Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment, and Fear

by Claudia Black

In Changing Course —now fully revised and updated—Claudia Black extends a helping hand to anyone overcoming the complex trauma of growing up in an impaired family system. Don't talk. Don't trust. Don't feel. Being raised in a dysfunctional family system, whether unpredictable and chaotic or overly rigid and joyless, can set the course for chronic emotional pain in adulthood. Changing Course is a gentle, affirming guide to healing from childhood experiences of loss, abandonment, fear, and shame. Through carefully crafted questions, charts, exercises, and real-life stories of people impacted by various types of family impairment, Dr. Black skillfully presents an interactive process of healing from childhood wounds. You will learn four essential steps you can use to let go of old hurtful beliefs and behaviors and develop new skills for both redefining self and negotiating relationships.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Unfinished

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 28, 1993

About the author

Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D. is a renowned addiction and trauma expert, author, and trainer internationally recognized for her pioneering and contemporary work with family systems and addictive disorders. Dr. Black's passion to help young adults overcome obstacles and strengthen families built the foundation of the Claudia Black Young Adult Center at The Meadows treatment center in Arizona. Not only is Dr. Black the clinical architect of this innovative treatment program, she is also a Senior Fellow at The Meadows. She is the author of sixteen books, most recently Unspoken Legacy and Intimate Treason.

Reviews

[Jithu Anirudhan]

The best way to hug the abandoned inner-child of you - a must read for the unwanted little souls

[Nancy Berg]

Read this in a spiritual book club. Can be intense, very reflective. I got a lot out of this book

[Peggy]

This is a book that was recommended by a psychologist I saw for a while when I went through my divorce. This is the kind of self-help book that one needs to read every couple of years just to re-educate themselves with the various emotions one may feel regarding family, friends, etc. who have abandoned them, as well as understanding the issues from childhood that have affected that. Family history plays such a significant part in the present and it never leaves us, always affects us. This book is a must for understanding that.

[Jennifer Jones]

Yessss! This was the book I was looking for (see past reviews for a couple that didn’t quite hit the mark for me personally). I was looking for something that addressed childhood wounds, but not only within the context of extreme abuse situations. I loved her descriptions of family roles, her inclusion of IFS concepts (such as protector parts) and the last chapters on spirituality.

Some favorite quotes:

“Forgiving is not forgetting. It’s remembering and letting go.”

“Siblings are the witnesses to each other’s shame. In each others presence, we mirror back the hurt, disappointment, fear, anger and shame of our early years. No wonder our contacts are superficial, that helps to avoid remembering our pain.”

“Intimacy is trusting another with who you are without the fear of rejection.”

“It is in the acceptance of all that was and is, that our spirits become whole.”

“We are not in control. I do not depend on others in order to accept myself. When people leave or abandon me, it is not a judgement of my worth.”

“God is always present in the heart. Look within.“

[Sheyna Galyan]

Too much focus on coming from alcoholic parents. Harder to apply it to other backgrounds.

[Sarah]

Even though this book was published decades ago, its message still feels timeless. It carefully explains how people who grew up in troubled families can begin to heal and recover.

Reading it made me want to stop living only by reacting to the people around me and instead focus more on what truly makes me happy. I also want to pay more attention to my own needs and actively put them into practice.

[Skylar MoonStone]

This book goes over how to start to break the cycles of abuse & start healing. Its a brutal look at the early steps, the hard realizations that hit you, & sitting with the fact that you might be loosing loved ones who are threatened by your healing.

[Florian Bögge]

This book is great overview of the whole recovery/healing process. A book that gives hope and also shows clearly where I took shortcuts. It’s written in a way that allows you to just get back into the process. Will recommend for anyone.

[Tian Dayton]

Excellent author and pioneer in ACA issues

[Kristan]

Another one of my bibles. Claudia Black is an authority on healing from dysfunctional childhood drama. Whenever I feel triggered this is another one of my go-to books. If you want to really take responsibility for yourself and move on from a victimhood personna - I highly recommend Claudia Black to help you make sense of your inner demons and put them into true perspective. A++++

[♥ Susan]

Depressing, monotonous ways to avoid healing -- if you believe in spiritual healing vs ruminating on every miserable detail of your history. Some may enjoy.. but I strongly disliked almost every aspect of it.

[Jessica Gray]

Everyone has something they need to heal from....

[Elizabeth Black]

Good read for anyone who struggles with overcoming trauma from their childhood. Found some good nuggets of wisdom to use in my recovery.