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Advance Your Swagger: How to Use Manners, Confidence, and Style to Get Ahead
“My manners were the first ingredient that set me apart from my peers,” notes the suave and stylish Fonzworth Bentley, Sean “Diddy” Combs’s former personal assistant and a celebrity in his own right. Now, in this one-of-a-kind book, Bentley shares his surefire strategies for success.
Just how does a guy move from Atlanta to New York City without knowing a soul in the entertainment industry and become, in less than two years, the P.A. to one of the biggest moguls in hip-hop history? Bentley attributes his accomplishment to one key Manners + Confidence + Style = Swagger. With this formula, Bentley transformed himself into an icon of unflappable grace, elegance, and good manners–and now he’s on a mission to help you step up your game, advance your swagger, get ahead, and live out your dreams.
Inside you’ll learn everything you need to know about
• manners and the magic of Please and Thank You
• the art of eating well, from which glass to use to handling the napkin
• the basics of fine dining, whether you’re a host or a guest
• the do’s and “oh no you di’int’s” of cell phones, e-mail, and text messaging
• projecting confidence through your body language
• the power of introductions, even when you can’t remember someone’s name
• what to do before, during, and after a job interview
• body maintenance, from hair to toes to pearly whites
• the principles of timeless fashion, so you never go out of style
• 15 things every man and 15 things every woman must have in his or her closet
Plus “Bent Hints”–little things to keep in mind for any occasion
Though we seem to be in the midst of what Bentley calls “the Golden Age of Disrespect,” he demonstrates how we can add a touch of class and dignity to our lives. He’s here to make sure your color schemes are fly and your stance is stage-ready.
Filled with photographs to illustrate his lessons, Advance Your Swagger is the lifestyle book of the year. He’s taken care of his world–now let Mr. Bentley whip yours into style.
Just how does a guy move from Atlanta to New York City without knowing a soul in the entertainment industry and become, in less than two years, the P.A. to one of the biggest moguls in hip-hop history? Bentley attributes his accomplishment to one key Manners + Confidence + Style = Swagger. With this formula, Bentley transformed himself into an icon of unflappable grace, elegance, and good manners–and now he’s on a mission to help you step up your game, advance your swagger, get ahead, and live out your dreams.
Inside you’ll learn everything you need to know about
• manners and the magic of Please and Thank You
• the art of eating well, from which glass to use to handling the napkin
• the basics of fine dining, whether you’re a host or a guest
• the do’s and “oh no you di’int’s” of cell phones, e-mail, and text messaging
• projecting confidence through your body language
• the power of introductions, even when you can’t remember someone’s name
• what to do before, during, and after a job interview
• body maintenance, from hair to toes to pearly whites
• the principles of timeless fashion, so you never go out of style
• 15 things every man and 15 things every woman must have in his or her closet
Plus “Bent Hints”–little things to keep in mind for any occasion
Though we seem to be in the midst of what Bentley calls “the Golden Age of Disrespect,” he demonstrates how we can add a touch of class and dignity to our lives. He’s here to make sure your color schemes are fly and your stance is stage-ready.
Filled with photographs to illustrate his lessons, Advance Your Swagger is the lifestyle book of the year. He’s taken care of his world–now let Mr. Bentley whip yours into style.
112 pages, Hardcover
First published September 25, 2007
4 people are currently reading
90 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 12, 2009
"If you got twelve people hating on you, figure out how to make it fourteen. You must be doing something right." - Katt Williams
Are people really this crude? This book isn't even "Manners 101", it's more like "Manners for Dummies".
That's not to say that I didn't learn anything from this book, but seriously 90% of the book was, what I thought, common sense.
On "Manners": Look people in the eye as much as possible (or give the impression that you are). Use "Thank You" and ask yourself when was the last time you uttered the word "Please".
On "Confidence": This section was extremely light and dull. Maybe only because I've read some pretty in-depth books on body language. The "Making Introductions" section was nice (basically, introduce in this order: oldest -> more important -> female -> male). The whole section, summarized, it would look like, "Own that ponytail. Work that up do!"
On "Style": This is probably *the* book right - if this had just been the book, it might have been 2.5 stars. Helpful advice, but probably could have been a short blog entry as opposed to 50 pages in a book.
And, uhh, there you have it. Manners + Confidence + Style == Swagger.
Improve your SQ (swagger quotient) and then, umm, move along, Lil Chillens. //
Are people really this crude? This book isn't even "Manners 101", it's more like "Manners for Dummies".
That's not to say that I didn't learn anything from this book, but seriously 90% of the book was, what I thought, common sense.
On "Manners": Look people in the eye as much as possible (or give the impression that you are). Use "Thank You" and ask yourself when was the last time you uttered the word "Please".
On "Confidence": This section was extremely light and dull. Maybe only because I've read some pretty in-depth books on body language. The "Making Introductions" section was nice (basically, introduce in this order: oldest -> more important -> female -> male). The whole section, summarized, it would look like, "Own that ponytail. Work that up do!"
On "Style": This is probably *the* book right - if this had just been the book, it might have been 2.5 stars. Helpful advice, but probably could have been a short blog entry as opposed to 50 pages in a book.
And, uhh, there you have it. Manners + Confidence + Style == Swagger.
Improve your SQ (swagger quotient) and then, umm, move along, Lil Chillens. //
February 24, 2018
loved it a great read for young adults ant teens, a refresher for us all
May 10, 2019
While much of this was not new to me, a LOT of people could benefit from it, especially the manners portion. It was quick and to the point, which I also appreciated.
August 19, 2024
A dated book on classic practices. A quick, one-day read.
Read
July 21, 2025haven't read this since I was a kid but I do remember bentley holding up bill cosby and p diddy as exemplary role models which is, among other things, very funny
March 6, 2008
i am a soft touch when it comes to manners/etiquette books (i think there should be a great deal more of them and that modern society would benefit greatly from their publication)
I always find myself reaching for them when i see it is a male author
as this is a rare find.
the most common modern manners/etiquette pamphlets are the men's health magazine columns expanded into book form. These are assembled by editors and full of bold typefaces, stark photos and gently ribald humor. Tips on how to tie a neck tie, doing Kegel exercises and tightening up one's abdominal muscles abound.
An even more intriguing subset in this field is the "authored by the neo-dandy"
the fastidiousness and attention to appearance that the neo-dandy maintains is impressive to me. The jokes are usually more subtle, the manner more gentle in talking to the reader and the insights deeper/beter. It is more enlightening to hear from the kid who didn't fit in his formative years and eventually found a niche for himself than the fratboy who cleaned up.
the one i read previous to this was a slim illustrated work by Carson "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" Kressley - great stuff
I am even more sucked in when they are written by neo dandies of melanin abundance such as Fonzworth Bentley
(he is well known as the dude who held Sean P.Diddy Comb's umbrella and made multiple rap video cameos for a brief period in the early 2000's)
Mr. Bentley is targeting the unschooled in the social graces nouveau riche hip hop crowd
and simultaneously writing a motivational book by telling his rise from impeccably dressed maitre d to personal assistant to a mega star to model/businessman
This book draws heavily on the church/Traditional Southern background of it's author and so is heavy on the manners section.
Lots of common sense stuff - Look folks straight in the eye, always say hello in passing, send hand written thank you notes directly after a job interview, tip your waitstaff well, check your breath, order the least expensive entree when someone's guest etc.
I like the homage he pays to his relatives and the attention that is paid to common decency
three cheers for a useful pop book
I always find myself reaching for them when i see it is a male author
as this is a rare find.
the most common modern manners/etiquette pamphlets are the men's health magazine columns expanded into book form. These are assembled by editors and full of bold typefaces, stark photos and gently ribald humor. Tips on how to tie a neck tie, doing Kegel exercises and tightening up one's abdominal muscles abound.
An even more intriguing subset in this field is the "authored by the neo-dandy"
the fastidiousness and attention to appearance that the neo-dandy maintains is impressive to me. The jokes are usually more subtle, the manner more gentle in talking to the reader and the insights deeper/beter. It is more enlightening to hear from the kid who didn't fit in his formative years and eventually found a niche for himself than the fratboy who cleaned up.
the one i read previous to this was a slim illustrated work by Carson "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" Kressley - great stuff
I am even more sucked in when they are written by neo dandies of melanin abundance such as Fonzworth Bentley
(he is well known as the dude who held Sean P.Diddy Comb's umbrella and made multiple rap video cameos for a brief period in the early 2000's)
Mr. Bentley is targeting the unschooled in the social graces nouveau riche hip hop crowd
and simultaneously writing a motivational book by telling his rise from impeccably dressed maitre d to personal assistant to a mega star to model/businessman
This book draws heavily on the church/Traditional Southern background of it's author and so is heavy on the manners section.
Lots of common sense stuff - Look folks straight in the eye, always say hello in passing, send hand written thank you notes directly after a job interview, tip your waitstaff well, check your breath, order the least expensive entree when someone's guest etc.
I like the homage he pays to his relatives and the attention that is paid to common decency
three cheers for a useful pop book
November 30, 2012
Yes, this is a slim volume full of illustrations and things that might seem to be common sense, such as "don't chew with your mouth open." But have a look around - seems like many people have forgotten common sense, or never knew it to begin with. I see people not only chewing with their mouth open but eating buckets of greasy fried chicken on the subway and tossing the bones and dirty napkins on the floor. People blather on their cell phones in inappropriate places like four-star restaurants, hospital emergency rooms, and movie theatres. Everyone is confused about who picks up the check and some women think it's always the man's responsibility (tip from Fonzworth: whoever does the asking-out-to-dinner should be prepared to pay the check. It's okay for old-fashioned guys to want to pay for their girl but even old-fashioned guys love to be treated sometimes).
If you have even a modicum of manners and etiquette, you might not get much from this book. But if you are a tween or teenager on the cusp of manhood (it is really intended for men, although there is a lot of useful information for women as well), this book might prove quite useful. And if you are an adult who has come to believe that things like hostess gifts, RSVPs, and thank-you cards don't matter, that sweatpants are appropriate attire for any occassion, that you can talk on your cell phone wherever you damn please, or that it's fine to bring a posse of friends when you are invited to a dinner party, then this book can really help straighten you out.
If you have even a modicum of manners and etiquette, you might not get much from this book. But if you are a tween or teenager on the cusp of manhood (it is really intended for men, although there is a lot of useful information for women as well), this book might prove quite useful. And if you are an adult who has come to believe that things like hostess gifts, RSVPs, and thank-you cards don't matter, that sweatpants are appropriate attire for any occassion, that you can talk on your cell phone wherever you damn please, or that it's fine to bring a posse of friends when you are invited to a dinner party, then this book can really help straighten you out.
April 15, 2010
I demand that Mr. Bentley write another (and longer) book. This one was way too entertaining, full of photos, informative, descriptive, and conversational. I couldn't have been more disappointed that I finished reading it in one good sitting. He covered how to tie a necktie, bowtie, how to eat at a dinner table, how to talk on your cell phone and when (I especially appreciated that chapter because I hate loud cell phone people), and tipping. I definitely felt that I learned something about manners from this book, most especially regarding how to figure out when and how to tip.
April 27, 2009
This book was utterly stupid. Perhaps if I knew nothing of basic manners I would have benefited from this book, but that is not the case. The name dropping was annoying, to say the least, and the book overall was poorly written. I read the book because I thought it pertained to getting ahead at work which it wasn't. I won't ever read this book again.
March 20, 2008
Just a quick, fun reminder about the finer points of style and etiquette. By no means a complete guide to making that transition from rough to royalty, Fonzworth gives you some things to think about and some fun photos to accent his finer points. Swagger on.
April 29, 2010
Bread on the left, drinks on the right, Introduce high-ranking people first. An easy read with easy to remember tips on must-know-manners. A definite recommendation to teens & tweens for a good etiquette foundation as they move up - doesn't hurt to review every now and then.
October 15, 2008
I read this book fairly quick and it makes you really think about some of the things that do very frequently.
February 6, 2010
Beginners guide to advancing your swagger, get it for your teenage nephew!
November 15, 2010
This isn't really anything I didn't know, but I'm adding it to my class. The advice is straight forward and practical for teenagers who don't always know the practical.
August 5, 2011
A very quick and informative read about manners and style for today's young adult. It is a primer for those who want to know how to avoid being ghetto in their relationships.
Currently reading
October 12, 2012i think this book is going to talk about how eat when you with people
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews