…where love, care and attention from men are normal and relied upon—and a way of life available for every woman. Do you have to sell your soul? Not even close.
This book can be your guide, an unexpected friend, even a prophecy for your future. Funny, information-packed text, illustrative charts and enlightening side-bars will deliver priceless insights into men, their motivations and their inspirations.
Making Sense of Men will teach you: * Why men pursue some women for sex and others for heart-felt relationships * How to tell when a man is emotionally involved * How to inspire generosity and attentiveness in all men * How you can be strong and successful—without discouraging men * Finally the information previously available only at the live seminar is now here in print, complete with anecdotes and additional information from Alison Armstrong.
HIGHLIGHTS: 1. SINGLE-FOCUSED: - Men are single-focused. - One thing at a time. - Get frustrated if interrupted.
2. DIFFUSED AWARENESS: - Women are diffused-awareness – doing 8-10 things at once, pulled in every direction. - Get overwhelmed.
3. SELF-CONFIDENCE: – it’s irresistible. - She doesn’t need rescuing. - They can be themselves.
4. AUTHENTICITY: – being “real”. - A woman who has the courage to just put herself out there and be who she really is. - The more you lie to yourself, the more you’ll be able to do it by yourself. - Men love when we’re direct and authentic. - Men have a “b.s.” meter” that indicates manipulation and strategy. - When we are under the influence of chemistry, we become the opposite of charming and enchanted. - When she expresses her passions and he’s flooded with a sense of well-being.
5. RECEPTIVITY: - Women are ‘externally motivated”. - Highly susceptible to other people’s opinions. Greatest weakness. - Men are “internally” motivated – do not respond to external influences the way women normally do and are not affected the same way by criticism. - All men need in return is that we receive it graciously. - He needs the energy that flows back to him when his gifts are well received.
6. PASSION: - When we don’t have self-confidence, our passions go underground. - Expressing the passion that matters.
7. MEN’S MOTIVATION: - Men are not hairy misbehaving women. - Men are motivated by: Duty. Obligation. Honor.
8. GIVE-MODE: - Since he is in “give mode” he needs to know what you need and what makes you happy.
9. COMPLAINING: - Complaining kills men’s energy.
10. SEXUAL ATTRACTION: - sexual energy, sensuality, shapely body, shiny hair (fat indicates fertility). - W don’t pay enough attention to nurturing their sexual energy. - We don’t make it a priority because we haven’t known how important it is SLEEP.
Who is Alison Armstrong? Why is she popular? What does she have to offer? A good friend had praised Armstrong; I was curious. I looked around Armstrong's website, and found a few pieces of interesting and useful information -- buried in more than the usual amount of hype and teasers for her expensive seminars. Plus I watched a YouTube interview of her by Barry Kibrick on his TV show Between the Lines, in which they discussed this book, her only nonfiction printed book. (There is also a novel. Most of her work is published as CDs and DVDs of her seminars.)In the video, the reason for her popularity seemed clear: her positive attitude is infectious. It must attract many people who have felt troubled by the differences between men and women; who have been disturbed by the animosity that erupts in the War of the Sexes. As Kibrick says of Anderson's approach to the subject, "You do it with the true love and compassion you have for men." She's teaching this compassion; no wonder her students enthuse wildly about her methods.But the content of what she teaches is oversimplified. I asked my husband to look at the site; he said the stereotypes of men were insulting. I had hoped to find more substance in a book but readers' reviews for this book at Amazon keep complaining that it's just a come-on for her seminars. I am not going to bother reading it.
I have her other book "The Queens Code", but this shorter booklet was perfect for me because I felt like it took most of the information that is in TQC and condensed it so that it was shorter, straight-to-the-point, and easier to read.
I found myself not able to put it down!
I definitely learned more about men in this short booklet, than I have in about 80% of the relationship books I've read....and I've read a LOT lol.
Overall, really well-written. I see men in a totally new light now, thanks to Alison Armstrong. Really enjoyed reading this. It also opened my eyes to just how DIFFERENT men and women are in their thinking and how they view things.
Very helpful booklet. Definitely recommend to anyone in a relationship, wanting to be in a relationship, or just in general.
I find myself now having a softer view of men in general, and just trying to respect them more for their differences instead of being frustrated. I also feel more "connected" to men in general, because now I realize that they may have a "good reason" for the things that they do, and not everything is a personal offense against me. Definitely a book I feel EVERY woman should read...whether wanting to be in a relationship with a man or not.
I LOVED it.
I can't wait to finish reading "The Queen's Code" now. :)
This book needed to be four times as long as it is to fully explain and encompass all the information it hints at. I wanted a full MENglish dictionary, more explanation as to the priorities and thought-processes of men, and a hefty section on HOW to achieve the individual components that comprise the Princess Grace gene. As it stands, it's a provocative and compelling read that I could not put down (actually standing with the book in one hand and stirring the dinner with the other) until I finished it. Alison Armstrong is in the process of writing another book on the subject "The Queen's Code" which I am eagerly anticipating. I think this book is best read as an introduction to a man's perspective. It gives a great primer on the usual places where men and women conflict and highlights the four "secrets" to engaging a man's attention in the most positive and permanent way. There is nothing condescending, dishonest, or complicated in these pages, just straightforward and affectionate information designed to help women not only understand but appreciate the unique qualities men possess. It could be titled "How to Bring out the Best in Your Man Without Changing Him in Any Way."
I read this book after watching a podcast of the author. I was curious about what she wrote. It is a superficial book based on the author’s personal experience and “research”. I have a lot of issues with the information like this being put out there as well as how it is presented.
First of all, I have a problem with the concept of women needing to “fix” themselves for men. She suggests that the reason why most women fail in relationships with men is because of their own behaviors. Which is a very shallow approach to relationships. Overall, she advices women to be more self confident, authentic and compassionate to their partners. Which I believe is the bare minimum of what EVERYONE should do in a relationship regardless of gender. So basically being mature. I don’t like that it is presented in a way that this is mainly an issue for women, because it is not.
Second, I don’t like that mens bad behavior is excused with a false biological narrative. It comes to “boys will be boys” saying, and I do not accept that trope. Men are human as much as women are. We really don’t have such a huge difference that we need a book to understand it. At least like this.
Lastly, as someone not American, I believe most of the evolution mentioned is actually a cultural phenomenon. There were a lot of false suggestions about why men are the way they are and why women feel the way they do. It is not universal and rather very cultural. I can say that comfortably because it is different in where I am from, and in the different countries I lived in.
Overall I would say there are a lot of issues and very little good advice in this book. So don’t take it seriously. But if you would like to read a real research on the difference on female and male brain I suggest Louann Brizendine’s Female Brain and Male Brain books. She is a real neuropsychiatrist and a professor. Her research is real and based on clinical research of years.
12 years later… second review after being married 10 years. This book is spot on. Also, I think most self help books could be this short if they didn’t repeat themselves and fill them up with anecdotal stories. Does it appear anti-feminist? Yes. Is it? No. It’s not on the Dr Laura level of “just shut up and let your man be a man and get out of his way”, but it is touching on the same vein of truth. MEN ARE NOT HAIRY WOMEN. We can’t respond to them or interpret their actions as we would a woman’s. This is all in line with the Love and Respect teaching as well. Shoot, it goes for any gender— stop trying to change yourself to please someone and change them to please you. Accept yourself, accept them.
2011 review-A quick read, and an open door to lots of reflection and a paradigm shift. I can see in what she describes past patterns. The are generalizations, but you have to be open minded and honestly ask yourself if you have experienced something similar. It is short, but I think it's worth it and will check out her other materials.
Ahhhh...the glorious simplicity of men. What does it tell you that a book entitled Making Sense of Men has only 73 pages? If the tables were turned and the topic was what attracts a woman to a man, 73 pages wouldn’t even be adequate to cover the introduction...and, after reading the last sentence of the third volume, men would still be baffled. Why? Because no matter how evolved we are, we women are complex...intricate...enigmatic...often confusing...and, are at the mercy of our fluctuating emotions that are heavily influenced by the calendar, our central nervous system, and the success of our most recent shopping excursion.
Written largely for the benefit of single women still looking for their “One”, Making Sense of Men presents the results of Alison Armstrong’s queries of hundreds of men. She shares the top four biological characteristics that spark a guy’s initial physical attraction and the top four emotional traits that are capable of fanning this spark into a full-fledged heart-and-soul warming flame. I’ll venture to say that most women will be surprised at least twice during the few hours spent reading this mini-manual. And, even if you’ve already found your “One”, it’s well worth read...if only to help you stoke the fire.
great study indeed. when reading i recalled that all those goodies i had when dating with my husband was because of the self confidence and authenticity i had, no effort were made except being myself and enjoying that so much. and knowing that man responds to woman and that she can change her husband's attitude rather than nagging might be the key to so many marriages in trouble. glad to learn that
Although the book is a little superficial and not well researched, I think it makes some good points about differences between women and men and how we can communicate better and meet each others' needs.
It's more of a booklet than a book. You can tell it was an old release because it fails to include any important disclaimers.
And, in my opinion, it needs to come with a big list of disclaimers, one of them being that the advice in the booklet is only applicable to healthy and loving mutual relationships, doesn't condone abuse, doesn't defend violence against women and doesn't promote victim-shaming.
Anyone reading this booklet needs to remember that they are never responsible for other people's actions and reactions. That men (the main subject in this book) must do their own inner work and learn to communicate and curb their impulses. That a woman can only do so much on her end and is not solely responsible for making a relationship work. That before women even think of getting into relationships, they also must do inner work in order to heal their patterns of choosing or chasing unsuitable, abusive or unavailable men. The author unfortunately fails to mention any of this and at times makes it seem as if men have no responsibility or mind of their own.
Make sure you apply the author's advice with discernment.
I would say this is a beautiful book that inspires women to be more of themselves and pour their attention into what inspire them, what makes them passionate and more confident. it speaks of when we are most authentic the people around will embrace that and help us grow even more. It especially addresses how men adore authenticity, although I haven’t applied much of the teachings to my own life, it has made me pay more attention to how I nurture myself. If anything this book invites the reader to let men love you and to hold space for the miscommunications that can happen in partnerships. 3⭐️ because I felt that the book was a bit short for me and I’d love to go deeper. Alison has a course of it, but i wish she gave more info in the book. I am curious to use this knowledge and test it out.
Sicer nisem ciljna publika te knjige, ma me je vseeno zanimalo prebrat - je kratka knižica, sem prebral v šusu. Smo si res tok različni? Se mi zdi, da tisto o moški notranji motivaciji pr meni ne drži najbl - js zelo rabim zunanje spodbude. Je pa res da so zaupanje vase, resničnost, navdušenje nad stvarmi in vračanje pozornosti oz. hvaležno sprejemanje, vse to same privlačne lastnosti. Pa to da nerganje in jamranje ne deluje, spodbuda pa kr požene je tud zlo res.
In zelo všeč mi je blo poglavje oz. odstavek o ritah, kako so nam všeč :) In kako pa ženskam marsikaj na njihovem telesu ni, da so zelo samokritične in reklame in filmi pr tem nič ne pomagajo ...in mi je to kr žalostno... sj tud meni ni vse všeč na meni, samo ja...
Women seem to like twisting, winding, indirect methods of dealing with life and relationships. In Alison Armstrong’s Book, “Making Sense of Men,” we learn about our own methodology as well as what men want from us. Armstrong shows us the plain, direct response that men want or expect. She also shows us what women do, in their own roundabout way. Can the two ever merge and become one? Hopefully, the reader will heed her advice, and read more in her informative series that helps us to discover ourselves, the opposite sex, and our blended lives. An easy, albeit intriguing book, which deserves to be read a second time, or repeatedly thereafter as a reminder. Well done Alison, well done.
Is he charmed and enchanted? 1. Self Confidence, 2. Authenticity, 3. Passion, 4. Receptivity.
When you notice a man is charmed and enchanted-consciously set him up to succeed. He is in "give mode" so he needs to know what you need and what makes you happy. Tell him. Then relax and appreciate his efforts and results.
Your gracious receiving will fuel him to even greater efforts.
Can you see how it is in your hands?
This woman has it figured out. Her books have changed my life. I recommend to everyone.
This is a good introduction to what Alison teaches in her seminars. Her information and teachings have been so valuable, my boyfriend will sometimes reference something she’s taught. If you’re committed to hating men forever, don’t bother reading this, may peace be with you. But if you’re curious if there’s another way, you might just find that there are many treasures to be found in her teachings. (Her teachings have also helped me understand myself and other women more and how I can get more of what I need and want from the world and others, fyi.)
This is a fairly decent and short publication to read about understanding men from a woman's perspective. With that said, there were times where I felt like I was reading a promotional pamphlet with filler put in here and there and that you would get the bigger picture from attending a conference.
Oh, and I would have enjoyed reading it a bit more if it was supported by scholarship instead of the completely homegrown approach of "I've been studying men since 1991 so this makes me an expert..." But this is just my perspective and overall preference.
I believe this is the last of Alison Armstrong’s books that I had not yet read. I thought it might be a rehash of everything else I’d learned from her but no! I was pleasantly surprised that there was new and important info I’d not yet gleaned from her other literary works. I recommend this book to any woman but particularly a woman looking to find a man or rekindle a current relationship. Alison’s work is remarkable and I’m so glad to have learned from her. Loved this book!
Truly fascinating how our use of language is so very different. Many interesting ideas on this book which illuminates how women can utilize their nature to create positive connection instead of unknowingly driving their partner away. Our very natures create a big disconnect that can be fatal to true connection. Read and learn how you're doing it all wrong and how to fix it!
No profound "Ahas!". It isn't bad. What she covers is good. It's written simply and quickly. Read while book in an hour. You can tell it was created from her conference material. Didn't like the advertising in the book. I did like how she emphasized responsibility and character. Her material is very practical. Anyone can grab something from the book to work on.
This was an interesting read in that it provides a glimpse into how women may perceive men. I found it to be insightful and it gave me some sense as to what women might be looking for, yet it also gave rise to how much this really expresses a desire for a co-dependent man that wants to make a woman happy…and how much that really doesn’t seem to work for anyone.
Basically this whole book comes down to one chart she fills out as the book progresses. If you want to receive this energy (see chart) then you need to be more in touch with your feminine (guidance not included). Three stars cause the chart is interesting.
This book helped me understand the places men traverse in life as they mature. As a result, I was able to understand my now husband as we were dating and be patient and loving with him.
You know someone is the real deal when they can make their point quickly and effectively. I’ve read much longer books on this subject but this one has had by far the biggest effect. So good!
The 4 points made sense but they were reall y dragged out. You can easily read the book in one sitting but this really could have been an article in a magazine.
Buena lectura. 100% una introducción a The Queen’s Code, da un barrido general de los temas que se tocan. Suena todo tan fácil, el desafío está en cómo uno trabaja los temas que se tocan. Harto shadow work me parece. O al menos las cosas que lo traen.
Alison never disappoints. Another great book to help build our understanding of the men in our lives. Her observations and the knowledge that she shares is invaluable to both men and women.
This is the most profound book every written. Easy reading and entertaining. It's amazing how we make relationships harder than they have to be, we can stop being ignorant of the opposite sex and how they work.
This information is precious and valuable. I feel like I stumbled upon a treasure chest that has been sitting in my home, but I didn't know how to open it. I will teach these things to my daughter, so she may be blessed in knowing the value of a man.
Wasn’t sure what I would find in this book. After reading it and some reflection I can see many of my past decisions in a different light with more understanding as to why I did and do throngs the way I do. There is some insightful observations and worth a read for both women and men in my opinion.