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Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur
This inspiring book gives you a splendid example of how to live as a Christian in a secular environment that can be indifferent or hostile to your Faith. For Elisabeth Leseur had two great loves: God, and her husband Felix. Felix loved Elisabeth as well; yet to their mutual sorrow, he couldn’t share the life of the Spirit that Elisabeth cherished.
Occasionally the happiness of their life together in upper-class Parisian society was shattered by Felix’s frustration and impatience. How could such an intelligent woman waste her time, as he saw it, with ignorant superstitions? Sometimes he and his friends would even ridicule and mock her faith.
But Elisabeth loved Felix too much to allow their home to degenerate into an emotional war zone. She realized that confrontations and arguments were useless; she chose instead to keep quiet and pray for Felix. In her secret diary, she recorded how she used his efforts to destroy her faith as means to grow in love for him and for God.
Throughout their life together, it grieved Elisabeth to think that Felix might be separated from her for all eternity because of his rejection of God. For her, life in Heaven wouldn’t be happy without him. Yet when she died prematurely, Felix was still an unbeliever.
The story doesn’t end there. When Felix found this diary, he discovered how Elisabeth’s whole life bore witness to the truth of the God she loved.
In time, Felix was transformed by the diary and his memories of Elisabeth. He became a Christian and, later, a priest. Now she may even be declared a saint. Elisabeth’s diary and spiritual writings (all included in this one volume) map out for you a path to marital harmony and greater love for God — especially if you love someone who stands outside the Faith. Let Elisabeth’s two great loves, and her faith and perseverance, inspire you now.
Occasionally the happiness of their life together in upper-class Parisian society was shattered by Felix’s frustration and impatience. How could such an intelligent woman waste her time, as he saw it, with ignorant superstitions? Sometimes he and his friends would even ridicule and mock her faith.
But Elisabeth loved Felix too much to allow their home to degenerate into an emotional war zone. She realized that confrontations and arguments were useless; she chose instead to keep quiet and pray for Felix. In her secret diary, she recorded how she used his efforts to destroy her faith as means to grow in love for him and for God.
Throughout their life together, it grieved Elisabeth to think that Felix might be separated from her for all eternity because of his rejection of God. For her, life in Heaven wouldn’t be happy without him. Yet when she died prematurely, Felix was still an unbeliever.
The story doesn’t end there. When Felix found this diary, he discovered how Elisabeth’s whole life bore witness to the truth of the God she loved.
In time, Felix was transformed by the diary and his memories of Elisabeth. He became a Christian and, later, a priest. Now she may even be declared a saint. Elisabeth’s diary and spiritual writings (all included in this one volume) map out for you a path to marital harmony and greater love for God — especially if you love someone who stands outside the Faith. Let Elisabeth’s two great loves, and her faith and perseverance, inspire you now.
336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1914
163 people are currently reading
852 people want to read
About the author
Elisabeth Leseur
24 books8 followersÉlisabeth Arrighi Leseur was a French mystic best known for her spiritual diary and the conversion of her husband, Félix Leseur (1861–1950), a medical doctor and well known leader of the French anti-clerical, atheistic movement.
After her death, her husband found a note by her addressed to himself, that prophesied about his conversion and him becoming a priest. In order to get rid of such "superstition", Félix left for the Marian shrine of Lourdes, wanting to expose the reports of the healings there as fake. At the Lourdes grotto however, he experienced a religious conversion. Félix subsequently published his wife's journal.
In the fall of 1919 he became a Dominican novice. He was ordained a priest in 1923 and spent much of his remaining twenty seven years publicly speaking about his wife's spiritual writings.
After her death, her husband found a note by her addressed to himself, that prophesied about his conversion and him becoming a priest. In order to get rid of such "superstition", Félix left for the Marian shrine of Lourdes, wanting to expose the reports of the healings there as fake. At the Lourdes grotto however, he experienced a religious conversion. Félix subsequently published his wife's journal.
In the fall of 1919 he became a Dominican novice. He was ordained a priest in 1923 and spent much of his remaining twenty seven years publicly speaking about his wife's spiritual writings.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
August 26, 2013
My group of friends tried to read this over the summer. that didn't work so well. It's not the kind of book you can casually plow through. You need to savor every page slowly, figure it out in your life, take it to prayer. I loved it. Pearls of wisdom on every page.
January 13, 2026
Three years later and I’ve finally finished this one. It was one of those reads that you pick back up when it’s the right time. There is much wisdom to be gained from this woman who suffered greatly but offered everything, joys and sufferings, for those that she loved. My biggest takeaway is to not let any suffering be wasted, but rather to receive it as a gift from God that can, in return, be offered back to Him.
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November 16, 2015She might be under consideration for sainthood but she didn't do what those with her vocation to marriage should: marry another Catholic to help them out. She married when she wasn't yet fully religious herself and so didn't have the benefit of a marriage like Gianna Molla's. Instead it was a source of suffering.
Two bullet points on how this book has been super helpful thus far:
* During her life, she does all of these good things, but she writes about the strain of marrying a non-believer. It is validating to read this in a secular environment where people do not necessarily appreciate the hardship of an "unequally spiritually yoked" relationship; it makes being single easier.
* There are so many ways in which she secretly does what is right and is scorned for it. Her husband reads her diary and converts after her death. He doesn't seem like the sort of person who would have given her credit while alive. Instead, he might be the sort of person who needs the experience of feeling her loss to himself to wake up. Hopefully, he was a decent priest. Thus, her love was - in the end - more important than good deeds. The book makes real or "flesh" that the afterlife does reward true good deeds even if they only bring you the cross while on Earth.
If you are starved for saintly companions and think that there is too much insincerity in the church or are between a rock and hard place between doing what's right and what's popular, this book - by presenting a modern lay perspective - will de-isolate and support you!
Two bullet points on how this book has been super helpful thus far:
* During her life, she does all of these good things, but she writes about the strain of marrying a non-believer. It is validating to read this in a secular environment where people do not necessarily appreciate the hardship of an "unequally spiritually yoked" relationship; it makes being single easier.
* There are so many ways in which she secretly does what is right and is scorned for it. Her husband reads her diary and converts after her death. He doesn't seem like the sort of person who would have given her credit while alive. Instead, he might be the sort of person who needs the experience of feeling her loss to himself to wake up. Hopefully, he was a decent priest. Thus, her love was - in the end - more important than good deeds. The book makes real or "flesh" that the afterlife does reward true good deeds even if they only bring you the cross while on Earth.
If you are starved for saintly companions and think that there is too much insincerity in the church or are between a rock and hard place between doing what's right and what's popular, this book - by presenting a modern lay perspective - will de-isolate and support you!
September 21, 2013
When you think of marriage, you know that it's going to be a memorable journey, despite the fact that it will naturally be peppered with its ups and downs. Usually, the bad moments in a marriage will stem from fiscal issues, lack of quality and quantity of personal time, poor communication skills, a dying romantic spark, stress, et cetera. There is a bombardment of causes. The issue of religion, specifically Catholic Christianity, is a non issue. One would simply believe and accept that faith is a part of the total package when you get married. As I said, you would think. Couples practice their faith according to their needs, desires or even not at all. For most couples, devote faith kind of just flickers into the scene when something bad arises. And even then there is unfortunately a lukewarm approach to it.
In the case of Elizabeth and Felix Leseur, they were a couple that had everything going for them, love, money, romantic unity, travel, an open and communicative marriage, all the things that should make for a successful and grounded marriage. But there was one important factor that caused a profound rift, and that was Elizabeth's quiet yet intense faith versus Felix's antagonistic and militant atheism. On this one single issue, there was an unshakable divide. Elizabeth, because of her faith, was pious, gentle, compassionate, open-minded, prayerful, all the good components that a healthy faith will imbue into a soul. Conversely, because of Felix's atheistic stance toward religion and Catholicism in particular, he was a mean-spirited bully, and he forcefully yet consistently willed himself to try to extinguish the flame of love that his wife had for God. Forcing her to read heretical books and go against Catholic teaching and ceremony, she eventually lost her faith, apparently for almost two years. Yet, it was while reading the heterodox Life of Jesus by Ernest Renan that she had a profound conversion to the truth of her faith. And while Felix had created a library filled to the brim with atheistic books and pamphlets, his wife Elizabeth did the same, except her books were of the Church fathers, of saints and Bible scholars as well as Catholic apologists. When Felix began to attack her, she was able to defend herself and her faith. She could argue against him, stating emphatically why she believed what she did. Yet, it separated her from her great earthly love, her very husband. Feeling utterly alone, she became the female St. John of the Cross in her own household and in her own right, living a perpetual Dark Night of the Soul. However, there were occasional moments of grace-from God-that elevated her from complete despair. And due to those supernatural insights, she was unyielding in her commitment to the task God had assigned to her-to save the soul of her husband. And she did it to the hilt.
Elizabeth was neither pliably accepting nor a zealot in regards to her faith; she chose to sufferer quietly, and like St. Therese of Lisieux, she found her own little way to open Felix's intellect to the truth, and her diary illustrates that, which, by-the-way, is oddly written, not in a consistent day-to-day pattern; it is sporadic, a brief paragraph here, a couple of pages there, but each entry faith-filled and thoroughly eye-opening. Many of the logs do give you spiritual/religious food for thought. In it is detailed her various prayers, litanies, treaties and resolutions. But the diary is also a capsule of the times in which she lived - 19th and 20th century France. It is an overview of a particular period, and that alone has some worth. Overall, the true value of the book is the testimony of Elizabeth's faith. Her example of perseverance-like Jesus Christ-is to be admired. At the end of her life, when her diary was read by her husband and he realized what she sacrificed on his behalf, it propelled him to enter religious life, just as his wife had predicted some years earlier when he would become a widower. In a nutshell, it is a great book to read, inspiring and making daily, ordinary life more extraordinary than even I had ever fully grasped.
For me, I derived much insight from the small pamphlet titled: The Faithful Servant of Christ, written for her godson. Whatever section you read, you will definitely get something of vital goodness out of it.
In the case of Elizabeth and Felix Leseur, they were a couple that had everything going for them, love, money, romantic unity, travel, an open and communicative marriage, all the things that should make for a successful and grounded marriage. But there was one important factor that caused a profound rift, and that was Elizabeth's quiet yet intense faith versus Felix's antagonistic and militant atheism. On this one single issue, there was an unshakable divide. Elizabeth, because of her faith, was pious, gentle, compassionate, open-minded, prayerful, all the good components that a healthy faith will imbue into a soul. Conversely, because of Felix's atheistic stance toward religion and Catholicism in particular, he was a mean-spirited bully, and he forcefully yet consistently willed himself to try to extinguish the flame of love that his wife had for God. Forcing her to read heretical books and go against Catholic teaching and ceremony, she eventually lost her faith, apparently for almost two years. Yet, it was while reading the heterodox Life of Jesus by Ernest Renan that she had a profound conversion to the truth of her faith. And while Felix had created a library filled to the brim with atheistic books and pamphlets, his wife Elizabeth did the same, except her books were of the Church fathers, of saints and Bible scholars as well as Catholic apologists. When Felix began to attack her, she was able to defend herself and her faith. She could argue against him, stating emphatically why she believed what she did. Yet, it separated her from her great earthly love, her very husband. Feeling utterly alone, she became the female St. John of the Cross in her own household and in her own right, living a perpetual Dark Night of the Soul. However, there were occasional moments of grace-from God-that elevated her from complete despair. And due to those supernatural insights, she was unyielding in her commitment to the task God had assigned to her-to save the soul of her husband. And she did it to the hilt.
Elizabeth was neither pliably accepting nor a zealot in regards to her faith; she chose to sufferer quietly, and like St. Therese of Lisieux, she found her own little way to open Felix's intellect to the truth, and her diary illustrates that, which, by-the-way, is oddly written, not in a consistent day-to-day pattern; it is sporadic, a brief paragraph here, a couple of pages there, but each entry faith-filled and thoroughly eye-opening. Many of the logs do give you spiritual/religious food for thought. In it is detailed her various prayers, litanies, treaties and resolutions. But the diary is also a capsule of the times in which she lived - 19th and 20th century France. It is an overview of a particular period, and that alone has some worth. Overall, the true value of the book is the testimony of Elizabeth's faith. Her example of perseverance-like Jesus Christ-is to be admired. At the end of her life, when her diary was read by her husband and he realized what she sacrificed on his behalf, it propelled him to enter religious life, just as his wife had predicted some years earlier when he would become a widower. In a nutshell, it is a great book to read, inspiring and making daily, ordinary life more extraordinary than even I had ever fully grasped.
For me, I derived much insight from the small pamphlet titled: The Faithful Servant of Christ, written for her godson. Whatever section you read, you will definitely get something of vital goodness out of it.
January 3, 2020
Repetitive. A good book for small daily reading. Since it is her actual diary it is hard to sit down and read large portions. It’s a bit choppy. Details are left out in her writing... as she probably never intended or even considered that her journal would be published. I feel like something was missing by the time I finally finished the book. I wish that the second half of the book was biographical and went through a better explanation of Elisabeth’s life; filling in the blanks. Most especially, I wish it gave us more detail of her husband Felix’s conversion! It would have tied everything together nicely...
June 29, 2020
Novo iskustvo. Čitati tuđe misli, osobe koja je šetala ovim svijetom...
Čitati o pitanjima, patnjama, bolima, molitvama jedne žene koja je toliko volila i ljubila Boga...
Tako me zanima kako se osjecao njen muž kad je nakon njene smrti, dobio u ruke njen tajni dnevnik.
Koju je vjeru i ljubav prema Bogu Elizabeth imala. Prekrasno.
Čitati o pitanjima, patnjama, bolima, molitvama jedne žene koja je toliko volila i ljubila Boga...
Tako me zanima kako se osjecao njen muž kad je nakon njene smrti, dobio u ruke njen tajni dnevnik.
Koju je vjeru i ljubav prema Bogu Elizabeth imala. Prekrasno.
April 8, 2015
This is a great spiritual guide for a laywoman. Leseur's diary reads like it could have been written by St Thérèse of Lisieux. The spirituality is very Carmelite, embracing suffering and silence, with great hope in God's mercy and goodness. I highly recommend it, especially for those who live in communities or societies which are hostile to expressions of faith (read: almost anywhere in the Western hemisphere).
"Per Crucem ad Lucem"
"Per Crucem ad Lucem"
December 22, 2014
There's some lovely wisdom in this book. There's also a lot of repetition. I think two published versions might have been a good thing -- one just like it is for people who want to read every word Elisabeth Leseur ever wrote and one that is more edited down to the essence.
That said, I appreciate her modesty and how she talked about the importance of doing good and having an extensive prayer life Without Talking About It.
That said, I appreciate her modesty and how she talked about the importance of doing good and having an extensive prayer life Without Talking About It.
April 29, 2015
I would give this beautiful testament to faith 5 stars for spirituality and inspiration. But because it was written as a personal journal by someone who I am sure never imagined she would be considered for canonization, there is a lot of repetition that could have been edited out. Still well worth reading!
Currently reading
August 29, 2008What a beautiful written book, you can never really know the depth of a woman's heart and soul and this book hits both,
April 22, 2014
The story was beautiful and fascinating, but it was bogged down in too many details and too much repetition in selected writings.
December 18, 2014
Every once in a while, there was something really kind of good, but mostly it was the same thing over and over: penance and suffering in order to purchase souls for Christ. Um, not quite, Elisabeth.
September 5, 2016
An amazing read, but not an easy read. It took a long time, as I would read only a few pages, then have to meditate upon her words. She was so very inspiring, so full of the Holy Spirit.
December 5, 2019
75/100 (= 4.0/6) ≈ 4 Stars
February 9, 2018
Powerful, especially for me as a married woman. This book helped me in my reversion to the faith, and in my renewed commitment to my marriage.
January 22, 2023
After years of starting and stopping this book, I’ve finally read it cover to cover (anyone who picks it up will understand it’s not a book you breeze through, more one your stop and savor)! It’s a beautiful treatise on what it means to have faith, (and in particular to be Catholic) even in the face of adversities and conflict. I’ve struggled for years with a spouse who did not respect my beliefs. This was the main reason one of my daughters gifted me with this particular book, its author experiencing the same situation. I have been blessed to see a change in my husband (finally), a wonderful change that I believe was brought about through maturity but even more so by my prayers. Thanks be to God!
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January 18, 2021Elizabeth Leseur's husband was a rabid atheist, but she was a devout Catholic. (How they got married despite these differences, I don't recall.) Anyway, the husband, despite his professed great love for Elizabeth, gets her to renounce her faith--for two years, I believe. During this time, she is diagnosed with breast cancer, and this is the 19th century, so the prognosis isn't good. Eventually she returns to the faith. The diary of her marriage, her apostasy, her return to the faith, and her constant hope for her husband to convert was not meant to be published. Fortunate for all of us, it has been!
August 11, 2022
Don't let the fact that it took me 2.5 years to read fool you - this book is a gem. This was my book that I took into church any time I did a Holy Hour or short stop for prayer. I'd usually read only a few pages at a time and have a wealth of things to reflect upon for time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I've loved Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur for years, having discovered her writing in the Magnificat daily reflections, and I'm so glad I finally got to read her collected writings. I strongly encourage anyone wanting to grow in their faith to pick up this gem and give yourself a lot of time to ruminate on her words.
September 7, 2023
I read this one slowly as a spiritual read over several weeks - although repetitive, she follows the natural rhythms of life which are often just that. She is slowly and silently martyred by her own physical weakness and reveals more and more how even the daily tasks, the struggles of married life, the grief of loss, or the mundane weakness of chronic illness can be offered as a prayer for others. This shows the importance of the interior spiritual life, fed by the Sacraments- it isn’t enough to just go through the outward motions of the liturgy but they are meant to feed a rich interior life and relationship with Christ.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 13, 2022
I'm reading it again, and I recently gave a copy away. What a great book! Elisabeth has real difficulties and has real ways of dealing with those difficulties. Her insights are practical and reasonable.
August 30, 2023
This is an incredibly inspirational book, and one that I will come back to time and time again. Beautifully written, and filled with loving reminders, I am eternally grateful for the gift of Elisabeth’s reflections.
October 1, 2023
The description here on Goodreads does not do justice to this book. There is so much truth and beauty in her story and her insights. If you are searching for answers about love and suffering, get yourself a copy. Read a little at a time. Take your time with this book.
January 19, 2020
Beautiful writings, but much repetition. Elisabeth was a wonderful and holy woman and I very much appreciate her devotion to her faith. Just didn’t love book.
September 27, 2020
The premise was engrossing, but the wife's journal was not specific enough to keep me interested. Too bad it wasn't a diary, so we could watch the progression.
Want to read
August 5, 2023Recommended by Well Read mom...krb 8/5/23
August 23, 2023
One of those books that must be read and returned to often. So full of sound and practical advice for anyone seeking a closer union with God.
September 11, 2023
This is a good book to read. Journals and diaries are quite fascinating as they reveal the inner thoughts of an individual. A good book for contemplating...
Highly recommend!
Highly recommend!
April 22, 2025
A difficult read but a very wise woman. Take your time and don’t expect to plow through this. Our book club slotted one month and it took everyone about three to complete.
May 27, 2020
Re-read. Elisabeth is indeed a "married St. Thérèse of Lisieux". I pray this will become a spiritual classic.
Elisabeth Leseur's spirituality is profound and inspiring, and one that many can aspire to replicate in today's religious climate. It is founded primarily on unceasing prayer and sacrifice for those estranged from the faith, an unwavering but unostentatious love for her husband who not only ceased his own practice of the faith but unrelentingly mocked her for hers, and conviction about the power of participation in Christian love and charity. Her husband 'reverted' after her death and went on to become a Dominican priest, travelling around Europe to promulgate Elisabeth's wisdom as documented in this diary.
I would, however, echo those who say that it becomes quite repetitive from about half way through, and an edited concise version would be more accessible
Elisabeth Leseur's spirituality is profound and inspiring, and one that many can aspire to replicate in today's religious climate. It is founded primarily on unceasing prayer and sacrifice for those estranged from the faith, an unwavering but unostentatious love for her husband who not only ceased his own practice of the faith but unrelentingly mocked her for hers, and conviction about the power of participation in Christian love and charity. Her husband 'reverted' after her death and went on to become a Dominican priest, travelling around Europe to promulgate Elisabeth's wisdom as documented in this diary.
I would, however, echo those who say that it becomes quite repetitive from about half way through, and an edited concise version would be more accessible
December 30, 2014
This is a diary that SOG Elisabeth Leseur kept during her life of her various religious resolutions and practices, and several of her letters and treatises on religious matters. While it gave me a lot to think over, the diary portion is repetitive and doesn't have any narrative arc to give it flow - which is, of course, very normal for a private diary. But without the footnotes and her husband's biographical introduction, it would be unreadable; as it is, the reader doesn't have any idea what the particular circumstances of her resolutions are or how they resolve. The treatises and letters were much easier to understand, and that portion was more helpful. Still, I give it 4 overall - there is a lot of good Catholic thinking here.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews