A Truly Awful Execution of a Great Premise...
After being highly disappointed with Hauser's "The Odd Couple" I wanted to read another offering and give her a chance to redeem herself. I figured a "bestselling" author with 80+ titles under her belt could get one wrong but must be doing something right overall... right?
WRONG.
Straight (ish) small town hottie/football star Dylan is tired of being propositioned by creeps all day as he delivers pizzas all over LA and accidentally lands himself a job doing gay porn. This is a brilliant set up that is utterly ruined by some completely amateur hour decisions at just about every possible turn. Dylan comes to terms with the fact he likes dudes with absolutely NO stress or drama over it whatsoever, does his first porn shoot, falls in love with/pursues his older co-star (who's at the end of his own career), wins the total trust and love of "Mr. Emotionally Unavailable" and gives up his porn career to move in with his man, ALL WITHIN THE SPAN OF 72 HOURS.
I literally couldn't decide which initial reaction I was having was stronger; humor at the the sheer absurdity of what I was reading or anger at the blatant insult to my intelligence. Turns out I was more angered than amused and this is why; Anyone that has written 80+ novels should have a better idea about what makes characters interesting and what makes good drama.
Regardless of the genre one is writing in, the rules do not change. Characters MUST be fully developed. The arc from being a Friday night lights, cheerleader banging quarterback to being willing to accept cash to take a dick up your butt is in itself a fascinating journey worth reading (even with no romance element introduced) but does Hauser take the time to show us what that journey would really be like? Of course not. Hausers' QB Dylan had no real feelings to begin with, never experienced love with the few girls he's dated and is basically living like a monk despite being the hottest guy anyone in LA (including everyone at the porn company he signs up with) has ever seen.
It wasn’t the first time men at the gym checked him out. It was Los Angeles, not Ames, Iowa, after all. Dylan was shy to every glance, male or female. He hated to admit how many nights he’d jacked off. Half of him wanted to just find a girlfriend and play, but he kept feeling a sense of not being a permanent resident here. What was the point in getting involved if he ended up going back home to Iowa?
Really??? What's more sexy? A hot guy getting laid all over LA or a monk? What's more interesting? A guy with a girlfriend/fiancee/wife who ends up in gay porn and THEN falls is love with his co-star and now has to choose between the two or a guy with no conflicts? Not ONE single moment of conflict, self doubt or angst over any of the discoveries Dylan makes ever occurs making his journey not just uninteresting, but utterly ridiculous. Every bit as silly (if not more so) is established porn star Sean's transformation from completely emotionally detached porn stud to "I can't get hard for any guy but Dylan now and even though we've only had sex one time on camera I suddenly can't bear the thought of him having sex with anyone else." all within the same 72 hours.
It's bad enough that Hauser utterly ignores every possible opportunity to fully explore the obvious scenarios (coming to terms with bisexuality, balancing working in porn while dating a porn star, the dark side and pitfalls of the porn industry, etc...) in favor of a string of purely juvenile options but she doesn't even bother to give her shallow premise the dignity of allowing it to develop at a pace that is at least believable making the HEA ending (provided by a lovely but wasted character in the form of a Norma Desmond-ish former Hollywood star Dylan befriends while delivering her a pizza) even more absurd than it already is.
I downloaded and had planned to review Hausers' "Cowboy Blues" next but there's no way in HELL I'm wasting my time on it or any other of her offerings in the near (or distant) future.