The 30-Day Love Detox: Cleanse Yourself of Bad Boys, Cheaters, and Men Who Won't Commit -- And Find A Real Relationship

by Wendy Walsh

From a dating doyenne of the Sex and the City generation comes this groundbreaking prescription for slow-love that blasts traditional dating books and their confusing messages: Be free but not too free. Play hard to get and go after what you want. Keep him close by not letting him know you want a commitment—messages that help women play a game that doesn’t always lead to a fulfilling, committed relationship. Dr. Wendy Walsh’s outside-the-box approach to relationships turns traditional thinking on its head by using evolutionary psychology to offer advice that is both empowering and practical. The 30 Day Love Detox is unlike any relationship book before because it helps women better understand themselves and their mating strategies. For the first time, general readers will gain access to clinical tests that help women identify their gender role type, their attachment style and their sexual strategies.

In The 30 Day Love Detox, Walsh offers a step-by-step, five-part attachment strategy, with a 30-day "detox" that helps weed out the bad boys and set women up to meet the right guy, including: How to purge junk-food men The five sexual myths that keep women single When to begin the onset of sexual activity in a new relationship The biggest mistakes women make when dating online—and how to avoid them How to spot a commitment-oriented man at his "state of readiness" Melding scientific research, anthropological truths, and proven techniques, The 30-Day Love Detox is a revolutionary road map to finding lasting love in a modern world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Psychology, Love

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 22, 2013

About the author

Dr. Wendy Walsh is America's thought leader on relationships. A Canadian-American psychotherapist, radio host, author and television commentator, she hosts The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show on KKIAM640.com in Los Angeles and appears regularly on CNN, HLN, and FOX News commenting on current events from a psychological perspective. Walsh is also an adjunct assistant professor of psychology at California State University, Channel Islands.

Reviews

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew this was going to be a good book when I paid full price for it.

I greatly, GREATLY enjoyed this book. Why? Because Dr. Walsh's writing is direct, thoughtful and amid somewhat uncomfortable statistics and processes, hopeful. It doesn't take a rocket scientist from NASA to see that we live in a hookup based society. Dr. Walsh's book is like a modernized "Getting to 'I Do" by Dr. Pat Allen. The premise is still there (as with all good relationship books) 1) Wait to have sex until a month or longer to develop a sound relationship with your significant other 2) Communicate your relationship goals and desires and 3)KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, in yourself and in your partner.

Another thing I enjoyed about this book are the references to other books! There's nothing like reading a book you love while writing down other book suggestions.

Through reading this book, I developed a clearer insight into myself (seriously, it never seems to stop!) regarding my relationship desires (monogamous, long term, children) and the quality of man I want as the father of my children. It's a great read and one of the best dating books I've recently read. Highly recommended.

[Mathilda Craft · Rating 2 out of 5]

I usually avoid dating books, in general, as there are so many out there that have bad advice in them and I avoid things like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" types of stereotypical gendered behavior, as gender is a rather fluid thing and not the same as sex, but I have to admit, that overall, I actually liked this book. I liked the concept of it anyways. Only, I wouldn't call it "addicted to dating", but rather "addicted to sex."

Also, before I say anything else on this book, I have a few qualms with it, so before I decide on giving this a full assessed review, I'm going to check on some of her references first, because some of the stuff she cited in her book made me a bit mad, not because she didn't have any good sources or anything, but because I didn't like how some of them were worded. She didn't, in more than a few cases, be specific enough in what she meant. Say for example in chapter 9, on page 208 when she talked about the Mark Regnerus's research about attitudes of men and whether they would give up porn or a real close relationship, she said many couldn't decide between the two. The way she worded it sounded like it was a very large number of men, but she never said what that number was, and that really bothered me. Am I just to assume it's 80, 90, or 100%? It's left a bit vague. I know she doesn't intend it that way, but I like to work with concrete numbers... not guesses and it seemed to paint over things a little more loosely than I would have done. Not to say that porn bothers me (most does not), but I just wanted a clearer picture of what she meant.

Granted, I know this book is made for the masses and I'm guessing more academic books are probably up my alley than this stuff is, but I can't always afford such novel items. At least for now.

But to conclude on that note, this book was obviously not written for bipolar people. She talked about a cleanse in that you should be able to stay away from sex. This is not realistic for bipolar people unless they are on the best medicine that basically makes them not want sex anymore. Which I have discovered. So I might come back to this maybe not. Depends on how things go now.


And the rule on this... still undecided.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of the book is misleading. The subtitle is a bit more appropriate. The book is about getting into relationships or hook-ups that are unsatisfying (ie no commitment) NOT about how to get over a breakup in 30 days. That being said, the advice is good and heavily backed up by research too. However, I don't agree that there's a time limit in order to find out whether a man is going to commit or not that is set in stone. I think, in many cases, it can take more than 30 days to really get to know someone.

This book reminds me of another book called "Not Tonight, Mr. Right" which was more aptly titled, however, I think it is now out of print. It also reminds me of the series of books by Wendy Shalit. I really like books that remind women to respect themselves and have boundaries in relationships. I think every woman needs that reminder from time to time. Because, sometimes, it's hard.

Wendy Walsh is a wonderful writer and a talented psychologist. I watch her on TV all the time and I greatly admire and look up to her. She's smart, talented and strong.

I think the people who would most benefit from this book are 20-something women who are looking for a committed relationship and may be influenced to commit before she is ready because of societal pressures and the media.

One section I LOVED in this book that I haven't seen in other relationship books is a chapter on technology (ex: online dating, texting). Bravo for including this! It's definitely a topic that needs to be discussed in todays high-tech dating world.

[Margo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Take out the trash, no seriously, take it out, and then take it out again (this trash meaning the old you). You read the hideously long title and you think, you are never going to read something so blatantly obvious and blaring that someone on the bus near you would laugh. I say this because, well I was that person. I read this book in a coffee shop and a woman came up to me, stared at what I was reading, laughed a little and seriously asked if I was okay. Detox as it suggests to me means ridding yourself of all the crap kind of how you would for your body, but this is for your mind and for your personal relationships. Walsh isn’t kidding here. She gives you a step by step guide into getting back to yourself and helps you see you again. Sure you hate this, sure you curse it, sure it is ridiculous, but is it so ridiculous that maybe just maybe, it just might be so right? This is about settting yourself up to meet Mr. Right. You are preparing yourself for someone you want in your life, so you have to work on you first. Shocker. Her knowledge is going to blow your mind and make you sit up and listen. She is sending a message for women in today’s world and she isn’t holding back. I needed a sucker punch, and I needed some advice. This book was it. Maybe that old lady, might like to read it ;).

[Linny · Rating 5 out of 5]

50% of women will hate this. 50% will love it, and be validated by everything in it. I was the latter. Science backed information. I don't see how you can dispute it, other than general disagreements with the traditional style it promotes. I would highly recommend. If you're part of group 1 who is repulsed by this book, I'd suggest trying to come with an open mind. I recommend.

[Viviana · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has some interesting sociological and historical facts on love which makes it an interesting read. I'm not particularly fond of love advice...

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

She nails everything wrong with our generations' views on relationships. Complimented by research and her own experiences, she knows what she's saying.

[Ronald Reagan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Men, don't go for single mothers. It's the worst deal ever.
Amazingly, Wendy Walsh did not pay the toll for the coal she burned.

[javadiva · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm impressed with the empowering message Wendy Walsh has for women.

[Angie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not sure but maybe this was written for women in their twenties? Seems like a basic idea these days not to jump into bed with men too quickly if you want to be taken seriously... The way this woman writes really frustrates me. She starts a paragraph or a chapter with a fascinating fact or clever insight... And then rattles off a bunch of boring statistics that you find yourself skipping over. Bleh. She's more a statistician than a psychologist and it made the book dry and boring for me.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Influential words spoken by a true strong independent woman, thank you Wendy Walsh your knowledge and words really spoke to me while I read this book. I am very touched by how you encourage women to be strong and hold on to what they believe in. By reading this I begun to see things in myself that were there that I either ignored or dismissed and by that, you give the readers to ways to help learn from mistakes. One of the most interesting parts that I thought in this book is where you learn how men fall in love, I will admit I was very interested and a lot of it made sense. I can’t say if this book will actually work unless you try it out, though it’s simple and particle it looks to be it must. I can’t express how thankful I am to have received this book especially for free; I would have easily paid just to read this. This book in all was very helpful I would recommend this to women in their twenties to early thirties. Thank you Wendy Walsh for a book all women should have, I enjoyed reading The 30-Day Love Detox: Cleanse Yourself of Bad Boys, Cheaters, and Men Who Won't Commit -- And Find A Real Relationship.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

While many of my best friends are starting to get engaged and married and I'm a single career-driven woman in Los Angeles, this book really put things into perspective for me. I've always felt I've only met the bad men, but I now have a clearer sense of how to point out who to stay away from and who won't emotionally hurt me at the end of the day. Between putting the advice in layman's terms and at the same time actually learning more about human behavior, every section made me either laugh or say to myself "oh my gosh -- that makes so much sense now!" MUST READ as soon as it comes out (I got an advanced copy)!!

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a pre-release copy of this book to read and give my honest opinion on. Whether you follow Wendy Walsh's tips or read this just for interest, this book will get you thinking. I particularly like that much of the social research Wendy conducted was with men. Who better to ask about what they think. The anthropological view of dating was fascinating and made sense. This book is a no-nonsense guide to dating in the 21st Century and a must read book for all dating females.

[NECaruso · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. I liked what focus there was on the data, but honestly I only picked it up in the first place because of the promise there'd be some data on the state of relationships today, which was thin in the book. Read if you (or a friend you care about) are interested in a game plan for finding a long term relationship without sacrificing your dignity to some PUA creep or if you just like a bit of sociology with your non-fiction.

[Mie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought it to recover from the wounded heart. Unfortunately, she focused on only guys who can not commit or cheaters but I expected to detox myself from general broken heart or something,,,but it's nice to know that it is always better not to jump to sex an keep it slow for long-term relationships.

[Lisa]

Do not let this fool you. I am still NOT interested in dating, so PLEASE. Keep the advances at bay! haha. But someday when I AM ready (maybe when Nadia is out of the house), this might come in handy for me. :)

[Jef · Rating 4 out of 5]

a great book for those looking to navigate the "dating" game even if you're a man looking to get to know some of the challenges that women face!

Dr Walsh has a beautiful vulnerability & humour in her writing which makes this book a decent read

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

The kind of book I'd like to give to all the young women I know. Contemporary and yet counter-cultural, down-to-earth and doesn't mince words, encourages all the right things and shows how to achieve them. I know several people who've read this book more than once, it's changed their lives.

[Ariesmoonlover · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knowing the inner cave woman and your own. Practical overview of the realities of dating, mating, and marriage.

[Disha]

She nails it!

[Chené · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good advice for a young single woman who is struggling with the attitudes of young men in this day and age.

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful and well parsed out information. Really enjoyed this read.

[Lucy Eudave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering message for all women. Makes dating much easier. Helps identify the kind of relationship you want, and how to look for men who fit your relationship.