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Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent
A thought-provoking combination of practical parenting information and scientific analysis, Our Babies, Ourselves is the first book to explore why we raise our children the way we do--and to suggest that we reconsider our culture's traditional views on parenting.New parents are faced with innumerable decisions to make regarding the best way to care for their baby, and, naturally, they often turn for guidance to friends and family members who have already raised children. But as scientists are discovering, much of the trusted advice that has been passed down through generations needs to be carefully reexamined.In this ground-breaking book, anthropologist Meredith Small reveals her remarkable findings in the new science of ethnopediatrics. Professor Small joins pediatricians, child-development researchers, and anthropologists across the country who are studying to what extent the way we parent our infants is based on biological needs and to what extent it is based on culture--and how sometimes what is culturally dictated may not be what's best for babies.Should an infant be encouraged to sleep alone? Is breast-feeding better than bottle-feeding, or is that just a myth of the nineties? How much time should pass before a mother picks up her crying infant? And how important is it really to a baby's development to talk and sing to him or her?These are but a few of the important questions Small addresses, and the answers not only are surprising, but may even change the way we raise our children.
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 13, 1998
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About the author
Meredith Small
7 books42 followersMeredith F. Small is a science journalist, anthropologist, professor emerita Cornell University, and a visiting scholar at the University of Pennsylvania. Although well known for her award winning magazine writing, she is also the author of several trade books that take an anthropological look at parenting, sexuality, and mental illness. Her book Our Babies, Ourselves has been called a "cult classic" for parents, health professionals, and anyone interested in parenting styles. Meredith's latest book is"Inventing the World; Venice and the Transformation of Western Culture" ( Pegasus Books) is about a list of over 200 inventions and creative ideas that originated in Venice and how they affected our modern view.
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June 30, 2013I'm not sure how many stars to give this book, because I had very mixed reactions. The earlier parts of this book are full of interesting biological and anthropological descriptions of (1) evolutionary and biological information about babies, and (2) how parents in various cultures care for babies. Totally fascinating, well-described, and exuding open-mindedness and curiosity about the wonder of human biology and the rich variety of human behavior.
Then, suddenly, the book changes, and the second half is like "You should co-sleep, and breastfeed your baby forever, and wear your baby all the time, because that's what's NATURAL." Which rings especially hollow because you just read about the incredible variety of human behavior across cultures. "You should wear your baby all the time, because that's what this tribe of hunter-gatherers does." But wait, didn't you just tell us that that tribe also beats their children to make them behave? Should we do that too?
In this section, I started to become skeptical of all her discussions of research, because they seemed designed to bolster whatever claim she was making, and not to genuinely examine the evidence. The book became ideological.
(There were some ideological bits in the early chapters too, like her insistence on describing American parents as putting their babies in "hard plastic seats." Oh no, that's not judgmental at all... totally neutral description...)
So, I do recommend reading this book if you're interested in child development/ parenting, especially the early chapters, because there's some fascinating information and it was really thought-provoking. Even the parts that I argued with, made me think. But beware the ideology!
...Editing to add: Recommend following this up with Mother Nature by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy.
Then, suddenly, the book changes, and the second half is like "You should co-sleep, and breastfeed your baby forever, and wear your baby all the time, because that's what's NATURAL." Which rings especially hollow because you just read about the incredible variety of human behavior across cultures. "You should wear your baby all the time, because that's what this tribe of hunter-gatherers does." But wait, didn't you just tell us that that tribe also beats their children to make them behave? Should we do that too?
In this section, I started to become skeptical of all her discussions of research, because they seemed designed to bolster whatever claim she was making, and not to genuinely examine the evidence. The book became ideological.
(There were some ideological bits in the early chapters too, like her insistence on describing American parents as putting their babies in "hard plastic seats." Oh no, that's not judgmental at all... totally neutral description...)
So, I do recommend reading this book if you're interested in child development/ parenting, especially the early chapters, because there's some fascinating information and it was really thought-provoking. Even the parts that I argued with, made me think. But beware the ideology!
...Editing to add: Recommend following this up with Mother Nature by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy.
February 26, 2009
This is the book I like to give every pregnant friend. When you have a child, you inevitably receive a lot of well-intentioned advice. Writing from a biological anthropologist's point of view, Small helps you pick apart which bits of wisdom are cultural (which is not to say that they should be discarded!) and which are more naturally aligned with babies' basic biological design.
This crucial knowledge, which most parents and even pediatricians do not possess, will help make some aspects of babies' behavior (eating and sleeping patterns in particular) less mystifying. It will also fortify parents with the confidence to take the advice - from grandma, baby books, doctors, friends - that works for them and their particular baby, and to ignore what does not work. It is comforting to be reminded that all around the world different cultures "know" how children should be raised - and the resulting advice is often conflicting. Reading this book helps one to be selectively and deliberately accepting of the constraints of one's own particular cultural milieu.
This crucial knowledge, which most parents and even pediatricians do not possess, will help make some aspects of babies' behavior (eating and sleeping patterns in particular) less mystifying. It will also fortify parents with the confidence to take the advice - from grandma, baby books, doctors, friends - that works for them and their particular baby, and to ignore what does not work. It is comforting to be reminded that all around the world different cultures "know" how children should be raised - and the resulting advice is often conflicting. Reading this book helps one to be selectively and deliberately accepting of the constraints of one's own particular cultural milieu.
January 9, 2011
Written by an anthropologist, this is an intriguing account of how humans care for infants, from a cross-cultural and evolutionary perspective. It begins by providing a fascinating summary of infant care in several diverse cultures including three hunter-gatherer societies and the modern industrial societies of Japan and the U.S. The variety of practices described, not only of caring for the young, but also related to social structure, mating, pregnancy, and birth made for some interesting reading. While I would have been interested to learn about the customs in even more cultures, these summaries served the purpose of illustrating both the great variety of the practices in existence across the world, as well as how unusual the practices that we take for granted in the US (and Western civilization) actually are.
For instance, in our society we take for granted that babies should sleep in cribs and often in their own rooms, but it is startling to realize that this practice has only been around for the last 200 or so years in Western civilization, that babies still sleep with their mothers in the vast majority of cultures in the world today, and that this is what humans have done for ages over the course of our (successful) evolution. It points out the contrast between our cultural practice of infant solitary sleep and how infants have evolved biologically to sleep in close proximity to their mothers. This data leads us to question whether our modern cultural practices are actual compatible with the biological needs of infants, and what is actually best for meeting the needs of infants.
This relationship between culture and biology is the theme that guides the rest of the book. In addition to sleep, two other topics which are central to the lives of infants are covered: eating and state (crying, temperament, etc.) Each of these chapters was packed with interesting information from historical, evolutionary, cultural, and scientific perspectives. Some of the parts that stood out to me in the "eating" section were learning about weaning ages from a biological (looking at humans within the spectrum of other primates) and cross-cultural perspective (ranging from 2.5 to 7 years old), as well as the history of breastfeeding and formula in Western culture. I was also interested to learn that "insufficient milk" syndrome only has a physical cause in 5% of the reported cases and is not found anywhere other than Western industrialized nations. Rather, its cause is usually associated with separation from the mother at birth, interval feeding (rather than feeding on cue or "demand"), and artificial milk presented as a reasonable alternative. Such insights, if properly applied, could help us to prevent this frustrating problem for many mothers.
Another eye-opening topic was crying. Crying is accepted in Western culture as normal and expected for babies, but in many cultures babies hardly cry at all. Studies have shown that what helps babies to cry less is human contact- picking up a crying baby, promptly feeding a baby that is crying out of hunger, and carrying the baby for more hours of each day. This may sound like common sense, but it is not the mainstream way that babies are cared for in Western culture. Rather, babies' cries routinely receive delayed responses and "cry-it-out" is a popular and widely accepted sleep training method for infants.
It frustrates me that as many advances as have been made in Western civilization, in many ways it has failed us so miserably. I wish I lived in a culture in which I could trust the mainstream cultural practices for infant care (and everything else), but unfortunately that's not the reality we live in. By broadening our perspective on infant care to cultures across the world and our evolutionary history, this book allows us to view our own culture in a new light and begin to look more closely at what is actually best for our children.
The information and perspectives shared in this book went well beyond what you would find in a normal "Parenting" book, and it kept me interested from beginning to end. I highly recommend this book for parents and non-parents alike.
For instance, in our society we take for granted that babies should sleep in cribs and often in their own rooms, but it is startling to realize that this practice has only been around for the last 200 or so years in Western civilization, that babies still sleep with their mothers in the vast majority of cultures in the world today, and that this is what humans have done for ages over the course of our (successful) evolution. It points out the contrast between our cultural practice of infant solitary sleep and how infants have evolved biologically to sleep in close proximity to their mothers. This data leads us to question whether our modern cultural practices are actual compatible with the biological needs of infants, and what is actually best for meeting the needs of infants.
This relationship between culture and biology is the theme that guides the rest of the book. In addition to sleep, two other topics which are central to the lives of infants are covered: eating and state (crying, temperament, etc.) Each of these chapters was packed with interesting information from historical, evolutionary, cultural, and scientific perspectives. Some of the parts that stood out to me in the "eating" section were learning about weaning ages from a biological (looking at humans within the spectrum of other primates) and cross-cultural perspective (ranging from 2.5 to 7 years old), as well as the history of breastfeeding and formula in Western culture. I was also interested to learn that "insufficient milk" syndrome only has a physical cause in 5% of the reported cases and is not found anywhere other than Western industrialized nations. Rather, its cause is usually associated with separation from the mother at birth, interval feeding (rather than feeding on cue or "demand"), and artificial milk presented as a reasonable alternative. Such insights, if properly applied, could help us to prevent this frustrating problem for many mothers.
Another eye-opening topic was crying. Crying is accepted in Western culture as normal and expected for babies, but in many cultures babies hardly cry at all. Studies have shown that what helps babies to cry less is human contact- picking up a crying baby, promptly feeding a baby that is crying out of hunger, and carrying the baby for more hours of each day. This may sound like common sense, but it is not the mainstream way that babies are cared for in Western culture. Rather, babies' cries routinely receive delayed responses and "cry-it-out" is a popular and widely accepted sleep training method for infants.
It frustrates me that as many advances as have been made in Western civilization, in many ways it has failed us so miserably. I wish I lived in a culture in which I could trust the mainstream cultural practices for infant care (and everything else), but unfortunately that's not the reality we live in. By broadening our perspective on infant care to cultures across the world and our evolutionary history, this book allows us to view our own culture in a new light and begin to look more closely at what is actually best for our children.
The information and perspectives shared in this book went well beyond what you would find in a normal "Parenting" book, and it kept me interested from beginning to end. I highly recommend this book for parents and non-parents alike.
December 2, 2012
There is so much that I agree with in this book. I loved reading about the anthropological support for the idea that attachment parenting is what is best for babies, and I really enjoyed reading about how babies are cared for in some non-Western cultures today (though I would have enjoyed reading about more of them and also about Western countries other than the U.S.)
That being said, I did find some significant flaws with this book. For one thing, Meredith Small asserts at times that all parenting practices are fine and just need to be understood as part of culture, while in most of the book she argues that babies are evolutionarily designed to sleep with adults, breastfeed often for several years, be worn or carried most of the time, and be responded to quickly. I don't think that she is consistent on these points, perhaps because she lacks the courage to criticize mainstream American practices without reservation.
Second, I had hoped for more explanation of why we should look to these aspects of traditional societies but not, say, infanticide.
Third, I think that Small is at times out of touch with American views of parenting. For example, she suggests that American parents are not concerned with "socialization" of babies/children. I think that Americans just view socialization in a different (perhaps worse) way than many other cultures. While in most cultures, babies become socialized by being included in whatever their mothers are doing, Americans tend to believe (in my view, wrongly) that babies and young children need to be "socialized" by spending time with their same-aged peers.
Finally, I disagree with Small's suggestion that temperament isn't inborn. That sounds like someone with one easygoing child who thinks that the "easy" temperament is attributable to great parenting. Those of us blessed with babies who, from Day 1, are a little more demanding than others, should, like parents of easygoing babies, meet their needs through attachment parenting. We should also be prepared to love them, see the advantages in their personalities, teach them to control themselves as needed to function in our society, but not expect that our parenting will change their core temperaments. And why should we want that anyway?
That being said, I did find some significant flaws with this book. For one thing, Meredith Small asserts at times that all parenting practices are fine and just need to be understood as part of culture, while in most of the book she argues that babies are evolutionarily designed to sleep with adults, breastfeed often for several years, be worn or carried most of the time, and be responded to quickly. I don't think that she is consistent on these points, perhaps because she lacks the courage to criticize mainstream American practices without reservation.
Second, I had hoped for more explanation of why we should look to these aspects of traditional societies but not, say, infanticide.
Third, I think that Small is at times out of touch with American views of parenting. For example, she suggests that American parents are not concerned with "socialization" of babies/children. I think that Americans just view socialization in a different (perhaps worse) way than many other cultures. While in most cultures, babies become socialized by being included in whatever their mothers are doing, Americans tend to believe (in my view, wrongly) that babies and young children need to be "socialized" by spending time with their same-aged peers.
Finally, I disagree with Small's suggestion that temperament isn't inborn. That sounds like someone with one easygoing child who thinks that the "easy" temperament is attributable to great parenting. Those of us blessed with babies who, from Day 1, are a little more demanding than others, should, like parents of easygoing babies, meet their needs through attachment parenting. We should also be prepared to love them, see the advantages in their personalities, teach them to control themselves as needed to function in our society, but not expect that our parenting will change their core temperaments. And why should we want that anyway?
June 24, 2012
This was a really thought-provoking read that overall I enjoyed quite a lot. But I feel like she frequently repeated herself; by the end I was pretty tired of hearing about the !Kung San, and wished I had skimmed rather than read the whole thing. Also, despite her overall commitment to a scientific approach, she did use fairly biased/loaded language in her treatment of Western practices. I often agreed with her, but it seemed a bit heavy handed.
March 28, 2022
We're in the grandparenting stage of life, but I would have loved having access to this book when we were starting our family. It compares raising children in various cultures throughout the world. Parents in first-world countries seem to think they've got the best practices for parenting, but from the eyes of an ethnopediatrician or an anthropologist, what may seem best to us adults isn't necessarily what's best for our babies. The author in particular goes into depth on the topics of sleeping, crying and eating. If you're of the mindset of letting babies "cry it out," you may have a change of heart after reading this. When babies cry, they're reaching out to their caretakers in the only way they know how. It's sad reading the reactions of these little ones when the people caring for them don't respond accordingly.
December 22, 2019
This was a fascinating read. The author relates the parenting practices of different cultures around the world and talks about how certain parenting styles are due to the biology of human babies. As a simple example, babies were designed to be breastfed, biologically speaking. But in Western cultures, we've decided to diverge from those biologically-based practices to gain more convenience and independence from the traditionally more intimate parent-infant relationship. I like how the author says that there's nothing wrong with that, as long as we're aware of the trade-offs of choosing that different path. Babies will continue to be just fine, as long as they're not completely neglected. But for me, the book reaffirmed certain parenting choices we've already made.
This book does an excellent job of giving you a full picture of each parenting choice so that you can make an informed decision. The book was a little slow-going for me at first, but once I got to the chapter comparing cultures, it really picked up and was very interesting.
This book does an excellent job of giving you a full picture of each parenting choice so that you can make an informed decision. The book was a little slow-going for me at first, but once I got to the chapter comparing cultures, it really picked up and was very interesting.
March 30, 2021
Adorei e recomendo a leitura! Nenhum pai e mãe está certo ou errado na forma como cria e cuida de seu bebe, pois existem milhares de formas de se fazer isso, e é diferente pra cada cultura. Apesar disso, existem formas de se maternar que são mais biológicamente alinhadas, evolutivamente mais "corretas". Podemos olhar para os comportamentos de um bebe e ver reflexos da sua historia evolutiva. Saber utilizar o conhecimento cultural e evolutivo pode nos ajudar muito nas decisões que vamos tomar pela nossa pequena.
November 27, 2020
It is a pleasure to read an interesting academic book on babies. Small is an actual professor (well, was, emeritus now) of anthropology at Cornell, and this book is a popular gloss on ethnopediatrics, the anthropological subfield focusing on childrearing.
The first two chapters are a quick survey of the underlying theoretical perspectives. From an evolutionary perspective, humans are intelligent bipedal apes, and this basic biology informs the limits of what can pass through the birth canal. Human babies are notably helpless compared to other primates, effectively born 3 months premature in terms of basic motor skills. The other theory is one of cultural relativism. All cultures differ, no culture is inherently superior, and other cultures have useful things to teach us.
The next three chapters are focused on areas of obvious concern for new parents: sleeping, crying, and nursing. Here, Small skips among various ethnographies, showing how other cultures, especially traditional hunter-gatherers or pastoralists raise there young. The repeated impression is that the mother-baby dyad is close, and maintained by constant closeness: co-sleeping face-to-face, carrying in a sling, and breast feeding at very frequent intervals.
These traditional practices are in contrast to American childrearing, which is WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic, but also just plain odd). Medicalized western births, starting with early separations at the hospital, and continuing on through a system of quiet and isolated nurseries and regimented feeding and sleep training systems, seem to produce mostly negative outcomes, from colicky babies, to failures to breastfeed, to child mortality far in excess of other developed nations.
Small has a clear agenda against medicalized births here, from the title which is a riff on the famous feminist health book "Our Bodies, Ourselves", to her selection of ethnographic case studies. In the decades since this book has been published medical practice has move towards Small's arguments. For our upcoming birth, Kaiser will place the baby on the mother immediately after delivery (barring a clear medical emergency). Breastfeeding is, if not well supported, better supported.
This is a fascinating book, but I wish Small had included more from other developed nations. We are unlikely to adapt !Kung childrearing practices, but perhaps the Netherlands or Japan has some cultural practices that better fit working motherhood under capitalism. Still, I can see this book being revolutionary when published, and it's aged very well.
The first two chapters are a quick survey of the underlying theoretical perspectives. From an evolutionary perspective, humans are intelligent bipedal apes, and this basic biology informs the limits of what can pass through the birth canal. Human babies are notably helpless compared to other primates, effectively born 3 months premature in terms of basic motor skills. The other theory is one of cultural relativism. All cultures differ, no culture is inherently superior, and other cultures have useful things to teach us.
The next three chapters are focused on areas of obvious concern for new parents: sleeping, crying, and nursing. Here, Small skips among various ethnographies, showing how other cultures, especially traditional hunter-gatherers or pastoralists raise there young. The repeated impression is that the mother-baby dyad is close, and maintained by constant closeness: co-sleeping face-to-face, carrying in a sling, and breast feeding at very frequent intervals.
These traditional practices are in contrast to American childrearing, which is WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic, but also just plain odd). Medicalized western births, starting with early separations at the hospital, and continuing on through a system of quiet and isolated nurseries and regimented feeding and sleep training systems, seem to produce mostly negative outcomes, from colicky babies, to failures to breastfeed, to child mortality far in excess of other developed nations.
Small has a clear agenda against medicalized births here, from the title which is a riff on the famous feminist health book "Our Bodies, Ourselves", to her selection of ethnographic case studies. In the decades since this book has been published medical practice has move towards Small's arguments. For our upcoming birth, Kaiser will place the baby on the mother immediately after delivery (barring a clear medical emergency). Breastfeeding is, if not well supported, better supported.
This is a fascinating book, but I wish Small had included more from other developed nations. We are unlikely to adapt !Kung childrearing practices, but perhaps the Netherlands or Japan has some cultural practices that better fit working motherhood under capitalism. Still, I can see this book being revolutionary when published, and it's aged very well.
November 1, 2009
Well, nothing to make you feel insecure about your own parenting than reading about cultures where the kids get held for 3x the amount of US kids, and only cry for a few seconds at a time. Gives you something to think about, but I don't think I'll be very successful at this until I have a whole village to pass my kid along to, or at least a back strong enough to wear a sling for more than half an hour.
So far, long on introduction - as in, I read the intro and am now 60 or so pages in and still feels like intro.
After finishing - plenty of interesting info, but wish there was more diversity of cultures/information. Mainly focuses on Gusii, Kung San, and US/Western cultures, with a couple other tidbits thrown in. Much of it still reads like an intro to antropology textbook, and is repetitive enough that any college students assigned this may want to play a drinking game - I'd suggest every time she says that the Kung San breastfeed every 13 minutes.
So far, long on introduction - as in, I read the intro and am now 60 or so pages in and still feels like intro.
After finishing - plenty of interesting info, but wish there was more diversity of cultures/information. Mainly focuses on Gusii, Kung San, and US/Western cultures, with a couple other tidbits thrown in. Much of it still reads like an intro to antropology textbook, and is repetitive enough that any college students assigned this may want to play a drinking game - I'd suggest every time she says that the Kung San breastfeed every 13 minutes.
January 8, 2013
I appreciated the break from the normal pregnancy books with this one... But I was hoping for something a little more enlightening. But I felt like the most interesting points about other cultures were discussed in the preface. It did give me some things to think about related to breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I can't believe America is the only culture where co-sleeping doesn't really happen. And the idea that babies need co-sleeping so they can learn to breathe since they aren't completely developed at birth certainly was something to think about. More research to come on my part.
March 20, 2013
Excellent! A review of the way humans around the world parent, including hunter/gatherer tribes and Western, industrialized countries. It is shocking how backwards many American traditions are. Why are we more concerned about facilitating a child's independence over their emotional security and well-being? That is the path that we are on when we stop breastfeeding a few months after birth, leave infants to sleep alone in separate rooms, and spend just twenty percent of the time in physical contact/holding our children. Yikes! A MUST READ FOR ALL MOMS AND DADS-TO-BE!
February 23, 2016
Velmi zaujimave pisanie o etnopediatrii a jej roznych pohladoch na deti - nosenie, dojcenie, spanie, vyvin cloveka a vyvin dietata, preco sa rodime v podstate nedovyvinuti a pod. Porovnavanie roznych kultur, ako to v nich chodi, popis roznych studii. Samozrejme z celej knizky vyznieva priklon k prirodnejsej vychove, ale nezaznievaju tam ziadne nasilne sudy a odmietanie spravanie tej ktorej kultury - pre mna velmi dobre zmierlivo pisana kniha, ktora ma hlavu a patu.
December 28, 2024
Пожалуй самая важная книга для родителей. Конечно, эти идеи были развиты в других трудах (см. Петрановская), и какие-то частности более проработаны и обновлены у других авторов, но сама концепция влияния культуры на воспитание передана у Мередит Смол наилучшим образом.
Возможно взгляды на засыпание младенцев, грудное вскармливание и ношение на руках будут меняться со временем, но автор отлично показала что важно не текущие тренды, а понимание, что тренды задаются обществом и к ним нужно относится с критическим мнением.
Возможно взгляды на засыпание младенцев, грудное вскармливание и ношение на руках будут меняться со временем, но автор отлично показала что важно не текущие тренды, а понимание, что тренды задаются обществом и к ним нужно относится с критическим мнением.
September 19, 2018
Readable, informative, interesting, fact-based - what's not to love?
November 30, 2018
Great book even for us dads!
June 19, 2010
I wish I had read this book before I had babies, but I'm definitely glad I'm reading it when they're still little. It is about the field of ethnopediatrics, the comparative study of parenting across cultures, with the ultimate goal of determining where mismatches between biology and culture exist so that we can better meet our babies' needs.
A major tenet of Small's argument is that the biology of babies has evolved at a pace much slower than our culture's technology and lifestyle. As a result, we have accepted as the norm many parenting practices that simply do not jive with what our babies really need from us. That chapter about the evolution of babies isn't quite as interesting as later chapters but it's important for understanding and appreciating them (though I decided to skim after awhile).
An interesting fact: The SIDS rate is lower in countries where babies sleep with an adult.
"The United States consistently stands out as the only society in which babies are routinely placed in their own beds and in their own rooms; in one survey of a hundred societies, only parents in the United States maintained separate quarters for their babies, and in another study of twelve societies, all parents but Americans slept with their babies until weaning." WEIRD. Equally weird: I feel almost ashamed to tell people that my babies sleep with me. I've learned to keep that little tidbit to myself just to avoid looks of concern from people who have been convinced by pediatricians--and crib manufacturers--that I'm going to roll over and suffocate my baby. What is our deal! Oh, it's our obsession with fostering independence from day one. I even know someone who said to me, "My job as a parent is to teach my kids life skills. Sleeping is a life skill and he may as well learn it now." This when his son was just a few months old and wailing in his crib for an HOUR.
Perhaps the most important thing I gleaned from this book was the simple realization that almost all traits, both good and bad, are culturally defined. What Dutch parents consider to be an "intelligent" child is far different from what Kipsigis Africans think, or even Americans. What we consider a "difficult" baby is completely different from the way even Italians define it. It makes me look at milestones and all of our other expectations of our babies in a completely different light. The things we take for granted because of the culture in which we are raised, really aren't granted. They're just cultural.
A major tenet of Small's argument is that the biology of babies has evolved at a pace much slower than our culture's technology and lifestyle. As a result, we have accepted as the norm many parenting practices that simply do not jive with what our babies really need from us. That chapter about the evolution of babies isn't quite as interesting as later chapters but it's important for understanding and appreciating them (though I decided to skim after awhile).
An interesting fact: The SIDS rate is lower in countries where babies sleep with an adult.
"The United States consistently stands out as the only society in which babies are routinely placed in their own beds and in their own rooms; in one survey of a hundred societies, only parents in the United States maintained separate quarters for their babies, and in another study of twelve societies, all parents but Americans slept with their babies until weaning." WEIRD. Equally weird: I feel almost ashamed to tell people that my babies sleep with me. I've learned to keep that little tidbit to myself just to avoid looks of concern from people who have been convinced by pediatricians--and crib manufacturers--that I'm going to roll over and suffocate my baby. What is our deal! Oh, it's our obsession with fostering independence from day one. I even know someone who said to me, "My job as a parent is to teach my kids life skills. Sleeping is a life skill and he may as well learn it now." This when his son was just a few months old and wailing in his crib for an HOUR.
Perhaps the most important thing I gleaned from this book was the simple realization that almost all traits, both good and bad, are culturally defined. What Dutch parents consider to be an "intelligent" child is far different from what Kipsigis Africans think, or even Americans. What we consider a "difficult" baby is completely different from the way even Italians define it. It makes me look at milestones and all of our other expectations of our babies in a completely different light. The things we take for granted because of the culture in which we are raised, really aren't granted. They're just cultural.
July 8, 2008
This book is better than the usual pop psychology book on parenting. It is essentially a review of the relatively new field of ethnopediatrics by an anthropologist. It tackles the nature/nurture question head on and makes some truly subtle points in places. At times the author lapses into vague generalizations about our Pleistocene past determining our current biological drives. And rather suprisingly, given that the author is a female anthropologist, some of the discussions about co-sleeping etc. tend to romanticize the lifestyles of 3rd world mothers. Curiously this book actually develops an argument based on evolutionary psychology and anthropological studies of kinship for why men are motivated to nurture their offspring--provided that cultures enforce some safeguards to assure them of paternity... I tend to find evolutionary psychology sexist and unsophisticated in its understanding of all things cultural, especially gender roles. However, this particular chapter was creative and did get my attention. Particularly since this genre of research usually tends to reinforce the idea that men are biologically driven to spread their seed and abandon their progeny --a thin version of "selfish gene" nonsense that I personally find politically as well as scientifically offensive. Instead the author really attempts to plum the depths of anthropological kinship studies--a potentially rich resources for research in parenting.
Overall this book is a much needed introduction to cross-cultural parenting practices. In general the author emphasizes the resilience of babies and downplays paranoia about making the wrong choices as a parent--unlike many parenting advice books! It is not a perfect book, it does not deal with class issues around parenting or generational issues around parenting. It pretty much exclusively focuses on ethnic differences among cultural groups. It also does not address the important topic of consumerism directly. As a soon to be parent those are the issues that seem to touch my life most directly.
Overall this book is a much needed introduction to cross-cultural parenting practices. In general the author emphasizes the resilience of babies and downplays paranoia about making the wrong choices as a parent--unlike many parenting advice books! It is not a perfect book, it does not deal with class issues around parenting or generational issues around parenting. It pretty much exclusively focuses on ethnic differences among cultural groups. It also does not address the important topic of consumerism directly. As a soon to be parent those are the issues that seem to touch my life most directly.
June 9, 2011
If I could rate this 2.5 stars I would....
What I liked: the examples of how a variety of world cultures approach major parenting choices such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and bedtime/sleep issues. Really fascinating to read, and a variety of different approaches can still lead to healthy, happy, well-adjusted children! I wish she'd focused more on this aspect and left the other stuff out.
What was interesting but I'm on the fence about it: the evolutionary biology stuff. It was interesting to read about, but I'm not sure how much you can really claim that just because we're primates we should raise our children the way monkeys do...
What I didn't like: I felt like the author was trying to have it both ways. She kept saying that she was presenting different approaches to parenting without making value judgments. But there was a definite undercurrent that American parenting culture has removed itself from children's biological needs. There is judgment implicit in that thesis. For an American parent, I actually do think I fall more on the attachment parenting end of the spectrum... I breastfeed, occasionally co-sleep, and my son is hardly ever away from at least one of his parents, but even I was offended by some of her statements (e.g. "colic" only exists in America because parents can't handle a baby crying and want to have a medical reason for it???) I also suspect the author really wanted to feel like she was making a relevant contribution to academic discourse on the subject but fell short of her goal. It's an interesting read but not necessarily an enlightening piece of scholarship.
What I liked: the examples of how a variety of world cultures approach major parenting choices such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and bedtime/sleep issues. Really fascinating to read, and a variety of different approaches can still lead to healthy, happy, well-adjusted children! I wish she'd focused more on this aspect and left the other stuff out.
What was interesting but I'm on the fence about it: the evolutionary biology stuff. It was interesting to read about, but I'm not sure how much you can really claim that just because we're primates we should raise our children the way monkeys do...
What I didn't like: I felt like the author was trying to have it both ways. She kept saying that she was presenting different approaches to parenting without making value judgments. But there was a definite undercurrent that American parenting culture has removed itself from children's biological needs. There is judgment implicit in that thesis. For an American parent, I actually do think I fall more on the attachment parenting end of the spectrum... I breastfeed, occasionally co-sleep, and my son is hardly ever away from at least one of his parents, but even I was offended by some of her statements (e.g. "colic" only exists in America because parents can't handle a baby crying and want to have a medical reason for it???) I also suspect the author really wanted to feel like she was making a relevant contribution to academic discourse on the subject but fell short of her goal. It's an interesting read but not necessarily an enlightening piece of scholarship.
March 24, 2009
This book was really good but, a bit hard to get into. Its also a little academic. That said, I think it really challenged me, was full of very stimulating meaty research and kind of changed my perspective as a parent. I've always leaned towards attachment parenting and felt a little disjointed from much of common American parenting philosophy, but this book pushed me even further into that camp. I felt like reading the careful research on cultures around the world and how they raise children refreshed my commitment to a high touch, responsive style of parenting and honestly, it exposed some silly ideas I had and some that I'm not sure are silly, but that I've never really thought about and examined for myself. I think its kind of stunning just how "weird" we are on the world stage as a country for the amount of physical contact we give our infants, our attitudes on baby sleep and our understanding of what a child needs from his/her parents. This book was a really impressive reminder. We're kind of alone.
I am not giving this book five stars because it feels a bit disjointed and the flow isn't as easy as I would have liked and because the first bit of the book is very dry and theoretical information about evolutionary theory and the author's guesses about our primordial ancestors. I almost quit reading.
I am not giving this book five stars because it feels a bit disjointed and the flow isn't as easy as I would have liked and because the first bit of the book is very dry and theoretical information about evolutionary theory and the author's guesses about our primordial ancestors. I almost quit reading.
March 11, 2013
An ethnopediatric argument for reevaluating the ways we in the West have been taught to care for babies, combining evidence from anthropology, evolutionary biology, and pediatrics. The author makes a strong argument for immediate contact with the infant after birth, co-sleeping, continuous feeding (or as close as possible to it), and responding quickly to cries, and uses case studies from !Kung San people in Africa, Japanese parents, and American parents to demonstrate how extremely different parenting styles are culturally ingrained as "normal." Although other reviewers have criticized this book for being too critical of the American style of parenting that places heavy emphasis on independence from the earliest age, I think Small's goal was really to show that people can grow up to be just as independent, successful, and well-adjusted if they are reared in greater dependence on the parents as they are if raised the "standard American" way.
November 13, 2010
"Culture should not be a dictator but a facilitator," according to the author of this really interesting book. Small looks at many different cultures and the lessons they bring to raising babies, along with why each culture may have different approaches (e.g. longer term societal goals not just short-term goals for not crying). She encourages parents to question their own cultures, to seek what is best for the child and to examine what our parental goals may be. While I may not adopt all of her suggestions for care taking, I appreciate her thoughtful, well-researched approached.
Readers of Happiest Baby on the Block: this book offers more insight, important context and research notation on the !Kung San, the Efe and other cultures, as well as the idea of the "4th" trimester (in fact, Karp may have just lifted his ideas from this book since he gives no references...).
Readers of Happiest Baby on the Block: this book offers more insight, important context and research notation on the !Kung San, the Efe and other cultures, as well as the idea of the "4th" trimester (in fact, Karp may have just lifted his ideas from this book since he gives no references...).
May 24, 2016
I read this book when my son was around 5 months old - so that was over a year and a half ago. In the sea of parenting books that are constantly shoved in our faces as new mothers, this one was like a life preserver for me! Learning a little about how people of all different cultures all over the world raise their children helped me to let go of some of the ideas our society has put into my head over the years about how I was "supposed to" parent my son. As a first time and kind of high strung mother this book provided the positive affirmation that I needed - that the only kind of parent you should try to be is the one you are.
October 19, 2013
This book broadly covers the ideas of ethnopediatrics, the study of how child rearing practices differ around the world. There were two areas where it is obvious the Americans (and some related groups) fundamentally differ from the rest of the world in child rearing practices, feeding (including breast feeding) and sleep practices. The American notions on child sleep and eating practices seem to stem from puritanical beliefs and are not grounded in biology. American doctors recommend child rearing techniques which are based on desires not science.
This is an insightful book well worth reading.
This is an insightful book well worth reading.
May 21, 2018
While the premise of the book (examining cross cultural variation in parenting practices) is interesting, the book is overly repetitive and academic. The first 70 or so pages read like an introduction to anthropology - something I’ve already covered in my university days and certainly not necessary for preparing for parenthood. The experimental evidence in the book is dated, and the author seems to have cherry picked studies to support their view which becomes obvious early on: as much as they talk about the importance of cultural variation, the author clearly thinks that a non-Western parenting style where babies are breastfed based on need and carried around is superior.
December 20, 2012
I felt like this book tried to be both academic and parent-friendly and missed the mark on both. Much of it was repetitive with minimal breakthrough concepts. It focused a great deal on parenting in developing nations - but was done in a manner that really was offensive to Western culture. With the breadth of material on this subject I wouldn't recommend reading this book.
September 19, 2019
Srovnání, jak to mají s výchovu děti v jiných kulturách. Ukázka toho, ze vlastně není vůbec přirozené, aby děti spaly celou noc v odděleném pokoji a byly krmeny z flašky.
Dítě, které nespí je Ok, jeho lehký spanek je přirozený. Pláč je přirozený, zajišťoval přežití (děti ubrecene prezily, narozdíl od těch klidných).
Ke konci se kniha už trochu opakuje, neříká nic nového.
Dítě, které nespí je Ok, jeho lehký spanek je přirozený. Pláč je přirozený, zajišťoval přežití (děti ubrecene prezily, narozdíl od těch klidných).
Ke konci se kniha už trochu opakuje, neříká nic nového.
October 4, 2021
Excellent, readable comparative anthropological take on pregnancy, birth and the reading of infants, comparing the US (circa 1999) with both specific other cultures (the Ache of Paraguay, the !Kung San of Southern Africa) and other cultures in aggregate via meta analyses (“of 186 cultures, #% displayed such and such a practice).
I loved the information in the book and the vivid descriptions of infant reading in very foreign cultures, focused in particular on practices like breast feeding and contact sleeping with infants. The core takeaway of the book is that here in the US/West, many practices we view as normal (to the point of enforcing legally and punitively on our minority populations), such as sleeping separately from our children and breast feeding on a schedule, are at odds with how most or all other cultures do it. The book is an effective assault on both the arrogance and internal conformity of US birthing practice. The author also goes a step further and basically argues mainstream white US orthodoxy is “wrong” on these issues.
I thought the book was mostly right, although author overstates how deleterious some US practices might be… I think you can be super close to your kid and they’ll grow up with zero early infancy trauma if you teach them to sleep on their own. However I generally like the idea of trying to increase the share of time you spend in contact with your infant and I like the emphasis on cultural relativity and tolerance that we can be so bad at here.
What is reassuring is how dated this book felt at times, railing against an America that, 20 years ago, was so much less interesting and experimental than it is today (although we are somewhat similarly insular).
Generally would have liked it if she’s been a bit less polemical and more scholarly, but overall still worth reading especially for a parent or parent-to-be.
I loved the information in the book and the vivid descriptions of infant reading in very foreign cultures, focused in particular on practices like breast feeding and contact sleeping with infants. The core takeaway of the book is that here in the US/West, many practices we view as normal (to the point of enforcing legally and punitively on our minority populations), such as sleeping separately from our children and breast feeding on a schedule, are at odds with how most or all other cultures do it. The book is an effective assault on both the arrogance and internal conformity of US birthing practice. The author also goes a step further and basically argues mainstream white US orthodoxy is “wrong” on these issues.
I thought the book was mostly right, although author overstates how deleterious some US practices might be… I think you can be super close to your kid and they’ll grow up with zero early infancy trauma if you teach them to sleep on their own. However I generally like the idea of trying to increase the share of time you spend in contact with your infant and I like the emphasis on cultural relativity and tolerance that we can be so bad at here.
What is reassuring is how dated this book felt at times, railing against an America that, 20 years ago, was so much less interesting and experimental than it is today (although we are somewhat similarly insular).
Generally would have liked it if she’s been a bit less polemical and more scholarly, but overall still worth reading especially for a parent or parent-to-be.
January 26, 2014
So I’m having my first baby in 10 weeks time (assuming punctuality on the part of my unborn daughter). As the oldest of 5 with an extensive track record of babysitting my own and other similarly Catholic (i.e. large) families I’d like to think I’ve got an advantage when it comes down to some of the nuts and bolts of basic baby maintenance. I can bottle feed, burp, bathe, and change a mean diaper. I have experienced the existential horror that is a baby that won’t stop crying.
I have never actually been in charge of raising one of the little critters myself and in this case I will be doing so with an ocean between my family and me and in a deceptively dissimilar culture (both in time and place) to my own Dr Spock led Texas upbringing. I’ve avoided the baby books up to this point because the world of parenting advice has always struck me as a cruel and contradictory place populated with competitive benchmarks, baby-led weaning evangelists and intense boob-related pressures.
As my due date has waddled closer, though, and my bump has become increasingly sentient I’ve decided that some background reading might be an idea. To this end I have avoided mumsnet and current best sellers and started in a place I feel more comfortable; anthropological research. I chose ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ because it appeared to promise a solid scientific understanding of the evolution and biology of infants, against which I could then be in a better position to judge the validity of, say, baby sign language or toddler nursing.
I’m please to report that, to a large extent, this book did just that. The first three chapters look at the global history of babies, moving from primate evolution to hunter gatherer parenting solutions to an overview of world-wide parenting customs. The final chapters take turns dealing with the Big Three; sleeping, crying and feeding. This book was published in 1999 so by this point a fair bit of it’s knowledge has passed into the mainstream (at least in the UK) but it’s still worth reading if only as a concise, well cited compendium of knowledge otherwise picked up from scattered sources. Any baby book with a 23 page bibliography is my kind of baby book.
What ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ outlines, in a nutshell, is that infants evolved to be part of a dual partnership, that is, constantly held and slept with, fed little and often and responded to immediately upon crying. Obviously this system is no longer feasible or even possible for a vast many parents in this modern world and that’s ok. Humans are adaptable and the continued functioning of the Western world is pretty good proof that formula and a crib does not make for an irrevocably damaged human being. It might, however, make for a rather fussy baby, which was born evolutionarily hardwired for a certain set of responses and instead encounters scheduled feedings and controlled crying. This leads to frustration, which, inevitably, leads to uncontrolled crying and parental mental breakdown.
Well, it makes sense to me and the science/case studies are certainly there. Incedentally, ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ asserts that colic is a fake/Western ailment and does not occur in cultures were co-sleeping and on-cue (we are discouraged from calling it ‘on demand’) feeding are common. For those of you unfortunate enough to have intimate experience with a colicky child you will recognise this assertion as the equivalent of telling someone AIDS is actually all in your mind and disappears if you meditate enough. There is no way anyone who prayed to previously untested deities to calm a scarlet infant during their 3rd hour of screeching inchoate rage can accept that colic is caused by anything other than a real, debilitating medical condition and yet it simply does not appear to exist in the majority of contemporary world cultures.
For this magical fairy unicorn promise of colic cure alone I would give the mum/baby dual partnership thing a shot. As it stands, I’ve never really been a fan of the controlled crying thing, either so I’m happy resolving to tend to baby’s every whimper. Similarly, we’ve currently got neither the space nor funds for a crib or pram at the moment, so co-sleeping and constant carrying also appear to be doable and frugal options. All that’s left is to pray to the patron saint of breast feeding (there must be one, surely) for comfort and functionality and we’re set to raise the child like the !Kung San themselves (you will hear much about the !Kung San in this book. The ‘!’ is silent.)
It bears emphasizing that these are all pre-birth goals, made with the full realisation that they may not last long. I’m prepared to be practical about this. As I said, my mother was a disciple of Dr. Spock and I’m a generally balanced, functioning human. It’s nice to have the evolutionary background, though, along with the understanding that there is an inverse relationship between constant caring and crying. I’m glad I read this book, if only for the solid reassurance that it’s ok (if not better) not to have a separate room for the baby and not to have set feeding and sleeping times, staples of baby raising I internalized growing up. Plenty of time for all that boring, discipline stuff once they’ve figured out how to focus their eyes and manage their limbs.
Next I’ve started reading a more traditional baby book, which promises 5 simple steps to stop screaming. It seems alright (the proof will be in the pudding/baby) but it has definitely given me an advanced level of appreciation for the writing style of ‘Our Babies, Ourselves.’ If the ‘Howdy Campers!’ cheese of your run of the mill parenting book is beginning to wear thin, then this will make for a welcome break. Small talks to you like a grown-up and believes in your ability to comprehend basic scientific terms and principles. I appreciate this belief more with every page I read of ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’. (so many exclamation points)
Is ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ perfect? Well, the promise of a colic cure is yet untested in this house, but I am convinced that it exists in the wider world for the reasons outlined in this text. This is not a how-to so you won’t find a wide variety of techniques or any Q&A. This is an anthropological overview of infants and it does the job well. For my purposes, it does what it says on the tin. I feel I’ve gained a good theoretical background to complement my practical experience and that the two together will help me overcome the gulf of ignorance in between when my little girl finally gets out here in all her overwhelming glory.
I’ll go ahead and give this a 5. I’ve not read many baby books, but that’s because there aren’t enough like this. I would recommend it to anyone with even a casual interest in procreation.
I have never actually been in charge of raising one of the little critters myself and in this case I will be doing so with an ocean between my family and me and in a deceptively dissimilar culture (both in time and place) to my own Dr Spock led Texas upbringing. I’ve avoided the baby books up to this point because the world of parenting advice has always struck me as a cruel and contradictory place populated with competitive benchmarks, baby-led weaning evangelists and intense boob-related pressures.
As my due date has waddled closer, though, and my bump has become increasingly sentient I’ve decided that some background reading might be an idea. To this end I have avoided mumsnet and current best sellers and started in a place I feel more comfortable; anthropological research. I chose ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ because it appeared to promise a solid scientific understanding of the evolution and biology of infants, against which I could then be in a better position to judge the validity of, say, baby sign language or toddler nursing.
I’m please to report that, to a large extent, this book did just that. The first three chapters look at the global history of babies, moving from primate evolution to hunter gatherer parenting solutions to an overview of world-wide parenting customs. The final chapters take turns dealing with the Big Three; sleeping, crying and feeding. This book was published in 1999 so by this point a fair bit of it’s knowledge has passed into the mainstream (at least in the UK) but it’s still worth reading if only as a concise, well cited compendium of knowledge otherwise picked up from scattered sources. Any baby book with a 23 page bibliography is my kind of baby book.
What ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ outlines, in a nutshell, is that infants evolved to be part of a dual partnership, that is, constantly held and slept with, fed little and often and responded to immediately upon crying. Obviously this system is no longer feasible or even possible for a vast many parents in this modern world and that’s ok. Humans are adaptable and the continued functioning of the Western world is pretty good proof that formula and a crib does not make for an irrevocably damaged human being. It might, however, make for a rather fussy baby, which was born evolutionarily hardwired for a certain set of responses and instead encounters scheduled feedings and controlled crying. This leads to frustration, which, inevitably, leads to uncontrolled crying and parental mental breakdown.
Well, it makes sense to me and the science/case studies are certainly there. Incedentally, ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ asserts that colic is a fake/Western ailment and does not occur in cultures were co-sleeping and on-cue (we are discouraged from calling it ‘on demand’) feeding are common. For those of you unfortunate enough to have intimate experience with a colicky child you will recognise this assertion as the equivalent of telling someone AIDS is actually all in your mind and disappears if you meditate enough. There is no way anyone who prayed to previously untested deities to calm a scarlet infant during their 3rd hour of screeching inchoate rage can accept that colic is caused by anything other than a real, debilitating medical condition and yet it simply does not appear to exist in the majority of contemporary world cultures.
For this magical fairy unicorn promise of colic cure alone I would give the mum/baby dual partnership thing a shot. As it stands, I’ve never really been a fan of the controlled crying thing, either so I’m happy resolving to tend to baby’s every whimper. Similarly, we’ve currently got neither the space nor funds for a crib or pram at the moment, so co-sleeping and constant carrying also appear to be doable and frugal options. All that’s left is to pray to the patron saint of breast feeding (there must be one, surely) for comfort and functionality and we’re set to raise the child like the !Kung San themselves (you will hear much about the !Kung San in this book. The ‘!’ is silent.)
It bears emphasizing that these are all pre-birth goals, made with the full realisation that they may not last long. I’m prepared to be practical about this. As I said, my mother was a disciple of Dr. Spock and I’m a generally balanced, functioning human. It’s nice to have the evolutionary background, though, along with the understanding that there is an inverse relationship between constant caring and crying. I’m glad I read this book, if only for the solid reassurance that it’s ok (if not better) not to have a separate room for the baby and not to have set feeding and sleeping times, staples of baby raising I internalized growing up. Plenty of time for all that boring, discipline stuff once they’ve figured out how to focus their eyes and manage their limbs.
Next I’ve started reading a more traditional baby book, which promises 5 simple steps to stop screaming. It seems alright (the proof will be in the pudding/baby) but it has definitely given me an advanced level of appreciation for the writing style of ‘Our Babies, Ourselves.’ If the ‘Howdy Campers!’ cheese of your run of the mill parenting book is beginning to wear thin, then this will make for a welcome break. Small talks to you like a grown-up and believes in your ability to comprehend basic scientific terms and principles. I appreciate this belief more with every page I read of ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’. (so many exclamation points)
Is ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ perfect? Well, the promise of a colic cure is yet untested in this house, but I am convinced that it exists in the wider world for the reasons outlined in this text. This is not a how-to so you won’t find a wide variety of techniques or any Q&A. This is an anthropological overview of infants and it does the job well. For my purposes, it does what it says on the tin. I feel I’ve gained a good theoretical background to complement my practical experience and that the two together will help me overcome the gulf of ignorance in between when my little girl finally gets out here in all her overwhelming glory.
I’ll go ahead and give this a 5. I’ve not read many baby books, but that’s because there aren’t enough like this. I would recommend it to anyone with even a casual interest in procreation.
July 28, 2021
Okay, I’ve had it with this book. This book has been on my radar for years, so I was excited to read it! After the first third I thought, okay not quite as fascinating as I was hoping but okay.
After having spoken about the importance of cultural relativity and learning about different cultures, Small tells about the Ache tribes of Paraguay, who revoltingly used to practice the regular homicide of their children, either at birth if they were deemed somehow unfit (which even not having enough hair makes you unfit) or at older ages if they lacked living parents or relatives to keep them from being buried alive. Almost as disturbing is how Small’s cultural relativism apparently makes her incapable of condemning the practice.
Small does not extend the same impartial language to western culture. Her section on crying is particularly illuminating, when she shows her cards as an attachment parenting ideologue and incapable scientist, adding in the qualifiers she apparently lacked for the Ache when she describes research on child temperament.
Always determined to finish a book once I’ve started, I soldiered on until I reached the penultimate chapter, on breastfeeding. Quite appropriately, I was pumping when I read her section on the biology of breastfeeding in which she claims there is “a single pore that projects from the end of the breast.” One look downwards at that point showed me two good reasons why this sentence was laughable. So too, the rest of the book.
After having spoken about the importance of cultural relativity and learning about different cultures, Small tells about the Ache tribes of Paraguay, who revoltingly used to practice the regular homicide of their children, either at birth if they were deemed somehow unfit (which even not having enough hair makes you unfit) or at older ages if they lacked living parents or relatives to keep them from being buried alive. Almost as disturbing is how Small’s cultural relativism apparently makes her incapable of condemning the practice.
Small does not extend the same impartial language to western culture. Her section on crying is particularly illuminating, when she shows her cards as an attachment parenting ideologue and incapable scientist, adding in the qualifiers she apparently lacked for the Ache when she describes research on child temperament.
Always determined to finish a book once I’ve started, I soldiered on until I reached the penultimate chapter, on breastfeeding. Quite appropriately, I was pumping when I read her section on the biology of breastfeeding in which she claims there is “a single pore that projects from the end of the breast.” One look downwards at that point showed me two good reasons why this sentence was laughable. So too, the rest of the book.
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