Sudeginta gyva

by Souad, Marie-Thérèse Cuny, Laima Račienė (Translator)

Septyniolikmetė Suada pirmą kartą įsimyli, ir jos meilė sulaukia atsako. Tačiau kaime, kuriame ji gyvena – kaip ir daugelyje kitų Palestinos kaimų, – įsimylėti iki vestuvių tolygu pasirašyti mirties nuosprendį. Todėl Suados šeima nusprendžia „garbę praradusią“ merginą nužudyti.

Kitą dieną po nuosprendžio vidiniame namų kiemelyje besitvarkančią merginą giminaitis apipila benzinu ir padega. Tačiau turėjusi mirti „dėl garbės“ Suada ir jos kūdikis per stebuklą išgyvena, ir, sulaukę vienos prancūzės pagalbos, pabėga nuo savo šeimos į Europą. Tačiau ir čia mergina negali jaustis saugi – gimtosios šalies papročiai jos giminaičius įpareigoja nužudyti ją bet kokia kaina...

Savo ruožtu žiauraus nuosprendžio vykdytojas vietos gyventojų akyse yra didvyris, nes jo nežmoniškas nusikaltimas yra „nusikaltimas dėl garbės“. Nuosprendžio vykdytojas niekuo nerizikavo, nes dėl jo veikos niekas niekada nesikreips į teisėsaugą.

Per metus pasaulyje įvykdoma gausybė panašių nusikaltimų, visuomenė kasmet sužino apie 5000 tokių įvykių, bet niekas negali pasakyti, kiek jų lieka nutylėta...

Per stebuklą likusi gyva Suada išdrįso papasakoti savo istoriją. Tai didvyriškas poelgis, nes pasauliui papasakodama apie savo tragediją moteris rizikuoja būti surasta giminių. Tačiau Suada įsitikinusi – ji privalo kalbėti. Tai vienintelis būdas atkreipti pasaulio dėmesį į barbariškus papročius, kasmet beprasmiškai pražudančius tūkstančius moterų, ir pradėti su jais kovą.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Middle East, Feminism, Autobiography, Biography Memoir

224 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Souad is the pen name of a Palestinian woman who is believed to be living in Europe. Burned Alive is her memoir.

Reviews

[Meaghan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Attention everyone: THIS IS NOT A REAL MEMOIR. This is a fictional story which was dressed up as a memoir, and the alleged author may not even exist. I was suspicious of it when I read it because the book described things which were, quite frankly, impossible. NO ONE could survive burns over 90% of their body without immediate and good medical treatment. For that matter, I doubt anyone could survive being burned that badly even if they got the best medical attention right away. I looked the book up online and found an essay by a reputable scholar noting its many historical/cultural inaccuracies. You can read the essay here: http://www.antiwar.com/orig/ttaylor.p... This is not a true story. It's a novel, and not a very good one.

It frankly disgusts me that some person could take advantage of a real, very sad situation -- the plight of women in the Middle East -- and write this fake, inaccurate and xenophobic "memoir" which preys on Western anxieties and misconceptions, in order to make a buck.

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm aware there is some degree of doubt as to veracity of this story. I don't care about it: fact-checking is not the important thing here. In fact, it would have warmed my heart enormously, had this plotline been created just by some writer's overactive imagination. However, it's not the case: we all know for a fact that victims of burning and chemical attacks, whose horrific experiences could have been used as the plot guideline for this book, do exist.

So, well, this book is not for the weak-hearted. It's either is a true story, in which case I'm extremely sorry for all the pain the protagonist went through, or a fictitious one, inspired by horrible situations created in real life, in which case it might be considered a memorial for all those women and girls who suffered terribly and either lived or not. In any case, it might be an eye opener for some people, myself included. And as such, it's perfect. Storytelling worked perfectly here to make me aware of this horror in threat of which many women live daily.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I honestly don't know how to rate this book. I don't know if it's a true story, nothing can prove it. If it wasn't I would give it a star and less if I could for using a situation like this to make money.

Souad is a girl born in a traditional small village in Palestine. Girls were worth less than a cow in the eyes of society. Women have no rights, they are only slaves of men. They can beat you, hurt you, kill you and no one will say a word. It is okay because they are men and the women must have done something wrong and worth it. Like you know, picking a green tomato or giving birth to a girl. And the worst of it, all the girls are submissives. They were born like this and so they'll die. Just like their mothers and daughters later. Girls only can go to the market with someone older and look at their feets if they aren't wed. So by marriage, a girl can get her freedom even if her husband would still beat her deadly but at least, she can go out alone. She can easily be called a whore and a slut, for a mere whisper and rumor.

In an atmosphere like this one, you can only imagine what would happen to a girl who loses her virginity, let alone gets pregnant before marriage. And that what happened with Souad. A seventeen years old girl who dreams of being wed to serve her husband and most of all, be free. But unfortunately, the older sister must get married first. And hers is almost 20 and still single. That's how she fell in love with the neighbour who broke his wedding promise after he got her pregnant. Having sex before marriage is the most dishonourable taboo. And it's all about honor their. Her brother-in-law was responsible given the task to end her life. By burning her with the baby. She was burned alive. And survived. After a long journey, Souad tells her story how she escaped this society and was introduced to a world where women equal men.

First, I'd like to say that I'm from the Middle-East. I've heard a lot about women suffering from similar conditions (not burning though). And we have studied a lot about these communities. No one had survived anyway and came back to tell his story. Still, I was surprised to know that in Palestine we still have something horrifying like this in the 60s. If it's a girl who's born they kill her or even sometimes bury her alive. That isn't humanist. And I'm disappointed to know that there aren't rebellions from women and enough organisations who look in these cases.

This book shows the story of a woman who survived so many hardships and came back to tell her unbelievable story.

Some Arabic words aren't pronounced correctly. For example, it's not "majmouma", it's "majnouna" meaning insane. And "halouf" isn't even a word. It's translated as pig in the book but the real word is "(k)hanzir". Maybe she was mistaken with "(k)harouf" which means a lamb.

[Dalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zguduitoare. O carte care trezește feminismul latent din mine.
Unde sunt apărătorii drepturilor omului când femeile sunt reduse la statutul de servitoare sau cel mult obiecte? Când nu au dreptul la educație, libertate și iubire? Când familia, la care teoretic au dreptul, le vinde sau, mai rău, le omoară?

[Niako Lomidze · Rating 5 out of 5]

კაცები უნდა გადაშენდნენ.

[Kristina Dauksiene · Rating 2 out of 5]

LT/ ENG
Dažniausiai tokios istorijos paliečia, sudrebina pamatines vertybes, išleidžia į išorę puokštę jausmų...
deja bet ne šį kartą...
Kamuolys nesusipratimo: tema apvilkta sudegusiu rūbu, ne tik kad kvapo neskleidžia, bet ir barška tuščiai tragišku vertimu, nerišlia kalba ir sakiniais. Istorija talpinanti savyje garbės nusikaltimus, normas, nepriimtinas mums vakariečiams -ne tik, kad nepaliečia širdies, bet nusodina kartų, neskanų prieskonį, prisimenant- vyro poreikį- bet kokiomis sąlygomis, tabletes dėl baseino...

**********************************************
Usually, such stories touch, shake fundamental values, release a bouquet of feelings to the outside...
Unfortunately, but not this time...
A ball of misunderstanding: the topic is wrapped in burnt clothes; not only does it not emit a smell, but it also rattles with tragic translation, incoherent language, and sentences. A story that contains honor crimes, norms unacceptable to us Westerners - not only does it fail to touch the heart, but it leaves a bitter, unpleasant flavor, while reading of the need for a man to be under any conditions, e pills because of the pool...

[Andra Tiberia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nu mi-am dat seama ce norocoasa sunt pana am citit aceasta carte. O recomand atat persoanelor de gen feminin, cat mai ales celor de gen masculin, care nu stiu ce atrocitati indura reprezentantele sexului frumos in zone geografice aferente Orientului Mijlociu.

[Kylene Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I have read this book. I also do not believe it has anything to do with religion as much as cultures. What so many of us in the modern world seem to forget is that the rest of the world does not "progress" at the same rate. Women have had to fight to get our rights everywhere, it is much slower in isolated places like this. The women do not know better so they just accept it. Also, as another journaller mentioned, women are beaten and murdered here in the states. There are still men here (white Christian ones, too) that truly believe it is their right to beat their wives and there are women that stay with them. If you know anything about psychology, you understand that self worth has a huge impact on whether you tolerate things like this. Women that are beaten like this, have no self worth or love so they stay cuz "they deserve it" Our culture doesn't accept it but where Souad is from, it is still accepted so how can we expect them to have the courage to fight for their rights. I hope that someday, it will be taboo there, too, and there will be less of this all over the world. We also know that children that watch their moms beaten, tend to be abusers so the men in areas like this also have no hope of change at this time. Education is imperative to changing things like this.

About the book itself, I cannot imagine the pain she has had to endure and the strength and courage to get to where she is today. I applaud her for speaking out about this taboo subject. Good for her.

[Bent.viena.puslapi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pagaliau baigiau! Galbūt reikia paminėti , kad skaičiau senesnio leidimo knygą, bet nesu tikrai ar yra skirtumas.
Istorija ir tai kas vyksta su mergaitėmis tikrai sukrečia, paliečia ir sujaudina. (5⭐)
2⭐ duodu knygos vertimui. Vienas labiausiai įstrigusių: "aš turėjau keturiasdešimt metų" 🤦 Kai kur žodžių eiliškumas sakiniuose tiesiog erzino. Daug kas kartojosi. Pabaiga tokia išvis neišbaigta.

[Alabbadmohd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since I am a reader with Arabic background, i see this book representing our Past precisely, where women used to be treated as slaves.
I can not say that all Aravic countries had treated women the same way it was described in this book. But, i can say that most of it was true.
What I did not like is that Souad did not mention the good things about being raised in Arabic County.
Overall, it is a short story that will bring hate, anger & happiness to your heart at the same time.

[Fiona MacDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went through a phase years ago of being fascinated in the stories of women who have escaped honour-based violence in their families, and this was one of the books I had heard a great many things about.
Souad tells her story with great calm and intelligence - her life on the West Bank in constant fear of her father's beatings and the mysterious disappearance of her sister years before (which she now realises was an honour killing). The climax of course, is when Souad becomes pregnant as the result of a neighbour's promises of marriage (which lead to nothing) and her family decide that the dishonour is too great a shame to cope with - she must be killed.
The book left me emotionally exhausted and mentally drained, and I found myself so very proud of Souad and her courage to not only have her account written down on paper, but also her dedication to finally carving out a good life for herself and finding her own happiness.

[Johara · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a book full of crap!!! I can't believe that people bought it under the impression that it was a real story based on real facts! It's obviously fiction, and not pretty good!

It was a major punishment for me to read the whole book, and was just hoping that it will finish as soon as possible. I would have thrown out the book way before half way through the book, but wanted to see what's the end with our Souad and her dreadful way of being as pessimistic as she possibly can.

Being from the Middle East myself, she doesn't have her facts right. Honor crime does indeed exist in the region, that's the sad part of it ... but how could you be so stupid as to make a mistake and continue to think it's the next best thing you ever did in your life!

Very badly written, dragged on forever, the ending was still as bad as you would feel throughout the book, and you would wish that somewhere somehow Souad would show some sort of gratitude toward her new life. Noooo.

Please don't buy the book and waste time, feeling and energy on a very lame book. I can't even rate the book, but gave it a star just for the effort!

[Veronika Can · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nenoriai imuosi skaityti tokias knygas, per sunku, skaudu, kelią pyktį ir beviltiškumą.. bet ši knyga su šviesos spindulėliu, pusę knygos aprašoma būtent išgelbėjimo istorija. Nuostabią pagarbą kelia žmonės, kurie nelieka abejingi, kurie net rizikuodami ieško sąjungininkų ir stengiasi padėti.
Jei vietomis atrodo padrikai parašyta, tai suprantama, juk jis diktuojamas moters, kuri išgyveno tikrą siaubą. Skausmingi išgyvenimai, ir atmintis lyg apsaugo ją, neleidžia iš kart visko, su detalėm, prisiminti..
Šokiruoja vyrų elgesys su šeimos moterimis. Žinoma, kad vaiko lytis priklauso nuo vyro, bet čia visada kalta yra moteris, o vyras prilyginamas Dievui. Kaip patogu, moters švietimas visiškai apribotas, kad jos nežinotų ir nesuvoktų, kad už jų namų ir kaimelio sienų egzistuoja kitoks pasaulis, kitokios taisyklės ir gyvenimas.

🖋️ Bijojau šito gyvenimo, bet niekas to nesuprato.
🖋️ Pavydėjau laimingiems žmonėms, kurie vaikystėje nepatyrė jokios nelaimės, kurie nesaugo jokių paslapčių, negyvena dvigubo gyvenimo.
🖋️ Jeigu norime ką nors pamiršti, tai iš tikrųjų pamirštame.

[Jean Sasson · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I first read this book years ago, I was drawn totally into the story. I feel differently after reading a lot of other reviews and sadly came to the conclusion that perhaps this is not true. IF Souad exists, I wish she could come out and hold a press conference. Sometimes that is not possible, but I wish that she could do this.

However, I remind myself that whether Souad does or does not exist, such things do happen frequently to women in the world, and we can't let any disappointment in a book stop us from trying to save women from such brutalities.

[Saleh MoonWalker · Rating 3 out of 5]

با اینکه دقیقا معلوم نیست که داستان واقعیه یا نه، اما از دینداران سراسر جهان چنین حرکتی بعید نیست.
داستان واقعا تلخیه درباره زنی باردار که در حالی که هنوز زنده بود، به آتش کشیده شد و بعد موقع سوختن نجات داده شد. داستان کتاب دو بخش از زندگی این زن رو توضیح میده، قبل و بعد از این داستان. بدترین بخش کتاب جایی بود که اشاره میکرد که این حرکت یه سنت معمولی و حرکت رایج در جاییه که این زن زندگی میکرد.فلسطین.

[J Jahir · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pesar de su crudeza, me ha gustado. Es una biografía impactante por todo lo que cuenta, Es terrible ver el tipo de cultura tan retrasada en cuanto a lo que hacen con las mujeres y cómo se ve como normal., este libro es el testimonio de una mujer que tuvo la oportunidad que muchas no han tenido, y que sigue ocurriendo desgraciadamente. Es fuerte, ya lo acraro, pero viene bien enterarse un poco d estas situaciones. No para cualquiera, en especial si eres persona muy sensible.

[madame Gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quelle lecture! j’ai été incapable de déposer ce roman. parce que j’ai tout d’abord été bouleversée de lire de telles atrocités, parce que j’ai eu si peur souvent pour Souad, parce que j’ai appris des choses horribles et ensuite parce que j’ai tellement voulu tout le meilleur pour elle. et Jacqueline est une vraie bénédiction pour Souad.

ce roman, il est lu en troisième secondaire à l’école où j’enseigne. en débutant ma lecture, je me suis demandé si j’allais le faire lire ou non à mes élèves. j’ai hésité, mais je me rends compte que je me sens prête à leur apprendre à quel point les crimes d’honneur sont encore trop présents dans notre société. ils doivent savoir ce que c’est et ce qu’est un féminicide et cette lecture est si dure, mais remplie d’espoir finalement. et j’ai envie que mes élèves sachent que tout cela existe. et qu’il y a des bonnes personnes dans c’est monde.

🍎 par après, j’ai l’idée de leur demander ce qu’eux auraient envie de dénoncer dans le monde. que ce soit au niveau environnemental ou social ou peu importe, j’ai envie que ce roman ouvre la porte à différents sujets.

bref, je recommande absolument. parce que cette lecture est nécessaire.

[Silviu Kitsune · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mi-a plăcut foarte mult această carte, mai ales felul în care a fost scrisă, sunt unele persoane care consideră că nu este o memorie adevărat și chiar dacă este fictivă sau nu ea este scrisă așa fel încât să te întrebi dacă este adevărată. Ce s-a întâmplat în viața lui Souad te poate întrista însă te și învață unele lucruri. Felul ei de-a lupta m-a fascinat. Dacă este fictivă sau nu această poveste este una foarte frumoasă ce merită citită, povestită și arătată lumii.

[Anca · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Încerc să reflectez şi îmi dau seama că, dacă mi s-ar fi spus că am ochi albaştri, fără a-mi da o oglindă, aş fi crezut toată viaţa că am ochii albaştri. Oglinda reprezintă cultura, educaţia cunoaşterea de sine însuşi şi a altora."

[Ruxandra Ionita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superba carte. Nu ma asteptam sa fie atat de buna si sa transmita atat de bine emotiile, durerea, disperarea, toate sentimentele si incercarile la care a fost supusa aceasta femeie.

[Monika P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Šokiruojanti knyga, wow!

[okyrhoe · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is either a hoax or a badly written memoir, incompletely recalled by the subject of this story, or purposefully altered to protect her identity. Some details just don't add up. Although the dynamics of the rural patriarchal family are spot on and the cruelty of the honor code is indisputable, there is something 'false' here that refuses to be dispelled.

My reactions are mixed. On the one hand I fully understand Souad's fate and the horrors of her experience. On the other hand, I feel that this book oversimplifies the circumstances of her life and her culture.

Any narrative, whether fictional, historical, or autobiographical, must attempt to explain the nature of its theme, even if that theme is cruelty and/or evil. I don't feel particularly enlightened after finishing the book.

Also, I disagree with Jacqueline, that when she is in the Middle East she, as an outsider, must 'respect' the local tradition, even if it is 'bizarre'. What is 'traditional' about Souad's village and family moral code? I have lived in the Middle East and know very well that what goes on in the affluent/urban areas is very different from what goes on in the destitute/rural areas. If a particular belief, or code of conduct was truly 'traditional' to a culture, it would apply throughout the region, regardless of the social, educational, or economic circumstances. From the testimony of my Middle Eastern acquaintances, Palestinian families who belonged to the educated urban class didn't enforce this 'tradition'. So I will have to say that these extreme moral codes are anomalies, rather the norm, as far as the Palestinians, other Middle Easterners (or even rural communities in Greece) are concerned.

To give another example, people say it is 'traditional' for women in Saudi Arabia not to have the right to drive. How can this prohibition be a 'tradition' or a 'cultural matter' when just across the border other Arab societies don't enforce the same restriction. Furthermore, these very same Saudi women are allowed by their families to drive, if they are outside of the country!

It is facetious to say we respect the 'cultural traditions' of a particular country or peoples when it is clearly not a 'tradition' but an oppression masquerading as tradition.

Souad's terrible ordeal is a product of a sexist/patriarchal belief system, but other social systems can be just as cruel and destructive. This can be exemplified by the extermination of individuals in Communist totalitarian regimes. Maybe it was for political reasons, rather than a code of honor, but the motivation & result is the same: Your behavior in some way disrupts the rule of order. You are sent to a gulag, or murdered outright, and any mention of you in the media & in history books is permanently expunged. All in the name of the powers that be, to preserve the status quo. And again, the silent ones are complicit in your fate.

I would like to concur with Souad's children; I feel that 'bearing witness' and 'empowerment' means going back to face your enemy, directly or indirectly, in some form or another. Souad says the most she is comfortable with is bearing witness by narrating her story for this book, rather than traveling to confront her family. It's her choice. I hope that some day her children (all three of them) eventually face their grandparents, aunts & uncles in the village for the sake & honor of their mother.

[Irma (Blebleteka) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Antra knyga, kurią paėmiau šiais metais ir antra knyga apie musulmones moteris. Ši tikra istorija nustebino dar didesniu žiaurumu ir tuo, kaip žmonės ir jų įsitikinimai skirtingose pasaulio pusėse gali skirtis.

Septyniolikmetė Suada kaip išganymo laukia dienos, kai galės ištekėti. Iš tiesų vestuvėms ji jau per sena. Merginos Palestinoje teka maždaug keturiolikos. Bet Suadai nepasisekė - pagal tradicijas ji turi pirma sulaukti kol ištekės vyresnioji sesuo ir tik tada Suados tėvai išrinks ir jai jaunikį. Sesės rankos niekas neprašo ir Suada savo iniciatyva parodo prielankumą kaimynų vaikinui. Tai negirdėta nematyta tame kaimelyje ir jeigu kas sužinotų, Suadą primuštų. Vedybos jai būtų tarsi išsigelbėjimas iš žiaurumu alsuojančių tėvų namų, kur yra normalu mušti savo dukras, surišti jas ir palikti naktį su gyvuliais tvarte. Kur motina gali uždusinti kiekvieną savo ką tik gimusį kūdikį, jeigu tai tik ne berniukas. Ir kur yra normalu pašalinti dukrą, jeigu ji gali užtraukti šeimai įsivaizduojamą gėdą.

Taip ir Suadą su tėvų žinia artimas giminaitis apipila benzinu ir padega. Laimei merginai kažkaip pavyksta išsigelbėti ir papulti į vienos prancūzės, teikiančios humanitarinę pagalbą, globą. O kiek merginų patiria panašius žudymus dėl garbės ir joms ne taip pasiseka?

Sakau vyrui, kad niekada negalvojau, kad esu feministė, bet beskaitydama tokias knygas tikrai ja galėčiau tapti. :) Kai vyrai vertinami kaip dievai, o moterys-žmonos-dukros tarsi šiukšlės, nes "net iš avių ir ožkų daugiau naudos - tos bent duoda vilnos ir pieno", nejučia susimąstai kaip iš tikrųjų pasisekė gimti Lietuvoje ar Europoje.

[❀ Rose ❀]

🔹 Overall feelings:

〰 I’m very aware of the controversy surrounding the credibility of this story. That said, I still felt incredibly connected to the story. I read it in french because that’s the language it was written in and I have to say, that made me feel all the more invested in the novel. I know that this sort of thing still happens in some parts of the world and the thought of something similar to this happening to an actual human being breaks my heart. I found the random stories that she would include here and there to be both extremely fascinating and heart wrenching. Everything was told perfectly and the story progressed smoothly.

〰 However, I have to say: if the story is in fact a fictional work dressed up as a memoir, then I can’t help but feel not only revolted but also disgusted. As an arab woman myself, making up something like this only serves to further validate and encourage all the disturbing stereotypes that already exist about arabs and muslims (this becomes especially apparent when you realize just how much white people are depicted as heroes and saviors while arabs and muslims are painted as the barbaric violent types— to the point where the *only* Palestinian man in the story that was described in a positive light is then said to have studied in Europe; which, of course, is supposed to explain why he’s “civil”).

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Labai stipri knyga.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a harrowing book to read! To think that in this day and age people can act so barbaric and commit unspeakable crimes against loved ones is truly horrendous. I am so stunned at Souad’s story that I don’t feel I could do her justice by writing my own review. What this woman has been through is atrocious, frightful, appalling and extremely sad. I wouldn’t want in any way to shame Souad or make her feel that I said something in my review to hurt her feelings so I will leave you with the synopsis on the back of the book.

“When Souad was seventeen she fell in love. In her West Bank village, as in so many others, sex before marriage is considered a grave dishonour to one’s family and is punishable by death. This was her crime. Her brother-in-law was given the task of meting out her punishment. One morning while Souad was washing the family’s clothes, he poured gasoline over her and set her on fire.

Miraculously, she survived, rescued by women of her village, who put out the flames and took her to a local hospital. Horribly burned over seventy percent of her body and still denounced by her family, Souad was able to receive the care she needed only after the intervention of a European aid worker. Now in permanent exile from her homeland, she has decided to tell her story and reveal the barbarity of a practice that continues to this day.

BURNED ALIVE is the first true account ever published by a victim of an “honor crime.” Souad’s inspiring testimony is a shocking, moving, and harrowing story of cruelty and incomparable courage...and an inspiring call to action to end a heinous tradition.”

I give Souad a standing ovation for having the strength and courage to tell her story. To stand up and be counted both as a woman and a human being and to be immensely proud of who she is and what she has accomplished...my heart and my prayers will be with you always, Souad!!

[Loveliest Evaris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Does this ever happen to you?

You're in a lull in time, bored, just thinking. And then your brain for no other reason than to be weird shoots a random memory or thought in your head. These little snippets are usually things like book or movie synopses.

It always happens to me. As an afterthought I was thinking about a book I read a few years ago about a young girl in the Middle East who was doused in kerosene and set on fire to protect her family's "honor".

So the day I am writing this, I was looking through my school library shelves and I found this! As soon as I saw the spine I was like, "I FOUND YOU!"

...

Okay onto the story.

This was a true account of the harsh, cruel, and totally UNFAIR treatment of women in certain societies. This takes place in Palestine, apparently. I always had the idea it was in a remote village in Afghanistan or something.. Does that make me ignorant? I don't care if it does.

Women in the Middle East like in Palestine--and quite a few cultures in Africa-- are considered less than a second class citizen. The modesty idea is taken to the extreme; women must work, work, work, work, work! "Don't take your eyes off the ground, you whore!" "Stop looking at that dude, you skank!" "Why can't you milk 300 goats in 20 minutes, you looseless wench?!" Basically that is the whole idea.

...

EDIT:

I've been seeing reviews that this book is apparently not a real memoir. Despite that revelation, I will maintain my score because I still thoroughly enjoyed it. Just because this may be fake does not mean that women are still not treated in this way and that honor killings aren't an issue; they still are.

[Adina]

„Sunt fată, iar o fată trebuie să meargă repede, cu capul aplecat, privind în pământ, ca şi cum şi-ar număra paşii. Privirea ei nu trebuie să se ridice, nici să rătăcească în dreapta sau în stânga drumului, căci dacă ar da ochi în ochi cu un bărbat, tot satul ar considera-o sharmuta.
Dacă o vecină deja căsătorită, o bătrână sau oricine altcineva ar vedea-o singură pe uliță, neînsoțită de mama ei sau de o soră mai mare, fără oi, fără snopi de fân sau saci cu smochine, tot sharmuta ar numi-o.
O fată trebuie să fie măritată pentru a privi drept în fața ei, pentru a merge la prăvălia negustorului, pentru a se putea epila și pentru a purta bijuterii."

Cartea asta este... Doamne, apără şi fereşte! Nici nu pot să cred că există aşa ceva!
„Arsă de vie” este povestea de supravieţuire, moarte şi renaştere a lui Souad, narată chiar de ea. Tânăra fiind născută într-un cătun din Cisiordania, acolo unde caprele, oile si vacile sunt mai preţioase decât o femeie:
“– O vacă dă lapte și viței. Ce facem cu laptele și vițeii? Îi vindem. Aduci banii acasă, ceea ce înseamnă că vaca face servicii familiei. Dar o fată? Ce serviciu face ea familiei? Nimic. Oile... ce aduc ele pentru casă? Lână. Vinzi lâna și aduci bani acasă. Mielul crește, face alți miei, iar din lapte faci brânză, o vinzi, aduci bani acasă. O vacă sau o oaie e mai de preţ decât o fată...”
Acolo unde fetele și femeile pot fi ucise, in numele onoarei, fără impedimente, de bărbaţii consideraţi “eroi” pentru că salvează onoarea familiei, satului, întregii comunități.

Aici fiecare naştere a unei fete era un doliu în familie, iar pentru cea născută este un blestem, deoarece ai dreptul doar la muncă și rugăciune, iar bătăile crunte şi umilinţele primite din partea bărbaților familiei sunt la ordinea zilei. Singurul vis de libertate este căsătoria sau cum e să cazi din lac în puţ, aceasta însemnând ceva de genul: ,,scapi de dracu şi dai de tac-su."
,,Dacă tatăl tău îţi spune: ,,Rămâi în colţul ăsta toată viaţa", vei rămâne în acel colţ toată viaţa. Dacă tatăl tău îţi pune o măslină într-o farfurie şi îţi spune: ,,Astăzi mănânci doar atât", doar atât mănânci. Este foarte dificil să ieşi din pielea asta de sclavă supusă, pentru că te naşti cu ea dacă eşti fată, şi, pe tot parcursul copilăriei noastre, modul acesta de a nu exista, de a asculta de bărbat şi de legea lui, e întreţinut în permanenţă de tată, de mamă, de frate, iar singura scăpare, care e măritişul, îl perpetuează pe soţ. "

În satul în care locuia, tradiția este sfântă. Astfel, dacă o fată nu este căsătorită până la vârsta de paisprezece ani, satul începe să râdă de ea. Aşadar, Souad vrea să se mărite, să scape de ruşine dar şi de familia care o bate, jignește și umilește (deși e ceva normal, bineînțeles! ), dar nu poate, întrucât trebuie să aștepte până când sora ei mai mare va fi pețită. Totuși, atunci când Suad e pețită înaintea surorii ei, din cauza situaţiei disperate în care se află dar şi din teama de a nu pierde unica şansă de salvare, se dăruiește tânărului rămânând însărcinată, după care, acesta ca un laş fuge din sat, iar pentru acest fapt, ea devine oaia neagră a familiei sale. Trebuie să moară pentru că asta e tradiția. O tradiție bolnavă, in care, dacă o familie are prea multe fete, 3-4 sunt suficiente pentru îngrijirea gospodăriei, animalelor și câmpului, celelalte sunt asfixiate la naştere cu o piele de oaie.
,,E ciudat să te gândeşti că ne dădeam atât de mult silinţa să ajutăm oile să fete, în vreme ce mama mea îşi înăbuşea copiii. Pe atunci nu mă gândeam deloc la asta. Era un obicei care trebuia admis. Astăzi, când fac să mi se perinde prin minte aceste imagini, mă revolt."
Cel delegat pentru a comite fapta este chiar cumnatul protagonistei, care îi toarnă benzină pe cap și îi dă foc.

O poveste despre cum poți să lași în urmă un trecut care te-a omorât și să iei în brațe un viitor care a făcut din tine alt om.
Cartea prezintă multe detalii si lucruri de neimaginat şi pe tot parcursul lecturii am avut impresia că această poveste nu este reală, că aceste lucruri nu s-au întâmplat cu adevărat. Strigător la cer dacă există aşa ceva! Plus că pe alocuri unele idei nu s-au legat fiind în contradictoriu sau, nu a dat lungul cu latul, cum am spune noi ardelenii. 🙈 Din aceste motive, nici nu am ştiut cum să o evaluez.

“Se spune că iubirea este singura forţă care transcede tot. Dar există părţi ale lumii unde iubirea nu este cunoscută, unde cutumele societăţii zdrobesc orice sentiment de iubire, inclusiv cea a părinţilor.”

[Anca Zaharia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arsă de vie este reminder-ul perfect că extremismul ucide: dacă nu e vorba de impunerea forțată a unor principii pe care mulți le asociază cu islamul, atunci se aplică la fel de bine și la lumea occidentală. Ajunsă în Europa, psihicul lui Souad are multe de îndurat din cauza standardelor pe care le observă în jur și, având în vedere nenorocirea care a scos-o din Cisiordania, la care nu se mai poate ridica. Aderarea extremă la principiile și standardele lumii vestice poate ucide la fel. Poate uităm asta.

Am rămas și cu câteva nelămuriri, nu știu dacă le-aș spune chiar reproșuri, din cauza unor neconcordanțe: la un moment dat, Souad spune că nu a văzut niciodată poliție în copilărie, că nu se întâmpla ceva și autoritățile veneau, că noțiunea de poliție a priceput-o văzând Europa, mai târziu, dar doar câteva pagini mai încolo relatează despre moartea unei fete, urmată de sosirea poliției și trimiterea la închisoare a șoferului care o călcase cu roata pe cap.

Recenzia completă aici: https://bit.ly/2nb8s56

[Lorena · Rating 5 out of 5]

O carte tulburatoare la care nu poti ramane indiferent.
Modul deloc voalat in care este expusa povestea nu are cum sa nu te aduca in pielea personajului. Pot parea foarte simple istorisirile femeilor ce au dus o viata cumplita si de multe ori te fac sa spui "eu nu stateam/eu faceam altfel/eu mi-as fi infruntat situatia", asta pana cand intelegi mare parte a motivelor care au dus la anumite decizii si la acceptarea situatiei in care se afla femeile in cauza.
Aceasta carte te face sa intelegi culturile total diferite si impactul pe cate acestea le au asupra vietii cotidiene.