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The Emotionally Unavailable Man
Audiobook 9 CDs The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing is two books in one -- one side is for the emotionally unavailable man and the other is for his partner. It details why men become emotionally unavailable and how they can reconnect to their feelings, as well as how women women can help or hinder this process. If you are serious about healing your relationship where emotional unavailability is a problem, The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing, is, indeed, the blueprint you've been looking for. It is a landmark book that has the power to change the world.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2004
133 people are currently reading
344 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 8, 2020
This book is very aimed at married men and their partners, which is great but wasn't clear to me when I picked it up, so as a younger single guy who struggles to have a relationship in the first place because of emotional unavailability I found it a bit less helpful than I had hoped from the title and description. Despite that, there were some great ideas on how to get more in touch with your emotions and improve your relationship with your parents, and it was nice to get a picture of what a healthy relationship looks like.
September 20, 2016
I read this book to add more knowledge to my therapy and wellness coaching. Amazed.
It is very well written. A surprise benefit I forgave my father during the process of reading this book.
It focuses on the different socialization of men and women.... and how this socializing cuts men of from learning to feel their emotions and the symptoms that manifest from that.
It is very well written. A surprise benefit I forgave my father during the process of reading this book.
It focuses on the different socialization of men and women.... and how this socializing cuts men of from learning to feel their emotions and the symptoms that manifest from that.
September 28, 2015
One of the best books on what to do to make your marital life better! It has very simple steps, and clarifies a lot of points that get lost during busy life responsibilities... It is a must read for anyone who thinks something was wrong in their lives... I really loved this one
July 8, 2018
This is a quick read... But helpful for men who want to know what it means to be emotionally unhealthy. A good intro into the topic of emotional health, especially for men.
July 21, 2019
Heavy. Picked it up in attempt to save my faltering marriage. Too late for that, but I learned some useful things about myself and the cause(s) of my inability to truly connect with others.
November 21, 2022
We are men raised by generations of emotionally unavailable men. I wish knowledge such as in this book was more popular in the mainstream media. I wish more people would talk about it. This book is written in a very simple manner which makes it easier to follow for anyone.
August 31, 2021
Extremely insightful and clarifying. This book puts a fine and crystal clear point on the issues and challenges around emotional unavailability for both women and men alike.
June 23, 2019
If you have even a modicum of self-awareness and social cognizance, you won't need the info in this very heteronormative book. Plus, it gets weird sometimes, e.g. "never compromise yourself and remember that you always have choice. This concept needs to be imbedded in you as deeply as we never have sex with our children" what in the actual fuck? there were NO other comparisons to use?
But it does have its merits. Here are some of my takeaways:
"he doesn't have the tools to handle your hurricanes"....you are using a five year-old's coping mechanism....it's a subtle way of fighting" (reaction/behavior determined by the other rather than actions)
Hurricanes take away safety in the relationship. If he does or says something hurtful to you, instead of pulling away, say i'm just and not able to talk to ayou about it.
passive-aggressiveness is anger that has gone underground and come out sideways
e-unavailable men can't negotiate the storm
Ask yourself: what would a woman do? not a girl
parents should give their children choice because it instills them with personal power as adults (this explains why i am so bad at making decisions)
relationship develop its depth through hard work, otherwise it's just a light-hearted fling
Being outside of your comfort zone is the only time you grow. it will mean being uncomfortable with your feelings
He is wounded, incomplete, imperfect. It comes from emotional damage. Don't take it personally
Re communication: if you water and water and water a plant when it really needs to be allowed to dry out between waterings, the will die.
Fixing your partner vs healing your partner: fixing=doing the work for him, healing means understanding his wounds and making it OK and safe for him to grow
If you want him to be at a 100 on the communication scale and he's only at a 16, patience is key. It will take time...which takes time
WHat to say to him: I see the effort you've been making and they are so nice. I'm committed to making our relationship wonderful and in order to do that I have to be able to talk to you about the hard stuff, but I'm adraid. In the passt you get reactionary and it shuts me down and makes me feel stupid. I don't think you're doing this on purpose but I need you to har that I'm willing to communicate more effectively with you if you are
Make room for his learning curve. change take time and practice
Love isn't a feeling it's a doing
you can't create safety if you are a bottomless pit and take up all the space with your stuff
People whose childhoods were marked with extreme chaos or change will desperately try to control all the externals
emotional incest: child is asked to take care of the parent emotionally. No boundaries. Every single person I have ever worked with who has emotional incest in his history--every single person--express fearing that thair partener won't like the real me. They feel their partner fell in love wit hthe avt...after all his whole childgood was marked by being loved for her act
Change: do, say, and think things differently
Come to know yourself and your games. Have appropriate boundaries.
He is not my HP. Doesn't determine my well-being or happiness
But it does have its merits. Here are some of my takeaways:
"he doesn't have the tools to handle your hurricanes"....you are using a five year-old's coping mechanism....it's a subtle way of fighting" (reaction/behavior determined by the other rather than actions)
Hurricanes take away safety in the relationship. If he does or says something hurtful to you, instead of pulling away, say i'm just and not able to talk to ayou about it.
passive-aggressiveness is anger that has gone underground and come out sideways
e-unavailable men can't negotiate the storm
Ask yourself: what would a woman do? not a girl
parents should give their children choice because it instills them with personal power as adults (this explains why i am so bad at making decisions)
relationship develop its depth through hard work, otherwise it's just a light-hearted fling
Being outside of your comfort zone is the only time you grow. it will mean being uncomfortable with your feelings
He is wounded, incomplete, imperfect. It comes from emotional damage. Don't take it personally
Re communication: if you water and water and water a plant when it really needs to be allowed to dry out between waterings, the will die.
Fixing your partner vs healing your partner: fixing=doing the work for him, healing means understanding his wounds and making it OK and safe for him to grow
If you want him to be at a 100 on the communication scale and he's only at a 16, patience is key. It will take time...which takes time
WHat to say to him: I see the effort you've been making and they are so nice. I'm committed to making our relationship wonderful and in order to do that I have to be able to talk to you about the hard stuff, but I'm adraid. In the passt you get reactionary and it shuts me down and makes me feel stupid. I don't think you're doing this on purpose but I need you to har that I'm willing to communicate more effectively with you if you are
Make room for his learning curve. change take time and practice
Love isn't a feeling it's a doing
you can't create safety if you are a bottomless pit and take up all the space with your stuff
People whose childhoods were marked with extreme chaos or change will desperately try to control all the externals
emotional incest: child is asked to take care of the parent emotionally. No boundaries. Every single person I have ever worked with who has emotional incest in his history--every single person--express fearing that thair partener won't like the real me. They feel their partner fell in love wit hthe avt...after all his whole childgood was marked by being loved for her act
Change: do, say, and think things differently
Come to know yourself and your games. Have appropriate boundaries.
He is not my HP. Doesn't determine my well-being or happiness
September 26, 2020
Excellent! A very honest and simple explanation about emotions in men.
Read
June 4, 2016No stars.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews