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The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline
Written by best-selling parenting and children's book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, 'The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline' provides parents with the tools they need to implement the Three C's of gentle discipline ~ Connection, Communication, and Cooperation ~ to create a peaceful home and a healthy parent/child relationship. Presented in bite-sized chapters perfect for busy parents and written in L.R.Knost's signature conversational style, 'The Gentle Parent' is packed with practical suggestions and real-life examples to help parents through the normal ups and downs of gentle discipline on the road to raising a generation of world changers.
167 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 18, 2013
About the author
L.R. Knost
10 books445 followersAward-winning author, feminist, and social justice activist, L.R.Knost, is the founder and director of the children's rights advocacy and family consulting group, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources ( http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/ ), and Editor-in-Chief of Holistic Parenting Magazine. Her work has been quoted from Hollywood to D.C. to South Africa, most notably in an address on children's rights to the South African Parliament by the Minister of Justice. She lives in Central Florida with her husband and the youngest four of her six children.
Books:
'Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages' published February 2013
'Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood' published June 2013
'The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline' published October 2013
'Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting' published May 2014
'Petey's Listening Ears' children's picture book for ages 2-6 published May 2011
Books:
'Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages' published February 2013
'Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood' published June 2013
'The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline' published October 2013
'Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting' published May 2014
'Petey's Listening Ears' children's picture book for ages 2-6 published May 2011
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
March 15, 2016
An absolutely life-changing parenting book! I picked up this book because I'm at the end of my rope with an incredibly strong-willed, aggressive, "problem"-labeled child, and I hoped it would offer a unique solution for my unique child, but I also worried that it might be fru-fru, hippy-type of parenting advice that sounds nice but doesn't actually work or help anyone. I was not disappointed at all! The gentle parenting strategies are so logical and Christ-like. I feel so much hope that I can correct the mistakes I have been making because I didn't know what else to do. Ultimately, this book changed my behavior, which I believe really will help my son in every way. I HIGHLY recommend this book for any new parent or one struggling with young children.
June 24, 2023
backlogged on reviews but this is forthcoming too
December 20, 2013
There is a huge controversy going around among parents and parent educators. How should children be disciplined? Some are firm believers in letting children lead while others follow the old school methods of "sparing the rod, spoiling the child". The author pulls from her personal experience as a mom of six children to write a well written book on her views of parenting. She advocates using a gentle method that involves no spanking, time-outs, or lectures. Practical advice and suggestions are sprinkled throughout her book.
I finished the entire book and am still unsure how to rate it. I completely agreed with quite a few things she talked about. But I also strongly disagreed with a couple of things too. As a mom of only two children, I'm certainly not an expert. And the author does mention getting to know your child, so that you know what works, since each child is different. But some of her methods or ideas just don't follow the parenting philosophy I've adopted as a mom. Her focus on the positive instead of the negative approach is what would sell me on the book. It inspired me to be more positive as a mom and for that reason alone I would probably recommend the book. Just remember that everyone is different and not everything will work with your children or for your family.
I received this book free of charge from Goodreads in exchange for my honest review.
I finished the entire book and am still unsure how to rate it. I completely agreed with quite a few things she talked about. But I also strongly disagreed with a couple of things too. As a mom of only two children, I'm certainly not an expert. And the author does mention getting to know your child, so that you know what works, since each child is different. But some of her methods or ideas just don't follow the parenting philosophy I've adopted as a mom. Her focus on the positive instead of the negative approach is what would sell me on the book. It inspired me to be more positive as a mom and for that reason alone I would probably recommend the book. Just remember that everyone is different and not everything will work with your children or for your family.
I received this book free of charge from Goodreads in exchange for my honest review.
September 1, 2016
Some helpful ideas for changing your parenting, especially for someone coming out of a context of controlling, anger-driven, or self-centered parenting.
But Christians will note that the Gospel is completely absent in the model presented.
In this book, the ultimate solution to most problems seems to be more connection and empathy, and allowing our children to be their true selves. The concept of parental authority is almost completely erased.
In this book, there's no sin and there's no Jesus, and I'm afraid this places a tremendous burden on ourselves as parents.
Next I want to read "Jesus, the Gentle Parent" by this author -- perhaps this will present a more biblically grounded version of the same material?
But Christians will note that the Gospel is completely absent in the model presented.
In this book, the ultimate solution to most problems seems to be more connection and empathy, and allowing our children to be their true selves. The concept of parental authority is almost completely erased.
In this book, there's no sin and there's no Jesus, and I'm afraid this places a tremendous burden on ourselves as parents.
Next I want to read "Jesus, the Gentle Parent" by this author -- perhaps this will present a more biblically grounded version of the same material?
February 20, 2021
Mostly opinion rather than evidence based; nonetheless Knost's persuasive style is from the heart and the book is helpful for all and any parent opposed to authoratibe parenting styles.
December 27, 2013
I could not love this book more!
Written by best-selling parenting and children’s book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, ‘The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline’ provides parents with the tools they need to implement the Three C’s of gentle discipline–Connection, Communication, and Cooperation–to create a peaceful home and a healthy parent/child relationship. Presented in bite-sized chapters perfect for busy parents and written in L.R.Knost’s signature conversational style, ‘The Gentle Parent’ is packed with practical suggestions and real-life examples to help parents through the normal ups and downs of gentle discipline on the road to raising a generation of world changers.
Table of Contents
~Introduction
Chapter 1 The Problem with Punishment offers insight on the punishment versus discipline debate.
~A Gentle Beginning
Chapter 2 Foundations: Setting the Stage for Discipline shares how our parenting choices in the first days and weeks and months of our children’s lives affect discipline in later stages.
Chapter 3 Castles in the Air: Building on Trust shows how laying a foundation of trust and building on it day by day, night by night, gentle response by gentle response creates the parent/child relationship essential to gentle discipline.
Chapter 4 Safe Surroundings shares simple ways to use baby proofing as visual boundaries to begin gentle limit-setting.
Chapter 5 Reasonable Expectations offers insight into normal child development and how our expectations affect our parenting.
Chapter 6 The Three C’s of Gentle Discipline presents the basic tools of gentle discipline and their components.
~Toddler Time
Chapter 7 Sandbox Soapbox: Toddler Insights shares parenting insights from a toddler’s perspective.
Chapter 8 Toddlers, Tantrums, and Time-In’s, Oh my! gives specific interventions and preventions for coping with and preventing tantrums.
Chapter 9 When Things Get Physical: Hitting, Kicking, Throwing, and Biting offers tools for working through the physical stage with toddlers and preschoolers.
Chapter 10 Testing the Boundaries shares insights and parenting techniques for guiding children through testing behaviors.
Chapter 11 Parenting in Public provides specific parenting tools for coping with behaviors in public places such as parks, shops, and restaurants.
Chapter 12 Crying Wolf: Don’t Be an Old Yeller! gives insight into the consequences of yelling at children.
Chapter 13 Toxic Parenting: Spanking, Shaming, Threatening, Manipulating contrasts peaceful, connected parenting with punitive, controlling parenting and their outcomes.
Chapter 14 All the ‘Right’ Parenting Moves gives insight into the basic truth that we are imperfect humans raising imperfect humans in an imperfect world and therefore no parenting will produce perfection.
~A Preschooler with a Plan
Chapter 15 Hurting Parents, Hurting Children shares ways parents can heal from their emotional baggage instead of passing that baggage along to the next generation.
Chapter 16 The Gift of a Strong-Willed Child offers parents with the tools to help children gifted with a rich and vibrant spirit blossom while still providing them with guidance and limits.
Chapter 17 You’re Not the Boss of Me redefines defiance to give parents a new perspective and offers insights to help parents work through the more challenging behaviors of childhood.
Chapter 18 A Place for Me shares the value of children having a small space of their own to escape from the stresses and sensory overload that can often spark behavioral issues.
Chapter 19 When Children Act Out: Reflecting Our Emotions provides insight into the often unexpected outbursts that signal a child’s need for help in coping with family issues.
Chapter 20 For Everything There is a Season encourages parents to slow down and recognize the basic truth that children are not small adults and to appreciate the beauty of childhood through the eyes of their children.
~Middle Childhood: Becoming Their Own Person
Chapter 21 Thoughtful Cooperation vs. Thoughtless Compliance offers tools for equipping children with inner guidance systems rather than external controls.
Chapter 22 The Butterfly Effect shares intentional shifts we can make in our parenting choices to change the trajectory of our children’s future.
Chapter 23 The Color of Change provides step-by-step changes parents can make to move from a punitive, control-based parenting style to connected, communication-based parenting.
Chapter 24 Bridge Over Troubled Waters: Parenting a ‘Problem’ Child offers insight into the world of the sensitive child and offers parents the tools to guide and support their sensory-gifted children gently and successfully.
Chapter 25 Raising Problem Solvers shares strategies to help parents provide their children with effective problem-solving tools to take into the future.
~Gentle Parenting: Teens and Beyond
Chapter 26 Children of Violence gives a glimpse into a real-world scenario that children experience every day and offers insight into the root of violence and bullying in our society.
Chapter 27 The Discipline of Choice examines the life lessons learned through a teen’s their own choices and the value of unconditional support from a connected parent.
Chapter 28 Helping Hurting Teens compares and contrasts the results of punitive, control-based parenting on adolescents and offers parents alternatives to punishments.
Chapter 29 Twelve Life Lessons for Daughters and Chapter 30 Twelve Life Lessons for Sons reach out and touch parents’ hearts to reawaken their memories of their own adolescent struggles and esteem issues to help them connect with where their teens are so that they can more empathetically and effectively guide them through the often turbulent adolescent years.
Appendix A
Five Gentle Tools for Handling Lying shares a practical and gentle approach to lying.
Appendix B
Backtalk is Communication – LISTEN tackles the startling truth that when children talk back they are actually communicating.
Appendix C
Twelve Steps to Gentle Parenting: Setting Yourself Up for Success offers a twelve month, step-by-step approach to work toward a more gentle style of parenting.
Written by best-selling parenting and children’s book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, ‘The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline’ provides parents with the tools they need to implement the Three C’s of gentle discipline–Connection, Communication, and Cooperation–to create a peaceful home and a healthy parent/child relationship. Presented in bite-sized chapters perfect for busy parents and written in L.R.Knost’s signature conversational style, ‘The Gentle Parent’ is packed with practical suggestions and real-life examples to help parents through the normal ups and downs of gentle discipline on the road to raising a generation of world changers.
Table of Contents
~Introduction
Chapter 1 The Problem with Punishment offers insight on the punishment versus discipline debate.
~A Gentle Beginning
Chapter 2 Foundations: Setting the Stage for Discipline shares how our parenting choices in the first days and weeks and months of our children’s lives affect discipline in later stages.
Chapter 3 Castles in the Air: Building on Trust shows how laying a foundation of trust and building on it day by day, night by night, gentle response by gentle response creates the parent/child relationship essential to gentle discipline.
Chapter 4 Safe Surroundings shares simple ways to use baby proofing as visual boundaries to begin gentle limit-setting.
Chapter 5 Reasonable Expectations offers insight into normal child development and how our expectations affect our parenting.
Chapter 6 The Three C’s of Gentle Discipline presents the basic tools of gentle discipline and their components.
~Toddler Time
Chapter 7 Sandbox Soapbox: Toddler Insights shares parenting insights from a toddler’s perspective.
Chapter 8 Toddlers, Tantrums, and Time-In’s, Oh my! gives specific interventions and preventions for coping with and preventing tantrums.
Chapter 9 When Things Get Physical: Hitting, Kicking, Throwing, and Biting offers tools for working through the physical stage with toddlers and preschoolers.
Chapter 10 Testing the Boundaries shares insights and parenting techniques for guiding children through testing behaviors.
Chapter 11 Parenting in Public provides specific parenting tools for coping with behaviors in public places such as parks, shops, and restaurants.
Chapter 12 Crying Wolf: Don’t Be an Old Yeller! gives insight into the consequences of yelling at children.
Chapter 13 Toxic Parenting: Spanking, Shaming, Threatening, Manipulating contrasts peaceful, connected parenting with punitive, controlling parenting and their outcomes.
Chapter 14 All the ‘Right’ Parenting Moves gives insight into the basic truth that we are imperfect humans raising imperfect humans in an imperfect world and therefore no parenting will produce perfection.
~A Preschooler with a Plan
Chapter 15 Hurting Parents, Hurting Children shares ways parents can heal from their emotional baggage instead of passing that baggage along to the next generation.
Chapter 16 The Gift of a Strong-Willed Child offers parents with the tools to help children gifted with a rich and vibrant spirit blossom while still providing them with guidance and limits.
Chapter 17 You’re Not the Boss of Me redefines defiance to give parents a new perspective and offers insights to help parents work through the more challenging behaviors of childhood.
Chapter 18 A Place for Me shares the value of children having a small space of their own to escape from the stresses and sensory overload that can often spark behavioral issues.
Chapter 19 When Children Act Out: Reflecting Our Emotions provides insight into the often unexpected outbursts that signal a child’s need for help in coping with family issues.
Chapter 20 For Everything There is a Season encourages parents to slow down and recognize the basic truth that children are not small adults and to appreciate the beauty of childhood through the eyes of their children.
~Middle Childhood: Becoming Their Own Person
Chapter 21 Thoughtful Cooperation vs. Thoughtless Compliance offers tools for equipping children with inner guidance systems rather than external controls.
Chapter 22 The Butterfly Effect shares intentional shifts we can make in our parenting choices to change the trajectory of our children’s future.
Chapter 23 The Color of Change provides step-by-step changes parents can make to move from a punitive, control-based parenting style to connected, communication-based parenting.
Chapter 24 Bridge Over Troubled Waters: Parenting a ‘Problem’ Child offers insight into the world of the sensitive child and offers parents the tools to guide and support their sensory-gifted children gently and successfully.
Chapter 25 Raising Problem Solvers shares strategies to help parents provide their children with effective problem-solving tools to take into the future.
~Gentle Parenting: Teens and Beyond
Chapter 26 Children of Violence gives a glimpse into a real-world scenario that children experience every day and offers insight into the root of violence and bullying in our society.
Chapter 27 The Discipline of Choice examines the life lessons learned through a teen’s their own choices and the value of unconditional support from a connected parent.
Chapter 28 Helping Hurting Teens compares and contrasts the results of punitive, control-based parenting on adolescents and offers parents alternatives to punishments.
Chapter 29 Twelve Life Lessons for Daughters and Chapter 30 Twelve Life Lessons for Sons reach out and touch parents’ hearts to reawaken their memories of their own adolescent struggles and esteem issues to help them connect with where their teens are so that they can more empathetically and effectively guide them through the often turbulent adolescent years.
Appendix A
Five Gentle Tools for Handling Lying shares a practical and gentle approach to lying.
Appendix B
Backtalk is Communication – LISTEN tackles the startling truth that when children talk back they are actually communicating.
Appendix C
Twelve Steps to Gentle Parenting: Setting Yourself Up for Success offers a twelve month, step-by-step approach to work toward a more gentle style of parenting.
April 5, 2018
Good for all ages
I only wish i would have read this book sooner. Insightful and creative approaches to dealing with conflict. I love how it encourages parents to bring our the individuality of our children instead of demanding confirmation. Well written and a very easy read.
I only wish i would have read this book sooner. Insightful and creative approaches to dealing with conflict. I love how it encourages parents to bring our the individuality of our children instead of demanding confirmation. Well written and a very easy read.
June 30, 2023
Easy read, brilliant examples of behaviour and struggles we have as parents, incredibly encouraging and most importantly reassuring and giving a belief that as a parent you can do everything with love.
June 2, 2019
Love it!
Incredible author, incredible book. I’m so thankful that L. R. Knost has shared her wisdom and insights surrounding parenting. It’s helped change my life for the better.
Incredible author, incredible book. I’m so thankful that L. R. Knost has shared her wisdom and insights surrounding parenting. It’s helped change my life for the better.
May 10, 2020
Beautiful and inspiring reading
This book came at the right time for me and gave me some inspiration and confidence in my parenting journey.
This book came at the right time for me and gave me some inspiration and confidence in my parenting journey.
July 13, 2021
So many great tips and techniques.
November 4, 2021
Not completely sure how to feel about this book. It has some very good points but I didn't agree with some of the things she was very strong on.
June 2, 2023
Short and sweet! While I already had a pretty good understanding of gentle parenting, it was helpful to read through the advice, examples and tips contained within this quick read.
July 8, 2023
Easy to read, highly recommend for parents specifically those with younger children.
March 18, 2025
What an amazing book. So glad I found this!
September 22, 2021
I thought this book was helpful in some ways but also painfully dull. I would have appreciated more illustrations about how to use her skills at different ages. The two big take aways for me were-
1. Your kid is probably/maybe just engaging in age appropriate behavior when they’re driving you bonkers. Taking that into account can be helpful in deciding disciple/correction strategy. Your kid is being a kid, not a “ill behaved” hoodlum.
2. Don’t threaten to take away things to try to get a child to comply but try to connect and solicit cooperation. This is helpful with my toddler but needs some flushing out with my older kids.
1. Your kid is probably/maybe just engaging in age appropriate behavior when they’re driving you bonkers. Taking that into account can be helpful in deciding disciple/correction strategy. Your kid is being a kid, not a “ill behaved” hoodlum.
2. Don’t threaten to take away things to try to get a child to comply but try to connect and solicit cooperation. This is helpful with my toddler but needs some flushing out with my older kids.
December 24, 2013
Relaxed, Reassuring, Practical ~ Written by L.R.Knost, best-selling, award-winning author of ‘Two Thousand Kisses a Day’ and ‘Whispers Through Time,’ ‘The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline’ shares the simple secrets of a peaceful, happy home in the Three C’s of gentle discipline–Connection, Communication, and Cooperation. In her signature relaxed and poetic style, L.R.Knost gently guides parents through the steps of applying the Three C’s in real-life scenarios from tantrums to defiance to parenting a strong-willed child to healing a broken parent/child relationship. Practical and proven, this newest installment in the Little Hearts Handbook parenting series will be tucked into diaper bags, kept handy on nightstands, and shared with good friends for its research-backed, experience-based, and humor-rich insights, ideas, and inspiration.
October 24, 2023
I believe wholeheartedly in gentle parenting but this book is utter trash. Instead of providing the science that backs this approach and real-life examples of its use, this book contains lots of hypotheticals and fabricated emotionally manipulative stories to illustrate points with a few of the author's own personal anecdotes sprinkled throughout, and provides few concrete examples. I had hoped this book would provide more of a deep dive but it was repetitive fluff to me. I'm glad this was a short book but the time still would have been better spent reading parenting blogs on gentle parenting
February 3, 2014
Just what I needed right now: a reminder to get back to parenting the way that I want to parent. For some reason, I have really found myself slipping into punitive parenting. I have felt angry, I have threatened, I have yelled. I don't want to do any of that! This was a good primer. Short and sweet and presented in such a way that it gave me the pep talk I needed. I can do this! For me and for my kids.
April 12, 2015
a gentle intro to gentle parentin
Another wonderful gentle parenting book. My ideas about parenting completely changed when my darling daughter was born and I was adrift looking for parenting advice that followed my heart. This book showed me the way and I intend to get Knosts other books. If you want to parent in a harmonious way without controlling or manipulating your child but actually parenting and teaching them, read this book.
Another wonderful gentle parenting book. My ideas about parenting completely changed when my darling daughter was born and I was adrift looking for parenting advice that followed my heart. This book showed me the way and I intend to get Knosts other books. If you want to parent in a harmonious way without controlling or manipulating your child but actually parenting and teaching them, read this book.
June 5, 2016
A must-read for every parent, especially those who are discontent with their current method of parenting. I don't like spanking my child, but I didn't know what to do instead. This book is a great start for those who are lost as to how to parent their children well when they don't know anything different than what they were raised with. I have nearly every chapter bookmarked for reference!
April 30, 2017
Love this book!! Opens the eyes and warms the heart - parenting done right. Very helpful, as we have implemented many of her tips. The Three C's are a must. Every parent and parent-to-be should read this and her other books!
February 6, 2016
This book was a good reminder of a lot of things that I already know but need to be reminded of and recommitted to. It gave a lot of practical ideas to implement in your parent-child relationships that I think will provide real change. Here's to being a more gentle parent.
September 12, 2016
Not very data driven. Sounds good, but difficult to implement.
August 17, 2014
Clear, insightful, calm, helpful. Lots of take away lines to help me become the parent I'd like to be.
September 18, 2016
I absolutely loved this book. I want to read it over and over again. It tells it how it is, with the same type of gentle communication it suggests for your parenting.
January 26, 2014
I've read all three and have found them all helpful for my sparkly kiddo.
Makes so much sense....
Makes so much sense....
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews