I'm In The Tub, Gone

by Richard Carlson

We now live in a time of comfort, convenience and opportunity such as mankind has never known. With all the great things we are provided, we also get many side effects that some thrive on and others do not welcome. Some of these are expectations, added or unwanted responsibility, inconvenience, or extreme supervision to name a few. We all deal with these pressures in a different manner. Then we add another factor, our personal lives. Most people have the ultimate goal to make their personal lives better. We want a happy, normal life at home, no matter what our status is in the community. Some choose suicide as an option to get relief. These are true stories of those final thoughts. Could they have been helped? We will never know. Can we help others in desperate need? Maybe, if we provide a little kindness and understanding. At least we can try.

Genres: Nonfiction

124 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Richard James Carlson was born in Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada April 28,1947. Immigrated to the United States in 1956 and became a citizen in 1965. He enjoyed a 35 year career with the San Diego Police Department as a uniformed Officer and then a Detective. He worked in Child Abuse, Homicide and the Violent crimes task force. Rick was the spokesman for the San Diego police Department for 12 years and a Negotiator for 15 years. Negotiators do their assigned jobs and are also Negotiator when called upon. He is now retired and has a business renting cars and props to movie companies. You may have seen some of his vehicles in the series Terriers on the FX channel. He hopes that his book will give you some insight into the minds of those who made the final choice to end life and think twice before making a permanent decision to a temporary problem. Life is to precious to throw away in an instant. This is not a book of morbid curiosity. It is meant to teach you the state of mind of those willing to end their lives. Giving you the tools to recognize the symptoms of overwhelming anxiety and lend a hand before it is to late.

Reviews

[CoolBreeze1978 · Rating 2 out of 5]

These letters are touching, intimate, and very very sad. I recommend reading a letter or two like these for anyone interested in psychology, helping people that consider suicide, and to those who have had friends and loved ones who have committed suicide. I chose to read this because: 1)as an EMT, I see a lot of patients who have either tried, are trying, or have committed suicide; 2)In large part, because like many people my life has been forever altered by a friend or loved one's suicide and suicide attempts. And 3) mostly because as a human being, it is an option that everybody has, and that many consider at one time or another. Albert Camus called suicide, "The only philosophical question that matters."

In regards to these letters, it really is tough to understand the amount of pain these people are in. Some are angry, some are depressed, some seem indifferent, some sound confused, others very lucid, but they all exhibit some degree of hopelessness. This collection, "I'm in the Tub, Gone" was compiled by a former police detective over the course of his career as an officer. I don't think it's called for or necessary to critique the letters themselves. They stand as they are. The book as a published whole, however, is not put together very well. Maybe it's the format itself. Reading suicide note after suicide note somehow gives a terrible homogenizing effect to events that were clearly very unique and personal. All in all, the feeling I had after finishing this book was more empty than empathetic, more exhausted than moved. Reading maybe three or four of these letters would have been enough to help me understand what I needed to, twenty or thirty and the letters just seem to desensitize.

[DA · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting read

I didn't know what I hoped to gain by reading this, maybe empathy for those who took their lives.

Normally I'll skip introductions in books, but for this particular book I found it necessary. The author gives his background, former police negotiator, and the reasons he compiled these letters. While the introduction was full of pleas to those who may be contemplating suicide, I didn't think the author should have said to think of the loved ones they would be leaving behind. Someone in a feel depression that is already considering suicide shouldn't be made to feel guilty about what they see as the only option. It'll do more harm than good.

The book should have been formatted differently. All of the letters ran together, it was hard to know where one stopped and the next began. I think that definitely took away from the impact of reading someone's final thoughts. I thought that did a disservice to the memory of these people.

I do applaud the author's effort to encourage people to seek help and feel like there is no other choice, as well as helping others understand the thoughts that people have when they believe suicide is the answer.

[Stefan Flanigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is what it says it is- a collection of suicide letters. I read it in one sitting. I found no insight into life, and the only insight into suicide was that all of these people were lost in their pain. I feel that in itself is sufficient to justify reading the book, distressing as it is. But while the book is indeed dark, I found it heightened my appreciation of life. We all experience pain, and this book for me drove home the importance of appreciating the small things, in a way those lost souls could not on their last living day.

[James Seamone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard read but it was really eye opening.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an extremely interesting concept but the formatting of the book made it difficult to separate the letters.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Outside of the forward, this book is pretty much just the notes left behind by the people who committed suicide, without editorializing, without biographical detail, which is a little surprising since the author was a homicide detective and very likely had information that might have been relevant. Overall, it is what it is. Most of these people clearly sounded mentally I'll.

[Rachel Lennon · Rating 3 out of 5]

intereting last letters left by suicidal people.