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The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling
Socialization may well be the single most important aspect of education today. With high and rising rates of divorce, drug abuse, youth violence, alcoholism, teen promiscuity, and so forth, we cannot afford to let this issue go unexamined.To cling to the idea that what we, as a culture, are doing now is the right and best way for all children simply because it is what we are used to is to shut our eyes and minds to other possibilities-possibilities that may well afford greater happiness, success, peace, and safety to our own children.At a time when people feel more disconnected than ever before, we cannot afford to overlook or allow ourselves to be blinded to an option which offers great benefits, including a rich, fulfilling, and healthy social life, that our children may well need for the future. Homeschooling offers great social benefits to kids and parents. And when we understand them, our children are the ones who will win.
240 pages, Paperback
First published July 30, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 88 reviews
February 26, 2009
I was looking forward to this book, but it was really disappointing. The problem was that the author set her sights too low. The point--that homeschooled kids aren't just a bunch of hermits, and that socialization can happen without school--was pretty easy to establish, and then after that was done the author just kept running around in circles. There were lots of laundry lists, some as long as most of a full page, enumerating all the things a homeschooled child could do other than sit at home. There was a "trying too hard" chapter on multiculturalism and "exposing your child to diversity." (Sounds like something for the "Things White People Like" blog.) Over and over again we're reassured that homeschoolers won't just be adequately prepared for "real life," they will be more prepared for "real life" than kids who go to school, because homeschooling is more like "real life" and thus "real life" will be a piece of cake for homeschoolers. This repetitive overcompensation really started to grate after not too long, as did the repeated assurances that homeschooled kids could have lots and lots of friends and lots and lots of activities. I had figured out on my own that I could enroll my kids in music classes and join youth groups; I was hoping this book would tell me something a little less obvious. It did not. When she got to the chapter on being "cool" she lost me entirely. "Cool" is not something to aspire to, it's a marketing trick nicked off the 1960s counterculture. I just wanted to say "grow up already!" It's not bad to be serious, to be adult, and to not be "cool."
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February 2, 2020Preface -- Hardest thing about discussing homeschooling with others is the "socialization" question, which has as its subtext the assumption that you are handicapping your children by keeping them out of school.
- First the book discusses what homeschooling generally is, and how it's generally not kids sitting at desks learning from their mother standing at a chalkboard, but more varied, social and out-of-the-house.
- "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -- Krishnamurti (this reminds me of something Sartre wrote "The sane man is the man who acts insane in an insane society.")
- After "better education" the primary reason given for homeschooling is "family unity"
- Homeschooled kids spend less time with kids in the same age group and more time with people of different ages.
- Psychologists say that large quantities of random exposure to peers that is not balanced with adequate contact, guidance and relationship with adults is unhealthy and a likely cause of high rates of drug use, suicide, crime, etc.
- "An hour with friends is worth ten with strangers." - Chinese fortune cookie
- John Dewey, probably the most influential educational thinker of the 20th century, said that school has become artificially removed and separated from society to the extent that it is "the one place in the world where it is most difficult to get experience."
- p. 78 "I just feel like our life is so much more nourishing in each and every way. The way our family is together and the way we celebrate the seasons together, and it all just weaves together. We have this life now, where before we had more of an existence I would say, and a lot of shuttling here and there, maintenance type activities. Now it's time to get dressed, now it's time to do this...and now it's just like we have this -- we just have this life-- I don't know how to describe it. (Anne, homeschooling mother of two)
- First the book discusses what homeschooling generally is, and how it's generally not kids sitting at desks learning from their mother standing at a chalkboard, but more varied, social and out-of-the-house.
- "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -- Krishnamurti (this reminds me of something Sartre wrote "The sane man is the man who acts insane in an insane society.")
- After "better education" the primary reason given for homeschooling is "family unity"
- Homeschooled kids spend less time with kids in the same age group and more time with people of different ages.
- Psychologists say that large quantities of random exposure to peers that is not balanced with adequate contact, guidance and relationship with adults is unhealthy and a likely cause of high rates of drug use, suicide, crime, etc.
- "An hour with friends is worth ten with strangers." - Chinese fortune cookie
- John Dewey, probably the most influential educational thinker of the 20th century, said that school has become artificially removed and separated from society to the extent that it is "the one place in the world where it is most difficult to get experience."
- p. 78 "I just feel like our life is so much more nourishing in each and every way. The way our family is together and the way we celebrate the seasons together, and it all just weaves together. We have this life now, where before we had more of an existence I would say, and a lot of shuttling here and there, maintenance type activities. Now it's time to get dressed, now it's time to do this...and now it's just like we have this -- we just have this life-- I don't know how to describe it. (Anne, homeschooling mother of two)
May 4, 2008
I gave this book only 3 stars because I already knew everything mentioned in it (because I'm already a homeschooler). If you are thinking about homeschooling or if you are "concerned" about a loved one's decision to homeschool (because of "social" reasons), then this book would be great for you to read! The beginning is a little drawn out and I wish she would have just gone on with her research and facts rather than give a summary at first. It also seemed like she was repeating herself a lot or referring to future chapters a lot. I do think this book could have been a little shorter, if all of the nonsense was taken out. However, this book DOES make a wonderful point and DOES stand up for all homeschoolers and answers the question "What about socialization?" I did like how the author interviewed several different homeschooling families. She quotes the children and adults through-out the entire book, which is interesting.
July 7, 2010
LOVED this book. Anyone unwilling or hesitant to homeschool because of the fear that their kids will lack in social skills MUST read this book. It tackles all the concerns about socialization in Homeschooling. I worry about isolating my kids from the world in attempts to shelter them, but this book gives great knowledge and arguments for the benefits of socializing in homeschool families. It also has great ideas for providing oportunities for their kids to interact with others. I feel much better about my decision to homeschool my kids and more confident that they will have more beneficial oportunities to socialize by learning at home.
November 20, 2020
After about halfway, I felt that I had gotten enough out of the book. Plus it was very repetitive. However, it was fantastic in addressing the assumptions about the role of school in socialization and whether good socialization can occur without the school environment. I'll admit that I had some assumptions that choosing to home school would "hurt" my child's "socialization", but I am sure that it does not, and this book helps open the conversations that come up regarding socialization and homeschooling.
Here are a few takeaways from this book. I've included some quotes and my thoughts.
"The question of socialization is one raised time and time again by new homeschoolers, potential
homeschoolers, friends, relatives, onlookers, educators, and policy makers alike. And this is quite understandably so, for if homeschooling indeed meant being isolated, stuck at home, and limited in the kinds of people one was exposed to, it would certainly be cause for concern."
~I've only just started homeschooling and this question has been brought up many times already! Part of why this book drew my attention.
"According to Webster, to "socialize" is defined as "to fit or train for a social environment. What environment should our children be "fit or trained" for society as it is today? Society as it is likely to be when the children grow up? Society as we want it to be when they grow up? Our own family or religious or cultural group? Someone else's? A school environment? The "outside" world? Who decides what is an appropriate social environment to fit or train our children for?"
~I'm thankful that my husband and I don't train our child according to the society of this world, so this doesn't entirely ring true for us. However, it's worth considering what socialization means to you before you can understand what others might be thinking when they approach you with questions.
"Is School the "Gold Standard"? But there is also a hidden meaning often attributed to socialization: school-based socialization (or what I like to call "schoolization"). Many believe that homeschoolers cannot get properly socialized simply because they do not get school-based socialization, the logic being that regardless of other factors, without going to school a child simply cannot be socialized because school is the place where socialization occurs. In the absence of a true standard for socialization, some cultures look to this, the only place they know to look."
"The naked truth is that school is the definitive gold standard for only one type of socialization: school-based socialization. But there is another kind of socialization, and this is the one many homeschoolers are after: friends- family- and community-based socialization."
"Friends are everywhere. In the neighborhood, at church, synagogue, or other religious groups, at Scouts, and so on. In fact, once I had glimpsed the lives of people who lived their days unfettered by school schedules and restrictions, I discovered a jarring truth: School actually interferes with social life."
~I think that this is a good point - that school socialization is not the only place that socialization occurs. I think we all need to decide for ourselves, for our unique families, what socialization means for their child(ren). Not to say that school-socialization couldn't be a PART of overall socialization. I liked that the author brought up community, family, and faith-based interactions.
"This is not to say that kids do not need plenty of peer contact. In all likelihood, they do need to play with friends and not rely on their parents (or even siblings to be their sole playmates. However, there is no evidence that playing all day with two or three close friends is in any way inferior for children socially than spending the days passing in and out of the lives of large numbers of miscellaneous peers."
~I think that as with everything, this book can be taken with a grain of salt. That being said, the author does a good job verbalizing the ideas, motives, concerns, and questions behind the "socialization" question of homeschooling (even if it is a bit repetitive.) I would recommend even for parents who don't homeschool.
Here are a few takeaways from this book. I've included some quotes and my thoughts.
"The question of socialization is one raised time and time again by new homeschoolers, potential
homeschoolers, friends, relatives, onlookers, educators, and policy makers alike. And this is quite understandably so, for if homeschooling indeed meant being isolated, stuck at home, and limited in the kinds of people one was exposed to, it would certainly be cause for concern."
~I've only just started homeschooling and this question has been brought up many times already! Part of why this book drew my attention.
"According to Webster, to "socialize" is defined as "to fit or train for a social environment. What environment should our children be "fit or trained" for society as it is today? Society as it is likely to be when the children grow up? Society as we want it to be when they grow up? Our own family or religious or cultural group? Someone else's? A school environment? The "outside" world? Who decides what is an appropriate social environment to fit or train our children for?"
~I'm thankful that my husband and I don't train our child according to the society of this world, so this doesn't entirely ring true for us. However, it's worth considering what socialization means to you before you can understand what others might be thinking when they approach you with questions.
"Is School the "Gold Standard"? But there is also a hidden meaning often attributed to socialization: school-based socialization (or what I like to call "schoolization"). Many believe that homeschoolers cannot get properly socialized simply because they do not get school-based socialization, the logic being that regardless of other factors, without going to school a child simply cannot be socialized because school is the place where socialization occurs. In the absence of a true standard for socialization, some cultures look to this, the only place they know to look."
"The naked truth is that school is the definitive gold standard for only one type of socialization: school-based socialization. But there is another kind of socialization, and this is the one many homeschoolers are after: friends- family- and community-based socialization."
"Friends are everywhere. In the neighborhood, at church, synagogue, or other religious groups, at Scouts, and so on. In fact, once I had glimpsed the lives of people who lived their days unfettered by school schedules and restrictions, I discovered a jarring truth: School actually interferes with social life."
~I think that this is a good point - that school socialization is not the only place that socialization occurs. I think we all need to decide for ourselves, for our unique families, what socialization means for their child(ren). Not to say that school-socialization couldn't be a PART of overall socialization. I liked that the author brought up community, family, and faith-based interactions.
"This is not to say that kids do not need plenty of peer contact. In all likelihood, they do need to play with friends and not rely on their parents (or even siblings to be their sole playmates. However, there is no evidence that playing all day with two or three close friends is in any way inferior for children socially than spending the days passing in and out of the lives of large numbers of miscellaneous peers."
~I think that as with everything, this book can be taken with a grain of salt. That being said, the author does a good job verbalizing the ideas, motives, concerns, and questions behind the "socialization" question of homeschooling (even if it is a bit repetitive.) I would recommend even for parents who don't homeschool.
June 8, 2011
I genuinely enjoyed this book, but it may be because (based on previous reading and research, as well as my limited personal experience) I found myself "on board" with many of the points Gathercole was already making. But there were several things that bothered me about the book.
First, there was a kind of "the lady doth protest too much" issue with this book. I don't think it would have made less of a case for homeschooling to admit that one educational approach CAN'T do it all. I found her chapter on diversity to feel especially forced in this regard. Her main argument was, "if it matters to you, you will find your children diverse people with whom to interact" but she refused to admit that this is, in fact, one of the difficulties of homeschooling. There ARE "minorities" who are homeschooling, but as a matter of course (because homeschooling requires parents with flexible schedules at the very least and more likely at least one stay at home parent) it's going to be hard to find folks of diverse socio-economic backgrounds. It's not going to have built-in racial and socio-economic diversity of a public school, and that is a legitimate concern. Maybe not the reason you won't homeschool (because you might find other opportunities, such as community service), but I thought that the suggestion that this wasn't a legitimate concern to be disingenuous.
Similarly, a lot of her logic for why the kind of socialization that happens in public school is not necessarily the kind of socialization you WANT for your child was way overdone. In like three pages she analogizes it to teaching babies not to touch fire, teaching a child to walk a tightrope, making choices about what we feed our children (ie "few would suggest that children need to be fed unhealthy foods in childhood because they will be exposed to unhealthy food options later in life"), etc. Not only are these not exactly great analogies, there are just far too many of them. I thought the book was much stronger in the sections where she emphasizes what homeschooling DOES provide than when she tries to prove that it is better than public schooling (which she claims overtly that she is not doing, but in practice the logic of the book implicitly argues this).
Lastly, I know this is not a "scholarly" book and I actually really appreciated the testimony from homeschoolers. But I would have appreciated a bit of a note on methodology: how did she interview people (in person? via email?), how big was her sample size, how diverse (location-wise) were her sources? Because honestly it seems like all of her sources were from North Carolina (which is where she lives), with a few from New York and then like four from other places. You leave with the sense that NC has a vibrant homeschooling community, but I'm not sure that is necessarily useful and kind of undermines the "universality" of her argument.
That being said, I do agree with her basic argument and enjoyed reading this. I just thought there were a few problems that were glaring enough to be unconvincing to people more inclined to be skeptical of her argument.
First, there was a kind of "the lady doth protest too much" issue with this book. I don't think it would have made less of a case for homeschooling to admit that one educational approach CAN'T do it all. I found her chapter on diversity to feel especially forced in this regard. Her main argument was, "if it matters to you, you will find your children diverse people with whom to interact" but she refused to admit that this is, in fact, one of the difficulties of homeschooling. There ARE "minorities" who are homeschooling, but as a matter of course (because homeschooling requires parents with flexible schedules at the very least and more likely at least one stay at home parent) it's going to be hard to find folks of diverse socio-economic backgrounds. It's not going to have built-in racial and socio-economic diversity of a public school, and that is a legitimate concern. Maybe not the reason you won't homeschool (because you might find other opportunities, such as community service), but I thought that the suggestion that this wasn't a legitimate concern to be disingenuous.
Similarly, a lot of her logic for why the kind of socialization that happens in public school is not necessarily the kind of socialization you WANT for your child was way overdone. In like three pages she analogizes it to teaching babies not to touch fire, teaching a child to walk a tightrope, making choices about what we feed our children (ie "few would suggest that children need to be fed unhealthy foods in childhood because they will be exposed to unhealthy food options later in life"), etc. Not only are these not exactly great analogies, there are just far too many of them. I thought the book was much stronger in the sections where she emphasizes what homeschooling DOES provide than when she tries to prove that it is better than public schooling (which she claims overtly that she is not doing, but in practice the logic of the book implicitly argues this).
Lastly, I know this is not a "scholarly" book and I actually really appreciated the testimony from homeschoolers. But I would have appreciated a bit of a note on methodology: how did she interview people (in person? via email?), how big was her sample size, how diverse (location-wise) were her sources? Because honestly it seems like all of her sources were from North Carolina (which is where she lives), with a few from New York and then like four from other places. You leave with the sense that NC has a vibrant homeschooling community, but I'm not sure that is necessarily useful and kind of undermines the "universality" of her argument.
That being said, I do agree with her basic argument and enjoyed reading this. I just thought there were a few problems that were glaring enough to be unconvincing to people more inclined to be skeptical of her argument.
January 16, 2009
I found this book to be very repetitive. It would have made an excellent research paper or essay, but as a book it was tiring to get through. That being said it is a thorough discussion of the many social benefits to homeschooling. Most parents who choose to homeschool know that this is the question on the minds everyone else. Will your child be weird, will they be able to fit in to the real world, and will they have friends? I didn't find any new info in it personally, and felt that Family Matters was a better book on the subject, but I am trying to read everything I can get my hands on as we try to make this decision. I felt her basic conclusions were that 1-Children who are homeschooled have a lot more time for friendships due to the flexible schedule. 2-They will know how to socialize on a different level than their peers because adults will not be seen as "the enemy" in an us vs.them school society, 3-Studies show that children who are homeschooled actually make the transition to college better than school taught peers, have higher self esteems, and a larger variety of friends. (How many of you sat in the cafeteria with your "group" and rarely ventured out?), and the last point she made was that 4-YES Homeschooled children are different than school taught peers, but who is to say that difference is a bad thing? Homeschooled children don't base coolness on clothing labels, peer pressure, don't have to pretend to be stupid to be cool. So her conclusion is that there is a difference and it is okay and the main reason a lot of people homeschool!
March 12, 2009
f you've never picked up a book on homeschooling and don't know anything about it, this book will do an adequate job of explaining the "socialization" concern over homeschooled children. If you don't "get it" after reading this book, then you never will.
But for me, who is in the midst of researching homeschooling in general and whether it's right for me and our family, this book was like taking a club and bashing it repeatedly over my head just in case I didn't get the main point the first 351 times the author said it.
I did get a few good points out of the book, thus why I gave this 2 stars (2 stars to me means "It's OK"), but I'm beginning to wonder if there are any homeschooling books that don't take a Pollyanna approach to the whole thing. I want to hear it from someone who isn't afraid to "get real".
That aside, this book is a bit too long and didn't give as much helpful insight as I thought an entire book dedicated to one topic would provide. Wouldn't you just like to ask some of these families how they dealt with socialization for the reluctant child? How 'bout socialization for the family on a budget? Etcetera.....This book fails in the area of application and is just one extremely long winded account of how great homeschooled kids are socialized and here's the list of things you can do....and here the list is again.....oh, and here the list is again.......well, you get the idea.
But for me, who is in the midst of researching homeschooling in general and whether it's right for me and our family, this book was like taking a club and bashing it repeatedly over my head just in case I didn't get the main point the first 351 times the author said it.
I did get a few good points out of the book, thus why I gave this 2 stars (2 stars to me means "It's OK"), but I'm beginning to wonder if there are any homeschooling books that don't take a Pollyanna approach to the whole thing. I want to hear it from someone who isn't afraid to "get real".
That aside, this book is a bit too long and didn't give as much helpful insight as I thought an entire book dedicated to one topic would provide. Wouldn't you just like to ask some of these families how they dealt with socialization for the reluctant child? How 'bout socialization for the family on a budget? Etcetera.....This book fails in the area of application and is just one extremely long winded account of how great homeschooled kids are socialized and here's the list of things you can do....and here the list is again.....oh, and here the list is again.......well, you get the idea.
April 20, 2013
I came to this book 90 to 95% convinced that I will be homeschooling my own children (for various non-socialization reasons) and wanted to find out how to best counter the argument that homeschooled children are hopelessly unsocialized and condemned to a life of solitude and misery.
Her central argument (that homeschooled children might be better socialized than conventionally schooled children because homeschool is more "real life" than conventional school) is good and valid, but the way she presents and repeats that argument is not interesting. I feel bad saying that, but this book didn't do a great job of holding my attention. Her secondary argument (families are closer together with homeschooling because each person doesn't hang out in separate, non-overlapping circles) is also one I can agree with, but she reiterates to the point of tedium. A lot of the book content is anecdotes from homeschoolers and their parents, but it's not a large number of people so they feel repetitive (especially the homeschooling father of three).
Overall, this book has somewhat bolstered my decision to homeschool, but didn't offer anything new argument-wise as far as socialization is concerned.
Her central argument (that homeschooled children might be better socialized than conventionally schooled children because homeschool is more "real life" than conventional school) is good and valid, but the way she presents and repeats that argument is not interesting. I feel bad saying that, but this book didn't do a great job of holding my attention. Her secondary argument (families are closer together with homeschooling because each person doesn't hang out in separate, non-overlapping circles) is also one I can agree with, but she reiterates to the point of tedium. A lot of the book content is anecdotes from homeschoolers and their parents, but it's not a large number of people so they feel repetitive (especially the homeschooling father of three).
Overall, this book has somewhat bolstered my decision to homeschool, but didn't offer anything new argument-wise as far as socialization is concerned.
August 17, 2008
As always when I read about homeschooling, I got really inspired and excited by our decision to homeschool. At the same time, I just don't think the author can write! She uses too many metaphors and poorly edited quotes. It is still a great book to read for anyone with doubts about how children are socialized when they homeschool. It is packed full of examples of how poorly children are really socialized at school compared to in the real world, in communities, and with their families when they are homeschooled.
April 17, 2019
If you are considering homeschooling but worry about the social aspect then this book is a wonderful guide. It breaks down the various aspects of socialization and what it means for homeschoolers. The author interviewed many HS kids and parents to get their opinions. With all that said however, my issue with the book is that it didn't offer much information for the "veteran" homeschool parent. I've been HSing for several years and while I'm not concerned about my kids socialization I wanted some fresh ideas and perspectives. This book seemed to be geared more toward "If your are in the fence about homeschooling due to the socialization aspect, don't hesitate because HS kids are just as socialized as public school kids (if not more so)."
February 12, 2020
This book was incredible. From the ease of reading to the testimonials and real life stories, it made for amazing family discussions each evening.
Great points made on all aspects of social lives of both child and parent.
Great points made on all aspects of social lives of both child and parent.
June 25, 2017
It pretty much confirmed what I already knew about the socialization criticism of homeschooled children. Lots of great anecdotes and stories from homeschooled children/families.
August 2, 2019
Man, it took a while but I finished it! Loved this so much! It was so information dense that I really wanted to give it the time and thought it deserved. I am 100% on board with homeschooling my kids one day.
November 12, 2020
Loved this book and hearing from kids and parents of homeschoolers. Just wish it had more studies. Essential read for anyone considering homeschooling!
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February 25, 2012Maybe home-schooled kids are not social misfits. Could they be better socialized than their peers? Can parents be intentional in creating social opportunities with other home-schooled kids; emphasize interaction with people while doing real-life stuff (shoping, working, chores, etc.)?
This is a myth-buster regarding an increasingly popular option for parents. Homeschool is more normative historically and globally than the school we take for granted in the modern West, a subculture that begat behaviors such as "teasing, competitiveness, peer dependence, expressing a disdain for adults, excessive concerns about appearance and 'sameness' with others, and so on" (xxiv). People complained about a generation gap but failed to recognize a systemic cause, even as modern schooling was seen increasingly necessary and inherent to childhood. No wonder homeschooled kids are stereotyped as poorly socialized, despite evidence to the contrary. Studies here show that homeschoolers have higher self concepts with fewer problem behaviors.
Note: I am not politicizing this issue; surely both options are viable and parents should use their own discretion. As parent of three pre-schoolers, this is my due-diligence.
Chapter topics: What homeschoolers do; defining socialization; friendships and peer contact; family relationships and proximity to parents (and the social ramifications); safety; time and freedom to be a kid; being cool; healthy relationships with adults other than parents; diversity; life in the real world; citizenship and pluralism; developing a strong and healthy self identity as a teen; the positive social impact of homeschooling for parents; and the data on academic and social success of homeschoolers.
"The purpose is to share the opinions, experiences, perspectives, and thoughts of some homeschoolers and to show through these experiences the opportunities and benefits that homeschooling can offer for good socialization" (xvii).
This is a myth-buster regarding an increasingly popular option for parents. Homeschool is more normative historically and globally than the school we take for granted in the modern West, a subculture that begat behaviors such as "teasing, competitiveness, peer dependence, expressing a disdain for adults, excessive concerns about appearance and 'sameness' with others, and so on" (xxiv). People complained about a generation gap but failed to recognize a systemic cause, even as modern schooling was seen increasingly necessary and inherent to childhood. No wonder homeschooled kids are stereotyped as poorly socialized, despite evidence to the contrary. Studies here show that homeschoolers have higher self concepts with fewer problem behaviors.
Note: I am not politicizing this issue; surely both options are viable and parents should use their own discretion. As parent of three pre-schoolers, this is my due-diligence.
Chapter topics: What homeschoolers do; defining socialization; friendships and peer contact; family relationships and proximity to parents (and the social ramifications); safety; time and freedom to be a kid; being cool; healthy relationships with adults other than parents; diversity; life in the real world; citizenship and pluralism; developing a strong and healthy self identity as a teen; the positive social impact of homeschooling for parents; and the data on academic and social success of homeschoolers.
"The purpose is to share the opinions, experiences, perspectives, and thoughts of some homeschoolers and to show through these experiences the opportunities and benefits that homeschooling can offer for good socialization" (xvii).
October 27, 2017
This book made me do a total 180. I have always loved school and learning, and been a pretty "good" kid (for the most part). It made me re-think my own education, as well as my desires and goals for my children. It gave me a more critical eye as well as a more deeply thoughtful one. Rather than thinking that one needs to simply find the best school, I began to think about how one can best learn. This book is an incredible apologetics for homeschooling, and does a fantastic job of walking through all of the different elements of homeschooling's benefits and answering potential concerns for loved ones of homeschoolers or families who are considering homeschooling. Well-written and drawing from a variety of individual experiences as well as statistics, I found this book to be exceptional and extremely compelling.
September 13, 2016
Reads like a master's paper written by a mediocre student. It quotes extensively from a few significant sources (especially Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense and Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children) and then pads things by adding supporting quotes from a group of original interviews of homeschooled kids and their parents (with dreadfully repetitive transitions like "James, a homeschooling father, adds his experience:" and "Marena, a ten-year-old homeschooler, shares her perspective:" and "Sebastian's mother, Angela, adds her perspective:" - what was it Spinal Tap said about "too much fucking perspective"? The writing lacks style and a lot of the content has been said before, and better, elsewhere. Some of the citations are lacking in scholarly credibility (Reader's Digest? Really?) The basic thesis of the book is good and so is the outline (chapter one). Making it into a book is overkill, though. Read a couple of her sources and you'll be just fine.
June 27, 2014
Okay, I'm convinced. Socialization has made it's way close to the top of my list of reasons to homeschool our children. I've always observed it to be true: Homeschoolers do well, socially. I enjoy watching close family and friends successfully raise and educate independent, confident, happy, respectful children (all markers of good socialization, right?), but now I'm willing to say that I think our kids will be better socialized with a "family-and-community-based" approach.
Rachel Gathercole hits a homerun with this book. She nails down and powerfully answers many common misconceptions about homeschoolers: What do they do? Do they have friends? Are they cool? Are they ever really independent of their parents? How do they relate to other adults (other than their parents)? Are they prepared for the "real world"? What about diversity and citizenship? Do they have a good sense of self? Do they get to experience the "normal" school-aged child's lifestyle? And of course, "Are they properly socialized?"
This book is great for parents considering homeschooling or those who are worried/skeptical and want to gain understanding on the issue of socialization, for themselves or as they relate to homeschooling families.
Love this quote she includes:
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
~Krishnamurti
Rachel Gathercole hits a homerun with this book. She nails down and powerfully answers many common misconceptions about homeschoolers: What do they do? Do they have friends? Are they cool? Are they ever really independent of their parents? How do they relate to other adults (other than their parents)? Are they prepared for the "real world"? What about diversity and citizenship? Do they have a good sense of self? Do they get to experience the "normal" school-aged child's lifestyle? And of course, "Are they properly socialized?"
This book is great for parents considering homeschooling or those who are worried/skeptical and want to gain understanding on the issue of socialization, for themselves or as they relate to homeschooling families.
Love this quote she includes:
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
~Krishnamurti
February 23, 2011
As someone who is considering homeschooling, I found this book very interesting. The issue of "socialization" always comes up in conversations about homeschooling and Gathercole does a good job pointing out the ways that homeschoolers may actually be better (or as adequately) "socialized" than children in traditional school settings. She's pretty repetitive and I ended up skimming over a lot because I felt like I got the point. She also tries to appeal to everyone a little too much. She often says something like, "Of course, I'm not saying that homeschooling is better than traditional schooling..." Really? You're not? Sometimes, I think we're afraid of offending and so we don't present our feelings honestly. If you don't want to read a book about the benefits of homeschooling, then don't read this book. Easy enough. I gave it 4 stars for the handful of points that really affected the way I think about homeschooling. It was a refreshing read on many levels.
March 2, 2011
Systematically covers every conceivable angle of the "socialization" of homeschoolers, neatly debunks myths and misinformation and provides convincing arguments for the advantages of a "socialization" that is more home, community, and family-centered than that available at public school. Particularly for my ADHD child who has difficulty in many social situations, the "socialization" he received when associated with dozens of his peers all at once was not particularly healthy and doesn't reinforce the positive communication skills he desperately needs, but struggles to master. This book reinforced my parental "gut instinct" on that front.
Relies heavily on (long) quotations from homeschooling parents or kids, which has benefits and drawbacks. I ended up skimming many of the longer quotes to just read the info in the paragraphs and get the gist.
For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.
Relies heavily on (long) quotations from homeschooling parents or kids, which has benefits and drawbacks. I ended up skimming many of the longer quotes to just read the info in the paragraphs and get the gist.
For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.
May 6, 2015
I am a homeschool graduate, and a mom who hopes to homeschool her own children, and I really appreciated this book. I can't tell you how many times people have brought up the "socialization" question to me (I don't know whether to be insulted or not since I am a homeschool graduate), and this book addresses all possible concerns with the issue in a very well thought-out way. I could relate personally to everything the author talked about from both sides, since I also went to public school through the third grade. I thought this book was very accurate from a public school and homeschool standpoint. I'd highly recommend this book to any person who is considering homeschooling, or to anyone who might be concerned about the socialization of homeschoolers they know. It made me excited to start homeschooling my own kids too - I forgot how many opportunities there are within homeschooling to socialize, and I am looking forward to when we can get more involved in our local community!
August 25, 2009
"The Well-Adjusted Child" is not a book for people who want to know all about homeschooling. This book focuses on only one aspect to the decision to homeschool: will my child be socialized?
Gathercole makes a good argument for debunking the myths surrounding the social aspects of homeschooling. Contrary to urban legends, homeschooled children make good friends, know how to act in public, and learn how to get along in the outside world. However, the author goes on to make the same argument over and over and over. Occasionally she will throw in different quotes but she refers to the same studies again and again. After reading the introduction, I feel I had all of the pertinent details that this book offers.
Gathercole makes a good argument for debunking the myths surrounding the social aspects of homeschooling. Contrary to urban legends, homeschooled children make good friends, know how to act in public, and learn how to get along in the outside world. However, the author goes on to make the same argument over and over and over. Occasionally she will throw in different quotes but she refers to the same studies again and again. After reading the introduction, I feel I had all of the pertinent details that this book offers.
August 4, 2013
My husband and I are planning to homeschool our two year old. We have recently started getting questions about what school we would like him to go to and when our answer is none, we will be homeschooling, we get the obvious follow up questions. I have never been concerned about how well he will be socialized because we live in an urban environment and I have already met a few homeschooling families at the park by chance. However, I wanted to read this so I could have a deeper understanding of the issues surrounding socialization and home schooled children. This book was a quick read with lots of quotes from both parents and children. I now feel very confident that I can lessen any fears that our family may have regarding our son's schooling and socialization.
May 23, 2016
This book calmed my fear about homeschooling. Like most parents who consider the idea for the first time, I found myself drawn to the many benefits of this decision but scared of the "s" word, socialization. This book addressed all of my fears and put them to rest. I did not finish the book because it became repetitive and belabored points that did not need proving (in my opinion). For example, there was a chapter in there on why bullying is socially detrimental to children. As a person who was bullied as a child myself, no one needs to prove this to me in a book.
But I would definitely recommend this book to any and every parent who hears God's call to homeschool and yet still fears social consequences.
But I would definitely recommend this book to any and every parent who hears God's call to homeschool and yet still fears social consequences.
May 4, 2012
Fantastic, thoughtful book about how "socialization" in public schools isn't all it's cracked up to be. As someone who was injured by the social atmosphere of public schools, I've been waiting for a book like this to speak for me. Homeschooling in our family has been really wonderful so far, for many of the reasons Rachel Gathercole mentions in this book. For anyone skeptical about homeschooling, I recommend The Well-Adjusted Child. And for homeschoolers who do feel their kids aren't getting enough social interaction, the book has suggestions for increasing the POSITIVE social interactions. Five-star book!
July 20, 2008
This book provides a lot of good answers to the question, "What about socialization," when it comes to home schooling. I would have given it 5 stars except for two things. I really got tired of the excessive use of quotes from not very eloquent homeschoolers. I also wished she had used more studies or research to back up some of her claims. She would say, "It is evident that homeschoolers are better prepared for life as adults," but then she wouldn't give any research to show this to be true. That's my only beef.
December 12, 2008
I didn't read all of it. I bounced around to the different chapters that appealed to me. I think if I would have read the whole thing I would have rated it higher.
I liked what she had to say, but of course I'm partial and will agree with anything to do with homeschooling and social skills. : ) I thought it was more of an emotional book rather than a book giving you lots of facts and ideas. I left feeling more committed about the "socialization" issue, but not with anything to say logically to anyone else to defend our lifestyle.
I liked what she had to say, but of course I'm partial and will agree with anything to do with homeschooling and social skills. : ) I thought it was more of an emotional book rather than a book giving you lots of facts and ideas. I left feeling more committed about the "socialization" issue, but not with anything to say logically to anyone else to defend our lifestyle.
January 14, 2015
I thought that The Well-Adjusted Child had a lot of good points and from this book I recorded in my journal several useful and thought provoking quotes about the relationship between socialization and homeschooling. However, I feel like the author said a lot of the same thing over and over again in slightly different ways and the writing wasn't very succinct. In my opinion this book could have been condensed to half its size and still included the important information. I do recommend it to anyone considering or questioning homeschooling.
November 5, 2010
Not impressed. A couple of other homeschooling books that I've read addressed socialization in a chapter or less and in this book I didn't learn anything new about socialization at all. The author repeated herself so much I ended up just skimming over the book by the time I was halfway through. I'm positive I didn't miss anything important. She bring up good points, but I think if she had focused her attention and efforts she could have written one very profound and amazing chapter and covered everything worth covering.
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