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Leader Effectiveness Training: L.E.T. (Revised): "L.E.T."
L.E.T. has changed countless corporations and private businesses-including many Fortune 500 companies-with its down-to-earth communication and conflict resolution skills. Now, this indispensable source has been newly revised with updated research and timely case studies.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1977
50 people are currently reading
313 people want to read
About the author
Thomas Gordon
262 books70 followersThomas Gordon was an American clinical psychologist, student and later colleague of Carl Rogers. He was mainly known for his Gordon Method, primarily a method to improve relationships between parents and children that was later developed into a general communication method to improve all relationships.
Dr. Gordon spent more than 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed for building effective relationships. His model was based on a strong belief that the use of coercive power damages relationships. As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to build and maintain good relationships at home, school and at work. These skills, which include Active Listening, I-Messages and No-Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world. He first applied some of these methods in the 1950s as a consultant to business organizations. Then, in the early 60s, he developed the Parent Effectiveness Training course - commonly known as P.E.T. - and taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a Pasadena, CA cafeteria. The courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the U.S. to teach it in their communities. Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states.
In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr. Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999. In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards. Gordon Training International, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work.
Dr. Gordon spent more than 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed for building effective relationships. His model was based on a strong belief that the use of coercive power damages relationships. As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to build and maintain good relationships at home, school and at work. These skills, which include Active Listening, I-Messages and No-Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world. He first applied some of these methods in the 1950s as a consultant to business organizations. Then, in the early 60s, he developed the Parent Effectiveness Training course - commonly known as P.E.T. - and taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a Pasadena, CA cafeteria. The courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the U.S. to teach it in their communities. Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states.
In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr. Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999. In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards. Gordon Training International, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
February 9, 2020
I read this book because I could not get a copy of Parent Effectiveness Training at our library. So although I found the parts about supervisor / employee relationships interesting, they were not really relevant to me.
The essence of the book, however, can apply to many other relationships, including between spouses and between parents and children and between teachers and students.
It basically shows you how to let the person with the problem OWN the problem rather than trying to solve it for him.
This involves use of "I" and "me" rather than "you" so that he owns his problem.
He has a list of FOUR RESPONSES THAT FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING (p 54) and a list of TWELVE ROADBLOCKS THAT INHIBIT PROBLEM-SOLVING (p 50) that should be posted on the wall of every office.
FOUR RESPONSES THAT FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING
1. Door Openers: Would you like to talk about it? I'd be interested in knowing how you feel. Can I be of any help with this problem?
2. Passive Listening: the less you say, the more he is encouraged to say. Sometimes he just talks himself into an answer without you saying anything.
3. Acknowledgment Responses: Eye contact, nodding. Oh, Mmm-hmmm. Really, Interesting, Yeah, No fooling, I hear you, I see, I understand.
4. Active Listening: responding to the speaker with an acknowledgment of how he feels about the problem or about his situation. These comments mirror his comments. They are not judgmental and do not agree or disagree with him.
I don't know how to .... You're really stumped....
D_n it! Why can't... You're really angry...
Why the h_ll do I need to fill out 2 forms?... You're finding it too time-consuming and question its usefulness...
None of these responses remove the problem or take away the responsibility of the employee to solve the problem. But they do help him come to the solution without taking away his power and making him feel useless on the job. Your responsibility is to empower your employees so that they work better for you, not to micro-manage them or take over the problem because you feel you can do it better. Probably you can, but if you don't let them do it and you do it for them, you are now an employee and not a manager.
Many parents need to learn this skill of letting their children learn to do things for themselves, even though they will make mistakes. Your choice is to empower your children or do everything for them, having them leave home helpless (or not leave home at all).
TWELVE ROADBLOCKS THAT INHIBIT PROBLEM-SOLVING
1. Ordering, Directing, Commanding: Stop that, Go apologize to her, You must do this, You cannot do this.
2. Warning, Admonishing, Threatening: If you don't do this, then..., You better not try that...
3. Moralizing, Preaching, Imploring: You ought to try it; It is your duty to do this; I urge you to do this.
4. Advising, Giving Suggestions or Solutions: Why not take a different approach?; What I think you should do is...
5. Persuading with Lecturing, Logic, Arguing: The facts are in favor of...; Let me give you the facts; Experience tells us...; This is the right way...
6. Judging, Criticizing, Disagreeing, Blaming: You are acting foolishly; You didn't do it right; You are not thinking straight; You are out of line.
7. PRAISING, AGREEING, EVALUATING POSITIVELY, BUTTERING UP!!! : You usually have very good judgment; You are an intelligent person; You have always made it in the past; You've made quite a bit of progress.
8. Name-Calling, Ridiculing, Shaming: You're a sloppy worker; You're a fuzzy thinker; You really goofed...
9. Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing: You're saying this because you are angry; You are jealous; You are paranoid; You have problems with authority; You are doing this because you want to look good; What you really need is...
10. REASSURING, SYMPATHIZING, CONSOLING, SUPPORTING!!! : You'll feel different tomorrow; Things will get better; It'a always darkest before the dawn; In every cloud there's a silver lining; It's not that bad.
11. Probing, Questioning, Interrogating: Why did you do that/; How long have you felt this way?; What have you done to try to solve it?; Who has influenced you...?
12. Distracting, Diverting, Kidding: Think about the positive side; Try not to think about it until you are rested; That reminds me of the time when...; You think you've got problems.
Then there is much description of how to have the employee own the problem, with the manager using I-sentences rather than You-sentences: "When you leave out sensitive material, it makes me afraid because of consequences to the company and to my job." It keeps the problem the responsibility of the employee, rather than acting defensively to protect his self-esteem if you use one of the 12 roadblocks above... if you leave it out, you will be fired...
The rest of the book gives extensive case studies of actual situations with an analysis of what was said that was correct or incorrect, using these 4 steps and 12 roadblocks.
It also goes into management situations that I did not read because they were not relevant to me,
It is obvious that these skills, though effective, take a lot of training and practice to succeed at. But they are worthwhile skills.
Teachers who refuse to own the problem of their students rarely have discipline problems and rarely become angry at their students... because it is the problem of the student, not of them.
A book well worth reading, but it takes time to read properly.
The essence of the book, however, can apply to many other relationships, including between spouses and between parents and children and between teachers and students.
It basically shows you how to let the person with the problem OWN the problem rather than trying to solve it for him.
This involves use of "I" and "me" rather than "you" so that he owns his problem.
He has a list of FOUR RESPONSES THAT FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING (p 54) and a list of TWELVE ROADBLOCKS THAT INHIBIT PROBLEM-SOLVING (p 50) that should be posted on the wall of every office.
FOUR RESPONSES THAT FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING
1. Door Openers: Would you like to talk about it? I'd be interested in knowing how you feel. Can I be of any help with this problem?
2. Passive Listening: the less you say, the more he is encouraged to say. Sometimes he just talks himself into an answer without you saying anything.
3. Acknowledgment Responses: Eye contact, nodding. Oh, Mmm-hmmm. Really, Interesting, Yeah, No fooling, I hear you, I see, I understand.
4. Active Listening: responding to the speaker with an acknowledgment of how he feels about the problem or about his situation. These comments mirror his comments. They are not judgmental and do not agree or disagree with him.
I don't know how to .... You're really stumped....
D_n it! Why can't... You're really angry...
Why the h_ll do I need to fill out 2 forms?... You're finding it too time-consuming and question its usefulness...
None of these responses remove the problem or take away the responsibility of the employee to solve the problem. But they do help him come to the solution without taking away his power and making him feel useless on the job. Your responsibility is to empower your employees so that they work better for you, not to micro-manage them or take over the problem because you feel you can do it better. Probably you can, but if you don't let them do it and you do it for them, you are now an employee and not a manager.
Many parents need to learn this skill of letting their children learn to do things for themselves, even though they will make mistakes. Your choice is to empower your children or do everything for them, having them leave home helpless (or not leave home at all).
TWELVE ROADBLOCKS THAT INHIBIT PROBLEM-SOLVING
1. Ordering, Directing, Commanding: Stop that, Go apologize to her, You must do this, You cannot do this.
2. Warning, Admonishing, Threatening: If you don't do this, then..., You better not try that...
3. Moralizing, Preaching, Imploring: You ought to try it; It is your duty to do this; I urge you to do this.
4. Advising, Giving Suggestions or Solutions: Why not take a different approach?; What I think you should do is...
5. Persuading with Lecturing, Logic, Arguing: The facts are in favor of...; Let me give you the facts; Experience tells us...; This is the right way...
6. Judging, Criticizing, Disagreeing, Blaming: You are acting foolishly; You didn't do it right; You are not thinking straight; You are out of line.
7. PRAISING, AGREEING, EVALUATING POSITIVELY, BUTTERING UP!!! : You usually have very good judgment; You are an intelligent person; You have always made it in the past; You've made quite a bit of progress.
8. Name-Calling, Ridiculing, Shaming: You're a sloppy worker; You're a fuzzy thinker; You really goofed...
9. Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing: You're saying this because you are angry; You are jealous; You are paranoid; You have problems with authority; You are doing this because you want to look good; What you really need is...
10. REASSURING, SYMPATHIZING, CONSOLING, SUPPORTING!!! : You'll feel different tomorrow; Things will get better; It'a always darkest before the dawn; In every cloud there's a silver lining; It's not that bad.
11. Probing, Questioning, Interrogating: Why did you do that/; How long have you felt this way?; What have you done to try to solve it?; Who has influenced you...?
12. Distracting, Diverting, Kidding: Think about the positive side; Try not to think about it until you are rested; That reminds me of the time when...; You think you've got problems.
Then there is much description of how to have the employee own the problem, with the manager using I-sentences rather than You-sentences: "When you leave out sensitive material, it makes me afraid because of consequences to the company and to my job." It keeps the problem the responsibility of the employee, rather than acting defensively to protect his self-esteem if you use one of the 12 roadblocks above... if you leave it out, you will be fired...
The rest of the book gives extensive case studies of actual situations with an analysis of what was said that was correct or incorrect, using these 4 steps and 12 roadblocks.
It also goes into management situations that I did not read because they were not relevant to me,
It is obvious that these skills, though effective, take a lot of training and practice to succeed at. But they are worthwhile skills.
Teachers who refuse to own the problem of their students rarely have discipline problems and rarely become angry at their students... because it is the problem of the student, not of them.
A book well worth reading, but it takes time to read properly.
November 20, 2022
Pani m6tlema ja analyysima. V2ga p6hjalik, palju n2ited, h2id s6nastusi, mis oli kyll pisut naiivsed, aga siiski, paneb mind ehk 6iges suunas liikuma.
Soovitan lugemiseks yleyldiselt neile, kes t88tavad suuremas kollektiivis, alluva v6i juhina, et enda ja teiste k2itumist analyysida ja panna r6hku aktiivsele kuulamisele, sest v2ga lihtne on hakata end kaitstma.
Soovitan lugemiseks yleyldiselt neile, kes t88tavad suuremas kollektiivis, alluva v6i juhina, et enda ja teiste k2itumist analyysida ja panna r6hku aktiivsele kuulamisele, sest v2ga lihtne on hakata end kaitstma.
March 2, 2019
This is A REALLY concise book about leadership with multiple angles on also team management, task setting and goal achievement.
I listened to this as an audio book and was able to get a nice overview of the needs of people and how you can be a leader who empowers the growth of all those around you and at the same time rally a strong team to get a job well done.
Would definitely re-read the physical book and write up action plans to apply to my organisations.
I listened to this as an audio book and was able to get a nice overview of the needs of people and how you can be a leader who empowers the growth of all those around you and at the same time rally a strong team to get a job well done.
Would definitely re-read the physical book and write up action plans to apply to my organisations.
January 25, 2022
Easy to read, harder to apply in practice. Slightly utopic but if the learnings would be applied in the day by day life, the business life would be different then it’s today
Still a good book for managers & leaders to read
Still a good book for managers & leaders to read
March 25, 2022
Classic, fundamental ideas that will feel familiar as they have been socialized so much since publication. In a way that makes the book harder to read - it's easy to feel like, "I already know this" but the book serves as a gentle reminder that there's always room for a refresher.
June 28, 2020
This is a great review of the Parent/Teacher Effectives books which we read before.
January 5, 2021
I enjoyed reading this leadership book and wrote lots of notes from it.
December 25, 2022
Read this many years ago - and it is a top notch book to get a new leader started.
December 27, 2022
Boek in het Nederlands gelezen. Fijn om stil bij te staan, en mooi om over na te denken en toe te passen.
July 11, 2012
My initial impression was that it has to many anecdotes and not enough meat there is no bibliography, a skimpy table of contents et cetera. However as I started reading it I enjoyed it, and found that the contents actually seem useful.
I first encountered these concepts about 1983 as Parent Effectiveness Training which is based on his original work Group Centered Leadership published in 1955.
Parent Effectiveness Training did not work very well for me and my wife, and we eventually stopped using it.
However having gone through a Leader Effectiveness Training class this week, I now understand better when to apply to those tools and when they won't work, and feel that I will be much more effective using them now.
The world needs leaders, and good communication is essential to good leadership.
April 9, 2009
A new approach to management. Very interesting ... but not easy to implement.
If you do not want to be the typical dominant, all controlling leader but want to handle to it differently, than this book is a good one to read.
If you do not want to be the typical dominant, all controlling leader but want to handle to it differently, than this book is a good one to read.
February 4, 2017
I firmly believe that this was the best investment in my career. It is the best book in the Thomas Gordon series. I also consider myself fortunate that I have the opportunity to practice the described methods :)
December 4, 2011
Good book, learned a lot of skills that I can apply at work and elsewhere.
August 27, 2012
Fairly good practical guide to excercising leadership.
Read
September 12, 2016Actually I did read the Dutch edition "Effectief Leidinggeven"
August 17, 2009
Conflict resolution, win/win solutions, disadvantages of using power in any relationship
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews