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Attachment in Psychotherapy
This eloquent book translates attachment theory and research into an innovative framework that grounds adult psychotherapy in the facts of childhood development. Advancing a model of treatment as transformation through relationship, the author integrates attachment theory with neuroscience, trauma studies, relational psychotherapy, and the psychology of mindfulness. Vivid case material illustrates how therapists can tailor interventions to fit the attachment needs of their patients, thus helping them to generate the internalized secure base for which their early relationships provided no foundation. Demonstrating the clinical uses of a focus on nonverbal interaction, the book describes powerful techniques for working with the emotional responses and bodily experiences of patient and therapist alike.
383 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 1, 2007
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6176 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
May 3, 2008
As the author of this book, I can recommend it without reservation. Seriously I'm interested in readers' comments on what I've written. And if readers have questions I'd be more than happy to try to answer them. I wrote the book with an audience of therapists in mind...but I've been told (and I concur) that the book will be of interest to non-clinicians as well. So in closing I'd say: Read! Learn! Enjoy! and be well...And keep me posted regarding your responses to Attachment in Psychotherapy.
May 19, 2019
Masterwork!!!
Game changer!!!
I super love this book!!!
Author David J Wallin writes about relational psychotherapy with rigorous honesty, big heart and perspicacious intellect.
This book was a revelation for me.
And the timing could not have been better.
Providing therapy (particularly in our current system) can be a bit of a burnout.
Burnout stifles curiosity, and kills the drive to reach beyond those tired, tried and true therapy tricks we all resort to in times of ragged desperation.
The clarity of thought, and more importantly the authors total commitment to the subject, startled me back to the vital remembrance that sharp intellect, attuned presence, creativity, honed skill, authentic generosity and real wisdom are all mission critical to our sacred yet impossible profession.
Sometimes the cure for fatigue is not rest, but rather re-connecting with the things that enliven.
This book gave me one of those jump starts.
The book is written by a therapist (David J. Wallin), for other therapists.
But the special language and constructs used in the book are explained well.
So it may also have value for a dedicated non therapist reader.
Essentially, the book is about how an explicit awareness of attachment dynamics can be utilized to foster corrective experiences in therapy and in relationships more broadly speaking.
If this sounds good. And if you can tolerate a little jargon (explanations included) than by all means read on:
Attachment Theory: is a general explanation of how and why humans bond together in relationship.
Attachment Styles: provide a simple taxonomy of the (largely implicit) strategies people use for connecting and reconnecting in relationship.
Attachment Dynamics: refer to the ways that the various attachment styles interact in relationships.
Embeddedness: refers to the degree to which a person is fused with their own cognitive and emotional content.
We have all been ‘swept away’ by a strong emotional reaction, and we have all become ‘entranced’ by the concurrent thoughts that fuel these strong emotions.
Conversely, we have all had the distinctly different experience of equanimity and emotional clarity, where we have been the curious open and accepting witness of our own thoughts and feelings.
Embeddedness simply refers to the degree to which we are ‘entangled’ in (as opposed to differentiated from) our own thoughts and feelings.
NOTE: There isn’t anything wrong with being embedded in thoughts and feelings.
Most of us are mostly embedded most of the time. And that’s ok.
But there are times when being cognitively entangled and emotionally reactive can lead to disastrous outcomes.
And having the capacity to notice our thoughts and feelings, and differentiate from them can mean the difference between being a semi-somnambulant meat puppet and a free, wide awake adult.
The author offers Mindfulness and Meantalization as two pathways out of embeddedness.
Mindfulness: refers to being explicitly aware and experientially present to the moment to moment arising and falling of sensations thoughts and feelings.
Another word for mindfulness is ‘meta-awareness’ i.e. the state of being aware that you are aware.
Mentalization: refers to the ability to render your psychological processes in sufficiently clear thoughts and language.
Another word for mentalization is ‘meta-cognition’ i.e. thinking about thinking.
The author posits that mindfulness and mentalization enable us to wriggle out of the cocoon of embeddedness and become the woke, wild and free butterflies we were born to become.
Defenses: refer to the psychological strategies we adopt to protect ourselves from painful thoughts and feelings.
Shame based identifications frequently occur in response to developmental trauma.
In other words: if you are abused and neglected as a young person, it is common to adopt the distorted belief that there is something fundamentally bad, broken or unlovable about you.
Conversely, pride based counter identifications, and other similar defenses such as resistance and denial function to protect against shame based identifications.
In other words: sometimes people compensate for feelings of inadequacy or shame by adopting an equally distorted opposite posture.
You know how some people secretly feel deeply ashamed, so they tell them selves that they are better than other people, so that they don’t have to feel awful?
You know, all those other people who do that?
Anyway.....
Enactments: (or re-enactments) refer to the ways that our defenses and attachment dynamics play out in relationships with others.
Everyone has had encounters with others that feel strangely tense, or unconscious, or straightjacketed.
Like you’re on tracks, or playing out some kind of invisible emotional script.
According to Wallin (and he’s dead on) enactments happen between therapists and clients (like literally all the damn time).
Corrective Experiences: refer to events in therapy, in which the client experiences a new, healthier, more spontaneous, more authentic way of being in relationship.
Corrective Experiences can eventually transform the way the the client feels and thinks about themselves.
Perhaps more importantly, corrective experiences can transform the clients way of being in relationships.
According to Wallin, providing corrective experiences is the point of relational psychotherapy, and an explicit mindful awareness, and clear mentalization of attachment dynamics on the part of the therapist is the key.
When the therapist is either unaware that an enactment is occurring, or unable/unwilling to skillfully guide the relationship out of the enactment and back into the realm of authentic spontaneity, than we are at risk of giving the client the same, repetitive, reinforcing, or even wounding experience they have with everyone else.
Consequently, we will fail to provide the corrective experience they are coming to therapy for.
And our clients don’t need to pay someone for that.
There’s plenty of that out there for them, delivered free of charge.
We need to provide them with something different.
And the book speaks beautifully on precisely that subject.
Even if you’re throughly educated to all of the above concepts (as am I), you will still find high value in the clarity, insight and skill that Wallin employs in his explanations, explorations and case study examples.
In closing:
If I have somehow failed to convey that this is a great book, I have failed you.
This is a crucial read.
Whether your a therapist or another kind of curious reader. Definitely give this book a go.
Bonus Material:
John Bowlby is the progenitor attachment theory. He, along with Marry Ainsworth and later Mary Main are the folks who are primarily responsible for attachment theory in its current form.
Bowlby’s six conditions of attachment focused psychotherapy are as follows:
1. Establish a secure base:
The therapist must create a safe, attuned atmosphere in the therapeutic relationship - first and foremost.
2. Explore the attachment history:
The therapist assists the client in exploring their relationship history, beginning in early life, with the goal of engendering insight and new perspectives.
3. Explore the therapeutic relationship:
The therapist allows for the open exploration of attachment dynamics between themself’s and the client, again, with the goal of increasing insight and eliciting corrective experiences.
4. Link past experiences to present:
The therapist assists the client in identifying presidents for their attachment style, and importantly, how their attachment conditioning effects their current relationships.
5. Revise internal working models:
The therapist explores the conditioned implicit self and relational structures (schema for CBT folks) and assists in restructuring them in the direction of increase secure attachment.
6. Provide a safe haven during times of distress:
The therapist assists the client in co-regulation of difficult feelings, particularly during times of emotional distress.
FIVE HUGE STARS (⭐️x5)
Game changer!!!
I super love this book!!!
Author David J Wallin writes about relational psychotherapy with rigorous honesty, big heart and perspicacious intellect.
This book was a revelation for me.
And the timing could not have been better.
Providing therapy (particularly in our current system) can be a bit of a burnout.
Burnout stifles curiosity, and kills the drive to reach beyond those tired, tried and true therapy tricks we all resort to in times of ragged desperation.
The clarity of thought, and more importantly the authors total commitment to the subject, startled me back to the vital remembrance that sharp intellect, attuned presence, creativity, honed skill, authentic generosity and real wisdom are all mission critical to our sacred yet impossible profession.
Sometimes the cure for fatigue is not rest, but rather re-connecting with the things that enliven.
This book gave me one of those jump starts.
The book is written by a therapist (David J. Wallin), for other therapists.
But the special language and constructs used in the book are explained well.
So it may also have value for a dedicated non therapist reader.
Essentially, the book is about how an explicit awareness of attachment dynamics can be utilized to foster corrective experiences in therapy and in relationships more broadly speaking.
If this sounds good. And if you can tolerate a little jargon (explanations included) than by all means read on:
Attachment Theory: is a general explanation of how and why humans bond together in relationship.
Attachment Styles: provide a simple taxonomy of the (largely implicit) strategies people use for connecting and reconnecting in relationship.
Attachment Dynamics: refer to the ways that the various attachment styles interact in relationships.
Embeddedness: refers to the degree to which a person is fused with their own cognitive and emotional content.
We have all been ‘swept away’ by a strong emotional reaction, and we have all become ‘entranced’ by the concurrent thoughts that fuel these strong emotions.
Conversely, we have all had the distinctly different experience of equanimity and emotional clarity, where we have been the curious open and accepting witness of our own thoughts and feelings.
Embeddedness simply refers to the degree to which we are ‘entangled’ in (as opposed to differentiated from) our own thoughts and feelings.
NOTE: There isn’t anything wrong with being embedded in thoughts and feelings.
Most of us are mostly embedded most of the time. And that’s ok.
But there are times when being cognitively entangled and emotionally reactive can lead to disastrous outcomes.
And having the capacity to notice our thoughts and feelings, and differentiate from them can mean the difference between being a semi-somnambulant meat puppet and a free, wide awake adult.
The author offers Mindfulness and Meantalization as two pathways out of embeddedness.
Mindfulness: refers to being explicitly aware and experientially present to the moment to moment arising and falling of sensations thoughts and feelings.
Another word for mindfulness is ‘meta-awareness’ i.e. the state of being aware that you are aware.
Mentalization: refers to the ability to render your psychological processes in sufficiently clear thoughts and language.
Another word for mentalization is ‘meta-cognition’ i.e. thinking about thinking.
The author posits that mindfulness and mentalization enable us to wriggle out of the cocoon of embeddedness and become the woke, wild and free butterflies we were born to become.
Defenses: refer to the psychological strategies we adopt to protect ourselves from painful thoughts and feelings.
Shame based identifications frequently occur in response to developmental trauma.
In other words: if you are abused and neglected as a young person, it is common to adopt the distorted belief that there is something fundamentally bad, broken or unlovable about you.
Conversely, pride based counter identifications, and other similar defenses such as resistance and denial function to protect against shame based identifications.
In other words: sometimes people compensate for feelings of inadequacy or shame by adopting an equally distorted opposite posture.
You know how some people secretly feel deeply ashamed, so they tell them selves that they are better than other people, so that they don’t have to feel awful?
You know, all those other people who do that?
Anyway.....
Enactments: (or re-enactments) refer to the ways that our defenses and attachment dynamics play out in relationships with others.
Everyone has had encounters with others that feel strangely tense, or unconscious, or straightjacketed.
Like you’re on tracks, or playing out some kind of invisible emotional script.
According to Wallin (and he’s dead on) enactments happen between therapists and clients (like literally all the damn time).
Corrective Experiences: refer to events in therapy, in which the client experiences a new, healthier, more spontaneous, more authentic way of being in relationship.
Corrective Experiences can eventually transform the way the the client feels and thinks about themselves.
Perhaps more importantly, corrective experiences can transform the clients way of being in relationships.
According to Wallin, providing corrective experiences is the point of relational psychotherapy, and an explicit mindful awareness, and clear mentalization of attachment dynamics on the part of the therapist is the key.
When the therapist is either unaware that an enactment is occurring, or unable/unwilling to skillfully guide the relationship out of the enactment and back into the realm of authentic spontaneity, than we are at risk of giving the client the same, repetitive, reinforcing, or even wounding experience they have with everyone else.
Consequently, we will fail to provide the corrective experience they are coming to therapy for.
And our clients don’t need to pay someone for that.
There’s plenty of that out there for them, delivered free of charge.
We need to provide them with something different.
And the book speaks beautifully on precisely that subject.
Even if you’re throughly educated to all of the above concepts (as am I), you will still find high value in the clarity, insight and skill that Wallin employs in his explanations, explorations and case study examples.
In closing:
If I have somehow failed to convey that this is a great book, I have failed you.
This is a crucial read.
Whether your a therapist or another kind of curious reader. Definitely give this book a go.
Bonus Material:
John Bowlby is the progenitor attachment theory. He, along with Marry Ainsworth and later Mary Main are the folks who are primarily responsible for attachment theory in its current form.
Bowlby’s six conditions of attachment focused psychotherapy are as follows:
1. Establish a secure base:
The therapist must create a safe, attuned atmosphere in the therapeutic relationship - first and foremost.
2. Explore the attachment history:
The therapist assists the client in exploring their relationship history, beginning in early life, with the goal of engendering insight and new perspectives.
3. Explore the therapeutic relationship:
The therapist allows for the open exploration of attachment dynamics between themself’s and the client, again, with the goal of increasing insight and eliciting corrective experiences.
4. Link past experiences to present:
The therapist assists the client in identifying presidents for their attachment style, and importantly, how their attachment conditioning effects their current relationships.
5. Revise internal working models:
The therapist explores the conditioned implicit self and relational structures (schema for CBT folks) and assists in restructuring them in the direction of increase secure attachment.
6. Provide a safe haven during times of distress:
The therapist assists the client in co-regulation of difficult feelings, particularly during times of emotional distress.
FIVE HUGE STARS (⭐️x5)
April 27, 2012
I've read well over 100 books around counselling/psychotherapy/psychology/neurobiology/emotional management. In the warm glow of finishing this book and being enormously helped by it, I'm compelled to gush and say that this is the best counselling book I've read so far. Even after I've cooled down and become more critical, it will still easily get into my top 3.
I loved the way it was written - in a warm, personal, engaging style. You feel you get to know the author, David Wallin. And I liked him. What he writes about is based on solid psychological research, but he doesn't bore you with incomprehensible academic jargon. I would recommend it as a serious and helpful introduction to Attachment Theory. He very helpfully links it with contemporary neurobiological research as popularised by Damasio (Descartes Error) & LeDoux (The Emotional Brain). But what really makes this book come alive is the case histories where he shows how he uses these psychological theories to change and improve the lives of people gripped by difficult emotional problems.
I can wholeheartedly recommend this book if you are interested in the dynamics of the therapeutic relationship between counsellor and patient.
I loved the way it was written - in a warm, personal, engaging style. You feel you get to know the author, David Wallin. And I liked him. What he writes about is based on solid psychological research, but he doesn't bore you with incomprehensible academic jargon. I would recommend it as a serious and helpful introduction to Attachment Theory. He very helpfully links it with contemporary neurobiological research as popularised by Damasio (Descartes Error) & LeDoux (The Emotional Brain). But what really makes this book come alive is the case histories where he shows how he uses these psychological theories to change and improve the lives of people gripped by difficult emotional problems.
I can wholeheartedly recommend this book if you are interested in the dynamics of the therapeutic relationship between counsellor and patient.
July 6, 2024
bağlanma biçimlerinden çok daha fazla mindfulnessa yer vermesini enteresan ve bir noktadan sonra gereksiz bulduğum bir kitaptı. bedensel deneyimlerin psikoterapideki rolüyle ilgili kısımları inanılmaz ufuk açıcı buldum, bağlanma ile ilgili ise pek yeni bir şey öğrenemedim. birkaç bölümde "çocuklukta ve psikoterapide" şeklinde giriş yapılması, bu iki sürecin birbirine benzetildiği bağlam çok tatlı geldi bana.
February 5, 2009
This book intimidated me in the beginning, small print, a ton of words per page, etc. I started reading chapters that I thought would most interest me, another error on my part. When I had time I began from the beginning and Wallin took me on an unforgettable journey. The author brings the reader up to speed on the history of attachment theory which prepares one for where he will take you. With an engaging writing style he applies attachment theory to the psychotherapy process. He doesn't try to sell the reader on any one type of therapeutic approach he masterfully helps you understand that attachment issues may be alive and well in many of the clients we work with. As I continued on this journey my positive impression of the book only increased. As I thumb back through the pages there are underlines and markings on nearly every page. From my perspective this is a must read text for those who have found or are searching for the deeper levels of understanding in the therapeutic process both for the client and therapist. Many popular therapeutic approaches attempt to simplify the process and many of us are left wanting. Wallin explores areas of therapy that can truly be healing for all involved. An appropriate level of theory and research is combined with important application making for a book satisfying to read. Highly recommended.
February 28, 2025
I’m studying to be a psychotherapist, and have seen a lot of study books. This one is the best thusfar! Besides that it contains a lot of useful information, insights and examplary therapeutic conversation, it also scratches an itch I’ve personally had for a while. Personally, I’m interested in mindfulness and Vipassana meditation. I’ve been struggling to integrate it into my practice as a psychotherapist. Mostly because in psychotherapy it often seems like you build and construct and alter personality and have more insight in the way you are as a person. But with mindfullness progress is more in the direction of the insight that there is nothing concrete at the core of your self. I’ve experienced that as well but could not find a way to make it applicable. And I found that so confusing. I thought maybe one of the theories must be false. But this book made it all clear to me, and inspired me in such a way that I want to practice more and embed all the lessons of this book in my work and daily life as well.
October 1, 2007
great tool for understanding attachment and it's effect on parenting, childhood, and relationships. not as verbose or detailed as fonagy, but presents the basics of attachment theory well and in a way that is easily understood.
June 26, 2011
The book you need if you are trying to use attachment theory to shape how you think of being a therapist. Not the fastest, simplest or most fun read, but important, nonetheless.
December 23, 2020
My intention of reading this book was to answer the following:
“I’d want people to have healthy internal life (heart), healthy view of self (how people view themselves), healthy view of others with proper boundaries, provide healthy source of stable relationship for others.”
Key Idea: Attachments are formed early from childhood. There’s various types of attachments. People are affected later in life due to issues in attachment. While some get to reflect, understand, and are aware of their styles.
Why do you need to care? This vividly affects people's relationships. People might even pass to next generation, if they are not aware. David goes into internal working models, and details. When people are not aware of it, what can they do about it?
What kind of Issues? People have issues in attachment, friends might suddenly go cold, spouses might withdraw, children rebel, co-workers, parents distant. Now, the book goes into details of attachment styles.
How do we solve it? John says, We provide stable, secure, relationship to others. This includes no-judgement, complete acceptance of the other person, care for them. In addition to this, We can frame our narratives in a positive, supportive way contingent upon, one's worldview. John specifically talks about therapist relationships.
What the Book does not offer? The Book did not talk about narratives that people tell themselves or to their own heart. My own thought was, that made big impact on each person's lives.
Imagine people living in honor-shame, fear-power, guilt-law cultural lens of the World. I am not sure how this would apply for people in Middle-East, Asia, Japan et cetera. Culturally, they are on a different spectrum? And so, how does John Bowly approach them? No research from that parts of the world.
I was wondering -- there's many approaches one could take for subjective internal state. John Bowly goes into one aspect of Buddhism, Mindfulness.
If you adhere a theistic flavor of life, you can blend insights from your tradition into this. I am unsure of non-theistic side, because, subjective experience seems to be made up of values, beliefs, how people view the world. However, I would caution not to have a simplistic way of it. Eg: My theistic flavors says to read this, believe in this, and voila magic! Probably not sure.
One example, I can think would be -- William James's work, The Varieties of Religious Experience, maybe subjective experience. Apparently, William James helped himself, through finding meaning in a belief system. Perhaps, that is relevant there?
How much time would this take? 2-3 days
I’d advise many people to stay away from shallow self-help books-- Why? Because, it's best to read core-founders of knowledge-base, so people can assimilate, synthesize concepts.
A Good quote from the book,
". . the therapist’s role is analogous to that of a mother who provides her child with a secure base from which to explore the world. " —JOHN BOWLBY
As I wrote earlier, I think based on your school of thought, or tradition, you can integrate key ideas and practice this.
The Book provides technical base, research for attachment theory is excellent, well-written with rigorous research, and credibility. I'd say, this is abstract, would give a framework for you to view attachment in relationships.
I’d recommend this for everyone. It’s good to read this, to define, understand, how people relate to each other, their attachment styles.
Deus Vult,
Gottfried
“I’d want people to have healthy internal life (heart), healthy view of self (how people view themselves), healthy view of others with proper boundaries, provide healthy source of stable relationship for others.”
Key Idea: Attachments are formed early from childhood. There’s various types of attachments. People are affected later in life due to issues in attachment. While some get to reflect, understand, and are aware of their styles.
Why do you need to care? This vividly affects people's relationships. People might even pass to next generation, if they are not aware. David goes into internal working models, and details. When people are not aware of it, what can they do about it?
What kind of Issues? People have issues in attachment, friends might suddenly go cold, spouses might withdraw, children rebel, co-workers, parents distant. Now, the book goes into details of attachment styles.
How do we solve it? John says, We provide stable, secure, relationship to others. This includes no-judgement, complete acceptance of the other person, care for them. In addition to this, We can frame our narratives in a positive, supportive way contingent upon, one's worldview. John specifically talks about therapist relationships.
What the Book does not offer? The Book did not talk about narratives that people tell themselves or to their own heart. My own thought was, that made big impact on each person's lives.
Imagine people living in honor-shame, fear-power, guilt-law cultural lens of the World. I am not sure how this would apply for people in Middle-East, Asia, Japan et cetera. Culturally, they are on a different spectrum? And so, how does John Bowly approach them? No research from that parts of the world.
I was wondering -- there's many approaches one could take for subjective internal state. John Bowly goes into one aspect of Buddhism, Mindfulness.
If you adhere a theistic flavor of life, you can blend insights from your tradition into this. I am unsure of non-theistic side, because, subjective experience seems to be made up of values, beliefs, how people view the world. However, I would caution not to have a simplistic way of it. Eg: My theistic flavors says to read this, believe in this, and voila magic! Probably not sure.
One example, I can think would be -- William James's work, The Varieties of Religious Experience, maybe subjective experience. Apparently, William James helped himself, through finding meaning in a belief system. Perhaps, that is relevant there?
How much time would this take? 2-3 days
I’d advise many people to stay away from shallow self-help books-- Why? Because, it's best to read core-founders of knowledge-base, so people can assimilate, synthesize concepts.
A Good quote from the book,
". . the therapist’s role is analogous to that of a mother who provides her child with a secure base from which to explore the world. " —JOHN BOWLBY
As I wrote earlier, I think based on your school of thought, or tradition, you can integrate key ideas and practice this.
The Book provides technical base, research for attachment theory is excellent, well-written with rigorous research, and credibility. I'd say, this is abstract, would give a framework for you to view attachment in relationships.
I’d recommend this for everyone. It’s good to read this, to define, understand, how people relate to each other, their attachment styles.
Deus Vult,
Gottfried
Read
August 18, 2012This is the most important book I've read in graduate school, and it was not a required text. I can't recommend it enough for anyone interested in Attachment Theory, both the science around it and it's clinical applications. It sort of rocked my world!
October 28, 2018
This is one of the best psychotherapy texts I have read. It was validating as a clinician to hear about his experiences with rupture and repair. The book contains practical and applicable advice for clinicians to take care both of their internal worlds as well as the therapeutic relationship. It encourages to dig a bit deeper and to face the fear that a client may be displeased with therapy or angry as the therapist, and helps re-frame this as an opportunity for deepening both the therapeutic work and the relationship itself.
May 23, 2020
Buenísimo resumen de la teoría del apego, desde Bowlby, Ainsworth, Main, Fonagy... Con sus escenas de su propia práctica clínica y el análisis de las mismas se nota que el autor pone su corazón en esto, se lo arranca y lo muestra en público mientras se desangra.
No puedo con el mindfulness, esa parte me ha dado más pereza. Pero lo compenetra bastante bien con el tema de la mentalización, así que no fue tan arduo.
No puedo con el mindfulness, esa parte me ha dado más pereza. Pero lo compenetra bastante bien con el tema de la mentalización, así que no fue tan arduo.
December 22, 2015
I have been a DBT and trauma therapist for 11 years. I found Attachment in Psychotherapy to be one of the best books I have read on attachment. It tells you clinically what to do with clients and how to do it--step by step. I have read many books on attachment and went an attachment disorder conference in LA in May 2015. It didn't cover anything like this. I made notes all over the book, wrote client names and tips in a separate notebook, literally was using the book within the first week I started reading it. I took so long to read it because I treated it like a college course. I even looked up Wallin conferences to consider in 2016.
So, why only 4 stars? Because I couldn't make it 4.5. The last 15 or so pages--they just seemed too enmeshed for me. As a therapist, I felt there was just a hint of too much David and it overshadowed the client. I realize he was telling us his side as a therapist and being very vulnerable with us in admitting so much of his internal dialogue. He is in private practice. I just don't see that level of disclosure being feasible or appropriate within a state agency or federal job.
This' top notch work. I'd give it an 80% with the level of therapy speak/jargon. You can get through it pretty well. (I already admitted I've been trained in DBT--you have to simultaneously translate that in your head as you study.) The man cares about his clients and knows his stuff.
An excellent book and why aren't they teaching us this in graduate school?
So, why only 4 stars? Because I couldn't make it 4.5. The last 15 or so pages--they just seemed too enmeshed for me. As a therapist, I felt there was just a hint of too much David and it overshadowed the client. I realize he was telling us his side as a therapist and being very vulnerable with us in admitting so much of his internal dialogue. He is in private practice. I just don't see that level of disclosure being feasible or appropriate within a state agency or federal job.
This' top notch work. I'd give it an 80% with the level of therapy speak/jargon. You can get through it pretty well. (I already admitted I've been trained in DBT--you have to simultaneously translate that in your head as you study.) The man cares about his clients and knows his stuff.
An excellent book and why aren't they teaching us this in graduate school?
July 12, 2018
I only give this 3-stars because much of it was just too clinical for me. Maybe I need to read the hardcopy rather than listen to the audio only. I had a difficult time grasping and practical applications of the premise and concepts introduced in this book. I'm still struggling with what exactly 'mentalizing' means. I hope to read an - attachment theory for the layman - type book next, maybe that will help.
However my daughter recommended Attachment in Psychotherapy to me saying it was one of the most eye opening books she ever read about "how I got where I am developmentally and has helped me reframe for my [son]". Huh. Ok, anything that sheds new light or gives my children another perspective that helps them feel better about their own lives is great in my book!
However my daughter recommended Attachment in Psychotherapy to me saying it was one of the most eye opening books she ever read about "how I got where I am developmentally and has helped me reframe for my [son]". Huh. Ok, anything that sheds new light or gives my children another perspective that helps them feel better about their own lives is great in my book!
January 29, 2008
An exceptional synopsis of attachment theory and general approach to applying it in therapy. A must read for psychologists.
February 18, 2024
Every bit as powerful as the top reviews suggest! Provides incredibly valuable information while avoiding psychobabble.
I listened to the audiobook and was blown away by the multitude of complex ideas broken down simply by the author; I hope to return and visually read again soon, as I know there was a lot of information I would like to soak in more slowly.
Highly recommend to any therapist who ever has felt stuck or helpless, confused or disoriented, annoyed or afraid, grandiose or incompetent in their work (hopefully we are being honest about the fact that that pretty much covers all of us) :D
A good read for non-therapists who are unfamiliar with and interested in learning about what a psychodynamic approach to therapy might look like.
I listened to the audiobook and was blown away by the multitude of complex ideas broken down simply by the author; I hope to return and visually read again soon, as I know there was a lot of information I would like to soak in more slowly.
Highly recommend to any therapist who ever has felt stuck or helpless, confused or disoriented, annoyed or afraid, grandiose or incompetent in their work (hopefully we are being honest about the fact that that pretty much covers all of us) :D
A good read for non-therapists who are unfamiliar with and interested in learning about what a psychodynamic approach to therapy might look like.
April 18, 2021
Great book, not an easy reading- definitely, but totally worth it in order to clarify the attachment concept and their role in therapy
September 6, 2023
O carte pe care fiecare specialist in psihoterapie ar trebui sa o citeasca.
July 2, 2021
An impactful four stars.
July 25, 2025
Świetna!
rozdziały III - V żałuję że nie przeczytałam parę lat temu, oświetliłyby pierwsze czasy w pracy
rozdziały III - V żałuję że nie przeczytałam parę lat temu, oświetliłyby pierwsze czasy w pracy
June 24, 2020
My first attempt to read about attachment psychotherapy. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but by no means distance or unrelatable. It was nice learning the different attachment style with examples from Dr David J Wallin. I love how he talks about his experience with different patients too which gave a little understanding of how a therapy session works :)
I get to know more about myself and learn to have a more empathetic heart towards people in general. The book provides categories that allow us to better categorise and maneuvre the world. As a person that is doing a lot of catching up and need books to guide me through life. I would say that this is a MUST read because even the most secure of us all will most likely have some unresolved events happen at any point in our life that may affect us greatly.
My favourite take away is Dr David's belief that people heal through relationships, as a client and therapist relationship is also a relationship even if it seems artificial. (pls correct me if I am wrong) and the way to get more secure is through sensitivity
I get to know more about myself and learn to have a more empathetic heart towards people in general. The book provides categories that allow us to better categorise and maneuvre the world. As a person that is doing a lot of catching up and need books to guide me through life. I would say that this is a MUST read because even the most secure of us all will most likely have some unresolved events happen at any point in our life that may affect us greatly.
My favourite take away is Dr David's belief that people heal through relationships, as a client and therapist relationship is also a relationship even if it seems artificial. (pls correct me if I am wrong) and the way to get more secure is through sensitivity
July 19, 2020
This is an excellent book about attachment theory and how it relates to therapy work. I learned a great deal about how this works. The main ideas I take away are how “mentalization” and “mindfulness” interact and how they can be combined to use as a powerful tool for mental wellbeing.
I feel the book is geared towards, or more useful for practicing therapists or psychology professionals, so being neither one of those (other than curious on the subject), a lot of the more “technical”, and clinical/psychology field ideas were hard for me to relate or transfer to my life experience. Nevertheless a big resource for anyone interested on knowing more about attachment theory and how psychological therapy works and how it can helps anyone live a better life.
I feel the book is geared towards, or more useful for practicing therapists or psychology professionals, so being neither one of those (other than curious on the subject), a lot of the more “technical”, and clinical/psychology field ideas were hard for me to relate or transfer to my life experience. Nevertheless a big resource for anyone interested on knowing more about attachment theory and how psychological therapy works and how it can helps anyone live a better life.
February 2, 2018
Very clear and authoritative but overall a bit dull, it sort of put me off attachment theory - I recognise its vital contribution to understanding clients but it doesn't account for the wonderful richness and contradictory nature of human personality and experience. That is not the fault of the book itself of course.
October 17, 2008
This is an outstanding collection by the main thinkers in Attachment Theory and a must reference for anyone working in the field. It is not always easy reading but a more overall coverage of the subect from start to present will be hard to find.
November 5, 2008
This book speaks to the process of psychotherapy and how it can heal trauma through an attachment relationship in ways nothing I have ever seen before does. It is remarkable.
January 27, 2009
very readable....if one is interested in learning more about the difficulties that inevitably occur in intimate relationships.
May 2, 2013
An absolute must-read for anyone in the psyc industry. How to use attachment therapy in your practice.
October 15, 2015
Extremely useful.
February 28, 2018
Not bad, but less on attachment than I expected. Much on mindfulness. As as mindfulness book, it is just mediocre.
April 24, 2022
Definitely will be an all-time favourite for me. One cannot be untouched by this book.
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