Cooking Bacon Naked

by Stephen E. Chatman

Drinking, fighting, and cheating on her. Whatever! She’ll take him back like she’s done so many times before, right? As long as he can stay alive and out of prison long enough to prove he loves her. Stephen, a connoisseur of 7-Eleven merlot and wild women, has the perfect life for a guy who is overloaded with prescription medications, suffering from rage and bipolar disorders, and on probation for the premeditated assault of a seedy porno producer. "…Red wine is served at room temperature and the floor around my bed is always room temperature." Liza, his off-again, on-again fiancée is the only good in his forsaken life. She is book smart, but street dumb and willing to do anything to break into show business. Her poster-girl good looks and country-girl gullibility made her a perfect target for Nikolai, an aged porn star turned porn producer. Nikolai has tricked Liza into believing she is just filming a raunchy soap opera. He allowed her to fake-sex her way through the first half of the film, leading her to believe that fade-to-black means no real sex. Liza learns that in porn films, there are no special effects and the gooey white stuff isn’t dishwashing liquid mixed with baking soda. When she refuses to have real sex with the block-away ugly actor from a banned porn film called Really Big, she’s given a life-threatening ultimatum, and Stephen may be the only man who can save her.

274 pages, Paperback

First published March 15, 2005