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I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World
Start building bridges instead of barriers! This essential guide offers a simple 5-part framework that will help you have honest and enlightening conversations despite deep and fundamental disagreements.
Divisions are on the rise around the world, and 2024 may well be a peak year. We’re losing the ability to disagree without demonizing. There is a deep need for this practical and accessible guide to having challenging conversations in any situation, from the workplace to the classroom to the dinner table.
It’s not about saying the right words at the right time but something vastly deeper. In this book, you’ll discover the 5 pillars of respectfully disagreeing:
Challenge your perspective
Be the student
Cultivate your curiosity
Seek the gray
Agree to respect
But this is not a weighty tome. Each chapter features a cartoon, and Justin Jones-Fosu tackles this serious subject with a playful and compassionate tone. For example, he writes “I have become more and more intentional in my desire to respectfully disagree with others (except those who think putting ketchup on eggs is wrong…there is no hope for respect there).”
With a wide range of examples and exercises throughout, this is a timely and reader-friendly handbook to disagreeing with someone’s ideology while passionately pursuing their humanity.
Divisions are on the rise around the world, and 2024 may well be a peak year. We’re losing the ability to disagree without demonizing. There is a deep need for this practical and accessible guide to having challenging conversations in any situation, from the workplace to the classroom to the dinner table.
It’s not about saying the right words at the right time but something vastly deeper. In this book, you’ll discover the 5 pillars of respectfully disagreeing:
Challenge your perspective
Be the student
Cultivate your curiosity
Seek the gray
Agree to respect
But this is not a weighty tome. Each chapter features a cartoon, and Justin Jones-Fosu tackles this serious subject with a playful and compassionate tone. For example, he writes “I have become more and more intentional in my desire to respectfully disagree with others (except those who think putting ketchup on eggs is wrong…there is no hope for respect there).”
With a wide range of examples and exercises throughout, this is a timely and reader-friendly handbook to disagreeing with someone’s ideology while passionately pursuing their humanity.
240 pages, Paperback
Published April 16, 2024
44 people are currently reading
203 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
April 7, 2024
Justin Jones-Fosu brings another book into our lives at such a timely point. With the divided nature of our entire country, Justin brings a book to help us have disagreements respectfully... should be required reading for everyone in 2024!
April 8, 2024
This book is really needed during this time. The book offers insight into where we are as a people, and how we can do better in our daily communications and disagreements. I highly recommend!!!
Thank you Justin!!!
Thank you Justin!!!
March 24, 2025
A very nice book. Being human is number one priority in arguments and disagreements.
When you disagree with someone, you can opt to build a barrier or a bridge. Barriers dehumanize others, while bridges create mutual respect. However, it’s important to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself even when building bridges.
When you disagree with someone, you can opt to build a barrier or a bridge. Barriers dehumanize others, while bridges create mutual respect. However, it’s important to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself even when building bridges.
December 8, 2024
Justin Jones-Fosu's I Respectfully Disagree delves into the delicate art of navigating tough conversations in an increasingly polarized world. The book introduces practical tools and principles to bridge divides without sacrificing authenticity or relationships. Using relatable anecdotes, Jones-Fosu outlines a five-pillar framework for fostering meaningful and respectful dialogue while challenging readers to see disagreements as opportunities for growth rather than barriers.
What I loved most about this book is how it feels deeply personal yet universally applicable. Jones-Fosu draws on his upbringing and professional experiences to underline the importance of empathy and perspective. The chapter introducing “Golden Respect” particularly stood out to me. It redefines respect not as something earned or transactional but as a fundamental acknowledgment of humanity. I found the comparison between societal respect norms and Golden Respect’s ideals enlightening, especially the principle that respect is more about internal conviction than external behaviors. This notion reframed how I approach disagreements in my life.
The stories Jones-Fosu uses to illustrate his points hit close to home. It’s a reminder that behind every sharp word is a tangled web of past experiences and unmet expectations. Similarly, the chapter on the power dynamics in workplace disagreements gave me pause. The tale of Jonathan, the corporate leader who mistook dissent for disrespect, highlighted how unchecked authority stifles innovation and erodes trust—a cautionary tale for anyone in a leadership role. Another standout is the Tortoise Principle, which emphasizes small, consistent efforts over grand gestures in fostering better communication habits. It’s a comforting idea in a world where instant solutions are often glorified. The book’s refusal to oversimplify the complexities of human interaction is refreshing.
I Respectfully Disagree is a timely, heartfelt, and actionable guide for anyone seeking to engage in deeper, more constructive conversations. It’s ideal for professionals, families, and anyone striving to connect across differences with empathy and respect. If you’ve ever found yourself dreading confrontations or unsure how to disagree without damaging relationships, this book will give you the tools to navigate those challenges with confidence and care. Highly recommended!
What I loved most about this book is how it feels deeply personal yet universally applicable. Jones-Fosu draws on his upbringing and professional experiences to underline the importance of empathy and perspective. The chapter introducing “Golden Respect” particularly stood out to me. It redefines respect not as something earned or transactional but as a fundamental acknowledgment of humanity. I found the comparison between societal respect norms and Golden Respect’s ideals enlightening, especially the principle that respect is more about internal conviction than external behaviors. This notion reframed how I approach disagreements in my life.
The stories Jones-Fosu uses to illustrate his points hit close to home. It’s a reminder that behind every sharp word is a tangled web of past experiences and unmet expectations. Similarly, the chapter on the power dynamics in workplace disagreements gave me pause. The tale of Jonathan, the corporate leader who mistook dissent for disrespect, highlighted how unchecked authority stifles innovation and erodes trust—a cautionary tale for anyone in a leadership role. Another standout is the Tortoise Principle, which emphasizes small, consistent efforts over grand gestures in fostering better communication habits. It’s a comforting idea in a world where instant solutions are often glorified. The book’s refusal to oversimplify the complexities of human interaction is refreshing.
I Respectfully Disagree is a timely, heartfelt, and actionable guide for anyone seeking to engage in deeper, more constructive conversations. It’s ideal for professionals, families, and anyone striving to connect across differences with empathy and respect. If you’ve ever found yourself dreading confrontations or unsure how to disagree without damaging relationships, this book will give you the tools to navigate those challenges with confidence and care. Highly recommended!
April 15, 2024
Justin Jones-Fosu is a master and an inspiration. He has such an accessible, rational, and sometimes humorous style of writing that he makes learning about handling conflict wisely revelatory and light-hearted at the same time. I was a such a fan of his previous book, INCLUSIVE MINDSET, that I invited him to speak to two groups of executives I lead. Trust me, the energy and positivity you sense on the page is on full display in person!
Interestingly, I was reading I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE at the same time I was listening to Charles Duhig's book SUPERCOMMUNICATORS. This combination packed an extra punch and affirmed the practicality of Justin's 5 Pillars toward bridging divides. My favorite part of the book was Justin's ability to bring each section to life with stories from his own life and others. Every principle came to life in an apt and memorable way.
We all encounter conflict, and it seems now more often than ever. In I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE Justin adds to our conversational toolkit and our bank of wisdom, making it possible to remain present and become more comfortable with all kinds of dialog. Sometimes we know when we're likely to encounter conflict and can mentally prepare. You know when I'll appreciate having read this book? When conflict takes me by surprise. Yep, I know I'll be better equipped now.
Interestingly, I was reading I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE at the same time I was listening to Charles Duhig's book SUPERCOMMUNICATORS. This combination packed an extra punch and affirmed the practicality of Justin's 5 Pillars toward bridging divides. My favorite part of the book was Justin's ability to bring each section to life with stories from his own life and others. Every principle came to life in an apt and memorable way.
We all encounter conflict, and it seems now more often than ever. In I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE Justin adds to our conversational toolkit and our bank of wisdom, making it possible to remain present and become more comfortable with all kinds of dialog. Sometimes we know when we're likely to encounter conflict and can mentally prepare. You know when I'll appreciate having read this book? When conflict takes me by surprise. Yep, I know I'll be better equipped now.
March 4, 2024
This book, "I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Conversations in a Divided World," made me do something rare - I stopped, reflected, and truly absorbed its message after each chapter. It's not often a book compels me to pause and ponder, but this one did. Its insights on meaningful conversations are invaluable for everyone.
One significant takeaway for me was the notion that agreeing to disagree isn't always respectful; sometimes, it's merely a cop-out, a sign of laziness, or a lack of willingness to understand the other person's perspective. It made me realize how I've sometimes fallen into the trap of 'keeping the peace' by disrespectfully agreeing rather than engaging authentically.
I particularly resonated with the concept of expressing gratitude by saying, "Thank you, because..." It's a simple yet powerful technique that can elevate any conversation, making it more thoughtful and meaningful. I've already started using this with my husband and I can see it makes a difference.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their communication skills and engage in more constructive dialogues in the workplace, with loved ones, and strangers, in all conversations.
One significant takeaway for me was the notion that agreeing to disagree isn't always respectful; sometimes, it's merely a cop-out, a sign of laziness, or a lack of willingness to understand the other person's perspective. It made me realize how I've sometimes fallen into the trap of 'keeping the peace' by disrespectfully agreeing rather than engaging authentically.
I particularly resonated with the concept of expressing gratitude by saying, "Thank you, because..." It's a simple yet powerful technique that can elevate any conversation, making it more thoughtful and meaningful. I've already started using this with my husband and I can see it makes a difference.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their communication skills and engage in more constructive dialogues in the workplace, with loved ones, and strangers, in all conversations.
April 16, 2024
Paradigm shift. I am certain the tools and insights gained from this book will strengthen my relationships and my overall ability to listen and understand others. Mr. Jones-Fosu's book offers a much needed and appreciated approach to both foster and maintain sincere respect and recognition for the humanity that connects each of us, even (and maybe, especially) throughout heated debate. While there is increasing concern for the growing unrest and division facing our world on a grand scale -I love that this book focuses on the reader's personal interactions; everyday discussions with close family, friends, colleagues, and others within their community. By beginning the practice of respectfully disagreeing, at our own ground zero-we have a foundation to build our skills and expand them to later encompass and impact the greater world. Compare the seed of a Giant Redwood tree to it's mature form, and you can understand how big growth and change can begin in seemingly small ways. Justin Jones-Fosu's concepts are seeds worth cultivating. FIVE STARS!
March 19, 2024
"I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Conversations in a Divided World" is a recommended read. The framework and the content of the book offer tools to help develop an effective and considerate mindset. Think of this book as a toolkit to help you travel through a world where disagreement seems to be everywhere.
The author displays vulnerability by sharing personal examples and lessons learned while also guiding the reader through practical approaches to navigate disagreement. The book offers useful strategies to create Golden Respect through increased self-awareness and appreciation for the perspectives and world view of others.
I found the “Thank you, because” approach from chapter 9 to be a standout lesson on appreciating the value of another person’s viewpoint (even if you disagree with it).
I recommend this book as an excellent tool for readers focused to improve relationships, create a healthier mindset, and improve interpersonal and communication skills. Enjoy!
The author displays vulnerability by sharing personal examples and lessons learned while also guiding the reader through practical approaches to navigate disagreement. The book offers useful strategies to create Golden Respect through increased self-awareness and appreciation for the perspectives and world view of others.
I found the “Thank you, because” approach from chapter 9 to be a standout lesson on appreciating the value of another person’s viewpoint (even if you disagree with it).
I recommend this book as an excellent tool for readers focused to improve relationships, create a healthier mindset, and improve interpersonal and communication skills. Enjoy!
April 7, 2024
What an incredible book! It really, really made me (re)think about those moments when I stand my ground - and am NOT truly listening to the other person - just wanting to push my own perspective. Justin does an amazing job of sharing numerous examples of real life stories that capture your attention in every chapter. He offers clear frameworks and principals from the idea that respect is a choice… to imagining that conversations are a dance… to seeking the grey… to seeing people as collaborators instead of competitors… I have already found myself weaving the powerful principals into conversations within my many different environments and circles. This book will stay front and center as I continue to navigate, learn and grow!
April 15, 2024
This is an easy to read book, it’s well organized and the chapters pack a punch. I loved the use of stories, life experiences shared and the graphics.
I felt the book was calling out my weaknesses while showing me ways I could improve. As someone who is constantly arguing with individuals with contrary beliefs or facts, this book has given me easy-to-implement tools that have made me more assertive in a short period of time. I just implemented some of them last week and I can say that I left the conversation with more clarity and respect for the other person than in previous meetings.
Of course this might not apply to all my future disagreements but I am sure I will be able to learn and grow from them.
I felt the book was calling out my weaknesses while showing me ways I could improve. As someone who is constantly arguing with individuals with contrary beliefs or facts, this book has given me easy-to-implement tools that have made me more assertive in a short period of time. I just implemented some of them last week and I can say that I left the conversation with more clarity and respect for the other person than in previous meetings.
Of course this might not apply to all my future disagreements but I am sure I will be able to learn and grow from them.
March 28, 2024
I Respectfully Disagree' Is a Game-Changer
This book offers a refreshing approach to navigating tough conversations. As someone who's often found myself at odds with others, I can't emphasize enough how much this book has helped me.
What I love most is how relatable the book is. The advice given is practical and easy to implement. By challenging my perspective and staying open-minded, I've found myself having more meaningful conversations—even with those I vehemently disagree with.
If you're tired of arguments that lead nowhere, 'I Respectfully Disagree' is a must-read. Trust me, it's a game-changer.
This book offers a refreshing approach to navigating tough conversations. As someone who's often found myself at odds with others, I can't emphasize enough how much this book has helped me.
What I love most is how relatable the book is. The advice given is practical and easy to implement. By challenging my perspective and staying open-minded, I've found myself having more meaningful conversations—even with those I vehemently disagree with.
If you're tired of arguments that lead nowhere, 'I Respectfully Disagree' is a must-read. Trust me, it's a game-changer.
April 15, 2024
I Respectfully Disagree is must-read material. It is an incredible read that infuses personal stories with easy-to-relate-to frameworks that the reader can start incorporating into their life, now.
It’s more than stories and models, Justin provides reflection questions and suggests things us readers can do in everyday life to start building our own capacity for disagreeing respectfully.
As a leadership educator, I can’t wait to infuse concepts from I Respectfully Disagree into our leadership development programs.
It’s more than stories and models, Justin provides reflection questions and suggests things us readers can do in everyday life to start building our own capacity for disagreeing respectfully.
As a leadership educator, I can’t wait to infuse concepts from I Respectfully Disagree into our leadership development programs.
September 2, 2024
What resonated with this book on how to have difficult conversations in a divided world? Perhaps of the five pillars of respectfully disagreeing defined by Justin Jones-Fosu, his emphasis on Pillar 5 "Agree To Respect" strikes me as a message for our time. What will I apply as a result? I truly believe I will focus more on acknowledging others---even those with whom I disagree---with his "thank you because" advice for treating everyone with kindness, empathy, and respect. We all could use a heaping helping of his anecdotes and advice in "I Respectfully Disagree."
April 9, 2025
I'm reading a lot of mediation and mediation-adjacent books right now. My review is colored with that background. This seemed like it contained a lot of great material for the uninitiated. I found that it was repeating things that I was already familiar with and practice regularly. Still, I enjoyed the author's style, which shone through in the audiobook, and would recommend this to anyone who is struggling with the topic in their personal life.
November 16, 2025
Listened on audio for a DEI work book club. This topic is so important. Learning to not "agree to disagree" and to instead respectfully disagree. Placing focus on curiosity and actively listening. I liked his perspective on trying to find a common ground, and to use phrases like "Thank you, because...". The idea of the tortoise and the hare - that sometimes it takes individuals longer than others for a revelation, and that our beliefs and values are shaped by our experiences.
March 25, 2024
We need this book today more than ever. Justin Jones-Fosu has recognized the disturbing trend in our society - that we are becoming more polarized than ever before.
In "I Respectfully Disagree" Jones-Fosu provides the reader with tools and strategies to learn how to disagree with someone without dehumanizing them.
In "I Respectfully Disagree" Jones-Fosu provides the reader with tools and strategies to learn how to disagree with someone without dehumanizing them.
April 12, 2024
Fantastic book! It is well thought out and written. This book offers a different way to approach those difficult conversations that are a normal part of life. The timing of this book is impeccable as we live in a society now that does not listen rather only responds. I truly hope more people read this book to learn that it is okay to disagree and to do so without dehumanizing.
March 27, 2024
Justin does a phenomenal job with this book by putting a REAL touch of humor & kindness supported by constant real world examples. The book is structured very well and is easy to read while offering great insight that can help you in many areas of your life. Highly recommend!!
April 9, 2024
Loved this! I wish this was required reading in high schools as I feel that Justin outlines and guides you through essential skills in not only the art of conversation, but in respecting everyone's humanity. I will be trading my boxing gloves for a magnifying glass!
July 10, 2024
Justin did an amazing job presenting ways to address discourse in a respectful manner! It gives higher ed practitioners, such as myself, the ability to utilize his tangible tools to create constructive dialogue among teams!
November 17, 2024
2/5
The content of this book wasn’t horrible. However, it felt like when my professor tells me to write a 2000 word discussion post over the chapter we just read, so I just repeat the same point in different words for half the post.
The content of this book wasn’t horrible. However, it felt like when my professor tells me to write a 2000 word discussion post over the chapter we just read, so I just repeat the same point in different words for half the post.
September 27, 2024
Very useful and interesting book.
November 25, 2024
2024 BIBA Winner!
October 5, 2025
Readable, about the right length and offering lots of helpful tips.
November 19, 2025
I would rate a 3.5. A thought provoking book with some tactical advice in how to go into conversations differently to have more open conversations.
July 16, 2024
Incredible book!! Justin has managed to take a polarized topic and turn it into a work of art. The concepts presented in this book are relatable and can be applied to any situation. I particularly loved the reference to Curious George and the connections made to our ever day conversations and challenges. Additionally, I cannot wait to see how my use of the phrase "yes because" helps to transform my conversations moving forward.
November 28, 2024
I respectfully agree 💯💯💯
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews