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Carly's Voice: Breaking Through Autism

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In this international bestseller, father and advocate for Autism awareness Arthur Fleischmann blends his daughter Carly’s own words with his story of getting to know his remarkable daughter—after years of believing that she was unable to understand or communicate with him.At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Carly remained largely unreachable through the years. Then, at the age of ten, she had a breakthrough. While working with her devoted therapists, Carly reached over to their laptop and typed “HELP TEETH HURT,” much to everyone’s astonishment. Although Carly still struggles with all the symptoms of autism, she now has regular, witty, and profound conversations on the computer with her family and her many thousands of supporters online. One of the first books to explore firsthand the challenges of living with autism, Carly’s Voice brings readers inside a once-secret world in the company of an inspiring young woman who has found her voice and her mission

402 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 17, 2012

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Arthur Fleischmann

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 489 reviews
Profile Image for Laura.
603 reviews33 followers
July 15, 2012
My feelings are always a little torn about books like this one -- the "autism miracle" memoir. I've read many, many of them and to me, as the parent of a severely autistic boy, they can be both encouraging and hugely discouraging. It's great to see the enormous strides that kids can make with the right intervention. However, not all kids respond in the same ways to the same treatments. It is to the Fleischmanns' credit that they do not suggest otherwise in this book. Unlike some other books of its type, they do not evangelize for any particular diet, medication, alternative treatment, ABA, whatever ... They only explain what helped Carly. They don't make sweeping claims of "cures" that will work for any autistic kid. As a mom that has tried many of these "cures" with limited success at best, I appreciate that.

Part of the value of this book is the unsparing look it gives into the life of a family with a severely autistic kid, specifically one who is doing intensive ABA. The mysterious and violent tantrums, the sleepless nights, the broken furniture -- it's comforting in a way to know that there's someone out there who's living in the same chaotic conditions that you are. Fleischmann describes the social isolation these families endure on the one hand--you feel overwhelmed, afraid and just generally unwelcome when you try to engage in public activities with your kid--and the extreme lack of privacy on the other. Intensive home-based ABA and the necessity of homeschooling kids with severe behaviors means a constant stream of therapists, tutors, consultants and others in and out of your house, pretty much nonstop for years, and lots of times it feels like parenting by committee. I really, really appreciate that Fleischmann describes how exhausting and dispiriting this can be, instead of casting himself and his wife as Perfect Superparents. Again, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. If you want to know what life is like for the family of a severely autistic and behavioral kid, read this book.

And then of course there is Carly. I think she will do a lot to dispel the idea that severely autistic individuals have nothing to offer the rest of us. And she gives neurotypical people valuable insight into what it is like to live with her condition. The fact that she began communicating with her parents at a relatively late age, and that it was a long process to get from those first few words to where she is today, is also encouraging. My son Sam is 12, and has limited expressive verbal abilities, but he is getting better at it, tiny step by tiny step. Thanks to his homeschooling and ABA program, Sam's behaviors have improved dramatically. I may never be able to have a conversation with him, but I'm not going to give up hope that his verbal abilities will get stronger.
808 reviews11 followers
June 29, 2017
The topic of this book was interesting, and I wish I could say I'd liked it more. Unfortunately, it had some major issues that made me, as an autistic adult, very uncomfortable with the book.

The story of how Carly Fleischmann learned to communicate by typing on a computer, after years of being unable to communicate with language due to her motor issues that prevent writing and speech, was interesting and important. However, having the story filtered through her father was...problematic.

Ms. Fleischmann's father, Arthur, seems at least as interested in telling us how much it sucks to raise a child with autism as about his daughter's achievements. The entire first half of the book, in fact, is devoted to this: there is no mention of Ms. Fleischmann's eventual ability to communicate, and the amount of time devoted to her early childhood seems to serve little purpose except to emphasize how much Arthur feels like a victim of autism.

The second half of the book is better, and is actually worth reading in my opinion. However, Arthur's desire to make the story about himself, and about his and his wife's victimhood, is still upsetting. In a perfect world, I would have much preferred to read a version of this book written by Ms. Fleischmann. Given that her slow typing speed, and the fact that she was busy with school at the time it was written, that might not have been possible, but a book co-authored by her and the therapists she was closest to would have been better.

Even Arthur seems to admit that she was closer to her therapists than her parents, especially in the early days of her communication, perhaps because she spent more time with them and they were more willing to treat her as a person. In fact, she was communicating with them for months before she was willing to do so with her parents. Surely they could have done a better job of writing a book about her than Arthur managed.

In any case, I found it frustrating that Arthur made relatively little attempt to explain Ms. Fleischmann's descriptions of her experiences throughout the book. The short epilogue written by her did a better job of explaining what she actually felt than hundreds of pages by her father.

An additional concern I have, though I'm not sure how to feel about it, is Arthur's portrayal of applied behavioral analysis (ABA) therapy. It seems clear that ABA therapy was a huge help for Ms. Fleischmann, but I also got the impression that she found it dehumanizing, something that is glossed over in the text. I know that many autistic adults who experienced ABA therapy as children have serious reservations about it, but from reading this book, one would get the impression that it is a perfect "silver bullet" for all autistic children.

Not related to autism, but contributing to my negative feelings about the book, was the fact that Arthur comes off as an incredibly entitled upper-class person with no real recognition of or concern for the amount of economic privilege his family has.

If Arthur's description is to be believed, his daughter's autism is a huge financial pressure on him and his wife, and they struggle to afford her treatment and need to max out their lines of credit and so forth. Despite this, though, they somehow seem to be living an incredibly well-off, upper-class life throughout the book, with multiple expensive family vacations (most of which they don't take their autistic daughter on), trips to very fancy restaurants, a bat mitzvah for which they rent out a hotel conference center and restaurant, and so forth.

Likewise, Arthur's description of how he and his wife managed to get Ellen DeGeneres to read Carly's bat mitzvah speech involves them both having a huge number of well-connected social and business connections, some of whom just happen to own businesses relevant to their plans. Yet Arthur shows no awareness that this is unusual, or that the average family would not be able to pull something like this off.

Arthur's entitled upper-class nature becomes most obvious, however, in the story of his attempt, along with the parents of several other students at the boarding school for autistic children that his daughter attends, to establish a private group home in Toronto just for their children. Even more than the Ellen story, this depends strongly on their having friends who just happen to own relevant businesses, but one doesn't get the impression that Arthur is aware that what he is doing would be far beyond most families' financial reach.

However, he does whine, quite a lot, about the presence of other group homes in the neighborhood where the Fleischmanns and the other families will be completely renovating a group home---and displacing its current residents---for their children. He does this without acknowledging the irony that he's also upset they can't get a group home in a nicer neighborhood because other upper-class people like him have gotten them banned in their neighborhoods: clearly, his daughter deserves the best, but other people in her situation are merely undesirables.
Profile Image for Valarie.
596 reviews15 followers
March 31, 2014
Although this isn't the most well-written book, it is definitely a must-read for anyone interested in autism. The first half is a bit of a slog, but we need to read through the tedious medical testing, psychologists' visits, and hours of therapy in order to understand how amazing Carly Fleischmann is. The sections she wrote are hilarious and insightful, and I commend the entire family for being brave enough to share their story with the world. Carly's father Arthur, who wrote the majority of the book, is honest about the times he lost his temper, and Carly (presumably) allowed him to share her more embarrassing behaviors such as bedwetting and tantruming. The honesty is necessary for readers to comprehend the daily struggle of autism, and we can then share in their triumph as Carly finds a way to communicate.
Profile Image for Joan Graves.
21 reviews
April 16, 2016
Arthur Fleishmann's treatment of Carly is disgusting at best. Carly is an amazing young woman who deserves better parenting. I had to stop reading after Carly was abused (presumably sexually) at a home her parents sent her to & rather than tend to the needs of their daughter the parents immediately began searching for a new home for Carly. After being home only 3 weeks the parents decide they can't handle it & put Carly in the home of a complete stranger.

The book is filled with hopelessness & depression as Fleischmann can not find anything positive about his daughter. Even after the miracle of her demonstrating her intelligence it is not enough for him.

The only reason I gave the book 2 stars was for Carly. She is quite remarkable despite the poor parenting inflicted on her. As the parent of 2 special needs sons who are similar to Carly & one actually worse, I am horrified by the selfish way the Fleischmanns respond to Carly's needs. And my personal opinion about how they handled the attack on Carly was abusive within itself.
Profile Image for Taryn Jaye.
137 reviews14 followers
May 24, 2018
Spoiler Alert: I hated this book. Anyone who knows me can probably look at the title and see that it goes against EVERYTHING my disability advocacy is centered on. So why did I pick it up? Mostly because I watch Carly's Youtube videos, and considering her channel (and this book, supposedly) is all about her voice - I figured she would be the one writing it, or would have a hand in writing it. But no. It was written by her father, who is one of the most vile autism parents I've ever had the displeasure of reading the words of. This book is full of ableism and hate towards Carly - and yes, I'm using the word hate because the author so obviously HATES his daughter and he hates everything that makes her who she is.

If my mother treated me or my disability like this I would probably seek out adoption/involvement with Child and Family Services. No joke.

If you want to know about Carly, learn it from her, not this man she has to call her father.
Profile Image for Kristy Trauzzi.
313 reviews3 followers
September 26, 2012
I thought the book was co-written. Or that it had more from Carly. But it didn't. And that kinda sucks.
For some reason when reading it I really didn't like the Dad. And I can't put my finger on why. It wasn't because he tried to play "super dad" or that he got frustrated and yelled at (because of) Carly. I almost felt like he was writing it more for a financial gain than to try and promote either autism awareness or the AWESOME accomplishment that Carly was able to do. But, I can't really find a good reason for thinking that way, that's just how I felt.
The one thing that was odd for me and I am tempted to tweet Carly to see if there is a response (I probably won't) . . . .In her speeches she thanks her Dad, but not her Mom. And I'm not sure why she didn't. Was it an oversight? Her Mom did lots, plus she's "Mom" and I don't know. It was weird.
To sum it up, what Carly did was AWESOME and it's amazing what determination and money can bring you. It's sad that children with special needs (whatever they may be) don't live to their full potential because their parents can't devote themselves or they simply can't come up with the finances to make it happen.
Profile Image for Holli Keel.
687 reviews7 followers
December 2, 2013
I wanted to like this book more than I did. Carly's story is amazing, and it should definitely be told. But something about her father's telling of it didn't work for me.

He went on and on about how horrible and difficult their lives were because of Carly's condition (autism). While I sympathize (and empathize a bit, too), it bothered me for two reasons. 1. I'm sure Carly doesn't enjoy knowing that her father complains about her for an entire book. 2. This family appeared to have a nanny and therapists who were on the clock practically 24/7. When did Mr. Fleischmann actually have to deal with Carly? Most parents of children with autism get little to no respite. So it was hard for me to relate to their predicament, since it seems they got so much more help and support than anyone I know of. (Though I admit, I don't know the severity of her condition nor have I lived their life, so it could be as bad as he implies.)

Though frankly, it sounded like the mom was the one who dealt with Carly while the dad went off to work every day, anyway. So, I just didn't understand why he hit that point home so hard. I think it would have been more genuine if the mom had written the book instead.

And the book could have used a more diligent editor. There are parts that get repeated in multiple chapters that could have been fixed by an editor quite easily.

With that said, Carly's story is inspiring. That her family, therapists, and Carly herself stuck with things so long to get to the point where she could communicate is amazing. She went through a lot of heartache (In fact, there's a heartbreaking chapter that deals with a parent's worse nightmare - sexual abuse.), and her triumph is all the more impressive because of it.

I would say that it's definitely an inspiring story worth reading, despite my general criticisms of the book.
4 reviews1 follower
February 3, 2017
The only thing I appreciated about this book was its honesty, and even that was tainted by the fact that the honesty in this story mostly took the form of "autism is such a horrible burden on the parents of children who have it". Almost none of the book was allotted to giving the reader Carly's perspective (something that I feel could have actually been helpful for allistic readers to understand autism from an autistic perspective), save for the epilogue and brief snippets of conversation in the later chapters. For a story advertised as demonstrating how people with autism should be heard, I found it ironic and yet telling how it was written almost entirely by Carly's neurotypical father.
Profile Image for Bianca.
292 reviews
April 17, 2018
This sums up the book:

Howard: She's smart.
Carly's dad Arthur: Uh-huh. *tries not to dampen Howard's enthusiasm*

This man spent at least 70 percent of the book victimizing himself and bordering on the line of abusing his daughter. He fantasized about slapping her often. He yelled and cursed at her often as a child before she was able to communicate via her computer. Let's not even talk about how she was abused while away from home and within a month after pulling her out of that house, her parents sent her to another one.
Profile Image for Luanne Ollivier.
1,958 reviews111 followers
November 12, 2012
There have been many fiction books released that feature an autistic protagonist - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend and just recently Love Anthony. I've read all three and really enjoyed them. Each author has brought their own 'version' of Autism and Autism spectrum to the written page.

But Arthur Fleischmann and his daughter Carly Fleischmann bring more than an imagined protagonist to the written page. Carly's Voice is an absolutely riveting memoir recounted by a father and his autistic daughter.

Arthur and his wife Tammy are overjoyed when they give birth to twin daughters. With son Matthew their family is complete. Taryn meets her milestones and thrives.....but, Carly doesn't. Carly is non verbal and severely autistic. What follows is an exhaustive tale of appointments, diagnoses, therapies, frustrations, and more. (Mom Tammy is fighting cancer as well.) I just could not even begin to fathom what the Fleishmanns went through. Arthur and Tammy are tireless advocates; determined to do whatever they can to help their daughter.

"Carly has autism. Three short words must suffice to explain a tome of weird behaviours and limitations. It's a shorthand for Carly-is-different-she-acts-in-odd-ways-she-loves-taking-off-her-clothes-especially-if-what-she-is-wearing-has-a-spot-of-water-on-it-she-likes repetitive-motion-like-that-of-a-swing-she doesn't speak. We didn't know what Carly knew and what she was incapable of knowing. She made odd movements and sounds and covered her ears when it was noisy. She cried often. And she never, ever stopped moving. Never."

And, in one of those 'what if we hadn't' moments....Carly types...Help Teeth Hurt. Although Carly was able to point to pictures for what she wanted, no one had any idea that she was able to communicate in this fashion. And at last Carly has a voice - she is finally able to 'speak'. But Carly's story doesn't end there - her fight to control her body, her desire to live like any other teenage girl, her family's dedication to helping Carly be the best she can be is an ongoing, uphill battle. And you won't believe the places it's take her....so far.

"What keeps us moving forward? Sometimes its just inertia. But we keep sight of Carly's dream to be accepted. She wants to live life fully, accomplish great things, and not be pitied. She just wants to be understood. What else can we do? We get up in the morning when the alarm goes off. And never accept 'no' or maybe."

I really couldn't put the book down. I was so humbled and inspired by Carly. As I type this up using all of my fingers, I am struck by the image of Carly labouriously typing one letter at a time with one finger while trying to control her body's spasms.

Carly is an inspiration to all, but especially to those who are living with, coping with or touched by autism. For those who haven't got a clue - it's an eye opener. Highly recommended.

"I am an autistic girl but autism doesn't define who I am or how I'm going to live my life." Carly.

100 reviews1 follower
June 4, 2012
OH MY GOODNESS! This was probably the best book I've read in a long time.

I was lead to a YouTube video on Carly by a friend and that lead me to this book. This book is about a young girl, a twin in fact, who suffers from autism. And not her twin, sadly. Her parents were amazing supports to her and tried every type of education they could get. The dad often lay beside Carly at night to keep her calm but she was so disturbed in her sleep patterns that he got little sleep. She had no verbal skills but one day at 10 years of age, she suddenly goes to some sort of typing machine and types out HURT TEETH HELP. Suddenly everyone was aware at how much she knew and could communicate.

she has this amazing ability to hear EVERYTHING around her, assimilate it, and act like none of this is effecting her. Her vocabulary is incredible. Her humor was something I'd like to have. She needed a voice and for her bat mitzvah she asked Ellen DeGeneres to be her 'voice' and read her speech. She's been interviewed my Larry King and probably others.

I came away with a total different view of autism. Not that I could handle such a child but I now understand them so much better. I suggested it as a summer read to our book club as well. I would highly recommend this to everyone.
Profile Image for Alix.
169 reviews39 followers
January 10, 2021
Very conflicted about this book.
I'm excited Carly had the opportunity to find her voice and share her story.

However, I'm very upset because this book seems like she father used her story to write a book for money and for people to feel sorry for him.

My kids don't have autism, and I can only imagine how difficult it could be to raise a child with autism like Carly. But, the family seemed to have a lot of supports in place ( a lot more than most families) and yet for the first half of the book, all the father did was complain about how difficult his life is and how frustrated he is dealing with Carly.

I also fell down the rabbit hole with this. I went to see what Carly's life is like now. She had a successful talk show on YouTube where she interviewed celebs like Channing Tatum, and had a strong social media presence. Then 2 years ago she posted a status about being abused by her dad's friend, and gave the impression she wasn't currently safe. The next day, "she" took down the post and made an appologizing post saying she was fine. THIS WAS HER LAST POST AND ITS BEEN ABOUT 2 YEARS. there's a lot of blogs and speculation that something happened to Carly??? I don't know much about it, but reading up on some of the theories is frightening.
41 reviews2 followers
May 19, 2012
This book reaffirms what I already believe as an educator working with children on the spectrum--that they are smart and capable and that we have to encourage them to get their voices heard. Carly's story isn't remarkable because she is the only smart nonverbal person with autism. There are many smart people whom we underestimate because of their differences. However, she is one of the few to whom people are listening. hopefully her father's story will inspire people to listen more carefully to other children with disabilities instead of relying on outdated stigma-filled interpretations of their realities.
39 reviews
September 12, 2016
The Fleischmanns just come off as horrible people and their championing of ABA doesn't help the cause. Why did it take so long and so many people to understand that an autistic person was even a person at all? Perhaps if they'd taken that mindset from the beginning they'd have put themselves and Carly through a hell of a lot less.

And most importantly, why is this book titled 'Carly's Voice', and yet not told from it? Carly a remarkably astute and intelligent woman, and too often the stories of people with disabilities are taken from them by caregivers indignant about the role they've been cast in.
Profile Image for Kerry.
94 reviews2 followers
June 7, 2013
My rating is for the storytelling more than the writing. As the parent of a nonverbal child with autism, so much of these experiences mirror my own. And Carly's breakthroughs and progress give me hope for my own daughter. This book is honest, and because of that, it was hard to read at times, but it's a better book for the lack of sugar coating.
Profile Image for Paige Dalton-Reitz.
209 reviews
May 5, 2017
I was disappointed with this book. The title lead me to believe it would be more Carly's story, but it was primarily her father's story. It was riddled with wording like "afflicted with autism" and painting autism as something that caused Carly to act "badly." Definitely interested in reading more memoirs that don't paint autism as something you "beat" or "overcome."
Profile Image for Lexi Mag.
564 reviews23 followers
May 12, 2018
Please stop recommending this book to me. Thanks
119 reviews3 followers
May 9, 2013
This book was hard to rate because the information was great but the delivery was not so great. Carly's story is certainly one written to inspire and give hope to other parents who have children with autism, particularly those children who are non-verbal. I absolutely admire and honor what this family has accomplished!

The message, "Don't give up . . . ever!" is great. I do believe that oftentimes the abilities of disabled students are underestimated. It's a tragedy, really. I enjoyed the fact that Mr. Fleischmann was willing to explore his failings, doubts, etc. of being a parent. All parents have flaws. I can't even begin to understand what these parents went through in rearing Carly. The fact that they stayed together was incredible. I loved that they were very realistic in how much they could handle. Carly full-time? Nope. Sounds like too much for ANYONE to handle. But whatever they pursued for Carly, they did it full-force. Awesome.

What made the reading difficult was the lack of a timeline. It seemed to bounce around, and I would get confused as to how old Carly was when different things were happening. This could have been solved easily by including a timeline with age, school, etc. Or, maybe the chapters could have been broken down that way.

Some parts in this book were simply unbelievable. But I guess that is part of why the story has been told. To have a non-verbal autistic child with extreme behavior suddenly begin typing at 10 and able to communicate. But what made it questionable is how she would never type for family, only for certain therapists. Doesn't that beg the question could they be doing the thinking and typing for her? I know I could do extensive research online and on youtube about this, but I simply don't have the time. I felt the book left that open to debate which is very odd!

**SPOILER ALERT** (Do not read past this point)

The part about the alleged sexual assault was strange too. How can parents of a minor receive so little information about what happened? And then, while explaining her allegations, the dad decides to mention that Carly has been known to lie before. Why wasn't that brought up much earlier? Again, doubt seeps in, and Fleischmann did little to prove the case. Could the accusations have been Carly's way to guilt trip her parents into keeping her at home more?

Another unclear aspect was if any of Carly's typings were voiced. It only mentioned a machine at the end that would speak what she typed. Did she use it often? If so, when?

I will probably be raked over the coals for stating these things, but I am just writing my reactions, how I felt as the reader. The author needed to make a more powerful case for Carly's ability. It all seemed so vague. By the end of the book, was she typing in front of her family members? If everything in the book isl true, then I'm an idiot. But then, the father should have been more convincing in his writing and left me absolutely certain about who Carly is, what she has been through, and what she can do.

I would love to hear from Taryn now. What was her experience as the sister of Carly. That's a tale worth reading!

5 reviews
April 8, 2012
Early reviews of Carly's Voice tout it as a "must-read for those living with autism". I personally place this book amidst the many other great memoirs I have read - and I have no doubt it will eventually become one of the big celebrity memoirs, too.
For me, a huge part of the book is how it depicts a very real and beautiful family story. Picture the Fleischmanns standing together, arms linked in a tight, not always comfortable, circle. Five people looking in at each other with intelligent, compassionate, and sometimes very tired and very sad, eyes. They work to solve the problems at hand and take time to celebrate the joys and blessings under their roof. The miracle is how they then turn their eyes outward to work with and advocate for others in need - and not just those on the autism spectrum, but anywhere help is needed. Carly once wrote about tzedakah because she knew of it firsthand; because it was something she, her parents and siblings had lived.
Another amazing thing about this book, about this girl, is how by the time Carly finds an outlet for her voice (I can't say "finds her voice" because she too clearly was born with that intact) she expresses herself without hesitation, without neuroses, without the guile and self-deprecation so common to those her own age. It's not that Carly isn't aware of how the majority of teenage girls communicate, it's just that she eschews it in her own form of self-expression. This is a girl on a mission and Carly instinctively knows how to be persuasive and how to get a point across.
Carly also knows how to make you laugh, how to explain complex things, and how to lay bare an inner life in almost poetic terms. One of my personal favourite things is the way she signs her letters - so revealing, so impactful, and just so freaking cute. Arthur's style is straight-shooting, engaging, and witty. Anyone with a family can relate to and learn from their experience. Don't miss this treasure.
Profile Image for Melinda.
444 reviews2 followers
December 21, 2015
To be honest, I hated the father in this book. He spent the first half of the book in an all-out war with his daughter's diagnosis. He never seemed to find any acceptance of Carly's autism. By warring with her autism, he was warring with her.

There were so many offensive descriptions of his daughter. He repeatedly called her vocalizations, "bleating." He called her feral. This book just hurt my heart too much to continue, even when Carly's words started appearing in the narrative. Arthur never seemed to see the gifts she had and never rejoiced in any gains she made in the first half of the book. He blamed her for how his life was different from other dads. The father's patronizing and insensitive tone wore me down and I just couldn't finish the book.

This was recommended by my son's home therapist and I'm unhappy about it. We work very hard to treat my son with respect and to assume competence with him. This father did the opposite and then wondered why his daughter was angry with him. I couldn't finish the book because it was bad for my mental health.

2 stars because Carly's additions to the book are extremely valuable, but I just couldn't wade through Arthur's toxic attitude.
Profile Image for Bob.
36 reviews
May 14, 2012
I wasn't looking for this book, it just caught my eye one evening as I was walking in Chapters with my kids. The book seemed inspirational, and I was in the mood to be inspired. I don't know anything about autism nor do I know anyone who has autism, yet I couldn't help but read through this book so quickly. I looked forward to every page as the Fleischmann family took on the challenges of living with Carly. I also enjoyed Mr. Fleischmann's honest writings, his descriptions of personal feelings, the struggles of his wife. I found the story and the writing style kept me glued to the book until I could finish it. I loved the story of Ellen DeGeneres reading Carly's letter and yet the story of Carly being abused was heartbreaking. The sections where IMs from Carly are mixed in here and there in the story, a nice touch. Also, I liked that Carly wrote the ending chapter, and her writings are insightful yet humourous. If you deal with autism, I suspect this book can be quite useful. But even if you don't deal with autism, you can't help but be touched by this story.
Profile Image for J.
263 reviews
January 5, 2024
Wow there’s just so much to say about this book.
Firstly when Carly actually is writing it’s good, it explains thoroughly why she was banging her head hurting herself etc…

But then any time the father writes which is like 90% of the book; it’s the most ableist disgusting abusive point of view. He blatantly says how much of a burden she is and although the parents clearly put her in lots of therapies which did help, they also put her through many that didn’t. The latest therapy was electroshock therapy (supposedly to cure the ocd) to which she was unable to even write anymore etc. I feel many mixed feelings with this book and honestly if she wrote a book with any other person it likely would have been better than this one.

The one thing the father does explain is that all the time him and his family or others talked negatively about her, she heard everything. She may be nonverbal but that doesn’t mean she can’t understand you. It’s always so important to presume competence.
48 reviews2 followers
May 12, 2014
I was looking forward to reading this book to find out how the "family and autistic child" really feels. it was truly enlightening. We see from one end. while they live it daily. Im grateful that the Fleishman's wrote this book and I highly recommend that all families who work with or live with autistic children/adults read this book. We are NOT alone. There are resources out thete, but you need to tee educate yourselves and get the assistance you need. i wush Carly the best of luck in her future endeavors! When is your next book coming out?
Profile Image for Diana Farrell.
31 reviews
December 1, 2021
Carly's story is really interesting, I just wish I could hear it from her. The writer's view of autism is dated and frequently offensive. It is heartbreaking to read how the poor child was subjected to hours of 'therapy' to 'correct' the behaviours others deemed unacceptable, and outright rejection by the people who should have been there for her. She sounds like an amazing woman, despite what she has been put through.
Profile Image for Jalon Fowler.
97 reviews
April 16, 2012
AMAZING! Thank you to the Fleischmann family for candidly sharing their journey! As a mom of a kids w/ASD, I am very thankful to Carly for shedding light on some important yet mysterious things about autism - audio filtering, stimming, etc.. I am so happy that Carly found her inner voice and really believe this to be one of the most influential and amazing stories I have ever read!
Profile Image for Jacqueline.
14 reviews
April 13, 2012
Reads like a suspense-novel! Such an eyeopener on autism! Highly recommend this book!
Profile Image for Iona  Stewart.
833 reviews277 followers
May 14, 2020
This is a book about a severely autistic girl who cannot speak, written by her father. The family lives in Toronto, Canada.

Carly is one of fraternal twin sisters; the other twin, Taryn, is completely normal as is the big brother, Matthew.

There are problems with Carly from the start; “she was missing most of her developmental milestones such as walking, talking, playing, and following basic instructions. She had lack of eye contact, social engagement, and speech. Her inability to make more than garbled sounds was diagnosed as apraxia – a motor-planning deficiency in which the muscles in her mouth failed to obey the directions from her brain”.

Carly finally walked at two and was toilet trained at five. She was diagnosed with severe autism and oral apraxia.

The parents, Arthur and Tammy, “dragged her from doctor to clinic to lab”.

On top of the problems with Carly, Tammy was diagnosed with lymphoma and needed chemotherapy.

Re Carly, they try everything – “a daily regimen of physiotherapy, speech.-language therapy, music and art therapy, and social skills development.

They find Barb, a speech-language pathologist who works with Carly for many years, and Howard, another excellent therapist; and also discover applied behaviour analysis, or ABA, a form of behaviour therapy. Carly benefits greatly from the ABA.

Carly tears around the house, jumps up and down, flings herself on furniture, hurls things from cupboards onto the floor, rips open packages and dumps their contents.

She learns to spell and is rewarded for her application with “potato chips”, which I think are what I would term “potato crisps”.

The parents persevere in trying new things with Carly and progress slowly occurs.

In order to get some rest and sleep, they at times place Carly in a residential facility for short periods,

Carly has learnt to spell and at one point her helpers are shocked by her using one of her voice output devices to spell out “Help teeth hurt”.

Through the years Carly spells out messages more and more and reveals her inner life and intelligence.

This is a remarkable book, wonderfully written by Carly’s Dad; he goes into full detail about her life; and we are given examples of her writing from her blog posts, where she answers questions from her many fans.

I would recommend the book to parents of other non-verbal sufferers of autism since it will provide them with hope and inspiration.

But Carly does not learn to SPEAK and I am wondering why her parents do not seek treatment, traditional or alternative, to heal her apraxia, if that is the problem, in order for her to gain speech.

In order to resolve various health problems, I am myself working with Jean Logan’s healing glyphs, which include one called Brain and Nervous System and another called Detoxification II, which clears the body of heavy metals like mercury and aluminium, and other toxins.

Also, the Medical Medium, Anthony William, tells us that autism is caused by mercury and perhaps other toxins in the brain. He therefore provides us with a recipe for his Heavy Metal Detox Smoothie, which clears them out for us.

Many of us are in need of this cleansing and I am drinking this smoothie as I write this. However, for optimal effect the smoothie needs to be taken daily or as much as possible.

To sum up, this is an inspiring book and all parents of children with severe autism should read it since it shows that miracles are possible for them.
Profile Image for Miranda.
669 reviews11 followers
November 30, 2020
This story was both educational and real and I found it very impactful. Personally, I learned so much about the Austin’s spectrum and identified some of my own misconceptions relating to it. Carly’s chapter at the end is 100% worth reading and will stay in my mind while being a nurse and a human interacting with people on the spectrum and will forever change my perspective.


That being said, as a book I don’t know how successful it was. The writing (by her father) was very plain and formulated. I.e. “she said” “replied Carly” “discussed”; it felt very dry and repetitive and included pages and pages of pure scripts and reports. I think this book would have done better if the father and Carly hired a third person (a professional author) to interview them and write their story through a third persons perspective?

Or maybe a shorter book with just Carly’s writing and perspective?

Idk something about the first 3/4ths of the book felt off to me and I think it was the basic writing style and repetition of the story.

The story though is worth researching and Carly’s voice was heard loud and clear which is the true meaning! Definitely read her first hand account at the end of the book and the interview portion!!!!
Profile Image for Becky.
338 reviews13 followers
October 21, 2023
It was very long. I got a little tired of all the details at the end about the “rise to fame” and the general view of life by the author was somewhat disheartening.
But he is honest about struggles of having a child with autism, and the book is helpful for understanding what that’s like, and also how the sensory overload can feel to those who have it.

I just think it could’ve been a little shorter, or that you could read a different shorter book on the subject if understanding autism is your goal… parts of the story were touching, but I didn’t have a lot of common ground with the author or his family so apart from being interested in what life with autism is like, I didn’t connect otherwise.
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