He Said, She Said: Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court

by Dr Charlotte Proudman

In the family court, traumatised women seek safety and justice, often to find only disdain and cruel insensitivity. Survivors of sexual, physical and emotional violence are called liars because they lack evidence for their claims, and deemed unreliable witnesses compared to the men who abused them. They are forced to recall the worst moments of their lives in excruciating detail, sometimes face-to-face with their violent ex, and always confronted with a lawyer who will do anything to destroy their story.

Barrister Charlotte Proudman has represented countless women in cases spanning rape, domestic abuse, child abduction, forced marriage and female genital mutilation. She has seen first-hand how the family court deepens the trauma of vulnerable women, staking their futures on the biases of individual judges and forcing them to endure the torture of a judicial process that stretches over months and sometimes years. Drawing on shocking real-life cases, in He Said, She Said Charlotte lays bare the extent of misogyny and victim-blaming that infects our justice the court's impulse to believe a man at all costs and to discredit a woman for any reason.

301 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 1, 2025

Reviews

[Jennifer Bridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

In *He Said, She Said*, barrister Charlotte Proudman delivers a searing indictment of the family court system, exposing its entrenched misogyny and the harrowing toll it exacts on women seeking justice. With the precision of a seasoned advocate and the urgency of a reformer, Proudman draws on her extensive experience representing survivors of rape, domestic abuse, child abduction, forced marriage, and female genital mutilation. What emerges is a chilling portrait of a judicial process that often deepens the trauma of vulnerable women, subjecting them to disdain, disbelief, and a gruelling ordeal that can stretch across years.

The book’s strength lies in its unflinching use of real-life cases, which Proudman handles with sensitivity and rigour. These stories lay bare the court’s systemic biases: women are routinely dismissed as liars for lacking concrete evidence or dismissed as unreliable witnesses, their credibility undermined in favour of the men who abused them. Forced to recount their worst moments in excruciating detail—sometimes in the presence of their abuser—survivors face barristers intent on dismantling their testimony. Proudman’s prose is both measured and impassioned, capturing the cruelty of a system that stakes women’s futures on the whims of individual judges, whose prejudices can shape life-altering outcomes.

This is not a dispassionate legal analysis but a call to arms, grounded in the lived realities of those the system fails. Proudman’s critique is sharpest when dissecting the court’s impulse to believe men at all costs, a tendency she argues is rooted in a broader culture of victim-blaming. Yet the book avoids despair, offering glimmers of hope through Proudman’s own tireless advocacy and her proposals for reform.

At times, the sheer weight of the cases risks overwhelming the reader, and some may wish for deeper exploration of systemic fixes. Nonetheless, *He Said, She Said* is a vital, enraging read—an urgent demand for a family court system that prioritises safety and justice over patriarchal inertia.

[janet vyvyan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admire Dr Charlotte for the dedication she shows to changing the injustices we encounter as women within the law. This book highlighted many instances with which I was abhorred. Some of the content is very technical and I found it difficult to keep reading it but it is definitely worth persevering when you get to the end. Thank goodness for people like Dr Charlotte.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written, from a “feminist “ perspective. The author’s anger against the biases in the family court system comes across clearly. Change obviously needs to happen more quickly to help protect all the families the system lets down.

[Joanne Clifford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read! Can be triggering but she shows the reality of the Family Court and those who have to navigate the predominant patriarchy