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In Search of Ethel Cartwright

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Norman Cartwright, an eighty-six-year-old man living in the small seaside town of Clacton, Essex, has kept his cross-dressing a secret his entire life. A trucker by trade, his lipstick and wigs were donned only in the lonely confines of his lorry, as he sat in lay-bys and drove along empty roads on long trips away from his wife and children. After years of judgement, abuse and fear, Norman no longer knows how to embrace this side of himself, or if anyone would accept him if he did . . .

When his teenage granddaughter, Florence, turns up unannounced, it's obvious that she, too, has secrets she's not yet willing to share. As they grow closer, however, the truth bubbles free and life starts to change in profound and unexpected ways, both for them and everyone around them.

In Search of Ethel Cartwright is a moving story of family, love and courage that reminds us of the importance of being true to ourselves.

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 7, 2024

3 people are currently reading
237 people want to read

About the author

Tom Winter

5 books20 followers
Tom Winter is a British writer living in Berlin. His work has been published in five languages. The hardback edition of his fourth book, In Search of Ethel Cartwright, will be published in 2024 by Corsair, an imprint of Little, Brown. The paperback will follow in 2025.

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5 stars
25 (33%)
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28 (37%)
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21 (28%)
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
Profile Image for Bree.
103 reviews8 followers
January 23, 2025
A sweet and endearing insight into cross dressing OAP Norman’s life. With the arrival of granddaughter Florence on Norman’s doorstep, we go through Norman’s coming out to various characters in his life and I felt this was an enjoyable storyline. I feel the story attempted to bash down some stereotypes and on the whole this was successful. On reflection I was expecting to learn more about Florence and felt we were a little shortchanged on that one.
Norman was a great character and I enjoyed the portrayal of an older straight man starting to live his best life in lipstick and a dress!
Profile Image for Alex.
124 reviews2 followers
May 9, 2024
Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

5⭐

Wow, I definitely did not pick up this book expecting it to be such a gem. It's not perfect, but I think that it deserves this score because it's really close to it (I rarely rate fiction books so high, but this one really hit). This novel will stay on my mind for long, it's fantastic.

😍 The good:
The characters were lovable and the story was wholesome: it's never too late to be yourself and get close with the ones you fell apart from. It's a story of time and changes, of confidence, of connection, of grief but also of acceptance. This also felt like a feminist book written by a man, and a great one from that perspective!

I really liked the style, not too simple but not too flowery either, and to me it really reflected the British vibes. The metaphors and poetic elements illustrate the great writing, but also key elements from the story. The dark humour was easy to catch and fit the novel. The title seems also simple, but so relevant to the story.

😅 The not-so-good:
The book was indeed a bit slow at times, but not in a really bothersome way to me. It was also a bit on the shorter side, so it did not get to delve more into other characters' backgrounds. I wish that the blurb told less about what the story is about (it felt a bit like a spoiler), but I also understand why it has to drop the key idea of the story, otherwise it would be rather ambiguous.

📜 Some nice quotes:
"It takes a real man to dress like a woman."

"Imagine, some people go to their graves having only lived the lives other people chose for them."

"He continued flicking from page to page, every flower a reminder that we must each decide what's important to us and then treasure those things for as long as they're within reach."

"Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't. All that matters is what you do with the day."
Profile Image for Katy Kelly.
2,560 reviews105 followers
March 9, 2024
Softly-spoken but growing fiercer, follows a path you find familiar but still inspiring.

I've tried to branch out and read outside my 'sexuality' in the last few years, trying to understand the experiences and lives of others - what the magic of books can really do for you.

Here I found a story I'd seen in other iterations, but lovingly created into an inspiring Older Person story about finally accepting and celebrating who you are, and proudly being that person.

Norman is 86, his wife of sixty years has died, his children aren't in touch, he lives a quiet life of neighbour visits and canned beef stews. This is stirred up by the arrival of his colourful-haired physiccs-student granddaughter, who soon learns that the family secret of 'Grandad's woman' that he must have been seeing when he worked as a lorry driver all his wife was not in fact another woman - it was him. Norman was Ethel, only letting this side of himself out away from his home and family and certain shame and disgrace. But Florence, being of a new generation, is determined to not let this lie and does her best to bring both her family together and her grandfather out of his personal closet.

A story of a hidden personal history in times of social change, when sexual proclivities would have been more than tutted at.

It's lovely to see connection between generations, even if Florence does seem 'wise beyond her years' at times. Norman's secret self is one the reader may not personally understand but all of us understand hiding secrets that we feel will bring disgrace on ourselves or those we love, of keeping things back from those we love and having to live with the consequences... or be brave and let what will happen, happen.

A very enjoyable story with two nicely matched characters, and all the mixed-up problems of modern living and families.

With thanks to Netgalley for providing a sample reading copy.
Profile Image for Olivia.
273 reviews13 followers
February 11, 2024
A partially successful attempt at a heartwarming story. Norman's joy of crossdressing was really sweet and I loved his character development throughout the book. However, the choice of narrative voices was questionable as the writing made it pretty obvious the author was neither an 86-year-old man nor a teenage girl. Florence felt like a mouthpiece for social justice and the lack of subtlety made it jarring to read; moreover, the whole point of her character was to encourage Norman's own growth, which I didn't enjoy.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for providing a copy for review. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Beachcomber.
874 reviews29 followers
January 30, 2024
This is a heartwarming, funny and thoughtful story of cross dressing Norman/Ethel Cartwright learning to be themself at 86, when their granddaughter Florence comes to visit. I fell in love with all three characters, and ended up highlighting several sections which really stood out to me. It’s a shorter novel with such an easy flow and writing style, that I read this in 2 days. And I’d recommend it to anyone who needs a literary hug and reminder to accept ourselves and others.

I received a free ARC copy of this via NetGalley and the publishers in return for an unbiased review.
Profile Image for Chrys.
1,225 reviews14 followers
February 28, 2024
A lovely feel good story about how it’s never too late to be true to yourself and find happiness.
I enjoyed this, it had a really positive message and I liked the characters. It was a light read even though it dealt with a difficult subject, and I thought that the author did a good job of keeping the balance between how different things used to be and how difficult change can be, even for those who want it most.
Profile Image for mavis.
37 reviews
April 24, 2024
2.75 - Hmm. It was okay, but not amazing and could have been more emotive. The characters were a bit bland
Profile Image for Hannah Wilkinson.
510 reviews86 followers
March 7, 2024
Firstly, full marks for colour scheme. When this dropped into my post-box courtesy of Little Brown Book Group I did a happy little pink and green scream. And what a wholesome, heart-warming read this was! I read it in one long night-shift at work, it was easy to read, with a straightforward writing style but still with some thought-provoking themes to get your teeth into.

It tells the story of Norman Cartwright and his granddaughter Florence, they have not been close for a number of years and so when he returns home one day to find her sitting on his doorstep he is surprised, even more so when she says she has come to stay with him to try to reconnect. It is during her time with him by the seaside that they both learn a lot about each other, and Florence helps Norman to feel confident enough in himself to be able to explore his alter-ego, Ethel.

What you see is what you get with this one, all of the above is told to us on the back of the blurb, and there are no major twists or surprises. But I actually quite enjoyed that comfortable feeling, there were flashbacks to Norman's past which explain his feelings and the fractured relationship with his family and I liked getting to see those glimpses into him as a younger man, they really made him feel fleshed out as a character, I could maybe have done with a little more of Florence's story but I guess she wasn't the main character so that's why it wasn't as necessary. There is a little problematic language but only within the context of Norman's age and it is addressed through his dynamic with Florence so I could understand it's inclusion. There were a few teary moments for me and the message of living your best life whilst you can really resonated with me.
Profile Image for Zoe Hopkins.
177 reviews6 followers
August 31, 2024
This book felt like a huge hug. It was so wholesome and I absolutely love an old vs young character dynamic. Florence and Norman are reunited when she turns up at his house and announces she is staying. Opening up a whole new relationship and attempting to fix some old ones.

Norman was a wonderful character, I personally loved his grumpy tendencies and he reminded me of my Grandad in certain ways. The use of some language is not acceptable but the author uses this in order to show different perspectives and generations I believe and I have to say, I thought this was done well. I liked that Norman’s unacceptable phrases and language were quickly corrected by Florence, and it built an even stronger storyline of how times have changed over the years. I could feel the delight in Norman jumping off the page whenever he transformed into Ethel and become more comfortable within himself. Although, before we get to this stage one part of the book broke my heart and it reminded me how cruel human beings can be, so I like that Tom kept the story believable even though it made me want to bawl.

Alongside Norman and Florence there are an abundance of characters that I feel everyone has had in their life at some point. I know the exact person I would have to play Sally the nosey neighbour if this was based on people I know lol.

In Search of Ethel Cartwright definitely reminds us that we never know what’s going on in someone’s life, to always be kind and it’s never too late to be the real you.
Profile Image for Annie.
921 reviews13 followers
March 21, 2024



I suppose this is a book about the fluidity of gender and the attitudes about cross dressing, transgender and homosexuality across the last 70 years or so. Florence turns up at her grandfather's house unexpectedly and together they start to get to know each other better than they have in the past. Norman, her grandfather, is a secret cross dresser, always wanting to express the feminine side of himself, but never being able to do that with family or acquaintances. Florence is really the catalyst to him letting himself show more of his alter ego, Ethel.
The plot is sweet and fairly predictable, but with flashbacks does document the acceptance (or not) of different gender and/or sexuality types in the UK since the 1950s. There is plenty of humour too which added to the enjoyment and the writing definately documents the British style of not talking about important issues (especially not with family) and the fall out this can cause
I liked the main characters very much and would have liked a little more exploration of family relationships, communication and how they are moving on. The book felt a little unfinished, but may be that was the intention!
Thanks to Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review


Profile Image for Andrew.
28 reviews1 follower
May 20, 2024
4 1/2 stars - Things seem to resolve a little too easily given the issues at play, but this book doesn't try to make a grandstand so this is acceptable.

Wow. I absolutely devoured this book.


Mr Winters shows us it's never too late to become the person we want to be and all it can take is one person who can believe in you.

I genuinely laughed and cried more than once reading this book.

Norman is flawed and it really helps me connect with his growth. They go from a depressing wet blanket to a vibrant and confident man who knows exactly who he is.

I did also enjoy Florence, but I feel she lacked a little in character development.

Can't recommend this book enough if you just want to feel fuzzy.
Profile Image for Claire.
162 reviews2 followers
February 26, 2024
I found this a moving and charming novel that deals really sensitively with cross dressing and family secrets. I really felt for Norman and his fractured family, seperated by secrets none of them acknowledge, that is until Florence decides she wants to reconnect with her grandfather. Their relationship was wonderful, so caring and respectful of each other, they both bloomed as they got to know each other again.

The novel shows the historical consequences of being part of the lgbtq+ community and how it wasn't so easy to be your true self. I really liked that this novel deals with friendships and love of friends that support and accept each other rather than being about a sexual or romantic relationship as this is something I've not read much about before. A really heart warming read.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
778 reviews12 followers
March 22, 2024
I would like to thank the author, the publisher and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read an ARC of this book. I really enjoyed this book, it had great characters and a lovely story that made me laugh and cry.
Profile Image for Treena.
129 reviews1 follower
June 2, 2024
Age should never be the reason why we dont change and this book really tries to showcase that.
An easy read about a 86 year old coming to terms with his life as a hidden crossdresser with the help of his granddaughter.
Profile Image for Annarella.
14.2k reviews166 followers
June 18, 2024
I smiled, I cried buckets, rooted for these two underdogs and their relationship.
Well plotted, great characters and excellent storytelling.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Profile Image for Glaucia.
65 reviews1 follower
March 25, 2024
I can’t say I cared for the characters when I started, but I fell in love with Norman and Florence throughout the book. It is such a heartwarming story and super wholesome.
Profile Image for Megz.
341 reviews48 followers
March 21, 2024
I actually can’t believe that this delightful book has so few reviews. I loved it so much - even with a gripe or two.

In Search of Ethel Cartwright features a bit of a grumpy old man, Norman Cartwright, whose life is upended when his long-lost granddaughter shows up at his front door. Looking to discover the secrets that have torn her family apart, she discovers her granddad’s long-hidden secret: he loves to cross-dress, and his alter-ego is named Ethel Cartwright.

There is so much to unpack in the book that, although addressing very big issues, is actually quite light (and intellectual, and funny). It pulls at the heartstrings when it painfully exposes the damage of having to live a secret life. I love the nuanced relationships. Norman dearly misses his late wife, but also recognises the damage she did by not learning more about his cross-dressing, and rather forcing him to hide that part of him. His introspection into blame - acknowledging both her part, his part, and history’s part - is commendable.

Although this is fiction, it does touch on the important distinction between drag, queerness, and transness. It shows where these communities intersect, and where they do not. It also, importantly, shows just how often marginalised groups have left one another in the lurch. In Norman’s past, his community felt it important to note that they were “normal” - not one of “those” men (not gay, and not trans). At the same time, we know that gay and lesbian communities have at times excluded the trans community. So I think it is important to acknowledge that.

Like a good British comedy, a few characters are stereotypes, like Sally, the nosey neighbour - and I am here for it. It would be remiss for the author not to include a character that is nose-in-the-air and finds it difficult to accept/understand.

Florence, the granddaughter, is delightful. Perhaps I identify with her because I have such a close relationship with my grandma. Someone has mentioned she does seem too “wise for her years” - that said, I know from my student days that people tend to underestimate what students understand. I did feel that Florence was a little idealistic about Norman being “himself” in public. Many times Norman said, “it’s not that easy,” and I do agree with that. I fully support Norman, but I just felt that Florence (like many cis people) lacked insight into the dangers people face when they embrace different gender identities.

I loved the gentle portrayal of people nearing the end of their lives, and their day to day activities. I would love more books from this POV, especially featuring grandparent/grandkid relationships.

A content warning that this book has an incident of violence against an elderly and cross-dressing person.

Thank you to Netgalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for providing an eARC.
Profile Image for Doe Is Reading.
102 reviews4 followers
February 10, 2024
I received this book as an ARC from Netgalley, however all opinions are my own.

How I read this book: eBook

So the reason I wanted to read this book is because I saw the way that it was described on Netgalley and instantly knew that I had to read it so I applied to get it. I am so incredible happy that I did receive this book and I am so shocked about the amount of emotions I felt whilst reading this. This is a beautiful story about an 86 year old crossdressing man who's teenage granddaughter turns up out of the blue to visit him. This was such a heart warming story of Norman coming to be comfortable with himself with the help of his granddaughter. I really like that this book not only is set in the present but has little moments where it flashbacks into the past to give us more detail about the characters we're reading about. This story is so much more than just about Norman and his granddaughter, Florence, but about how things have changed so much between the ages of Norman being a young adult and now, as well as how much things have also stayed the same for some. One thing I will say about this book, is there is some language in it that isn't okay to use in this day and age, however the way it is used is not to be offensive, but in a way to show that Norman is as old as he is and is quickly corrected by his granddaughter, I still found it a little jarring though. I found myself crying both of happy and sad tears throughout this book, and there were so many happy moments that filled my heart with joy. There were also moments which showed people can be cruel, but those were few and far between. If you want a nice little contemporary about a cross dressing grandad coming into his own with the help of his granddaughter please, please pick this up when it comes out! You won't be disappointed!

My Favourite Characters:

- June: June is an amazing side character to this story and I loved her so much. I appreciate the amount of effort she went through to make sure that Norman would be okay.

- Florence: Florence is a beautifully written character and I'm so glad that she was able to help Norman in all the ways that she did as well as finding out the truths for herself.

- Rex: Rex is another amazing side character and I genuinely wish we got a little more of him. I loved the moments we had with him.

My Least Favourite Character:

- Sally: I actually put in my notes "Sally is such a nosey old cow", because that is exactly what she is. She was too much in everyone's business and truly needed to mind her own.

(If you'd like to see more of my reviews please go to my blog:
https://doesden.blogspot.com/)
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