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A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids About Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You Out
Turn back the clocks! Your sweet child has morphed into a teen. And it's no longer just a messy bedroom or an attitude with a capital "A" causing concern. There's a whole new range of issues on the horizon.
What if your daughter texts a naked picture to a "boyfriend..".which he then forwards to the entire class? What if your son becomes increasingly withdrawn...Or your child is being bullied online? Would you know what to do? You could read a whole book on teen psychology--but who has the time! As a parent, what you need most is quick and candid advice for dealing with the issue at hand. After all, if you say the right thing you will open up the lines of communication, but say the wrong thing...and WATCH OUT.
A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is the solution. Covering a broad range of issues from the terrifying (sex, drinking, drugs, depression) to the frustrating (defiance, laziness, conformity, entitlement), parenting expert Joani Geltman approaches each of the 80 topics with honesty and a dash of humor. Want to understand why teens do what they do? Joani reveals what they are thinking and feeling--and what developmental factors are involved. She then explains how to approach each problem in a way that lets your kid know you "get it" and leads to truly productive conversations.
From lying to sexting to falling grades, the teenage years can be an uphill battle. Here is the no-nonsense guide you need to get your teen talking, listening, and back on track.
What if your daughter texts a naked picture to a "boyfriend..".which he then forwards to the entire class? What if your son becomes increasingly withdrawn...Or your child is being bullied online? Would you know what to do? You could read a whole book on teen psychology--but who has the time! As a parent, what you need most is quick and candid advice for dealing with the issue at hand. After all, if you say the right thing you will open up the lines of communication, but say the wrong thing...and WATCH OUT.
A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is the solution. Covering a broad range of issues from the terrifying (sex, drinking, drugs, depression) to the frustrating (defiance, laziness, conformity, entitlement), parenting expert Joani Geltman approaches each of the 80 topics with honesty and a dash of humor. Want to understand why teens do what they do? Joani reveals what they are thinking and feeling--and what developmental factors are involved. She then explains how to approach each problem in a way that lets your kid know you "get it" and leads to truly productive conversations.
From lying to sexting to falling grades, the teenage years can be an uphill battle. Here is the no-nonsense guide you need to get your teen talking, listening, and back on track.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
46 people are currently reading
250 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
December 3, 2014
I really wanted to like this book. I thought it would be wonderful if parents could find some real help parenting their teens in an easy to read book. But I didn’t like the book. In fact, I simply can’t finish reading it.
Perhaps I am too old for this type of parenting. What I get from the book is that whatever the teen does is a result of some issue they have, or think they have, but are unwilling to discuss. It is the parents’ job to figure out what the real problem is and help them solve it.
The book also says that teens don’t and can’t think like adults. If that is true, then I and generations before me must have been advanced learners. By the time I was 10 years old I understood perfectly that my parents couldn’t afford to buy most things I wanted, so I didn’t try to make them feel bad by continuing to ask for everything. I, and others like me, knew our parents loved us and would buy us clothes, food, and things to the best they could afford. My parents knew I wasn’t stupid and could understand whatever I chose to understand. Therefore, they told me (and I was able to understand), if you want a better life for yourself and your future family, get a good education and don’t get distracted by kids and “stuff” that will divert you from your goal.
Contrary to what I felt the author was saying, parents are not responsible to provide the things that help their teens “fit in”. It might actually be a good thing to “not fit in”. If parents can’t afford the item(s) to help the teen fit in, then suck it up and grown up. They are teens after all, not babies anymore.
The author says that kids “forget” things often because they have a lot on their mind and get distracted. News flash, adults have a lot on their minds too and when an adult drops everything to take the “something forgotten” to school or wherever for the teen, it just reinforces bad habits. The author says the parent needs to help the teen find and develop “helps” so they can remember the next time. How about letting the teen suffer the consequences of forgetting the item, just like an adult does. A little “reality therapy” goes a long way to help one remember the next time.
My parents expected me to act like a civilized human being and not a spoiled brat, even at 10 years old. The author says ALL teenagers are narcissistic. Funny, previous generations of teens weren’t. Here is a quote from the author, “At my seminars and in my coaching sessions, parents often ask, “Is it unrealistic to expect that my teen gets ME?” “How about OUR hard day at work, and keeping up with the schedules and activities of our three children, and taking care of an aging parent?” “How hard is it for THEM to understand that parents are also stressed to the max and can’t always be available to “take me, show me, buy me”? “The short answer is it’s very hard.” “Your teen is a narcissist, plain and simple.” “But don’t worry.” “It’s not a lifetime personality disorder, just a short-term one.” I wonder if there is a guarantee that comes with that last statement. If being a narcissist as a teen works out pretty well, why would you stop? If you are not trained and taught correctly in the early years of life, what follows will be more of the same.
I do hope that those who read this book will find something useful for themselves and their teens.
I was provided a free copy of this book for review from AMACOM Books and Net Gallery. I was under no obligation to provide a favorable review.
Perhaps I am too old for this type of parenting. What I get from the book is that whatever the teen does is a result of some issue they have, or think they have, but are unwilling to discuss. It is the parents’ job to figure out what the real problem is and help them solve it.
The book also says that teens don’t and can’t think like adults. If that is true, then I and generations before me must have been advanced learners. By the time I was 10 years old I understood perfectly that my parents couldn’t afford to buy most things I wanted, so I didn’t try to make them feel bad by continuing to ask for everything. I, and others like me, knew our parents loved us and would buy us clothes, food, and things to the best they could afford. My parents knew I wasn’t stupid and could understand whatever I chose to understand. Therefore, they told me (and I was able to understand), if you want a better life for yourself and your future family, get a good education and don’t get distracted by kids and “stuff” that will divert you from your goal.
Contrary to what I felt the author was saying, parents are not responsible to provide the things that help their teens “fit in”. It might actually be a good thing to “not fit in”. If parents can’t afford the item(s) to help the teen fit in, then suck it up and grown up. They are teens after all, not babies anymore.
The author says that kids “forget” things often because they have a lot on their mind and get distracted. News flash, adults have a lot on their minds too and when an adult drops everything to take the “something forgotten” to school or wherever for the teen, it just reinforces bad habits. The author says the parent needs to help the teen find and develop “helps” so they can remember the next time. How about letting the teen suffer the consequences of forgetting the item, just like an adult does. A little “reality therapy” goes a long way to help one remember the next time.
My parents expected me to act like a civilized human being and not a spoiled brat, even at 10 years old. The author says ALL teenagers are narcissistic. Funny, previous generations of teens weren’t. Here is a quote from the author, “At my seminars and in my coaching sessions, parents often ask, “Is it unrealistic to expect that my teen gets ME?” “How about OUR hard day at work, and keeping up with the schedules and activities of our three children, and taking care of an aging parent?” “How hard is it for THEM to understand that parents are also stressed to the max and can’t always be available to “take me, show me, buy me”? “The short answer is it’s very hard.” “Your teen is a narcissist, plain and simple.” “But don’t worry.” “It’s not a lifetime personality disorder, just a short-term one.” I wonder if there is a guarantee that comes with that last statement. If being a narcissist as a teen works out pretty well, why would you stop? If you are not trained and taught correctly in the early years of life, what follows will be more of the same.
I do hope that those who read this book will find something useful for themselves and their teens.
I was provided a free copy of this book for review from AMACOM Books and Net Gallery. I was under no obligation to provide a favorable review.
April 20, 2018
Good advice for the most part, though I think there are likely better parenting books for teens (this is my first foray into teen parenting books). This book focused so much on the worst-case scenarios, that it felt a bit like fear mongering, though I do think her information was helpful. At the very end of the book Geltman tries to end on a positive note, but it was a bit too late for me. I would have liked a little thriving along with the surviving. Also the reference guide format made it a bit repetitive if read all at once.
January 27, 2023
Plain disrespectful.
I find it quite ironic that in this so called “survival guide”, Geltman alleges that teenagers, by basic nature, are monsters who commit the ultimate sin of “disrespect”, while she freely and unilaterally disrespects the character of teenagers. In this book, she continues to instruct parents to deny their teens full personhood and instead to infantilize them further. If they push back, isolate them from their friends or punish them for the most minor things. Do not read if you like seeing your teenagers as people instead of property.
I find it quite ironic that in this so called “survival guide”, Geltman alleges that teenagers, by basic nature, are monsters who commit the ultimate sin of “disrespect”, while she freely and unilaterally disrespects the character of teenagers. In this book, she continues to instruct parents to deny their teens full personhood and instead to infantilize them further. If they push back, isolate them from their friends or punish them for the most minor things. Do not read if you like seeing your teenagers as people instead of property.
August 17, 2019
Ugh. Why are books about parenting teens so awful? “Your kid is a narcissist and an asshole and has no-self-control, but it’s not his fault.” No. Teens absolutely can be self-absorbed and impulsive, but this book underestimated them, and it is SO gender binary. Girls, don’t dress showing any cleavage, or boys will think you want to have sex with them. It’s your fault for sending that message. Nah. Fuck that.
July 31, 2020
The beginning and end of this book was pretty helpful and provided some perspective. Skip the whole middle with outdated, odd, and outright bad advice about sex, gender, technology, and drugs and alcohol.
May 31, 2021
Would like to give it to every parent as a reference book. You can go directly to the chapters that worry you instead of reading the all the book. Amazing book.
November 5, 2014
If you are like most parents, talking to your teens about touchy subjects liked sexting, drinking, drugs and other risky behaviors ranks even lower on your list of things to do than getting a root canal. You know it’s going to be awkward, you’re not sure what to say, and you know your child wants to have the conversation even less than you do.
Joani Geltman, MSW, knows what you’re going through. A parent, Geltman also has four decades of experience working with young people, including as a psychology professor, a school counselor and social worker, a family therapist, and a parenting coach. Her book, A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids About Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You Out, could be just the thing you need to overcome your reluctance and have the conversations with your kids about important issues.
If you’re not facing a particular issue with your teens, you can read the book from front to back and cover all the topics Geltman brings up. If you have a specific issue, it’s easy to find and get her advice. The book is divided into 10 parts with 80 sections of advice and not all of the sections will make you want to lock your kids in their rooms and throw away the key. Some of them contain general life advice, like teaching money management, helping your teen with remembering things, and looking at your parenting style. Others, like the sections on sexting, social media posts, and teenage alcohol and drug use, can be eye opening.
For each issue, Geltman explains the problem, explains why it’s a problem, and offers a solution. Certainly, not every solution will resonate for you and your family. But overall, Geltman’s advice will arm you with knowledge and tools that you can use to better understand and parent your teen. I highly recommend it.
The publisher provided me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Joani Geltman, MSW, knows what you’re going through. A parent, Geltman also has four decades of experience working with young people, including as a psychology professor, a school counselor and social worker, a family therapist, and a parenting coach. Her book, A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids About Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You Out, could be just the thing you need to overcome your reluctance and have the conversations with your kids about important issues.
If you’re not facing a particular issue with your teens, you can read the book from front to back and cover all the topics Geltman brings up. If you have a specific issue, it’s easy to find and get her advice. The book is divided into 10 parts with 80 sections of advice and not all of the sections will make you want to lock your kids in their rooms and throw away the key. Some of them contain general life advice, like teaching money management, helping your teen with remembering things, and looking at your parenting style. Others, like the sections on sexting, social media posts, and teenage alcohol and drug use, can be eye opening.
For each issue, Geltman explains the problem, explains why it’s a problem, and offers a solution. Certainly, not every solution will resonate for you and your family. But overall, Geltman’s advice will arm you with knowledge and tools that you can use to better understand and parent your teen. I highly recommend it.
The publisher provided me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
April 17, 2014
It seems to be universally agreed that teenagers are not fun to parent. Joani Geltman doesn't exactly make it fun, but the way she has organized it should make parenting less stressful. She introduces each challenge in easy to recognize terms. She identifies the basic problem and she tells you how to solve it. How awesome is that? Before parents go out and start having parties in the streets, I have to warn you, that a lot of the advice contained in Geltman's book encourages you to step out of your level of awareness and consider the wild and crazy jungle of the teenage brain.
I commend Geltman for supporting parents in setting boundaries with teens when it comes to patience (or lack there of), entitlement, and consideration for others in general. For most people, these can be taught and when parents drop the ball, they leave the next generation of women with a bunch of failure to launch types. Everyone who has a teen needs one of these books for every room.
I commend Geltman for supporting parents in setting boundaries with teens when it comes to patience (or lack there of), entitlement, and consideration for others in general. For most people, these can be taught and when parents drop the ball, they leave the next generation of women with a bunch of failure to launch types. Everyone who has a teen needs one of these books for every room.
December 6, 2015
Joani Geltman’s easy-to-navigate book simplifies teenage topics in very short, understandable chapters. Broken into ten sections such as school, sex, drugs, college, etc., "A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens" allows you to easily skip around to find the topic that most interests you. Within each section, there are detailed chapters devoted to specific issues within the genre. (For example, the school section includes chapters on assessing achievement, time management and exam strategies.) Each chapter includes three parts- Here’s the Problem, Why It’s the Problem and Here’s the Solution- that make the information easy to digest, easy to understand and easy to put into action.
© 2015 Kristin N.P. Rappe
© 2015 Kristin N.P. Rappe
January 27, 2015
I grabbed this book hoping it might give me a quick crash course on more recent concerns about teens so I can be helpful to parents in my practice. I really like the layout of this book and how it covers quick, important scenarios parents might face (like Love and Logic, which is generally my go to) however, I did not like about 40% of her advice. One example, if you can't get your teen to Clean their room, and they are so busy with activities, just do it yourself! I am paraphrasing... However, I fear for people who follow advice like this and create the next generation of entitled adults who expect the world to hand them everything. Yuck.
October 19, 2014
This book is excellent. Easy to pick up and look for an issue I'm facing and boom, there it is. Joanie lays out a situation, why its a problem and bam, tells you what to do and say. It works. I've followed her blog for several years and have shared it with friends, cause we're all in this together and Joanie knows what to do! Her style is funny, pointed and she always lays out the teenagers perspective compassionately. If recommend this book before your kids are teens..like by 4th or 5th grade.
July 14, 2020
So, I liked the way this book was organized. However, some of the information was kind of lacking. For one thing, it seemed to be designed to scare parents with things that most teens aren't doing. It also had some really weird advice, like whispering words that make you uncomfortable into a closet a thousand times until they stop making you embarrassed. Overall, there are probably some better teen parenting books out there.
December 6, 2014
Very helpful! This book really helps you relate to the younger ones. Easy to understand and implement. Teens today face so many tough choices! This has some great information on how to communicate with them about all of the worries they face.
This was a good read and I highly recommend it to anyone in a mentor role.
This was a good read and I highly recommend it to anyone in a mentor role.
September 23, 2015
Many eye-openers for this parent of 3 teens. Great examples of how to handle specific situations.
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July 23, 2018I’m tagging a DNF on this. I have never done that before! Basically the book talks about “no expectations, compromise, and treat others the way you want to be treated.” It’s a great idea but falls short since I already know this, it’s just harder putting it into practice with a teen. Raising teens is like heading down a one way street with a big green truck that is sometimes following but most of the time pretending to either street sweep behind you, in front of you, or take the trash out in their green truck right after you get paid. Sometimes the green truck is even going down the street the wrong way but backing up is hard, a u turn is impossible and side streets look scary. So embrace the big green truck. Love them through it and maybe give a course once you pull through.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews