3.5 stars, though due to the nature of the book being a collection of essays by 22 different authors, the whole thing is of varying quality throughout. I admit, after reading a few of the rough ones near the beginning, I was almost ready to write the thing off entirely because some of these are just plain wrong, even if some are opinions and technically can't "be wrong" in that respect, somehow they are, drastically missing the point of the show on one end as it not just flies over their heads but is launched with a missile launcher, or just rehashing what's already obvious about it on the other end, while also often being littered with forced attempts at humour that ranged from mildly cringey to literally painful to just downright offensive. I thought it was basically setting me up to make a list of "authors I'll definitely never read," but then we finally hit a gem or two for a moment of brief respite that convinced me to keep going. So, in the spirit of being fair, after the first few, I took review notes on each of the essays individually.
Foreword by Drew Goddard.
Has some forced quirkiness and jokes that didn't age well, and a voice that I think misunderstands its primary audience... and the show's primary draw, but it's technically not one of the essays up for trial here so...
Buffy vs. The Old-Fashioned Hero by David Brin
Tolerable, but nothing special, a basic look at Buffy compared to other major heroes, some questionable wording, but alright and short. 3/5
Is That Your Final Answer...? by Roxanne Longstreet Conrad
Longstreet's "quirky" essay format being written from the point of view of a demon taking a final exam became rather tedious after a while and doesn't exactly age well. Though it has some okay points, I disagree with its main thesis in how it follows the tradition of taking the spotlight away from our heroine or the fact it's a team effort and puts all the credit on the Everyman again, sigh. And I may be a buzzkill, but I just found the gimmickyness in which it was written annoying and out of character to the show in a way that was trying way too hard to emulate it by becoming painful exaggerated parody of it. 2 or 2.5/5
Sex and the Single Slayer by Nancy Kilpatrick
This one was just straight up creepy in how it referred to and discussed the teenage characters of the show. You're not funny or smart, Nancy Kilpatrick, you're not. It's honestly messed up how hers is worded when Buffy is 16, even if the show itself is heavily focused on sex, the way Kilpatrick approaches the topic is distasteful and disrespectful, using that forced tedious humour and repetitive phrasing in a way that doesn't work at all, peppering in offensive terms, and glossing over all other facets of the show in favour of instead making a few horny "jokes" and begging Buffy to have sex sooner. 1/5
The Search for Spike's Balls by Sherrilyn Kenyon.
This one, god, this one, I want to revoke Sherrilyn Kenyon's rights from talking about Buffy ever again, this is the favourite author of someone I don't particularly like and I can see where she gets it from now. Much like Kilpatrick's before it and a few that follow, this one was chock full with an obsession with surface level "girl power" that somehow bordered on both misandry and misogyny at the same time, erasing all the real heart of Buffy as a character and going further to prove my belief that no one who compares their heroines to Buffy actually understands what made Buffy work. It's angering, empty and devoid of real substance, none more so than this one. Sherrilyn Kenyon, shut the f-ck up, shut the f-ck up. Oh my God, queen of missing the f-cking point here. Her essay is the one where I was seriously considering ripping out pages because how can one look at season 2 of Buffy and come to these conclusions and observations, I wanted to punch her. Buffy is a teenager and S2, when she sleeps with Angel and he loses his soul is a f-cking obvious, very clear and well acknowledged metaphor, Miss Kenyon, you f-cking asshole, the episode is literally titled Innocence, symbolizing in a way a loss of Innocence as Buffy grows up and is forced to face a world where the guy she thought she loved turns into something else, and she's not "whiney" for reacting to this seriously or with less humour, what the actual f-ck. And Buffy doesn't "suck the masculinity" out of guys, nor do they become her punching bag after knowing her, what kind of piss poor take is that, to see a show about growing up, to see how Buffy's kindness and strength and view of the world makes them want to do better, be better, be like her or change what couldn't change before and think that's a sign of being weak? The wording of this entire essay is maddening in ways you wouldn't believe and again attempts for it to be funny fall more into cringe territory than ever. It physically hurt me to read it. Grossly cynical and out of touch with the true strength of Buffy as a character. 1/5 but if we're being petty, -1000/5.
A Slayer Comes to Town by Scott Westerfield
This one was alright as it was one of the first ones in the whole book with something at least marginally interesting to say/observe about the show on a technical level and how it compares and contrasts to other shows of its kind. His observations are sound and his callback to Oz's reaction to learning about vampires apt to his point. He also gives a mention to The Prom Class Protector Award, my favourite scene, so you know, I'm biased. Decent, nothing special though. 3/5
Skin Pale as Apple Blossom by Peg Aloi
The wording Aloi uses to describe the female characters is... bad, it's just bad, somehow praising them while also sounding bizarrely sexist and uncomfortable, especially the way she talks about how these actresses look, even if it's just so she can compare Tara, it leaves a bad taste. While after this rough start, the analysis of the costume design and color theory has some merit, it's short and still tainted by this odd "sexualization humour." Though I cede some points for the latter half as it touches on different parts of Tara's impact in s6 in a semi poetic way, the overall style again feels forced in a way that makes me cringe. 2/5
Lions, Gazelles and Buffy by Chelsea Quinn Yarbo
I actually found Chelsea Quinn Yarbo's take fascinating as it again actually delves into a different look at how Buffy works and how the character works on a more fundamental level. It makes some good points and references to back it up too without resorting to gimmick, the best of the essays so far mentioned. 4 or 4.5/5
The Good, The Bad, and the Ambivalent by Laura Resnick
Laura Resnick keeps a passionate but professional tone to her essay and she covers some good points which can apply not just to Buffy but to any good shows with complex characters, while it didn't blow me away, some of her wording definitely stood out to me as particularly well articulated and universal. 4/5
For the Love of Riley by Michelle Sagara West
Michelle Sagara West's essay, now, I think she gets it, the way she refers to the metaphor and the intensity of high school and teenage emotion in her discussion of Buffy's romances, and how Riley fits in or rather didn't fit into that, the way she understands what his character was meant to represent and her great respect for him with acknowledgment of why it didn't work anyway presented in a way you'd be hard pressed to find from most anyone else due to their bias, I respect that so much, and I respect her looks at different angles of people's perspectives of what did happen and what could have happened. 4.5 or 5/5
A Buffy Confession by Justine Larbalestier
This one had an interesting start, some lines I agreed with her, her defense of s4 hit the right points, though I wholly disagree with her assessment of Angel being tedious and the worst partner and Riley being most interesting when doing the whole vampire sex thing. Nor do I agree with some of her assessments of "bad" early episodes. This essay is heavily opinionated ymmv fare that flip flops left and right. Her beginning stance contradicts a lot of what she says later without giving good reason, or any reason, and reason is key. So is balance and the ability to enjoy things while also being able to criticize them when need be, which Larbalestier seems to struggle with, opting for rose tinted love or boiling hate with no in between. I do agree with the rewatch assessment of Ted, but again many of her personal opinions are just that, personal with no nuance, and even then they go against each other. The Zeppo as best of s3? Who? What? And I really don't like her needlessly rude snip at Dawn in the Gift either, or her absolute vitriol for old camp episodes or the like, which again contradicts herself to the point of annoyance. Her assessment of Help alone, my eye is twitching with how truly utterly hateful it is because her initial statements show desire for balanced critique, but the more she writes, the more it feels almost spiteful, even if on occasion warranted, it's presented incredibly poorly before yet again going back to the initial stance on balance between love and hate in such a whiplash way, never putting into practice what she preached. And then the whiplash again in her appall for season 7! Which again, while not unwarranted in criticism is certainly unwarranted in such intensely hollow and strong fiery hate from someone who couldn't agree with even herself the whole essay. And to top it all off, she ended with a truly horrendous opinion of wanting Buffy to have ended on the episode Normal Again, and may I just say, F-CK that. This had such a horribly cynical and sour ending to an equally horribly Pollyanna beginning, unable to ever achieve the balance she criticized herself. It was needlessly petty and only showed her inability to consume or look at media critically in a normal way. 1/5
Dating Death by Jennifer Crusie
Gordon Ramsay "Finally some good f-cking food".jpeg, finally some good f-cking analysis of the romantic and sexual aspects of the series without making it creepy or falling prey to bias. This whole essay was incredibly well said with deeper looks and equal weight put into all of Buffy's romantic relationships and the metaphors surrounding them. 5/5, possibly the best essay in the book.
The Meaning of Buffy by Marguerite Krause
I had no particular qualms with this one, I just didn't find it had anything particularly new to say and it was too quick to discount other interpretations or non romantic relationships, with a very black and white bias toward their thesis that ignored certain events of the show. 3/5
When Did the Scoobies Become Insiders by Sarah Zettel
A few interesting points of note, but overall a downer that leaves a bitter taste. 2/5
A Reflection on Ugliness by Charlaine Harris
Having read some of Harris' work, her criticisms, while some initial ones being valid enough, are also extremely hypocritical given how she writes her own characters. And is she really complaining the demons look like demons? I'm sure after this, she became a big fan of Twilight *rolls eyes*. Not only that, but she's looking too deeply into and making a mountain out of a molehill of something that has a simple answer. 1. The monsters look like monsters because this is a monster show, that's more interesting visually for TV, especially camp supernatural TV but also 2. Network execs don't want these kids going around killing what looks like normal people because it would be disconcerting for ratings in blurring the moral lines of the protagonists. But also on that note, that's the point, and Charlaine Harris conveniently glosses over how this evolves through the seasons on purpose to push her thesis even when the show directly contradicts it. Did she happen to skip the episode Lie to Me in its entirety? Or did she again like the other bad essays in this book miss the whole clear point of the show and how it does seem to start in that very black and white worldview, (bad guys always in pointy hats, good guys always stalwart and true, you know the drill), but as Buffy grows up, those lines between good and evil become more blurred, and it's not as clear cut as monstrous looking monster/vampire vs slayer anymore. Again, I point to Lie to Me, I point to Faith, I point to Glory, I point to the trio and Willow and etc. Harris' critiques completely ignore the fact that she's cherry picking information. Also, side note, I don't think Warren being flayed alive is a good example to her argument of evil being ugly, what the actual f-ck. Did she forget who did the flaying? Her points could have had valid critique, there's the possibility for an actual argument in there, especially in terms of the lack of diversity, but the examples she uses to back herself up are silly and hollow. If she wants normal humans or sexy f-ckable villains so much, go watch something else. Her essay is shallow. 1/5
Power of Becoming by Jacqueline Lichtenberg
I like when they take such a scholarly approach to Buffy like it deserves, going through the stages of analysis, comparing it to other shows of the time and how it took pieces from those while also starting something wholly new. This essay really looks into the gears of the machine, and I think Lichtenberg has a good take on the heart of what makes the show work and what really makes it more complex. Her comments on what makes great literature can also be applied universally and makes me think of what made this other show I watch work so well/have the same effect as Buffy did on me as well. 4 or 4.5/5
Unseen Horrors and Shadowy Manipulations by Kevin Andrew Murphy
I'm mostly fascinated he mentioned the Loa and the big talking hamburger from Angel, almost thought that was a fever dream. This essay was alright, a straightforward/informative piece on censorship with a couple interesting facts or examples of what they faced, not too exciting. 3/5
Innocence by Carla Montgomery
Finally, someone else acknowledging the canonical use of metaphor in all the storylines. Montgomery shows good understanding of the real mission statement of the show and also approaches the topic of sex in the show with seriousness and respect as it deserves. 4 or4.5/5.
Where's the Religion in Willow's Wicca by Christie Golden
Simple, straightforward, informative and to the point. This essay has a narrow focus on a singularly Willow-centric topic, which makes it tight, but not particularly wowing. 3/5
Love Saves the World by Jean Lorrah
I think this essay had a good thesis about the power of love in Buffy but I disagree with some of the observations and analogies. 2/5
A World Without Shrimp by Margaret L. Carter
Despite its title harking back to one of my favourite random running gag lines, this essay just felt like a bunch of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff with quite a few notes of repetition that could have been tightened up. 2/5
Matchmaking on the Hellmouth by Lawrence Watt-Evans
I respect the respect for Clem, but as for the conclusion, they were very right that I wouldn't guess it because no, nuh uh, it's ridiculous. A bad argument with little support that gives us a crack pair up and then ends abruptly without further elaboration. 2/5
Slayers of the Last Arc by Nancy Holder
This one was a back to basics, no frills approach to storytelling structure with a stable sense of reverence and adoration. 3/5
And thus concludes my way too long review.