My Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives

by Michael J. Diamond

A powerful depiction of the unexplored reciprocal relationship between fathers and sons. For decades, mothers were thought to be the only real influence on a child. Now we recognize that the father's involvement also has a profound impact, but how sons affect their fathers is too-often overlooked. In My Father Before Me psychoanalyst Michael J. Diamond firmly establishes fatherhood as an essential event for both the son's and the father's development. With chapters analyzing the father/son relationship throughout the life cycle, and demonstrating the powerful influence between them, Diamond calls for a more inclusive notion of masculinity, thus allowing men to access parts of themselves they previously ignored. He argues that sons are largely responsible for helping their fathers embrace this more flexible notion of manhood, making them better partners and better parents. Diamond has written an important book that enables us to make sense of the question: what does it truly mean to be a man.

Genres: Parenting

239 pages, Hardcover

First published February 19, 2007

About the author

Michael J. Diamond, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst and the author/co-author of three books including: The Second Century of Psychoanalysis: Evolving Perspectives on Therapeutic Action (Karnac, 2011 - with C. Christian); My Father Before Me: How Fathers & Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives (Norton, 2007); and, Becoming A Father: Contemporary Social, Developmental, and Clinical Perspectives (Springer, 1995 - with J.L. Shapiro & M. Greenberg). Dr. Diamond received his doctorate in psychology from Stanford University and completed his psychoanalytic training at the Los Angeles Institute and Society for Psychoanalytic Studies, where he is currently a training and supervising analyst. He is also an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and is on the teaching and supervising faculty at the Wright Institute Los Angeles. He has published numerous journal articles and book chapters in the areas of psychoanalytic theory and technique, gender and masculinity, parenting and fathering, and trauma, dissociation, and hypnosis. His work is recognized internationally and he is an award recipient for his writing, teaching, and analytic clinical work. He currently lives and practices in Los Angeles.

Reviews

[Nick Klagge · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because my dad had read it (amusingly we are the only two people to have reviewed it on Goodreads to date), but I ended up being pretty disappointed with it. The author is a psychoanalyst, and his emphasis is fairly heavy on the classic psychoanalytical tropes. In general I find those to be pretty unconvincing, and particularly because I recently read Carol Gilligan's masterful takedown of Freud's theories of moral development.

[15158014290 · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is amazing,i don't know why rarely peaple remark.
it describes when a man grow old, what you feel and what you should do in every phase.
i like it ,it will be a great fortune in my life,and i will treate my son and my father more good result from this book.
retrospect the days, when i laid off, i can't controll my temper, i meaned to my son,i always regret what i had down for my son，but as you know i love him, he is the most important children in life.
from now on, no matter what happened to me, i will treat my son lovely and doting.

[Esther · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this up as part of character research for a protagonist with an absent father. Nice chapter-by-chapter delineation of male life stages and how fathers assist or block their sons' development. Came up with ample food-for-thought notes.