This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life

by Dan Owens-Reid, Dan Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo

Written in an accessible Q&A format, here, finally, is the go-to resource for parents hoping to understand and communicate with their gay child. Through their LGBTQ-oriented site, the authors are uniquely experienced to answer parents' many questions and share insight and guidance on both emotional and practical topics. Filled with real-life experiences from gay kids and parents, this is the book gay kids want their parents to read.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Parenting, Queer, Education, Sexuality, Lesbian

240 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2014

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book that makes me go nope nope nope.

Oh it is probably fine for parents of gay kids. But for parents of bisexual kids? Nope nope nope.

This was me reading the way Owens-Reid and Russo handled bisexuality in this book:







Let me share why:

Read the rest of my review at bisexual-books.tumblr.com

[Randy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely amazing resource for parents. As a a therapist who works with LGBTQ+ youth, I will be recommending this to every parent moving forward. An easy down to earth Q&A guide for anyone who wants to help understand and support their loved one.

[Claire Polacheck · Rating 4 out of 5]

everyone drop parenting book recs for catholic parents with newly out daughters! (this is about my sister, I’m not coming out on goodreads rn.) this book did a decent job, I feel like it didn’t delve too into politics or religion but did stress “don’t hate your kid”

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a basic and pretty comprehensive overview of concerns a parent might have when their child comes out as gay. It will be most beneficial to those parents who are completely blindsided and/or know very little about the LGBTQ community. It is arranged into the following sections/chapters: Coming Out, First Reactions, Telling Others, Thinking about the Future, The Birds and the Bees, Religious Beliefs, Questioning Gender, and Being Supportive. In addition to the author's perspective, excerpts from other LGBTQ kids and their parents are included in each chapter. The book is capped off by a comprehensive glossary of terms and an extensive list of continuing resources for both parents and children.

[Jae · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is definitely a book for parents who don't know anything, and I had to keep that in mind while reading. It's very basic but filling an important niche. They did an ok but not super great job on the gender chapter. It's definitely a great starting point for parents, and I'm probably going to get a copy for my mom. Would have been nice to have this eight years ago (eight years really???).

Also I'm quoted in it but Kristin neglected to ask how to spell my name so I'm just "J" which was a little disappointing. And they used she/her for me, but I think I must have asked them to bc I wasn't comfortable going public about they/them yet. But I'm IN THE BOOK!

[Kristina Clement · Rating 4 out of 5]

Basic information with some good questions to consider for conversations with your kid. Information is a little dated and not very intersectional. For parents who haven't had much exposure to the LGBTQ+ community, this will be a good starting point.

[Feral Academic]

Reading a book which takes acceptance for granted for someone who doesn't has not been my funnest or most useful idea ever.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my work as an LGBTQ youth advocate I recommend this book frequently because it’s one of the only ones out there for parents. Having finally read it cover to cover (instead of just relying on my knowledge of the authors and the book’s intent as a recommendation) I will continue suggesting it.

At five years old, it’s already a bit outdated, but concepts and terminology within gender and sexuality change so frequently and so quickly, five years is an eternity, and it doesn’t do much harm to the overall message.

I wish the chapter in gender either covered more or went more in depth. At the current time, more teens are coming out as trans and more parents are saying things like “I’m okay with my kid being gay, but trans is a different story.” This book just grazes the surface of gender.

Finally, I read a few comments that seemed to complain that the book is too basic. To those folks, I just want to say that basic is what most parents need. Those reviewers might be shocked to hear about sections of the book that are too advanced for especially the average midwestern parents that I work with.

I’ll continue recommending this book to parents until a more up-to-date option comes along.

[Jabiz Raisdana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short. Sweet. To the point.

This is a great resource for both parents and educators who are supporting LGBTQ youth. The message is nothing ground breaking: Listen. Ask questions. Create a loving and supportive environment for your kids, but this book is valuable for people who do not have too clear an understanding of how to talk to kids who are coming out.

The bottom-line bulleted summaries at the end of each chapter make for great talking points for educators working with parents who have questions.

Worth a read and a place on your professional bookshelf to recommend to parents who might need it.

[Rebekah Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not a parent at all but I read this book as someone who works in peer-to-peer support and found it extremely helpful.

Because much of my life experiences and work revolve around the juxtaposition of religion and sexuality, I found the chapter on religious beliefs particularly useful especially in the United States of America Christian culture's view on sexuality.

[John Easton · Rating 5 out of 5]

No matter if you are the parent of a Gay child or want to advance your LGBTQ advocacy this book will serve as a central resource and guide. The title steeped in understanding, empathy, acceptance, and love offers insights told from the perspective of a Gay child and her devoted mother. Along with healthy reflections, the book walks the reader through the obvious and not so obvious questions parents coming from many perspectives might have when the child you love says, "I am Gay".

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty good resource. I wouldn't say it's perfect at all, (it defined bisexual wrong for one) but it's certainly going to be useful as a place to start the process. The resources at the back are pretty great in my opinion. Definitely filling a very important niche of dealing with the beginning stages of coming out to parents and giving them guidance. I'm extremely glad it exists.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

pretty basic but approachable stuff for parents with a queer child. read through it seeking some resources for a friend, seriously, and honestly wished I would have been able to give my own parents this. probably would have opened up more conversations between us rather than me just bursting out of the closet with headstrong tenacity and little empathy.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for obvious reasons—I have children who identify as LGBTQ+. This book would be a good one for parents who know little to nothing about the complexities their LGBTQ+ children are facing. Because my husband and I have already learned about, processed, etc., many of the things covered in this book, we didn't find it overly helpful.

[Mike OHagerty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Basic, common sense stuff

I hope!! Nothing earth-shattering here, but a good look into the challenges a parent might experience with their children and sexual orientation or identity. If you've been surprised by your child's announcement, this book is definitely a plus.

[Kurt Dinan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the calm, loving, and wise tone of this book. It also gives lots of great, specific examples of how to respond to people who have questions or may not agree with your pro-LGBTQ beliefs.

[Makenzie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt like this book was overly simplistic. I feel like this book starts at a baseline where the parent is already supportive of LGBT people, but maybe that’s where a lot of parents start. I think it could have benefitted from a deeper analysis and challenging of preconceptions.

[McKenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in hopes to give to my mom and found it really useful, which it went into more detail on some sections, and it’s definitely written more so for parents of teens or younger, however still relevant.

[Tricia Friedman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accessible and honest-excellent blend of advice with anecdotal evidence.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended. I will use this at school with the GSA I sponsor, and will also refer parents, teachers, and grandparents to it. Great resources listed in the back, too.

[Dkbbookgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether or not you are the parent of a gay kid we could all learn fro the wisdom of this book!!!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much helpful information and many excellent resources for friends and family. An excellent starting point for learning ways to support a LBGRQ child.

[Eric Engleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for parents or those who want to support them. Filled with a broad range of questions some likely to be asked, some not as likely. Written in a simple heart-warming style.

[Elijah Christopher · Rating 2 out of 5]

Owens and Reid had many good suggestions and some sound advice. I, however, cannot support a book that is preaching acceptance to a community that defiles the most sacred covenant of our Lord: the covenant of worthy marriage. As marriage is only ordained and sacred when it is between a man and woman, and done under the proper authority, I do not believe in praising literature or other works that do uplift and encourage the acceptance of homosexual practices, especially those relationships that intend on leading to marriage and families. Children of homosexual parents will be raised in a corrupt home with skewed views of what true marriage and happiness is. This is not to say that homosexual or those of different sexual orientations are bad people or have ill intent when it comes to raising children and families. Nor am I saying that they would not do their best to teach their children good morals and values and to become the best people that they can be, and love them with all their hearts, but their practice is forbidden it the eyes of the most high God, and does destroy that foundation of which His children can be most happy if they build their lives upon it. That is: The foundation of worthy marriage between a man and woman, and the bringing forth and righteous raising of children through natural ordained means. However, marriage and relationships were not the only things discussed in this book. I do applaud Owens and Reid in some of their advice that can apply to all parents, not just those of children that have alternative sexual orientations. For it is of utmost importance to listen to your child with a sound mind, not to ever show hatred or bitterness towards them, even if you don't approve of some of the decisions they are making. It is also essential to be supportive of the good activities and communities that your child wishes to become active in, even if they don't fit your interests. Another excellent value they focused on was the fight against abusive and hateful behavior towards people of all kinds, because no one deserves to be hated because of a lifestyle they may have decided for themselves. The greatest trait of being a human being and part of the human race is the fact that all people are created differently, with their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses, and beauty. Thus, I do not support showing hatred or unkindness towards anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Though I have found good advice from Owens and Reid's work, I must rate lowly a work that does encourage acceptance of a practice which is of such pure evil, as we should teach our children that even if they do feel attraction to people of the same sex, or do feel the desire to change their bodies: This is not a correct practice, and they can become everlastingly stronger and happier if they learn to fight against these unholy urges, and strive to become like their Father in Heaven. For all people can gain eternal happiness and exaltation, and this is the hope of our Father. That happiness cannot be achieved in the defiling practice of homosexuality.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is straightforward but brief. It seems to be based on a website run by parents for parents, with additional input from a counselor. It answers questions in a straightforward manner, but does not go into too much depth, e.g., "How do I handle sleepovers?" Answer: Establish a house rule that the kids keep the door open (but expand that into a couple of paragraphs).

[Gregg Puluka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book that covers a great deal of material. The appendix alone is a worthwhile resource for anyone of any background.

Also very validating for parents who are navigating the twenty first century with a twentieth century education

[Sarah Goewey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, so the target audience is pretty specific, but Owens-Reid and Russo are funny and insightful. Can't we all learn something about adjustment and acceptance when it comes to family?

[Deanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

Fine. Good information, did use transsexual, but other than that up to date.

[Kaiti · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good 101 book. Definitely basic, but I appreciated the way it approached the questions and the informatio it provided.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really excellent resource. Saw the authors speak at The Boulde Bookstore in November.