Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less

by Neil Clark Warren

He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Dr. Warren shows readers how to hold out for God's best for their lives instead of settling for the first one to come along and outlines the factors that increase the chances for marital success. For those who want to become wiser in their relationship choices, this practical guide will help them find the love they want and avoid the pain they don't need.

Revised edition of How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less.

Genres: Relationships

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 30, 2002

About the author

Neil Clark Warren is an American clinical psychologist, Christian theologian, seminary professor and co-founder of the online relationship sites eHarmony and Compatible Partners.
In 1995, Warren and his son-in-law, Greg Forgatch, created Neil Clark Warren & Associates, a company which offers seminars and teaching tools based on Warren's books. In early 2000, they established eHarmony, an online compatibility matching service which gained two million users in its first three years. After retiring in 2007, Warren came out of retirement in July 2012, returning as the chief executive of eHarmony.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Must be perfect to find your perfect person

I liked a lot of what the author had to say about regarding getting to know yourself and identifying your must haves and can’t stands in a future mate. What was tough for me, was that it almost sounded like no one can have any baggage to find an ideal match for them - otherwise, the relationship will never work. Well, who doesn’t have at least some baggage? And, to think that, even if you’ve done the work, that you must be perfect to find your perfect mate, left me feeling that it is pointless to try. Or, that it is wholly unlikely that there could possibly be anyone out there who would be in harmony with the person I am such that we would make a healthy forever match.

Also, as one other commenter noted, there was supposed to be a quiz you could take to give you a score to which you should try to find someone within the same personality range as you - this does not exist in the book, nor is it mentioned where you can find it elsewhere.

In summary, though, I do think this book has given me insight into identifying which are the most important qualities for me in finding my best match - as well as understanding how to identify early on the people who are the ones I should walk away from so I don’t find myself once again hanging in there and hoping for the best (as I have been apt to do the majority of my dating life). Maybe there will be someone who could actually be a good fit for me - otherwise I guess I need to get comfortable with being alone since the book also highlights this is often better than being in an unhealthy marriage.

[Vivi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helped me to think about what characteristics my future husband should have in a very realistic and down-to-earth way (what I can live with/what I can absolutely not live with - for instance: his handling of finances, attitude towards god, having children, hygiene, how is he behaving with friends, etc...). It is also helpful to go through if you are interested in someone, because it also contains warnings and helps you recognize signs of the others behavior that might be a no-go for you or even a signal of a mentally ill/morbid personality. In the beginning of my husbands and my courtship I sometimes went back to it and asked my husband what view he held on this or that.