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The Things They Cannot Say: Stories Soldiers Won’t Tell You About What They’ve Seen, Done or Failed to Do in War – American Legacy Award Winner
What is it like to kill? What is it like to be under fire? How do you know what's right? What can you never forget?
In The Things They Cannot Say, award-winning journalist and author Kevin Sites asks these difficult questions of eleven soldiers and marines, who—by sharing the truth about their wars—display a rare courage that transcends battlefield heroics.
For each of these men, many of whom Sites first met while in Afghanistan and Iraq, the truth means something different. One struggles to recover from a head injury he believes has stolen his ability to love; another attempts to make amends for the killing of an innocent man; yet another finds respect for the enemy fighter who tried to kill him. Sites also shares the unsettling narrative of his own failures during war—including his complicity in a murder—and the redemptive powers of storytelling that saved him from a self-destructive downward spiral.
338 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 9, 2012
179 people are currently reading
1794 people want to read
About the author
Kevin Sites
8 books70 followersKEVIN SITES is an award-winning journalist and author.
He has worked as a reporter for more than thirty years, half of them covering war and disaster for ABC, NBC, CNN, Yahoo News, and Vice News.
During that time he helped pioneer the concept of self-sufficient, video field reporting known as backpack journalism.
He was a 2010 Nieman Journalism Fellow at Harvard University and a 2012 Dart Fellow in Journalism and Trauma at Columbia University.
For a decade he lived in Hong Kong and taught at the University of Hong Kong as an associate professor of practice in journalism.
He is the author of three books on war: In the Hot Zone, The Things They Cannot Say, and Swimming with Warlords.
His debut novel, published by Harper, will be available in bookstores July 11, 2023.
He lives in Oregon.
He has worked as a reporter for more than thirty years, half of them covering war and disaster for ABC, NBC, CNN, Yahoo News, and Vice News.
During that time he helped pioneer the concept of self-sufficient, video field reporting known as backpack journalism.
He was a 2010 Nieman Journalism Fellow at Harvard University and a 2012 Dart Fellow in Journalism and Trauma at Columbia University.
For a decade he lived in Hong Kong and taught at the University of Hong Kong as an associate professor of practice in journalism.
He is the author of three books on war: In the Hot Zone, The Things They Cannot Say, and Swimming with Warlords.
His debut novel, published by Harper, will be available in bookstores July 11, 2023.
He lives in Oregon.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
November 19, 2017
“When a soldier decides not to share his life-defining moments in war with his wife, parents, children or community because of the accompanying guilt, shame, pain or any other valid reason, it increases the likelihood that he will feel more alienated from the society for which he was fighting…the alcohol, drugs, and other self-medicating outlets for soldiers dealing with PTSD further isolate him…the warrior who does share the descriptive and often disturbing narrative of his own war experiences reconnects himself to his community while simultaneously reminding them of the responsibilities that they also bear for his actions by sending him to fight and kill on their behalf. Stories are a way for societies to share in the burden of war. They provide knowledge necessary to better understand the warrior’s experience and help them find meaning and sometimes forgiveness for their actions.”
Written by a journalist grappling with what he observed and reported on during his time embedded with various military units in Iraq and Afghanistan, he found himself exhibiting much of the same risky, self-destructive behavior as soldier’s returning from war. Woven between the author’s own account of what led to his post-traumatic stress are chapters that chronicle the first-hand war experiences of eleven servicemen, including what led to their decision to enlist, and their struggles to transition back to civilian life.
While each account is different, the isolation, guilt, and self-medicating abuse remains a vein of commonality, and the brutal honesty and heartbreaking vulnerability expressed by each man make their stories particularly poignant. For far too long, it has been mistakenly believed that it is an admirable demonstration of strength for veterans to remain silent about the horrors they’ve witnessed or participated in, often to their own detriment. The author sensitively describes the lives of these servicemen by demonstrating what can happen when veterans are unable to get the help they need, and subtly contrasts that with those who have found a way to articulate the trauma they continue to endure in order to aid in their recovery and improve their quality of life. As difficult and emotionally draining as these stories are to hear or read, we as a community owe veterans a debt, and accepting our share of responsibility is the very least we can do.
July 11, 2013
This was a powerful, painful, and utterly haunting book. Not to mention the added intensity of internet links which provided actual video footage of uncensored battles, injuries, and everyday life in Iraq and Afghanistan that supplement the book itself. (And, of course, I had to watch each and every one of these bloody and disturbing videos because I’m me and totally twisted like that.)
In this wonderfully written book, stories are gathered from those who have served not only in the American military, but in service of other countries as well. Nationality or “patriotism" was less a focus than was dissecting the essential experience of war and highlighting the existential angst that almost inevitably follows our soldiers home- and, unfortunately, drives many of them to suicide. This was real, uncensored, undiluted, de-politicized reality of combat, killing, war… and the psychological aftermath of those that survived.
Underlying the stories that Sites chose to include in this book (he apparently conducted many other interviews but chose only the segments that were most profound and honest), seemed to be a crucial message to society: THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, TOO.
As Americans, we live privileged lives in comparison to many other homelands. We are shielded from the devastating and soul-warping effects of the blood, guts, and gore that permeate the lives of our soldiers. But just because we don’t see it happen in our own backyards doesn’t mean that we are absolved of our responsibilities to the men and women who have voluntarily chosen to do our dirty work.
We make choices as a society. We do this together (technically, at least) and we do it willingly because we believe in this thing called democracy. But we often forget that the flip side of authority is responsibility. If we send our fellow countrymen and women to war, we have a responsibility to those brave and selfless individuals to provide for their care and share their burdens in whatever ways we can before, during, and after their time in battle.
We have a responsibility to help them heal.
In this wonderfully written book, stories are gathered from those who have served not only in the American military, but in service of other countries as well. Nationality or “patriotism" was less a focus than was dissecting the essential experience of war and highlighting the existential angst that almost inevitably follows our soldiers home- and, unfortunately, drives many of them to suicide. This was real, uncensored, undiluted, de-politicized reality of combat, killing, war… and the psychological aftermath of those that survived.
Underlying the stories that Sites chose to include in this book (he apparently conducted many other interviews but chose only the segments that were most profound and honest), seemed to be a crucial message to society: THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, TOO.
As Americans, we live privileged lives in comparison to many other homelands. We are shielded from the devastating and soul-warping effects of the blood, guts, and gore that permeate the lives of our soldiers. But just because we don’t see it happen in our own backyards doesn’t mean that we are absolved of our responsibilities to the men and women who have voluntarily chosen to do our dirty work.
We make choices as a society. We do this together (technically, at least) and we do it willingly because we believe in this thing called democracy. But we often forget that the flip side of authority is responsibility. If we send our fellow countrymen and women to war, we have a responsibility to those brave and selfless individuals to provide for their care and share their burdens in whatever ways we can before, during, and after their time in battle.
We have a responsibility to help them heal.
December 27, 2022
I felt that the author injected too much of his personal opinions into this book.
I am a retired military and am very aware of PTSD and other traumatic experiences. It is unfair to sift through the worst possible experiences and spread their pain all over a book.
Pass on this one.
I am a retired military and am very aware of PTSD and other traumatic experiences. It is unfair to sift through the worst possible experiences and spread their pain all over a book.
Pass on this one.
April 28, 2016
When I began this book, I was mentally prepared to be confronted with horrific stories of war. It's no secret that soldier witness things we in the "normal" world can't even imagine and I was excited to finally read some unfiltered truth. And there were many things that shocked and brought light to this hostile environment these men and women are living in.
But sadly there was one major factor that bugged me. To me the purpose of this book was not the sharing of soldiers' stories, it felt as if the author used the soldiers as an excuse to talk about his own stories. It had a self-centered feel to it. Anytime a soldier gets interrupted in the middle of a story just so the author can remind us about his own tragic experiences I was only getting annoyed.
If you want to write an autobiographic book about your own horrifying experiences of war, go right ahead. But don't write a book under the pretense that you want soldiers to tell their stories only to turn it all around over and over and bring the focus back on yourself. That's rude and disrespectful and frankly only leaves the feeling of soldiers being used for personal monetary gain.
But sadly there was one major factor that bugged me. To me the purpose of this book was not the sharing of soldiers' stories, it felt as if the author used the soldiers as an excuse to talk about his own stories. It had a self-centered feel to it. Anytime a soldier gets interrupted in the middle of a story just so the author can remind us about his own tragic experiences I was only getting annoyed.
If you want to write an autobiographic book about your own horrifying experiences of war, go right ahead. But don't write a book under the pretense that you want soldiers to tell their stories only to turn it all around over and over and bring the focus back on yourself. That's rude and disrespectful and frankly only leaves the feeling of soldiers being used for personal monetary gain.
October 31, 2021
A 7 hour and 20 minute unabridged audiobook.
This book came across as a bit disjointed to me. But I can understand that those who went through the hardest moral choices can have the most difficult time dealing afterward. I hope this book helps them find peace, even if it was just an okay read for myself.
This book came across as a bit disjointed to me. But I can understand that those who went through the hardest moral choices can have the most difficult time dealing afterward. I hope this book helps them find peace, even if it was just an okay read for myself.
June 15, 2018
Only on page 132 and am finding it increasingly difficult to read this book for any length of time at one sitting. The issue is not that the book is not well written, it is because the storytelling evokes an intense, emotional drain. I find myself vacillating between the urge to cry from bone-deep sorrow and wanting-to-scream-at-someone in anger for what these boys/men have endured and continue to endure. Though truthfully the word endure seems to fall far short of their experiences. In order to find the depth of compassion and understanding necessary to support our soldiers as they rightly deserve, books such as this should be required reading. The stories captured within the pages of this book confirm that those who might too easily judge the actions of such soldiers, need to ‘walk in their shoes’, yet they also clearly reveal the heart-wrenching fact that that unless one is a soldier, this is an impossible task. It was an impossible task even for the author, a journalist, who covered the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and who found himself trying to ‘escape’ from what he observed and reported in some of the same destructive ways the soldiers sought out after returning to the States. Innocence lost—never to be recovered…
Finished. Sometimes words fall far short of being able to explain how a book touches one’s soul. This book is harsh and ugly in its truth and forces the eye to look at the duality that exists in us all—a duality which allows ‘good’ men to kill. Though the aftermath varies from individual to individual, there are some commonalities in its impact on the emotional and mental well-being of every soldier. Some stories are more hopeful, yet all share a darkness that can never be forgotten or escaped. And although the majority of the book’s chapters are accounts from American soldiers, the last two, one from an Israeli and the other a Dutch soldier, provide a perspective that the author’s theme is a universal one, rather than purely an American one. As an aside, I would add that the Israeli soldier's chapter provided a perspective on the Arab-Israeli conflict that enabled me to translate a complex issue into very simple, human terms. In the epilogue and throughout the book, the author’s personal struggles to cope with his own demons from his exposure to the wars strengthen the notes of despair that sound throughout the soldier's stories.
There is an amazing quote in the Acknowledgments section of the book from Chris Hedge’s book War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning: "We are tempted to reduce life to a simple search for happiness. Happiness, however, withers if there is no meaning. But to live only for meaning—indifferent to all happiness—makes us fanatic, self-righteous, and cold. It leaves us cut off from our own humanity and the humanity of others. We must hope for grace, for our lives to be sustained by moments of meaning and happiness, both equally worthy of human communion.”
Finished. Sometimes words fall far short of being able to explain how a book touches one’s soul. This book is harsh and ugly in its truth and forces the eye to look at the duality that exists in us all—a duality which allows ‘good’ men to kill. Though the aftermath varies from individual to individual, there are some commonalities in its impact on the emotional and mental well-being of every soldier. Some stories are more hopeful, yet all share a darkness that can never be forgotten or escaped. And although the majority of the book’s chapters are accounts from American soldiers, the last two, one from an Israeli and the other a Dutch soldier, provide a perspective that the author’s theme is a universal one, rather than purely an American one. As an aside, I would add that the Israeli soldier's chapter provided a perspective on the Arab-Israeli conflict that enabled me to translate a complex issue into very simple, human terms. In the epilogue and throughout the book, the author’s personal struggles to cope with his own demons from his exposure to the wars strengthen the notes of despair that sound throughout the soldier's stories.
There is an amazing quote in the Acknowledgments section of the book from Chris Hedge’s book War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning: "We are tempted to reduce life to a simple search for happiness. Happiness, however, withers if there is no meaning. But to live only for meaning—indifferent to all happiness—makes us fanatic, self-righteous, and cold. It leaves us cut off from our own humanity and the humanity of others. We must hope for grace, for our lives to be sustained by moments of meaning and happiness, both equally worthy of human communion.”
May 29, 2013
I read this alongside The Outpost (see review). This is a compelling, nuanced, and honestly introspective memoir of first-hand experiences in war. He begins with an anecdote about his guilt over failing to stop US soldiers from executing an unarmed prisoner. He is also burdened with remorse for failing to report in a timely manner (when it may have influenced America's view of the war in Iraq) other atrocities he witnessed as an embedded journalist. Although I don't recommend The Outpost, it was interesting to read simultaneously to see the difference between a writer and a journalist. It was also troubling to see the stark difference of perspective and purpose in the authors. Jake Tapper's book could easily become a John Wayne (who?--look it up!) era war movie and Kevin Sites an Apocalypse Now type of feature film. Reality lies somewhere between those two extremes. FYI: If you want to be informed--the best book on Afghanistan is Steve Coll's Ghost Wars.
These were my Memorial Day book reads. I think everyone should read a couple of books about our wars at least once a year. It really is the very least you can do to honor those families who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Also, why can't the 24-hour news channels report on the wars? PBS's Newshour is one of the few places you will ever hear any responsible reporting on the wars. PBS is also the only news media who honor our young women and men who die by respectfully showing their photos. If all the so-called news programs did the same, perhaps our discourse about the wars would be more responsible and respectful.
These were my Memorial Day book reads. I think everyone should read a couple of books about our wars at least once a year. It really is the very least you can do to honor those families who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Also, why can't the 24-hour news channels report on the wars? PBS's Newshour is one of the few places you will ever hear any responsible reporting on the wars. PBS is also the only news media who honor our young women and men who die by respectfully showing their photos. If all the so-called news programs did the same, perhaps our discourse about the wars would be more responsible and respectful.
February 17, 2013
I read a lot of history books, particularly on war. Most history is about war, as sadly war often defines us. Most books I read on this subject focus only on what happened, why and the outcome on nations. This book is about what happens to those we send to fight them, a much lesser told story, but one that really needs to be understood by more people. The book is not explicitly anti or pro war, it just explains the hidden cost most want to ignore. For me the message is not for a nation to avoid all wars (few would disagree WWII should not have been fought by the Allies), but if you do, make sure it is worth while and for god sake take care of those who we send when they come home.
The stories told were heart breaking, and the few with positive outcomes, inspiring. In particular the story about Corporal William Wold was powerful beyond expectation, a story truly tragic, it haunts me still since reading it. The enhanced Kindle version with the added video so adds to the impact of personalizing the story. Unforgettable.
I really recommend this read to those who know people who have served in combat and want to better understand the impact of war on them. You will never see them the same way again, not in a bad way, but in a way that will bring respect and compassion to the often unseen scars they bear.
The stories told were heart breaking, and the few with positive outcomes, inspiring. In particular the story about Corporal William Wold was powerful beyond expectation, a story truly tragic, it haunts me still since reading it. The enhanced Kindle version with the added video so adds to the impact of personalizing the story. Unforgettable.
I really recommend this read to those who know people who have served in combat and want to better understand the impact of war on them. You will never see them the same way again, not in a bad way, but in a way that will bring respect and compassion to the often unseen scars they bear.
February 8, 2015
I have a kind of weird criticism for this? The focus is ostensibly the soldiers and their stories and the "things they cannot say." But a lot of the book is about the author, who seems to be as deeply haunted by his demons as some of his interviewees' are by theirs. if this were an autobiography, why not? but to me it seemed disrespectful that he had to constantly interrupt other peoples' stories to remind us about his experiences and his guilt and his etc. was it a way of showing how genuinely he could empathize? maybe I'm being unfair, but to me it read more as a lack of empathy, even self-absorption; it was more like a work intended for personal growth and reflection, to be kept private, rather than something to share with the world. I didn't watch the videos, so maybe they would have given me a totally different perspective. (and maybe I'm just one of those people who doesn't love journalists?) nonetheless, the interviews capture a diverse range of experiences, attitudes, beliefs, and trajectories.
for a book that allows vets to speak very honestly about their experiences, I would recommend "what was asked of us." (it is painful.) if I had read this first, I might have been more appreciative.
for a book that allows vets to speak very honestly about their experiences, I would recommend "what was asked of us." (it is painful.) if I had read this first, I might have been more appreciative.
December 14, 2021
This was a pretty interesting read all around, Sites does a really nice job making war stories vivid and interesting while explaining jargon and situational information that civilian audiences might not understand or comprehend. He also does an exquisite job interweaving his own background and reading into the stories of soldiers that he shares here. The premise of the book is simple: let's talk to soldiers about some of the hardest questions it's possible to ask, probing topics like what it's like to take a life, what it's like to survive wounds, and what it's like to bury your friends. The representative stories that he gathers and tells here are incredible, beautiful, and haunting. But I wish there had been more of them. The book delivers on its premise and also seems like it's poised to deliver a lot more, but ends up having only a handful of stories and examples to use along the way. This is partially a consequence of veterans being unable or unwilling to share their stories, as Sites acknowledges at the book's outset, but I still wish there had been a bit more in terms of stories and research along the way. Still, a vivid volume that has important stories to tell and crucial things to say. The importance of telling these kinds of stories has only gained more importance over the time since the book was published, and for that reason above all else I'm glad this book exists.
December 27, 2022
Another random thrift store find, this book reminded me a bit of "The Things They Carried," which was referenced a few times. The stories, though, aren't just from one war but from many, and even a few non-US soldiers, which was refreshing to read. Moving, painful, touching, and I think I cried a few times. It's terrible what we expect from the men we send to war, and what little we do to support them when they come home.
April 5, 2023
This book shares the stories of soldiers from around the world and how they are coping (or more likely not) with war. It makes the point that society needs to share the burden of war so that the returning veterans do not feel separate and apart from the society they fight for, and that is profound. You or I may not agree with the idea of war, but we can still support those who sacrifice everything for their duty.
April 7, 2023
We’ll written book that will help you understand those who suffer to preserve the lifestyle and freedom the rest of us enjoy. Anyone caring, in anyway, for veterans should have this on their required reading list!
May 4, 2023
Tough read even if you’ve been through some of it,
March 17, 2024
Some of the passages became a little repetitive, but otherwise a solid read.
December 2, 2019
This is hard to read. The words aren't unusual. The sentences are not complex. But the stories are gut-wrenching. I find myself feeling an alternating jumble of anger, guilt, shame, admiration and pain. It can be exhausting.
Netflix coughed up The November War a few days ago. It is an anguishing companion piece.
Netflix coughed up The November War a few days ago. It is an anguishing companion piece.
July 6, 2017
This is raw! A collection of accounts of the battle trauma suffered by a number of veterans, principally in Iraq and Afghanistan, where the author was embedded as a journalist. The book is prefaced by an exploration of his own experiences and the impact they had on him. The book is really a classic collection of case studies of young men, who brought back, not only physical wounds but the mental wounds , now known as PTSD. They are text book case studies. They not only show up the consistencies between the experiences of every individual not matter what the particulars, but also the shamefully ignorant and inadequate way in which government and society has responded to their need.
After a century, yes what is happening now mirrors almost exactly what happened to warriors suffering from psychological wounds from WW 1 through every conflict since right up to Afghanistan. There is now a major difference, particularly in the US. The nature of the military organization that has supplied the troops to fight these wars has created a tsunami. The use of National Guard units on short term rotation, has meant multiple tours without sufficient decompression time between. This has entrenched and exacerbated the symptoms of the disorder and its deeper causes in ways that will make it, if anything more difficult to treat. That assumes that those responsible for the treatment actually have a clue why they are doing. They don't! Certainly not in Australia! Where, the approach is disjointed poorly organized, poorly delivered in the main, by inexperienced mediocre health professionals, who have literally ignored all the knowledge accumulated over 100 years and gone always with the latest gimmick, whether that be CBT, exposure therapy or whatever else. They all fail to meet the need. That has led to the evolution a veterans organizations, often the blind leading the blind, to fill the gaps that should be covered by government veterans services. They skate around the edges never really addressing the primary issues that relate directly to the effects of trauma, the shattering of identity! The approach must be not one that looks at these veterans as sick and needing a cure, but as human beings who have been through an extraordinary experience that equips them in ways others do not have access to, to employ wisdom and compassion in addressing the great issue of human existence. They've faced those issues in their barest and basest form, relying solely on whatever they might have had on the day.
One thing is for sure, the society from which they spring has failed them entirely, firstly by providing nothing to bolster and feed the spiritual resilience necessary to make sense of their experience and to turn it to good use, but by denying society's responsibility for the warriors actions taken in their name. Instead they prefer to ignore the soldiers need, turn away to another beer or the latest trivial annoyance in their lives and leave it to government to throw money at the problem, without any understanding of how it should be used.
It is a tragedy, and one that is going to increasingly haunt those who choose to ignore it.
After a century, yes what is happening now mirrors almost exactly what happened to warriors suffering from psychological wounds from WW 1 through every conflict since right up to Afghanistan. There is now a major difference, particularly in the US. The nature of the military organization that has supplied the troops to fight these wars has created a tsunami. The use of National Guard units on short term rotation, has meant multiple tours without sufficient decompression time between. This has entrenched and exacerbated the symptoms of the disorder and its deeper causes in ways that will make it, if anything more difficult to treat. That assumes that those responsible for the treatment actually have a clue why they are doing. They don't! Certainly not in Australia! Where, the approach is disjointed poorly organized, poorly delivered in the main, by inexperienced mediocre health professionals, who have literally ignored all the knowledge accumulated over 100 years and gone always with the latest gimmick, whether that be CBT, exposure therapy or whatever else. They all fail to meet the need. That has led to the evolution a veterans organizations, often the blind leading the blind, to fill the gaps that should be covered by government veterans services. They skate around the edges never really addressing the primary issues that relate directly to the effects of trauma, the shattering of identity! The approach must be not one that looks at these veterans as sick and needing a cure, but as human beings who have been through an extraordinary experience that equips them in ways others do not have access to, to employ wisdom and compassion in addressing the great issue of human existence. They've faced those issues in their barest and basest form, relying solely on whatever they might have had on the day.
One thing is for sure, the society from which they spring has failed them entirely, firstly by providing nothing to bolster and feed the spiritual resilience necessary to make sense of their experience and to turn it to good use, but by denying society's responsibility for the warriors actions taken in their name. Instead they prefer to ignore the soldiers need, turn away to another beer or the latest trivial annoyance in their lives and leave it to government to throw money at the problem, without any understanding of how it should be used.
It is a tragedy, and one that is going to increasingly haunt those who choose to ignore it.
April 12, 2013
“THE THINGS THEY CANNOT SAY” written by Kevin Sites, an independent cameraman that goes into combat zones with Soldiers and Marines to document what really happens in the heat of war. This book follows the lives of several people in the U.S and foreign armed forces and their hardships during and post war. Kevin Sites wrote this book with the intention of informing. He’s also posted several YouTube videos of what he recorded. It’s very informative. The book also is meant to give insight into a Marine/Soldiers life and how PTSD affects them.
The audience I believe would be mortified at the imagery of the book presents and the pure honesty of the writer. Those with weak stomachs wouldn’t appreciate the integrity of this literature. It creates a bad taste in one’s mouth to think that some things happen that shouldn’t happen. For example in the book Marine Cpl. William Wold was in Fallujah during Operation Vigilant Resolve and Phantom fury, two Marine Corps operations that should never be forgotten. In an interview with Kevin Sites he tells about how he wants to get out of the Marine Corps and how he made a mistake joining at 17 instead of playing football. This book with its collection of stories will definitely leave lasting values and an impression that no one who reads will ever forget.
This book is extremely well written because it’s from the heart; it’s first hand, all of it. All of the stories in this book are directly from the individuals’ that they are about, it’s all non-fiction. The YouTube videos that are posted are also the exact same thing that’s in the book, it’s all just put into words, with great detail. When Sites includes information in the footnotes about information, it provides clarification on some of the things that are happening. One of the footnotes shines light on the fact that operation Phantom fury was one of the bloodiest battles of the Iraq war. It also provides photos of those being interviewed to put an image and provide a realization that these are young men that literally give the ultimate sacrifice.
This book was extremely captivating; it kept me hooked all the way through. I couldn’t relate to any of the people, they do more than I do, and they’re a part of something bigger than me. It was never boring, it was real and readers can appreciate an honest writer. The book was very thought provoking; it kept you thinking about the mages that are caused when the words jump off the pages. The greatest strength of this work is it’s honesty, it’s greatest weakness s that it hasn’t been discovered by as many people as it should have. I’d recommend this book to anyone who’d take the time to listen, it would be my honor.
The audience I believe would be mortified at the imagery of the book presents and the pure honesty of the writer. Those with weak stomachs wouldn’t appreciate the integrity of this literature. It creates a bad taste in one’s mouth to think that some things happen that shouldn’t happen. For example in the book Marine Cpl. William Wold was in Fallujah during Operation Vigilant Resolve and Phantom fury, two Marine Corps operations that should never be forgotten. In an interview with Kevin Sites he tells about how he wants to get out of the Marine Corps and how he made a mistake joining at 17 instead of playing football. This book with its collection of stories will definitely leave lasting values and an impression that no one who reads will ever forget.
This book is extremely well written because it’s from the heart; it’s first hand, all of it. All of the stories in this book are directly from the individuals’ that they are about, it’s all non-fiction. The YouTube videos that are posted are also the exact same thing that’s in the book, it’s all just put into words, with great detail. When Sites includes information in the footnotes about information, it provides clarification on some of the things that are happening. One of the footnotes shines light on the fact that operation Phantom fury was one of the bloodiest battles of the Iraq war. It also provides photos of those being interviewed to put an image and provide a realization that these are young men that literally give the ultimate sacrifice.
This book was extremely captivating; it kept me hooked all the way through. I couldn’t relate to any of the people, they do more than I do, and they’re a part of something bigger than me. It was never boring, it was real and readers can appreciate an honest writer. The book was very thought provoking; it kept you thinking about the mages that are caused when the words jump off the pages. The greatest strength of this work is it’s honesty, it’s greatest weakness s that it hasn’t been discovered by as many people as it should have. I’d recommend this book to anyone who’d take the time to listen, it would be my honor.
October 11, 2012
This has to be one of the most intense books I have ever read. I am not a soldier, nor has anyone very close to me been in situations such as the stories told in this book. I am not quite sure why I entered the goodreads drawing to win this book, but I am so glad that I did.
At times throughout the book, the stories of war, death and the emotions were so great that I felt as though I could cry for all the pain the people were going through. It is not another war book though. It captures the lives of those who witnessed or partook in events first hand and how that has changed their lives and those around them. One of the great things about this book is that the stories are from soldiers from different countries and different wars.
It is not about any certain war and has no political agenda. The stories told are real and told by the soldiers who lived it. The author, a war correspondent, has his own living nightmare to tell. The best reason I loved the book is that it comes full circle. Some might think that only darkness or sadness could come from tales such as these. Sure, there is darkness and sadness, but more importantly there is hope.
With all the wars going on through out the globe and all the propaganda that is fed to us or how we are censored, it is great that a book such as this was written. I have a teenage son who has always wanted to join the military when he becomes old enough. I gave him this book to read, not to try to get him not to join, but to hear real stories of what it can be like and to know what it can be like when you come home.
I highly recommend this book for anyone to read. I would like to thank goodreads and Harper Perennial for the advance copy for free to read and review.
At times throughout the book, the stories of war, death and the emotions were so great that I felt as though I could cry for all the pain the people were going through. It is not another war book though. It captures the lives of those who witnessed or partook in events first hand and how that has changed their lives and those around them. One of the great things about this book is that the stories are from soldiers from different countries and different wars.
It is not about any certain war and has no political agenda. The stories told are real and told by the soldiers who lived it. The author, a war correspondent, has his own living nightmare to tell. The best reason I loved the book is that it comes full circle. Some might think that only darkness or sadness could come from tales such as these. Sure, there is darkness and sadness, but more importantly there is hope.
With all the wars going on through out the globe and all the propaganda that is fed to us or how we are censored, it is great that a book such as this was written. I have a teenage son who has always wanted to join the military when he becomes old enough. I gave him this book to read, not to try to get him not to join, but to hear real stories of what it can be like and to know what it can be like when you come home.
I highly recommend this book for anyone to read. I would like to thank goodreads and Harper Perennial for the advance copy for free to read and review.
July 15, 2016
I should probably do a bit more research on how well Sites' work has been received by both his journalist colleagues and combat veterans who have read his work. I loved the line wherein the Dutch sniper tells him, "I hate jouralists," and Sites replies with, "Get in line." I think Sites has some extremely valuable insights into how we as a society are disconnected from what it is we have our warriors do in our (collective) name (see Andrew Bacevich, "Breach of Trust: How Americans Failed Their Soldiers and Their Country"). My interest level is piqued by my own lack of first-hand knowledge of combat, but knowing colleagues (and classmates) who have such knowledge and not knowing whether they are in the category of veterans who wish to, or need to, share their experiences. Some would likely be offended, and some relieved that anyone cares enough to avail them of an outlet for their stories. Sites is, I think, on to something in soliciting such stories for the body politic, in order for it to be fully cognizant of what it is we ask of those soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines. I thought that his revelation of what he had failed to do that might have prevented the death of an Iraqi in his early experience in the company of Marines was quite telling, but I wonder if the book might have held my interest as well as it did had I understood earlier why Sites' own guilt was so central to the overall story. He had a prisoner experience at the hands of Saddam's minions that he, in retrospect, after counseling, now sees should have prepared him - it seems a bit convoluted, but understandable. I may have to keep this one around for another listen.
December 3, 2014
This book details the worst moments in the lives of soldiers at war from their point of view, illustrating how they often return from the physical life and death struggle of war to an anguished psychological life and death struggle in the aftermath. The author makes the very compelling case that when we, as citizens, send our soldiers to war, we have a moral obligation to hear their stories and take a share of the burdens they carry back with them. I have taken this lesson to heart and am very grateful for it.
This powerful message is delivered with intelligence and a deep thoughtfulness - but the author himself gets in the way of the soldier's narratives. There is a difference between the soldiers' sacrifice and service in the military and the author's voluntary career choice to report on war at his own risk.
This book caused me to carefully weigh and consider my thoughts on
- the cause, purpose and meaning of war in our culture
- the cause, purpose and meaning of war in other cultures
- the value of a human life
- the fragility of human life
- the devastating and irreversible consequences of split-second decisions and bad luck
- the permanence of damage to participants of war
- the commonality of suffering experienced by participants of war
- the debt we owe our soldiers and the ways in which we must repay it
More than anything, I wish to God for a world without war. And I am filled with sorrow for all the pain our soldiers endure.
This powerful message is delivered with intelligence and a deep thoughtfulness - but the author himself gets in the way of the soldier's narratives. There is a difference between the soldiers' sacrifice and service in the military and the author's voluntary career choice to report on war at his own risk.
This book caused me to carefully weigh and consider my thoughts on
- the cause, purpose and meaning of war in our culture
- the cause, purpose and meaning of war in other cultures
- the value of a human life
- the fragility of human life
- the devastating and irreversible consequences of split-second decisions and bad luck
- the permanence of damage to participants of war
- the commonality of suffering experienced by participants of war
- the debt we owe our soldiers and the ways in which we must repay it
More than anything, I wish to God for a world without war. And I am filled with sorrow for all the pain our soldiers endure.
April 10, 2016
I loved this book. I read in a literal day, that is how much I couldn't bear to put it down. Full of raw pain, honesty, strength, the struggle with betrayal and injustice and the fight between the good and bad of a humans own soul, this book captured it all perfectly and left me crying on the floor after the first chapter. (Figuratively, not literally, but oh the emotions!).
This is such an intense and powerful book. It really highlights war in all it's uncensored and haunting truth, and is a real eye-opener to the dangers and hardships faced by soldiers every day.
The only down-fall of this book was that I feel the synopsis was a little but miss-leading. I was expecting war stories from eleven men, which I got, but the chapters were closer to biographies of each man rather than specific stories of the wars they had fought in. This was no less interesting, just different to what I expected.
This is such an intense and powerful book. It really highlights war in all it's uncensored and haunting truth, and is a real eye-opener to the dangers and hardships faced by soldiers every day.
The only down-fall of this book was that I feel the synopsis was a little but miss-leading. I was expecting war stories from eleven men, which I got, but the chapters were closer to biographies of each man rather than specific stories of the wars they had fought in. This was no less interesting, just different to what I expected.
March 8, 2013
Absolutely intense and personal look into the acts of commission and omission that our servicemen and women face in war and how they bring it back with them. This book is compiled through interviews with soldiers of different nations and from wars from Vietnam to the current wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The mental stresses they bring back with them and the toll it has on them makes the stark realization that we as a nation have a future filled with individuals who served their country willingly and will depend on their country to help and maintain them the rest of their lives.
This book is an eye opener and at times is difficult to continue through because it is such a difficult thing to realize we are sending boys and girls to do work that men and women should not have to do and they pay for it with their souls and their minds.
This book is an eye opener and at times is difficult to continue through because it is such a difficult thing to realize we are sending boys and girls to do work that men and women should not have to do and they pay for it with their souls and their minds.
April 9, 2013
This book very clearly addresses a problem that our society tends to place out of sight, the effects of war on those who are actually engaged in it. We tend to keep our conflicts at an arms length, especially the most current one, which puts us in a poor position to understand the experiences that our soldiers go through. As a person who is in the presence of death nearly every time I work, I can understand the burden that it places on your psyche. This book clearly tells the tale of soldiers from many wars and many nations who share the common experience of PTSD and trouble reentering civilian life. I think if we are ever going to be able to support these men and women, we are going to need to understand their experience and worldview. This book is a good step.
August 3, 2013
7/31/13. A must read for anyone who cares about veterans. Kevin Sites has done a good job of looking at the hidden costs of war on the young men our country sends to fight our wars. This book does a wonderful job of explicating the psychological and spiritual wounds combat inflicts on those who fight as well as those who observe. As a 2013 book, I wish Sites had included a woman's experience/perspective but hopefully he will do this in his next work. As a trauma psychologist, I was very pleased to see EMDR mentioned. An important addition to the growing body of work (read Marlantes, Shay, etc) that looks at the effects of war on the inner lives of soldiers.
July 18, 2014
The military spends a few months "breaking you down" to "build you back up" in their image and then send you off to kill and be surrounded by chaos and life and death and all the horrors of war. Then they just send you back into life with no reversal of basic training. What do they expect? I suppose it takes a certain kind of person to kill and not have it ruin them, but if this book (and so many like it) are any indication, most soldiers are not that type of creature. It's so sad what war does to people. On all sides.
November 16, 2012
I recieved this book through a First Reads giveaway.
I originally signed op for this book for my husband, who reads mostly military books. In the end I liked it more than him.
The stories are amazing, and its shocking to hear some of the things said. Its heartbreaking to imagine so many young men killing others. Its given me a lot of perspective.
I would recommend this to any American. We should all strive to understand the sacrifices being made for us.
I originally signed op for this book for my husband, who reads mostly military books. In the end I liked it more than him.
The stories are amazing, and its shocking to hear some of the things said. Its heartbreaking to imagine so many young men killing others. Its given me a lot of perspective.
I would recommend this to any American. We should all strive to understand the sacrifices being made for us.
February 26, 2015
This book was quite excellent. Well written with compelling content. The one warning I would issue if this book is not for everyone. If you still suffer from PTSD this book should be approached with caution. It contains sometimes graphic stories of war and the death therein. For all others, this is a necessary read. It shares the minds of soldiers and Marines with you. This is necessary for an informed citizenry to understand what the men and women in the armed forces go through in combat.
October 9, 2012
If you want to get a firsthand account of what horrors some of our soldiers have seen and been through, and what the after effects are that follow them home to their regular lives and families, read this book. We may never have to go through what they did, but seeing their side and seeing some of their photos will make you see things in a different light too.
February 25, 2014
As a veteran this book helped me realize that I am not alone. There are so many stories left untold. A great read.
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