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Going Up: 333 Things To Say And Do In An Elevator
Yours truly travels in elevators quite often (not really) and I’m well aware they can occasionally be rather self-conscious and unexciting settings. To ease the tedium and occasional monotony of these recurring brief journeys, you’ll no doubt be exceptionally excited to learn that I’ve compiled a register of my 333 most favourite things to say or do whilst in an elevator.
To be perfectly frontal, this book exists simply because I can’t be everywhere. So learn from these words of wisdom citizens. Study it, commit it to memory. It shall provide you with some of my credible skills and knowledge which will render both you and your fellow traveler’s journey just that more memorable. Well, at least that’s the principal motivation behind this remarkable volume.
It’s disappointingly true that my adoring Readers can be divided into two quite distinct categories. Those that are ‘sharp as a tack’ and those that are not ‘on the ball’. I personally wish this could be different, however market research advises me that both demographics buy books, so I guess I just have to grin and bear it.
Anyway, for those more clever bastards which look between the lines of my words, please read on.
Life, like elevators, has its ups and downs. Fellow travelers come and go. Some voyage beside you for a long time, others just for a short ride. For those fascinating moments however when we are to be found, perhaps by fate, together in the confines of the same small locale, I feel there is no need for silence, unease or gracelessness.
Go forth citizens, spread that which must be spread. Tell your fellow travelers that it’s OK to converse, interact and, God forbid, bond. We’re only walking upon this planet’s surface for a short time so why not make its more tedious moments a more pleasurable experience.
Oh Shit… my Marketing Department now advises that there is a 3rd demographic which I should be made aware of. Namely, the complete and utter moron. And apparently these are the ones that more often than not pay hard-earned cash for my books. Well, I just don’t know what to say to you cretins apart from “Thank-You !”
Perhaps elevators can be seen as some pictogram of Life, but really, when you think about it, they are just square boxes which go up and down all day long.
Boring ‘eh. Yes… but then again that’s the freakin‘ point !
Kindest regards
David ‘Davo’ De Silva
Feel free to categorize yourself as to which group you belong, despite what everyone else says or thinks.
To be perfectly frontal, this book exists simply because I can’t be everywhere. So learn from these words of wisdom citizens. Study it, commit it to memory. It shall provide you with some of my credible skills and knowledge which will render both you and your fellow traveler’s journey just that more memorable. Well, at least that’s the principal motivation behind this remarkable volume.
It’s disappointingly true that my adoring Readers can be divided into two quite distinct categories. Those that are ‘sharp as a tack’ and those that are not ‘on the ball’. I personally wish this could be different, however market research advises me that both demographics buy books, so I guess I just have to grin and bear it.
Anyway, for those more clever bastards which look between the lines of my words, please read on.
Life, like elevators, has its ups and downs. Fellow travelers come and go. Some voyage beside you for a long time, others just for a short ride. For those fascinating moments however when we are to be found, perhaps by fate, together in the confines of the same small locale, I feel there is no need for silence, unease or gracelessness.
Go forth citizens, spread that which must be spread. Tell your fellow travelers that it’s OK to converse, interact and, God forbid, bond. We’re only walking upon this planet’s surface for a short time so why not make its more tedious moments a more pleasurable experience.
Oh Shit… my Marketing Department now advises that there is a 3rd demographic which I should be made aware of. Namely, the complete and utter moron. And apparently these are the ones that more often than not pay hard-earned cash for my books. Well, I just don’t know what to say to you cretins apart from “Thank-You !”
Perhaps elevators can be seen as some pictogram of Life, but really, when you think about it, they are just square boxes which go up and down all day long.
Boring ‘eh. Yes… but then again that’s the freakin‘ point !
Kindest regards
David ‘Davo’ De Silva
Feel free to categorize yourself as to which group you belong, despite what everyone else says or thinks.
74 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 30, 2022
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