Suicide: The Forever Decision

by Paul G. Quinnett

Suicide - The Forever Decision is for those thinking about suicide, and for those who know, love, or counsel them, this book discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Psychiatry, Counselling, Death

133 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1987

Reviews

[Susie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It felt as though the author was talking "at" his audience rather than to them, and taking into account that this book was intended for those who might be considering suicide, that seems like a mishap waiting to happen. Quinnet glances over suicide as a whole and does his best to "persuade" (from his own QPR method- which he surprisingly enough, does not mention) his audience to postpone any attempt at suicide. For those who have little to no knowledge of suicide, depression, and the myriad of side effects, causes, and solutions that fall in between, this book can unlock the door to understanding.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who has a more complete or well formed knowledge of the issues.

Call it a "gateway book" for those struggling and who have no understanding of their own unique problems.

[Nezzle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is targeted to persons who are considering or planning to commit suicide. However, as someone who works with persons who often consider suicide, I thought it would be a helpful read. It was. Quinnett made some very good points which I believe will be (and has been) helpful to many.

However, while I believe it is a good book which can be helpful to those considering suicide, I found it a bit too long (though it's actually quite short) and repetitive at times. I believe that if I were suicidal, I wouldn't have the patience to read this to completion. Additionally, there were a few too many grammatical errors for my taste. It could have been better edited.

Despite this, I recommend this book because the points are relevant and can be helpful if persons are indecisive about their desire to commit suicide and/or hopeful that they can find a better way to solve their problems.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wouldn't recommend this book as light weekend reading. It's very specifically targeted to those considering suicide, those supporting a suicidal individual, or someone who works in mental health. If that's you, please read this book. While it can be dry and repetitive, Quinnett is an expert in the field who doesn't sugarcoat the subject. My favorite take away was instead of thinking "life's a bitch and then you die," to think of it as "life is a picnic and sometimes there are ants." Sometimes life is hard, so hard we don't think we can move through it. But we can. He also writes about trying to run with the soles of tour shoes nailed to the ground. You can't, you get tired, you get frustrated, and you want to give up. But we're so mired in the fight we don't think to untie the shoes and walk off in another direction. I love that Quinnett inspires hope without being unrealistically upbeat.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of things I disagreed with in this book. Some were philisophical "agree to disagree" bits, others were moral or otherwise hampered what would have otherwise been a very meaningful book to me. For example, this book is not very compassionate to psychotic people who choose to end their own lives, making the classic "you're not crazy like them" distinction. It leaves the real question hanging: well, what if you are like them? If someone reading this book isn't able to make that distinction, can't put themselves above the "crazy" crowd with their full chest, I'd imagine this book would turn them away at the introductory chapter, even if the rest of its contents would have helped them immensely.

That aside, this book is both very dated and not. The basic fundamentals of life and death certainly haven't changed since 1987, and a surprising amount of what it touches on still makes sense in today's world. On the other hand, it makes a lot of basic assumptions about the reader, what they want out of life, and the world around them that serve as a kind of kick in the head-- "oh right, what was I expecting, this book came out in the 80s". Much of the book was written in a kind of paternalistic way where, if I really was in the difficult state of mind this book presumes you're in while reading it, it would have been frustrating and not very helpful at all.

I also had more minor gripes with how it portrayed the interests of healthcare professionals and forced institutionalization. In my experience, when it comes to people wanting to end their lives, the interests are far less altruistic and more in the vein of "we really do not want to face legal action". That's just how it is.

I still appreciate books that talk about suicide in as no-nonsense a manner as this, even if I was mentally going "absolutely not!" every few paragraphs. It helped me gain a broader understanding of the topic without going on too many "by the way, suicide is evil and should be prevented at all costs like the prime directive" tangents until the last few chapters. There were a few choice passages that deeply affected me and that I could apply to my own experiences. If nothing else, this book stuck with me enough to make me have to get this rant out of my system. So.

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as part of an online course in suicide prevention. While I've never been suicidal myself, it did help me to start to see into and understand the way that people think when they've begun to think about ending their own lives.

At first, the author's frankness and directness caught me off-guard as something that seemed a bit harsh for people that are likely dealing with serious depression, but in the end, I think that making things unquestionably clear is more likely to build a secure framework that can create a sense of security for suicidal people.

[Maryna Ponomaryova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Найбільш no-nonsense книга по самодопомозі, яку я читала. Автор наводить тезу, що ми завжди думаємо, що приймаємо найкраще для себе рішення. Але часто, коли ми приймаємо рішення, яке потім виявляється не правильним, проблема полягає в тому, що ми не проінформовані про всі можливі нюанси, аргументи за і проти рішення, і ми не бачимо чіткої картини і наслідків рішення (особливо, якщо ми страждаємо на депресивні стани, які грають злі жарти з нашим розумом). В цій книзі автор інформує нас про можливі причини, наслідки і тд повʼязані з суїцидом в дуже простій і прямій манері. Можливо, деякі речі трохи застарілі, адже написана у 80х, але загалом книга прибирає туман і спрямована на логічну і дієву допомогу. Корисна для людей з суїцидальними думками / спробами суїциду (але зауважу, що на мою думку і звісно у кожного свій досвід, у мене наразі немає суїцидальних думок, тому не знаю який вплив матиме на таких людей). Але ось точно корисна для тих, хто хоче їх зрозуміти і допомогти.

Книга у вільному доступі:
https://qprinstitute.com/pdfs/Forever...

[Rachel Contri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great overview of logic that can be employed when counseling suicidal people. Most useful arguments were: adapting a longer time horizon, "bug in the cup" (perspective), engaging in more complex thoughts/adapting a life philosophy, and suicide's lack of efficacy in solving interpersonal problems.

Not a great read for those in immediate danger of committing suicide, contrary to the author's suggestions. More effective crisis counseling would likely be more formulaic and safety-oriented, and less theoretical and logic-based.

Overall, I left this book excited to learn more about the cognitive and emotional sources of suicidal ideation, plans, and actions, ethics of suicide, clinical classifications of suicide, state-mandated treatment plans for those surviving suicide attempts, and counseling techniques. Randomly, the short chapter on anger also piqued my interest on behavioral interventions for anger.

[Vinayak Tyagi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a 'tough love' kind of book. So obviously this is not the book for people at the verge of suicide but for those who have just started falling into the trap of suicidal thinking, or for the caregivers.
The books at least initially sort of jolts one, but then it has a very practical approach towards ending one's life or what author calls an 'ultimate' solution for a short term problem.

[Saghi Naghizadeh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am extremely grateful that I read this book. I particularly appreciate how Dr. Quinnett seamlessly incorporates his QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) method throughout the text, without explicitly referencing it. Not only was I deeply impressed by the content presented, but I also valued the book’s clear and concise approach. The information shared will undoubtedly prove invaluable to anyone seeking to dissuade someone from contemplating suicide.

However, I would recommend reading this book when in a relatively stable mental state, as it may be difficult to fully absorb and comprehend if one is already experiencing suicidal thoughts or in crisis. Consequently, I would highly suggest this book to anyone who may be supporting a friend or loved one who is considering suicide. On a personal level, it has been immensely helpful in guiding me on how to respond when someone reaches out and expresses suicidal thoughts. I also appreciate how the book is organized into distinct sections, allowing readers to focus on the most relevant material based on their specific circumstances.

[Shawna Seybold · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh my god. Just no.

So pretty much, what shocked and genuinely worried me that this man is teaching this was this:

"There is a story about a man who jumped into a river to kill himself but failed. While he was bobbing along in the current a police officer threw him a rope so that he could save himself. The man refused to take the rope. The officer then pulled his pistol and aimed it at the man, threatening to shoot him. The man, faced with a more certain death and the true negativity of it, grabbed the rope."

And we're going to root for the OFFICER in this parable? Huh?? He committed a CRIME against someone and we're going to just ignore that because "lalala he stopped him from killing himself, so he must be the good guy!!"

Um.. no?!

As someone who has attempted suicide MYSELF, you don't react negatively to it. Also, you don't imply that suicide is negative in itself because news flash: there's enough stigma as it is around it.

I overheard a nurse in a hospital, during my first attempt mind you, grumbling about there "being another one." As in, another SI case.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this and another Paul G. Quinnett book ("Counseling Suicidal People: A Therapy of Hope) when completing QPR Gatekeeper training for my job. Written with the intention to speaking directly to someone who is actively suicidal, I thought it was interesting that the author didn't mention his own QPR methods, though they may have been developed after this book was published. Overall, I can understand why people have found this to be helpful. It's strikingly honest and brunt about suicide. Given that it was written most 40 years ago, there are many outdated references, phrases, and wording used frequently throughout the book. However, I can appreciate the author's attempt to level with a suicidal person and to try to invoke more questions than answers about many different aspects of and effects from suicide. By making the reader think about things they may have never considered, he hopes to stir some doubt and, in turn, change their minds about dying by suicide.

[Clara]

This definitely wasn't a light read, but it was an interesting read during Mental Health Awareness Month. As Quinnett writes in the introductory chapter: "One of the reasons I have written this book is that suicide is an unpleasant topic. People do not like to talk about it. They do not like to hear that another human being is so troubled that he is considering self-destruction. But this silence is not good for us." Out of everything in the book, one of the pieces of advice that has stuck with me is this advice he shares from his mother: "No matter what else you have to do in a day, always accomplish something before breakfast."

[Özlem · Rating 1 out of 5]

As someone who has spent more of her life suicidal than not, I've found the first 16% of this book entirely unhelpful. If someone saw me contemplating death and responded by telling me about how most religions view suicide as a sin, I'd throw this book at them. I'm half disappointed and half surprised by all the mentally healthy people who found this book helpful. DNF. If you can't make the first chapters of your suicide prevention book helpful enough, what good are you? I didn't mind the casual language and approach too much until that point, but my patience at the moment is too limited for this kind of waste.

[Steven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read as part of Question Persuade Refer (QPR) training. All of the reasons offered by Doctor Quinnett for staying alive are emotionally and logically packed. This is a good read for counselors, clergy and other non professionals who find themselves in conversations with the suicidal.

But, the book desperately needs an update after the second edition only a few years old was published in 1992. References like "borrowing a TV Guide" or "the call will only cost you a quarter" make the material tell quaint.

[Elle Jayne · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars - The cover says this book is for those thinking about suicide and for those who know, love, and counsel them. Although this book had solid insights and perspectives, it unfortunately lacked advice for those who know, love, and counsel those who are thinking about suicide. The whole book talked to the reader as if you are the one thinking about suicide, which is why the cover is unfortunately misleading.

If you are interested in the history and philosophies against suicide I would recommend Stay: A History of Suicide and the Philosophies Against It by Jennifer Michael Hecht.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have recently received a collateral duty at work to be someone who can help those who are potentially suicidal. This book was given at the end of my online learning in order to be more informed, & to share to those who may be suicidal. I learned a lot by reading this, and gained a new insight. This is a very short read (100 pages), and very informative. I highly recommend if you are someone who want to help others in a suicidal situation.

[Jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it very beneficial reading it from the standpoint of a case manager. I do think it would be beneficial to give someone who was battling suicidal thoughts though maybe not a person in direct crisis. The testimonials at the end of the book show that it has helped many people reexamine their thinking that has brought them to this place.

[Sarah Twist · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a therapist rather than a suicidal person and found it helpful. The commentary about hopelessness and becoming less hopeless in particular were very good to me.
very accessible and easy to read. Honest and frank book about suicide.
Not an instant recommend to all, but a very good book and very well written

[Elmax · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 20%
"so most people who kill themselves are freaks, but don't worry, reader who picked this book because you want to die, you're not like these freaks" no, no, i am one of these freaks 😬👍
This book is for the recreational suicidal and the abled with no outlook on life and disability, mental or otherwise.

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life Saving

A wonderful book on how to save a life, your life if you're considering or have considered suicide. It won't heal you or fix you but it can pause the narrative in your head that death is the only answer.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book requires a much needed update. I had trouble getting past phrases like “committed suicide” and “self-mutter”. However, if it saves someone’s life then it’s worth it’s weight in gold. Hoping this book helps someone somewhere.

[Eilema · Rating 2 out of 5]

désolée mec t'as l'air vachement sympa mais j'ai fait une fixette sur quand tu décris le physique des jeunes filles en disant si elles sont jolies ou non ahahaha ^^ mais c'est sans doute mon côté hater névrosée donc je te pardonne

[Emily Mouyard]

The worst! I received it in some training curriculum and read it because the author is well known on the topic. This book is so outdated and the tone is stigmatizing and condescending in my opinion.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

First brutally honest and frank book I’ve read on the topic. Very appreciated

[Luiz P. Brüggemann · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a very important book for those who are feeling suicidal and for those who want to help suicidal people.

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

A somewhat disappointing read, the language at times felt frivolous for such a important topic.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book needs an update!

[Sunrise Abram · Rating 5 out of 5]

"While into every life a little rain must fall, sometimes you get a hurricane."

[Inna · Rating 5 out of 5]

unironically saved my life (:

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book to read if you just need to get by / hold on to whatever you have left