After the Fire: A Memoir in Poetry and Prose – A Powerful Collection on Addiction, Marriage, and Courage

by J.A. Jance

New York Times bestselling author J. A. Jance's heartrending collection of poetry and essays recounts a dark chapter of her own life, her first marriage to an alcoholic—a powerful look at the emotional cost of addiction and an inspiring story of courage and triumph in the wake of crushing defeat

Before she found fame as a bestselling mystery author, Judith Jance wrestled with the anguish of being married to an alcoholic. For years she channeled her pain into words, composing the poems in this moving volume, first published in 1984, a year before her debut novel.

In searing and direct language, After the Fire chronicles the collapse of Jance's first marriage under the weight of her husband's addiction—and her own unwitting denial and codependence while she struggled to find herself. "I will not be the price of your redemption," she wrote then. "I will not pay my life to ransom yours."

An intimate, deeply personal look into a wrenching time in Jance's life, After the Fire is a portrait of addiction and its insidious effects on lives and love. It illuminates universal truths about unbearable loss and finding the courage to carry on, and offers inspiration and profound insight into the heart and work of a beloved bestselling author.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Mystery, Audiobook, Memoir, Biography, Biography Memoir

128 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Judith Ann Jance is the top 10 New York Times bestselling author of the Joanna Brady series; the J. P. Beaumont series; three interrelated thrillers featuring the Walker family; and Edge of Evil, the first in a series featuring Ali Reynolds. Born in South Dakota and brought up in Bisbee, Arizona, Jance lives with her husband in Seattle, Washington, and Tucson, Arizona.

Series:
* J.P. Beaumont
* Joanna Brady
* Ali Reynolds
* Walker Family

Reviews

[Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars for After The Fire (audiobook) by J. A. Jance read by the author.

This is some heartbreaking story told through poetry about being married to an alcoholic.

[Kathryn McClatchy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poetry has always been a struggle for me, but I thoroughly appreciated Ms. Jance's narratives. I have had friends suffer through similar marriages and divorces, and although I hurt for them, I never truly understood. Thanks to the vulnerable and open sharing of AFTER THE FIRE, I think I understand much more now. I'm also encouraged by the happiness and success that Ms. Jance has experienced in the second half of her life.

[Janice · Rating 3 out of 5]

This very short memoir includes poetry written by this author, as well as telling of her first marriage to a man who had a dangerous affair with alcohol. Ms. Jance was forbidden to write during those years, as her husband insisted he was going to be the only author in the family. But she did write poetry during this difficult time in her life, and flushes the poetry out with descriptions of what was going on at that time. I enjoyed this audio version.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read and enjoyed many of J.A. Jance's mysteries as a resident of Arizona and a mystery lover. It was enlightening to read through her essays and poems and learn more of her personal journey.

For the author, thank you for sharing the update version with the additional context. I am sure your experiences will help many others.

[Correen · Rating 3 out of 5]

She told her story through poetry and annotation. The poems get the job done. The story is rich but it is not past. I hope it helps others.

[Britt Fitts · Rating 3 out of 5]

J.A. Jance's "After the Fire" uses the art of words to illustrate how Jance went from a life of pain to a life of contentment. She had to make a lot of hard decisions and openly admits that she doesn't know if they were the right decisions or even if there were any right decision to be made. (I think a lot of us can relate to this, because saaaaaaame, girl, same.)
°°°°°°°°°°°°°
★★★☆☆
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"I have know the fire.
I'll live with nothing rather than with less.
The flame is out. There's nothing left but ash."
-J.A. Jance, after the fire, After the Fire

[Lenora Good · Rating 3 out of 5]

I must be honest, I did not care so much for the poetry, though it did come across as both heartfelt and honest. But I truly enjoyed the prose introductions to each poem. Those gave an interesting insight into this prolific writer's life.

If you are a fan of J. A. Jance, I think you will enjoy the insights this book gives us.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't like poetry in general. To me, most poetry comes off as thinking it is Better Than You, which I find annoying. However, I attended a book signing for JA Jance's latest mystery novel and she had these available as well. She told us that the poems were written when she was struggling with divorcing an alcoholic spouse--and I knew I needed to read them. I knew that this book would be healing to me. My former spouse is not an alcoholic, but he is/was utterly self absorbed--and as it turns out, gay-- and I suffered a similar spousal neglect. So I bought the book of poetry. And I let it sit around for about 10 days, kind of afraid to pick it up. Finally I did and I read the whole thing in one sitting.

The poetry is good (says one who has absolutely no right to assess poems) but it's the prose that makes this book well worth the read. This is the story of a woman discovering who she is and who she isn't, standing up for herself and ultimately making it through the darkness. I needed this book; I'm still in the darkness. It is beyond invaluable for me to see that lightness and happiness can exist if only I stick to my guns and just keep trudging forward.

And so I shall.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Powerfull Poems!! A lot of them hit close to home for me. I got married at 18, right out of High School. Took me 22 yrs to get the balls to leave him, he gave me many reasons...emotional abuse, affairs. Why do we stay?? The one and only thing I can give him brownie points for was his being an AWESOME father to our to children(son/30 & Daughter/28)

I am a changed woman with a husband who loves & adores me, we have been together 13 yrs..Feb. 14th! Married since 8-7-2003!

So to say the least a lot of the stories & poems touched my Heart & my Soul!

Friends in Reading! SteffieStar

[Marcy Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sincere appreciation

Behind the scenes, the real life of the author. Addiction, single parenting, death, grief, losses, and moving through life. Wow, I always loved her books and identified with the characters. Now I get the authors story, and how her journey has shaped her writing. I have been down a very similar path and was very moved by this book. Thank you for sharing your life and talent with us.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't often read poetry, but I read this book because I met the author about a year ago. I enjoyed the poems. They made me think quite a lot about the parallels between widowhood and divorce. As awful as it is to lose the person you love through death, it strikes me that divorce might be even worse. I especially liked her prose in "Daybreak" and her poem "Benediction." Jance's loss was through divorce, and mine was through death, but the reading revealed to me that our feelings were similar.

[Sandy Barnes]

I loved this book! I am somewhat a fan of the mysteries but this book was so lyrical, grounded and personal. Read it!

[Jreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this as an audio book--it's very quick. If you have had an alcoholic in your life and/or if you are late 60s or older and/or if you want to understand a female relative in this age bracket--this is a good book to listen to. It's short poetry essays--free verse.

Was like seeing my life on paper--only I did not get happier resolution with spouse #2 or partner #3. I was repeating a pattern of fitting my life into the partner's (as we were bred to do, examples of virtually all of the women in our lives). I have come into my own in the past 15 -20 years and some day my children will likely read the journals full of essays going back more than 50 years and realize... oh (even though a lot has been shared with them at age appropriate levels).

I especially identified with a passage where JA Jance had a Native friend who said at one point, "I thought it was because I was Indian" (back in the 70s). Here we are about 50+ years later and we still have women in the same place. It's not as bad for many, but in 3rd world countries it has even gotten worse--h0w could that be?

So... this is a book that should be required reading (outloud in the class) in highschool.

[Alyssa Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an unexpected pleasant read! I was looking for an audiobook yesterday and stumbled upon this and gave it a shot and it didn’t disappoint. I didn’t know much of anything about JA jance before reading this, mostly that she was a bestselling author but I hadn’t read any of her work. This is a memoir about ja jance living with her first alcoholic husband told through poetry. It was so interesting listening to her describe the poems and what was going on in her life and the meaning behind them. It really made it pack a punch. A lot of times with poetry, you can feel kinda lost because it’s such a personal kind of writing. But having the added narrative of the backstory and having her narrate it was just so GOOD. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a really solid memoir audiobook!

[Scott Whitney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had been reading this volume of poetry for a couple of days and enjoying the poetry, the commentary which gives the history behind each poem, and the over all intimate look at the life of one of my favorite authors when I had a poetry Thursday with my English classes at school. They really liked the poetry and the story which it told. I did not read the commentary to them, just the poetry which I had already read in the book. There were many comments about how easy the poetry was to understand and quite a few of the students were able to approach the poetry due to their life experiences. Many even took pictures of the cover of the book so they could find it for themselves.

[Peg Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a recent speech, JA Jance explains the story behind this book. Love the into before each poem talking about why it was written. I am a HUGE J.A. Jance fan! And I normally don't do poetry, but I really liked it.

Boy was I surprised when I started this book I was only going to read for a bit, I could not put it down! I originally bought it for someone my daughter works with and respects greatly, I felt compelled to buy it after hearing her speak! I hope it gives him hope and understanding. You think she's really telling you a story of her life but It's more a story of most of our lives.

[Mary Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was probably not the best choice of reading material during this difficult time, but I did find that these poems were quite relatable and compelling. I think the accompanying history is equally important to read, and it really brings meaning to the poems that I wouldn’t have been able to grasp, otherwise.
Interestingly, I have never read Jance’s work before, but I probably will read one of her mysteries. I appreciate her intense honesty, and the retrospective take on the actual poems themselves was really moving.
3 and a 1/2 out of 5 stars.

[Cheryl Licata · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm never really finished with a book of poetry. This book is a keeper and I will refer to it and reread favorite parts for a long time. I like that J.A Jance's memoir includes both a prose piece and explanation of where she was in her life and then a poem accompanies it. Her life story is sad, but her growth is obvious. I feel like I know the author and look forward to reading some of her novels. I highly recommend After the Fire.

[4S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a hard book to read while going though loss and change in my own life, but such an important one. I cried so much while reading, especially towards the middle, but the book ends on a warm positive of growth after grief which is so hopeful. I loved this book and am so glad the author chose to share her experiences because as she was aware, it touched me dearly as I'm sure it has for many others too.

[Lance · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like to get to know the authors at times. This was a group of poems and explanation of the poems based on hindsight and a life lived. Exposure to yourself is often harder than exposure to others. I loved the introspective nature of both the life experience and the resulting poems. I feel it gives one insight into the characters that Jance used in her books.

[EC · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve enjoyed Judy’s books since she started her J.P. Beaumont series in the 1980s. And I’ve heard her speak about her past and what inspired her writing several times. But this collection of poetry and her narrative provided much more insight into her as a person and writer. I read the read the 2006 version that I believe was updated from earlier versions.

[Emma Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not one for poetry but this spoke to me and tugged on my heart. I deeply appreciate the accompanying notes and explanations for each poem as I feel that is what contributed to my enjoyment and appreciation of the poetry. Jance has a beautiful writing style and I definitely want to read more of her writing.

[Jenna Jenkins]

idk the rating yet 🤔 all i do know is i listened to the audio book and she sounds just like the narrator for Caillou… anywayyy these poems were unique but it was mostly a memoir. maybe i didn’t feel as deeply connected as others bc idk this writer? but one thing can be said at the end of the day: f*ck men

[Dorothy Deusing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faith full reader

I Am very pleased to have a glimpse in your life. It shows in your books. I have read so many that it is sometimes hard to remember which i have read. Thank you for becoming such a great writer.

[In · Rating 4 out of 5]

the author went back after many decades to these poems and wrote about what was going on in her life when she'd written them. It really enjoyed the connection between her remembrances and the poems she wrote from the heart.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

A surprisingly intimate collection of poems that provides insight into marriage with alcoholism in an era more than 30 years ago. I particularly enjoyed the authors commentary and introductions to each poem that sets the stage for what she was going through at the time they were originally written.

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't read a lot of poetry, but when I do I've often wondered what was behind it and what the poet was hoping to convey that I'm (no doubt) missing. In this edition she explained the circumstances and background of each poem, which made it easier to empathize and that much more satisfying.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short book about authors early life before becoming a published author. Good read

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extreme Book Nerd Challenge 2019: A book of poetry

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on audio. I could feel the authors emotions and agony over her early life. I really enjoyed it.