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Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey – A Personal Memoir for Parents on Acceptance, Wisdom, and Understanding Gay Children
"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.
402 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1999
737 people are currently reading
3822 people want to read
About the author
Betty DeGeneres
8 books19 followersBetty DeGeneres (born Elizabeth Jane Pfeffer) is an American LGBT rights activist. She is the mother of Ellen and Vance DeGeneres and the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project[1] and an active member of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). She gained notability following her daughter Ellen's highly-publicized coming out in 1997.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 176 reviews
November 26, 2012
I liked it. A lovely memoir. Ellen Degeneres' mother tells her story. It was not really what I expected. I expected the book to be all about Ellen, but it truly was about her mother and about the love between Ellen and her mom and the rest of the family too. The most powerful thing about the book is when Betty talks about gay people and families and how they all need to be accepted as just people - which is all we are anyway. I, too, have a gay daughter, and I've never once had a moment's doubt about my love for her or about how wonderful and smart she is. I hope this book can help people who struggle with having a gay family member.
December 4, 2014
3.5 stars actually
A wonderful book, very inspiring. Betty DeGeneres quite a lady... would love to meet her one day. Her words made me smile, I admire her for what she's made of her life and for her support of Ellen. They've both had quite a journey and it wasn't always easy but they persevered.
It did drag in a couple parts for me but I still very much enjoyed it. Her writing style is intimate, it feels if she's talking just to you at points.
I became aware of Ellen through her talk show, maybe 06-07 perhaps, I loved her spirit and the way she connected with/appreciated her fans. I thought it was very touching the way she talked about her mom but somehow the fact that Betty had written a book had escaped my notice. I came across it by chance, but don't remember how exactly.
Awkward review methinks but sometimes it's hard to know what to say. I can highly recommend this book, don't let the three rating have you thinking it's just "meh" I did enjoy it though I didn't love it the way I thought I would.
I would buy another book of hers if she wrote more :).
A wonderful book, very inspiring. Betty DeGeneres quite a lady... would love to meet her one day. Her words made me smile, I admire her for what she's made of her life and for her support of Ellen. They've both had quite a journey and it wasn't always easy but they persevered.
It did drag in a couple parts for me but I still very much enjoyed it. Her writing style is intimate, it feels if she's talking just to you at points.
I became aware of Ellen through her talk show, maybe 06-07 perhaps, I loved her spirit and the way she connected with/appreciated her fans. I thought it was very touching the way she talked about her mom but somehow the fact that Betty had written a book had escaped my notice. I came across it by chance, but don't remember how exactly.
Awkward review methinks but sometimes it's hard to know what to say. I can highly recommend this book, don't let the three rating have you thinking it's just "meh" I did enjoy it though I didn't love it the way I thought I would.
I would buy another book of hers if she wrote more :).
August 1, 2013
This isn't so much a story of how Betty came to accept her daughter's homosexuality as it's just a nice memoir. I found it enjoyable, but I was very distracted by the many typos throughout the book. I also feel like Ms. Degeneres fell short of her goal of writing a sort of how-to for conservative parents struggling with their child's out-ness. I think the gay community still needs that book to be written as I'm sure there are many kids who would like to give their parents a manual for continuing to love their newly out child.
June 5, 2019
This book covers the life of Betty DeGeneres up to 1999 when it was first published. Betty and her kids had a tumultuous life. Betty was divorced, remarried and divorced again. She talks about her marriages and life after marriage, her children and their lives and struggles and especially the events surrounding her daughter Ellen and her coming out. Well written and very interesting.
July 14, 2014
Bedingungslose Aufrichtigkeit ist das größte Geschenk.
Betty DeGeneres wächst konservativ in den 1930er Jahren in einem behüteten und gleichermaßen verschwiegenen Elternhaus auf. Die Familie ist füreinander da, allerdings wird sich emotionalen Kontroversen eher mit Stillschweigen gewidmet. Als Betty, inzwischen selbst stolze Mutter zweier Kinder, eines Nachmittags mit ihrer Tochter Ellen zu einem Strandspaziergang aufbricht, ahnt sie nicht, dass die kommende halbe Stunde ihr Weltbild und damit ihre Einstellung zu gesellschaftlichen Normen und Menschenrechten vollkommen verändern wird. Denn Ellen gesteht ihrer Mutter, dass sie Frauen liebt. Ein Schock für Betty. Nichtsdestotrotz zögert sie keine Sekunde, ihrer Tochter für ihr Vertrauen und ihre Aufrichtigkeit zu danken und ihr ihre unerschütterliche Mutterliebe entgegenzubringen. Dass Ellen in den nachfolgenden Jahrzehnten zu einer der angesehensten Entertainerinnen der USA mit einzigartiger Vorbildrolle und Betty zur engagierten Aktivistin für die Rechte Homosexueller werden soll, weiß 1978 noch niemand.
In ihrem Buch "Love, Ellen" blickt Betty DeGeneres auf ihr Leben als Ehefrau und Mutter zurück. Dabei reflektiert sie unumwunden eigene Schwächen und erzählt voller Stolz, wie sehr sie dank ihrer Tochter Ellen DeGeneres zu einem toleranteren Menschen mit einer Herzensangelegenheit geworden ist.
Die von Betty DeGeneres beschriebene Achterbahn des Lebens könnte turbulenter kaum sein. Von der jungen Frau auf der Suche nach der familiären Erfüllung über die Schockstarre nach dem Comingout ihrer Tochter bis hin zur international beliebten Repräsentantin einer Gesellschaft, die akzeptiert, anstatt verurteilt.
Offen und direkt spricht die Autorin nicht nur die Missstände einer modernen Gesellschaft an, sondern sie gesteht nicht weniger ihre eigene Unwissenheit, Angst und Unsicherheit. Betty DeGeneres lässt Nähe zu und gewährt damit Einblicke, die bewegen. Bewegen, etwas verändern zu wollen. Für mich eine unglaubliche Stärke dieses Buches.
Mit ihrer Geschichte möchte die Autorin und Mutter einer homosexueller Tochter zeigen, wie schwer und gleichzeitig unheimlich befreiend es ist, sich selbst einzugestehen, dass Liebe etwas Grenzenloses ist.
Ihr persönlicher Hintergrund macht sie zu einer der besten Botschafterinnen dieser Mission. Denn Betty DeGeneres wirft stets einen Blick auf das Ganze. Sie kann das Hadern und den Schreck absolut nachvollziehen, doch erhebt dabei ihre Stimme vehement gegen Ignoranz und Ablehnung.
Mit einer Vielzahl von berührenden Geschichten, die ihr Menschen im Laufe ihrer Tätigkeit als Mitglied von P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays) erzählt haben, unterstreicht sie die Wichtigkeit einer für Gleichberechtigung stehenden Gesellschaft. Eine Mission, die sie unermüdlich verfolgt. Sie räumt mit gängigen Vorurteilen auf und macht Mut — sowohl den Homosexuellen selbst als auch deren Familien und Freunden. In einer Welt zwischen Selbstverständlichkeit und rigoroser Religiosität eine nach wie vor notwendige Aufgabe. Eines ist sicher: Die großherzige Philanthropie, welche in jedem einzelnen Kapitel mitschwingt, setzt Ausrufezeichen und ergreift während des Lesens.
In der Summe ein Buch, dessen Botschaft ausdrücklicher, persönlicher und aufrichtiger nicht sein könnte: Die Liebe zwischen Eltern und Kindern ist etwas Bedingungsloses, das als unerschütterlicher Fels in der Brandung gesellschaftlicher Spannungsfelder stehen muss. Nichts ist kostbarer als Familie und Freunde, die einen akzeptieren, wie man ist.
Betty DeGeneres wächst konservativ in den 1930er Jahren in einem behüteten und gleichermaßen verschwiegenen Elternhaus auf. Die Familie ist füreinander da, allerdings wird sich emotionalen Kontroversen eher mit Stillschweigen gewidmet. Als Betty, inzwischen selbst stolze Mutter zweier Kinder, eines Nachmittags mit ihrer Tochter Ellen zu einem Strandspaziergang aufbricht, ahnt sie nicht, dass die kommende halbe Stunde ihr Weltbild und damit ihre Einstellung zu gesellschaftlichen Normen und Menschenrechten vollkommen verändern wird. Denn Ellen gesteht ihrer Mutter, dass sie Frauen liebt. Ein Schock für Betty. Nichtsdestotrotz zögert sie keine Sekunde, ihrer Tochter für ihr Vertrauen und ihre Aufrichtigkeit zu danken und ihr ihre unerschütterliche Mutterliebe entgegenzubringen. Dass Ellen in den nachfolgenden Jahrzehnten zu einer der angesehensten Entertainerinnen der USA mit einzigartiger Vorbildrolle und Betty zur engagierten Aktivistin für die Rechte Homosexueller werden soll, weiß 1978 noch niemand.
In ihrem Buch "Love, Ellen" blickt Betty DeGeneres auf ihr Leben als Ehefrau und Mutter zurück. Dabei reflektiert sie unumwunden eigene Schwächen und erzählt voller Stolz, wie sehr sie dank ihrer Tochter Ellen DeGeneres zu einem toleranteren Menschen mit einer Herzensangelegenheit geworden ist.
Die von Betty DeGeneres beschriebene Achterbahn des Lebens könnte turbulenter kaum sein. Von der jungen Frau auf der Suche nach der familiären Erfüllung über die Schockstarre nach dem Comingout ihrer Tochter bis hin zur international beliebten Repräsentantin einer Gesellschaft, die akzeptiert, anstatt verurteilt.
Offen und direkt spricht die Autorin nicht nur die Missstände einer modernen Gesellschaft an, sondern sie gesteht nicht weniger ihre eigene Unwissenheit, Angst und Unsicherheit. Betty DeGeneres lässt Nähe zu und gewährt damit Einblicke, die bewegen. Bewegen, etwas verändern zu wollen. Für mich eine unglaubliche Stärke dieses Buches.
Mit ihrer Geschichte möchte die Autorin und Mutter einer homosexueller Tochter zeigen, wie schwer und gleichzeitig unheimlich befreiend es ist, sich selbst einzugestehen, dass Liebe etwas Grenzenloses ist.
Ihr persönlicher Hintergrund macht sie zu einer der besten Botschafterinnen dieser Mission. Denn Betty DeGeneres wirft stets einen Blick auf das Ganze. Sie kann das Hadern und den Schreck absolut nachvollziehen, doch erhebt dabei ihre Stimme vehement gegen Ignoranz und Ablehnung.
Mit einer Vielzahl von berührenden Geschichten, die ihr Menschen im Laufe ihrer Tätigkeit als Mitglied von P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays) erzählt haben, unterstreicht sie die Wichtigkeit einer für Gleichberechtigung stehenden Gesellschaft. Eine Mission, die sie unermüdlich verfolgt. Sie räumt mit gängigen Vorurteilen auf und macht Mut — sowohl den Homosexuellen selbst als auch deren Familien und Freunden. In einer Welt zwischen Selbstverständlichkeit und rigoroser Religiosität eine nach wie vor notwendige Aufgabe. Eines ist sicher: Die großherzige Philanthropie, welche in jedem einzelnen Kapitel mitschwingt, setzt Ausrufezeichen und ergreift während des Lesens.
In der Summe ein Buch, dessen Botschaft ausdrücklicher, persönlicher und aufrichtiger nicht sein könnte: Die Liebe zwischen Eltern und Kindern ist etwas Bedingungsloses, das als unerschütterlicher Fels in der Brandung gesellschaftlicher Spannungsfelder stehen muss. Nichts ist kostbarer als Familie und Freunde, die einen akzeptieren, wie man ist.
June 12, 2013
I remember seeing Ellen DeGeneres's mom on her talk show in the audience. I just finished a book written by Betty DeGeneres. I had heard she had a book out but was surprised that is it from 1999. well better late than never!! I was glad to get the chance the "know" Betty, a bit better. she has written an honest well done memoir about her own life and being the mother of Ellen Degeneres.
Betty wrote about her life growing up the youngest daughter, going to college, her several marriages that ended in divorce. raising her two children Vance, and Ellen. what I am most impressed with is her loyalty to her children. she truly is a great loving mom. When Ellen told her she was a lesbian. she rallied around her daughter and eventually became a leader for gay rights. I enjoyed reading this book by this loving wonderful lady. It made me believe more that ever how lucky Ellen is to have Betty DeGeneres for her mom.
Betty wrote about her life growing up the youngest daughter, going to college, her several marriages that ended in divorce. raising her two children Vance, and Ellen. what I am most impressed with is her loyalty to her children. she truly is a great loving mom. When Ellen told her she was a lesbian. she rallied around her daughter and eventually became a leader for gay rights. I enjoyed reading this book by this loving wonderful lady. It made me believe more that ever how lucky Ellen is to have Betty DeGeneres for her mom.
March 7, 2016
Wonderful book! Get to know that lovely lady you've occasionally seen on the Ellen talk show. I didn't realize that she was so active in gay rights, even serving as the first nongay chairperson of the Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project. Her unconditional love of her kids, excellent example of a caring, loving person and reaching out to other people is is so inspirational! This book lets us into her early life and the story of her and her two kids, Ellen and Vance. I expected to enjoy the book, but it goes beyond simple enjoyment, serving as an important document in the fight against discrimination, an example of tolerance and love, guide for dealing with the knowledge that your child is gay and a beacon of hope and understanding for anyone struggling with the realization that they are gay. Undoubtedly, the example set by Betty DeGeneres has helped many people with their personal struggles, promoting understanding and ultimately even saving many lives!
May 12, 2009
This was quite the wonderful memoir to read. I think it all comes from an upper-class white American perspective, but it was beautiful and poignant. A book I will give to my Mom, and I think all mothers with gay children should read because of the pure visibility of the issue through Ellen's mother's eyes.
January 3, 2010
OK book. I love biographies but there was too much boring history and repetition.
September 20, 2014
Deep, Insightful & Touching! Beautiful Read!
April 2, 2019
This book is pretty dated, but still interesting to hear about Ellen’s journey from her moms perspective.
March 27, 2019
Interesting
This is a bit dated but still an interesting read. I hope we are getting to the point where there is no closet and being yourself is easy for everyone.
This is a bit dated but still an interesting read. I hope we are getting to the point where there is no closet and being yourself is easy for everyone.
March 12, 2014
Betty DeGeneres writes with such heart and emotion, and is a compassionate and wise woman. I really appreciated seeing through her motherhood lens, and experiencing bits of her life and of Ellen's through her stories. The first part of the book focuses on Betty's upbringing, with the second part discussing more about Ellen's experiences coming out prominently through her television show, and the third part focusing on Betty's experience as an activist. While the writing wasn't always linear and the structure sometimes felt like a meandering journey, Betty's character came through clearly, and it was truly wonderful to get to know her through this book.
I appreciate how the book reminds us that celebrities are people (and that mothers are people!) who have their own life experiences and complications that guide them to do/say/believe specific things. Betty's honesty about her life experiences (positive and negative) shed great light into her character, and helped illustrate how there's often great potential to learn from life experiences, and to channel that into good for the help and benefit of others and yourself.
One of my favorite things about this book is the opportunity to experience the truly monumental and historical things that happened in the media and in our national conversations surrounding LGBTQ rights. Ellen is so incredibly brave, and her willingness to come out on a national stage despite the great risks really changed the conversation, and provided space for so many others to follow suit. Her bravery helped so many others develop the courage to be honest and authentic, and expanded opportunities for LGBTQ people around the country. The portions of the book about this event made me want to find every media clip and historical document available, to patch together a true snapshot of Ellen's historical coming out, and of Betty's experience as the first straight national spokesperson for the HRC's National Coming Out Project! (Dissertation, anyone?)
I appreciate how the book reminds us that celebrities are people (and that mothers are people!) who have their own life experiences and complications that guide them to do/say/believe specific things. Betty's honesty about her life experiences (positive and negative) shed great light into her character, and helped illustrate how there's often great potential to learn from life experiences, and to channel that into good for the help and benefit of others and yourself.
One of my favorite things about this book is the opportunity to experience the truly monumental and historical things that happened in the media and in our national conversations surrounding LGBTQ rights. Ellen is so incredibly brave, and her willingness to come out on a national stage despite the great risks really changed the conversation, and provided space for so many others to follow suit. Her bravery helped so many others develop the courage to be honest and authentic, and expanded opportunities for LGBTQ people around the country. The portions of the book about this event made me want to find every media clip and historical document available, to patch together a true snapshot of Ellen's historical coming out, and of Betty's experience as the first straight national spokesperson for the HRC's National Coming Out Project! (Dissertation, anyone?)
May 9, 2013
This book had me filled with mixed emotions. As a person who has homosexuals in their family and as friends, I think they should be allowed to love and marry whoever the hell they want to. I've never understood discrimination. Why discriminate? We're all made of flesh and blood. Every single one of us. Tis book really helped me embrace more knowledge about homosexuals. I felt some of the references were very useful for me. I would like to belong to P-FLAG an give support to those who need it. I am a straight woman in a partnership with a man, but I'm not narrow minded in thinking THAT is the only way to live or love. Love is Love.
The other side of the coin was the mother/daughter relationship. I was envious of the wonderful relationship Betty and Ellen have. It made my heartbreak knowing my relationship with my mother will never be like that. The damaged ruins of what we have can never be repaired, and that made me more envious of them. I'm glad there are wonderful mothers in the world...and I'm particularly glad that Ellen's mother is one of them. One who can be so supportive and accepting, and have her daughter's back through the worst of times, and ultimately in the best of times.
I would recommend this book to anyone. As a supporter of gays and lesbians, it's eye opening deeper into the meaning of what being gay is. To any homosexual, this book is comforting and reassuring. Betty truly has a way with words and advice. To the people against homosexuality or who have homosexual in their families and are struggling with the new information, this book is powerful knowledge. A tool to learn from and with. Please, read this book to try and be a part of your loved ones life.
Thank you to Betty for having such wonderful advice and wisdom. And thank you for sharing it.
The other side of the coin was the mother/daughter relationship. I was envious of the wonderful relationship Betty and Ellen have. It made my heartbreak knowing my relationship with my mother will never be like that. The damaged ruins of what we have can never be repaired, and that made me more envious of them. I'm glad there are wonderful mothers in the world...and I'm particularly glad that Ellen's mother is one of them. One who can be so supportive and accepting, and have her daughter's back through the worst of times, and ultimately in the best of times.
I would recommend this book to anyone. As a supporter of gays and lesbians, it's eye opening deeper into the meaning of what being gay is. To any homosexual, this book is comforting and reassuring. Betty truly has a way with words and advice. To the people against homosexuality or who have homosexual in their families and are struggling with the new information, this book is powerful knowledge. A tool to learn from and with. Please, read this book to try and be a part of your loved ones life.
Thank you to Betty for having such wonderful advice and wisdom. And thank you for sharing it.
January 22, 2013
I picked this book up after I heard country singer Chely Wright mention it when she appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She said this book was a great support to her in coming out as a lesbian. I love Ellen and her mom Betty so I knew I had to read this book.
Love, Ellen was about more than just Ellen and Betty's relationship. It's really a memoir of Betty's whole life. Luckily, she has had an interesting life. After she divorced Ellen's father, she married a man she refers to only as "B" who was abusive to both her and Ellen. Of course, there is a lot about Ellen's life in here too. Betty quotes letters Ellen wrote to her through the years and she writes in detail about the period in Ellen's life when she decided to come out publicly as a lesbian. If you are a fan of Ellen's brother Vance DeGeneres you should know that there is a little bit about him in the book but it's definitely more about Ellen and Betty.
This book was written when Ellen and Anne Heche were still together and Anne was still masquerading as someone not completely bonkers (in my opinion). I cringed a little every time Betty referred to Anne as her other daughter. However, that's just one more way in which Betty is completely supportive of Ellen - she welcomed Ellen's partner with open arms right from the beginning of their relationship.
Betty DeGeneres is an inspiring example of a woman who loves her children unconditionally. Betty isn't perfect and she knows that. She writes about her mistakes as well as her successes in life. This is a wonderful book for pretty much everyone - Ellen fans, Betty fans, LGBT people and allies.
Love, Ellen was about more than just Ellen and Betty's relationship. It's really a memoir of Betty's whole life. Luckily, she has had an interesting life. After she divorced Ellen's father, she married a man she refers to only as "B" who was abusive to both her and Ellen. Of course, there is a lot about Ellen's life in here too. Betty quotes letters Ellen wrote to her through the years and she writes in detail about the period in Ellen's life when she decided to come out publicly as a lesbian. If you are a fan of Ellen's brother Vance DeGeneres you should know that there is a little bit about him in the book but it's definitely more about Ellen and Betty.
This book was written when Ellen and Anne Heche were still together and Anne was still masquerading as someone not completely bonkers (in my opinion). I cringed a little every time Betty referred to Anne as her other daughter. However, that's just one more way in which Betty is completely supportive of Ellen - she welcomed Ellen's partner with open arms right from the beginning of their relationship.
Betty DeGeneres is an inspiring example of a woman who loves her children unconditionally. Betty isn't perfect and she knows that. She writes about her mistakes as well as her successes in life. This is a wonderful book for pretty much everyone - Ellen fans, Betty fans, LGBT people and allies.
March 8, 2010
This was pretty good. A lot like a family biography. Ellen's mom is candid, open, and kind. The only thing I didn't like was that she started off by saying she wanted to write the book to tell her story of how she was able to accept Ellen as a lesbian. She hoped it would help other parents.
Well, it was more of a biography that included coming out stories from other gay people she's met. I felt like she meandered so much that she lost the focus of her original intent. It sounded like it was difficult for her at first, but decided to love Ellen anyway and then the rest of the book she is supportive and accepting. I could never quite pin point the moment of her acceptance. I suppose it was a process.
I did like learning about the Degeneres family and that Ellen's being gay didn't change or taint any of their experiences as a family as Ellen grew up.
Her stereotyping of religious opposition to homosexuality came across harshly and I didn't like that. The idea that "kindness has no boundaries" (a line from The Help that I just finished and LOVED!) was apparent in the book, which I also liked.
Well, it was more of a biography that included coming out stories from other gay people she's met. I felt like she meandered so much that she lost the focus of her original intent. It sounded like it was difficult for her at first, but decided to love Ellen anyway and then the rest of the book she is supportive and accepting. I could never quite pin point the moment of her acceptance. I suppose it was a process.
I did like learning about the Degeneres family and that Ellen's being gay didn't change or taint any of their experiences as a family as Ellen grew up.
Her stereotyping of religious opposition to homosexuality came across harshly and I didn't like that. The idea that "kindness has no boundaries" (a line from The Help that I just finished and LOVED!) was apparent in the book, which I also liked.
May 17, 2010
This was a really great memoir. I now know more about Ellen DeGeneres than I ever did. I respect and admire Betty and Ellen significantly for what they have accomplished and for what they continue to do.
I will admit that I was slightly disappointed in this memoir because I was expecting it to be mostly about Ellen's coming out experiences and how it affected everyone in her life. A good portion of the book was about how the author was raised, her marriages & divorces, etc. It seemed more like an autobiography.
Other than that, the book was great and I would definitely recommend reading it.
I will admit that I was slightly disappointed in this memoir because I was expecting it to be mostly about Ellen's coming out experiences and how it affected everyone in her life. A good portion of the book was about how the author was raised, her marriages & divorces, etc. It seemed more like an autobiography.
Other than that, the book was great and I would definitely recommend reading it.
April 19, 2014
When I bought this book, I thought it would be more about Ellen DeGeneres, but it is mainly a memoir of Betty DeGeneres', Ellen's mother. It follows Betty through her upbringing, marriages and children and ultimately, to her role as spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project (1997), after Ellen's coming out as a lesbian. It is basically a story of love and friendship between mother and daughter, and a lesson in understanding for parents. The book, written in 1999, ends there, but Betty DeGeneres continues to be an outspoken advocate for the LGBT community, and a staunch supporter of both of her children, Ellen and Vance, both in the entertainment industry in L.A.
April 19, 2016
I love Ellen and have always thought her relationship with her mom was very sweet and close. I was interested in reading this because I thought it would be focused on that relationship. While, there's certainly a good bit in the book about their love, it is primarily an autobiography so the focus is on Betty's life. The focus of the book is to help other parents who have gay children. I found it interesting and the writing is fine, but it just wasn't what I had expected, so that is why my rating is 2.5 stars. I still love Ellen and have great respect for her mom and her bravery and loving nature!
January 17, 2019
I enjoyed reading about her story about her growing up, her 3 marriages and her kids. It was something I never knew about Betty. There were a lot of themes on home, family and marriage, which got me to think about what she learnt personally, as well as what these terms mean in the context of the society in those days, compared to present day.
I didn't really enjoy the back because it started to get more repetitive and she kept talking about coming out stories from other gay people, or families she's met—so much so that I forgot their names and who she's referring to. I think she sidetracked and drifted off from her main aim—which is to talk about her process of rejection to acceptance.
She also sounded more and more biased. As one reviewer here said, "Her stereotyping of religious opposition to homosexuality came across harshly and I didn't like that." She sounded angry in the way she wrote. In my opinion, everybody is allowed to have beliefs, it only becomes wrong when 1) you try to impose your beliefs on someone else or; 2) you hurt/discriminate someone because of your beliefs. The author was point-blank very disapproving of Christians who just simply didn't support homosexuality, which did not open up doors for discussion like I hoped the book would.
I didn't really enjoy the back because it started to get more repetitive and she kept talking about coming out stories from other gay people, or families she's met—so much so that I forgot their names and who she's referring to. I think she sidetracked and drifted off from her main aim—which is to talk about her process of rejection to acceptance.
She also sounded more and more biased. As one reviewer here said, "Her stereotyping of religious opposition to homosexuality came across harshly and I didn't like that." She sounded angry in the way she wrote. In my opinion, everybody is allowed to have beliefs, it only becomes wrong when 1) you try to impose your beliefs on someone else or; 2) you hurt/discriminate someone because of your beliefs. The author was point-blank very disapproving of Christians who just simply didn't support homosexuality, which did not open up doors for discussion like I hoped the book would.
May 7, 2025
Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay sons and daughters can change their parents' lives forever.
Twenty years ago, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother during a walk on a Mississippi beach.
That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.
This moving memoir shows how a mother can support her daughter. Betty was also willing to share some of her mistakes in her life regarding her daughter, and I think it is important to know this to show how difficult it is for both the child and the mother to come out.
Also, along with coming out, the family faced other traumas.
This is an inspirational story that was worth reading.
Twenty years ago, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother during a walk on a Mississippi beach.
That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.
This moving memoir shows how a mother can support her daughter. Betty was also willing to share some of her mistakes in her life regarding her daughter, and I think it is important to know this to show how difficult it is for both the child and the mother to come out.
Also, along with coming out, the family faced other traumas.
This is an inspirational story that was worth reading.
July 19, 2018
I was surprised to find that this book was more about Ellen's mother than it was about Ellen. I was a little disappointed that more material about Ellen wasn't included, but Ellen's mother is an interesting person and has had many adventures worth telling.
The author addresses the problems she and Ellen and others faced after Ellen told her mother, Betty, about her sexuality. The author tells about her many feelings as a mother and how her thoughts changed as she accepted Ellen's sexuality. Eventually Betty became active as an advocate for gay rights.
The book was published when Ellen had a previous partner; but even considering the length of time since the book was written and published, I think this book may still help people who are struggling with accepting friends or family who have recently come out of the closet.
The author addresses the problems she and Ellen and others faced after Ellen told her mother, Betty, about her sexuality. The author tells about her many feelings as a mother and how her thoughts changed as she accepted Ellen's sexuality. Eventually Betty became active as an advocate for gay rights.
The book was published when Ellen had a previous partner; but even considering the length of time since the book was written and published, I think this book may still help people who are struggling with accepting friends or family who have recently come out of the closet.
September 8, 2018
This book came up as a free one on my Kindle and I saw Ellen DeGeneres on the front of it so decided to give it a try.
I think this book really wants to be one thing but ends up being something else. It was good, but it was more the life story of Betty DeGeneres than it was the story of turning from initial shock to acceptance of a gay loved one. Though that was included, it was more the last few chapters and a few snippets here and there in the rest of the book. I actually enjoyed the last few chapters the most.
I think this book really wants to be one thing but ends up being something else. It was good, but it was more the life story of Betty DeGeneres than it was the story of turning from initial shock to acceptance of a gay loved one. Though that was included, it was more the last few chapters and a few snippets here and there in the rest of the book. I actually enjoyed the last few chapters the most.
June 20, 2017
What a powerful message of love and acceptance. Betty tells her story and how her life changed when Ellen told her, "Mom, I'm gay." I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is part of the LGBTQ community, has a family member or friend who is LGBTQ, or really anyone at all who has to live in today's world where this is still an issue. Despite being written in 1999 this is still a strong, inspiring message of unconditional love that I think everyone should hear.
April 27, 2019
Betty is a good writer, making you feel at ease when reading. However, it didn’t seem to flow when she tried to mix in the equality sentiments within her story. She went from past to present back to past within the same few paragraphs and it seemed forced, albeit authentic. I also didn’t realize that the book is essentially an autobiography about Ellen’s mom. Not a bad read, but kind of like me writing an autobiography about myself - do you care to know all about my life?
October 6, 2019
As someone who has lived the journey of many of the people Betty DeGeneres wrote about, I throughly enjoyed her book. She spreads a message of love, hope, and acceptance through the lens of a mother trying to ensure those very things for her own daughter. Many of the stories she tells hit home so profoundly and I thank her for being that accepting mother advocating for all of those who don’t have the same love she brings to the world.
July 2, 2018
A Welcome Surprise
I am not sure what I was expecting, but this book went above and beyond. Though I very rarely watch television, I love Ellen. Her mom Betty did a wonderful job taking the reader along the journey that she and her family travelled with Ellen's career and her groundbreaking revelation of being gay. Worth the read.
I am not sure what I was expecting, but this book went above and beyond. Though I very rarely watch television, I love Ellen. Her mom Betty did a wonderful job taking the reader along the journey that she and her family travelled with Ellen's career and her groundbreaking revelation of being gay. Worth the read.
March 16, 2019
I enjoyed reading about Ellen from her mother's perspective. I can relate to many things about Ellen and her coming out as my sister is gay. I was very proud of the show Ellen did that featured coming out. Thank you, Mrs. DeGeneres, for a good book that puts being gay into the proper perspective. Everyone should read this.
March 18, 2019
Be prepared for reality
The analytical approach of this story that covers three generations of a family, exposes the mindset and thinking of eras from the depression to the 20th century. The impact of the religious precepts and belief held at different times coloured the thinking of the author.
The analytical approach of this story that covers three generations of a family, exposes the mindset and thinking of eras from the depression to the 20th century. The impact of the religious precepts and belief held at different times coloured the thinking of the author.
May 11, 2019
Why can't we all just be accepted for who and what we are?
A very enriched and loving peace overcomes you from reading this book. It makes you want the humans in this world of ours to just get along, no hate, just love and understanding. Betty made the journey to show us it is all possible.
A very enriched and loving peace overcomes you from reading this book. It makes you want the humans in this world of ours to just get along, no hate, just love and understanding. Betty made the journey to show us it is all possible.
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