How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen

Monster Girlfriend #2

by Marie Cardno

Sian's world thinks she's dead. Trillin's dimension wants to make sure of it. And the place they escaped to together just threw a dragon at them. All Sian wanted was a quiet moment to make out with her new girlfriend. Instead, she and the adorably monstrous Trillin find themselves trapped by a world whose fairytale magic has very strict ideas about who gets a happily-ever-after. Princesses exist to be rescued. Heroes do the rescuing. And monsters? Monsters get killed. In a world where happy-ever-after has teeth, Sian and Trillin are going to learn to bite back. How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen is a paranormal romcom featuring ridiculous gender and genre roles, big swords and a woman who doesn't know how to use them, and shapeshifting true love winning against all odds.

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Queer, Lesbian, Novella, LGBT, Monster Romance

141 pages, Paperback

First published July 27, 2023

Reviews

[Cas ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

More a cerebral adventure fantasy, not so much a romance
I… think my hopes were too high for the sequel? I don’t know. I was really hoping we’d see advancement in their relationship or at least further sapphic cute-ness but the second book ends the same way the first book ends, minus the addition of declarations of love (that… idk how we even got there? Sian realizes she never wants to be without Trillan but acknowledges it doesn’t make much sense, since they’ve know each other for a hot minute.) Otherwise, they’re apart for almost the entirety of the book and trying to get back to each other. (Which was cute in an angsty, pining sort of way but again not what I was hoping for going into it.)

It was also very, very confusing to read. Even more cerebral and fluid than the first one; both of which are structurally SO different than everything else I’ve read — which isn’t bad, it just makes it difficult to follow. Their adventures feel a bit like a fever dream; vivid and gripping but bizarre and leaving you confused.

Again, it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t at all what I was hoping for (or expecting for that matter) and I feel a bit bereft it’s over and now I have to wait for the third book for anything else to happen.

I feel a bit bad rating it so low as an ARC reader, but I've made a commitment to always being honest in my reviews. This book WILL be someone's cup of tea, I have no doubt.

[SJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. I had hopes for this book after reading How to Get a Girlfriend. I wanted to see what would happen with Sian and Trillin and how they would navigate this “interspecies” relationship. But book two went in a completely different direction. It took me a while to figure out the Endless and how the magic on earth worked in book one. Then book two was set in a completely new world with a different kind of magic. I’m still not sure I fully understand it other than it’s some kind of horribly f*cked up version of a fairy tale in essentially an alternate earth. And book one was more in the science fiction realm whereas book two felt much more like fantasy. It almost felt like a completely different story at times.

Trillian and Sian get separated early on in the book and spend a majority of the book apart. Maybe if they had been navigating the challenges of this new world together instead of apart I might have gotten more invested in the story as a whole. But there was no relationship building, which was the part I was most looking forward to in this book. We don’t get to see their relationship develop at all. And yet [SPOILER] - they still end up falling in love somehow. Even though they’ve hardly spent more than a day(?) together.

I know other people have loved it and I genuinely wanted to love it, too. But it just didn’t hit the mark for me. I know it will be someone else’s cup of tea, it just wasn’t mine.

I received an ARC of this book from the author and this is my honest review.

[Jo Denning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trillin and Sian's dimension-hopping misadventures continue in a very creative dark fairy tale crossover-type story. Hard to explain but still a very unique and enjoyable read! Turns out girl tentacle monster is the best of all worlds.

[Juniper L.H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful novella. I love these characters, this setting and world, and the creativity these novellas are steeped in. I will definitely be reading any and all sequels that come out from this author/series. It was SO much fun and was over far too soon. The writing is very original in terms of style and substance. The worldbuilding is absolutely excellent. I recommend to all!

My only complaint, same as the last one, is that we didn’t get enough of the protagonists together. I want to see them being happy together! These folks simply can’t get a break. The rapid pace of these stories means that very little time has passed since they met, and I really want to see them together without a high-pressure action situation keeping them occupied. The novel could have been a lot longer, having a lot more detail, and it would have made it better.

[abi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've given it a go but this series is just not for me and I won't be continuing with it.

[Naara Calliope · Rating 3.75 out of 5]

Da trilogia, esse foi o que achei mais interessante. Demorei um pouco mais para ler, comparado ao primeiro, mas achei muito bom! Os personagens secundários são interessantes, mas senti que não foram tão desenvolvidos e houveram perguntas sobre eles que não foram respondidas. Não sei se haverá um livro da autora com foco nesses personagens, mas ainda assim, isso foi algo que fez com que minha nota não fosse maior. A escrita da autora continua sendo maravilhosa e envolvente. O body horror continua aqui - eu realmente amo isso! De modo geral, a sensação que tive é de que a história iria ser muito mais do que realmente foi - e ela tinha potencial para isso. Entretanto, continua sendo uma história boa e leve de se ler.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im automatically a fan of anything that spoofs or twists classic fairy tale tropes. This one was so unique and fun, I had a great time!

“Everyone kept talking about happy ever afters, princes, princesses and monsters. They had it wrong, calling Sian a prince, but if anyone was her princess, it was Trillin.”

“What if my monster is the girl?
Ah, well you’re fucked I guess. Just in a new and interesting way.”

[Corinna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read the first book of this series, so I had high expectations for this one. Unfortunately, my expectations were not met. I don't know. This one was just hard to follow, and I wanted more on the characters' relationship, which only happens at the very end. I will be reading the final installment, but man, this was a bit meh.

[Tamara · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I found the writing was better in this second story then with the first novella in the series.
I did like the concepts of this story like the first however i think to much was going on for a novella.

I also found the title and the synopsis a little misleading

[SeasaltRose · Rating 4 out of 5]

The second book in the series was a lot of fun! Somewhat of a side quest in a new weird dimension the characters grow and learn about themselves and their new relationship. I’m looking forward to reading the final book!

[Dahné "anotherbookchick"]

Leaving unrated due to working relationship however...

I recommend picking up this whole series if you enjoy:
💜 Sapphic Romance
💜 Human x Monster
💜 Cosy Fantasy
💜 Quirky & Humorous story
💜 Sci-fi vibes

[gio · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was even more cute than the first one and so much fun. Together the two short stories could be a single book but ok, I get it being this way.
I honestly can’t wait for a third book about them.

[M L Brooks]

Cute

I really liked the first one and this is equally cute, although the ending with the queen was a little confusing if I'm honest.

[OllieReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

what can I say? this silly lil' series has a place in my heart

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sapphic, dimension-hopping, quirky, monster romance. I really liked this one. I think I liked it more than book one. The world building was more solid, and I understood how the magic worked a bit more this time around.

We are following Sian and Trillin again, and I absolutely love the slow burn relationship we are getting with them. They are adorable together, and I think they are very well-developed!

I'm pumped to read book three!

[Skylar Zuiden · Rating 1 out of 5]

How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen was deeply disappointing for me, and at times, borderline incomprehensible. The prose is rambling and evasive, constantly cutting away or skipping context so quickly that I felt more disoriented than immersed. I can see the intent, which was that the narration wants you inside the characters’ scrambled, off-balance headspace. But in practice it made it hard to settle into the story at all.

A bigger issue is how abstract the worldbuilding stays for far too long. I only managed to piece together the core idea—that Sian and Trillin are trapped in a kind of modern fantasy “duplicate Earth” where fairytale magic puppets people into rigid story roles—after the book spent what felt like eighty pages circling basic mechanics instead of explaining them. In the meantime, the narrative leans on bland exchanges with thinly sketched side characters, to the point that I finished the book and still couldn’t tell you anything substantive about the people Sian meets along the way. The result for me was less “intentionally surreal” and more “difficult to follow,” with not enough character texture to make the haze worth pushing through.

[Phoenix · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was quirky, but quirky in the good way. This book follows directly on from the first, so if you haven’t read How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re A Terrifying Monster, you should read that first.

I absolutely loved the new world Sian and Trillin ended up in. It’s not something I’ve come across before, a Fairytale world where no matter your gender, you could be a Prince or Princess. It was even more interesting reading about Trillin becoming the Evil Queen. This was such a fun and short story.

Thank you Marie for allowing me to be part of your ARC team!

Added October 2024: loved this and all its magic. This story carries on straight from book one - How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re a Terrifying Monster

[Lez_be_readin_ya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, thank you, Marie, for the ARC, it's an honor to be part of the team! Another great book.

The storyline continues from where How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) left off the adventure Sian goes through in this book is exciting, and challenging, having to navigate a fairytale world with a dragon, Princes and Princesses, I spent the book hoping that Sian and Trillin would find their way back to each other and that they would get their fairytale ending they truly deserve. It truly was such a great read.

This title will be released on July 27th so get it in your diaries 🗓 and pre-order now!

Star rating. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice rating. 🔥

[Alex at lost Haven Homestead · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Premise: A Fairytale for the Bureaucratic Age
In this delightful follow-up to her previous monster-romance adventures, Marie Cardno tackles the most dangerous quest of all: the "Enemies-to-Lovers" trope in a world governed by strict heroic protocols.
The story follows a protagonist who is technically a "Hero" by trade but possesses a distinct lack of the usual bravado. When she is tasked with confronting the local "Evil Queen"—a woman who is as terrifyingly competent as she is aesthetically striking—our hero decides that perhaps a peace treaty (and a dinner reservation) is a more efficient solution than a sword fight. It’s a whimsical, sapphic exploration of what happens when you decide to ignore the script of your own fairytale.
What Works: Why It’s a 4.5-Star Read
The Subversion of Tropes: Cardno’s greatest strength is her humor. She takes the standard "Good vs. Evil" framework and injects it with modern sensibilities and dry, self-aware wit. The idea that being a "Dark Overlord" involves a significant amount of administrative paperwork is a recurring and hilarious theme.
The "Sunshine/Grumpy" Dynamic: The chemistry between the awkward, earnest Hero and the sharp, formidable Queen is top-tier. It captures that specific "useless lesbian" energy perfectly—the Hero is clearly out of her league, and watching her stumble through romantic overtures while trying not to get executed is both cringe-inducing and adorable.
World-Building Through Humor: Like Cardno’s previous work, the world feels lived-in. The magical rules are consistent, and the "Hero’s Guild" vibes add a layer of institutional absurdity that makes the setting feel unique in a crowded genre.
Compact but Complete: As a novella, it doesn't overstay its welcome. It’s a tight, focused story that delivers exactly what the title promises without getting bogged down in unnecessary subplots.
The Slight Setbacks
The only reason it misses a perfect 5 is the pacing toward the end. Much like her previous novellas, the climax and the "getting the date" moment happen quite rapidly. While satisfying, readers who enjoy a deeper dive into the "Evil Queen’s" backstory might find themselves wishing the book was twice as long to give the villainess more time to soften.
Final Verdict
How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen is a masterclass in "Cozy Fantasy" with a sharp, sarcastic edge. It’s the perfect read for anyone who grew up rooting for the villain and wondered why the hero didn't just try talking to her first. It’s short, sweet, and wonderfully weird.

[Neocarleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

After establishing an interesting setting and magic system in the first novella, this one starts with our lovely new couple flung into a distant, alternate version of Sian's Earth, with a completely different kind of magic. This world is wrapped up in an enchantment that forces its residents into roles of Princes and Princesses, with proximity-activated love obsession at first sight. It also keeps spawning monsters that single princes are compelled to fight until they get thier happily-ever-after with a princess. Sian is assigned the role of a prince. Trillin, who is the farthest thing from a princess, is instead morphed into an entirely new role: Evil Queen.

Everything I just described above is kept vague until about half-way through the novella when Victor finally takes the time to explain the situation to Sian. Until then, he and Rosamund spend the whole time bickering with each other rather than listening to anything Sian says or asks them. It was frustrating, as Sian asked them, "what's happening?" multiple times and they do anything but give a straight answer.

Meanwhile Trillin, who was teleported away minutes after arriving there, is kept apart from Sian until the very end. They think about each other a lot, but it's not much of a romance story when the couple are kept apart for 90% of it. This is all about Sian, with occasional cutaways to Trillin's international thoughts while she's trapped and hidden away.

That's right. The interdimensional, shapeshifting, eldritch monster is the damsel who needs saving. And it's not even in a fun, satirical way. Trillin is stuck inside her own mind while a freshly sentient piece of magic puppeteers her body around as an evil queen. She could easily kill it (which she very briefly considers doing), but decides that she really wants to be a pacifist from now on. At one point Trillin starts to forcefully reclaim her body, but doesn't go all the way, and instead waits for the entity to leave on its own. What a surprise, it doesn't, and Trillin is pushed back again. If only there was something between murder and complete passivity, but alas those seem to be the only two options.

I finished the first Monster Girlfriend novella having enjoyed it so much I wished it was longer. By the end of How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen, I was glad it was finally over. Not a great follow-up, in my opinion. There's one more to this little series, let's hope it wraps up nice and satisfactory.

[Ivory Shrike · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read book one, and while it was short, it was unique and fairly fun to read about the world and characters. Book two completely confused me. I got the idea that stereotypes and the words we use to describe one another can be just as dangerous as they can be uplifting, but book two took this to another level. The main characters enter a world where the danger of stereotyping and character cliches are literal. At first separated and confused, it takes time for them for to find each other, and in the process, the reader is meant to learn more about how the world works in the manner it does. What I believe the author does badly here is that once we learn the rules of this new and curious land they're immediately broken. To flip a stereotype on it's head, or to even make it a caricature, would have been a clever way to break free, but once the stereotypes have been flipped, the author doesn't stop flipping. For a story where roles and who plays them has such importance, the final scenes lost me. I found myself at the end of the novella just as confused as I had been at the beginning. Trillin was fun as always, and reading Sian struggling to reconcile what Trillin is and how they fit together in this world was good way her chapters interesting. Altogether, it was fun, confusing, and brief.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a fan of Alix Harrow's A Spindle Splintered duology or Seanan McGuire's Every Heart a Doorway, you really should read this brilliant New Zealand fantasy novella, whether or not you've already read the first in this series (the hilariously wacky How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster)). This novella is less wacky and laugh-out-loud funny than that first story in the series, but it more than makes up for that with real, heartfelt emotion and a fabulous, mind-bending take on fairy tales and the power of story telling.

In this story, Trillin (a shape-changing, escaped piece of the world-eating entity The Endless) and her new girlfriend Sian (a reckless New Zealand witch) land in an alternate version of Earth where magic works very, very differently - and if they don't watch out, they'll both be forced to play roles they never wanted in a worldwide fairy tale. Figuring out how to escape and build a real relationship (NOT a fairytale happy ending) will require learning new ways to be themselves - and confronting hard truths about where they both came from.

I loved it, and I can't wait to see what will happen in their next adventure.

[Paula Norburgh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book and  of 2025 - How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen by Marie Cardno – Here we meet Sian and Trillian again, a witch and monster of the abyss and endless. The world think Sian is dead but she just happens to be in another dimension, as you do! Who do we think is with her Trillin who made that dimension and all the portals? As with all love stories neither wanted to be banished and both wanted to be together, however they somehow landed on a dragon and in an enchanted place where all Princes are enchanted to save and fall in love with a princess even they do not want too! Sian and Trillian are not in the honeymoon period of their relationship but back to trying to escape and enchantment of the happy ever after fairytale where monsters and that means Trillin could die! They do not let this stop them and battle it again! How to Get the Girl (And Not Destroy the World) by Marie Cardno – The third and final part of the sapphic romance series, see us go home but not really, as they are split between many dimensions – Cardno dives into the ametaphysicality of the world, as dimensions ebb and flow  and the world has to be saved by not exploding or imploding! A trilogy I will return to and I think have a totally different experience with on the second reading!

 

[Sheeraz · Rating 2 out of 5]

A weird departure from its predecessor with the same lovable main characters but a confusing setting. After barely escaping with their lives from Earth and the Endless dimension, Sian and Trillin find themselves in a new world with some strange old magic which forces inhabitants into fairy tale roles. You can be the prince, the princess or the monster that needs to be vanquished for the two to have their happily ever after. When Trillin gets pulled into being the monster by the strong magic, and Sian, the prince, they must find a way to break the curse so they don't have to spend time playing this inane game.

While I absolutely loved the first book, this was quite the letdown and veered too far from what made the first book work. There's no fantastical yet terrible world, no central driver of tension, no Endless, no clear description of how Trillin is so powerless with this new foe, and so on. The lore of the new dimension is extremely confounding and ill-inspired. I feel disappointed but staying optimistic for any sequel.

[Nat Paga · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

This was an interesting, unexpected direction for book 2 of the Monster Girlfriend series to head. Like the first book, the plot takes off with a bang (or, a fire breathing dragon), and things never really slow down from there. I would have liked more growth between Sian and Trillin's relationship. The author presents some interesting themes/conflict at the very end, and the lack of time Sian and Trillin spend together makes the resolution feel a bit unearned. Overall, I get the sense that the story could have spent a bit more time cooking, but it was still a fun, fast read.

For a unique take on monster-girl sapphic romance that's kisses-only, sweet, and action-packed, this is a good pick.

[A.J. Lancaster]

How to Get a Date with the Evil Queen is the sequel to the equally delightfully titled How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster), which I can whole-heartedly recommend to anyone looking for a cosy sapphic fantasy.

In Evil Queen, our favourite scientist/Cthulian monster couple face a world where happily ever after is a curse. I loved this twist on fairytale tropes, and Trillin continues to be my tentacular fave.

[Fuuma · Rating 4 out of 5]

The prose mostly goes at lightspeed. It gives the story a very rushed feeling. Until things are supposed to be dramatic, and suddenly it all slows down to a snail pace.

I like the story. I like the concept and the characters and the dialogue and all the things. But the lightspeed pace leaves the story suffering from the white space problem, and worse, from plotholes. I definitely think the plotholes wouldn't be plotholes if the author had slowed down to explain why and how certain things were happening. But as it stands, I have no idea why they couldn't just solve the problem on page 5.

That said, I totes still wanna read the third book in the series, so there's that.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm really enjoying the Monster Girlfriend series. Is it the most amazing thing ever written, no; but it's cute and fun and Trillin is amazing. This one focuses more on Sian and her journey to understanding what she wants with this relationship. There's some playing with fairytale tropes and it was fun having everyone refer to Sian as a "prince" just because of the role she plays in those tropes. I do wish Trillin got to do more but considering she was the "princess" who needed rescued, I guess it makes sense considering the page count.
And Bunny should have been around more! Leaving them behind had better have consiquences in the third book.

[Tempy · Rating 5 out of 5]

To my shock and awe this was BETTER than it’s predecessor. While the first book in the series was a fun, weird, and enjoyable brain break this book was really something else. The story felt incredibly original but also had a familiarity to it (I found myself thinking often of the Once Upon A Time TV show - perhaps the journey through hero/villain, monster/prince/princess). This book had so many unexpected examples of truly fantastic writing interwoven through some humour and absolute absurdity.
I hope book 3 follows the same trajectory of improvement.

[Issy Waldrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is certainly an interesting take on the trilogy, taking the book in both a new direction, and also not. It's a new world (sort of), with a complication of its own, that separates them, and getting back together isn't an easy task. Yet, for all of its changes (which, honestly, suits Trillian and Sian very well), it provides plenty of character growth, and a lot of hints as to things to come.

All in all, and enjoyable second installment to the series, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it wraps up.