How to Fall Out of Love

by Debora Phillips, Bob Judd

You can’t stop thinking about him or her. Everybody tells you to stop: “He’s gone.” “She doesn’t love you.” “Get over it.” But no matter how hard you try to stop, you can’t.

Until now.

Millions have gotten over a lost love thanks to the book that defined the field. Now renewed and revised with new techniques for a new generation, Dr. Debora Phillips’ classic is finally available for heartbroken people who are ready to get on with their lives.

How to Fall Out of Love is based on behavior therapy, with all its virtues: brevity, action, and a systematic, step-by-step program to reach specific goals. Dr. Phillips delivers a tried and true, amazingly easy-to-follow therapeutic guide to help you:
•stop obsessive thinking about him or her
•take him or her off their pedestal
•overcome jealousy
•rebuild your inner strength and confidence
•handle Internet dating
•get on with a new love and a new life

How to Fall Out of Love demonstrates one of the great strengths of behavior therapy—dealing with large, complex emotional difficulties in manageable component parts. And its clarity, warmth, and understanding make the techniques of behavior therapy accessible and useful.

With over 30 years of using these method, Dr. Phillips has seen over and over how her techniques work in only a few weeks, and how her patients free themselves from their love-obsessions.

Rid yourself of that debilitating, dead-end relationship that is ruining your life. Move forward to the love you deserve—because you can’t fall in love again… if you haven’t fallen out of love first.

Genres: Self Help, Relationships, Nonfiction, Psychology

154 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 13, 2013

Reviews

[yara ❦ · Rating 4 out of 5]

real lovergirls have this on their shelf for 2 years procrastinating how to get rid of their crush (me im lovergirls)

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is going through a tough/toxic relationship, or going through separation or divorce. Even if you aren't in a relationship, it helps with understanding that loving yourself first, before you ever get into a relationship, is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

[BlaBlaBla albalbalb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sadly I needed it. I rarely fall in love: indeed, looking back, only twice was I truly in love.
One time I realized it after everything was over, this time it was more platonic.

I’m not so sure how to describe her - a smart, cheeky, and passionate lawyer are the words that come to mind.

They say one is lucky to trice fall in love.
I hope not, yet I realize that each time I fall in love that fervor I had felt the time before slowly dulls.
I’ve had quite a few relationships, but I fear that one day I won’t feel that sharp jolt of emotions.

This book was great.

[Abhilash Chandrashekar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life saver

This book really helps fall out of love. It will potentially save you months of time, maybe even your life. Recommend this to everyone struggling to continue with their lives after losing their love.

[Octavio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had red this book 30 years ago

The author teaches you how to let go of a former lover that no longer loves you in return.

Learn how to stop loving without wasting months of your life suffering.

[Dylan Bean · Rating 3 out of 5]

Snap

[Adrienne · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is a funny little book. the people in it and their interests are very '70s, and some of the examples of the recommended techniques sound silly - telling yourself aloud to STOP when you catch yourself thinking of someone, picturing a person in a repulsive manner (i really don't want to give the imagery on that one). the thing is though, i can really picture these things working, and many psychological theories are cited to back them up.

i can't say whether i'm a lab rat for whether they do, b/c fortunately by the time i found this book, i didn't really need it, and to be honest, by the time one realizes they should pick up this book, perhaps they're done too. i read it anyway though out of curiosity about how 185 pages, as opposed to an article in, say, redbook, could be devoted to this topic. i might hang onto it just in case i need it down the road.

it does suggest some worthwhile exercises in mental self-exploration, and make some good points: "no matter how clearly you see that a particular emotional behavior is unhelpful to you, rational insight alone will not equip you to behave in a different fashion."

[Gebo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most helpful self-help books I've ever read. Though I began reading it as research for my life coaching beforehand, it was very helpful for me after my last breakup.

The book is really straightforward, and offers information only to explain the processes/activities it lists at the end of the chapter. If you're brokenhearted and you follow the book through and try each exercise, you'll see that your life drastically improves.

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

great book for when are hurt emotionally. but also serves as an reminder that relationships are fragile. great read. and tons of directly practically applicable exercises to get out of vulnerable state and live your own life

[Sarah]

My mother has now twice reminded me I read this when I was 14 or 15. So here it is on my 'read' list! I do remember it advised the lovelorn to put a rubber band around their wrist and snap it whenever the object of unrequited affection came to mind. I think I tried that.

[Miss Adventures In The Dating World™ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book actually helped me when I separated from my daughter's dad.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alas, I'm still in love. It did give me a good image for ridicule, though.

[Max Mendoza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have tried a lot of books, seminars and other stuff but here is just what I wanted. Quick advice and proven techniques to get rid of your ghost from the past.I really recommend this book.

[Annie Feng · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical psychology, it's good, and honestly it works. A little bleak in writing, but it is very practical.

[Ibyang · Rating 3 out of 5]

so far... 3 out of 5 :-)

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's quirky and unorthodox and that's not a bad thing. It's written by a doctor (?) that tells you to silently ridicule your ex, i.e. imagine them in a foolish way, take a flaw and accentuate it. Although I don't know if it will help me fall out of love overnight, it is something I've overlooked doing to try and get over "him", another thing I've overlooked, among other things, like repulsion, and yes, I'm that bad, I need to use repulsion.

It's well worth reading. It's not all heartfelt and mushy but every other chapter is about you and every other chapter is about getting rid of thoughts of "him / her". If you're having obsessive thoughts, etc, it can't hurt to read and it may or may not fix your situation but it definitely can help.