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Both of Us: My Life with Farrah
Ryan O’Neal’s intimate memoir of his turbulent and passionate love story with Farrah Fawcett Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett. He was the handsome Academy Award–nominated star of Paper Moon and the classic romance Love Story. She was the beautiful, all-American Charlie’s Angel, whose poster adorned the bedroom walls of teenage boys everywhere. One of the most storied love affairs in Hollywood history, their romance has captivated fans and media alike for more than three decades. In a tragic turn, the world lost Farrah after a tragic battle with cancer in 2009, but in his intimate memoir Both of Us, Ryan brings their relationship to vivid life. Fans of each other from afar, Ryan and Farrah met through her husband, Lee Majors, and fell passionately in love. Soon, however, reality threatened their happiness and they struggled with some serious matters, including the disintegration of Farrah’s marriage; Ryan’s troubled relationship with his daughter, Tatum, and son, Griffin; mismatched career trajectories; and raising their young son, Redmond—all leading Ryan and Farrah to an inevitable split in 1997. Ryan fought to create a life on his own but never stopped longing for Farrah. Eventually he realized that he had lost his true soul mate. Older and wiser, he and Farrah found their way back to each other and were excited to start a new life together. But their bliss was cut short when Farrah was diagnosed with cancer and passed away just three years later. Ryan’s deep love for Farrah and his devotion to preserving her memory are evident in Both of Us. Drawing on decades’ worth of personal records and keepsakes, he has included never-before-seen photographs, letters exchanged between him and Farrah, and his own diaries, making this a poignant and compelling memento for her fans. Written with candor and emotional honesty, it is a true Hollywood love story.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2012
66 people are currently reading
348 people want to read
About the author
Ryan O'Neal
3 books6 followersCharles Patrick Ryan O'Neal (April 20, 1941 – December 8, 2023) was an American actor. Born in Los Angeles, he trained as an amateur boxer before beginning a career in acting in 1960. In 1964, he landed the role of Rodney Harrington on the ABC nighttime soap opera Peyton Place. It was an instant hit and boosted O'Neal's career. He later found success in films, most notably in the romantic drama Love Story (1970), for which he was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor and the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama, Peter Bogdanovich's What's Up, Doc? (1972) and Paper Moon (1973), which earned him a nomination for the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy, Stanley Kubrick's Barry Lyndon (1975), Richard Attenborough's A Bridge Too Far (1977), and Walter Hill's The Driver (1978). From 2005 to 2017, he had a recurring role in the Fox television series Bones as Max, the father of the show's protagonist. - wikipedia
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
August 20, 2017
A true love story
Ryan O'Neal was fortunate to lead the life of the movie "Love Story" in his real life, but at a cost. Not everything went smoothly in his life; the troubled life of his first wife Joanna Moore and her drug abuse; balancing life with Farah, and his children, especially Tatum O'Neal, was hard to keep up with. His relationship with Farrah was complicated and often turbulent; in short they were not as cozy as the picture-perfect Malibu sunsets. But they were 1980s glamour couple, just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of today, which captured the attention of millions of fans. O'Neal first met Farrah when she was married to actor Lee Majors, and recalls how he felt when he first saw her at Majors/Fawcett's Malibu home; "I first saw her in their driveway, and she lit up the day." Alana Stewart, a close friend of the couple recalls that their relationship was very rocky, but also had deep connection and love. The high point in their life was the birth of their son, Redmond in 1985, but sadly Redmond lead a tumultuous life that Farrah never expected.
There were rumors that Ryan O'Neal had many affairs with other women during his relationship with Farrah, but in the book, he admits the 1997 affair, when Farrah walked in on him with a younger woman was his only moment of unfaithfulness to her. He offers an explanation for his behavior by blaming Farrah's menopause which made her mad at him at all time, and hence he found a younger companion who wasn't mad at him. He got back with Farrah about a year before she was diagnosed for anal cancer. Her reality show was chronicled in the NBC documentary, Farrah's Story. Reflecting on this sad moment, he recalls she wanted him to be there with her. In this show we saw ailing Farrah getting treatments for cancer; the sad and sunny days in her last few days of her life, and the visit of her son Redmond from prison was touching. Terminally ill Farrah was barely aware that her son was there with her. Ryan O'Neal looks back at these instances candidly. Sadly, he also had his own battle with leukemia and skin cancer, and he announced earlier this month that he is diagnosed with stage 2 prostate cancer.
Another story that is not properly discussed in the book is about the missing Andy Warhol portrait of Farrah Fawcett that belongs to her alma mater University of Texas. Apparently one portrait was given to the university; the other had been retained by O'Neal, which was seen hanging above his bed in his Malibu home in his reality show on OWN TV. Ryan O'Neal went to court challenging the university over this and won the lawsuit with University of Texas
Currently he is still estranged from his three children, Patrick, Griffin, and Tatum. In 2011, Tatum and Ryan attempted to reconcile their differences through their reality show on Oprah's network, "Ryan and Tatum; the O'Neal's." The damage done to their relationship was evident in this show because of his living arrangement with Farrah, and heavy toll it took on young Tatum. Ryan's love and devotion for Farrah is abundantly evident in this book. Based on his personal records and recollections, he presents a true love story and includes rare photographs and letters.
Ryan O'Neal was fortunate to lead the life of the movie "Love Story" in his real life, but at a cost. Not everything went smoothly in his life; the troubled life of his first wife Joanna Moore and her drug abuse; balancing life with Farah, and his children, especially Tatum O'Neal, was hard to keep up with. His relationship with Farrah was complicated and often turbulent; in short they were not as cozy as the picture-perfect Malibu sunsets. But they were 1980s glamour couple, just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of today, which captured the attention of millions of fans. O'Neal first met Farrah when she was married to actor Lee Majors, and recalls how he felt when he first saw her at Majors/Fawcett's Malibu home; "I first saw her in their driveway, and she lit up the day." Alana Stewart, a close friend of the couple recalls that their relationship was very rocky, but also had deep connection and love. The high point in their life was the birth of their son, Redmond in 1985, but sadly Redmond lead a tumultuous life that Farrah never expected.
There were rumors that Ryan O'Neal had many affairs with other women during his relationship with Farrah, but in the book, he admits the 1997 affair, when Farrah walked in on him with a younger woman was his only moment of unfaithfulness to her. He offers an explanation for his behavior by blaming Farrah's menopause which made her mad at him at all time, and hence he found a younger companion who wasn't mad at him. He got back with Farrah about a year before she was diagnosed for anal cancer. Her reality show was chronicled in the NBC documentary, Farrah's Story. Reflecting on this sad moment, he recalls she wanted him to be there with her. In this show we saw ailing Farrah getting treatments for cancer; the sad and sunny days in her last few days of her life, and the visit of her son Redmond from prison was touching. Terminally ill Farrah was barely aware that her son was there with her. Ryan O'Neal looks back at these instances candidly. Sadly, he also had his own battle with leukemia and skin cancer, and he announced earlier this month that he is diagnosed with stage 2 prostate cancer.
Another story that is not properly discussed in the book is about the missing Andy Warhol portrait of Farrah Fawcett that belongs to her alma mater University of Texas. Apparently one portrait was given to the university; the other had been retained by O'Neal, which was seen hanging above his bed in his Malibu home in his reality show on OWN TV. Ryan O'Neal went to court challenging the university over this and won the lawsuit with University of Texas
Currently he is still estranged from his three children, Patrick, Griffin, and Tatum. In 2011, Tatum and Ryan attempted to reconcile their differences through their reality show on Oprah's network, "Ryan and Tatum; the O'Neal's." The damage done to their relationship was evident in this show because of his living arrangement with Farrah, and heavy toll it took on young Tatum. Ryan's love and devotion for Farrah is abundantly evident in this book. Based on his personal records and recollections, he presents a true love story and includes rare photographs and letters.
June 30, 2012
Let me preface this review with I have always for some reason liked Ryan O'Neal...even when the rest of world declared him an a-hole there was something about him that I liked.
I've read Tatum's book and I've watched the Oprah network reality show with Ryan and Tatum.
This is not to say that I think Ryan is always right or truthful...nor do I think Tatum is.
This book was interesting, telling the story of Ryan and Farrah's love affair which I believe was real and uncommon and a truly loving relationship.
However I think that Ryan O'Neal is an incredibly narcissistic man, everything is about him and he minimizes his responsibility for everything. He has a habit of telling a story and then saying something like "but that doesn't compare to what happened later...." and then you have to wait and read and figure out if this story is the one he referred to earlier...or is it this one?
It's a distraction from the memoir.
The last quarter of the book was touching and sad. Farrah's decline and death is the only part of the book that doesn't feel a little self-serving. It's the most honest and real part.
And it made me like him a little again.
I've read Tatum's book and I've watched the Oprah network reality show with Ryan and Tatum.
This is not to say that I think Ryan is always right or truthful...nor do I think Tatum is.
This book was interesting, telling the story of Ryan and Farrah's love affair which I believe was real and uncommon and a truly loving relationship.
However I think that Ryan O'Neal is an incredibly narcissistic man, everything is about him and he minimizes his responsibility for everything. He has a habit of telling a story and then saying something like "but that doesn't compare to what happened later...." and then you have to wait and read and figure out if this story is the one he referred to earlier...or is it this one?
It's a distraction from the memoir.
The last quarter of the book was touching and sad. Farrah's decline and death is the only part of the book that doesn't feel a little self-serving. It's the most honest and real part.
And it made me like him a little again.
February 17, 2020
Ryan O’Neal states that he is 70-years old as he is writing this memoir (which could almost be a therapy journal). That alone was difficult for me to envision, even though the dates made perfect sense. I’ve spent years watching a much younger Ryan O’Neal in movies such as “Love Story,” “Barry Lyndon,” and “What’s Up, Doc?” I had been too young to stay up to watch him in his most famous television series, “Peyton Place,” but my parents were regular watchers.
It seems especially appropriate to mention “Peyton Place” because the story revealed in this book is as engrossing as that night time “soap opera.” In fact, I kept coming back to this memoir whenever I had the opportunity, eager to learn more.
The memories I have of Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett are vivid. He was a sulky, anti-social star with a quick temper and one of the most dysfunctional families ever known. (His own assessment in this book is that he was living a prolonged adolescence.) Farrah Fawcett became more well-known, gracing what must have been the most popular pin-up poster in history, growing as an actress from the fluff of “Charlie’s Angels” to the unforgettable “The Burning Bed,” and becoming the butt of comedy routines after her first appearance on David Letterman’s show.
My expectation was that this would be some self-serving explanation of the tabloid stories. Boy, was I ever wrong.
Early on, my hopes for the book weren’t promising. O’Neal has a very direct, “matter of fact” writing style that seemed a bit abrupt. Yet, it soon became apparent that he was writing a fascinating recollection ... as he states, subject to his memory and sometimes out of chronological sequence. The effect was of someone trying to come to terms with how he’s lived his life by studying his behavior. And he does not just rely on memory. He publishes some of his personal journal entries along with letters he had saved. He is also working with an archivist to sort through relevant material, and is sometimes surprised by what is found.
The O’Neal and Fawcett relationship begins while she is still married to Lee Majors and O’Neal has determined that he will never marry anyone ever again. His approach to life appears to be that people should be able to do what they like as long as they don’t physically hurt others. She relies on others to fill in gaps in her self-confidence.
I mentioned earlier that this seems similar to a personal therapy journal. O’Neal is completely unsparing in descriptions of his actions. He believes that treating his children as grown adults even when they were toddlers robbed them of the parental guidance they needed, but that he was emotionally incapable of giving. He provides oddly emotionless details of the harm done to him by others (other than to say that he was surprised or hurt), although he constantly backs off from assigning full blame to others. That inability to express emotion is a major part of his regrets, suggesting that being more open would have helped with healing.
My suspicion is that the text was transcribed from O’Neal’s dictation into an audio device. I say that because he includes comments that often occur when someone is describing their life events. An example would be something like, “But, back to what I was saying.”
O’Neal name-drops, and that is one of the joys of the book. He doesn’t go into many details about people outside of his family. Still, the brief revelations were almost always something that I’d never heard before, from Stanley Kubrick’s directing techniques on “Barry Lyndon” to Barbra Streisand’s business focus ... and a peculiarity of Dick Cavett’s that I will never forget.
The details of the personal relationships are simple in the way they are communicated, but struck me with a strong emotional intensity. These ranged from the stages of a relationship (with their related joys, heartbreaks, and loneliness) to horrendous struggles with addiction suffered by most of his children. Reading about Fawcett’s last days brought tears to my eyes. From what I read of O’Neal’s life, mine is pretty darn good!
BOTH OF US: MY LIFE WITH FARRAH was remarkably candid, and was likely all the more moving because it wasn’t trying to accomplish justification. This is the tale of a man reflecting on how he has lived his life. It was definitely worth the read.
It seems especially appropriate to mention “Peyton Place” because the story revealed in this book is as engrossing as that night time “soap opera.” In fact, I kept coming back to this memoir whenever I had the opportunity, eager to learn more.
The memories I have of Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett are vivid. He was a sulky, anti-social star with a quick temper and one of the most dysfunctional families ever known. (His own assessment in this book is that he was living a prolonged adolescence.) Farrah Fawcett became more well-known, gracing what must have been the most popular pin-up poster in history, growing as an actress from the fluff of “Charlie’s Angels” to the unforgettable “The Burning Bed,” and becoming the butt of comedy routines after her first appearance on David Letterman’s show.
My expectation was that this would be some self-serving explanation of the tabloid stories. Boy, was I ever wrong.
Early on, my hopes for the book weren’t promising. O’Neal has a very direct, “matter of fact” writing style that seemed a bit abrupt. Yet, it soon became apparent that he was writing a fascinating recollection ... as he states, subject to his memory and sometimes out of chronological sequence. The effect was of someone trying to come to terms with how he’s lived his life by studying his behavior. And he does not just rely on memory. He publishes some of his personal journal entries along with letters he had saved. He is also working with an archivist to sort through relevant material, and is sometimes surprised by what is found.
The O’Neal and Fawcett relationship begins while she is still married to Lee Majors and O’Neal has determined that he will never marry anyone ever again. His approach to life appears to be that people should be able to do what they like as long as they don’t physically hurt others. She relies on others to fill in gaps in her self-confidence.
I mentioned earlier that this seems similar to a personal therapy journal. O’Neal is completely unsparing in descriptions of his actions. He believes that treating his children as grown adults even when they were toddlers robbed them of the parental guidance they needed, but that he was emotionally incapable of giving. He provides oddly emotionless details of the harm done to him by others (other than to say that he was surprised or hurt), although he constantly backs off from assigning full blame to others. That inability to express emotion is a major part of his regrets, suggesting that being more open would have helped with healing.
My suspicion is that the text was transcribed from O’Neal’s dictation into an audio device. I say that because he includes comments that often occur when someone is describing their life events. An example would be something like, “But, back to what I was saying.”
O’Neal name-drops, and that is one of the joys of the book. He doesn’t go into many details about people outside of his family. Still, the brief revelations were almost always something that I’d never heard before, from Stanley Kubrick’s directing techniques on “Barry Lyndon” to Barbra Streisand’s business focus ... and a peculiarity of Dick Cavett’s that I will never forget.
The details of the personal relationships are simple in the way they are communicated, but struck me with a strong emotional intensity. These ranged from the stages of a relationship (with their related joys, heartbreaks, and loneliness) to horrendous struggles with addiction suffered by most of his children. Reading about Fawcett’s last days brought tears to my eyes. From what I read of O’Neal’s life, mine is pretty darn good!
BOTH OF US: MY LIFE WITH FARRAH was remarkably candid, and was likely all the more moving because it wasn’t trying to accomplish justification. This is the tale of a man reflecting on how he has lived his life. It was definitely worth the read.
May 3, 2012
Wow. What a delusional person Ryan O'Neal is! He takes hardly a bit of responsibility for his awful parenting- 3 of his 4 kids have horrible drug problems- and has basically made me lose any good opinion I ever had of Farrah Fawcett. Staying with him and participating in their abusive, substance-fueled cheating relationship was just gross.
January 5, 2024
A very emotional read RIP to both Farah and Ryan I hope you are both together and happy
July 19, 2012
I am a fan of Mr. O’Neal and always rooted for Farrah for success as a credible actress. This is the story of their life together, then apart, then together. There is also a lot about Ryan’s difficult relationships with his children. Granted, this is one side of the story, but Ryan wrote the book, so it’s his story to tell. I listened on audio and Ryan was the reader, which I always appreciate. He has a good voice; still sounds the same as he did when he was younger. This is the story of a man with many regrets, but who also has many wonderful blessings in his life. Farrah was his biggest blessing and I believe, from the book, that he loved her with all his heart. Go to YouTube and find the opening music/titles of Good Sports, a TV show they did together. The dance Ryan and Farrah do shows their great chemistry.
June 17, 2012
I am of an age where I was beguiled by the beautiful Farrah Fawcett of the Pepsodent smile, tawny limbs and tousled hair, and I was curious about her relationship with Ryan O'Neal. I suspect if Ms. Fawcett were still alive, she would be ashamed of Mr. O'Neal's book. While he does manage to chronicle their relationship, and their is no question that he loved her, he seems to blame their breakups entirely on her -- menopause and her fear of aging: "Weeks away from her fiftieeth birthday, she was in a panic, the all-American girl now tormented by the same beauty that catapaulted her to fame and that she could see fading.
Mr. O'Neal also spends an inordinate amount of time in his book bashing his daughter, Tatum. Perhaps this is his response to her earlier memoirs (which I have not read), but I would expect a parent to take the higher road. Mr. O'Neal claims that as a result of savy investments, he is financially secure, and then explains he participated in a tawdry reality show on Oprah's network because his daughter had "nothing to do." Yet, he hardly seems like the magnamious father. While blaming three of his four childrens' well-documented drug addictions on their mothers, he reflects that Tatum "inherited her mother's predilection for addiction but not her wisdom or compassion." Perhaps Ms. O'Neal had no choice but to turn to drugs when her father concludes: "Tatum only had two options: marry a rich and famous man - -and we know how that worked out -- or continue as an actress, but Tatum was never able to make the transition from appealing child to accomplished adult."
Mr. O'Neal also spends an inordinate amount of time in his book bashing his daughter, Tatum. Perhaps this is his response to her earlier memoirs (which I have not read), but I would expect a parent to take the higher road. Mr. O'Neal claims that as a result of savy investments, he is financially secure, and then explains he participated in a tawdry reality show on Oprah's network because his daughter had "nothing to do." Yet, he hardly seems like the magnamious father. While blaming three of his four childrens' well-documented drug addictions on their mothers, he reflects that Tatum "inherited her mother's predilection for addiction but not her wisdom or compassion." Perhaps Ms. O'Neal had no choice but to turn to drugs when her father concludes: "Tatum only had two options: marry a rich and famous man - -and we know how that worked out -- or continue as an actress, but Tatum was never able to make the transition from appealing child to accomplished adult."
March 22, 2013
I really liked this book. It was not at all written with rose colored glasses as I expected it to be. Ryan and Farrah experienced a lot of rough times and heartbreaks over the years, especially caused by Ryan's kids from previous marriages. Those kids were total spoiled brats and developed serious drug and alcohol problems which negatively impacted everyone. Ryan was really hard on himself about that, wondering what he could have done differently and taking I think too much of the blame for how they turned out. It is amazing that Ryan and Farrah stayed together through all the hard times, but their love for each other shines through on every page. I wished it could have had a happier ending for them. It was terribly sad that Farrahs only child, Redmond, had to say goodbye to her on her deathbed wearing shackles because he was in police custody on drug charges. That had to almost have killed his father. I think it was an honest portrayal of the Ryan and Farrah love story and that life doesn't always turn out like you plan it.
May 31, 2012
I have always had a link with Farrah. Unfortunately it is ONLY with age. We graduated from high school the same year [75 miles apart with rival football teams]. I was 17 so I assumed she was 17 or 18 when she graduated so as I got older and she didn't. When people would ask me my age I would just reply, "the same age as Farrah!" which clearly would shave 2-3 yrs. off my age without lying!
Back to the book-- I found it very honest and sad. I guess there's no real happiness in Hollywood. It is another example also that children can not grow up in that atmosphere and be normal. Thankfully, I did not follow my dreams at 13 to be an actress [can't act], singer [can't carry a tune], or dancer [I'm very clumsy]. I suppose God knew what he was doing when he gave me absolutely no talent! So happy to have a normal life!!!
Back to the book-- I found it very honest and sad. I guess there's no real happiness in Hollywood. It is another example also that children can not grow up in that atmosphere and be normal. Thankfully, I did not follow my dreams at 13 to be an actress [can't act], singer [can't carry a tune], or dancer [I'm very clumsy]. I suppose God knew what he was doing when he gave me absolutely no talent! So happy to have a normal life!!!
May 15, 2012
I have always been fascinated by the strange dynamics Ryan O'Neal has with his children. I read Tatum's books and for some reason just didn't believe everything I read. However, I admire Ryan for admitting his poor parenting mistakes, but do believe he loved Farrah with everything he had in him. He has four children and has had trouble with three of them. I hope Redmond will get his act together and become the son that his father needs and his mother would have wanted. Ryan's son Patrick has never been involved in drugs like his other children, so Ryan didn't do everything wrong. I feel that Tatum and Griffin need to grow up and move on with their lives instead of hating and blaming their father for everything.
May 2, 2012
Very simple and easy read. Ryan O'Neal chronicles his long relationship with Farrah Fawcett... the ups and downs, their break-up and their reunion and fight to save her from cancer, which would take her life. It's touching and I'm glad I read it.
This was virtually the 3rd book I read in just a couple weeks, so it was a nice top-off.
This was virtually the 3rd book I read in just a couple weeks, so it was a nice top-off.
February 27, 2014
so far its has a love story theme learning a lot about Farrah that I never knew. She was a kind lady from what Ryan has written this story shows that through all the fighting he still loved her and her him after Ryan does Love Story its kinda brings him and her back within the movie that he was once in
November 11, 2014
Oh Ryan, you are even more self-involved than evidence heretofore suggested. But now, by your own pen, you can finally be convicted. She was arguably the most beautiful woman who ever walked planet Earth, but history would never know it from the book you wrote. Perhaps you should have called it "Ryan and Me." If you hadn't spent so much time defending yourself against the court of public opinion, you might actually have given the world fresh and telling insight into both yourself and the woman you knew probably better than anyone; a woman much of the world has been curious about since they first laid eyes on that poster, or saw her shampoo commercials, or ogled her on Charlie's Angels.
If you want to learn much about the life of Farrah, you'll be left wanting. This book falls under the category: Missed Opportunity. Hopefully one day someone with authority & knowledge will write the definitive book about Farrah Fawcett. If and when they do I hope they'll devote no more than one chapter to what she saw in Ryan O'Neal, and then do us the favor of omitting any references to "what Ryan thought" as we've just been served up in this book the ad nauseam recording on that score.
If you want to learn much about the life of Farrah, you'll be left wanting. This book falls under the category: Missed Opportunity. Hopefully one day someone with authority & knowledge will write the definitive book about Farrah Fawcett. If and when they do I hope they'll devote no more than one chapter to what she saw in Ryan O'Neal, and then do us the favor of omitting any references to "what Ryan thought" as we've just been served up in this book the ad nauseam recording on that score.
January 14, 2013
This celebrity memoir was quite moving. What I liked is that Ryan O'Neal did not play the blame game for some of the ongoing problems in his on/off again relationship with actress Farrah Fawcett. Despite how much they loved each other, they did have their share of problems, but always there was a connection, drawn stronger by their love for their son Redmond.
O'Neal writes about his career's ups and downs, his children Griffin, Tatum and Patrick from previous relationships. He writes about his problems with his children, particularly Griffin and Tatum. He admits his mistakes and he admits how hard it is for children to have a foundation when parents do not have the normal nine to five life.
I absolutely loved this memoir and stayed up nights reading it. I miss Farrah Fawcett as she seems like she was an interesting inspiring person. She died of cancer on June 25, 2009. I thought O'Neal might have gone on about her illness more than he did. He spent just the last chapter on her illness and death. I think it was because he wanted to talk more about his life with her and the way he remembered her.
I highly recommend this book.
O'Neal writes about his career's ups and downs, his children Griffin, Tatum and Patrick from previous relationships. He writes about his problems with his children, particularly Griffin and Tatum. He admits his mistakes and he admits how hard it is for children to have a foundation when parents do not have the normal nine to five life.
I absolutely loved this memoir and stayed up nights reading it. I miss Farrah Fawcett as she seems like she was an interesting inspiring person. She died of cancer on June 25, 2009. I thought O'Neal might have gone on about her illness more than he did. He spent just the last chapter on her illness and death. I think it was because he wanted to talk more about his life with her and the way he remembered her.
I highly recommend this book.
August 30, 2012
This was a very riveting read. Ryan's dark-chocolate, smooth voice filled with regret, anguish and grief as he pours out his heart to the world at large, held me captive for long spells. I am totally convinced this man loved this woman with all of his being. However, I am not so persuaded of the wholeness of the narrative... Lots of drama and dysfunction pervade this story. So much heartache and sadness. Ryan and Farrah seem to have it all but a happy ending was not to be. Ironically, Ryan made the movie, Love Story, when he was a young man and in a case of real life imitating art, he was doomed to live out his own real life love story with Farrah. But at least he had many years before then with his love, perhaps did not always appreciate this as most of us do, until it was too late. I recommend the audio version of this book. The written words are not enough.
December 16, 2013
I enjoyed this book. For anyone that was a fan of Farrah or Ryan, this story is a must read. Ryan is not afraid to tell their story with truth, respect and heart wrenching loss that leaves you understanding how much he loved Farrah. As we all understand, time has a way of making us wish we had done things differently, and Ryan is no exception. Although his lifestyle is much different than the average reader, he still struggles with decisions as we all do. Thanks for letting us see that no matter who we are, we each must make choices that we think may enhance our life. Sometimes we come to regret the choice we made, but then we have to pick ourselves up and move forward. It is a true love story, told through a honest viewpoint that did not just highlight the good times.
February 19, 2017
Of all things, this memoir reminded me of that of Levi Johnston's. In both books I was thinking "what are you DOING?" on a regular basis. Then both Johnston and O'Neal go on to explain what they were thinking, but there appeared to be very little self-awareness in both cases. Both seemed to have some sense when they were doing something wrong (by their own moral codes), and yet did the things anyway.
Both are a quick read - less than an hour.
Both are a quick read - less than an hour.
May 29, 2012
Save yourself some time and read the last chapter where there are some genuine feelings that come out from O'Neal. The rest of.the book is ramblings of a jackass. You really want to reveal exactly the scene of the first time you were with the "love of your life?" Poorly written, jumped around a lot for nonsense stories...read the last chapter as said above....
June 28, 2012
I know Ryan (not well, but we are friendly) and despite what everyone says, still think he's a lovely person. I think this book portrays that - he truly loved and that came with its positives and negatives. Be warned, this book is intense... Ryan and Farrah lived a full, dramatic life and this book shares all those intimate details.
May 13, 2012
Ryan O'Neal's story of his 30-year love affair with Farrah Fawcett. So sad. Ryan O'Neal has made more than his fair share of mistakes in his life, and regret practically drips off every page. A fascinating read, I couldn't put it down.
September 8, 2012
My mom loved Ryan O'Neal in Peyton Place and I adored him in Love Story. This book, poorly written, shows again that celebs who look wholesome and happy and heathy, aren't what they appear to be...this is a sad story.
May 20, 2012
I think Ryan has lead a very facinating life. I can't say I agree with a majority of it, but I think he did as well as he could have at the time.
I know many people have reviewed their thoughts about Ryan's parenting skills. I don't think anyone who does not have children has a right to critique Ryan's style. I am a parent. I have a close family member (young adult) who died very recently because of drugs. I can tell you one thing. Kids can grow up in what society deems a very nurturing and caring and loving environment and still end up with addictions. I think the dynamics in Ryan's life were very different and all family members should have gotten some constant assistance. As a matter of fact, I wish Dr. Phil would take on this case. Even at this stage with Tatum, Redmond and Griffin all in a state of trouble.
We know what Ryan tells us. We know what Tatum has to offer, but where is the real truth?
I have read and watched almost everything about Ryan, Farah, and Tatum. I really have mixed thoughts on where the truth lies and with who it lies.
I've never thought of Farah as the "angel" Ryan portrayed her to be. My opinion only, but I think Farah entered perimenopause and nobody recognized the change in her until it was too late for them as a couple.
My eyes opened wide in reading how very childish Ryan and Farah conducted themselves. I felt like it was a "can't live with her can't live without her" situation throughout the book. I know they thought they were soul mates, but maybe they needed a reality check.
I saw Ryan on a few talk shows in the past month and he really looks lost. He appears at times to acknowledge and take responsibility for outcomes, but he also seems like he is distanced from what is his current reality. I don't have answers, but I really wish he would come to a place of peace within himself. Do what he has to do, but reach a place of peace. Plenty of other people are constantly kicking him down, he doesn't need to continue doing it to himself.
I have a very passionate interest in trying to understand addictions. Our society has become a very addictive society. I am curious to know the real truth of Ryan's own addictions. He claims to have just been addicted to Farah, but I wish I could believe him. Having to deal with children who are drug addicts is a really awful business. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this (almost always involuntarily of course). Sometimes the real hard truth is that many will simply not make it. Families are destroyed by it.
I appreciated the section in the book where Ryan writes "That summer, between seventh and eighth grade, when Redmond was at his most vulnerable, he was introduced to marijuana. And if anyone could be the poster child for the argument that pot use is dangerous because it leads to harder drugs, it's Redmond." I am a strong believer in this philosophy and I'm really frightened for our kids.
Ryan, at this time in his life seems to have some very good insight into these issues. I thought he wrote about them very honestly. When he does interviews however, he does not often come off in a very good light.
I was surprised to learn about all the hand written notes and journaling Ryan took part in. I also enjoyed being reminded of the body of work both Ryan and Farah created over the years.
Ryan has more health issues and I hope that he can overcome them and find a little slice of happiness.
I know many people have reviewed their thoughts about Ryan's parenting skills. I don't think anyone who does not have children has a right to critique Ryan's style. I am a parent. I have a close family member (young adult) who died very recently because of drugs. I can tell you one thing. Kids can grow up in what society deems a very nurturing and caring and loving environment and still end up with addictions. I think the dynamics in Ryan's life were very different and all family members should have gotten some constant assistance. As a matter of fact, I wish Dr. Phil would take on this case. Even at this stage with Tatum, Redmond and Griffin all in a state of trouble.
We know what Ryan tells us. We know what Tatum has to offer, but where is the real truth?
I have read and watched almost everything about Ryan, Farah, and Tatum. I really have mixed thoughts on where the truth lies and with who it lies.
I've never thought of Farah as the "angel" Ryan portrayed her to be. My opinion only, but I think Farah entered perimenopause and nobody recognized the change in her until it was too late for them as a couple.
My eyes opened wide in reading how very childish Ryan and Farah conducted themselves. I felt like it was a "can't live with her can't live without her" situation throughout the book. I know they thought they were soul mates, but maybe they needed a reality check.
I saw Ryan on a few talk shows in the past month and he really looks lost. He appears at times to acknowledge and take responsibility for outcomes, but he also seems like he is distanced from what is his current reality. I don't have answers, but I really wish he would come to a place of peace within himself. Do what he has to do, but reach a place of peace. Plenty of other people are constantly kicking him down, he doesn't need to continue doing it to himself.
I have a very passionate interest in trying to understand addictions. Our society has become a very addictive society. I am curious to know the real truth of Ryan's own addictions. He claims to have just been addicted to Farah, but I wish I could believe him. Having to deal with children who are drug addicts is a really awful business. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this (almost always involuntarily of course). Sometimes the real hard truth is that many will simply not make it. Families are destroyed by it.
I appreciated the section in the book where Ryan writes "That summer, between seventh and eighth grade, when Redmond was at his most vulnerable, he was introduced to marijuana. And if anyone could be the poster child for the argument that pot use is dangerous because it leads to harder drugs, it's Redmond." I am a strong believer in this philosophy and I'm really frightened for our kids.
Ryan, at this time in his life seems to have some very good insight into these issues. I thought he wrote about them very honestly. When he does interviews however, he does not often come off in a very good light.
I was surprised to learn about all the hand written notes and journaling Ryan took part in. I also enjoyed being reminded of the body of work both Ryan and Farah created over the years.
Ryan has more health issues and I hope that he can overcome them and find a little slice of happiness.
August 8, 2012
Hmm. I checked this book out for all the wrong reasons. I LOVE (loved?)Ryan O'Neal. I love his movies, his acting, and most of all, his beautiful "prep" role in Love Story. Since Love Story is probably my favorite movie of all time, I figured I'd delve a little more deeply into the star's life.
I wasn't altogether happy with what I uncovered. O'Neal made a LOT of mistakes. I'm not talking about the usual alcoholism and drug use mistakes -- I'm talking about violent fights with Farrah, outright rejecting Griffin, and being both inappropriate and outright dismissive of Tatum. Do I think that Ryan (my beloved Ryan!) is a bad person? Not really. I think he has a good heart. I think he means well. Do I think he's particularly intelligent or possesses good judgment? That's a little stickier.
Uncomfortably enough, the experience of reading this book made me think about my own dismal relationship with my father. I was horrified by O'Neal telling Tatum (direct quote), "You're asking me to choose the girl I don't sleep with. You can't ask that of a man. You're missing one of the chief ingredients of a relationship. I love you, you're my daughter, but there are certain aspects of my life that you cannot fulfill." Yikes. Talk about inappropriate, horrifyingly sexist (men don't only operate on sexual terms, O'Neal), and borderline incestuous. Sadly, this reminded me of my own dad and sullied my perception of O'Neal to some extent.
Still, I do stand by him in that I truly believe that he loved Farrah and did what he thought was best. He may have been a shitty parent in many respects (Hello, having Griffin mentor Redmond?? Not a great idea!), but he is a good man. I still stand by that opinion today, despite the repetitive sexism and poor judgment throughout the novel.
I wasn't altogether happy with what I uncovered. O'Neal made a LOT of mistakes. I'm not talking about the usual alcoholism and drug use mistakes -- I'm talking about violent fights with Farrah, outright rejecting Griffin, and being both inappropriate and outright dismissive of Tatum. Do I think that Ryan (my beloved Ryan!) is a bad person? Not really. I think he has a good heart. I think he means well. Do I think he's particularly intelligent or possesses good judgment? That's a little stickier.
Uncomfortably enough, the experience of reading this book made me think about my own dismal relationship with my father. I was horrified by O'Neal telling Tatum (direct quote), "You're asking me to choose the girl I don't sleep with. You can't ask that of a man. You're missing one of the chief ingredients of a relationship. I love you, you're my daughter, but there are certain aspects of my life that you cannot fulfill." Yikes. Talk about inappropriate, horrifyingly sexist (men don't only operate on sexual terms, O'Neal), and borderline incestuous. Sadly, this reminded me of my own dad and sullied my perception of O'Neal to some extent.
Still, I do stand by him in that I truly believe that he loved Farrah and did what he thought was best. He may have been a shitty parent in many respects (Hello, having Griffin mentor Redmond?? Not a great idea!), but he is a good man. I still stand by that opinion today, despite the repetitive sexism and poor judgment throughout the novel.
November 9, 2014
A key to understanding why Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett’s own life together played out like a screenplay might be found on page 73. Here O’Neal confesses, “My adolescence lasted longer than most. Marriage and parenthood may have ended my childhood, but nothing has ever interrupted my adolescence.” That’s quite a revealing statement coming from a 71 year-old actor who can look back at three failed marriages, (if you include his long-term relationship with Farrah without benefit of clergy.) There’s enough material here to make a full-length feature film. Perhaps even a mini TV series.
It’s all here. The good, the bad and the ugly. O’Neal leaves no extremely delicate and intimate detail unreported in this intensely and often painfully personal tell-all autobiography. Here we get all the turmoil from O’Neal’s marriages to Joanna Moore and Leigh Taylor-Young. Here we get all of the heartache and parental pain associated with O’Neal’s three sons, Griffin, Patrick, Redmond and daughter Tatum. Here O’Neal admits extramarital affairs with Diana Ross, Bianca, Anjelica Huston and Leslie Stefhanson. His children’s tabloid soaked lives reveal a similar pattern. Drugs, rehab, divorce, scandal.
O’Neal and Fawcett’s world together and apart unraveled when Ryan was first diagnosed with leukemia. Farrah’s own terminal diagnosis was to come later.
After all the family tragedy O’Neal reports in these pages, if there’s a message here, it might be found inside a card Farrah attached to her Christmas gift for her son, Redmond on December 25, 2007. “You don’t get to choose how or when you’re going to die. You can only decide how you’re going to live.”
It’s all here. The good, the bad and the ugly. O’Neal leaves no extremely delicate and intimate detail unreported in this intensely and often painfully personal tell-all autobiography. Here we get all the turmoil from O’Neal’s marriages to Joanna Moore and Leigh Taylor-Young. Here we get all of the heartache and parental pain associated with O’Neal’s three sons, Griffin, Patrick, Redmond and daughter Tatum. Here O’Neal admits extramarital affairs with Diana Ross, Bianca, Anjelica Huston and Leslie Stefhanson. His children’s tabloid soaked lives reveal a similar pattern. Drugs, rehab, divorce, scandal.
O’Neal and Fawcett’s world together and apart unraveled when Ryan was first diagnosed with leukemia. Farrah’s own terminal diagnosis was to come later.
After all the family tragedy O’Neal reports in these pages, if there’s a message here, it might be found inside a card Farrah attached to her Christmas gift for her son, Redmond on December 25, 2007. “You don’t get to choose how or when you’re going to die. You can only decide how you’re going to live.”
October 13, 2012
I really wanted something about his relationship with Farrah not his self absorbed look at me, look at me story. To me I heard, I was with this famous person, and then this famous person, then this one, but she was messed up, I am better than that so I went to this famous person and I only hang around really uber famous people because I'm awesome. The nail in the DNF coffin here- when he talked about their relationship while she was still with her husband, how Lee was drunk, Lee was working,.. oh this was a winner, Lee told me to take her out. Oh I see, that makes it ok then. Bah, selfish turdbucket. He hunted her, and she was easy prey, it sounds like. But geesh, WTH ?!?!!? He said she was the love of his life why drag this uninteresting story back up ? Oh yeah, I get it because you wanted to talk about all the big HOT Hollywood parties you went to. Still trying to hang onto her coattails Ryan ? He dumped his kids, his ex-wives and wondered why things were the way they were. Once again- pompous turdbucket.
I only got through 1/3 of it. I never got to the part where I had respect for him. In her last months the media portrayed him as this noble man taking care of the love of his life. Sorry I don't believe it anymore, after the first portion of the book. The only person this man loves his his media persona. I am so disgusted by this man's over the top self deluded self promotional fantasy. I hope I never read another book tis awful again
I only got through 1/3 of it. I never got to the part where I had respect for him. In her last months the media portrayed him as this noble man taking care of the love of his life. Sorry I don't believe it anymore, after the first portion of the book. The only person this man loves his his media persona. I am so disgusted by this man's over the top self deluded self promotional fantasy. I hope I never read another book tis awful again
May 27, 2012
I have been following the story of the O'Neal family for a long time and was very familiar with various events and their differing points of view. I started reading this book very late last night, intending to skim the first few pages. I found it so fascinating that I kept reading and was shocked to see the sun come up.
It's very conversational in tone, and I felt as though Ryan was speaking directly to me. He jumps around a bit, just as one would in conversation, getting off track but never for long. It flows easily. It's not an autobiography in terms of his career or even his life. It's about his love affair with Farrah, and I found it to be very moving. It's never salacious, and clearly he really did love her very much.
I know that his parenting skills were pretty awful and I know about a lot of his alleged violent behavior. Even so, I found him somewhat sympathetic. I find Tatum somewhat sympathetic too, and that's what makes the story of this family so fascinating. They each have their own realities, and - as with most things - I believe the truth is somewhere in the middle. I'll be thinking about "Both of Us: My Life with Farrah" for a long time.
It's very conversational in tone, and I felt as though Ryan was speaking directly to me. He jumps around a bit, just as one would in conversation, getting off track but never for long. It flows easily. It's not an autobiography in terms of his career or even his life. It's about his love affair with Farrah, and I found it to be very moving. It's never salacious, and clearly he really did love her very much.
I know that his parenting skills were pretty awful and I know about a lot of his alleged violent behavior. Even so, I found him somewhat sympathetic. I find Tatum somewhat sympathetic too, and that's what makes the story of this family so fascinating. They each have their own realities, and - as with most things - I believe the truth is somewhere in the middle. I'll be thinking about "Both of Us: My Life with Farrah" for a long time.
November 12, 2018
What did I think of this book? My, oh my! First, I was stunned at the egocentric Ryan O'Neal. If this narrative is really what he related to the actual authors of this book (Jodee Blanco & Kent Carroll), then he must be one of the most self-centered men on the planet. Ms. Fawcett doesn't fare much better either. Out of the four children he sired by three different women, Patrick is the only one not totally screwed up. (Patrick's mother is actress Leigh Taylor Young). Griffin and Tatum O'Neal have actress Joanna Moore as their mother. Ryan makes certain to let us know what an alcoholic mess Ms. Moore was, not to mention the 101 other negative traits she possessed. Redmond belongs to Farrah and Ryan--and Redmond is no prize either. Ms. Fawcett died in June, 2009; "Ryan's book" came out in 2012. I'm quite frankly stunned Ryan didn't have it in bookstores by August 2009--anything for publicity. I could go on, but I'll end on this note: My favorite quote of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy's is this: "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." The narrative of "Both of Us" proves her point.
February 5, 2020
A touching, but tragic love story. I loved Farrah Fawcett when I was growing up. I thought of her as one of the most beautiful women I ever saw and I wanted to be her. She and Ryan had a roller coaster ride in their relationship, but I really think they were each other's true love. I wasn't sure about Ryan O'Neal because of reading his daughter Tatum's books. Reading his version of their lives, I really think he loves his children. He was not always the best influence and they were all to blame for the tragedy that is the O'Neal Family. He definitely loved Farrah and I'm glad they found their way back to each other. The final years they had together were hard, fighting to save their son and fighting for Farrah's life. I loved reading the notes they wrote to each other, but especially the note that Farrah wrote to Redmond. Some of the notes were just little reminders to get things done, but there was always love.
July 5, 2012
I haven't really followed O'Neal's or Fawcett's careers, but I thought it sad that Farrah lost her battle with cancer. The book intrigued me, but I found it difficult to follow. O'Neal writes all over the place and admits his memory is fuzzy when it comes to dates. I get the impression he wrote entirely from what memory he had without consulting other people in Farrah's life.
I've not read Tatum O'Neal's books, either, so I can't speak to accuracy there. Seems like this family is highly dysfunctional, and you'd think that would make for an interesting story. This book, however, isn't coherent enough for me.
I've not read Tatum O'Neal's books, either, so I can't speak to accuracy there. Seems like this family is highly dysfunctional, and you'd think that would make for an interesting story. This book, however, isn't coherent enough for me.
August 2, 2013
This story just goes to show celebrities are just like the rest of us. They have their joy, their pain and ultimately their sorrows. A very heartfelt story. I was at the dentist read the last few pages and the assistant had to hand me tissues. As a teenager I loved Farrah, she always seemed warm and genuine beneath all that beauty, and still she had her insecurities. Her poster came out the year I graduated high school so you know I had to have the Farrah haircut. It never looked as good on me as it did her.
And Ryan. I cried every time I saw Love Story. He was always so handsome. How ironic he would live out that roll in real life some 40 years later.
And Ryan. I cried every time I saw Love Story. He was always so handsome. How ironic he would live out that roll in real life some 40 years later.
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