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How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships That Really Work
We all know how it feels when our colleagues talk about us but not to us. It’s frustrating, and it creates tension. When candor is missing in the workplace, employees feel like they’re working in the dark. Leaders don’t know what employees really think; managers are frustrated when outcomes are not what they expect; and employees often don’t know where they stand performance-wise.
Many of us remain passive against broken, indirect communication habits, hoping that things will miraculously improve⎯but they won’t. Not without skills and effort.
The people you work with can work with you, around you, or against you. How people work with you depends on the relationships you cultivate. Do your colleagues trust you? Can they speak openly to you when projects and tasks go awry?
Take charge of your career by taking charge of your business relationships. Make your work environment less tense and more productive by practicing direct communication. Set relationship expectations, work with people how they like to work, and give and receive regular feedback.
In How to Say Anything to Anyone, you’ll learn how
•ask for what you want at work
•improve all types of working relationships
•reduce the gossip and drama in your office
•tell people when you’re frustrated in a way that resonates
•take action on your ideas and feelings
•get honest feedback on your performance
Harley shares the real-life stories of people who have struggled to get what they want at work. With her clear and specific roadmap in hand, Harley enables you to create the career and business relationships you really want⎯and keep them.
Many of us remain passive against broken, indirect communication habits, hoping that things will miraculously improve⎯but they won’t. Not without skills and effort.
The people you work with can work with you, around you, or against you. How people work with you depends on the relationships you cultivate. Do your colleagues trust you? Can they speak openly to you when projects and tasks go awry?
Take charge of your career by taking charge of your business relationships. Make your work environment less tense and more productive by practicing direct communication. Set relationship expectations, work with people how they like to work, and give and receive regular feedback.
In How to Say Anything to Anyone, you’ll learn how
•ask for what you want at work
•improve all types of working relationships
•reduce the gossip and drama in your office
•tell people when you’re frustrated in a way that resonates
•take action on your ideas and feelings
•get honest feedback on your performance
Harley shares the real-life stories of people who have struggled to get what they want at work. With her clear and specific roadmap in hand, Harley enables you to create the career and business relationships you really want⎯and keep them.
181 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
155 people are currently reading
1175 people want to read
About the author
Shari Harley
3 books5 followersShari Harley is a business communication expert. She started her career selling and facilitating effective communication programs for Dale Carnegie Training. She has also served as a business communication trainer for American Century Investments, led leadership development and succession planning for OppenheimerFunds, and taught leadership courses at the University of Denver. Harley holds an MA in applied communication from the University of Denver and a BA in psychology from Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri.
In 2007 Harley left her corporate director job to launch CANDID CULTURE, a business communication training and keynote speaking firm that seeks to bring effective communication back to the workplace, making it easier to give positive feedback and constructive feedback at work. Shari is known globally as an engaging, funny, content-rich business communication keynote speaker and trainer. Her practical approach to making business relationships work and improving business communication has enabled her to speak and train throughout the United States and in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, India, Dubai, and Australia. She holds the CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) designation.
Shari has a passion for international travel, and there are few places she won't go. When not traveling, speaking, or training, Shari spends as much time as possible outside. She lives in Denver, Colorado.
In 2007 Harley left her corporate director job to launch CANDID CULTURE, a business communication training and keynote speaking firm that seeks to bring effective communication back to the workplace, making it easier to give positive feedback and constructive feedback at work. Shari is known globally as an engaging, funny, content-rich business communication keynote speaker and trainer. Her practical approach to making business relationships work and improving business communication has enabled her to speak and train throughout the United States and in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, India, Dubai, and Australia. She holds the CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) designation.
Shari has a passion for international travel, and there are few places she won't go. When not traveling, speaking, or training, Shari spends as much time as possible outside. She lives in Denver, Colorado.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
March 27, 2023
This book has not aged well. The author has a tendency to promote unhealthy work/life balances (suggests working late nights, weekends, being available at all hours for your employees, etc.) to further your career and have your company take notice of you. And while she speaks of candor and how important it is, what she is truly promoting is cold, blunt rudeness. One of the few positives I did appreciate was the encouragement to ask questions. You didn't get assigned the project you wanted - ask why. You were denied the job you thought you were a perfect fit for - ask why. You want to communicate better with your boss - ask how. Assuming isn't going to be productive for anyone involved.
August 2, 2013
With this book I learned how to tell someone they smell in a nice way.
September 28, 2015
The whole time I read this book, I wanted to go out and purchase three more copies and give one to each and every boss I've had and attach a special message personally from me in the front cover. So that they can't regift this book and feel obligated to read it.
Boss 1. Here's a great book on communication. It's okay to open up to your team and let them know you're going through a rough patch. It's also okay to pull me aside and tell me when I've done a good job, and when I'm doing an awful job. Conversely, way to go for having weekly planned out meetings were we can communicate and effectively show how much we care and want to do better at our jobs. I wish this was done with our whole team and not just managers. But props, for carrying out these meetings effectively and really always having a good positive attitude and optimistic outlook during each meeting.
Boss 2. I read this book, and couldn't help but think of you. Man, do you have some amazing managerial qualities. You took the time to have one-on-one sessions with all your direct reports EACH MONTH! You took the time to get to know each of your direct reports - not just their work qualities, but personal qualities as well. You didn't take offense when someone came to you with a complaint or were upset at you for how you "ran" things. Instead, you intently listened and tried to make the situation better. And you really showed concern for people you managed. However, you are a bully! What were you thinking when you decided to start talking about people behind their back? Do you really think it's appropriate to manipulate situations to get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. Regardless of the people you have to knock down in the way? Do you think it's funny to make fun of someone's religion, race, sexuality, and gender? Do you say crude things to your wife at home like the jokes that you tell in Team Meetings? As a manager, you are superb. But as a human being you are disgusting. Get a grip on respecting others for who they are. And just like if someone comes to you with a concern about the way you are managing, and you patiently listen and try to change, maybe it would be nice if you tried to adapt this to people's individualities. It made me sick to my stomach to remember some of the things that you would say about people "in private" or "confidence." This affected your work too much and it shows that you really have insecurities for you to say the things about others that you did. Including me, after I left. Too bad some people in life always have to have a scapegoat. You can't change everyone, but through good communication, you can improve relationships enough to motivate them to love working for you. That is why you need to read this book.
Boss 3. I have no kind words for you. When you say you're going to promote someone. You do it. And stop telling them time and time again. After hearing from you SEVEN times I would be promoted, it just got old. Be honest. Work Hard. Stop hating Women. It was cruel how women had to come ask your permission to go pump breast milk. As if you had something more important for them to do at the time. And thank heavens you said yes. How cruel to say no. Do you know what it's like to feel engorged. While you would take four thirty minute breaks throughout the day to go get sodas with "the boys." And making fun of your team for changing diapers, and taking time off work when they had a baby? Seriously, stop hating women. Start being honest. Start actually working hard. Coming in early, leaving late doesn't necessarily mean you are working hard. And you need this book to learn how to communicate. Stop telling me I am doing awesome, great, superb, haven't ever had an employee as great as me... and in my exit interview telling me everything contrary to what you said the whole time I worked for you. I was confused why i never got promoted, never got recognized, never progressed. And it's because you didn't want to have the tough conversations that I needed to make me a better employee. You have some serious women-hating, non-communicating issues that need to be addressed. And hopefully this book can help.
Whoa. I feel better now. And that's why I liked this book. It helped me realize what I need to do to be a better employee and what I could have done to avoid such negative feelings towards (mostly two) my bosses.
P.S. I may just still send the last two bosses this book. With my personal notes on the inside. Obviously, if I remember these issues years later - then they were significant issues and need to be addressed.
Boss 1. Here's a great book on communication. It's okay to open up to your team and let them know you're going through a rough patch. It's also okay to pull me aside and tell me when I've done a good job, and when I'm doing an awful job. Conversely, way to go for having weekly planned out meetings were we can communicate and effectively show how much we care and want to do better at our jobs. I wish this was done with our whole team and not just managers. But props, for carrying out these meetings effectively and really always having a good positive attitude and optimistic outlook during each meeting.
Boss 2. I read this book, and couldn't help but think of you. Man, do you have some amazing managerial qualities. You took the time to have one-on-one sessions with all your direct reports EACH MONTH! You took the time to get to know each of your direct reports - not just their work qualities, but personal qualities as well. You didn't take offense when someone came to you with a complaint or were upset at you for how you "ran" things. Instead, you intently listened and tried to make the situation better. And you really showed concern for people you managed. However, you are a bully! What were you thinking when you decided to start talking about people behind their back? Do you really think it's appropriate to manipulate situations to get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. Regardless of the people you have to knock down in the way? Do you think it's funny to make fun of someone's religion, race, sexuality, and gender? Do you say crude things to your wife at home like the jokes that you tell in Team Meetings? As a manager, you are superb. But as a human being you are disgusting. Get a grip on respecting others for who they are. And just like if someone comes to you with a concern about the way you are managing, and you patiently listen and try to change, maybe it would be nice if you tried to adapt this to people's individualities. It made me sick to my stomach to remember some of the things that you would say about people "in private" or "confidence." This affected your work too much and it shows that you really have insecurities for you to say the things about others that you did. Including me, after I left. Too bad some people in life always have to have a scapegoat. You can't change everyone, but through good communication, you can improve relationships enough to motivate them to love working for you. That is why you need to read this book.
Boss 3. I have no kind words for you. When you say you're going to promote someone. You do it. And stop telling them time and time again. After hearing from you SEVEN times I would be promoted, it just got old. Be honest. Work Hard. Stop hating Women. It was cruel how women had to come ask your permission to go pump breast milk. As if you had something more important for them to do at the time. And thank heavens you said yes. How cruel to say no. Do you know what it's like to feel engorged. While you would take four thirty minute breaks throughout the day to go get sodas with "the boys." And making fun of your team for changing diapers, and taking time off work when they had a baby? Seriously, stop hating women. Start being honest. Start actually working hard. Coming in early, leaving late doesn't necessarily mean you are working hard. And you need this book to learn how to communicate. Stop telling me I am doing awesome, great, superb, haven't ever had an employee as great as me... and in my exit interview telling me everything contrary to what you said the whole time I worked for you. I was confused why i never got promoted, never got recognized, never progressed. And it's because you didn't want to have the tough conversations that I needed to make me a better employee. You have some serious women-hating, non-communicating issues that need to be addressed. And hopefully this book can help.
Whoa. I feel better now. And that's why I liked this book. It helped me realize what I need to do to be a better employee and what I could have done to avoid such negative feelings towards (mostly two) my bosses.
P.S. I may just still send the last two bosses this book. With my personal notes on the inside. Obviously, if I remember these issues years later - then they were significant issues and need to be addressed.
September 9, 2024
I read this book for my work book club. It’s a very practical guide to building candor in your workplace relationships. It includes questions to ask at the outset of new relationships - with your boss, with you direct reports, with your peers, and with your customers. It also includes an eight step feedback formula to help share feedback (positive or negative) with anyone you work with. I enjoyed how actionable the advice is, and I will for sure be putting some of it into practice.
February 2, 2024
I appreciate the ease at which you can consume the material. It is well written and reads quickly. The topic is a tough one all around. There are a lot of things that you could take away. I think it would be good to come back to this book and review some of the summaries to brush up on highlights.
February 25, 2021
This book has a little bit of everything in it when it comes to communication. It is geared towards to business relationships, but you could apply these principles to negotiating, personal friendships, talking with family members, etc.
There are plenty of examples on how to become bolder and build relationships with others. Some of the concepts may sound simplistic but being bold and executing is where "the rubber meets the road".
It is a short enough book that it doesn't overstay its purpose but short enough that you could easily go back and reference certain situations. I firmly believe applying the principles from this book will build stronger relationships with others.
There are plenty of examples on how to become bolder and build relationships with others. Some of the concepts may sound simplistic but being bold and executing is where "the rubber meets the road".
It is a short enough book that it doesn't overstay its purpose but short enough that you could easily go back and reference certain situations. I firmly believe applying the principles from this book will build stronger relationships with others.
October 25, 2018
Many times we don’t communicate honestly because we are afraid of what people will say or we are concerned with how people will react. That is why most people don’t know what others really think of them and their contributions. A good practice is to begin every business relationship by inviting the exchange of truthful opinions with respect to the task at hand.
Another good practice is to specify how you would like to interact with other people before the difficulty comes up. Also, don’t guess at people’s reactions. Encourage them to express their thoughts and frustrations.
Another good practice is to specify how you would like to interact with other people before the difficulty comes up. Also, don’t guess at people’s reactions. Encourage them to express their thoughts and frustrations.
August 6, 2018
A solid plan for a difficult task
One of this books strongest features is proving guidance on how to establish candid communications within business relationships already established. The author lays out an achievable set of norms that anyone can reasonably integrate into their business interactions.
One of this books strongest features is proving guidance on how to establish candid communications within business relationships already established. The author lays out an achievable set of norms that anyone can reasonably integrate into their business interactions.
April 29, 2019
There's some really useful tips in this book for people looking to better their career. Bits were repeated but the points made by Shari Hurley were clear and concise. It aids you to build healthy working relationships with colleagues and to beat the status quo of not wanting to deal with those awkward colleagues. Definitely worth a read.
February 6, 2024
This was a really great book. It was recommended to me by a coworker and I would definitely recommend it! We all struggle with giving and receiving feedback and this book lays out ways to do both of those things in an easy to understand and digestible way. I would recommend this to anyone in a leadership position or who desires to be in a leadership position in the future!
March 11, 2024
Really good for working in the professional world. Even some bits apply to everyday relationships. Some of her views/suggestions are a bit idealistic, but could be modified to be more human / less robotic. I started applying some of these principles at work last year (before reading the book) and have seen positive results already.
May 19, 2017
Excellent book on how to communicate with others and and the importance of interpersonal awareness. I found some of the advice a bit unrealistic, but nevertheless, I appreciated the emphasis on candor. A powerful read.
August 16, 2018
Loved this book!
I believe this book contains the information and tools to become a better leader, coworker, or employee. A must read for any aspiring supervisor, manager, or director.
I believe this book contains the information and tools to become a better leader, coworker, or employee. A must read for any aspiring supervisor, manager, or director.
April 29, 2020
Great for all business professionals looking to improve their communication skills. This book is straightforward and addresses some pressing issues in a candid way. Many of the concepts can be applied to any relationship.
May 1, 2020
Very pragmatic and insightful lessons are presented here. Highly recommend for anyone in a business relationship (so everyone). Plan on reaching out the author to do on site training with my department. Quick and easy read so that would earn a 6th star. TY Mia for the suggestion.
January 1, 2023
I’ve seen Shari speak at a number of conferences and always walk away with so many instant takeaways. I was excited to read her book. I love her models, practical steps, humor and…. It’s hard to argue with anything she says. Great read!
April 8, 2023
I really enjoyed this. A short read, a lot of reminders ,and some great tips/thoughts for when you have to have tough conversations. Mostly applies to work, but it's good for personal relationships as well. I recommend her TedTalks as well.
December 29, 2018
A practical book. Fast read. Would recommend extracting the ‘steps’ from the book for easy reference and access in your workplace.
March 23, 2019
Didn’t tell me anything that life experience hasn’t
June 3, 2019
A few good ideas but poorly written.
October 11, 2020
Practical guide and step-by-step examples for having every kind of challenging conversation.
February 24, 2021
This book gives practical and applicable advice for how to get the most out of your relationships at work and how to have candid and effective conversations.
June 9, 2021
really loved the step by step guidance this author provided. Will apply it asap!
October 4, 2021
Just an extended version of her keynote on the same topic. Little of the material is new or useful. Skip the book and watch her video.
December 27, 2021
Would be great to see an updated version that centers anti-racist, inclusion, diversity, equity, and access.
January 21, 2023
Outdated. Didn’t finish
March 21, 2023
Easy read, uses every day life to give proper examples of how to be able to talk to people that can be used in the work place or at home.
September 17, 2024
Fantastic little book
April 10, 2025
Pretty good. Took lots insightful notes
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews