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Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please! How To Survive Caring For Aging Parents
ELDER RAGE is a Book-of-the-Month Club selection (a first for a book on caregiving) receiving 50 endorsements (Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Leeza Gibbons, Ken Dychtwald, John Hopkins Memory Clinic, Harvard Medical School… ), hundreds of 5-star Amazon reviews, is required text at numerous universities for courses in geriatric assessment and management, and being considered for a film.
ELDER RAGE is a riveting, often LOL humorous non-fiction novel and self-help caregiving guide chronicling Jacqueline Marcell's trials, tribulations and eventual success at managing the care of her challenging father and sweet but ailing mother. Creative solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care, answering difficult ‘how to’ questions hiring caregivers, getting obstinate elders to give up driving, accept a housekeeper/caregiver, see different doctors, take medication, shower and hygiene, eat properly, attend adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes a wealth of valuable resources.
ELDER RAGE includes an extensive Addendum by renowned neurologist/dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS A Physician’s Guide to Treating Dementia, making it valuable for everyone from the family to the physician. Author media TODAY, CNN, AARP Bulletin cover story, Woman’s Day, Prevention, and hundreds of radio/television interviews and keynote presentations. Honors Advocate of the Year from the National Association of Women Business Owners at their Remarkable Women Awards--and a Media Award from the National Adult Day Services Association.
ELDER RAGE is a riveting, often LOL humorous non-fiction novel and self-help caregiving guide chronicling Jacqueline Marcell's trials, tribulations and eventual success at managing the care of her challenging father and sweet but ailing mother. Creative solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care, answering difficult ‘how to’ questions hiring caregivers, getting obstinate elders to give up driving, accept a housekeeper/caregiver, see different doctors, take medication, shower and hygiene, eat properly, attend adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes a wealth of valuable resources.
ELDER RAGE includes an extensive Addendum by renowned neurologist/dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS A Physician’s Guide to Treating Dementia, making it valuable for everyone from the family to the physician. Author media TODAY, CNN, AARP Bulletin cover story, Woman’s Day, Prevention, and hundreds of radio/television interviews and keynote presentations. Honors Advocate of the Year from the National Association of Women Business Owners at their Remarkable Women Awards--and a Media Award from the National Adult Day Services Association.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
368 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2001
43 people are currently reading
121 people want to read
About the author
Jacqueline Marcell
4 books8 followersJACQUELINE MARCELL barely survived as a caregiver to her (once-adoring) 'challenging' father and sweet mother, both with Alzheimer’s undiagnosed for over a year. But after fighting through the medical system and depleting her parents’ life savings and much of her own, she figured everything out medically, behaviorally, socially, legally, financially and emotionally.
Passion to save others (especially from elder abuse) compelled her to write ELDER RAGE (print, audio, Kindle/Nook), a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 550+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, 50+ endorsements: www.ElderRage.com/Review.asp, is required reading at numerous universities for courses in geriatric assessment and management, and considered for a film. EXCERPT: www.ElderRage.com/SampleChapter.asp
She is also an INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER educating on issues that unnecessarily cost years of her life and then nearly her life itself when she survived invasive breast cancer. Hundreds of presentations include for the California Governor’s Conference, National Security Agency (closed-circuit to 36,000 employees worldwide), National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, and Florida House of Representatives. Modifiable for any group, CEU/CME, numerous topics and references: www.ElderRage.com/SpeakingEngagements....
Seminar/Caregiving CDs and consultations available.
'Thank you for your superb presentation to our dementia specialists, senior neurologists, neuropsychologists, scientists, nurses, students, and caregivers who came specifically to hear you. Your ability to combine humor, insight, wisdom and meaningful guidance to all involved in the care for those with dementia was sensational. Each gained useful tips and tools that will enrich our professional practices and personal experiences.’
—Alzheimer's Disease Clinical & Research Program, Boston University School of Medicine
MEDIA includes: TODAY, CNN, PBS Alzheimer’s Documentary, AARP Bulletin cover story, Woman’s Day, Prevention, hundreds of radio/television interviews.
HONORS include: Media Award from the National Adult Day Services Association, and Advocate of the Year from the National Association of Women Business Owners.
Passion to save others (especially from elder abuse) compelled her to write ELDER RAGE (print, audio, Kindle/Nook), a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 550+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, 50+ endorsements: www.ElderRage.com/Review.asp, is required reading at numerous universities for courses in geriatric assessment and management, and considered for a film. EXCERPT: www.ElderRage.com/SampleChapter.asp
She is also an INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER educating on issues that unnecessarily cost years of her life and then nearly her life itself when she survived invasive breast cancer. Hundreds of presentations include for the California Governor’s Conference, National Security Agency (closed-circuit to 36,000 employees worldwide), National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, and Florida House of Representatives. Modifiable for any group, CEU/CME, numerous topics and references: www.ElderRage.com/SpeakingEngagements....
Seminar/Caregiving CDs and consultations available.
'Thank you for your superb presentation to our dementia specialists, senior neurologists, neuropsychologists, scientists, nurses, students, and caregivers who came specifically to hear you. Your ability to combine humor, insight, wisdom and meaningful guidance to all involved in the care for those with dementia was sensational. Each gained useful tips and tools that will enrich our professional practices and personal experiences.’
—Alzheimer's Disease Clinical & Research Program, Boston University School of Medicine
MEDIA includes: TODAY, CNN, PBS Alzheimer’s Documentary, AARP Bulletin cover story, Woman’s Day, Prevention, hundreds of radio/television interviews.
HONORS include: Media Award from the National Adult Day Services Association, and Advocate of the Year from the National Association of Women Business Owners.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
October 14, 2015
Tremendously Good & Surprisingly Funny Read!
“Elder Rage” helped me so much through my mother's dementia, as it gave me great peace of mind to know the array of emotions that wreak havoc with your world are normal and others feel the same way. I usually forget what I read quickly, but the lessons and love of “Elder Rage” have stuck with me. I passed it to a friend going through it with her father and it helped her so much with self-doubt and what to do. I recommend it to anyone, whether you are dealing with Alzheimer's or not—I loved reading it!
“Elder Rage” helped me so much through my mother's dementia, as it gave me great peace of mind to know the array of emotions that wreak havoc with your world are normal and others feel the same way. I usually forget what I read quickly, but the lessons and love of “Elder Rage” have stuck with me. I passed it to a friend going through it with her father and it helped her so much with self-doubt and what to do. I recommend it to anyone, whether you are dealing with Alzheimer's or not—I loved reading it!
August 19, 2008
I learned that my in-laws are not the only hard to manage senior citizens. So many of the problems we are having with them have parallels in this book. The book is extremely well written and I couldn't put it down once I started to read it. I liked the humorous style and it made a difficult situation more easily understood. There are also excellent suggestions and resources listed in the final section of the book. A must read for caregivers of elderly relatives.
December 13, 2008
I didn't finish this book; ran out of time before Christmas. I found it hilariously true; meaning that while the situation described is difficult, there is comedy in the difficulty. I related to the problems. I also got a headache as I read and found the reality of it distressing. That is probably because I am a care giver myself, so it hit home with me.
March 12, 2012
An interesting read. Since it was for class, I was very happy that there was humor and that I found myself wanting to keep reading. If you are dealing with an older adult family member with a recent diagnosis of Alzheimer's or Dementia, or if you have found yourself to be their caretaker, this is a good book to make you feel less alone.
January 17, 2015
My father had stroke induced vascular dementia for over 8 years, leaving us devastated at his mental and personality loss long before we lost him physically to death in February 2012. My mother and I were his primary care-givers through all the inexorable changes in his behaviour that this disease afflicts on its sufferers over the long, painful years. At the time I read ELDER RAGE, I approached it as a reader with a sincere desire to be helped through what was a sad and heart-breaking experience for my family and I.
I could not finish ELDER RAGE as I found the humour banal and the endless song references irritating.
I also could not relate to the relationship between the author and her father. I was searching for spiritual and emotional guidance on how to cope with the difficulties of care-giving for my Father, as his mental, physical and emotional deterioration took a heavy toll as we had always been privileged to have the most wonderful, gentle and loving man as a Father.
ELDER RAGE did not provide me with anything that I needed or required from a text on caregiving for the elderly.
If you are looking for a wise and compassionate book that sensitively guides you through a similar caregiving experience, I'd highly recommend another book called "SO FAR AWAY: A Daughter's Memoir of Life, Loss and Love" by Dr Christine W Hartmann So Far Away: A Daughter's Memoir of Life, Loss, and Love
Another excellent book which provides spiritual guidance for a person in a caregiving role is "BEING WITH DYING: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death" by Dr Joan Halifax Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death)
A gentle and practical look at the dying process can be found in the difficult to get hold of book, "CROSSING THE CREEK: A Practical Guide to Understanding Dying Process" by Michael Holmes, RN
A delightfully funny and compassionate book about care giving for the elderly is "THE SELFISH PIG'S GUIDE TO CARING" by Hugh Marriott The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring
DISCLAIMER: I have no connection, affiliation or association whatsoever with the authors of the alternative books I recommend, other than as a reader who discovered an author whose book provided me with immense comfort during a difficult time in my life. I end my review of ELDER RAGE by recommending these books as alternatives for other readers who are looking for more positive, compassionate and spiritual reads than ELDER RAGE provided me.
I could not finish ELDER RAGE as I found the humour banal and the endless song references irritating.
I also could not relate to the relationship between the author and her father. I was searching for spiritual and emotional guidance on how to cope with the difficulties of care-giving for my Father, as his mental, physical and emotional deterioration took a heavy toll as we had always been privileged to have the most wonderful, gentle and loving man as a Father.
ELDER RAGE did not provide me with anything that I needed or required from a text on caregiving for the elderly.
If you are looking for a wise and compassionate book that sensitively guides you through a similar caregiving experience, I'd highly recommend another book called "SO FAR AWAY: A Daughter's Memoir of Life, Loss and Love" by Dr Christine W Hartmann So Far Away: A Daughter's Memoir of Life, Loss, and Love
Another excellent book which provides spiritual guidance for a person in a caregiving role is "BEING WITH DYING: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death" by Dr Joan Halifax Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death)
A gentle and practical look at the dying process can be found in the difficult to get hold of book, "CROSSING THE CREEK: A Practical Guide to Understanding Dying Process" by Michael Holmes, RN
A delightfully funny and compassionate book about care giving for the elderly is "THE SELFISH PIG'S GUIDE TO CARING" by Hugh Marriott The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring
DISCLAIMER: I have no connection, affiliation or association whatsoever with the authors of the alternative books I recommend, other than as a reader who discovered an author whose book provided me with immense comfort during a difficult time in my life. I end my review of ELDER RAGE by recommending these books as alternatives for other readers who are looking for more positive, compassionate and spiritual reads than ELDER RAGE provided me.
November 11, 2018
I couldn't finish this book. The book needed some serious editing and the writing style was simply irritating to read. Not every paragraph needs to end with a funny/not-funny pop-culture joke. It was formulaic and distracting. I appreciate her anecdotes of her life as a caregiver of elderly parents. Many of her experiences mirrored my own. However the author's constant whining about how bad the situation was and her constant complaints about being the poor put upon victim got really old, really fast. I was starting to feel enraged while reading the book. The book is not about the trials of being a caregiver, it's a memoir of the author as she recounts the time period of her life when she was traumatized while caring for her parents. The book is about her, not them.
March 25, 2007
A must read for those who are caring for elderly parents or have loved ones who suffer from memory loss, dementia. The author suddenly finds she must care for her aging parents and is ill prepared to do so. At the end of her story, the author shares her lessons and valuable to do lists.
May 22, 2012
This book saved me from a nervous breakdown. It helped me laugh at my situation with my Mother. And also helped me by giving me great tips. If you are a caregiver of someone with dementia it is wonderful .
August 14, 2008
This is a really good read for anyone that has parents or grandparents dealing with dementia and helps understanding lots of the transitions.
Read
November 4, 2009great book, really enjoyed reading this book. the author shows alot of love and compassion for her parents.
February 21, 2011
Really good insight into the role of caregivers and the stress that they are under
March 5, 2018
I caught myself at times calling to my husband, "Sweetie, listen to this!" then doing it again, and again as I encountered situations in this book that I'd experienced. It was if there'd been a camera following me. Just spent the last 15 months dealing with not one but two angry parents with Alzheimer's. Yes, finally diagnosed, but like the author, I ran into so many brick walls with doctors who blew off dementia and would not take the time to properly diagnose. Most doctors do not care to give seniors the attention needed to properly diagnose and treat these individuals. They've written them off as being on their last leg. A ten minute office visit doesn't cut it. My own health suffered dealing with the frustration of juggling ignorant medical staff, rude medical staff, managing finances, and simply getting my parents to eat. I fought another family who didn't get it. And if I hadn't had a husband diligently at my side, I don't know what I would have done. We are all at a better place now that they are in a nice (as in posh, thank goodness they can afford it) assisted living facility, but the journey scarred everyone horribly deep. The author described some dicey situations I experienced as well, and while that's hard, I think the most frustrating part of the situation, like she encountered, was the deafness of the medical community. Thanks for making me laugh....and for letting me realize I was doing the right thing...and that there are so many others out there like me. I've not yet healed from all of this, but things are better. The casualties of this disease are way more than the seniors themselves.
May 22, 2012
I've found ELDER RAGE to be most helpful during my time with a difficult and aging father. My situation was somewhat similar to Ms. Marcell's, although the information within the book can easily be applied to any family dynamic. The humor made the entire subject easier to take and the information was quite helpful. Have recommended ELDER RAGE to family and friends, all of whom have been helped by it. Thank you, Ms. Marcell, for coming forward at a time when it wasn't so common to do so and arming your many readers with ways in which to cope with difficult and aging parents. No small feat.
January 26, 2013
I have been reading a number of books on Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia to help understand what is happening with my mother. This book helped to put some of that reading in perspective. I know not everyone would enjoy the humor, but humor is how I get through some of the events with my mother. And many of the behaviors of my mother are similar to Jackie's dad. A tough time for all concerned. The book has a lot of suggestions and sources for information that make for a good starting point. I wish the book could be updated with a new edition with more current information and sources.
August 6, 2012
Valuable Caregiving Tool!
I have been a Geriatric Social Worker, Financial Social Worker, and caregiver for a grandparent, aunt, and parents. When I became an Elder Planning Counselor, I heard Jacqueline’s words of wisdom as she spoke at a conference and purchased Elder Rage as a learning tool. It has been empowering for me as an eldercare professional and an important part of my own wellbeing as I became a caregiver to my beloved husband. Highly recommended!
--Lynda Weinrib, Elder Planning Counselor, Toronto
I have been a Geriatric Social Worker, Financial Social Worker, and caregiver for a grandparent, aunt, and parents. When I became an Elder Planning Counselor, I heard Jacqueline’s words of wisdom as she spoke at a conference and purchased Elder Rage as a learning tool. It has been empowering for me as an eldercare professional and an important part of my own wellbeing as I became a caregiver to my beloved husband. Highly recommended!
--Lynda Weinrib, Elder Planning Counselor, Toronto
June 27, 2012
I love this book. I read it about ten years ago and I recommend it to everyone I know who has anything to do with the elderly, whether they have Alzheimer's or not. It will make you laugh and make you cry. It's honest, moving, and an eye-opener into the world of Alzheimer's. All caregivers should read it, whether you have a family member with Alzheimer's or volunteer with the elderly as many of us do. It's a keeper!
Maureen Madore
Maureen Madore
November 29, 2012
I'm a nurse and also work in Medical Humanities where stories of illness and caregiving are highly valued. So I speak from professional as well as personal experience when I say listening to ‘Elder Rage’ helped me cope with my own challenging elderly family members – and as a result I've grown much more patient with them. Highly recommended for everyone from the family to the physician. Thank you Jacqueline!
July 6, 2012
I purchased ‘Elder Rage’ for a friend taking care of a parent, but as I thumbed through I was immediately hooked and could not put it down! The story is poignant and comical, including great insights and resources for dealing with dreaded dementia. I highly recommend it!
Lany Kay Martell,REALTOR
Rush & Associates Realty,
Robson Ranch, Arizona,
MartellHomes4Sale.com
Lany Kay Martell,REALTOR
Rush & Associates Realty,
Robson Ranch, Arizona,
MartellHomes4Sale.com
September 8, 2012
An honest and heart wrenching story of the sacrifices necessary to properly care for our aging parents. A real eye opener in regards to the costs, both in dollars and emotion.
November 13, 2012
Great story. Really motivates you to plan ahead and buy long-term care insurance. That and fight the system!
February 15, 2016
I'd say it was "humorous", if I wasn't dealing with a similar (yet not as advanced) situation..... Her father's psychotic dementia induced rages were not funny.... They were frightening.
From her webpage:
"Are You At Your Wit's End
With Elder Care
And coping with an elderly loved one who:
• Makes unreasonable demands, wanting all of your time?
• Is experiencing memory loss or dementia / Alzheimer’s?
• Is obsessed with ill health, but refuses to see the doctor?
• Has become depressed, manipulative, distrustful or hostile?
• Refuses any mention of caregiving or elder care help?
Then you'll love this riveting true story, written with compassion, heart and humor—and realize that you're not alone with your countless frustrations and conflicting emotions. This incredible roller coaster ride is a can't-put-it-down page-turner, as well as a how-to guide for struggling caregivers. Triumph with this devoted daughter as she mends her frail mother and finally turns her rebellious "Jekyll & Hyde" father around, with the right doctors and medications, adult day care, and creative behavior modification—at 85 years old!
Eldercare Expert, Jacqueline Marcell,
Answers Your Caregiving Questions!
You Will Learn
• How to get an accurate diagnosis for dementia/Alzheimer’s.
• Behavioral techniques for managing challenging elders.
• Creative ways to get an obstinate elder to give up driving.
• Where to find resources to make caregiving less stressful.
• How to successfully navigate the maze of elder care.
A Book-of-the-Month Club selection, Elder Rage is a unique combination non-fiction novel and self-help book. Includes a wealth of practical information, valuable resources, Alzheimer’s disease information, startling statistics, long term care insurance, caregiving tips, eldercare services, long term care trends, recommended reading, and how to hire live-in caregiving help. Suitable for anyone facing the challenges of caregiving and for everyone who thinks it will never happen to them!
"Jacqueline's story and style of writing will surely grab a large readership. Studded with flashes of humor, it demonstrates the enormous resourcefulness and resilience of the human spirit."
—Hugh Downs"
All I can say, is I learned several things about Elder Rage, and the loss of control that helps bring it on.... I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with elderly parents who have spontaneous outbursts of uncontrollable anger....
I left my copy for my parents to read.
From her webpage:
"Are You At Your Wit's End
With Elder Care
And coping with an elderly loved one who:
• Makes unreasonable demands, wanting all of your time?
• Is experiencing memory loss or dementia / Alzheimer’s?
• Is obsessed with ill health, but refuses to see the doctor?
• Has become depressed, manipulative, distrustful or hostile?
• Refuses any mention of caregiving or elder care help?
Then you'll love this riveting true story, written with compassion, heart and humor—and realize that you're not alone with your countless frustrations and conflicting emotions. This incredible roller coaster ride is a can't-put-it-down page-turner, as well as a how-to guide for struggling caregivers. Triumph with this devoted daughter as she mends her frail mother and finally turns her rebellious "Jekyll & Hyde" father around, with the right doctors and medications, adult day care, and creative behavior modification—at 85 years old!
Eldercare Expert, Jacqueline Marcell,
Answers Your Caregiving Questions!
You Will Learn
• How to get an accurate diagnosis for dementia/Alzheimer’s.
• Behavioral techniques for managing challenging elders.
• Creative ways to get an obstinate elder to give up driving.
• Where to find resources to make caregiving less stressful.
• How to successfully navigate the maze of elder care.
A Book-of-the-Month Club selection, Elder Rage is a unique combination non-fiction novel and self-help book. Includes a wealth of practical information, valuable resources, Alzheimer’s disease information, startling statistics, long term care insurance, caregiving tips, eldercare services, long term care trends, recommended reading, and how to hire live-in caregiving help. Suitable for anyone facing the challenges of caregiving and for everyone who thinks it will never happen to them!
"Jacqueline's story and style of writing will surely grab a large readership. Studded with flashes of humor, it demonstrates the enormous resourcefulness and resilience of the human spirit."
—Hugh Downs"
All I can say, is I learned several things about Elder Rage, and the loss of control that helps bring it on.... I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with elderly parents who have spontaneous outbursts of uncontrollable anger....
I left my copy for my parents to read.
December 14, 2013
A good book and helpful resource. Initially, when I started reading it, I wasn't sure I was going to like it as the author seemed to make a lot of jokes that felt like they distracted from the story. However, I got used to her style and saw it as part of her, having spent time working in the media and around performers.
The author details her experience caring for two aging parents in various stages of dementia, her father's being the worst. Hence, the book title.
Anyone caring for an aging loved one, particularly a parent will be able to relate to much in the book, regardless of whether that individual has dementia or not. Here's just a sampling of some of the relatable passages:
There were also some good pointers in the book that I've noted and will be following up on for my mother. Tips such as:
--Getting a credit off the electric bill for a disabled person on oxygen
--Getting a free phone from the phone company with large buttons and volume enhancement
The most helpful and informative part of the book, I felt, was in the back. For instance, information such as Medicare and health insurance not covering caregiving in the home. There is also an extensive list of resources and a physician's guide on how to deal with Alzheimer's and those with aggression.
All in all, I would say it is a helpful book and I would recommend it.
The author details her experience caring for two aging parents in various stages of dementia, her father's being the worst. Hence, the book title.
Anyone caring for an aging loved one, particularly a parent will be able to relate to much in the book, regardless of whether that individual has dementia or not. Here's just a sampling of some of the relatable passages:
"I laughed when I found myself hanging out regularly at the medical supply store, instead of Starbucks, and reading the Sears medical supply catalog like a riveting novel."
"...sadly realized that my parents just didn't see dirt anymore."
There were also some good pointers in the book that I've noted and will be following up on for my mother. Tips such as:
--Getting a credit off the electric bill for a disabled person on oxygen
--Getting a free phone from the phone company with large buttons and volume enhancement
The most helpful and informative part of the book, I felt, was in the back. For instance, information such as Medicare and health insurance not covering caregiving in the home. There is also an extensive list of resources and a physician's guide on how to deal with Alzheimer's and those with aggression.
All in all, I would say it is a helpful book and I would recommend it.
January 17, 2014
This is a fabulous book for caregivers full of useful life hacks
If you are a caregiver this book could SAVE YOUR LIFE! Helpful and Entertaining: Wonderful book for caregivers
Once I found time to read this wonderful book, couldn't put it down. Not only is it informative, it is well written and entertaining.
I've been a full time caregiver since 2000 + prior pt (assisted father with care of Mother since 1994 until his death in1999) . I am currently caring for Mother who survived 2 strokes (Max assist transfers) and also has multiple physical and psychological challenges.
I wish I had this book years ago as I know my marriage and every aspect of my personal life and health would not have suffered as severely. Like most caregivers, I had no idea who to handle the situation in the beginning and didn't expect for Mother's condition to worsen and require so much sacrifice from my husband and I.
I love that Jacqueline writes with many lyrical and theoretical examples , I do the same (lyrically anyway), especially when recalling especially happy and sad events as that as how I think and that is how I've coped with difficult emotions most of my life. It is as though you are right there with her when the events took place. So much more supportive for caregivers than a dry manual with no real life examples.
I'm now in the midst of preparing paperwork for respite and adult daycare, neither of which I knew existed before reading this book.
Caregivers: Taking precious time from your busy schedule to read this book is worthwhile because YOU, caregiver are worthwhile.
Jacqueline, thanks for writing this awesome book, much love,
Laura
If you are a caregiver this book could SAVE YOUR LIFE! Helpful and Entertaining: Wonderful book for caregivers
Once I found time to read this wonderful book, couldn't put it down. Not only is it informative, it is well written and entertaining.
I've been a full time caregiver since 2000 + prior pt (assisted father with care of Mother since 1994 until his death in1999) . I am currently caring for Mother who survived 2 strokes (Max assist transfers) and also has multiple physical and psychological challenges.
I wish I had this book years ago as I know my marriage and every aspect of my personal life and health would not have suffered as severely. Like most caregivers, I had no idea who to handle the situation in the beginning and didn't expect for Mother's condition to worsen and require so much sacrifice from my husband and I.
I love that Jacqueline writes with many lyrical and theoretical examples , I do the same (lyrically anyway), especially when recalling especially happy and sad events as that as how I think and that is how I've coped with difficult emotions most of my life. It is as though you are right there with her when the events took place. So much more supportive for caregivers than a dry manual with no real life examples.
I'm now in the midst of preparing paperwork for respite and adult daycare, neither of which I knew existed before reading this book.
Caregivers: Taking precious time from your busy schedule to read this book is worthwhile because YOU, caregiver are worthwhile.
Jacqueline, thanks for writing this awesome book, much love,
Laura
July 4, 2018
I was looking forward to how this book might offer assistance concerning my own struggles with elder care but unfortunately it's terribly written. I don't know if the author needed a ghost, or had one that was no good, or needed an editor, or had one that was no good, or what.
Not only do I have to cope with my own elder care issues--and the ones related in this book--I have to put up with the narrative running on like that person we all know who will just NOT STOP TALKING. (You know the type, you can finish a cup of coffee and a cigarette and the other person doesn't even notice, hasn't even paused for breath yet.)
The woman has to tell us EVERYTHING including how to clean someone's bottom, she drops pop-culture references like she's trying to win a prize for how much TV/movie gossip she can repeat, and throws in off-topic asides like "the horrifying mugging by four coked-up gang members with knives at my throat, ready to kill me for thirty-six dollars" in the middle of a pages-long complaint about her lower back pain (and not another word about the mugging).
So I'm just skimming, picking out the passages that actually address the topic of "elder rage" that was promised in the title. When I'm through I'll discuss what may have been worth picking out of all this book-length word salad.
Not only do I have to cope with my own elder care issues--and the ones related in this book--I have to put up with the narrative running on like that person we all know who will just NOT STOP TALKING. (You know the type, you can finish a cup of coffee and a cigarette and the other person doesn't even notice, hasn't even paused for breath yet.)
The woman has to tell us EVERYTHING including how to clean someone's bottom, she drops pop-culture references like she's trying to win a prize for how much TV/movie gossip she can repeat, and throws in off-topic asides like "the horrifying mugging by four coked-up gang members with knives at my throat, ready to kill me for thirty-six dollars" in the middle of a pages-long complaint about her lower back pain (and not another word about the mugging).
So I'm just skimming, picking out the passages that actually address the topic of "elder rage" that was promised in the title. When I'm through I'll discuss what may have been worth picking out of all this book-length word salad.
June 20, 2017
Sometimes on American Idol, Simon would chide a singer for a performance that he deemed 'self-indulgent.' I always wondered what he meant by that. Now I think I know.
I was quite excited to read about this book, and was even more excited to find it was available at the library. To say it didn't meet my expectations is an understatement - to me, the narrative is like a nightmare of someone dancing frantically and saying, "Look at me! Look at me!" (Note to self: this is why the author needs to disappear to the reader!) The author herself was so distracting from the subject, I just couldn't get past page 32.
However, the Behavior Modification Guidelines at the end of the book could be quite helpful, although I just don't think I'd be able to bring myself to use shame as a technique. There are other resources at the end that could also be valuable to families, caretakers and medical providers.
I was quite excited to read about this book, and was even more excited to find it was available at the library. To say it didn't meet my expectations is an understatement - to me, the narrative is like a nightmare of someone dancing frantically and saying, "Look at me! Look at me!" (Note to self: this is why the author needs to disappear to the reader!) The author herself was so distracting from the subject, I just couldn't get past page 32.
However, the Behavior Modification Guidelines at the end of the book could be quite helpful, although I just don't think I'd be able to bring myself to use shame as a technique. There are other resources at the end that could also be valuable to families, caretakers and medical providers.
October 19, 2014
Announcement: I also recorded ‘Elder Rage’, available at Amazon and Audible Books. I am honored it is a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 50+ endorsements (ElderRage.com/Review.asp), 500+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, required reading at numerous universities, and considered for a film.
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', International Speaker Eldercare/Alzheimer's
Merged review:
Announcement: I recently recorded ‘Elder Rage’ and it is now available exclusively at Amazon and Audible Books. I am honored it is a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 50+ endorsements (ElderRage.com/Review.asp), 500+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, required reading at numerous universities, and considered for a film.
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', Host 'Coping with Caregiving' Radio Show, International Speaker on Eldercare/Alzheimer's
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', International Speaker Eldercare/Alzheimer's
Merged review:
Announcement: I recently recorded ‘Elder Rage’ and it is now available exclusively at Amazon and Audible Books. I am honored it is a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 50+ endorsements (ElderRage.com/Review.asp), 500+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, required reading at numerous universities, and considered for a film.
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', Host 'Coping with Caregiving' Radio Show, International Speaker on Eldercare/Alzheimer's
May 16, 2013
I had only intended to skim this book after I heard an interview with the author on the radio - I'm nowhere near the stages (I hope) of dealing with this situation myself for hopefully a good long time, but the day my hold came in to the library I happened to be an hour early for an appointment and sat down to read it and found myself sitting in a corner weeping while glued to the pages.
Her writing style is peppered with annoying movie-references, but if you can get past that or better yet just skip over those bits, there's a ton of real raw stuff there. What I found most thought-provoking was the stuff where she describes her own growth and fears and anxieties - stuff we often don't care to admit - which are cropping up in the midst of dealing with suddenly finding someone who was independent needing constant care.
A good read, though not a comfortable one.
Her writing style is peppered with annoying movie-references, but if you can get past that or better yet just skip over those bits, there's a ton of real raw stuff there. What I found most thought-provoking was the stuff where she describes her own growth and fears and anxieties - stuff we often don't care to admit - which are cropping up in the midst of dealing with suddenly finding someone who was independent needing constant care.
A good read, though not a comfortable one.
October 12, 2015
In the entertainment industry, author Jackie Marcell finds herself out of work and caring for both of her aging parents. Written as a long personal account, yet humorously, she tells her struggles and gives tips from her own trial and error care for anyone who is also caring for their elderly parents.
Although I found many of the television names and references to be 'before my time', I appreciated her ability to laugh through the long day in-day out journey. In particular her care for her father, who has a type of dementia that causes him to rage violently.
For anyone else who has a parent struggling with Alzheimer's, Dementia or Aggressiveness in Dementia there is a great resource at the end by a physician who specializes in this type of treatment. This part was the most practical and helpful part of the book.
Although I found many of the television names and references to be 'before my time', I appreciated her ability to laugh through the long day in-day out journey. In particular her care for her father, who has a type of dementia that causes him to rage violently.
For anyone else who has a parent struggling with Alzheimer's, Dementia or Aggressiveness in Dementia there is a great resource at the end by a physician who specializes in this type of treatment. This part was the most practical and helpful part of the book.
January 24, 2014
I just wish I had read this book three years ago. Sure the pop culture references were distracting, but the story was REAL and resonated with my own experience. The Physician's Guide, Behavior Modification, Resource list and Recommended Reading list are invaluable. I admire Jackie's honesty and candor and I understand the power of humor in dealing with these types of horrific circumstances. I don't think anyone can judge caregivers who are are navigating the rescue and care of parents with dementia, particularly if they have not experienced it themselves, and especially when the parent exhibits behaviors that are violent or psychotic. We are all doing the best we can.
October 19, 2014
Announcement: I recently recorded ‘Elder Rage’ and it is now available exclusively at Amazon and Audible Books. I am honored it is a Book-of-the-Month Club selection receiving 50+ endorsements (ElderRage.com/Review.asp), 500+ 5-Star Amazon reviews, required reading at numerous universities, and considered for a film.
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', Host 'Coping with Caregiving' Radio Show, International Speaker on Eldercare/Alzheimer's
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author/Publisher, 'Elder Rage', Host 'Coping with Caregiving' Radio Show, International Speaker on Eldercare/Alzheimer's
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