The Sex Myth: Why Everything We're Told is Wrong

by Brooke Magnanti

Is there any truth to the epidemic of sex addiction? Are our children really getting sexualised younger? Are men the only ones who like porn? Brooke Magnanti looks at all these questions and more - and proves that perhaps we've all been taking the answers for granted.

Brooke Magnanti is no stranger to controversy. As Belle de Jour she enthralled and outraged the nation in equal measure. Now her real identity is out in the open, Brooke's background as a scientist and a researcher can come to bear in her fascinating investigation into the truth behind the headlines, scandals and moral outrage that fill the media (and our minds) when it comes to sex.

Using her entertaining and informed voice, Brooke strips away the hype and looks at the science behind sex and the panic behind public policy.

Unlike so many media column inches, Brooke uses verifiable academic research. This is fact, not fiction; science not supposition.

So sit back, open your mind and prepare to be shocked...

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Sexuality, Sex Work, Psychology, Politics, Science

269 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2012

About the author

Brooke Magnanti is a forensic scientist and writer, who, until her identity was revealed in November 2009, was known by the pen name Belle de Jour.

While completing her doctoral thesis, in 2003 and 2004, Magnanti worked as a call girl. Her diary, published as the anonymous blog Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl became popular, as speculation surrounded the identity of Belle de Jour. Magnanti went on to The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl in 2005 and The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl in 2006. These were followed by Playing the Game, Belle de Jour's Guide to Men, and Belle's Best Bits.

In 2007, the books were adapted for TV as Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring Billie Piper. In November 2009, fearing her real identity was about to come out, Magnanti revealed her real name and occupation as a scientist. Her first book published under her real name was the non-fiction The Sex Myth in 2012.

Magnanti's first crime novel, The Turning Tide, will be published by Orion in 2016.

Reviews

[Ceilidh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between 3.5 and 4 stars.

An easy to read dissection of the myths, tricks and perceptions that permeate the media's portrayal of sex issues such as prostitution, sex addiction, pornography and the sexualisation of young people. The book I'd most compare it to is Ben Goldacre's Bad Science, in that it shows you the techniques most often used to spin a story out of proportion - dodgy statistics, eye grabbing headlines, emotion over fact, etc - and how to combat them. Magnanti emphasises the common desire for people to reach for morality over facts, which I think is an important thing to remember. Some of it feels a bit slight, and there are areas here Magnanti could have written entire books about, but what is here is worth your time. I'm disappointed that the conclusion reads more like a settling of scores, as Magnanti goes after several feminist writers of the past 15 years or so, somewhat contradicting her own previous statements - women shouldn't support other women's heinous behaviour just because they're women (the example Magnanti uses is Michele Bachmann, and I entirely agree), but criticising women for potentially problematic and over-sexualised actions is anti-feminist? (She is right on some of Ariel Levy's slut-shaming choice of phrases, and I'm disappointed in myself for not picking up on them when I read the book). Magnanti tends to generalise all feminists by the occasionally bonkers and all too wrong radical wing, and while I do think such problems should be called out (comparing transgender women to rape, anyone?), it feels odd to shove them all in the same basket. Insinuating that radical feminism encapsulates several generations of evolving feminism feels like saying the Westboro Baptist Church represents all of Christianity (also, please don't shove Julie Burchill in with feminism. That woman is racist and pretty evil). Magnanti was treated pretty shoddily by many in the media who proclaim themselves to be feminists after she was revealed to be Belle de Jour, and that was very unfair to her (I'm a feminist who thinks prostitution should be fully legalised, regulated and taxed), but if she has grudges to air out, she should do it in a blog post. It's definitely a worthwhile read if you can pick up a copy, so give it a go if you're interested.

[Antonomasia]

It's not as good as it could be, but I'm glad this book exists - it's a necessary foil to fifty shades of puritanism, and helps spread the Gospel According to Goldacre about reporters' and politicians' lazy use of statistics.

The public sphere is saturated with lazy, poorly evidenced "research" about negative effects of sexual behaviour and sexual content in the media: campaigns against lapdancing clubs, sex-trafficking stats inflated to zeppelin proportions, government reports on the sexualisation of children (with the exception of the Scottish Executive's effort, which still emerges respectable) - and the former Belle de Jour cuts them all down to size.

Along the way there are more than a few disappointments. Magnanti has nary a good word to say about the lumpenproletariat category "feminists", which doesn't endear her to a typical female reader; we learn only in the concluding chapter that she seceded from "feminism" because various women journalists harried her when she was outed as Belle de Jour. But in her railing at the likes of Julie Bindel and voluntary-sector women's groups with ideology as rigid as a pair of denim dungarees left overnight on the washing line in December, she has forgotten about the existence of sex-positive feminists. Erm, hello?! We're not all still concussed and immobile from banging our heads against the brick wall that is the Mumsnet Feminism board, you know. And this is rather the sort of book we've been hoping would appear.

Sadly sometimes she's hoist by her own black-lace-covered petard in supporting her argument with very small studies or the implications of personal experiences - but there is pleasingly meticulous deconstruction of the fallacious association between strip clubs and rapes, and of the instance of the trafficking of foreign sex workers in Britain, that thoroughly proves the worth of this book.

She skims other issues to the extent that it started to look suspiciously like ignorance.

Her discussion of porn is based mostly around statistics and the financial rewards to the actors. The number of academic studies of porn appears to be pretty small, and those that exist give the impression of only looking at an even more limited selection of films on offer. But really I don't think there is one conclusion to be drawn about porn except its variety. There are female directors and stars unquestionably in control of their work; and at the other extreme there are a few truly abusive scenarios occurring [I have a link to a referenced blog post but it may not be suitable to post here.] And the cliche she describes of the ignored, low-paid male star of straight porn is starting to be contradicted by the cult of James Deen and other new actors who appeal to female viewers. Whilst Magnanti rightly condemns Gail Dines for using only a literary and cultural analysis of the content of porn, she shows herself as comfortable only on the science side of C.P. Snow's two cultures, not even addressing the elementary concept of the "male gaze".

Her knowledge of psychology is depressingly superficial: she does not even mention the attachment issues commonly thought to underly "sex addiction", and there is no analysis of the complex issues (such as repetition compulsion) around a study of sex workers and PTSD which is later mentioned and thus discussion seems to miss the point entirely. Yet when other potential diagnoses for "sex addicts" are mentioned, Magnanti indulges in conventional, dismissive pathologising which is disappointing and frankly a little ignorant from someone who has experience of identifying with marginalised groups. (For the record, I tend to think that whilst attachment issues and trauma may often lie behind such things - though I can cite no quantitative studies off hand - they're just one background explanation, not a denigrating judgement, as I consider people's choices to be valid and worthy of respect regardless of whether we think they are motivated by some sort of damage.)

I would have liked to have seen greater self-awareness of her own perspective: has she considered whether her experiences influence in her selection of evidence, for instance?
[For purposes of mildly scandalous disclosure ... I once spent a couple of months as a chatline operator, in the most, er, hands-off area of the sex industry, and considered it neither reprehensible nor amazing. I stopped because after the novelty value wore off, I hated not being able to pick and choose whom I spoke to; I decided to leave when I realised I may soon reach the point where I would be rude and hang up on a caller. So as usual, I can see both sides - and think that we should be able to acknowledge that there are negative aspects for some people, without that interfering with wanting free, legal choice for adults to take part - or not - in the sex trade as they see fit. ]

Since the age of 19 I've been intermittently frustrated at not having written my own lengthy and widely-publicised feminist polemic / study, and in this lengthy expounding of the books' faults, I'm just taking it out on yet another blameless author. So don't get me wrong, The Sex Myth is a valuable book. It needs to be read by journalists just as Bad Science is. It needs to be used in public debates about strip club licensing and the influence of porn on teenagers. But I hope someone else will come along and build an even better analysis on its foundations.

[Ooh, this review annoys me: too many flourishes that fall flat on their faces. It needs editing at some point.]

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a reader of her blog and newspaper columns I knew this book was going to be preaching to the converted. If you’re after a well researched analysis of sexual topics popular in the media like sex addiction, the demonization of pornography, people trafficking, prostitution and the sexualisation of children, then this is a very, very good starting point. She deconstructs a lot of myths surrounding sex and gives good advice about what to look for in news articles about it so you can determine how factually accurate the claims of the reporting are.

On the downside, the scientist in me found her arguments a bit loose in places, a bit lacking in evidence in places, and there was quite a bit of point scoring against some of her adversaries. This was probably a conscious decision to make the book a more informal discussion about sex, so that it could appeal to a larger audience. I guess it just got a little waffle-y in places for me.

Social liberals and conservatives would both do well to take a leaf from this book.

[Monika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book introduced me to many ideas and issues I had no clue about but most importantly this book is a lesson in finding out how many people don't do their research right. It's easy to make up statistics and post them online, it's harder for everybody else to do investigate on their own and find out that the statistic is false. This is why we need more book like The Sex Myths. I recommend this book to anybody interested and I recommend it as a starting guide as I will read much more into topics Magnanti talked about in her book.

[Alex Sarll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone concerned about the creeping encroachment of neo-Puritanism should read this. Anyone not so concerned should read this, that they might become so. And anyone who's part of the creeping encroachment of neo-Puritanism should be compelled to read it over and over again for as long as it takes to admit that they are wrong, and they're very sorry.

[Debra Komar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me think about sex and sexual politics in a completely different way. I love Brooke's writing and she isn't the least bit afraid to say anything.

[Dave Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the most part, a very enlightening – and engagingly-written – look at the more scientifically verifiable data behind sex-related topics that generate a lot of ideology-driven lobbying and policymaking. One star off for getting a bit settling-scores-y in the latter sections, and for a few typos, but nothing enough to spoil the overall theme. I was going to make a comparison with Ben Goldacre's “Bad Science”, but I see several others have already made that link: Dr Magnanti applies the same sort of “well, let's just put the emotive talk aside and look at the data properly” approach to topics such as the effects of pornography (consumption thereof and participation therein) and sex work (the motivations for, the possible levels of trafficking for) that Dr Goldacre did for healthcare and nutrition scare-stories.
An interesting six-degrees-of-separation moment for me to see, in the acknowledgements list at the back, the very distinctive name of someone I used to deal regularly with in relation to publications on a wholly different topic!

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good information, appears to be properly researched, is well-intentioned and makes some decent arguments but puts too fine a redundant point on just about everything and too often reads like a personal attack on specific people/groups - a bit like a lively discussion with a highly educated friend that stopped being fun an hour ago.

[Georgia Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book disagrees and calls out three books I love in its conclusion- The Equality Illusion, Female Chauvinist Pigs and Living Dolls. Those books are all amazing, but you know what, this one was too. It debunks a wide variety of sex myths and informs without apology. It educates without being unreasonably explicit and it’s thoroughly interesting. Sex is a riveting subject I’m sure everyone of a certain age is somewhat invested in, but it’s something there are a lot of rumours and misconceptions about still. This book shatters all of those bubbles and comes through with facts that are well backed up and explained. It’s smart without being unreadable. It has made me think about lots of things and maybe question my standpoint on a few subjects as a woman who is feminist and also sex positive - 2 things that can often conflate with each other. This book is smart and fascinating and I couldn’t put it down. If you’re unsure about matters of sex or just interested in knowing more about it or a feminist who struggles with being a sexual being simultaneously, read this!

[Roger · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important book, well written.
A lecture about scientific work and thinking is thrown in for free. That alone would justify buying the book.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If we accept that rape is a crime about power, not sex per se, then we must also expect that a member of any sex or gender could be a victim… or a perpetrator.”

[Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting collection of essays that underlines that the social taboos we tend not to talk about end up becoming those we are most ignorant of. Even if the topics don’t interest you (but let’s face it they do!) it’s worth reading to show how numbers and statistics are frequently misused to make poor arguments sound more credible. Magnanti cut her teeth with her Call Girl diaries a while ago, but has found better form in some exceeding sharp writing about the way in which social science frequently falls apart on the “science” side and is often misreported in the media to suit a cause, political agenda or financial opportunity. Using her background in epidemiology and big data she strips down so say “leading studies” failing to use appropriate methodology in studies on sexual behaviour, sex work and adult entertainment. It’s an interesting study of how “Cargo cult” science takes place: control populations are not used, correlation becomes causation, confounders are not eliminated, irrelevant data is used, small samples overweighted, anecdotal evidence is valued over hard data and context is ignored. “Texas sharp shooting” – finding data that exclusively correlates to your theory is also heavily in evidence. Think of it as Bad Science for sex policy. She makes a strong case for evidence and reason over knee-jerk emotional response.

There are ten essays on topics surrounding media moral panics amongst them sex addiction, sexualisation of youth, increased availability of adult content on the Internet, sex trafficking, criminalisation of sex work and the effects of pornography. Bullshit is appropriately called on most of them. There are also some great historical parallels – Larkin’s line about 1963 aside – sex is as old as the species, as are panics, ignorance and changing social values. J Kellogg (he of the breakfast cereal) believed that things like rich food and reading novels could lead to nymphomania – Corn Flakes are that bland for a reason! She make a fascinating parallel with celebrity tales of sex addiction and a pseudo science of bad decision making being equated with addiction and disease. There’s some interesting stuff comparing the rights of prostitutes during the American gold rush and those of today – sex workers held property rights at a time most women in the 19th century could not. Would the graphic nature of classical myths common to the Greco-roman worlds be viewed as moral damaging today?

In many ways the essays underline our own peculiar sexism and genderism in sex policy. Thus pornography is seen is misogynistic and blamed for domestic violence – but we ignore same sex couple violence statistics. Sex workers are seen as “fallen women”, thus victims and their voices invalid while male and transsexual sex workers barely considered. We are keen to view male and female sexuality as fundamentally different - but the evidence seems to suggest that is not the case, it may say far more about our social conditioning.

One might expect a Christian right think tank, a pharmaceutical company peddling female viagra or a celebrity psychologist to pedal poor quality research to support their own agenda, but it's more disturbing when it's done by groups with seemingly noble aims. Thus old school feminism, slow to embrace concepts like intersectionality, end up driving anti sex worker legislation that oppresses women. What's truly astounding is that this data crawls its way into government consultations: the 2011 coalition report on sexualisation, "Letting Children Be Children" comes across as a shambles - no original research, chaired by the head of the Christian Mother Union, adult studies used to draw conclusions about children and at no point is a proper attempt made to define the term "sexualisation". An important read.

[Book Reviews & Promotion · Rating 4 out of 5]

You'll agree that we are living in a time of sexual liberation.And if you weren't taking advantage of ithat liberty ,you are missing it out May be there WAS something missing in u.If you felt that way, you warent alone.
What excite me about this book- more than the fascinating snapshot of a generation or the intellectual precision of Richale's arguments is the great sense of relief.
Flirting,dating, and sex will always cause anxiety.
We live in culture that teaches us sex is the most important facet of who we are.
wE all try to dress neatly, look presentable , so that we look attractive .
Sex is an act bound up in the body,but the way that each of us experiences it is driven by more then just biology.Sex is not just physical, but it is symbolic.
Even the ancient Greeks, regularly praised for their open-minded approach to carnal matters, operated within a complex & contradictory code of sexual ethics, in which sexual relationships between boys & men were treated as a rite of passage into adulthood ,but it was considered demeaning for a man to be penetrated by a man of the same age & social status.
I would lyk to give 4 stars to this book.

[Chelsea Campbino · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book for exposing motives behind human trafficking organizations

mostly this a book about the people behind statistics and the bias they can include when making reports that inform policy. it covers topics like the sexualization of children, porn, strip clubs and prostitution. there is a ton of information offered here so it would be best to read this slowly while reading a novel or something at the same time so that you can critically consume the information instead of sort of letting it tidal wave over you like i did.

sometimes it felt like dr. Magnatti took part in that which she accuses others of doing, esp w regard to having an opinion before doing the research, however bc sex work is so heavily demonized by both conservatives and feminists (for different reasons, but as per her argument, resulting in policy that endangers the lives of sex workers regardless of intention), it's a balm to weird human sex panic

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not as saucy as it sounds, and certainly not the brand of risque we've come to associate with Dr. Magnanti's nom-de-plume "Belle De Jour", but a different kind of risque that, armed with facts and figures, challenges social convention and ideas driven by political slant and celebrity endorsement. "The Sex Myth" is a deeply interesting statistical analysis of some of the most pervasive notions regarding human sexual behavior, sexuality, sex work, and sexual politics. Dr. Magnanti makes easy reading of observational studies.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Discussions about the sex industry and its associated problems, real or imagined, rarely feature the voices of the sex workers themselves, so it's refreshing to hear from someone with real life experience of what goes on. Added to that, Dr Magnanti's scientific training enables her to cut through the dubious studies sometimes used as evidence to drive government policy and steer public opinion. You may not agree with her conclusions, but whatever your position, if you want a complete view of the debate over sex, sexuality and sex work, you should read this book.

[Simon Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly interesting book with loads and loads of references and good arguments. It's certainly a book that will permanently affect your view of at least one or two aspects of the sex industry, trafficking and all that stuff.
The conclusion diverts from the main gist of the book to put the boot into a certain type of feminism which I too can't abide. This chapter was particularly enjoyable but for different reasons to the rest of the book.

[Josien De Bie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most entertaining and insightful books I've read, possibly ever. Incredibly well-researched and well-referenced. As a neuroscientist who gets annoyed at pseudoscience a lot, it is refreshing to see that there are intelligent entertaining writers out there that actually work on scientific principle. Bravo.

[Aimee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Academic non fiction text, but in the style that we've come to expect from the Belle de Jour author. Makes the facts much easier to digest. Thought provoking, interesting read

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like a well researched and referenced text and this was a goos example. A wry storytelling stylr fits well with the information she uses to support her points. A very interesting read.

[Amy Halewood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very well written and well researched. Great if you want to learn how to critically appraise research that is manipulated and/or just poor quality. Possibly a bit too long and slightly repetitive.

[Leni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has given me a lot of serious thoughts about (my view on) pornography and sex work in general. Which is a good thing obviously, reality resisting simplicity.

[Mj · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really did not enjoy this book. The best part about reading this book, was throwing it against the wall when i finally finished it. I hope the book left a mark on my now ex bfs wall.