama
Jk - interesting but doesn’t really give a fully compelling thesis
Jk - interesting but doesn’t really give a fully compelling thesis
August 2, 2020
A very new, interesting and promising concept.
February 5, 2025
Los reviews tienen razón de que gira entorno a lo heteronormativo pero transmite la idea de lo que es el tantra y el mindset 3.5/5
August 20, 2024
If you already have a base knowledge of Tantra you might find this book somewhat repetitive and lacking depth however what this book does right is give quite an extensive female POV which is often not the case in modern sexual discourse.
Wasn’t a huge fan of the heteronormative narrative and I do think that those with other sexual orientations might find it hard to connect with. However I’d urge everyone to just take what the essence of the book is and go with that, and that’s about healing and reframing your ideas on what sex, love and connection really is.
Wasn’t a huge fan of the heteronormative narrative and I do think that those with other sexual orientations might find it hard to connect with. However I’d urge everyone to just take what the essence of the book is and go with that, and that’s about healing and reframing your ideas on what sex, love and connection really is.
January 2, 2020
I have to admit I couldn't make it past the first couple of chapters. But Ms. Richardson's binary views of sex and gender, and her exclusionary language were so grating that I couldn't continue. Have since found much better material on the topic that is more relatable, inclusionary, and entertaining than this treatise.
April 4, 2022
Outdated language around gender and 100% heteronormative. A bit verbose. Some of the ideas seem downright made up, but we found that it does work
June 16, 2023
Hi,
I hope all is progressing well.
The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson is about being more aware and conscious sexually though the meditative practices as well as philosophies toward being more aware and conscious sexually transcend physical planes. I begin researching for other texts about sex after reading The Joy of Sex by Dr. Alex Comfort, M.B., D.Sc. (especially branching my search from/after discovering The Complete Kāma Sūtra: The First Unabridged Modern Translation of the Classic Indian Text (translation by Alain Daniēlou [inclusive of help from Kenneth Hurry])). The author indicates grounding for initial developments of the text in the Introduction:
"The depth and detail of information given by Barry Long changed the course of my life...Furthermore, it enabled me to understand and absorb, in a bodily way, the words of my spirtual master, Osho. He includes a vision of spirtuality through sex, woven together with interpretations of the ancient Tantric scriptures which were born in India thousands of years ago..." (Richardson, 2003/2008, pp. 11–12).
Even so, I'm a bit skeptical about the direction of the text after reading a portion of the text at the end of the author's Introduction:
"This book is an attempt to share practical information about sex that created a subtle and significante revolution in my life. It is by no means intended to be a comprehensive presentation of the origins or intricate esoteric aspects of Tantra—it is simply a personal experience" (Richardson, 2003/2008, 12).
Yet, I find the author develops a very sound and valuable text particularly because of the Love Keys as well as meditative practices flowing with reasonably philosophy. I feel like skillfully I'm a multipotentialite concerning sex styles though I'm a Tantric lover, at heart. The text is sexually well-rounding, considering dynamics that may affect one more so than sexually, always leading toward healing and healthily heightening sexual developments. Additionally, I find aspects of The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs That Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success by Dr. Mario Martinez, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup in relation to psychoneuroimmunology concerning being healthily-mindfully present with one's self as well as another practically are throughout the text.
Onward and Upward,
Kevin Dufresne
www.Piatures.com
IG: @Dufreshest
Richardson, D. (2008). The Heart of Tantric Sex. John Hunt Publishing. (Original work published in 2003).
I hope all is progressing well.
The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson is about being more aware and conscious sexually though the meditative practices as well as philosophies toward being more aware and conscious sexually transcend physical planes. I begin researching for other texts about sex after reading The Joy of Sex by Dr. Alex Comfort, M.B., D.Sc. (especially branching my search from/after discovering The Complete Kāma Sūtra: The First Unabridged Modern Translation of the Classic Indian Text (translation by Alain Daniēlou [inclusive of help from Kenneth Hurry])). The author indicates grounding for initial developments of the text in the Introduction:
"The depth and detail of information given by Barry Long changed the course of my life...Furthermore, it enabled me to understand and absorb, in a bodily way, the words of my spirtual master, Osho. He includes a vision of spirtuality through sex, woven together with interpretations of the ancient Tantric scriptures which were born in India thousands of years ago..." (Richardson, 2003/2008, pp. 11–12).
Even so, I'm a bit skeptical about the direction of the text after reading a portion of the text at the end of the author's Introduction:
"This book is an attempt to share practical information about sex that created a subtle and significante revolution in my life. It is by no means intended to be a comprehensive presentation of the origins or intricate esoteric aspects of Tantra—it is simply a personal experience" (Richardson, 2003/2008, 12).
Yet, I find the author develops a very sound and valuable text particularly because of the Love Keys as well as meditative practices flowing with reasonably philosophy. I feel like skillfully I'm a multipotentialite concerning sex styles though I'm a Tantric lover, at heart. The text is sexually well-rounding, considering dynamics that may affect one more so than sexually, always leading toward healing and healthily heightening sexual developments. Additionally, I find aspects of The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs That Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success by Dr. Mario Martinez, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup in relation to psychoneuroimmunology concerning being healthily-mindfully present with one's self as well as another practically are throughout the text.
Onward and Upward,
Kevin Dufresne
www.Piatures.com
IG: @Dufreshest
Richardson, D. (2008). The Heart of Tantric Sex. John Hunt Publishing. (Original work published in 2003).
February 13, 2019
Initial comments from having listened to about 25% of this book: I am not finding it very satisfying. Many of the ideas seem reductivist and simplistic—like that women and men are polar opposites and only together make up a whole. It also seems exclusively heterosexually focused, which further limits the audience and therefore the usefulness of this book. But what I really don’t like is the tone and the organization. The author seems to be lecturing and chiding her audience and making a lot of generalizations-- all of us are doing sex wrong, we are all orgasm hunters, we all practice sex the way we do because our mothers and grandmothers did, etc. The “how to” part (so far) is mixed in with the criticism and thus does not feel positive or sexy or even easy to follow. So far, I would recommend Urban Tantra over this book.
After having finished this book, I find it hard to imagine why anyone would maintain an interest in learning about tantric lovemaking if this were their introduction. The author makes unsupported claims about sexuality, and repeatedly trots out sexist generalizations. She unvaryingly focuses on heterosexual couples and heterosexual sex, and her repeated assertions that only by inserting his penis into a vagina can a man be complete is almost nauseating. Unlike other books on tantric sex, she seems to be against orgasm and even movement during sex. Rather than seeing all aspects of physical connection during sex as part of sex, she separates everything into “foreplay” vs “penetration” and judges harshly against anything that builds excitement or tension or isn’t just lying quietly still in penetration. Rather than fully embracing the body as a part of our ability to connect with our lover(s) or with the divine or as a vehicle for enlightenment as in some other tantric perspectives, she seems to encourage us to rise above our bodies and connect only with the intelligence of our genitals.
The author's instructions and suggestions regarding how to practice tantric lovemaking are so buried in biased generalizations and judgement that it isn’t even easy to follow the “steps”. This book often felt dour and boring.
Rather than this book, I highly recommend Urban Tantra, Second Edition: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, which is a very positive, practical, sexy, hands-on guide that is inclusive of all types of people and all types of relationships.
After having finished this book, I find it hard to imagine why anyone would maintain an interest in learning about tantric lovemaking if this were their introduction. The author makes unsupported claims about sexuality, and repeatedly trots out sexist generalizations. She unvaryingly focuses on heterosexual couples and heterosexual sex, and her repeated assertions that only by inserting his penis into a vagina can a man be complete is almost nauseating. Unlike other books on tantric sex, she seems to be against orgasm and even movement during sex. Rather than seeing all aspects of physical connection during sex as part of sex, she separates everything into “foreplay” vs “penetration” and judges harshly against anything that builds excitement or tension or isn’t just lying quietly still in penetration. Rather than fully embracing the body as a part of our ability to connect with our lover(s) or with the divine or as a vehicle for enlightenment as in some other tantric perspectives, she seems to encourage us to rise above our bodies and connect only with the intelligence of our genitals.
The author's instructions and suggestions regarding how to practice tantric lovemaking are so buried in biased generalizations and judgement that it isn’t even easy to follow the “steps”. This book often felt dour and boring.
Rather than this book, I highly recommend Urban Tantra, Second Edition: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, which is a very positive, practical, sexy, hands-on guide that is inclusive of all types of people and all types of relationships.
March 6, 2025
“That is why the two most important words in all languages are ‘Love’ and ‘Prayer’. In love, you become one with a single individual, in prayer you become one with the whole cosmos. And love and prayer are similar as far as their inner workings are concerned.”
All about trust and communication. Beautiful advice for enhancing sexual energies and experiencing physically and spiritually empowering sex. Kinda hippy-bitch and crazy but hey, generally sage advice.
It’s like the ancient, esoteric version of the modern scientific ‘Come As You Are’ book that I reviewed earlier this year - which I recommend more to be honest.
Teaches about the power of intentional breath, eye contact, and so on in sex.
“The art of tantra, most simply defined is the union of sex and meditation. It is simultaneously a physical and a spiritual happening.”
*Book is very Cis-Het, constantly speaks in terms of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ energies corresponding to sex between a person with a penis and a person with vagina. Not LGBTQIA+ inclusive.
This is a bit of a wild take, but the book reads to me a lot like ‘The Art of War’: very practical and straightforward direct guide to things (advice both specific and general), but discussing really taboo or intense content, so it feels strange for it to be spoken of in such straightforward terms.
All about trust and communication. Beautiful advice for enhancing sexual energies and experiencing physically and spiritually empowering sex. Kinda hippy-bitch and crazy but hey, generally sage advice.
It’s like the ancient, esoteric version of the modern scientific ‘Come As You Are’ book that I reviewed earlier this year - which I recommend more to be honest.
Teaches about the power of intentional breath, eye contact, and so on in sex.
“The art of tantra, most simply defined is the union of sex and meditation. It is simultaneously a physical and a spiritual happening.”
*Book is very Cis-Het, constantly speaks in terms of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ energies corresponding to sex between a person with a penis and a person with vagina. Not LGBTQIA+ inclusive.
This is a bit of a wild take, but the book reads to me a lot like ‘The Art of War’: very practical and straightforward direct guide to things (advice both specific and general), but discussing really taboo or intense content, so it feels strange for it to be spoken of in such straightforward terms.
July 17, 2016
I'm so grateful to my girlfriend for introducing me to trantic sex. This book is an absolutely beautiful approach to sex.
It is purely heterosexual, and a long book that could've been more concise and less detailed. I also find it hard that all couples can understand and benefit from this book because it's not what people are looking for. Unless both are ready to let go of their conditioning, be vulnerable and change, it will be very difficult.
However this book will change you approach to sex like it did to me, or at least add to your understanding of it, whether you have a partner or not and whether you are into yoga, spirituality or not.
I found that I was naturally applying many of the Love Keys, which are techniques used in tantra to bring more awareness and healing, but this book made me aware of it. This allowed a much deeper experience and understand of eachother. It also made me aware of the conditioning I still had about sex as a physical and emotional need.
Because tantra invites awareness to the present moment, to my body and inner world, I'm facing my past, my old habits, my urges, conditionings, and all the barriers to loving myself and others.
It is purely heterosexual, and a long book that could've been more concise and less detailed. I also find it hard that all couples can understand and benefit from this book because it's not what people are looking for. Unless both are ready to let go of their conditioning, be vulnerable and change, it will be very difficult.
However this book will change you approach to sex like it did to me, or at least add to your understanding of it, whether you have a partner or not and whether you are into yoga, spirituality or not.
I found that I was naturally applying many of the Love Keys, which are techniques used in tantra to bring more awareness and healing, but this book made me aware of it. This allowed a much deeper experience and understand of eachother. It also made me aware of the conditioning I still had about sex as a physical and emotional need.
Because tantra invites awareness to the present moment, to my body and inner world, I'm facing my past, my old habits, my urges, conditionings, and all the barriers to loving myself and others.
July 9, 2020
This was my first book on tantric practices and it was an excellent introduction, comprehensively covering all aspects of the approach and offering simple introductory exercises to step you into the mindframe.
What I loved most about learning this style of conscious love-making is that it addressed many of the myths and toxic expectations that I didn’t realize I was still holding from my very fundamental upbringing. And that’s released something inside of me that had shifted my energetic output.
Also, I love the idea of the goal being to live an orgasmic life rather than a single orgasm.
It’s a fascinating shift in worldview and expectations. Eastern philosophy provides the undercurrent and it will re-orient ones’s life.
The books provides enough to further ones own search without being overwhelming. Recommend for anyone who has a cursory interest or is just getting started.
What I loved most about learning this style of conscious love-making is that it addressed many of the myths and toxic expectations that I didn’t realize I was still holding from my very fundamental upbringing. And that’s released something inside of me that had shifted my energetic output.
Also, I love the idea of the goal being to live an orgasmic life rather than a single orgasm.
It’s a fascinating shift in worldview and expectations. Eastern philosophy provides the undercurrent and it will re-orient ones’s life.
The books provides enough to further ones own search without being overwhelming. Recommend for anyone who has a cursory interest or is just getting started.
June 24, 2018
Clarity..
M GLAD..I read this book...we all do sex but doing with awareness is what brings beauty to it..reading the book made me stop and think and understand what i missed . If it's there one must read and it's no harm to even try. M sure one will achieve not only clarity but will be able to see sex in a different way. Few chapters were bit boring but mostly I was engaged in it.
M GLAD..I read this book...we all do sex but doing with awareness is what brings beauty to it..reading the book made me stop and think and understand what i missed . If it's there one must read and it's no harm to even try. M sure one will achieve not only clarity but will be able to see sex in a different way. Few chapters were bit boring but mostly I was engaged in it.
November 5, 2020
A very good intro book - audio book narrator reads with heart and feeling, which I appreciated.
A touch light on facts/science, but the overall practices and connection deepening principles are wonderful and very healthy.
I would recommend this book as top-10 to anyone wanting to deepen relationship with their partner.
A touch light on facts/science, but the overall practices and connection deepening principles are wonderful and very healthy.
I would recommend this book as top-10 to anyone wanting to deepen relationship with their partner.
July 25, 2021
Appealing to connect emotionally to your partner
As a sex therapist to couples, and as a sexual trauma survivor, this books for slows down the connection of sex so the the team seized partner can learn to enjoy her body .and learn to release her emotions mindful and safely, Its a book of true connection to your partner and reconnection with yourself.
As a sex therapist to couples, and as a sexual trauma survivor, this books for slows down the connection of sex so the the team seized partner can learn to enjoy her body .and learn to release her emotions mindful and safely, Its a book of true connection to your partner and reconnection with yourself.
April 2, 2024
It's a bit repetitive, but it does have a lot of good information in it about slowing down and being mindful of yourself and your partner during sex to make for longer, better play between you. It is heteronormative, but the author has spoken in many lectures about how the concepts work with any sort of couple regardless of sexual attraction or gender identity.
October 15, 2024
Oh my, I really enjoyed the information shared.
I thoroughly enjoyed the meaning and the process.
oh my goodness, there's just so many good things in here for connecting with one's partner and being present and enjoying the moment instead of the outcome.
Alot of good helpful information for connection.
I thoroughly enjoyed the meaning and the process.
oh my goodness, there's just so many good things in here for connecting with one's partner and being present and enjoying the moment instead of the outcome.
Alot of good helpful information for connection.
November 25, 2024
Why does this book not have a higher rating??? I think it’s a must read to anyone that feels like sex isn’t how it’s been presented. It’s deeper, more spiritual. It’s not about the orgasm (which we spend our whole sex experience chasing only to receive around 15 min in a lifetime). It’s about the connection and exploration. Changed my whole view of sex and validated how I was feeling.
December 21, 2014
Without dissing traditional Tantric Yogic exercise, the subject is addressed in a way which makes tantric sexual practice palatable to Westerners without sacrificing the traditional broader purpose of Tantra.
April 6, 2020
Great explanation reintroduction to the Tantra
This is my first reading into Tantra. This book was well written and explained everything brilliantly. Looking forward to putting my consciousness aside and trying Tantra
This is my first reading into Tantra. This book was well written and explained everything brilliantly. Looking forward to putting my consciousness aside and trying Tantra
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