Choices.
We tell ourselves that the choices we make for ourselves are what stitch together the patterns of our lives; but perhaps choices that are made for us are even more vital, more important, and ultimately, more revealing.
One can’t disallow choices made for us by another person on a level of knowledge and understanding of who we are, and who we might want to be.
CADILLAC JACK, a lesser novel by Larry McMurtry (lesser only in that it isn’t the kind of book that wins Pulitzers, but since McMurtry already had one for the epic western novel LONESOME DOVE, he earned the right to write a modern comedic tale about men and women), is a book about the realization of why we do what we do, or, at least, the self-awareness to question why we live our lives and with whom.
We tell ourselves we make our decisions, but are these conscious choices, or merely following chance and circumstance? Is each of us a tragic figure fumbling through pre-ordained fate?
I’d like to think that is not the case, but then again, this novel was chosen for me to read – not sought out or discovered alone. For that reason alone, special attention must be paid.
Quote #1 – Jack on the female species:
“For no clear reason I felt responsible for their common feeling that life was somehow lacking. This strange, irrational sense of responsibility is probably responsible for most of my problems with women. At bottom I must think of myself as more like a chemical than a man. Once the chemical me is infused into the life of a woman the woman ought to feel competent and important, not skill-less and cipherlike, and if they don’t I feel guilty.”
The protagonist of the title is a man who spends his waking hours on the road in a plush Cadillac with one of a kind hubcaps, finding lost antiques and treasures to resell. His connections stretch across the country. He spends days and nights in auctions or at flea markets.
Oddly enough, for the story of a collector and “picker” who can’t be pinned down, the first third of the book is a comedy about the inner circles of the Washington elite. The beautiful and the bored aristocracy of American royalty strolling through rooms of ornate antiques prove to be as muddle-headed as the poorest among us. These interludes are amusing, but, as Jack ultimately figures out, also unimportant and soul-killing.
As one might imagine, Jack feels alienated in such surroundings, but being easily bewitched by the powers of a beautiful woman (one Cindy Sanders, an engaged Washington princess who appears not to think twice for having a fling with Jack), he strolls along for the adventure. Jack also has two ex-wives he talks to frequently, and also falls for Jean Arber (and her two little girls) – a practical woman who is diametrically opposite the luscious Cindy. Like Cindy, she has an antique shop. Unlike Cindy, she is grounded and gives a damn. So enter Jack, who is a bit of a white knight, or so he thinks. Jean is the first woman (ever?) to call him on his bullshit, which makes him both respect her all the more, and want to make her future wife number three.
The rest of the book deals with antiques and collectibles, and Jack’s adventures in same. No spoilers here, but I will say the ending is 100% unsatisfying, but frankly, that’s McMurtry’s point in this rumination on how men and women relate – and while most would think my own predilections towards collecting rare books, records and other paraphernalia would be the reason why this book was chosen FOR me, instead, I took away different things from the novel.
Quote #2- Jack on “things:”
“I make my share of mistakes, but one I never make is to underestimate the power of things. People imbued from childhood with the myth of the primacy of feeling seldom like to admit they really want things as much as they might want love, but my career has convinced me that plenty of them do.”
I guess I don’t want things and stuff and items as much as I thought – for instead, I see more of myself in the desiring of love … and yet, I have rooms filled with treasures which have caused me no end of grief or pain in the last two decades of my life.
As many have said before me: “It’s complicated.”
And then there is the accurate notation (at least in my own experience) Jack makes on how women lack patience:
Quote #3 - Jack on female patience – and in regards to Cindy in particular:
“Her impatience made me nervous. I myself evidently have too much patience – a useful quality if one spends half one’s life waiting in auctions – and female impatience always makes me nervous, as if it were somehow my responsibility to hurry the universe.”
However, Jean ultimately turns that assumption back on Jack and points out some of his blind spots – ultimately rejecting him for the immediate future as he goes back on the road for another buying run. Jack’s musings are really where the novel should have ended, but instead, we get another chapter that I won’t be discussing here (no spoilers, remember).
Instead, I’ll close this obvious Five Star Review with a final Jack quote.
Quote #4 – Jack on relationships that failed for want of a word or a gesture:
“I should have been more conclusive, then, it seemed to me. If I had just said the right words, or if Jean had, we might have dispelled all the vagueness that afflicted our relationship – vagueness about what we both wanted, apart or with one another … for a while, I felt as if I were actually about to reach a conclusion, after which I would understand everything I needed to know about myself, about my experience, and about my relations with beautiful objects and beautiful women….”
So does he reach a conclusion? That is the question with no answer given by me. You’ll need to read the novel and decide for yourself. In my case, it took several days of pondering before coming to my own conclusion.