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Doctor Who: Virgin New Adventures #12
Doctor Who: The Pit
For two weeks now it has been the same message again and again, and it’s getting stronger; death and destruction, the end of all things, ARMAGEDDON.
In an attempt to lift the Doctor out of his irritable and erratic mood, Bernice suggests he investigates the mystery of the Seven Planets - an entire planetary system that disappeared without trace several decades before Bernice was born.
One of the Seven Planets is a nameless giant, quarantined against all intruders. But when the TARDIS materializes, it becomes clear that the planet has other visitors: a hit-squad of killer androids; a trespassing scientist and his wife; and two shape-changing criminals with their team of slaves.
As riot and anarchy spread on the system’s colonized worlds, the Doctor is flung into another universe while Bernice closes in on the horror that is about to be unleashed - a horror that comes from a terrible secret in the Time Lords’ past.
In an attempt to lift the Doctor out of his irritable and erratic mood, Bernice suggests he investigates the mystery of the Seven Planets - an entire planetary system that disappeared without trace several decades before Bernice was born.
One of the Seven Planets is a nameless giant, quarantined against all intruders. But when the TARDIS materializes, it becomes clear that the planet has other visitors: a hit-squad of killer androids; a trespassing scientist and his wife; and two shape-changing criminals with their team of slaves.
As riot and anarchy spread on the system’s colonized worlds, the Doctor is flung into another universe while Bernice closes in on the horror that is about to be unleashed - a horror that comes from a terrible secret in the Time Lords’ past.
276 pages, Paperback
First published March 18, 1993
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July 27, 2017Doctor Who - the New Adventures: guidelines for writers...
1. Open with a quote from some epic, portentous work, ideally the book of revelation. Something that says THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE AND SERIOUS AND APOCALYPTIC. Though obviously you will actually say that as well, repeatedly, at regular intervals.
2. Next, introduce a plethora of disparate characters and locations, though avoid actual characterisation or any sense of where the locations are or how they are connected. Obviously you are creating a sense of expectation by leading the reader to think everything will come together and make sense in the end: for extra mystery, make sure it doesn't.
3. Eventually (and only eventually) introduce the Doctor, his companion and his space time machine the TARDIS, all with laboured detail as if writing for a reader who has never heard of Doctor Who. Then conclude the chapter in a way that will only make sense to someone with an encyclopaedic knowledge of its every aspect. Actually it shouldn't entirely make sense to that kind of person either, but that's okay because nor will the rest of the book.
4. This Doctor bears only a vague, superficial resemblance to the one off the telly. What he says is only ever irrelevant whimsy or pseudo-philosophical claptrap. He has no ability to interact with other people, least of all his companion Bernice who knows never to expect a comforting word or a hug, whatever awful thing she has been through. He has little eccentric habits that, again, you will not recognise from any previous realisation, or indeed any kind of reality - this Doctor often whistles the sound made by the TARDIS, dontcha know, even though it is a sound that completely defies whistling. You should be finding the Doctor utterly insufferable by page 50, in spite of the fact that he hardly features in the story because you haven't found anything important for him to do.
5. Don't worry too much about the story. Stuff needs to happen - lots and lots of stuff, on a really huge scale - but it doesn't need a reason or explanation. In fact, do everything you can to avoid it making sense - frenetically switch from one unrelated scene to another, introduce completely new ideas or characters out of the blue, chuck in some completely inexplicable twists. You know how kids make stuff up in the playground? Like that.
6. Also for no reason, a person from history appears and has nothing at all to do with the story. William Blake, for instance. Why the hell not?!
7. Drugs are involved. They will resemble actual drugs but ought to have a naff sci-fi name to make it sound more glamorous than cocaine.
8. Write in short sentences to create a serious, documentary feel - and also to prevent anything from ever becoming at all involving.
9. You can get through a lot of plot by eschewing dialogue and detail and just describing events as a quick synopsis. This will leave room for irrelevant digressions about the meaning of life, the inevitability of death, the tragedy of childhood, the nature of faith, or whatever else you like. This will do instead of characterisation and make people think the book is, like, really deep, man.
10. Out of nowhere, throw in Victorian London and a Jack the Ripper subplot. Why the hell not?!
11. Bernice Summerfield has been established as one of the best Doctor Who companions ever conceived, so no need to work very hard on her bits. Just be sure to remind readers that she has a sense of humour by writing every now and then, and for no reason at all, 'Bernice laughed suddenly'.
12. UNIT troops appear. Why the hell not?!
13. Time Lord history will turn out, in ways that needn't make sense, to be somehow central to what, in other circumstances, would be a plot, but here should be considered more a montage of fanwankery. Gallifrey blah, Rassilon blah, and some of your own ideas for good measure.
14. Keep on writing until all the characters are dead.
...honestly, I admire the ambition of the New Adventures and love that they genuinely took the franchise somewhere it has never been before or since, but this. is. awful.
1. Open with a quote from some epic, portentous work, ideally the book of revelation. Something that says THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE AND SERIOUS AND APOCALYPTIC. Though obviously you will actually say that as well, repeatedly, at regular intervals.
2. Next, introduce a plethora of disparate characters and locations, though avoid actual characterisation or any sense of where the locations are or how they are connected. Obviously you are creating a sense of expectation by leading the reader to think everything will come together and make sense in the end: for extra mystery, make sure it doesn't.
3. Eventually (and only eventually) introduce the Doctor, his companion and his space time machine the TARDIS, all with laboured detail as if writing for a reader who has never heard of Doctor Who. Then conclude the chapter in a way that will only make sense to someone with an encyclopaedic knowledge of its every aspect. Actually it shouldn't entirely make sense to that kind of person either, but that's okay because nor will the rest of the book.
4. This Doctor bears only a vague, superficial resemblance to the one off the telly. What he says is only ever irrelevant whimsy or pseudo-philosophical claptrap. He has no ability to interact with other people, least of all his companion Bernice who knows never to expect a comforting word or a hug, whatever awful thing she has been through. He has little eccentric habits that, again, you will not recognise from any previous realisation, or indeed any kind of reality - this Doctor often whistles the sound made by the TARDIS, dontcha know, even though it is a sound that completely defies whistling. You should be finding the Doctor utterly insufferable by page 50, in spite of the fact that he hardly features in the story because you haven't found anything important for him to do.
5. Don't worry too much about the story. Stuff needs to happen - lots and lots of stuff, on a really huge scale - but it doesn't need a reason or explanation. In fact, do everything you can to avoid it making sense - frenetically switch from one unrelated scene to another, introduce completely new ideas or characters out of the blue, chuck in some completely inexplicable twists. You know how kids make stuff up in the playground? Like that.
6. Also for no reason, a person from history appears and has nothing at all to do with the story. William Blake, for instance. Why the hell not?!
7. Drugs are involved. They will resemble actual drugs but ought to have a naff sci-fi name to make it sound more glamorous than cocaine.
8. Write in short sentences to create a serious, documentary feel - and also to prevent anything from ever becoming at all involving.
9. You can get through a lot of plot by eschewing dialogue and detail and just describing events as a quick synopsis. This will leave room for irrelevant digressions about the meaning of life, the inevitability of death, the tragedy of childhood, the nature of faith, or whatever else you like. This will do instead of characterisation and make people think the book is, like, really deep, man.
10. Out of nowhere, throw in Victorian London and a Jack the Ripper subplot. Why the hell not?!
11. Bernice Summerfield has been established as one of the best Doctor Who companions ever conceived, so no need to work very hard on her bits. Just be sure to remind readers that she has a sense of humour by writing every now and then, and for no reason at all, 'Bernice laughed suddenly'.
12. UNIT troops appear. Why the hell not?!
13. Time Lord history will turn out, in ways that needn't make sense, to be somehow central to what, in other circumstances, would be a plot, but here should be considered more a montage of fanwankery. Gallifrey blah, Rassilon blah, and some of your own ideas for good measure.
14. Keep on writing until all the characters are dead.
...honestly, I admire the ambition of the New Adventures and love that they genuinely took the franchise somewhere it has never been before or since, but this. is. awful.
December 28, 2024
Do you ever feel, with all the pain and suffering you have experienced and seen, that there is no hope?
I am probably in the minority that does not absolutely hate and despise this novel. Admittedly, I don't love or maybe even do not respect it (on that front, I am not sure) but I don't think it's terrible. For sure, there are worse novels (in my eyes).
While this novel is largely remembered because Andy Lane said it was the template of what not to do within the New Adventures, I lean more towards the view of Stacey Smith? who described it as a "historical curiosity". If this thing was published later in the NAs, its view of the Doctor (who is more of a piece than the chessmaster) might be as a purposeful subversion of Seven's character. Its tone prefaces the grimdark tone of Jim Mortimore and bleak (though not the comedic) tone of Dave Stone. Indeed, this can be viewed as a preface to pieces of The Book of the War.
Beyond this, though, the novel is... alright. The sections on Nicaea don't really have anything to do with the plot at large, the Doctor's reverence of Kopyion is... weird. In the hands of someone like Lawrence Miles or maybe Jim Mortimore or Dave Stone this would be a really good novel but Penswick is not as skilled (at this point in his career) as them. I do think that the biggest flaw of this novel is that Peter Darvill-Evans didn't give it enough time for its plot threads to congeal and Penswick to improve as an author. As it stands, this is just a historical curiosity when it could have been something much greater.
I am probably in the minority that does not absolutely hate and despise this novel. Admittedly, I don't love or maybe even do not respect it (on that front, I am not sure) but I don't think it's terrible. For sure, there are worse novels (in my eyes).
While this novel is largely remembered because Andy Lane said it was the template of what not to do within the New Adventures, I lean more towards the view of Stacey Smith? who described it as a "historical curiosity". If this thing was published later in the NAs, its view of the Doctor (who is more of a piece than the chessmaster) might be as a purposeful subversion of Seven's character. Its tone prefaces the grimdark tone of Jim Mortimore and bleak (though not the comedic) tone of Dave Stone. Indeed, this can be viewed as a preface to pieces of The Book of the War.
Beyond this, though, the novel is... alright. The sections on Nicaea don't really have anything to do with the plot at large, the Doctor's reverence of Kopyion is... weird. In the hands of someone like Lawrence Miles or maybe Jim Mortimore or Dave Stone this would be a really good novel but Penswick is not as skilled (at this point in his career) as them. I do think that the biggest flaw of this novel is that Peter Darvill-Evans didn't give it enough time for its plot threads to congeal and Penswick to improve as an author. As it stands, this is just a historical curiosity when it could have been something much greater.
January 4, 2020
Reread 2020;
Hurray, thank god that finished! Always seems to feel like an age this book towards the end...
-
Goodreads rating: 3/5 stars.
My ratings: 3.5 stars.
The Pit by Neil Penswick.
Now where can I start with this review? First of all, I think this book deserves a lot more positive reviews than it does with negatives and I think it is unfairly rated most of the time. I can see why people hate it as at some point in the books it does feel as though it goes on and on and there is nothing happening BUT, the twists and turns Neil has put this book make it worth while.
I really think Neil has the potential to be a great writer but I think the Pit-the setting and story line it is in; could have worked far better in it's own original science fiction universe rather than the Doctor Who EU universe as we barely get any Bernice chapters and let alone, see the Doctor do what he normally does.
On that note however, it has been great to see other people's point of views and those that live in the seven planets grow. Especially the Androids like Spike or Thomas whose chapters I found the most intriguing. Carlson has also been another interesting character and felt like he could have his own detective spin-off if he stopped mopping most of the time in front of Kopyion.
I also really liked William Blake being the companion of the Doctor in this one and how he is taking culture shock very well. It has been interesting seeing him how he copes with travelling from one universe to the other.
Now the bits I did enjoy however, was Neil's interpretation of Gallifrey and Gallifreyan language.
I don't think there has been a Who novel before up until the Pit to feature Gallifreyan language but Neil did it quite well-but now it makes me really want to hear Gallifreyan language on a big finish audio at some point. But I did enjoy learning more about Gallifrey's long bloody wars rather than just being it about the Vampires and Racnosses.
Overall, I enjoyed this more than I did with Transit and possibly, the Highest Science. This was a political conspiracy where all the characters are not who they appear to be and starting a revolution which spirals out of control.
However-here are some of my favourite snippets of the book without giving away too much:
Putting the needle in his mouth, the stranger said, ‘By the way, I’m the Doctor.“
"My name is Blake. William Blake.
The Doctor stopped. The poet? Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright, In the Forests of the night?”
“I am pleased you know my work. Yes.”
The Doctor held out his hand and seemed genuinely pleased to meet Blake. “My granddaughter loved your work.
-
"Where are you from?" Blake asked.
"Gallifrey," Said the Doctor.
"Where's that?"
"It's a planet in the constellation of Kasteborus. Go to the centre of the universe and veer left."
-
Hurray, thank god that finished! Always seems to feel like an age this book towards the end...
-
Goodreads rating: 3/5 stars.
My ratings: 3.5 stars.
The Pit by Neil Penswick.
Now where can I start with this review? First of all, I think this book deserves a lot more positive reviews than it does with negatives and I think it is unfairly rated most of the time. I can see why people hate it as at some point in the books it does feel as though it goes on and on and there is nothing happening BUT, the twists and turns Neil has put this book make it worth while.
I really think Neil has the potential to be a great writer but I think the Pit-the setting and story line it is in; could have worked far better in it's own original science fiction universe rather than the Doctor Who EU universe as we barely get any Bernice chapters and let alone, see the Doctor do what he normally does.
On that note however, it has been great to see other people's point of views and those that live in the seven planets grow. Especially the Androids like Spike or Thomas whose chapters I found the most intriguing. Carlson has also been another interesting character and felt like he could have his own detective spin-off if he stopped mopping most of the time in front of Kopyion.
I also really liked William Blake being the companion of the Doctor in this one and how he is taking culture shock very well. It has been interesting seeing him how he copes with travelling from one universe to the other.
Now the bits I did enjoy however, was Neil's interpretation of Gallifrey and Gallifreyan language.
I don't think there has been a Who novel before up until the Pit to feature Gallifreyan language but Neil did it quite well-but now it makes me really want to hear Gallifreyan language on a big finish audio at some point. But I did enjoy learning more about Gallifrey's long bloody wars rather than just being it about the Vampires and Racnosses.
Overall, I enjoyed this more than I did with Transit and possibly, the Highest Science. This was a political conspiracy where all the characters are not who they appear to be and starting a revolution which spirals out of control.
However-here are some of my favourite snippets of the book without giving away too much:
Putting the needle in his mouth, the stranger said, ‘By the way, I’m the Doctor.“
"My name is Blake. William Blake.
The Doctor stopped. The poet? Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright, In the Forests of the night?”
“I am pleased you know my work. Yes.”
The Doctor held out his hand and seemed genuinely pleased to meet Blake. “My granddaughter loved your work.
-
"Where are you from?" Blake asked.
"Gallifrey," Said the Doctor.
"Where's that?"
"It's a planet in the constellation of Kasteborus. Go to the centre of the universe and veer left."
-
November 2, 2024
I picked up four Doctor Who Adventures from the charity shop and I have to say, I see why it’s in the charity shop. As an introduction to what on earth happened during the Wilderness years and what Doctor Who fans received, I must say it’s an awful introduction. The characters are boring, the writing short and simple and it just completely and utterly bored me. How on earth I read this in two sittings is beyond me. I adore the Seventh Doctor on screen but here I don’t like him. He’s one of my favourite Classic Doctors. Also fuck the companion of Bernice Summerfield.
The New Doctor Adventures #12
The New Doctor Adventures #12
May 29, 2008
Horrible mish mash that feels like the writer had ideas for two or three stories but was only going to get to write one so he jams them all together.
Lots of fairly uninteresting people ( including the poet William Blake) wandering around a hostile alien world looking for something. Lots of people die and when they finally find the something it makes little sense and gives you the sneaking feeling this whole book has just been the set up for another story or part one of something.
With the New Adventures, I'm generally love them or hate them.
This was not a love book.
Lots of fairly uninteresting people ( including the poet William Blake) wandering around a hostile alien world looking for something. Lots of people die and when they finally find the something it makes little sense and gives you the sneaking feeling this whole book has just been the set up for another story or part one of something.
With the New Adventures, I'm generally love them or hate them.
This was not a love book.
February 14, 2013
A tough slog through a doom-laden, nihilistic story with stiff, unappealing characters. Thematically, on the other hand, there's a lot to admire here. It doesn't really work as a story, but there's loads of fascinating ideas in play. This novel has immense ambition, but the story is a seemingly arbitrary series of disparate events, and the constant tone of hopelessness and despair (while thematically appropriate and crucial) doesn't make for a fun read.
July 18, 2021
I've previously skipped this entry due to its "Worst. Episode. Ever." reputation, but I rattled through it and really enjoyed it. Yes, the story is that lots of 'characters' go to an impossible place, plot happens to them, it's all a Rassilon/Omega based trap, but isn't that true of The Three Doctors, The Five Doctors etc.? And this has added Blake and Biblical allusions!
March 28, 2025
I have to admit, i was kind of looking forward to this one. Regarded as possibly the worst doctor who novel ever written (with the lowest GR score) out of every single DW book, i knew i had to give it a read and see if it was as bad as everyone said it was. So was it? ...eh? not really?
So first and foremost, was this book GOOD? no. no it wasn't. but it wasn't horrifyingly awful either. it was, i'd say, slightly below average. The main issues with this book were it was nihilistic as well as there were TOO MANY locations, characters, and stories going on at once.
The plot to this book is almost too hard to describe, but i'll try. So essentially bernice wants to check out why this group of planets exploded in her past. The doc goes with her and they end up on this planet where, (let's see if i get this right) 2 shapeshifters and their slaves are stealing a giant nuke so they can get money and riches. 4 androids are sent to the planet to stop them. However, an android gets separated and travels with bernice. (b/c of course bernice and doc separate like immediately and for the whole book) meanwhile doc teams up with a poet from the 1800's after he walks through a timehole. while this is going on, on another planet, a group of people are dealing with ritualistic murders and riots from the people. also there's the wife of a scientist who's dealing with this creeping red death that freezes you in time.
Like i said, there's too much going on. and i think i can see why people didn't like this one. It feels very very schizophrenic. there's too many POV's, too many stories, and too many characters. it feels aimless like it doesn't really know what to do. Honestly, i think this story would have been a LOT tighter if they just removed the parts on the planet with the murders and the riots. i was so confused when they jumped back to those scenes, i thought i was reading a different book. it didn't really connect with...well ANYTHING and was just very confusing. If they had gotten rid of those i think the story would have been much tighter and made more sense.
The other issue with the book is that it's one of those "it would have done the same thing whether the doc was there or not" books. you know, like 'genocide' or 'Fall of Yquatine'. So if you're expecting the doctor to actually you know....DO anything in this one, the cover of him being unconscious is an accurate representation of what he does in this one. aka, not a whole lot. the only thing he really DOES do is complain to a poet guy and talk about how they can't do anything. so there's that.
Probably the best thing about this book was the writing style. for as complicated as the plot was in this one, the wording was fine. it wasn't a "Cats Cradle: Time's Crucible" or a "Timewyrm: Revelations" where i'm sitting there like "what in god's name is happening?" even though i didn't understand the reason things were happening at times, i at least knew what WAS happening. That being said, it does give off a real "anti-spiritualism/nothing matters" nihilism vibe and for a series about a man fighting monsters made from stuff bought at the goodwill, they need to calm down.
Bernice is still not a good character. i don't think she's going to get much better. but the good thing is, starting next book i get Ace back at least. so we can spread the love out a bit. she's a know-it-all, boring, and just....meh. but at least her scenes where stuff happened were halfway interesting.
This book is a very hard one for me to pin down in terms of a score. Yes, this book is not good. that's true. but it's not the worst. this book is 100% a 2.5 out of 5. but, i will give it a 3 since i have to round up or down. i WISH it could be a 2.5, but you know, that's how it goes. right off the bat i can say there are worse books. not just overall in doctor who *coughvanderdekencough* but even in this series. like this book was WAY better than "Cats Cradle Time's crucible" and it was even better than "Transit" because, once again, i could actually understand the words that were written.
All in all, 2.5 out of 5 rounded up to a 3.
The best who book? hahaha noooo.
The worst who book? Nope, despite the ranking of "Worst who book ever" on GR, nah. it's not. not even really top 15 worst books material.
So first and foremost, was this book GOOD? no. no it wasn't. but it wasn't horrifyingly awful either. it was, i'd say, slightly below average. The main issues with this book were it was nihilistic as well as there were TOO MANY locations, characters, and stories going on at once.
The plot to this book is almost too hard to describe, but i'll try. So essentially bernice wants to check out why this group of planets exploded in her past. The doc goes with her and they end up on this planet where, (let's see if i get this right) 2 shapeshifters and their slaves are stealing a giant nuke so they can get money and riches. 4 androids are sent to the planet to stop them. However, an android gets separated and travels with bernice. (b/c of course bernice and doc separate like immediately and for the whole book) meanwhile doc teams up with a poet from the 1800's after he walks through a timehole. while this is going on, on another planet, a group of people are dealing with ritualistic murders and riots from the people. also there's the wife of a scientist who's dealing with this creeping red death that freezes you in time.
Like i said, there's too much going on. and i think i can see why people didn't like this one. It feels very very schizophrenic. there's too many POV's, too many stories, and too many characters. it feels aimless like it doesn't really know what to do. Honestly, i think this story would have been a LOT tighter if they just removed the parts on the planet with the murders and the riots. i was so confused when they jumped back to those scenes, i thought i was reading a different book. it didn't really connect with...well ANYTHING and was just very confusing. If they had gotten rid of those i think the story would have been much tighter and made more sense.
The other issue with the book is that it's one of those "it would have done the same thing whether the doc was there or not" books. you know, like 'genocide' or 'Fall of Yquatine'. So if you're expecting the doctor to actually you know....DO anything in this one, the cover of him being unconscious is an accurate representation of what he does in this one. aka, not a whole lot. the only thing he really DOES do is complain to a poet guy and talk about how they can't do anything. so there's that.
Probably the best thing about this book was the writing style. for as complicated as the plot was in this one, the wording was fine. it wasn't a "Cats Cradle: Time's Crucible" or a "Timewyrm: Revelations" where i'm sitting there like "what in god's name is happening?" even though i didn't understand the reason things were happening at times, i at least knew what WAS happening. That being said, it does give off a real "anti-spiritualism/nothing matters" nihilism vibe and for a series about a man fighting monsters made from stuff bought at the goodwill, they need to calm down.
Bernice is still not a good character. i don't think she's going to get much better. but the good thing is, starting next book i get Ace back at least. so we can spread the love out a bit. she's a know-it-all, boring, and just....meh. but at least her scenes where stuff happened were halfway interesting.
This book is a very hard one for me to pin down in terms of a score. Yes, this book is not good. that's true. but it's not the worst. this book is 100% a 2.5 out of 5. but, i will give it a 3 since i have to round up or down. i WISH it could be a 2.5, but you know, that's how it goes. right off the bat i can say there are worse books. not just overall in doctor who *coughvanderdekencough* but even in this series. like this book was WAY better than "Cats Cradle Time's crucible" and it was even better than "Transit" because, once again, i could actually understand the words that were written.
All in all, 2.5 out of 5 rounded up to a 3.
The best who book? hahaha noooo.
The worst who book? Nope, despite the ranking of "Worst who book ever" on GR, nah. it's not. not even really top 15 worst books material.
March 21, 2023
"The Pit" has a reputation as one of the worst novels in the New Adventures series. I have not read enough of them to make that assessment, but I can say it is a proper mess of a novel. I think this mess happens because Penswick has a concept, but not a plot. The concept is basically Doctor Who inside the book of Revelation. The question, then, for Penswick is how he is going to get the major elements of that story into this one. Penswick tries to create a sprawling epic of a novel, with action in three major locations focused primarily on three characters - The Doctor, Bernice, and the enigmatic Kopyion. To add mystery and misdirection to the story, Penswick relates the events of these three characters and locations primarily through side characters, though Bernice gets more internal monologue than the other two primary characters. Thus, we see The Doctor's part primarily through the famous poet William Blake's perspective, Kopyion's part primarily through his underling Carlson's perspective, and Bernice's part primarily through the android soldier Spike's perspective. There are numerous other side characters necessary to keep the contraption running, and parts of the story get told from their perspective, but once they have served that function, Penswick then kills them off in particularly nasty ways, except for Blake whom he cannot kill off but probably really wanted to.
The problem here is that the events on the three locations do not logically relate. This is particularly true of events on the planet Nicaea. Society is breaking down into total anarchy, yet what has this anarchy to do with events on the Planet Without a Name or with The Doctor wandering through holes in reality to alternate universes (or are they? another thing Penswick never bothers to make clear). The Doctor and Bernice never go to Nicaea, so what is all that action, nearly half of the novel, doing here?
One could go on about all the things in this book that just do not make sense. For instance, the androids are thoroughly inconsistent in concept. Are they "metal men" (walking toasters as Benny describes them) or organic simulations of humans? Both, but only when needed to be. And what about the Nicaean religion? All this stuff about the Prime Mover (God) and the Form Manipulator (Satan) suggests some kind of technological origin of Nicaean society, and that Nicaean society was created to fulfill some machine's or organization's purpose. Yet, that avenue is never explored, nor is it fit into the resolution. Why is half of The Planet with No Name artificially created by the company that makes the androids? On and on it goes.
Then, one gets to Penswick's conception of The Doctor. Here, The Doctor is utterly useless. He spends most the novel completely lost, making snide and cryptic comments to Blake, showing none of his usual compassion and good humor, and has no part in the Deus ex Machina ending of the novel.
Blake is also useless and unnecessary. William Blake is here used not as a guide for The Doctor, as Vergil was for Dante, but as a commentator to point to the correct thematic interpretation of the action for the reader. Fulfilling this function means that no more thought went into the character of Blake or why from the standpoint of realistic action rather than thematic convenience, it is William Blake of all the humans throughout history who ends up in the pit. Penswick's Blake is an anachronism, who does not think or talk in early 19th-century ways, but in 20th-century clichés.
To summarize, "The Pit" has many interesting ideas, all of which go nowhere. There is not much of a plot; instead, the "story" is mostly a situation. The story has more loose ends than a rope ladder cut in half lengthwise. The Doctor Who elements are almost completely unrecognizable. The story is disturbingly violent and grim from beginning to end.
The problem here is that the events on the three locations do not logically relate. This is particularly true of events on the planet Nicaea. Society is breaking down into total anarchy, yet what has this anarchy to do with events on the Planet Without a Name or with The Doctor wandering through holes in reality to alternate universes (or are they? another thing Penswick never bothers to make clear). The Doctor and Bernice never go to Nicaea, so what is all that action, nearly half of the novel, doing here?
One could go on about all the things in this book that just do not make sense. For instance, the androids are thoroughly inconsistent in concept. Are they "metal men" (walking toasters as Benny describes them) or organic simulations of humans? Both, but only when needed to be. And what about the Nicaean religion? All this stuff about the Prime Mover (God) and the Form Manipulator (Satan) suggests some kind of technological origin of Nicaean society, and that Nicaean society was created to fulfill some machine's or organization's purpose. Yet, that avenue is never explored, nor is it fit into the resolution. Why is half of The Planet with No Name artificially created by the company that makes the androids? On and on it goes.
Then, one gets to Penswick's conception of The Doctor. Here, The Doctor is utterly useless. He spends most the novel completely lost, making snide and cryptic comments to Blake, showing none of his usual compassion and good humor, and has no part in the Deus ex Machina ending of the novel.
Blake is also useless and unnecessary. William Blake is here used not as a guide for The Doctor, as Vergil was for Dante, but as a commentator to point to the correct thematic interpretation of the action for the reader. Fulfilling this function means that no more thought went into the character of Blake or why from the standpoint of realistic action rather than thematic convenience, it is William Blake of all the humans throughout history who ends up in the pit. Penswick's Blake is an anachronism, who does not think or talk in early 19th-century ways, but in 20th-century clichés.
To summarize, "The Pit" has many interesting ideas, all of which go nowhere. There is not much of a plot; instead, the "story" is mostly a situation. The story has more loose ends than a rope ladder cut in half lengthwise. The Doctor Who elements are almost completely unrecognizable. The story is disturbingly violent and grim from beginning to end.
January 21, 2025
Honestly one of the most hilariously incoherent books I've read in a very long time. I hadn't read any reviews before I leapt in, and if I wasn't on a mission to read all the Doctor Who novels, I wouldn't have lasted to the end.
Lots of things happen. But none of them actually seem to be connected. Bernice runs around a planet with some cyborgs who are evil, but then they aren't really. Then they meet some tiny, very fragile, goblin men who have been enslaved by shapeshifters, but for some reason Bernice goes in swinging, killing loads of the poor goblins for no apparent reason. Also, one of the goblins is psychic and spends a lot of time screaming.
There's an albino character at one point (literally one or two pages), who is evil, because obviously all albino people are evil in sci-fi.
The Doctor, on the other hand, spends his time saying mysterious things and then getting beaten up. Genuinely, he gets beaten up like three separate times for no reason and achieves bugger all. And William Blake is also there for some reason. I don't know why William Blake had to be there, or why he had to have such inane and faux-deep discussions with the Doctor as:
'"How Long have I been asleep?' Blake asked.
"What is time?" the Doctor replied enigmatically.'
That's an actual extract from the book.
I also laughed out loud when William Blake is reflecting on God and it says:
'He didn't think there was a God. He had seen no sign of His existence in his journey with the Doctor.'
Thus far, his journey has consisted of watching the Doctor get beaten up by aliens, seeing some blue, alien boobies, watching the Doctor get beaten up by street urchins, and meeting an ancient space wizard. In fairness, none of that is evidence of God's existence, but it's not really enough of a rigorous philosophical exploration of the meaning of life to draw any conclusions.
Lots of things happen. But none of them actually seem to be connected. Bernice runs around a planet with some cyborgs who are evil, but then they aren't really. Then they meet some tiny, very fragile, goblin men who have been enslaved by shapeshifters, but for some reason Bernice goes in swinging, killing loads of the poor goblins for no apparent reason. Also, one of the goblins is psychic and spends a lot of time screaming.
There's an albino character at one point (literally one or two pages), who is evil, because obviously all albino people are evil in sci-fi.
The Doctor, on the other hand, spends his time saying mysterious things and then getting beaten up. Genuinely, he gets beaten up like three separate times for no reason and achieves bugger all. And William Blake is also there for some reason. I don't know why William Blake had to be there, or why he had to have such inane and faux-deep discussions with the Doctor as:
'"How Long have I been asleep?' Blake asked.
"What is time?" the Doctor replied enigmatically.'
That's an actual extract from the book.
I also laughed out loud when William Blake is reflecting on God and it says:
'He didn't think there was a God. He had seen no sign of His existence in his journey with the Doctor.'
Thus far, his journey has consisted of watching the Doctor get beaten up by aliens, seeing some blue, alien boobies, watching the Doctor get beaten up by street urchins, and meeting an ancient space wizard. In fairness, none of that is evidence of God's existence, but it's not really enough of a rigorous philosophical exploration of the meaning of life to draw any conclusions.
February 16, 2020
1.5/5
There were a few bits I sort of liked, but for the most part it was a mess. There's so many things I could talk about with this book but I'll try to limit myself.
- I swear Penswick doesn't actually know what the Seventh Doctor looks like. There was maybe one description in the entire book that sounded anything like him
- He clearly wants some kind of deep reflection on the nature of God and mankind's relationship with religion in here. He is not a good enough writer for this. The book is definitely not clever enough for this.
- Often the novel will use short sentences for long periods at a time. Penswick probably thinks it creates drama. It really just makes it boring to read. Especially when it's not used in an especially dramatic moment.
- Normally I don't think the advice 'show don't tell' is all that helpful because it's pretty overly simplistic and doesn't actually explain what it means, but the prose in this is what that advice is telling you not to do.
- In general he's just not a good writer. I read a paragraph out to my dad and burst out laughing because I couldn't take the phrase 'cancerous rag doll' seriously, even though it's clearly meant to be a deeply tragic moment.
- The plot's potentially interesting, and the end twist could be engaging, but in practice it just feels all over the place, and the final threat doesn't really have any build up. For example, the scenes on Nicaea have such a small bearing on the final reveal that they might not as well have been used - why jump away from your main characters so much when you can barely tie in the other plot to your actual climax (again, maybe it could've worked. But it didn't. And the use of so many plotlines, constantly switching between them, wasn't handled well.)
There were a few bits I sort of liked, but for the most part it was a mess. There's so many things I could talk about with this book but I'll try to limit myself.
- I swear Penswick doesn't actually know what the Seventh Doctor looks like. There was maybe one description in the entire book that sounded anything like him
- He clearly wants some kind of deep reflection on the nature of God and mankind's relationship with religion in here. He is not a good enough writer for this. The book is definitely not clever enough for this.
- Often the novel will use short sentences for long periods at a time. Penswick probably thinks it creates drama. It really just makes it boring to read. Especially when it's not used in an especially dramatic moment.
- Normally I don't think the advice 'show don't tell' is all that helpful because it's pretty overly simplistic and doesn't actually explain what it means, but the prose in this is what that advice is telling you not to do.
- In general he's just not a good writer. I read a paragraph out to my dad and burst out laughing because I couldn't take the phrase 'cancerous rag doll' seriously, even though it's clearly meant to be a deeply tragic moment.
- The plot's potentially interesting, and the end twist could be engaging, but in practice it just feels all over the place, and the final threat doesn't really have any build up. For example, the scenes on Nicaea have such a small bearing on the final reveal that they might not as well have been used - why jump away from your main characters so much when you can barely tie in the other plot to your actual climax (again, maybe it could've worked. But it didn't. And the use of so many plotlines, constantly switching between them, wasn't handled well.)
December 11, 2023
THIS IS NOT A REVIEW OF THE BOOK.
Considering this book has the worst rating out of all 84 VNAs by a margin of something like .7 (oof), I had intended on skipping it entirely. But in my Google searches about it, I came across an abridged fan made audio drama adaption (linked below) and thought, well why not review that instead. And well, the number one thing I can say about it is, boy it's brisk. If you take out opening and ending credits, it's only about 45 minutes or so. After reading the wiki synopsis for this book, I now realize that whole subplots are entirely removed, and many scenes are shortened down to about 25 seconds. It's very easy to miss major plot threads at this pace so you can't be distracted for anything here. I kind of liked the plot, which had the doctor being thrown through holes in time along with famous writer William Blake, while Benny and dying cop android Spike have to struggle to survive on a dangerous planet. I liked the dynamics of both duos, with the Doctor and especially Benny being portrayed pretty well. I think they did a good job adapting what they did, but it definitely could have benefited from having some more time to breathe. And considering the channel has done longer audio adaptions in the past, I wondered why this one was so brief. But maybe they truly got all the best elements and left the reasons why the story gets lore scores behind, I can't say. Anyway it was fun listening to this and I would maybe check out some of the others too. I'm happy I got through the worst VNA in the most painless way possible tho, and to anyone about to skip it as well, I'd say consider listening to this like I did. Or, I mean, you could probably just skip it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BP2isVp...
Considering this book has the worst rating out of all 84 VNAs by a margin of something like .7 (oof), I had intended on skipping it entirely. But in my Google searches about it, I came across an abridged fan made audio drama adaption (linked below) and thought, well why not review that instead. And well, the number one thing I can say about it is, boy it's brisk. If you take out opening and ending credits, it's only about 45 minutes or so. After reading the wiki synopsis for this book, I now realize that whole subplots are entirely removed, and many scenes are shortened down to about 25 seconds. It's very easy to miss major plot threads at this pace so you can't be distracted for anything here. I kind of liked the plot, which had the doctor being thrown through holes in time along with famous writer William Blake, while Benny and dying cop android Spike have to struggle to survive on a dangerous planet. I liked the dynamics of both duos, with the Doctor and especially Benny being portrayed pretty well. I think they did a good job adapting what they did, but it definitely could have benefited from having some more time to breathe. And considering the channel has done longer audio adaptions in the past, I wondered why this one was so brief. But maybe they truly got all the best elements and left the reasons why the story gets lore scores behind, I can't say. Anyway it was fun listening to this and I would maybe check out some of the others too. I'm happy I got through the worst VNA in the most painless way possible tho, and to anyone about to skip it as well, I'd say consider listening to this like I did. Or, I mean, you could probably just skip it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BP2isVp...
March 21, 2019
If you want to read some New Adventures, someone will mention The Pit: the worst of the worst, apparently. I agree it’s bad. Sadly I’ve read worse.
Neil Penswick has some interesting ideas, like a psychic secret service, a scientific expedition by a man and wife on a strange world, a planet torn apart by civil war, the impending doom of seven planets, the Doctor meeting William Blake... trouble is, it’s more a pile of ideas than a story, and it cuts between them like mad. Penswick’s style favours very short sentences, which gets irritating after a while. And the prose has some hilariously misjudged moments, like calling a law force The Justice Police, tediously explaining the speed a vehicle is going, or telling us someone is pleased the Doctor didn’t rape them. (!) There are also clichés, like a grizzled cop who’s seen it all, which is taking its toll on his marriage. Oy. It’s a muddled mess.
The Doctor is fairly out of character, spilling all sorts of stuff to William Blake at the drop of a hat. What happened to Mr Question Mark? If you’re wondering why he included Blake, keep wondering: the man isn’t interesting to be around. Bernice potters around in a subplot because, once again, the author doesn’t seem invested in her. She sounds unlike herself otherwise, asking clumsy questions.
There’s very little to recommend other than saying, overall, it’s slightly more interesting and slightly less painful than you may have heard. Obviously still skip it if you only want to read good books.
3/10
Neil Penswick has some interesting ideas, like a psychic secret service, a scientific expedition by a man and wife on a strange world, a planet torn apart by civil war, the impending doom of seven planets, the Doctor meeting William Blake... trouble is, it’s more a pile of ideas than a story, and it cuts between them like mad. Penswick’s style favours very short sentences, which gets irritating after a while. And the prose has some hilariously misjudged moments, like calling a law force The Justice Police, tediously explaining the speed a vehicle is going, or telling us someone is pleased the Doctor didn’t rape them. (!) There are also clichés, like a grizzled cop who’s seen it all, which is taking its toll on his marriage. Oy. It’s a muddled mess.
The Doctor is fairly out of character, spilling all sorts of stuff to William Blake at the drop of a hat. What happened to Mr Question Mark? If you’re wondering why he included Blake, keep wondering: the man isn’t interesting to be around. Bernice potters around in a subplot because, once again, the author doesn’t seem invested in her. She sounds unlike herself otherwise, asking clumsy questions.
There’s very little to recommend other than saying, overall, it’s slightly more interesting and slightly less painful than you may have heard. Obviously still skip it if you only want to read good books.
3/10
June 2, 2018
Reading this in order, knowing the plot and the style, something I came to realise. The book is actually really boring.
For a start it is not doing anything that interesting. The Doctor forced to face a world of chaos and put in a no win situation, done better in The Highest Science. The violence, prostitutes, drugs and disconcerting style, done better in Transit. The attempts to do a new take on early Time Lord mythology, done better in Time's Crucible. I know some fans cite this as having a great atmosphere but to me it felt too distant.
The characterisation was also so odd I can only assume it was the planet somehow affecting them all. The Doctor is completely ineffectual, just battered around by events. Bernice rarely has any personality, although there is a nice bit about her family (interestingly the first story since Love and War where she is not specifically having her mind affected). William Blake is completely flat and it doesn't even make sense as an origin story of his stories as he references his later work as already written.
By the end it did not feel like even an experiment but actually like a bad replay of earlier books in the series. Is it the worst book in the run like it is often claimed? Well it probably is so far but I will have to see if any others are worse as it goes on.
For a start it is not doing anything that interesting. The Doctor forced to face a world of chaos and put in a no win situation, done better in The Highest Science. The violence, prostitutes, drugs and disconcerting style, done better in Transit. The attempts to do a new take on early Time Lord mythology, done better in Time's Crucible. I know some fans cite this as having a great atmosphere but to me it felt too distant.
The characterisation was also so odd I can only assume it was the planet somehow affecting them all. The Doctor is completely ineffectual, just battered around by events. Bernice rarely has any personality, although there is a nice bit about her family (interestingly the first story since Love and War where she is not specifically having her mind affected). William Blake is completely flat and it doesn't even make sense as an origin story of his stories as he references his later work as already written.
By the end it did not feel like even an experiment but actually like a bad replay of earlier books in the series. Is it the worst book in the run like it is often claimed? Well it probably is so far but I will have to see if any others are worse as it goes on.
March 19, 2025
'Have you been to Earth?' Blake asked.
The Doctor nodded.
'What is the future of mankind?' Blake asked.
The Doctor looked pensive, as if wondering whether to tell Blake some pertinent fact.
Blake said, 'I foresee a glorious tomorrow for humanity. In the last twenty years forces have been unleashed which will transform the civilisations of the world. The Americas rebelled against British tyranny and stood up for truth and justice; the French overthrew their aristocratic heirs, destroyed the Bastille and the common man took his rightful place as the arbiter of his own destiny.'
[...]
The Doctor looked at him. 'The future of mankind? Remember these words—Auschwitz, Stalingrad, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Just words. Gladys Aylward, Mother Theresa, Albert Schweitzer. Just names. Somewhere between the words and the names lies the future of mankind.'
Blake was mystified. 'I don't understand.'
The Doctor stopped walking. 'No, neither do I.'
Surprisingly fine, given its reputation, with some really sparkling dialogue (but also people saying 'agghghhhh'). Penswick isn't a natural novelist, but his ideas are good, and at least Bernice gets something to do.
The Doctor nodded.
'What is the future of mankind?' Blake asked.
The Doctor looked pensive, as if wondering whether to tell Blake some pertinent fact.
Blake said, 'I foresee a glorious tomorrow for humanity. In the last twenty years forces have been unleashed which will transform the civilisations of the world. The Americas rebelled against British tyranny and stood up for truth and justice; the French overthrew their aristocratic heirs, destroyed the Bastille and the common man took his rightful place as the arbiter of his own destiny.'
[...]
The Doctor looked at him. 'The future of mankind? Remember these words—Auschwitz, Stalingrad, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Just words. Gladys Aylward, Mother Theresa, Albert Schweitzer. Just names. Somewhere between the words and the names lies the future of mankind.'
Blake was mystified. 'I don't understand.'
The Doctor stopped walking. 'No, neither do I.'
Surprisingly fine, given its reputation, with some really sparkling dialogue (but also people saying 'agghghhhh'). Penswick isn't a natural novelist, but his ideas are good, and at least Bernice gets something to do.
May 17, 2022
I was quite luck in that I went quite a few VNAs without hitting any properly naff ones, but much like death, shit books are inevitable. From the off this was one where looking at it on my shelf I didn’t feel any excitement and given it took me 2 months to read, it’s safe to say that was a justified hesitance. A thousand uninteresting plots went on and there were about 4 chapters that genuinely interested me. The Doctor and Benny are split up for most of the book, Benny with some android assassins, and the Doctor with some bloke from the past who’s name I can’t remember. It was better than just having them stuck together and wandering round as if this were a really lame 70s TV story, but given the main plot and endgame were so naff I couldn’t care. Two shapeshifting dwarfs, some robot, ancient artefact, and basically those blue people from Avatar. No, it wasn’t interesting in the slightest.
Surprisingly the androids were the characters of most interest, given the Doctor spends the whole book wandering round remarking ‘interesting’ every now and then. The androids have clear autonomy and all have different personalities, they show courage, some show strong emotion and they drive the plot forward more than any of the main protagonists. Bernice is good but doesn’t really do much, just tags along with one of the androids as they wander through the forest. I quite liked the Doctor’s companion in this one, a famous poet or something as he offered a different perspective of what’s going on based on his 18th century values and perception. On the whole the characters in the book are fine, and are somewhat worth investing your interest into, it’s just the plot and villains which suck.
Two shapeshifting dwarves seems to be intended as humour, that doesn’t work. They just wander round, trying to kill the protagonists and then hatch their plan to get the most recent ‘ultimate weapon’ in the Dr Who universe. That idea is almost as repetitive a cliché as the constant reveals that a non corporeal entity is the villain of stories. I mean it’s not really the ultimate weapon because it doesn’t even work properly. We spend the whole book waiting for the climax, and all that happens is these tiring dwarves are easily dealt with and it ends. It’s almost as if the author spent so much time getting the set up done that he forgot the book was due to be sent off in twelve hours and had to quickly write an ending. Don’t even ask me about the avatar people by the way, they do nothing apart from show up and throw a few spears. It’s so underwhelming, as is the unintended running theme of the book.
It does suffer because of the way the Doctor is written, given it has to be slightly off with the whole ‘alien goo makes him a dick’ arc, but it’s just not enjoyable to read. I mean we get to see more of Benny and that’s nice as she’s only just recently joined the Tardis but still, this book offers very little and does the bare minimum to keep you interested. Next one looks good though!
Surprisingly the androids were the characters of most interest, given the Doctor spends the whole book wandering round remarking ‘interesting’ every now and then. The androids have clear autonomy and all have different personalities, they show courage, some show strong emotion and they drive the plot forward more than any of the main protagonists. Bernice is good but doesn’t really do much, just tags along with one of the androids as they wander through the forest. I quite liked the Doctor’s companion in this one, a famous poet or something as he offered a different perspective of what’s going on based on his 18th century values and perception. On the whole the characters in the book are fine, and are somewhat worth investing your interest into, it’s just the plot and villains which suck.
Two shapeshifting dwarves seems to be intended as humour, that doesn’t work. They just wander round, trying to kill the protagonists and then hatch their plan to get the most recent ‘ultimate weapon’ in the Dr Who universe. That idea is almost as repetitive a cliché as the constant reveals that a non corporeal entity is the villain of stories. I mean it’s not really the ultimate weapon because it doesn’t even work properly. We spend the whole book waiting for the climax, and all that happens is these tiring dwarves are easily dealt with and it ends. It’s almost as if the author spent so much time getting the set up done that he forgot the book was due to be sent off in twelve hours and had to quickly write an ending. Don’t even ask me about the avatar people by the way, they do nothing apart from show up and throw a few spears. It’s so underwhelming, as is the unintended running theme of the book.
It does suffer because of the way the Doctor is written, given it has to be slightly off with the whole ‘alien goo makes him a dick’ arc, but it’s just not enjoyable to read. I mean we get to see more of Benny and that’s nice as she’s only just recently joined the Tardis but still, this book offers very little and does the bare minimum to keep you interested. Next one looks good though!
August 14, 2022
It was fine. Not even mediocre, just fine. Erring towards badly contemptuous and too heavily brooding; Penswick writes a novel that snarkily tells you how well-read he is. Largely shock value — Certainly the sort of novel that a critic of the VNAs would point to as a sterling example of the series's faults. The absolute epitome of a 4/10. I can't even call it *bad* because it isn't even offensive enough, but it's inflictive enough that you can't call it mediocre. A baffling book, and I'll admit I'm not entirely sure what Virgin saw in it before publishing - They likely fell for the novel's false pretence that its cleverer than it really is. If dark books that rant about how smart they are without actually showing anything to assert their claim is your thing, give it a go. Otherwise just... fine.
February 2, 2021
Well, perceived fan wisdom would have you believe that this book is terrible. It's not. But it does fail many times, on many levels throughout its story.
The plot, while an interesting and intriguing concept, is very disjointed and bloated with characters and subplots, some of which are never concluded.
One character in particular makes it to the end of the book and never, and I mean NEVER serves a purpose to the story.
This book, as I've noticed with many of the "New Adventure" novels, separates Bernice and the Doctor throughout the entire story.
There are a few things I like. I particularly enjoyed Bernice and the android, Spike and their short time together.
Overall it is one of the books in the series that I like the least, but its not as bad as many make it out to be.
The plot, while an interesting and intriguing concept, is very disjointed and bloated with characters and subplots, some of which are never concluded.
One character in particular makes it to the end of the book and never, and I mean NEVER serves a purpose to the story.
This book, as I've noticed with many of the "New Adventure" novels, separates Bernice and the Doctor throughout the entire story.
There are a few things I like. I particularly enjoyed Bernice and the android, Spike and their short time together.
Overall it is one of the books in the series that I like the least, but its not as bad as many make it out to be.
January 20, 2025
Overstuffed and Underdeveloped
The Pit is a novel brimming with intriguing ideas but suffers from poor pacing, scattered focus, and underdeveloped characters. While its exploration of Gallifreyan lore and the inclusion of William Blake provide flashes of interest, the book ultimately collapses under the weight of its ambition. Fans of the VNAs may appreciate the attempt to push boundaries, but the lack of cohesion makes this an uneven and frustrating read.
📝50/100
Full review at https://tardis.guide/reviews/story-th...
The Pit is a novel brimming with intriguing ideas but suffers from poor pacing, scattered focus, and underdeveloped characters. While its exploration of Gallifreyan lore and the inclusion of William Blake provide flashes of interest, the book ultimately collapses under the weight of its ambition. Fans of the VNAs may appreciate the attempt to push boundaries, but the lack of cohesion makes this an uneven and frustrating read.
📝50/100
Full review at https://tardis.guide/reviews/story-th...
July 10, 2025
Generally, I seem to go against fan wisdom, I rattled through Transit and enjoyed it as a book, but in this case it's right about The Pit.
Nothing seems to happen for the majority of the books, random people you don't care about seem to do things for no real reason (and that includes Benny who's had a rough few early books). Even Blake is wasted not feeling like a character at all, it's easy to forget that he's in the book at all.
Then the plot happens, and everything ends without the Doctor doing anything!
It's not terribly written, for a tie-in book, but just dull.
Nothing seems to happen for the majority of the books, random people you don't care about seem to do things for no real reason (and that includes Benny who's had a rough few early books). Even Blake is wasted not feeling like a character at all, it's easy to forget that he's in the book at all.
Then the plot happens, and everything ends without the Doctor doing anything!
It's not terribly written, for a tie-in book, but just dull.
December 27, 2022
Awful. I am currently re/reading the New Adventures. Just as as the series hits its stride we get this. A plotless disjointed mess with no destination. It would be easy to blame Neil Penswick, but this must have passed thru the hands of editors and they should never have allowed it to be published.
REASONS TO BUY
- To complete your set.
- It is the only Doctor Who book with tits on the cover.
- To spare someone inadvertantly reading it.
REASONS TO BUY
- To complete your set.
- It is the only Doctor Who book with tits on the cover.
- To spare someone inadvertantly reading it.
October 26, 2021
An original adventure for the Seventh Doctor and his companion Bernice Summerfield, and apparently one of the very worst original Doctor Who novels-but it's not one I actually found too bad.
Yes, it's over-written, as are a lot of Doctor Who novels, and the religious parallels are hardly unique. But I've read a lot worse. If you see a cheap copy, give it a go.
Yes, it's over-written, as are a lot of Doctor Who novels, and the religious parallels are hardly unique. But I've read a lot worse. If you see a cheap copy, give it a go.
September 3, 2024
This book is for the most part perfectly fine. The main problem is the ending which is honestly hugely anticlimactic. There's quite a few characters, even major ones, that don't contribute at all to the story. Positive notes are that I enjoy the little bit of 7 and Benny interaction we get and I like the concept of the story.
September 1, 2024
I think this is the first of the New Adventures that really feels like an edgy story full of death violence sex and bad writing, as they are said to be. As a result, far more entertaining than the majority of them have been, and I've finally got what I initially came for.
September 5, 2024
I like the general idea of the book and the android characters were fun, but the prose is quite abrupt and beige, the characters (especially the Doctor) are cold and ineffectual, and the plot got too bloated, especially when it introduced a Jack the Ripper side plot.
July 10, 2025
Not even sure why I finished it really. I think I kept hoping, as a doctor who fan, that it would get better. Wrong! This is not only the worst doctor who book I have ever read, but quiet possibly the worst book I have ever read of all time.
February 6, 2020
Starts well, but rambles on a bit and I couldn't remember what the actually plot was by the end of the book.
December 28, 2020
It’s a good book and a not good book and, overall, very confounding.
April 15, 2022
Not as bad as its reputation but still not very good. The prose has very little energy or momentum, and the three strands of the story all seem to plod along aimlessly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2022
Lots of potential interesting ideas, a lot of not doing much interesting with those ideas. Wasted potential.
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