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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman #4

The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels

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How do you say “no” to a mob boss?

When bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is asked by her mob boss employer to kill a cop, she wants to say no.

When her sexy murder mentor, Patrick Mulligan tells her the cop in question is a guy she once dated, she REALLY wants to refuse.

But when her former date, Paul Kowalski tries to kill her, she changes her tune to “Hell, yes!”

Maggie and Patrick grow closer as they scramble to figure out what it is that Kowalski is looking for and what it has to do with her prison escapee father.

​Maggie’s search is hampered by the presence of US Marshals hunting her father and her crazier-than-usual family.

​Along with her snarky talking lizard, grammatically-challenged Doberman, and a pissy cat, she races to solve the mystery and protect her family. But nothing in Maggie’s life ever goes as planned….

190 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 26, 2013

160 people are currently reading
452 people want to read

About the author

J.B. Lynn

78 books400 followers
Author of the series:

Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Psychic Consignment Mysteries

Cursed Chick Club

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5 stars
793 (56%)
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435 (30%)
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156 (11%)
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16 (1%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
Profile Image for Werner.
Author 4 books726 followers
February 4, 2018
Note: I don't recommend that readers read the Goodreads description for this book before reading the book itself. It's not only somewhat inaccurate, but gives away more information about the plot than I consider appropriate. If you want to know the basic premise of the series, my advice would be to read the description of the series opener, Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman. Or you could read my review of the third installment (which was actually my introduction to the series) here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... ; I explain it there, so that will save repetition here, and many of my comments about the earlier story are completely relevant here as well.

In this installment, we begin with Maggie being pressured by the Delvecchio brothers to accept a contract on police officer Paul Kowalski, a former dating partner from the first book. It turns out that Patrick, our heroine's mentor in the assassination trade, isn't the only cop who moonlights in killing for hire --but while Maggie and Patrick do have ethical "standards," Kowalski's got none at all. (The Delvecchio's interest in his death, though, isn't based on his lack of morality; it's a self-protective move, since they're believed to be his current targets.) But while Maggie's pondering this "request," it becomes clear that there's a mystery afoot involving her estranged father, who when the series began was already in prison. Archie Lee's a small time thief and con man who was convicted of the killing of a teller during a bank robbery (though he's steadfastly denied being the shooter). Now, it's beginning to seem that there may have been more to this robbery than initially met the eye. And Paul Kowalski is definitely involved.

While I gave the earlier story four stars, I couldn't in good conscience be that generous for this novel. The mystery elements aren't crafted very well. I'm having to phrase things cautiously to avoid spoilers, but Maggie arrives at her insights about the clues to something by a process that's too much of a stretch to suspend disbelief. (And one clue was supposedly supplied by her dad --but he actually didn't say it here, though perhaps he did in an earlier book. I still haven't read the first two books; reading this one out of order was something of a fluke.) Also, one closeted bad guy acts on (and Maggie expects him to act on) knowledge that he couldn't logically possess at that time. Maggie benefits, BIG TIME, from a totally fortuitous coincidence in the denouement. I've said before that I don't take her supposed ability to talk to animals seriously; I interpret those "conversations" as hallucinations that serve her as a harmless coping mechanism. That said, while mammals can form emotional bonds with people that make them protective, reptiles do not; and while animals can seemingly have a "sixth sense" for danger and much more perceptive physical senses than we do, that allow them to follow and track people over considerable distances, IMO Maggie's four-legged friends pull off one feat that strains credibility a bit too much. Finally, though the issue in this book is fully resolved, it ends with a cliffhanger that obviously segues into the next book. :-( (And the next book, like all those after the first two, exists only in an e-version; I don't buy e-books, and got this one only because I had an Amazon credit earmarked for them. J. B., PUBLISH THESE IN PAPER FORMAT!)

Nonetheless, I still liked the book as harmless fun. It's fast paced, sparing with bad language (and has no sex as such --though Maggie and Patrick's loving relationship is moving in that direction) and often humorous. And it's also got its serious side, with a clear-cut good vs. evil conflict (and as Maggie says, "I'd like to see the good guys win this one!") and a look at the complex dynamics of a dysfunctional, but not unloving, family. (In this installment, we see some growth in more than one of Maggie's relationships, and some revisions in her estimations of people, which I give her credit for being able to make.) It remains something of a guilty pleasure; after all, respectable librarians who work for a Southern Baptist college aren't supposed to like, and root for, a semi-professional assassin (even if she only works at that trade occasionally, and has mitigating circumstances). But I don't feel too guilty, since Maggie's about the nicest, and kindest hearted, hired killer you're ever likely to meet. As Patrick wryly puts it, in that line of work Rule #1 is "Don't get caught;" but if she ever were to be caught, I wouldn't mind testifying as a character witness for the defense. :-) (And I'm sure a legion of her fans feel the same way!)
Profile Image for Holli.
11 reviews
May 13, 2015
finished this entire series in less than a week. Now waiting patiently for the next book!
Profile Image for Brenda.
1,540 reviews
April 16, 2020
The cast of characters in this series takes a road map to sort out the relationships but it is worth the effort.

This "off the wall" series is quick to read. The plot has so many twists and turns you have to keep up!

Keeping her mob boss happy between hospital visits to her niece Katie and her day job as an insurance claim processor has Maggie Lee longing for a place to romance her cop/hitman Patrick Mulligan.

When Maggie's dad escapes prison her family are put at risk while mobsters hunt for the loot from the bank robbery he participated in.

Maggie's animals come to her rescue yet again.
Profile Image for Cher.
313 reviews13 followers
June 29, 2017
M problem with this book, is it's too damn short!
Profile Image for Amy R.
592 reviews5 followers
June 6, 2013
I simply love the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series. My friend Misty Evans mentioned them to me and after I read the first one I just couldn't wait for the next ones to come out. In the fourth story of the series, we find Maggie in yet another pickle of a situation. She is asked (well, demanded really) to kill someone that she actually knows personally. She isn't sure about it at first but then quickly changes her mind after an altercation with him. This time around though instead of chasing after him she is running from him with US Marshals and a certain Detective (that we all know and love) guarding her. On top of that her father has escaped from prison which has complicated her life tremendously. Luckily she has family and friends that want to help her in their own strange way.

For those that have read the other books you know how fun it is when Maggie communicates with her animals Doomsday (DeeDee), and Godzilla (God). Another animal is added to the mix - a cat named Piss. Yes, Piss. You will have to read the story to know why. We also get to see a lot more of my favorite, Patrick. JB does a frustratingly good job of building Maggie and Patrick's relationship throughout the series because it fits each of their personalities well and doesn't take away from the overall story. I really want Maggie and Patrick to kick it up a notch and for him to get rid of that wife of his.

I would love to see JB's books made into a movie. The scenes are very clear in my mind thanks to her descriptions and would be great fun to watch on the big screen. The dialogue in The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels is by far the best part of the story. Because the characters are all so well written and have their own wacky personalities you get the best conversations. This is what has me laughing out loud all the time. In addition to the humor in this series, I really like that no matter the disagreements Maggie's family has with one another, in the end they are always there for each other. There are some serious parts in the book and the support from her family just makes it all better. I almost feel like I worry less while reading the story when I know her family is behind her.

The books in the Confessions series just keep getting better and better. JB ends the story with quite an explosive scene and of course I look forward to the next book to find out what happens. If you are looking for a light romantic suspense read that is full of humor and warms your heart, I highly recommend you try The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels!
Profile Image for Gayle.
188 reviews2 followers
July 24, 2016
The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels is another fun and fabulous installment in the series of Neurotic Hitwoman books by J.B. Lynn. Maggie, my favorite hitwoman, manages to stay alive and one step ahead of trouble with the help of her odd family, eccentric friends and a menagerie of pets. Great series, so make sure you start at the beginning, with Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
Profile Image for Lisa.
923 reviews26 followers
May 18, 2013
I have to tell you i don't know where you can get this much romantic suspense mixed with killers, talking animals and comedy. This series is such a mix of all these things and more it's fun to see how author JB Lynn pulls it off. This is book 4 in the series and i am always drawn into the book pretty fast. Maggie is a hitwoman for hire. She came by it pretty much by accident and now she's kind of stuck with it. In this book she's supposed to kill Paul Kowalski a cop she once dated. She's kind of on the fence about it until he tries to kill her.That certainly changes her tune. This book gets more into her family relationships. She finds out more about her sister who was missing for years and her relationship with Patrick grows. Sigh Patrick. Somehow i need that whole thing to work out eventually. JB Lynn gives you just enough story to get you entangled in Maggie's life and you want to find out what happens next. She ends on a bit of a cliff hanger and a shock. I literally said out loud OMG NOOOO! laughed and then groaned. To highlight some of the funnier lines involving the talking lizard, God or Godzilla as he is formally known. I'll post some below. So much story packed into this book. Sucks you right into the Maggie vortex!

"Ow!" a voice that sounded suspiciously like a Englishman with a stick up his butt, exclaimed. ( God was hiding in a box he was not supposed to be in)

I gave him my best suspicious glare, but since lizards don't blink, I was doomed to lose that staring contest. ( yeah a little hard to win that one)
Profile Image for Laura.
460 reviews53 followers
July 21, 2019
Once again we delve into Maggie Lee's crazy life. Her family is driving her up the wall as usual with their good intentions. The mob boss has asked her to do another hit. This time it's not only someone she knows, but someone she went on a date with. Her partner in crime, Patrick, assures her that the target is bad news. Before she can accept the contract chaos ensues and Paul Kowalski proves he is indeed a bad man. Patrick, Maggie, Dee Dee the dog, Godzilla the lizard, and a pissy cat must work together to save the day. It's a good thing Maggie can talk to the animals.

I love the characters in this series. They are quirky and fun for the most part. And it's nice watching Patrick and Maggie continue to grow closer.

The book is well paced. There is a little bit of mystery to go with the action. And of course there is plenty of action.

Overall, I like this book. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. So far I am enjoying the series. If you like a mystery with plenty of action and quirky characters, then this would be a good book for you.
Profile Image for Amanda.
220 reviews4 followers
May 12, 2014
Why does the series go straight from book 2.5 to 4?


This is the book that put me off the series. The series started with a dramatic undertone, and you could understand why Maggie would be so desperate for money that she would become a hitwoman.


But now the series has turned more 'comedic' in tone, Maggie is now a airhead who shouldn't survive 5 minutes in her world, and the author is trying to force Maggie's already married hit man/mentor on me as being an ideal romantic interest, by making him out to be bullied and badly treated by his wife.

It spoils the book because all I can think is that maybe Patrick's wife is bitchy because her husband is shoving it in places he shouldn't. It doesn't matter what was happening in the story at the time - that sentence kept on going round my head.
1 review
July 16, 2018
Best one of series so far

Nice job of interweaving all the plot/narrative threads (from earlier books) to satisfying conclusion. Chemistry and tenderness between Patrick & Maggie is deliciously fun. And the animals' personalities-- and evolving friendships--are funny and delightful.
Profile Image for Sandra.
3,353 reviews12 followers
July 4, 2021
Quick fun read about reluctant hitwoman Maggie Lee who has to contend with crazy aunts, a criminal father broken out of prison, federal agents after her dad, talking pets and a hit from her mob boss on Maggie' ex - a dirty cop who is stalking her with ill intent.
Profile Image for  Spanxmcb (Yovanka)  .
337 reviews
July 12, 2013
This series officially has a special place in my heart. Loved this one. Maggie's misadventures just keep getting better and better!
3 reviews
April 6, 2020
Really makes me forget I’m quarantined

The book is entertaining and keeps you guessing. Gave me a good laugh which was needed with being quarantined for over a month
407 reviews1 follower
November 12, 2021
The usual zany mix of murder, mayhem and ta liking animals
Profile Image for Teena in Toronto.
2,467 reviews79 followers
March 17, 2025
When Maggie was recently in a car accident, her sister and brother-in-law were killed and Katie, her three-year-old niece and goddaughter, was left in a coma. Maggie works in the call centre of an insurance company and doesn't have the kind of money it takes to keep Katie in the high end hospital she needs to be in. To supplement her income, she has become a reluctant hit woman for a mob boss. This time he wants her to kill a cop. Maggie had gone out with this cop a couple times and even though she had gotten bad vibes from him, she is reluctant to kill him because he is a cop. In the meantime, her father, who was in prison for robbing a bank and murdering a teller, has escaped and U.S. Marshals suspect Maggie knows where he is.

This is the fourth in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series (#48 is coming our next month) and I liked it. It can be read as a stand alone but you should read the first one as there are many references in this one that will make more sense and you'll have the background. I had my doubts about this series when I discovered Maggie can now carry on conversations with Godzilla aka God, Katie's tiny lizard, who Maggie takes care of until Katie recovers, and DeeDee, a dog she took in when she killed her owner. It sounds dumb but they are amusing and good friends and confidents to Maggie.

It's written in first person perspective in Maggie's voice and was humourous at times ... she hates her job (her boss keeps hitting on her and smells like pepperoni) but has to keep it to appear "normal". Though I look forward to reading the others in the series, I wasn't crazy about the ending as it's a cliffhanger for the next book (I hate when authors end books this way to make you buy the next one).

Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2025/03...
Profile Image for Julie Howard.
Author 2 books31 followers
April 4, 2024
I downloaded this book after listening to a podcast interview with the author because it sounded interesting. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting and could never have guessed. The story is so very unusual and is about a woman who accidental becomes a hitwoman and can talk to animals. Okay? sounds weird (and that's before I get to her family) but somehow it works and I actually enjoyed the interaction between the animals the most, they are definitely the star of the book. I wouldn't call it a mystery per say as you pretty much know who the bad guys are (although the author does try to include a few surprises) , it more her reacting to the situation she finds herself in and a little bit of a treasure hunt. This is book four and coming into the series now does mean I have missed a lot of family drama and history and while it was easy to follow along, I think I might have to go back to the beginning to get the full picture.
A rogue cop tries to killer Maggie, the same day she is given orders to kill him from a mob boss and her dad escapes from prison. With marshals camped out at her aunts b&b is it really the best time to move in? Will moving in keep them safe from the cop who seems to be looking for more than just her father or will it bring him closer to there doorstep. Joined by her hitman mentor, her brave dog, a grumpy cat and a chatter box lizard Maggie will have to figure out what they are all after if she hopes to keep everybody safe.
2,874 reviews11 followers
August 3, 2024
Maggie Lee is a confusing, professional hitwoman from a family of lunatics. Her boss, a moss boss, wants the cop, Paul Kowalski, killed whom she once dated. Of course, he's dirty. Her sexy mentor, Patrick Mulligan, is another such cop. On top of that, her father escapes from prison with the U.S. Marshals on the hunt. Oh, and she can converse with animals.

This Mystery Romance is excellent. While this is a serious topic, the story is light reading (even when it gets deadly). The pets (a dog and a lizard) are amusing. The family is chaotic. The mentor exudes sexual energy. The main character is frequently weak in her knees. Nonetheless, she concludes the case for the benefit of her mob boss, the U.S. Government, and her family.

Easy-to-read. Entertaining. Haunting. Romantic. Scary. Tragic. Unpredictable. Whimsical. Wonderful characters.
Profile Image for Jenna Lankan.
Author 3 books
June 24, 2024
Exciting and fast paced

Very enjoyable read. Love the FMC Maggie. The pace was very fast not a breath to be had, I could practically feel how exhausted the characters would be. There were two hot scenes but no 'sealing the deal', but still very sexy.
This is the first one I read, but the story still made sense. Since it was so fun, I'll look into more of them. Great vacation read.
Profile Image for Kimberly Gordon-Bercich.
1,865 reviews6 followers
July 24, 2022
Riddle Me This

Maggie's dad was the Riddler! Okay, no Bat Man cameos in this book. I doubt DC would share the rights. But Maggie took all the clues to the riddle her dad left and solved the puzzle. Here is my question, who got credit for Paul?
4,419 reviews37 followers
January 15, 2023
Bang bang my people shoot me down.

A chaotic time overtakes maggie the hit woman. Jail breaks , assassination attempts, A new target and a new pet. Plenty of action, no obvious plot holes.
104 reviews
March 8, 2024
Neurotic

Neurotic Hit woman Is Truly the best way to describe Heroin.. The only reason I gave it a 4 star instead of a 5 star is I intensely disliked That are not stand alone. It was a truly delightful read Even know The heroin erotic Is an understatement.
Profile Image for Judi Cullina.
6 reviews
June 30, 2022
Hit woman is a hit!

These books are a hoot. A good story, great characters and lots of laughs. Each is original and lots of fun.
3 reviews
June 16, 2023
I Love This Series!

I love this series. A kick *ss woman who can talk to animals! What more could you ask for a summer read?
Profile Image for Maria.
654 reviews15 followers
November 6, 2023
Another great story that left me wanting more!
Profile Image for Mai.
2,909 reviews6 followers
March 27, 2024
Very interesting. I enjoyed it more than I expected. Rather different as well.
293 reviews7 followers
September 12, 2024
ok, ok, I am an official fan of Maggie and the animal show. Whimsical yes, imaginative yes, but a fun read with plenty of action. Oh and yes on to the next one........
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews

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